198 - Navigating the Challenges of People Pleasing
In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked downside of being too nice. Drawing from "Anxious to Please: Seven Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice" by James Rapson and Craig English, we discuss how chronic people pleasing can impact mental health, relationships, and personal fulfillment. We offer practical strategies to help listeners find a balance between kindness and self-respect.
The Hidden Costs of People Pleasing: Chronic people pleasing can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and strained relationships. It often involves second-guessing oneself and constantly seeking approval.
Recognizing Over-Accommodation: Awareness is the first step towards change. It is crucial to identify situations where one is overly accommodating and reflect on the emotions and thoughts behind these behaviors.
Steps to Reclaim Your Authenticity:
Small Acts of Self-Assertion: Start with minor actions like suggesting a restaurant or declining additional work.
Forgiveness and Patience: Changing ingrained habits takes time. Be kind to yourself throughout the process.
The Desert Practice: Spending time alone helps one reconnect with one’s personal desires and needs. This practice encourages listening to one's own voice away from external influences.
Developing a Personal Ethic: Adopt a mindset similar to a warrior who acts based on personal ethics rather than automatic niceness. This involves making conscious decisions aligned with personal values.
Takeaways:
Balance Kindness with Self-Respect: It's essential to be kind without compromising one’s own well-being. Awareness and small steps towards self-assertion can help achieve this balance.
Practice Solitude: Regularly spending time alone helps you understand and prioritize your needs.
Conscious Decision Making: Acting based on personal ethics rather than habitual niceness leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
https://startwithsmallsteps.com/198-breaking-free-from-people-pleasing/
https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Please-Revolutionary-Practices-Chronically-ebook/dp/B001U29UDK
Jill’s Links
https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com
https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill
https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI
https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod
Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com
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