(#97) Somatic Healing for Grief: Nervous System Support for Loss & Transition

In this heartfelt episode of Somatic Healing for Wellness-Focused Women, Rae opens her new mini-series on grief, trauma, and somatic healing by exploring the body-based experience of grief and how to move through loss with compassion and awareness.

Building on her powerful workshop at Transcend Fest, Rae shares her own journey with grief and offers supportive insights for anyone navigating loss, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a breakup, a career change, or grieving an older version of yourself.

You’ll learn how grief can manifest physically (tightness in the chest, exhaustion, numbness, stomach issues), why these sensations arise, and how to work with your nervous system instead of against it. Rae also shares gentle somatic tools, like breathwork, supportive body postures, and self-compassion practices, that help your body metabolize emotions rather than suppress them.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, honor your own process, and remember that grief is not something to “fix,” but a sacred journey of feeling and healing.

🌸 In this episode, you’ll discover:

• How grief shows up in the body beyond loss of a loved one
• The nervous system’s response to grief, trauma, and change
• Somatic practices to support emotional release (like legs-up-the-wall + hand-to-heart)
• How to offer yourself compassion while navigating difficult emotions
• Why grief work is a sacred, powerful part of your healing path

💌 Sign up for the Somatic Healing Newsletter to access Rae’s free resource library of breathwork + meditation practices.

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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Ray.
I'm a somatic coach andbreathwork facilitator.
And if you aren't new here,welcome back.
I'm so glad that you are tuningin for today's episode.
So just recently, a few weeksago, I taught at Transcend Fest

(00:21):
in Middlefield, Connecticut, andit was so much fun.
I was teaching a class onsomatic breath work for release,
for moving through grief, andletting go, and then also some
sound healing to work with thoseemotions as well.
So it was a pretty big class.

(00:43):
I think there was about probablybetween like 60 or 70 people
there, and that's definitely themost that I've taught in front
of.
And so I was a bit nervous, butonce I got started, I felt a lot
better.
And overall, I think the classwent really well.
I got a lot of like really nicefeedback and some incredible

(01:04):
shares.
I got to meet amazing peoplethat came to the class that I
taught.
And I also had a lot of fun uhgoing to a few other classes as
well.
So I went to a sound healingclass.
I rode the ski lift to the topof the mountain and took uh
walked around up there, and thenI took a hullooping class, which

(01:27):
was so much fun.
Um, that was definitely ahighlight for me.
And I made some friends.
Like literally, the the minutethat I got there on Friday, um,
I went for like an opening cacaoceremony, dancing, music, and
within like five seconds, I madea friend.
Um, and it was so fun.

(01:47):
So overall, just like a reallyawesome experience, lots of
different emotions, fun, nerves,teaching, networking, making
friends, um, got to meet justsome really incredible people.
And building off of that class,and also a podcast listener had

(02:07):
previously reached out to merecently about uh talking about
grief and trauma and how to workwith both of these, both of
these things.
So I thought that I would puttogether a little short series
about grief and trauma andworking with the body and
healing through the body.

(02:28):
And so today's episode will bethe first of this series.
I think it's gonna be athree-part series, but I haven't
completely finalized the thirdepisode.
So we'll see how this one goesand the next one goes, and then
we'll kind of go from there.
But um, yeah, that's whattoday's episode is gonna be all
about, covering like the somaticexperience of grief.

(02:51):
And this is definitely a tendertopic, so you know, trigger
wording.
Um, and definitely, yeah, likecheck in with your body and like
your capacity, and if this issomething that you even want to
kind of dive into right now.
Um, it's a tender topic talkingabout grief and loss.
And I've definitely had my umpersonal experiences with this

(03:12):
emotion, and so I've experiencedlots of different forms of grief
over my life.
The biggest moment definitelybeing um in 2015 when I lost an
immediate family member in myfamily, and that would begin
about seven consecutive years oflosing someone in my family, uh,

(03:33):
whether that was like agrandparent or you know,
something like that.
So grief can definitely alsoshow up in so many ways.
It doesn't necessarily have tobe around loss.
So it's not just when someonepasses away.
You can grieve oldrelationships, uh, breakups,
changing jobs, even uh changesthat were in your control, like

(03:58):
getting a new job, or ones thatwere out of your control.
Um, so it can really lookdifferent for everyone.
Grief can also come up when youwhen you versions of yourself
change.
So like different initiations oflife, whether that's like
becoming a parent or becoming apartner, a spouse, like you can
grieve different um versions ofwho you once were.

(04:21):
And so I think that's also likea nuance of of grief.
And I will even say for myself,like planning out this episode
and going for a walk thismorning.
I went for like a 30-minute walkand like an hour bike ride, um,
there was a bit of resistancefor me of even just like talking
about this topic because it isso near and dear to my heart.

(04:43):
And I do help so many peoplenavigate grief.
And so wherever you are on thatjourney, whether it's something
that you're in the midst of orsomething that you know maybe
feels a little bit more distant,um, wherever you are, just know
that it all gets to be here andhowever you're showing up is

(05:04):
exactly right.
So diving in a little bit aboutwhat the somatic experience of
grief can look like.
And this will look different foreverybody, but it can show up as
like experiencing tightness inyour chest, it can look like a
loss of appetite, it can looklike a feeling of heaviness, um,

(05:24):
a feeling of emotion that's kindof either something that is
coming through where you're ableto release it, like it's lots of
crying or release.
And also it can look likefeeling like you can't release,
like you know that something'sthere, it's like a heaviness,
but it it won't come out.
So these aren't things that youknow need to be fixed or
changed.
It's the way that the body isprocessing, and that's okay.

(05:49):
It's uncomfortable, but that youknow, our body is gonna do what
it needs to do in order tometabolize an emotion.
And so what happens is in thesemoments of loss, the body can
interpret it as a threat to oursafety, and it can, you know,
manifest as physical pain, um,stomach issues, nausea,

(06:11):
insomnia, feeling exhausted,feeling restless, feeling numb,
disassociating.
Uh, so there's really no rightor wrong way for grief to show
up.
It's such a wide spectrum.
And yeah, like I mentioned, it'sa super uncomfortable
experience.
Uh, but when we try to resistthe experience because it's

(06:32):
uncomfortable, it can getconfusing because it is so
layered.
And there could be, you know, somany different emotions present
at once, which can also bereally overwhelming.
Um, I always like to say thatlike when you're experiencing
some kind of like anxiety attackor panic attack, some usually

(06:53):
it's because there is such aflood of feeling and such a
flood of emotions, and they'reall so like different that it's
overwhelming and your body justgets like flooded.
And then it's like if uh ifthere was like a bottle, uh,
like a pot of boiling water, thethe water may have been like
pitter pattering before, butsomething happens, we experience

(07:15):
something, and then it goes frombeing like boiling to like
blowing the lid off.
And so I just like to name that,I like to use that analogy, I
find it helpful uh when justlike talking about what it can
feel like in the body, and whenwe do get those like big
releases, and that can be yeah,really challenging and
uncomfortable.

(07:36):
And when working with an emotionlike grief and you know, deep
sadness, sorrow, um there can bepressure from outside people,
pressure from society, uh, youknow, just even like being in
public um to be like moving onor like processing at a certain

(07:57):
pace.
Um I know for like myself, whenI was really moving through a
lot of grief, um, I was, youknow, working in an office
setting at that time.
And so thank God I had my ownoffice because I could just like
close the door if I needed tolike cry or like, you know,

(08:18):
process in some way.
I was a big fan of like going tothe bathroom and like crying in
the bathroom if you have to, um,depending on, you know, what's
coming up for you.
I don't think that's necessarilylike bad or wrong.
Um, I think for me it washelpful because I was like
letting it out in that time ofjust like so much like grief and

(08:39):
sadness.
Um, and I remember it was aboutlike a year, maybe like a year
and a half after uh my dad hadpassed away and I went to Europe
with my family.
And I was there with one of myfriends, and so like I brought a
friend with me to travel with myfamily.
And um we're in our hotel room,and I'm like super like

(09:03):
irritated, and I don't reallyknow why.
And I realized that because Iwas with my friend, it was like
the first time in like a yearand a half that I hadn't cried
every day.
Like I was crying every day, Iwas crying in my car, I was
crying in the bathroom, I wascrying in my office, closing the
door.
Like I was literally just cryingso much.
But because I was with somebodyand with my friend, I didn't

(09:25):
have I felt like I didn't havethat time to just kind of like
let it out.
And so it was an interestingexperience to even like have
that awareness because at thetime I didn't even realize that
I was doing that.
Um, but yeah, suppressing anemotion can often feel even more
painful.
So, you know, the body knowswhat it needs to heal.

(09:46):
Um, it's not something thatneeds to be like fixed, it's
something that needs to be felt.
And so when working with thebody, like really allowing it to
release and move in whatever wayfeels good for you, um is is
exactly right.
So, some other ways that youcould really allow emotion to
move through you, I find when itcomes to grief, is putting uh if

(10:09):
you were to like lay on thefloor and putting your legs up
against the wall.
So like your your your body iskind of in the shape of an L and
your legs are up against thewall.
And allow yourself to lay inthis position and breathe and
allow yourself to like be withthe emotion of what's coming up.
Um, you can place one hand onyour heart, one hand on your

(10:32):
heart and the other on yourbelly, or both hands on your
heart.
Um, and yeah, again, allowingyourself to be with that
emotion.
And then a few things that Iwould love to kind of bring into
the conversation and remindourselves of when we're moving
through these like harderemotions is really allowing
yourself to be compassionatetowards yourself when you're

(10:54):
working with grief.
It is uh such a tenderexperience.
And just the other day, I wastalking with a mentor of mine
and she said something thatreally landed with me.
And she said, if you're doinggrief work, you are on like a
sacred journey.
And that really stuck with me.
And if you are on that pathright now where you are working

(11:17):
through grief or loss, or um,you know, maybe you're not in
the in it, the midst of it, ormaybe you are, um, you know, I
really feel for you, and justlike keep putting one foot in
front of the other.
And so that is what we have fortoday's episode.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
If this topic resonates withyou, definitely let me know.

(11:40):
Send me a DM, send me an email.
Um, next week we'll be talking abit about grief and trauma and
the nervous system as well.
And yeah, wherever you are onthis journey, you know, allowing
yourself to be in it withoutjudgment and with lots of
compassion.
And yeah, I hope that you havean incredible rest of your day.

(12:04):
I hope you have an incrediblerest of your week, and I will
talk to you soon.
Thank you for being here andtuning in to Somatic Healing for
Wellness Focused Women Podcast.
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(12:26):
their healing journey.
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(12:49):
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