August 20, 2025 • 13 mins
In this episode of Somatic Healing for Wellness-Focused Women, Rae breaks down the top 5 misconceptions about breathwork - from the myth that you have to do long, intense sessions to the false belief that feeling dysregulated means you've failed.
You'll hear Rae’s personal story of how breathwork changed her life after grief and anxiety, and how this practice can support everything from daily stress relief to emotional healing, creativity, and nervous system regulation.
🌬️ In this episode, you'll learn:
✨ Why gentle breathwork can be just as powerful as intense sessions
✨ How breathwork supports both trauma healing and everyday well-being
✨ What it really means to be "dysregulated" (and why it's not failure)
✨ The difference between short micro-practices and long sessions
✨ How to create a breathwork practice that works for you
Whether you’re brand new or a seasoned breather, this episode will help you connect deeper with your body and release the pressure to “do it perfectly.”
Plus, send in your questions, shares, testimonials, or wins using the new SpeakPipe feature here 🎤
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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So, for today's episode, Iwanted to dive into some
misconceptions, some things thatwe believe to be true but
(00:23):
aren't true, about breathwork,and I decided to dive into this
topic because I've beenreceiving a lot of new inquiries
and new clients coming in aboutbreathwork, specifically for
the summer sale that's going onright now and in the beginning
if it's their first time, or ifthey're in the beginning of
(00:44):
doing breathwork, or evenactually experienced breathers.
There are some things that justaren't necessarily true, or I
don't believe them to be true,about breathwork, and so I
thought it would be helpful todo a little episode on just that
, and so, as we dive in, I wantto kick things off by sharing a
little bit about my story andhow I found Somatic Breathwork
(01:07):
and how I became a facilitatortoday.
So, a few years ago, when I hadrecently lost someone in my
immediate family and I wasreally struggling with anxiety,
I was struggling with grief andI was just really not in a great
place struggling with grief andI was just really not in a
(01:29):
great place, and so I had goneto a yoga festival with one of
my friends, and at these yogafestivals the way that it works
is like you have a calendar ofdifferent events there's like so
many different ones to choosefrom and you make your schedule
yourself each day and you canchoose between like three to
four activities, depending onlike which pass you have, and so
on the calendar.
There was one class that stoodout to me.
(01:49):
It was called Radiant LoveBreathwork, and I read the
description and it was all aboutlike alchemizing emotion,
releasing stored trauma,relieving anxiety, processing
grief, like all of these thingsthat I really really needed at
that time, and so I was like Ihave to take this class, and so
I take this class, and it waslike the first time that I felt
(02:12):
like my mind actually sloweddown, like I actually was
present in my body.
It was really I had like a hugeemotional release and it was
really like a pivotal point inmy journey.
I didn't know it at the timeand so, fast forward, a few
months after that moment, I endup pursuing this path of yeah,
(02:33):
breathwork, I would drive likean hour and a half from my house
into Brooklyn so that I couldexperience breathwork, because
it just was not accessible atthat time.
And then, you know, later onover the years I would move on
to become certified through thatsame teacher that I went to her
class in and I would get a fewother certifications in
breathwork.
(02:53):
And then I went into coachingand I got a few certifications
in somatic coaching and somatictherapy and it kind of was like
this catalyst that opened up awhole can of worms for me.
So that is how I discoveredbreathwork and today, how it
shows up in my life today isevery day is a bit different.
Some days I'll have athree-minute practice and other
(03:15):
days I'll have a 45-minutepractice.
So I kind of just meet myselfwhere I'm at on that moment and
I will share a little bit moreabout that too in the
misconceptions, that moment, andI will share a little bit more
about that too in themisconceptions.
So the first misconception thatI wanted to share is that the
harder you breathe, the greaterthe results or the greater the
transformation.
And I see this a lot on socialmedia, where there'll be these
(03:38):
like videos of these people, youknow, doing breathwork and
having these like bigexperiences or like yelling or
screaming, and, yes, somebreathwork can absolutely look
like that.
I've even seen, I've even likeled sessions where that's where
it leads to.
But that is not the agenda oflike the style that I teach and
that is not, um, what I believeto be true.
(04:00):
I don't believe that the harderyou breathe, the greater the
results or the transformation.
And there was one time where Iwent to a class and the
facilitator was, you know,really attached to this concept
and so she was really, reallyencouraging us to like breathe
really deep and breathe reallystrong, and it was like really,
really intense, and I actuallyended up pulling a muscle in my
(04:23):
chest, believe it or not.
So everyone has their differentstyle.
So, like, no shame to theteacher, by any means, but my
point is that, ultimately, youwant to listen to your body as
you're breathing and you canexperience all different types
of results depending on whatyou're looking for when you tune
into your breath and tune intoyour body.
(04:44):
And, like I was mentioning alittle bit earlier, some days I
want something like a breathpattern or a breathing session
that is really gentle,particularly like around my
cycle, and other days I want todo a practice for the purpose of
like increasing my energy orlike an espresso shot or
(05:05):
something like that.
So there are so many differentways that you can use breathwork
, based on what your intentionis, what you need, and it
doesn't have to be this likesuper intense experience.
It can be very gentle and verygrounding and very calming, and
that can also bring greatresults.
(05:25):
Another misconception that Ihear often is that somatic work
and breath work is only forpeople that have experienced
significant major trauma, and Idon't believe that to be true.
I think that these practicesare really for anyone that is
seeking a deeper self-awareness,are really for anyone that is
(05:46):
seeking a deeper self-awareness,creativity, personal growth,
emotional relief, anxiety relief, and so being a trauma-informed
facilitator.
It doesn't necessarily meanthat it's only for people with
major trauma.
It can be really great for evenjust fostering a better
connection with yourself,strengthening your relationships
, having a deeper mind-bodyconnection, relieving stress,
(06:07):
and I find that these practicesare really about being curious
and exploring exactly what it isthat you need for your mind and
for your body and making bothof those places feel like a
really safe place, and I know,even for myself I had like
shared a little bit of my storyin the beginning, but even prior
(06:28):
to that moment, you know, I hadstruggled.
I had been struggling withanxiety since I was very young
and throughout some of my life Ididn't really have awareness
around the fact that I wasexperiencing different kinds of
trauma.
And it wasn't really until mytwenties when I realized that
some of the things I wasexperiencing were like really
not okay.
(06:48):
And I share this, becausesometimes it takes some
exploring to discover the rootof what is happening for you,
and sometimes we don't actuallyalways have like awareness,
we're in survival mode or, youknow, we have our automated
responses, and so sometimes ittakes, yeah, some exploring and
(07:08):
discovery to really find outwhat the root of your challenges
might be.
And another misconception thatI would love to dive into is
that you need to do these likehour long practices, these
really intense, time-consumingpractices for breathwork to work
.
And I find that long breathworkpractices absolutely have their
(07:33):
benefits.
Yes, I personally do love themas well, and I also find that
the micro practices have theability to create, like all
these incredible shifts in yourdaily life, and I think that's
because it's like a bit moretangible.
It doesn't seem at like this,like big, overwhelming thing of
like okay, I need to like sitand breathe and meditate for
(07:54):
like an hour a day and likerealistically, like I'm busy,
you're busy, like I'm notsitting here and breathing for
hours a day.
And, like I mentioned, my dailypractice ranges anywhere from
like three minutes to 20, 25, 45.
I love doing those hour longbreathwork sessions too, but it
(08:16):
really depends on you know whatI need, what I can manage.
I love the hour of breathworkbecause it's powerful and I know
afterwards I'm going to befeeling like lighter and
open-minded and refreshed andenergized and connected to my
heart, and I can absolutelyaccess those same feelings in
the micro practices as well.
So breathwork is really justlike a great opportunity to
(08:38):
reset.
There's no such thing at least Idon't believe there's any such
thing as being like good or badat breathwork.
I don't really believe in that.
And then the last misconceptionI would love to share with you
is that if I am dysregulated, Ihave failed, and that is false.
(08:59):
That is not true.
I think that nervous systemregulation, doing breath work,
being in the somatic world, youknow it's really about finding
that place of safety, it's aboutcoming back to your baseline
and it's not at all about likenever feeling anything or never
feeling stressed or nevergetting angry, and I'd argue
(09:22):
even that there is this thingthat happens when you start to
heal or you start to, you know,dive into all these spaces of
somatics and breath work and andthere's this funny thing that
happens where you start toactually feel more and and
that's because you're gettinglike more awareness of your
(09:43):
experience, you know, moreawareness of your mind, more
awareness of your body, andsometimes that includes like
feeling more, and the more youfeel, the more you can alchemize
and process and widen yourwindow of tolerance and then,
because of that, you'll be lessdysregulated and you'll get to
(10:04):
this place where it's not likefailing if you're triggered, not
at all, it's just likeinformation and it's like, okay,
this is like a moment for me to, you know, use my tools or feel
a feeling or understand what'scoming up for me, and it's not
about like things being perfector processing perfectly, like
(10:27):
nobody is perfect, myselfincluded, and you know, this is
like the information that I likenerd out on.
You know, like I am herebecause at one point none of
this made sense to me and Ireally struggled.
I struggled in my relationships, I struggled in expressing, I
struggled with managing myanxiety, and that is how I came
(10:48):
to where I am now, because Ijust kept on following the path
and following the path andmoving through lots of
dysregulation to, you know, findsome safety in my nervous
system.
And, yeah, you know, I'm reallygrateful for that journey.
But I always like to remindpeople that, if you are, you
know, I'm really grateful forthat journey, but I always like
to remind people that, if youare, you know, finding yourself
(11:08):
dysregulated, it doesn't meanthat you failed, means that it
is information.
Nobody is perfect, includingmyself, and it's just like about
following the path, followingyour curiosity, understanding
your nervous system,understanding your body,
understanding your triggers andgoing from there.
And so that is what we have fortoday's episode.
(11:28):
So, as always, thank you somuch for tuning in.
I love chatting with you andI've seen that there are a lot
of people that are signing upfor the Somatic Healing
Newsletter.
When you sign up for that, youdo receive access to Breathe
Easy, and each time someonesigns up, I get like a little
email notification and I do alittle happy dance and I'm like,
(11:48):
yes, a new person is here.
So if you are new here and youwant to chat, even if you want
to just say what's up, ask me afew questions, let me know what
is landing for you, let me knowwhat you want to hear more of.
If you have a question, you canalways reach out to me.
You can send me a DM, you cansend me an email.
(12:10):
And, yeah, there's also a newfeature and I'm actually trying
it out for the first time withthis episode and it's called
SpeakPipe, and what that meansis that you can send me a voice
note.
It's a 90-second voice notethat you can send me a voice
note.
It's a 90 second voice notethat you can send me, and that
can be like a question that youwant me to answer on the podcast
(12:31):
.
That could be a testimonial,like if you want to share with
me one of your wins, I wouldlove to celebrate you.
So, yeah, check that out.
I'm going to link it in theshow notes.
This is the first time I'mdoing it.
When I first, first, firststarted the podcast, I had like
a question box.
It was called curiousconversations, and so this is
(12:55):
kind of like another fun way tobring that back where you can.
Yeah, you can send me a voicenote.
So, yeah, I would love to hearfrom you and, yeah, I hope that
you enjoyed today's episode.
I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
Thank you for being here andtuning in to Somatic Healing for
Wellness-Focused Women podcast.
If you were moved or inspiredby today's episode, please take
(13:19):
a moment to leave a rating andreview on Apple Podcasts.
It truly helps the podcast growand helps more people find me
on their healing journey.
It truly helps the podcast growand helps more people find me
on their healing journey.
Make sure to check out the shownotes, to sign up for the
monthly newsletter, links tomore resources, opportunities to
work with me and ways that wecan stay connected.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
(13:41):
Instagram to follow me atraythesomaticcoach.
Send me a DM.
I'd love to connect with youand I answer each note that
comes in.
I am so happy you're here and Icannot wait to talk with you on
our next episode of the podcast.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So, for today's episode, Iwanted to dive into some
misconceptions, some things thatwe believe to be true but
(00:23):
aren't true, about breathwork,and I decided to dive into this
topic because I've beenreceiving a lot of new inquiries
and new clients coming in aboutbreathwork, specifically for
the summer sale that's going onright now and in the beginning
if it's their first time, or ifthey're in the beginning of
(00:44):
doing breathwork, or evenactually experienced breathers.
There are some things that justaren't necessarily true, or I
don't believe them to be true,about breathwork, and so I
thought it would be helpful todo a little episode on just that
, and so, as we dive in, I wantto kick things off by sharing a
little bit about my story andhow I found Somatic Breathwork
(01:07):
and how I became a facilitatortoday.
So, a few years ago, when I hadrecently lost someone in my
immediate family and I wasreally struggling with anxiety,
I was struggling with grief andI was just really not in a great
place struggling with grief andI was just really not in a
(01:29):
great place, and so I had goneto a yoga festival with one of
my friends, and at these yogafestivals the way that it works
is like you have a calendar ofdifferent events there's like so
many different ones to choosefrom and you make your schedule
yourself each day and you canchoose between like three to
four activities, depending onlike which pass you have, and so
on the calendar.
There was one class that stoodout to me.
(01:49):
It was called Radiant LoveBreathwork, and I read the
description and it was all aboutlike alchemizing emotion,
releasing stored trauma,relieving anxiety, processing
grief, like all of these thingsthat I really really needed at
that time, and so I was like Ihave to take this class, and so
I take this class, and it waslike the first time that I felt
(02:12):
like my mind actually sloweddown, like I actually was
present in my body.
It was really I had like a hugeemotional release and it was
really like a pivotal point inmy journey.
I didn't know it at the timeand so, fast forward, a few
months after that moment, I endup pursuing this path of yeah,
(02:33):
breathwork, I would drive likean hour and a half from my house
into Brooklyn so that I couldexperience breathwork, because
it just was not accessible atthat time.
And then, you know, later onover the years I would move on
to become certified through thatsame teacher that I went to her
class in and I would get a fewother certifications in
breathwork.
(02:53):
And then I went into coachingand I got a few certifications
in somatic coaching and somatictherapy and it kind of was like
this catalyst that opened up awhole can of worms for me.
So that is how I discoveredbreathwork and today, how it
shows up in my life today isevery day is a bit different.
Some days I'll have athree-minute practice and other
(03:15):
days I'll have a 45-minutepractice.
So I kind of just meet myselfwhere I'm at on that moment and
I will share a little bit moreabout that too in the
misconceptions, that moment, andI will share a little bit more
about that too in themisconceptions.
So the first misconception thatI wanted to share is that the
harder you breathe, the greaterthe results or the greater the
transformation.
And I see this a lot on socialmedia, where there'll be these
(03:38):
like videos of these people, youknow, doing breathwork and
having these like bigexperiences or like yelling or
screaming, and, yes, somebreathwork can absolutely look
like that.
I've even seen, I've even likeled sessions where that's where
it leads to.
But that is not the agenda oflike the style that I teach and
that is not, um, what I believeto be true.
(04:00):
I don't believe that the harderyou breathe, the greater the
results or the transformation.
And there was one time where Iwent to a class and the
facilitator was, you know,really attached to this concept
and so she was really, reallyencouraging us to like breathe
really deep and breathe reallystrong, and it was like really,
really intense, and I actuallyended up pulling a muscle in my
(04:23):
chest, believe it or not.
So everyone has their differentstyle.
So, like, no shame to theteacher, by any means, but my
point is that, ultimately, youwant to listen to your body as
you're breathing and you canexperience all different types
of results depending on whatyou're looking for when you tune
into your breath and tune intoyour body.
(04:44):
And, like I was mentioning alittle bit earlier, some days I
want something like a breathpattern or a breathing session
that is really gentle,particularly like around my
cycle, and other days I want todo a practice for the purpose of
like increasing my energy orlike an espresso shot or
(05:05):
something like that.
So there are so many differentways that you can use breathwork
, based on what your intentionis, what you need, and it
doesn't have to be this likesuper intense experience.
It can be very gentle and verygrounding and very calming, and
that can also bring greatresults.
(05:25):
Another misconception that Ihear often is that somatic work
and breath work is only forpeople that have experienced
significant major trauma, and Idon't believe that to be true.
I think that these practicesare really for anyone that is
seeking a deeper self-awareness,are really for anyone that is
(05:46):
seeking a deeper self-awareness,creativity, personal growth,
emotional relief, anxiety relief, and so being a trauma-informed
facilitator.
It doesn't necessarily meanthat it's only for people with
major trauma.
It can be really great for evenjust fostering a better
connection with yourself,strengthening your relationships
, having a deeper mind-bodyconnection, relieving stress,
(06:07):
and I find that these practicesare really about being curious
and exploring exactly what it isthat you need for your mind and
for your body and making bothof those places feel like a
really safe place, and I know,even for myself I had like
shared a little bit of my storyin the beginning, but even prior
(06:28):
to that moment, you know, I hadstruggled.
I had been struggling withanxiety since I was very young
and throughout some of my life Ididn't really have awareness
around the fact that I wasexperiencing different kinds of
trauma.
And it wasn't really until mytwenties when I realized that
some of the things I wasexperiencing were like really
not okay.
(06:48):
And I share this, becausesometimes it takes some
exploring to discover the rootof what is happening for you,
and sometimes we don't actuallyalways have like awareness,
we're in survival mode or, youknow, we have our automated
responses, and so sometimes ittakes, yeah, some exploring and
(07:08):
discovery to really find outwhat the root of your challenges
might be.
And another misconception thatI would love to dive into is
that you need to do these likehour long practices, these
really intense, time-consumingpractices for breathwork to work
.
And I find that long breathworkpractices absolutely have their
(07:33):
benefits.
Yes, I personally do love themas well, and I also find that
the micro practices have theability to create, like all
these incredible shifts in yourdaily life, and I think that's
because it's like a bit moretangible.
It doesn't seem at like this,like big, overwhelming thing of
like okay, I need to like sitand breathe and meditate for
(07:54):
like an hour a day and likerealistically, like I'm busy,
you're busy, like I'm notsitting here and breathing for
hours a day.
And, like I mentioned, my dailypractice ranges anywhere from
like three minutes to 20, 25, 45.
I love doing those hour longbreathwork sessions too, but it
(08:16):
really depends on you know whatI need, what I can manage.
I love the hour of breathworkbecause it's powerful and I know
afterwards I'm going to befeeling like lighter and
open-minded and refreshed andenergized and connected to my
heart, and I can absolutelyaccess those same feelings in
the micro practices as well.
So breathwork is really justlike a great opportunity to
(08:38):
reset.
There's no such thing at least Idon't believe there's any such
thing as being like good or badat breathwork.
I don't really believe in that.
And then the last misconceptionI would love to share with you
is that if I am dysregulated, Ihave failed, and that is false.
(08:59):
That is not true.
I think that nervous systemregulation, doing breath work,
being in the somatic world, youknow it's really about finding
that place of safety, it's aboutcoming back to your baseline
and it's not at all about likenever feeling anything or never
feeling stressed or nevergetting angry, and I'd argue
(09:22):
even that there is this thingthat happens when you start to
heal or you start to, you know,dive into all these spaces of
somatics and breath work and andthere's this funny thing that
happens where you start toactually feel more and and
that's because you're gettinglike more awareness of your
(09:43):
experience, you know, moreawareness of your mind, more
awareness of your body, andsometimes that includes like
feeling more, and the more youfeel, the more you can alchemize
and process and widen yourwindow of tolerance and then,
because of that, you'll be lessdysregulated and you'll get to
(10:04):
this place where it's not likefailing if you're triggered, not
at all, it's just likeinformation and it's like, okay,
this is like a moment for me to, you know, use my tools or feel
a feeling or understand what'scoming up for me, and it's not
about like things being perfector processing perfectly, like
(10:27):
nobody is perfect, myselfincluded, and you know, this is
like the information that I likenerd out on.
You know, like I am herebecause at one point none of
this made sense to me and Ireally struggled.
I struggled in my relationships, I struggled in expressing, I
struggled with managing myanxiety, and that is how I came
(10:48):
to where I am now, because Ijust kept on following the path
and following the path andmoving through lots of
dysregulation to, you know, findsome safety in my nervous
system.
And, yeah, you know, I'm reallygrateful for that journey.
But I always like to remindpeople that, if you are, you
know, I'm really grateful forthat journey, but I always like
to remind people that, if youare, you know, finding yourself
(11:08):
dysregulated, it doesn't meanthat you failed, means that it
is information.
Nobody is perfect, includingmyself, and it's just like about
following the path, followingyour curiosity, understanding
your nervous system,understanding your body,
understanding your triggers andgoing from there.
And so that is what we have fortoday's episode.
(11:28):
So, as always, thank you somuch for tuning in.
I love chatting with you andI've seen that there are a lot
of people that are signing upfor the Somatic Healing
Newsletter.
When you sign up for that, youdo receive access to Breathe
Easy, and each time someonesigns up, I get like a little
email notification and I do alittle happy dance and I'm like,
(11:48):
yes, a new person is here.
So if you are new here and youwant to chat, even if you want
to just say what's up, ask me afew questions, let me know what
is landing for you, let me knowwhat you want to hear more of.
If you have a question, you canalways reach out to me.
You can send me a DM, you cansend me an email.
(12:10):
And, yeah, there's also a newfeature and I'm actually trying
it out for the first time withthis episode and it's called
SpeakPipe, and what that meansis that you can send me a voice
note.
It's a 90-second voice notethat you can send me a voice
note.
It's a 90 second voice notethat you can send me, and that
can be like a question that youwant me to answer on the podcast
(12:31):
.
That could be a testimonial,like if you want to share with
me one of your wins, I wouldlove to celebrate you.
So, yeah, check that out.
I'm going to link it in theshow notes.
This is the first time I'mdoing it.
When I first, first, firststarted the podcast, I had like
a question box.
It was called curiousconversations, and so this is
(12:55):
kind of like another fun way tobring that back where you can.
Yeah, you can send me a voicenote.
So, yeah, I would love to hearfrom you and, yeah, I hope that
you enjoyed today's episode.
I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
Thank you for being here andtuning in to Somatic Healing for
Wellness-Focused Women podcast.
If you were moved or inspiredby today's episode, please take
(13:19):
a moment to leave a rating andreview on Apple Podcasts.
It truly helps the podcast growand helps more people find me
on their healing journey.
It truly helps the podcast growand helps more people find me
on their healing journey.
Make sure to check out the shownotes, to sign up for the
monthly newsletter, links tomore resources, opportunities to
work with me and ways that wecan stay connected.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
(13:41):
Instagram to follow me atraythesomaticcoach.
Send me a DM.
I'd love to connect with youand I answer each note that
comes in.
I am so happy you're here and Icannot wait to talk with you on
our next episode of the podcast.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.