Authenticity over avoidance, boundaries over burnout, and empowerment over dependency. In this raw and insightful conversation, Rae is joined by returning guest and energy healer Erin Bishop Pedone of Reiki Shores to unpack the nuanced and often-unspoken dynamics of spiritual codependency, emotional bypassing, and what true healing actually looks like.
Together, they explore how spiritual work can sometimes become a mask for avoiding discomfort and how to recognize when helping others turns into abandoning yourself. They also unpack the importance of healthy energetic boundaries, how grief and anger are sacred messengers, and why real growth requires self-trust, integrity, and occasional rupture.
Whether you’re a wellness practitioner, a spiritual seeker, or someone on a healing journey looking to reclaim your power, this episode is a grounded and heart-expanding reminder to come back home to yourself again and again.
🌿 In this episode, we explore:
- What is spiritual codependency (and how to spot it)?
- The signs of bypassing emotions in the name of being “high vibe”
- How unresolved grief and anger are sacred signals, not symptoms
- Why setting energetic and emotional boundaries is crucial for healing
- What rupture and repair can teach us about deeper relationships
- How to remain an empowered client AND an integral practitioner
- The importance of self-trust, discernment, and following your inner “ping”
🎧 Whether you’re new to energy work or years into your healing path, this conversation will give you the clarity and tools to walk your journey with more honesty, sovereignty, and soul.
Stay Connected with Erin: Follow on Instagram, Like on Facebook, Reiki Shores Website, Use code RAEDIANT to save 10% on a private session with Erin!
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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Ray.
I'm a thematic coach andbreathwork facilitator.
If you are new here, welcomeback.
I'm so glad that you'rerecording this episode.
I'm excited to bring today'sepisode.
We have our next guest speaker,Erin.
(00:21):
And yeah, I'm excited to havethis conversation with her.
We also previously recorded anepisode about a year ago.
Episode 57, if you want to goback and check that out.
And yeah, Erin for me has justbeen I'm so grateful for our
friendship and ourcollaborability to collaborate.
(00:42):
And I've also experienced herdifferent classes, energy
healing, Reiki healing withErin.
And every single time I can saythat I feel so like uplifted and
empowered after.
So that is how I feel aboutErin.
And I'll also share that she isuh the visionary behind Reiki
Shores, which is in Island Park.
(01:03):
Um, she stands at the forefrontof holistic healing as a
certified Reiki master teacher,integrated energy therapy
master, and Akashic RecordsPractitioner.
So, with a profound belief inthe innate wisdom of the soul,
Erin guides individuals towardsunlocking their healing
potential, advocating for a lifeof love, joy, and purposeful
(01:25):
health.
So I'm excited to have thisconversation.
And yeah, Erin, I would love tojust have you introduce
yourself, share with us howyou're doing today.
What's up?
SPEAKER_01 (01:35):
Thanks so much, Rachel.
That made my heart fell when yousaid that.
Um, I am so grateful for youtoo.
And I have learned a lot fromour friendship and our business
relationship as well.
So thank you for that beautifuluh introduction.
Um, today I'm feeling great.
I'm really excited for ourconversation today.
(01:56):
I've been thinking about itquite a bit.
Um and what else?
Should we just get rocking?
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Yeah, let's just dive in.
Um, yes, we wanted to have thisconversation because we saw that
there was just like a need tobring some of the stickier parts
of like healing work and energywork to the forefront.
And so one of the topics wewanted to dive into was this
concept of like codependency andspiritual codependency.
(02:24):
And so I'll share a little bitabout I think codependency, like
what it is to start.
So I did a bit of research, andso my notes say that
codependency is a relationaldynamic where one person's sense
of identity or their worth ortheir ability to emotionally
emotionally regulate becomesheavily reliant on somebody else
(02:45):
outside of themselves.
And so this can often look likeprioritizing someone else's
needs before your own.
It can look like difficultysetting or maintaining
boundaries, uh, saying yes toeverything, feeling guilty for
saying no, monitoring otherpeople's moods often and doing
whatever you can to keep thepeace.
(03:06):
Um, and it can look likedifficulty making decisions as
well because you're looking forwhat the other person might want
you to do.
Um, and this can come from, youknow, our past with family
experiences, um, where our ourroles were reversed or our needs
went unmet.
So there's a lot of reasons, youknow, why codependency in
relationships can happen.
(03:26):
Um, but yeah, I'd love to hearkind of like what what spirit or
what codependency you feel likelooks like in relationships or
spiritual codependency, likewhat how do you think that shows
up?
SPEAKER_01 (03:38):
Well, I think the thing that stood out the most to
me that you just read from thatum research that you did was
doing anything you can to keepthe peace.
And when we first come uponspirituality, um maybe it's
through meditation or you know,a healing that you had, it's a
(03:59):
very peaceful state to be in.
You're you're really slowingyour body down, you're shutting
out the outside world, and it'sbeautiful.
It's all rainbows andbutterflies.
It's a wonderful space to be in.
But that's not really why wecame here.
We came here to experience allthe levels of emotions.
(04:21):
And um, you know, a lot of timeswe're you you hear um phrases
like high vibrational energy andlow vibrational energy, and
people will do anything thatthey can to avoid, you know,
anger or fear or you know, thosethings.
Um when you do that, you'remissing a key component to your
(04:48):
mission here on earth, thereason that you came here.
And misunderstanding anger andfrustration and shame and guilt
and all of those things reallyavoids the true healing, right?
And and avoiding people who areexperiencing that emotion, like
(05:12):
that low vibrational emotion,air quotes.
Um you're not you're not umyou're not having an authentic
relationship with somebody then,because that's just a part of
light, of life, rather, right?
It's it's so you have this maskon, you have this persona, you
you know, like your wholeidentity is about rainbows and
(05:33):
butterflies.
And that's just that's just notreality.
That's you know, that's forlater when we exit this earth,
right?
SPEAKER_00 (05:42):
Right, yeah.
I think what you're speaking tois so important to name.
And yeah, I can even share fromlike my personal experience of
like learning more aboutemotional health and spiritual
health, you know, in the in thebeginning.
I really had no idea or noconcept how to deal with those
(06:02):
emotions, especially withanxiety.
That was like my my thing thatwould kind of like bubble under
the surface for me.
Um, and it was, I think, workingwith those emotions that are
stickier, like the fears and theshame and the you know,
uncertainty and grief and all ofthat, that allows you to feel at
(06:25):
more capacity to one, handlethose emotions, but two, also
show up more authenticallybecause you're just you're being
like your full, your full self.
And I was reading, um, I don'tknow why this is coming to me
now right now, but I was readinglike an article the other day
that they were saying like partof why grief feels so big and
(06:45):
like death and dying feel so bigis because it is authentic.
And in our last moments, likethere is nothing that we can we
can like hold back.
Like it's just when you'rebroken, you're broken.
Yeah.
And so um, a lot of yeah, I Ireally, I really resonate with a
lot of what you shared of justlike working with what's coming
up for you in a way that, yeah,feels safe within your capacity
(07:08):
and knowing that like it's allfeedback, it's all information.
Yeah, it doesn't make you bad orwrong for like having a big
feeling for whether it's likejealousy or envy or shame or
whatever it is, it's just makesyou human, right?
SPEAKER_01 (07:21):
And you and I I kind of feel like spirit gave us all
of those emotions to have.
So how can it be bad, right?
Now, listen, you can you cancross lines and you can cross
boundaries and you can have youknow irresponsible anger out on
somebody.
So, like that's not what we'retalking about.
We're talking about like healthyways of expressing it.
Yeah.
Um and oh, you just saidsomething, darn it, and I lost
(07:45):
it.
All right, we'll go back toit'll it'll come back to me if
it was important.
SPEAKER_00 (07:49):
Yeah, you were saying that.
Well, I well, I like what likeyou also just said about like
we're not talking about theappropriate form of
dysregulation.
Right.
Like I I like to use theexample, and I think you'll
appreciate this.
Like, I have this memory of umwhen I was like growing up, you
know, it must have been likemiddle school or high school,
and my mom is like so, or my momis like the sweetest person.
(08:13):
She's like, like my compassiongot it from my mom.
And so I'm playing outside withmy friends, and there was like a
guy, a man who lived in a housediagonally across from where I
lived, and we're all playingoutside, and something happens,
my friend does something, andthe man, like this grown man,
like adult man, comes runningout of the house to like rough
up, rough up my friend.
(08:33):
Like it wasn't even me, it waslike my friend.
And my mom is at the window orat the door, coincidentally,
while this is happening.
My mom beelines, she beelines sofast out of the house that I
think we were all more scared ofher than we were of the man that
was like gonna rob.
Mama Bear came out, mama cameout, there came out, and she
(08:54):
didn't not come to play.
And I like to share that storybecause my mom is, yeah, super
compassionate, super kind, butthat was the most appropriate
form of disregard dysregulationfor event.
Yeah, we're talking protection,we're talking healthy rage,
anger.
And so when we do all this likehealing work and we get really
into it, I feel like it's yeah,it's like getting comf, like
(09:17):
getting comfortable with yeah,being uncomfortable.
Being uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_01 (09:20):
And I think like I it came back to me the um what I
what I lost before, that youknow, we we I think we're all
susceptible to spiritualcodependency, or where a lot of
times people say spiritualbypassing, like where you're do,
where you're just avoiding theheaviness.
I I think we all do it and havedone it at some point.
(09:42):
I think it's sometimessubconscious, you don't even
realize, like you just don'teven know what you don't know
just yet.
But the other piece is likeyou're just protecting yourself.
Like these, like you saidbefore, these are big feelings.
They're they're they're notpleasant.
Nobody's saying that you have tolike the anger or the fear or
the shame, the guilt, whateverit is.
(10:03):
So we're just trying to protectourselves.
And so it's okay if we do it.
You just have to have theself-awareness that you are
doing it and just come from aplace of compassion.
Like it's not bad that you'veyou've done it, right?
Yeah, don't feel bad that you'vedone it, but just be like, okay,
this is what I'm doing.
You kind of have to callyourself out on your own BS
sometimes, you know?
(10:24):
And that's not an easy thing todo.
Nobody likes that.
Nobody likes doing that.
SPEAKER_00 (10:29):
Yes, so true.
It can be super uncomfortableand like we've all been there
and we're all just like puttingone foot in front of the other
trying to make sense of likethis earth experience.
SPEAKER_01 (10:40):
Yes, it's chaos here.
It is absolute chaos here.
I know.
But it's such a beautiful giftthat we have.
And I think when we when werecognize anger and um things uh
like things like that, it's it'sreally it's really a tool to
say, okay, something's notright.
(11:02):
And something like how can wefix this?
Or fix is probably not reallythe the word to use, but how can
we gotta look at this?
If I'm feeling anger, why am Ifeeling anger?
There's a root cause.
These are the root causeemotions that we want to get to.
And we can't just feel it by,you know, we can't just make it
better by avoiding it.
(11:24):
I think that's the whole point.
Because if you're if you'reavoiding something, you're
really never learning and you'rereally never getting to that
that higher level that we're allstriving for, that evolution
that we're all like looking for.
SPEAKER_00 (11:36):
Yes.
Yeah, I love that.
And ultimately when you when youdo end up making that choice to
like work with what's coming upfor you, whether it's anger or
you know, whatever it might be,on the other side of it is like
more wholeness, really, morecompassion, more understanding
of yourself, um, maybe more, youknow, patience with yourself.
(11:57):
Um, because we don't know whatwe don't know.
And if something keeps coming upfor you, like anger, for
example, then yeah, it'sinformation, it's insight, it's
an opportunity to grow.
And yeah, we're all just likediscovering.
Yeah.
And it's just takingaccountability, right?
SPEAKER_01 (12:14):
It's like anytime that I I'm gonna use my daughter
as an example, like anytime thatwe, she's out of her teen years
now, but the teen years weretough.
They were really, really rough.
And we would have these blowoutsbetween each other.
And we had um we had helpgetting through them.
We had a therapist who was likehelping us.
(12:36):
We couldn't hear each other.
We were both so angry.
And at the at the end of theday, the anger was a one of us
wasn't feeling heard, and it wasout of, I love you so much, I
can't believe you're not hearingme.
And then when the other personactually sat and heard what was
(12:57):
being said, we got to the otherside of it and I understood her
more.
She understood me more, and wewere able to just come to the
other side of it and have thisdeeper connection on a
connection that was alreadyreally deep, you know.
So now, you know, now that she's20, you know, pushing 21 and
(13:21):
she's this adult now, I get tolet her go out and without fear,
having her make mistakes, havingher, you know, all the all the
anger that I got was like tryingto keep her like in this safe
little bubble in the teen years.
But now I understand why, whyshe was doing things the way she
was doing, why she was quoteunquote making me angry or
(13:44):
disobeying me, or you know,things like that.
Now that she is in this adultworld, we both have confidence
in each other and in her.
She she me uh me going throughthis with her gave her
confidence in herself.
And and it's I I don't think ifwe avoided those conversations,
(14:06):
those things wouldn't have beenhealed and understood more about
the other person.
Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_00 (14:11):
Makes perfect sense.
And I think what you're speakingto is like so powerful, and what
I'm sure a lot of people canrelate to, especially with
family relationships, becausethey are so deep and you are so
connected, and you're talkingmother-daughter, which is like
special in its own um self.
But yeah, being able to go tothose more nuanced places in a
(14:32):
relationship with someone, likerupture and repair, and being
able to have a you know, ablowout fight and and work
through it together.
I mean, your relationship's onlygonna get deeper and stronger.
And I don't even think I knewwhat rupture was and repair was
until like I was in my upper20s.
I was like, wait, there's anoption for it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:53):
I think I was a lot older when I when I learned
about that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:57):
Yeah.
And I think that um I'm sureit's just yeah, something that
your daughter's gonna be able tocarry with her into like her,
you know, relationships andfriendships and everything,
which is like pretty awesome.
SPEAKER_01 (15:08):
That's the goal, yeah.
But I think the the rupturepiece, I think people are so
afraid that it's gonna be sobroken that there's no way, you
know, where we can possibly fixit.
And so what they're trying to dois so desperately hold a system
together that just isn't workinganymore.
And if you just let it happen,let this explosion happen, it's
(15:33):
the best thing that you couldpossibly do.
Let the world fall apart.
It always reminds me of thetower card in in tarot.
Tower card in in tarot.
Um it's everything that you'vebuilt.
And then an act, it's likethere's a a lightning bolt
that's like um about to hit thistower that you built.
(15:57):
And it's the lightning is like arepresenting an act of God, and
it's horrible.
Like it could be a big towermoment or a little bit of the
tower moment, but like if youtry and void and and hold that
tower together, it's it's gonnacome tumbling down.
But if you just step back, letthe chaos happen, what you can
rebuild from the foundation isis you know bigger and stronger
(16:21):
and better, and exactly what Godintended for you.
SPEAKER_00 (16:24):
Yeah, oh my goodness.
Yeah, so it's yeah, definitelychallenging to let it all fall
apart.
Oh, it's so scary.
It's pretty terrifying.
SPEAKER_01 (16:33):
It's a big it's it really tests your faith in in
just being it's but it it itkeeps you in the moment too.
Like if you just surrender tothat, that fear, that terrifying
fear, it really just keeps youin the moment.
And that's the point of thiswhole path, this spiritual path
(16:55):
that we've decided to go down iskeeping you present in the
moment, keeping you connected.
And if you're in the momentavoiding, then you're not in the
moment, right?
SPEAKER_00 (17:10):
Right.
Yeah, it's true.
SPEAKER_01 (17:12):
It's uh yeah, it's just reminding me of like, I
guess how I got on this path,and like, you know, we all be on
this path generally speaking,because it was going good for
us, right?
Like it's usually every healer,every coach, every therapist was
like, well, that was a doozy.
unknown (17:33):
You know.
SPEAKER_01 (17:35):
Yep, that's what I'm thinking about right now.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, we all had that doozymoment.
SPEAKER_00 (17:41):
Do we want to touch a little bit on spiritual
codependency and dive into thata little bit more?
Yeah.
Okay, so I do have for my notes,uh, my research, um, a bit of a
definition here.
Spiritual codependency is whenspiritual practices, teachings,
or relationships are used tosubstitute your sense of
(18:03):
self-trust or your personalpower or your inner authority.
So instead of fostering like asense of empowerment, the path
becomes another avenue for, likeyou mentioned, spiritual
bypassing or dependency.
And so this can look likeoutsourcing your wisdom to a
teacher or a healer or somemodality rather than cultivating
(18:27):
your own inner knowing, um,using spirituality as a way to
avoid difficult emotions orhuman needs, which we touched a
little bit on, but we can chatmore about.
Um, mistaking constant uh formsof like self-sacrifice as a form
of spiritual growth, uh,believing that there are bad and
(18:48):
low vibe or not spiritual enoughuh moments if they're you know
enforcing boundaries or doingsomething that you don't like,
feeling shame when strugglingwith human emotions, like we
mentioned, like grief or angeror jealousy, because you should
be like more spiritual or moreevolved, or you shouldn't feel
these feelings anymore.
Um, and confusing peoplepleasing with compassion or
(19:12):
service.
So that was a mouthful.
SPEAKER_01 (19:14):
Yeah.
So something that's popping out,the biggest, and I know that you
and I share this um belief andare very verbal with our
clients, is that when you have aclient who is singing your
praises and giving you all ofthe um what's the word?
(19:39):
Not accolades, but like givingyou all the um credit for the
all the work that they did.
Like I I'll hear like you'reamazing, you you your energy,
your energy, your energy, yourenergy.
First of all, it's not myenergy.
I am just a vessel.
I am channeling energy from thedivine.
(19:59):
I am just really good at gettingyou to relax and get and staying
connected with you.
So the healing that is flowingthrough me is coming from
source.
So I didn't do anything to heal,okay?
In the the actual healing uhtook place uh within my client,
(20:19):
right?
They opened up to the healing,they opened up to receive this
unconditional love.
But it feels really good to getall of this praise.
It feels really, really good.
So I think you know, you canvery easily give all the credit
to the healer, but also as thehealer, take all the credit.
(20:41):
Like you have to be superhumble.
It's both sides, right?
You have to be super humble asthe healer, and you have to be
really um empowered as thereceiver, as the client on the
other end to know that you didall of this work.
You opened up to it.
It's not somebody else,somebody, nobody handed it to
(21:04):
you.
You you took it and you ran forit, ran with it.
SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that.
And yeah, I agree.
I think it's something that weboth talk about a lot in our
work.
And um yeah, I think it'simportant to name it and just
talk about that.
Like, yeah, you have the abilitywithin yourself to give yourself
what you need to find thathealing, to release, to let go,
you know, whatever the antidoteis that you need in that moment.
(21:28):
Like you do have that withinyourself.
So yeah, I think that's like oneside of it.
And I, yeah, it's interesting toalso talk about the other side
as the practitioner, as like,because there are a lot of
people on the podcast too thatare practitioners that listen to
the podcast that arepractitioners or healers or
therapists.
And um, yeah, like staying,yeah, like grounded and
connected to like who you are asa person and knowing that it's
(21:52):
it's your craft, it's your work,but it's not necessarily like
who you are.
Yes, it's a part of youridentity, but it's not, it's not
the thing.
Yeah.
And so, like really stayinggrounded in your practices and
like you said, being humble andknowing that, like being
integral with your work really.
SPEAKER_01 (22:08):
Yes.
Yes, really the integrity pieceis a is a big part of it because
when you think about it, likewhat we our goal is for our
clients to not come to us everysingle week for the rest of
their lives, right?
So it's not the best businessmodel when you think about it,
right?
So I think sometimes spiritualcodependency can be very
manipulative and like making,you know, you want to make sure
(22:31):
that your your clients feelreally empowered and you're
gonna lose them at one point orfor maybe a period of time and
then they come back later on asthey evolve too, you know,
because we want, I always tellmy clients also like you
shouldn't just stick, Ishouldn't be the only healer in
your life.
You should have like there's somany different modalities, and
you never know what a personreally needs, right?
(22:55):
Like you might come to me onetime and I say, you know what, I
really think you need breathwork with Rachel.
I don't do that.
Let me refer her, refer you toher.
That client might never comeback to me because what they
need is the breath work, butthat was my job.
That was it, right?
So I can't manipulate them tocome back.
So, but I trust that anotherclient is gonna come in its
(23:18):
place.
SPEAKER_00 (23:18):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
Yeah, and sometimes like likeI've done that many times too,
where um I am referring out or Itry and like stay in my lane.
And that I think is is reallynice because it always does come
back around.
Oh, yeah.
It always comes back around.
Always.
Whether it's a referral youreceive or um you you run into
(23:39):
that person, they're so gratefulthat like they you know
discovered this thing.
And it's not like it's not aboutus.
SPEAKER_01 (23:44):
No, it's not about us.
Yeah, it's not about us at all.
SPEAKER_00 (23:49):
Yeah, so one topic that I think we're speaking to
in various ways with what we'vetalked about already is this
idea of boundaries.
And I'll share a little bitabout what boundaries are.
So boundaries are the physical,emotional, energetic, and
relational limits that we set toprotect our well-being, to honor
(24:10):
our needs, and define where weend and others begin.
So they can also be theseinvisible edges, quote unquote,
that communicate what we areavailable for and what we are
not available for.
And so boundaries can show up inour physical space, like uh, you
know, touch, physical touch,privacy, emotional space, you
(24:33):
know, how much of others, otherfeelings we take on, or how we
share our own feelings, ourmental boundaries, so protecting
our thoughts, our values andbeliefs, our energetic
boundaries, so regulating howmuch our energy is given or
taken away, or who we share ourenergy with.
And then, you know, timeboundaries, you know, limits
(24:54):
around availability orcommitments or work-life
balance.
And so boundaries can show up,you know, in a few different
ways.
If they're feeling like blurryor absent or unclear, you can
show up feeling uh resentful,drained, taken advantage of,
saying yes when you want to sayno, taking on other people's
(25:14):
emotions, um, struggling andoverextending ourselves in work
or relationships or with ourfriends.
And when boundaries are maybelooking more like healthy or
more landed, it can look like umsaying no or uh not
over-explaining ourselves,feeling safe and respected in
our relationships, um havingmore energy and presence for
(25:37):
people, uh, making decisionsthat are aligned with our values
and engaging in relationshipsthat feel balanced and like
there's a reciprocal energygoing on.
Not as boundaries.
SPEAKER_01 (25:48):
Boundaries are a big topic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:52):
Yeah, it's definitely layered.
Um, and I can see how, you know,when it comes to codependency in
relationships or spiritually,that having healthy boundaries
can really serve us.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (26:06):
Um, I think it kind of goes back to um something you
said in the beginning of likespirituality doesn't is is
something that we do and it'ssomething that we practice and
it's something that we bringinto our healing, right?
Um, but it's not everything thatwe are.
And it it is, it doesn't, wedon't have to shove this down
(26:27):
anybody's throat, right?
Like that's like a a big no-no.
And if one one thing that I doin my practice a lot is like,
you know, I channel messages asI'm I'm giving a healing, and I
always say to the person, like,you know, they kind of go home
with like quote unquotehomework.
Um, but if something doesn'tresonate with you, then like
(26:50):
don't don't do it.
Like so, so I feel like you youjust have to, just because I
said it, you know, doesn't meanyou have to do something if it
doesn't feel right to you,because it's we were in a
spiritual moment.
Sometimes time has to justunfold for it to to get done or
for you to approach the the uhthe homework, so to speak, or
(27:13):
you just don't ever do it,right?
But you're the you're theultimate authority in all of
that.
SPEAKER_00 (27:18):
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, I think what you'respeaking to is like autonomy,
like having your autonomy andhaving your choice in yeah, what
you do and what homework you dodo or what lands.
I always say, yeah, like takewhat lands, leave what doesn't.
Yeah.
Um, and you know, I think itthat having that foundation
(27:40):
empowers the individual to takeon what does land for them and
find their yeah, find their ownpath and you know, keep going in
a way that resonates with them.
SPEAKER_01 (27:51):
Yes.
And I think too, like sometimeswith it all always being like
making sure that this isn't allthe only thing that we do, the
only like spirituality andhealing and all that isn't the
only thing that we're it's notour whole identity.
That's where I couldn't find thewords.
Sometimes you just also have toknow your audience and who
(28:11):
you're speaking to.
Like at 16, with me talkingabout like, you know, me
connecting with the angelicrealm, I daughter really didn't
care.
I wasn't gonna connect with herthat way, you know?
So you just have to know who tospeak about this with and you
know, and how you speak aboutit, and um allowing other people
(28:32):
to have their own views and andbeliefs as well, because none of
us are wrong.
It's just this is how I found myway.
Doesn't mean somebody else's wayis wrong, it works for them, if
that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00 (28:47):
Yeah, I think that makes perfect sense.
Um yeah, it's like reallybecoming aware of what lands for
you, how it feels in your body,how you know it feels in your
mind, um, what does resonate,and continuing what I like to
say like follow the ping is whatI call it.
(29:08):
Like we all have this inner,inner feeling, inner ping, inner
knowing.
And if something is standing outto you, something you're curious
about, or something you want totry, or whatever that might be,
like follow it.
Like follow the ping, likewhatever that is.
And it's so fun to see whathappens on the other side.
(29:29):
And it's it's one form for me,um, one way that I like to like
get back into alignment.
If I feel like I'm out ofalignment, like follow the ping.
And then I usually end up withlike some like synchronistic
story, and I'm like, oh my god,you won't believe what happened
the other day at the store, likeda da da.
And it's like because you followthe ping, you follow uh the
knowing, the the push, whateverthat might be.
(29:51):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (29:53):
And I think sometimes too, like people get
this idea that you have to um.
Live a certain lifestyle or livelike dress a certain way or you
know use certain words for youto for this to be your path.
Like I would never eat dairy, Iwould never eat meat, I would
(30:13):
never, I would never havealcohol, I would never know,
like some of the most connectedpeople I know smoke like a
chimley.
They don't they don't have likethe health, they're not worried
about anything being organic.
And that just that works forthem.
That resonates with them.
It doesn't make them notconnected to something, to
their, their, their, you know,their their spiritual path.
(30:37):
It's it it just it's like thesilliest thing.
SPEAKER_00 (30:40):
I love that you're I love that you're saying this.
And it's it's so funny.
Um, yeah, there's so yeah, Imean, there's definitely just
like so much pressure for thingsto like be a certain way or look
a certain way.
SPEAKER_01 (30:51):
Look a certain way, especially on Instagram and
stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00 (30:54):
It's just like And we can chat more about that too.
SPEAKER_01 (30:57):
Yeah, that's probably a whole other topic,
Rick.
SPEAKER_00 (31:00):
I think what you're speaking to is uh authenticity.
Yeah.
I think what's refreshing aboutum, yeah, a lot of like what, or
at least I guess maybe I'mspeaking for myself, but um was
what resonates with me isauthenticity.
And when can someone someone canjust show up and like just be
their true self?
And ain't nothing wrong withthat.
(31:20):
Ice cream solves a lot.
unknown (31:22):
It does.
SPEAKER_00 (31:24):
It does.
I love it.
Um, one other topic that we hadto that we wanted to discuss was
how sometimes there's this funnything that can happen with
spirituality where we kind ofuse it to maybe like mask what
we're feeling or mask ourbehavior.
So we kind of touched on it withspiritual bypassing, but um
(31:46):
yeah, maybe like elaborating alittle bit more on like what
that could look like or how thatshows up for us.
SPEAKER_01 (31:51):
Yeah, I think it's like an accountability thing and
and like just using like I I seeit a lot with people manifesting
things, like I manifested, youknow, something amazing in my
into my life.
And like really what happenedwas there was a little bit of a
path of destruction, and youkind of like cheated your way to
this gift that came into yourlife.
(32:12):
And making, I think the biggestthing is like when you're doing
something, when you'remanifesting with integrity,
you're doing any kind ofspiritual work or spell work or
whatever it is that you do,you're doing it for the highest
and greatest good.
And that's not only for you, buteveryone connected to you, for
your family, for your friends,with the within the people that
(32:32):
you did business with, if it waslike, you know, a purchase or
something like that.
You have to make sure thatyou're manifesting from a pure
place, the highest integrity.
Um I think sometimes you seesomeone kind of spiraling out of
control with their life.
(32:57):
And to avoid looking at that, atthe mess that they're making,
they they they jump into this.
Well, I'm just you know,rainbows and butterflies, as we
said in the beginning right now,and I'm avoiding it.
And I didn't, you know, I I'mnot gonna look at the chaos that
I cause.
Um I wanna say, I think that youcan people, some people are
(33:19):
really good at tricking othersinto into seeing what they're
trying to showcase, right?
Some people are really good attricking themselves, but at the
end of the day, you cannot trickGod, the universe, whatever your
word is, the divine source.
You can't trick source.
So in some way, like, and we wedeal with karma and dharma,
(33:44):
right?
In some way, this is going toget mirrored back to you, and
it'll happen in little ways forspirit to be like, okay, let's
look at this.
You know, this is like a littlebit of a damage that was caused.
We can clean this up, like spiltmilk kind of thing.
And if you're not getting thelesson, it's gonna come back to
(34:04):
you pretty, prettydestructively.
And I, you know, not saying thatto scare somebody, but like, you
know, it starts as like a littletap on the shoulder, hey, you
may want to pay attention, andthen it becomes like a full-on
grabbing of the shoulder,shaking you to wake up.
So yeah, justifying your chaoswith spirituality is never gonna
(34:26):
work.
SPEAKER_00 (34:27):
Yeah, you know, I think what you're speaking to
makes a lot of sense, and youknow, it it happens so fast that
sometimes we don't like even seethat it's happening, but there's
yeah, patterns that will show upand signs that will show up.
And it's tough when that happensand it's like you have to see it
first, right?
Like you need your awarenessthere to see it first.
SPEAKER_01 (34:48):
Um or believe the people who are pointing it out
to you, too.
Right.
Me, you know, like really tryhaving like faith, you know, you
don't want people who are justlike yesing you to death just
to, you know, that's again likerelationships that are not
healthy, those, you know, thatthat people are that are not
being truthful with you, youknow.
(35:09):
So you you gotta you gottareally surround yourself with
people that are like honest andopen and that you trust.
And they're they're seeing theyou know, they're pointing these
things out because they loveyou.
SPEAKER_00 (35:21):
Yeah, yeah.
I love that.
Yeah, it kind of goes back tolike that rupture and repair and
like boundaries showing up likehonestly, honoring your yes or
your no.
Um, definitely touches on likethe codependency and like in in
multiple forms.
Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:39):
It's such a big topic.
I feel like we could do likethree or four more of these
because it's just it's it's it'sbig and it's it's kind of
everywhere.
And it's always you always haveto just have your own
self-awareness with this becauseI think we're all susceptible.
I don't care how evolved you areon this planet, I think you can
easily fall back into you knowbad habits.
SPEAKER_00 (36:03):
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
I think it's tough to uh this iskind of like a tangent, but I
think sometimes like uh we canput other people on like a
pedestal of some sort.
And then when something goesawry and they fall from that
pedestal, um, it's not great.
It's not a good feeling foreither involved.
(36:24):
And what gets us there usuallyis something around boundaries
or authenticity or expressingyourself, you know,
authentically or whatever thatlooks like.
And so um, yeah, like havingthat awareness and and working
and continuing to, yeah, like dothat self-inquiry and
self-awareness work.
Well, I've loved having thisconversation with you.
(36:45):
This was so interesting.
It was so cool to see all thedifferent areas that we dove
into.
Uh, I do have one more question,but before I ask that, um, how
can people stay connected withyou?
And I'll also put yourinformation in the show notes.
SPEAKER_01 (36:58):
Yeah, so I'm on Instagram and Facebook.
Um, on Instagram, I'm at ReikiShores.
My website is rakyshores.com.
Um email rakyshoresenergyhealingat gmail.com.
Um, I would love for you toreach out to me um and and see
what I have to offer.
(37:18):
I love to collaborate withpeople.
I I love to just meet new peoplein this spiritual community.
I think we need healers, we needeach other.
Um, it's it's this couldprobably be like another topic
of conversation, but like thisis you know, a growing field.
I think it's becoming moremainstream.
(37:39):
And I think that having otherhealers in your life that have
businesses and um finding youryour um your people in this
business is really important.
Um and finding people that areof high integrity in this
business is really important.
(37:59):
That could be like a whole otherconversation because there's
plenty that are not.
But um, yeah, I I I would lovefor people to reach out to me.
I love connecting.
SPEAKER_00 (38:08):
Amazing.
Yeah, I'll definitely put youryour info in the show notes.
And yeah, to build off of onething that you mentioned, um,
yeah, Erin creates beautifulcommunity.
I've met so many uh peoplethrough Erin, uh, personal and
professional.
And so yeah, reach out to her,stay connected with her.
Thank you.
Um, she's doing all sorts ofcool stuff.
(38:29):
Um, yeah, and the last questionI always ask uh our guests,
which I actually forgot to askyou in our last episode.
So I'm so happy that we attackyou today now, is um what is one
thing right now in this seasonof your life that is really
lighting you up?
So this could be anything.
This could be a book, a teacher,an artist, a song, a show on
(38:50):
Netflix.
It could be anything.
Something that's really lightingyou up, inspiring you.
SPEAKER_01 (38:56):
It's I don't think it's a certain um, like I would,
I'm not gonna point out like aperson or or anything.
I don't think it's anything likethat.
I think I'm just um uhexperiencing the joy of um the
fruits of my labor at thispoint.
I think I've done a lot of I Ithink I'm enjoying the evidence
(39:20):
of my hard work, right?
And I think I'm enjoying, I'mI'm seeing a lot of my clients
that have been coming to me foryears um in this place.
Like they've shifted to theother side of things.
It's happening a lot, and I'mjust like I'm just I'm enjoying
(39:43):
the evidence of that.
Like I knew it was where like myfaith has always been there, but
I'm like, I knew it.
And we need as humans, I thinkwe just need to see the evidence
of the other side of that too.
So I I I feel like I'm seeing abig shift um in my own personal
life, but also in the collectiveof like, okay, we've we've put
(40:04):
we've put these practices to towork for like a number of years.
Like I feel like the year 2006,2007 is like when this started
to become a little bit moremainstream.
And so, you know, that's a longtime.
It's almost 2026.
So, like you're talking like 20years of like this really
becoming a practice for for alot of people, for mainstream
(40:27):
people.
And um, I'm just I'm justfinding joy in that.
That's that's what's inspiringme to just keep going and
evolving and diving deeper.
SPEAKER_00 (40:37):
I love that.
Yeah, amazing, amazing.
Um okay, great.
Well, thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01 (40:44):
Thank you.
I loved being uh in thisconversation with you, Rachel.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00 (40:48):
Thank you for being here and tuning in to cinematic
healing for wellness focusedwomen podcast.
If you were moved or inspired bytoday's episode, please take a
moment to leave a rating andreview on Apple Podcasts.
It truly helps the podcast growand helps more people find me on
their film journey.
Make sure to check out the shownotes to sign up for the monthly
(41:10):
newsletter, links to ourresources, opportunities to work
with me, and ways that we canstay connected.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram to follow me atReadyThis Sematic Coast.
Send me a DM.
I'd love to connect with you,and I answer each note that
comes in.
I am so happy you're here, and Icannot wait to talk with you on
(41:33):
our next episode of the podcast.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Ray.
I'm a thematic coach andbreathwork facilitator.
If you are new here, welcomeback.
I'm so glad that you'rerecording this episode.
I'm excited to bring today'sepisode.
We have our next guest speaker,Erin.
(00:21):
And yeah, I'm excited to havethis conversation with her.
We also previously recorded anepisode about a year ago.
Episode 57, if you want to goback and check that out.
And yeah, Erin for me has justbeen I'm so grateful for our
friendship and ourcollaborability to collaborate.
(00:42):
And I've also experienced herdifferent classes, energy
healing, Reiki healing withErin.
And every single time I can saythat I feel so like uplifted and
empowered after.
So that is how I feel aboutErin.
And I'll also share that she isuh the visionary behind Reiki
Shores, which is in Island Park.
(01:03):
Um, she stands at the forefrontof holistic healing as a
certified Reiki master teacher,integrated energy therapy
master, and Akashic RecordsPractitioner.
So, with a profound belief inthe innate wisdom of the soul,
Erin guides individuals towardsunlocking their healing
potential, advocating for a lifeof love, joy, and purposeful
(01:25):
health.
So I'm excited to have thisconversation.
And yeah, Erin, I would love tojust have you introduce
yourself, share with us howyou're doing today.
What's up?
SPEAKER_01 (01:35):
Thanks so much, Rachel.
That made my heart fell when yousaid that.
Um, I am so grateful for youtoo.
And I have learned a lot fromour friendship and our business
relationship as well.
So thank you for that beautifuluh introduction.
Um, today I'm feeling great.
I'm really excited for ourconversation today.
(01:56):
I've been thinking about itquite a bit.
Um and what else?
Should we just get rocking?
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Yeah, let's just dive in.
Um, yes, we wanted to have thisconversation because we saw that
there was just like a need tobring some of the stickier parts
of like healing work and energywork to the forefront.
And so one of the topics wewanted to dive into was this
concept of like codependency andspiritual codependency.
(02:24):
And so I'll share a little bitabout I think codependency, like
what it is to start.
So I did a bit of research, andso my notes say that
codependency is a relationaldynamic where one person's sense
of identity or their worth ortheir ability to emotionally
emotionally regulate becomesheavily reliant on somebody else
(02:45):
outside of themselves.
And so this can often look likeprioritizing someone else's
needs before your own.
It can look like difficultysetting or maintaining
boundaries, uh, saying yes toeverything, feeling guilty for
saying no, monitoring otherpeople's moods often and doing
whatever you can to keep thepeace.
(03:06):
Um, and it can look likedifficulty making decisions as
well because you're looking forwhat the other person might want
you to do.
Um, and this can come from, youknow, our past with family
experiences, um, where our ourroles were reversed or our needs
went unmet.
So there's a lot of reasons, youknow, why codependency in
relationships can happen.
(03:26):
Um, but yeah, I'd love to hearkind of like what what spirit or
what codependency you feel likelooks like in relationships or
spiritual codependency, likewhat how do you think that shows
up?
SPEAKER_01 (03:38):
Well, I think the thing that stood out the most to
me that you just read from thatum research that you did was
doing anything you can to keepthe peace.
And when we first come uponspirituality, um maybe it's
through meditation or you know,a healing that you had, it's a
(03:59):
very peaceful state to be in.
You're you're really slowingyour body down, you're shutting
out the outside world, and it'sbeautiful.
It's all rainbows andbutterflies.
It's a wonderful space to be in.
But that's not really why wecame here.
We came here to experience allthe levels of emotions.
(04:21):
And um, you know, a lot of timeswe're you you hear um phrases
like high vibrational energy andlow vibrational energy, and
people will do anything thatthey can to avoid, you know,
anger or fear or you know, thosethings.
Um when you do that, you'remissing a key component to your
(04:48):
mission here on earth, thereason that you came here.
And misunderstanding anger andfrustration and shame and guilt
and all of those things reallyavoids the true healing, right?
And and avoiding people who areexperiencing that emotion, like
(05:12):
that low vibrational emotion,air quotes.
Um you're not you're not umyou're not having an authentic
relationship with somebody then,because that's just a part of
light, of life, rather, right?
It's it's so you have this maskon, you have this persona, you
you know, like your wholeidentity is about rainbows and
(05:33):
butterflies.
And that's just that's just notreality.
That's you know, that's forlater when we exit this earth,
right?
SPEAKER_00 (05:42):
Right, yeah.
I think what you're speaking tois so important to name.
And yeah, I can even share fromlike my personal experience of
like learning more aboutemotional health and spiritual
health, you know, in the in thebeginning.
I really had no idea or noconcept how to deal with those
(06:02):
emotions, especially withanxiety.
That was like my my thing thatwould kind of like bubble under
the surface for me.
Um, and it was, I think, workingwith those emotions that are
stickier, like the fears and theshame and the you know,
uncertainty and grief and all ofthat, that allows you to feel at
(06:25):
more capacity to one, handlethose emotions, but two, also
show up more authenticallybecause you're just you're being
like your full, your full self.
And I was reading, um, I don'tknow why this is coming to me
now right now, but I was readinglike an article the other day
that they were saying like partof why grief feels so big and
(06:45):
like death and dying feel so bigis because it is authentic.
And in our last moments, likethere is nothing that we can we
can like hold back.
Like it's just when you'rebroken, you're broken.
Yeah.
And so um, a lot of yeah, I Ireally, I really resonate with a
lot of what you shared of justlike working with what's coming
up for you in a way that, yeah,feels safe within your capacity
(07:08):
and knowing that like it's allfeedback, it's all information.
Yeah, it doesn't make you bad orwrong for like having a big
feeling for whether it's likejealousy or envy or shame or
whatever it is, it's just makesyou human, right?
SPEAKER_01 (07:21):
And you and I I kind of feel like spirit gave us all
of those emotions to have.
So how can it be bad, right?
Now, listen, you can you cancross lines and you can cross
boundaries and you can have youknow irresponsible anger out on
somebody.
So, like that's not what we'retalking about.
We're talking about like healthyways of expressing it.
Yeah.
Um and oh, you just saidsomething, darn it, and I lost
(07:45):
it.
All right, we'll go back toit'll it'll come back to me if
it was important.
SPEAKER_00 (07:49):
Yeah, you were saying that.
Well, I well, I like what likeyou also just said about like
we're not talking about theappropriate form of
dysregulation.
Right.
Like I I like to use theexample, and I think you'll
appreciate this.
Like, I have this memory of umwhen I was like growing up, you
know, it must have been likemiddle school or high school,
and my mom is like so, or my momis like the sweetest person.
(08:13):
She's like, like my compassiongot it from my mom.
And so I'm playing outside withmy friends, and there was like a
guy, a man who lived in a housediagonally across from where I
lived, and we're all playingoutside, and something happens,
my friend does something, andthe man, like this grown man,
like adult man, comes runningout of the house to like rough
up, rough up my friend.
(08:33):
Like it wasn't even me, it waslike my friend.
And my mom is at the window orat the door, coincidentally,
while this is happening.
My mom beelines, she beelines sofast out of the house that I
think we were all more scared ofher than we were of the man that
was like gonna rob.
Mama Bear came out, mama cameout, there came out, and she
(08:54):
didn't not come to play.
And I like to share that storybecause my mom is, yeah, super
compassionate, super kind, butthat was the most appropriate
form of disregard dysregulationfor event.
Yeah, we're talking protection,we're talking healthy rage,
anger.
And so when we do all this likehealing work and we get really
into it, I feel like it's yeah,it's like getting comf, like
(09:17):
getting comfortable with yeah,being uncomfortable.
Being uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_01 (09:20):
And I think like I it came back to me the um what I
what I lost before, that youknow, we we I think we're all
susceptible to spiritualcodependency, or where a lot of
times people say spiritualbypassing, like where you're do,
where you're just avoiding theheaviness.
I I think we all do it and havedone it at some point.
(09:42):
I think it's sometimessubconscious, you don't even
realize, like you just don'teven know what you don't know
just yet.
But the other piece is likeyou're just protecting yourself.
Like these, like you saidbefore, these are big feelings.
They're they're they're notpleasant.
Nobody's saying that you have tolike the anger or the fear or
the shame, the guilt, whateverit is.
(10:03):
So we're just trying to protectourselves.
And so it's okay if we do it.
You just have to have theself-awareness that you are
doing it and just come from aplace of compassion.
Like it's not bad that you'veyou've done it, right?
Yeah, don't feel bad that you'vedone it, but just be like, okay,
this is what I'm doing.
You kind of have to callyourself out on your own BS
sometimes, you know?
(10:24):
And that's not an easy thing todo.
Nobody likes that.
Nobody likes doing that.
SPEAKER_00 (10:29):
Yes, so true.
It can be super uncomfortableand like we've all been there
and we're all just like puttingone foot in front of the other
trying to make sense of likethis earth experience.
SPEAKER_01 (10:40):
Yes, it's chaos here.
It is absolute chaos here.
I know.
But it's such a beautiful giftthat we have.
And I think when we when werecognize anger and um things uh
like things like that, it's it'sreally it's really a tool to
say, okay, something's notright.
(11:02):
And something like how can wefix this?
Or fix is probably not reallythe the word to use, but how can
we gotta look at this?
If I'm feeling anger, why am Ifeeling anger?
There's a root cause.
These are the root causeemotions that we want to get to.
And we can't just feel it by,you know, we can't just make it
better by avoiding it.
(11:24):
I think that's the whole point.
Because if you're if you'reavoiding something, you're
really never learning and you'rereally never getting to that
that higher level that we're allstriving for, that evolution
that we're all like looking for.
SPEAKER_00 (11:36):
Yes.
Yeah, I love that.
And ultimately when you when youdo end up making that choice to
like work with what's coming upfor you, whether it's anger or
you know, whatever it might be,on the other side of it is like
more wholeness, really, morecompassion, more understanding
of yourself, um, maybe more, youknow, patience with yourself.
(11:57):
Um, because we don't know whatwe don't know.
And if something keeps coming upfor you, like anger, for
example, then yeah, it'sinformation, it's insight, it's
an opportunity to grow.
And yeah, we're all just likediscovering.
Yeah.
And it's just takingaccountability, right?
SPEAKER_01 (12:14):
It's like anytime that I I'm gonna use my daughter
as an example, like anytime thatwe, she's out of her teen years
now, but the teen years weretough.
They were really, really rough.
And we would have these blowoutsbetween each other.
And we had um we had helpgetting through them.
We had a therapist who was likehelping us.
(12:36):
We couldn't hear each other.
We were both so angry.
And at the at the end of theday, the anger was a one of us
wasn't feeling heard, and it wasout of, I love you so much, I
can't believe you're not hearingme.
And then when the other personactually sat and heard what was
(12:57):
being said, we got to the otherside of it and I understood her
more.
She understood me more, and wewere able to just come to the
other side of it and have thisdeeper connection on a
connection that was alreadyreally deep, you know.
So now, you know, now that she's20, you know, pushing 21 and
(13:21):
she's this adult now, I get tolet her go out and without fear,
having her make mistakes, havingher, you know, all the all the
anger that I got was like tryingto keep her like in this safe
little bubble in the teen years.
But now I understand why, whyshe was doing things the way she
was doing, why she was quoteunquote making me angry or
(13:44):
disobeying me, or you know,things like that.
Now that she is in this adultworld, we both have confidence
in each other and in her.
She she me uh me going throughthis with her gave her
confidence in herself.
And and it's I I don't think ifwe avoided those conversations,
(14:06):
those things wouldn't have beenhealed and understood more about
the other person.
Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_00 (14:11):
Makes perfect sense.
And I think what you're speakingto is like so powerful, and what
I'm sure a lot of people canrelate to, especially with
family relationships, becausethey are so deep and you are so
connected, and you're talkingmother-daughter, which is like
special in its own um self.
But yeah, being able to go tothose more nuanced places in a
(14:32):
relationship with someone, likerupture and repair, and being
able to have a you know, ablowout fight and and work
through it together.
I mean, your relationship's onlygonna get deeper and stronger.
And I don't even think I knewwhat rupture was and repair was
until like I was in my upper20s.
I was like, wait, there's anoption for it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:53):
I think I was a lot older when I when I learned
about that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:57):
Yeah.
And I think that um I'm sureit's just yeah, something that
your daughter's gonna be able tocarry with her into like her,
you know, relationships andfriendships and everything,
which is like pretty awesome.
SPEAKER_01 (15:08):
That's the goal, yeah.
But I think the the rupturepiece, I think people are so
afraid that it's gonna be sobroken that there's no way, you
know, where we can possibly fixit.
And so what they're trying to dois so desperately hold a system
together that just isn't workinganymore.
And if you just let it happen,let this explosion happen, it's
(15:33):
the best thing that you couldpossibly do.
Let the world fall apart.
It always reminds me of thetower card in in tarot.
Tower card in in tarot.
Um it's everything that you'vebuilt.
And then an act, it's likethere's a a lightning bolt
that's like um about to hit thistower that you built.
(15:57):
And it's the lightning is like arepresenting an act of God, and
it's horrible.
Like it could be a big towermoment or a little bit of the
tower moment, but like if youtry and void and and hold that
tower together, it's it's gonnacome tumbling down.
But if you just step back, letthe chaos happen, what you can
rebuild from the foundation isis you know bigger and stronger
(16:21):
and better, and exactly what Godintended for you.
SPEAKER_00 (16:24):
Yeah, oh my goodness.
Yeah, so it's yeah, definitelychallenging to let it all fall
apart.
Oh, it's so scary.
It's pretty terrifying.
SPEAKER_01 (16:33):
It's a big it's it really tests your faith in in
just being it's but it it itkeeps you in the moment too.
Like if you just surrender tothat, that fear, that terrifying
fear, it really just keeps youin the moment.
And that's the point of thiswhole path, this spiritual path
(16:55):
that we've decided to go down iskeeping you present in the
moment, keeping you connected.
And if you're in the momentavoiding, then you're not in the
moment, right?
SPEAKER_00 (17:10):
Right.
Yeah, it's true.
SPEAKER_01 (17:12):
It's uh yeah, it's just reminding me of like, I
guess how I got on this path,and like, you know, we all be on
this path generally speaking,because it was going good for
us, right?
Like it's usually every healer,every coach, every therapist was
like, well, that was a doozy.
unknown (17:33):
You know.
SPEAKER_01 (17:35):
Yep, that's what I'm thinking about right now.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, we all had that doozymoment.
SPEAKER_00 (17:41):
Do we want to touch a little bit on spiritual
codependency and dive into thata little bit more?
Yeah.
Okay, so I do have for my notes,uh, my research, um, a bit of a
definition here.
Spiritual codependency is whenspiritual practices, teachings,
or relationships are used tosubstitute your sense of
(18:03):
self-trust or your personalpower or your inner authority.
So instead of fostering like asense of empowerment, the path
becomes another avenue for, likeyou mentioned, spiritual
bypassing or dependency.
And so this can look likeoutsourcing your wisdom to a
teacher or a healer or somemodality rather than cultivating
(18:27):
your own inner knowing, um,using spirituality as a way to
avoid difficult emotions orhuman needs, which we touched a
little bit on, but we can chatmore about.
Um, mistaking constant uh formsof like self-sacrifice as a form
of spiritual growth, uh,believing that there are bad and
(18:48):
low vibe or not spiritual enoughuh moments if they're you know
enforcing boundaries or doingsomething that you don't like,
feeling shame when strugglingwith human emotions, like we
mentioned, like grief or angeror jealousy, because you should
be like more spiritual or moreevolved, or you shouldn't feel
these feelings anymore.
Um, and confusing peoplepleasing with compassion or
(19:12):
service.
So that was a mouthful.
SPEAKER_01 (19:14):
Yeah.
So something that's popping out,the biggest, and I know that you
and I share this um belief andare very verbal with our
clients, is that when you have aclient who is singing your
praises and giving you all ofthe um what's the word?
(19:39):
Not accolades, but like givingyou all the um credit for the
all the work that they did.
Like I I'll hear like you'reamazing, you you your energy,
your energy, your energy, yourenergy.
First of all, it's not myenergy.
I am just a vessel.
I am channeling energy from thedivine.
(19:59):
I am just really good at gettingyou to relax and get and staying
connected with you.
So the healing that is flowingthrough me is coming from
source.
So I didn't do anything to heal,okay?
In the the actual healing uhtook place uh within my client,
(20:19):
right?
They opened up to the healing,they opened up to receive this
unconditional love.
But it feels really good to getall of this praise.
It feels really, really good.
So I think you know, you canvery easily give all the credit
to the healer, but also as thehealer, take all the credit.
(20:41):
Like you have to be superhumble.
It's both sides, right?
You have to be super humble asthe healer, and you have to be
really um empowered as thereceiver, as the client on the
other end to know that you didall of this work.
You opened up to it.
It's not somebody else,somebody, nobody handed it to
(21:04):
you.
You you took it and you ran forit, ran with it.
SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that.
And yeah, I agree.
I think it's something that weboth talk about a lot in our
work.
And um yeah, I think it'simportant to name it and just
talk about that.
Like, yeah, you have the abilitywithin yourself to give yourself
what you need to find thathealing, to release, to let go,
you know, whatever the antidoteis that you need in that moment.
(21:28):
Like you do have that withinyourself.
So yeah, I think that's like oneside of it.
And I, yeah, it's interesting toalso talk about the other side
as the practitioner, as like,because there are a lot of
people on the podcast too thatare practitioners that listen to
the podcast that arepractitioners or healers or
therapists.
And um, yeah, like staying,yeah, like grounded and
connected to like who you are asa person and knowing that it's
(21:52):
it's your craft, it's your work,but it's not necessarily like
who you are.
Yes, it's a part of youridentity, but it's not, it's not
the thing.
Yeah.
And so, like really stayinggrounded in your practices and
like you said, being humble andknowing that, like being
integral with your work really.
SPEAKER_01 (22:08):
Yes.
Yes, really the integrity pieceis a is a big part of it because
when you think about it, likewhat we our goal is for our
clients to not come to us everysingle week for the rest of
their lives, right?
So it's not the best businessmodel when you think about it,
right?
So I think sometimes spiritualcodependency can be very
manipulative and like making,you know, you want to make sure
(22:31):
that your your clients feelreally empowered and you're
gonna lose them at one point orfor maybe a period of time and
then they come back later on asthey evolve too, you know,
because we want, I always tellmy clients also like you
shouldn't just stick, Ishouldn't be the only healer in
your life.
You should have like there's somany different modalities, and
you never know what a personreally needs, right?
(22:55):
Like you might come to me onetime and I say, you know what, I
really think you need breathwork with Rachel.
I don't do that.
Let me refer her, refer you toher.
That client might never comeback to me because what they
need is the breath work, butthat was my job.
That was it, right?
So I can't manipulate them tocome back.
So, but I trust that anotherclient is gonna come in its
(23:18):
place.
SPEAKER_00 (23:18):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
Yeah, and sometimes like likeI've done that many times too,
where um I am referring out or Itry and like stay in my lane.
And that I think is is reallynice because it always does come
back around.
Oh, yeah.
It always comes back around.
Always.
Whether it's a referral youreceive or um you you run into
(23:39):
that person, they're so gratefulthat like they you know
discovered this thing.
And it's not like it's not aboutus.
SPEAKER_01 (23:44):
No, it's not about us.
Yeah, it's not about us at all.
SPEAKER_00 (23:49):
Yeah, so one topic that I think we're speaking to
in various ways with what we'vetalked about already is this
idea of boundaries.
And I'll share a little bitabout what boundaries are.
So boundaries are the physical,emotional, energetic, and
relational limits that we set toprotect our well-being, to honor
(24:10):
our needs, and define where weend and others begin.
So they can also be theseinvisible edges, quote unquote,
that communicate what we areavailable for and what we are
not available for.
And so boundaries can show up inour physical space, like uh, you
know, touch, physical touch,privacy, emotional space, you
(24:33):
know, how much of others, otherfeelings we take on, or how we
share our own feelings, ourmental boundaries, so protecting
our thoughts, our values andbeliefs, our energetic
boundaries, so regulating howmuch our energy is given or
taken away, or who we share ourenergy with.
And then, you know, timeboundaries, you know, limits
(24:54):
around availability orcommitments or work-life
balance.
And so boundaries can show up,you know, in a few different
ways.
If they're feeling like blurryor absent or unclear, you can
show up feeling uh resentful,drained, taken advantage of,
saying yes when you want to sayno, taking on other people's
(25:14):
emotions, um, struggling andoverextending ourselves in work
or relationships or with ourfriends.
And when boundaries are maybelooking more like healthy or
more landed, it can look like umsaying no or uh not
over-explaining ourselves,feeling safe and respected in
our relationships, um havingmore energy and presence for
(25:37):
people, uh, making decisionsthat are aligned with our values
and engaging in relationshipsthat feel balanced and like
there's a reciprocal energygoing on.
Not as boundaries.
SPEAKER_01 (25:48):
Boundaries are a big topic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:52):
Yeah, it's definitely layered.
Um, and I can see how, you know,when it comes to codependency in
relationships or spiritually,that having healthy boundaries
can really serve us.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (26:06):
Um, I think it kind of goes back to um something you
said in the beginning of likespirituality doesn't is is
something that we do and it'ssomething that we practice and
it's something that we bringinto our healing, right?
Um, but it's not everything thatwe are.
And it it is, it doesn't, wedon't have to shove this down
(26:27):
anybody's throat, right?
Like that's like a a big no-no.
And if one one thing that I doin my practice a lot is like,
you know, I channel messages asI'm I'm giving a healing, and I
always say to the person, like,you know, they kind of go home
with like quote unquotehomework.
Um, but if something doesn'tresonate with you, then like
(26:50):
don't don't do it.
Like so, so I feel like you youjust have to, just because I
said it, you know, doesn't meanyou have to do something if it
doesn't feel right to you,because it's we were in a
spiritual moment.
Sometimes time has to justunfold for it to to get done or
for you to approach the the uhthe homework, so to speak, or
(27:13):
you just don't ever do it,right?
But you're the you're theultimate authority in all of
that.
SPEAKER_00 (27:18):
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, I think what you'respeaking to is like autonomy,
like having your autonomy andhaving your choice in yeah, what
you do and what homework you dodo or what lands.
I always say, yeah, like takewhat lands, leave what doesn't.
Yeah.
Um, and you know, I think itthat having that foundation
(27:40):
empowers the individual to takeon what does land for them and
find their yeah, find their ownpath and you know, keep going in
a way that resonates with them.
SPEAKER_01 (27:51):
Yes.
And I think too, like sometimeswith it all always being like
making sure that this isn't allthe only thing that we do, the
only like spirituality andhealing and all that isn't the
only thing that we're it's notour whole identity.
That's where I couldn't find thewords.
Sometimes you just also have toknow your audience and who
(28:11):
you're speaking to.
Like at 16, with me talkingabout like, you know, me
connecting with the angelicrealm, I daughter really didn't
care.
I wasn't gonna connect with herthat way, you know?
So you just have to know who tospeak about this with and you
know, and how you speak aboutit, and um allowing other people
(28:32):
to have their own views and andbeliefs as well, because none of
us are wrong.
It's just this is how I found myway.
Doesn't mean somebody else's wayis wrong, it works for them, if
that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00 (28:47):
Yeah, I think that makes perfect sense.
Um yeah, it's like reallybecoming aware of what lands for
you, how it feels in your body,how you know it feels in your
mind, um, what does resonate,and continuing what I like to
say like follow the ping is whatI call it.
(29:08):
Like we all have this inner,inner feeling, inner ping, inner
knowing.
And if something is standing outto you, something you're curious
about, or something you want totry, or whatever that might be,
like follow it.
Like follow the ping, likewhatever that is.
And it's so fun to see whathappens on the other side.
(29:29):
And it's it's one form for me,um, one way that I like to like
get back into alignment.
If I feel like I'm out ofalignment, like follow the ping.
And then I usually end up withlike some like synchronistic
story, and I'm like, oh my god,you won't believe what happened
the other day at the store, likeda da da.
And it's like because you followthe ping, you follow uh the
knowing, the the push, whateverthat might be.
(29:51):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (29:53):
And I think sometimes too, like people get
this idea that you have to um.
Live a certain lifestyle or livelike dress a certain way or you
know use certain words for youto for this to be your path.
Like I would never eat dairy, Iwould never eat meat, I would
(30:13):
never, I would never havealcohol, I would never know,
like some of the most connectedpeople I know smoke like a
chimley.
They don't they don't have likethe health, they're not worried
about anything being organic.
And that just that works forthem.
That resonates with them.
It doesn't make them notconnected to something, to
their, their, their, you know,their their spiritual path.
(30:37):
It's it it just it's like thesilliest thing.
SPEAKER_00 (30:40):
I love that you're I love that you're saying this.
And it's it's so funny.
Um, yeah, there's so yeah, Imean, there's definitely just
like so much pressure for thingsto like be a certain way or look
a certain way.
SPEAKER_01 (30:51):
Look a certain way, especially on Instagram and
stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00 (30:54):
It's just like And we can chat more about that too.
SPEAKER_01 (30:57):
Yeah, that's probably a whole other topic,
Rick.
SPEAKER_00 (31:00):
I think what you're speaking to is uh authenticity.
Yeah.
I think what's refreshing aboutum, yeah, a lot of like what, or
at least I guess maybe I'mspeaking for myself, but um was
what resonates with me isauthenticity.
And when can someone someone canjust show up and like just be
their true self?
And ain't nothing wrong withthat.
(31:20):
Ice cream solves a lot.
unknown (31:22):
It does.
SPEAKER_00 (31:24):
It does.
I love it.
Um, one other topic that we hadto that we wanted to discuss was
how sometimes there's this funnything that can happen with
spirituality where we kind ofuse it to maybe like mask what
we're feeling or mask ourbehavior.
So we kind of touched on it withspiritual bypassing, but um
(31:46):
yeah, maybe like elaborating alittle bit more on like what
that could look like or how thatshows up for us.
SPEAKER_01 (31:51):
Yeah, I think it's like an accountability thing and
and like just using like I I seeit a lot with people manifesting
things, like I manifested, youknow, something amazing in my
into my life.
And like really what happenedwas there was a little bit of a
path of destruction, and youkind of like cheated your way to
this gift that came into yourlife.
(32:12):
And making, I think the biggestthing is like when you're doing
something, when you'remanifesting with integrity,
you're doing any kind ofspiritual work or spell work or
whatever it is that you do,you're doing it for the highest
and greatest good.
And that's not only for you, buteveryone connected to you, for
your family, for your friends,with the within the people that
(32:32):
you did business with, if it waslike, you know, a purchase or
something like that.
You have to make sure thatyou're manifesting from a pure
place, the highest integrity.
Um I think sometimes you seesomeone kind of spiraling out of
control with their life.
(32:57):
And to avoid looking at that, atthe mess that they're making,
they they they jump into this.
Well, I'm just you know,rainbows and butterflies, as we
said in the beginning right now,and I'm avoiding it.
And I didn't, you know, I I'mnot gonna look at the chaos that
I cause.
Um I wanna say, I think that youcan people, some people are
(33:19):
really good at tricking othersinto into seeing what they're
trying to showcase, right?
Some people are really good attricking themselves, but at the
end of the day, you cannot trickGod, the universe, whatever your
word is, the divine source.
You can't trick source.
So in some way, like, and we wedeal with karma and dharma,
(33:44):
right?
In some way, this is going toget mirrored back to you, and
it'll happen in little ways forspirit to be like, okay, let's
look at this.
You know, this is like a littlebit of a damage that was caused.
We can clean this up, like spiltmilk kind of thing.
And if you're not getting thelesson, it's gonna come back to
(34:04):
you pretty, prettydestructively.
And I, you know, not saying thatto scare somebody, but like, you
know, it starts as like a littletap on the shoulder, hey, you
may want to pay attention, andthen it becomes like a full-on
grabbing of the shoulder,shaking you to wake up.
So yeah, justifying your chaoswith spirituality is never gonna
(34:26):
work.
SPEAKER_00 (34:27):
Yeah, you know, I think what you're speaking to
makes a lot of sense, and youknow, it it happens so fast that
sometimes we don't like even seethat it's happening, but there's
yeah, patterns that will show upand signs that will show up.
And it's tough when that happensand it's like you have to see it
first, right?
Like you need your awarenessthere to see it first.
SPEAKER_01 (34:48):
Um or believe the people who are pointing it out
to you, too.
Right.
Me, you know, like really tryhaving like faith, you know, you
don't want people who are justlike yesing you to death just
to, you know, that's again likerelationships that are not
healthy, those, you know, thatthat people are that are not
being truthful with you, youknow.
(35:09):
So you you gotta you gottareally surround yourself with
people that are like honest andopen and that you trust.
And they're they're seeing theyou know, they're pointing these
things out because they loveyou.
SPEAKER_00 (35:21):
Yeah, yeah.
I love that.
Yeah, it kind of goes back tolike that rupture and repair and
like boundaries showing up likehonestly, honoring your yes or
your no.
Um, definitely touches on likethe codependency and like in in
multiple forms.
Um yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:39):
It's such a big topic.
I feel like we could do likethree or four more of these
because it's just it's it's it'sbig and it's it's kind of
everywhere.
And it's always you always haveto just have your own
self-awareness with this becauseI think we're all susceptible.
I don't care how evolved you areon this planet, I think you can
easily fall back into you knowbad habits.
SPEAKER_00 (36:03):
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
I think it's tough to uh this iskind of like a tangent, but I
think sometimes like uh we canput other people on like a
pedestal of some sort.
And then when something goesawry and they fall from that
pedestal, um, it's not great.
It's not a good feeling foreither involved.
(36:24):
And what gets us there usuallyis something around boundaries
or authenticity or expressingyourself, you know,
authentically or whatever thatlooks like.
And so um, yeah, like havingthat awareness and and working
and continuing to, yeah, like dothat self-inquiry and
self-awareness work.
Well, I've loved having thisconversation with you.
(36:45):
This was so interesting.
It was so cool to see all thedifferent areas that we dove
into.
Uh, I do have one more question,but before I ask that, um, how
can people stay connected withyou?
And I'll also put yourinformation in the show notes.
SPEAKER_01 (36:58):
Yeah, so I'm on Instagram and Facebook.
Um, on Instagram, I'm at ReikiShores.
My website is rakyshores.com.
Um email rakyshoresenergyhealingat gmail.com.
Um, I would love for you toreach out to me um and and see
what I have to offer.
(37:18):
I love to collaborate withpeople.
I I love to just meet new peoplein this spiritual community.
I think we need healers, we needeach other.
Um, it's it's this couldprobably be like another topic
of conversation, but like thisis you know, a growing field.
I think it's becoming moremainstream.
(37:39):
And I think that having otherhealers in your life that have
businesses and um finding youryour um your people in this
business is really important.
Um and finding people that areof high integrity in this
business is really important.
(37:59):
That could be like a whole otherconversation because there's
plenty that are not.
But um, yeah, I I I would lovefor people to reach out to me.
I love connecting.
SPEAKER_00 (38:08):
Amazing.
Yeah, I'll definitely put youryour info in the show notes.
And yeah, to build off of onething that you mentioned, um,
yeah, Erin creates beautifulcommunity.
I've met so many uh peoplethrough Erin, uh, personal and
professional.
And so yeah, reach out to her,stay connected with her.
Thank you.
Um, she's doing all sorts ofcool stuff.
(38:29):
Um, yeah, and the last questionI always ask uh our guests,
which I actually forgot to askyou in our last episode.
So I'm so happy that we attackyou today now, is um what is one
thing right now in this seasonof your life that is really
lighting you up?
So this could be anything.
This could be a book, a teacher,an artist, a song, a show on
(38:50):
Netflix.
It could be anything.
Something that's really lightingyou up, inspiring you.
SPEAKER_01 (38:56):
It's I don't think it's a certain um, like I would,
I'm not gonna point out like aperson or or anything.
I don't think it's anything likethat.
I think I'm just um uhexperiencing the joy of um the
fruits of my labor at thispoint.
I think I've done a lot of I Ithink I'm enjoying the evidence
(39:20):
of my hard work, right?
And I think I'm enjoying, I'mI'm seeing a lot of my clients
that have been coming to me foryears um in this place.
Like they've shifted to theother side of things.
It's happening a lot, and I'mjust like I'm just I'm enjoying
(39:43):
the evidence of that.
Like I knew it was where like myfaith has always been there, but
I'm like, I knew it.
And we need as humans, I thinkwe just need to see the evidence
of the other side of that too.
So I I I feel like I'm seeing abig shift um in my own personal
life, but also in the collectiveof like, okay, we've we've put
(40:04):
we've put these practices to towork for like a number of years.
Like I feel like the year 2006,2007 is like when this started
to become a little bit moremainstream.
And so, you know, that's a longtime.
It's almost 2026.
So, like you're talking like 20years of like this really
becoming a practice for for alot of people, for mainstream
(40:27):
people.
And um, I'm just I'm justfinding joy in that.
That's that's what's inspiringme to just keep going and
evolving and diving deeper.
SPEAKER_00 (40:37):
I love that.
Yeah, amazing, amazing.
Um okay, great.
Well, thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01 (40:44):
Thank you.
I loved being uh in thisconversation with you, Rachel.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00 (40:48):
Thank you for being here and tuning in to cinematic
healing for wellness focusedwomen podcast.
If you were moved or inspired bytoday's episode, please take a
moment to leave a rating andreview on Apple Podcasts.
It truly helps the podcast growand helps more people find me on
their film journey.
Make sure to check out the shownotes to sign up for the monthly
(41:10):
newsletter, links to ourresources, opportunities to work
with me, and ways that we canstay connected.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram to follow me atReadyThis Sematic Coast.
Send me a DM.
I'd love to connect with you,and I answer each note that
comes in.
I am so happy you're here, and Icannot wait to talk with you on
(41:33):
our next episode of the podcast.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.