December 28, 2022 • 56 mins
We dive DEEP today into reclaiming the "party girl" / rebel, as an exploration of the Wild Woman, innate in you. How do you break free, let loose, wile out, without alcohol?
Sacred Rebellion is regarding with high respect what YOU deem appropriate for yourself. Rebellion is against what someone else has deemed appropriate for you. Sacred Rebellion is not in a rebel without a cause way or a need to shame the other, but a reclamation of your own innate desires as an erotic women.
Alcohol until now has been your source of "rebellion", but you're still drinking what their selling.
Today's episode will answer the burning question "now what? is this all there is?"
The fear that you will loose your edge and your wild side.
What you think is your only access to being bold and free.
Why you have the desire to sometimes, check out and what that really means for your growth.
Sacred rebellion is the recognition that with alcohol you were never free or wild.
How alcohol as an act of rebellion has perpetuated the other stories that keep you in boxes in other areas of your life.
I also give you a ritual to remember to participate in for New Years Eve, or anytime your desire is calling you.
You’ve tried to cut back on drinking but nothing sticks, you're stuck in the cycle of confusion and convincing. One day you're motivated, the next you're telling yourself it's not that bad. What makes the difference isn’t more information—it’s having a new way to apply it. Click HERE to schedule your free consult to uncover the one thought that will change everything.
There Is A Life Beyond Moderation & Deprivation.
We Focus On What You Are Moving Towards, Not What You Are Moving Away From.
The Exhausting Trap Of Moderation Ends Now With My No Shame Approach Using The Proven Five Shifts Process. Follow the path of 100's of Women, Click HERE to join today!
DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:01):
Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing alcohol, that
you are longing for a deeperconnection to life? If alcohol
is keeping you playing small andfeels like the one area, you
just can't figure out you are inthe right place. Hi, my name is
Mary Wagstaff. I'm a Holisticalcohol coach who ended a 20
year relationship to alcoholwithout labels, counting days or
(00:23):
ever making excuses. Now I helppowerful women just like you
eliminate their desire to drinkon their own terms. In this
podcast, we will explore therevolutionary approach of my
proven five shifts process thatgets alcohol out of your way by
breaking all of the rules, andthe profound experience that it
is to rediscover who you are onthe other side of alcohol. I am
(00:48):
so thrilled to be your guide.
Welcome to your journey ofawakening. Welcome back to the
show my beautiful listeners, I'mso thrilled that you're here. If
you're new welcome in to oursacred circle of exploration.
Today's episode is a really,really important one. And I've
alluded to it a lot in mycontent. But like, it is
(01:08):
something that over the lastcouple of weeks, I had a huge
breakthrough, not only withyou know, kind of my thesis for
this work, but me personally,under the you know, under the
the idea of sacred rebellion andwhy this is so, so important in
(01:28):
our conversation and in yourjourney away from alcohol. And
we're going to bring it fullcircle to, to how to use this
concept in real time. Right now,if you're listening to this
December 28 2022.
into creating a ritual you willremember for the new year,
before we get on with that Ireally wanted to just make sure
(01:51):
you knew about a new offeringthat I've added to for you, and
for the new year. And it'savailable right now. And so you
can get in there. So in additionto the complimentary
consultations, which I have foryou to, to see if my extended
one on one awakening beyondalcohol program, is the right
(02:14):
fit for where you are. So Ireally help you in those
consultations, articulate theproblem, right what you see as a
problem to help you articulatethat and see where you're stuck,
and help you reallysee that all of your past
attempts have no bearing onwhat's possible for the future
when we utilize the tools of thefive shifts process. Right. So
(02:38):
so many people come to thoseconsultations without having
like, their biggest thing is thebelief in themselves that why
will this time be different. Sowe talk about how the five
shifts is different and how thethe perspective that you have
about why you're stuck.
Is,is not supporting you're getting
(02:59):
unstuck, right. And thentogether, we really look at
making, you know, I talk to youabout the program and show you
and together we there's aconsent for making a decision
about moving forward. But youknow, that you want your success
is inevitable, and you're readyto really anchor that commitment
into being an active participantbecause your
(03:25):
your dedication to learning anew way and learning and
applying these tools withaccountability with a safe space
that you can trust, and thenevaluating your results. And
having that ongoing support isreally like the only way that we
learn anything in life is bycontinuously reapplying it
and being willing to fall andget up. Matthew told me this
(03:47):
quote yesterday, it wassomething like he had listened
to it was congratulations onfailing most people never try,
you know. So it's it'sredefining what it means to fail
and that you're not when youwhen you sign up for an extended
participation. You're notstopping and starting over
because we don't count days,right? We really we look at the
(04:10):
circumstances and you generateevidence based on the
circumstance.
And your thoughts about it,right. So you're already you're
gaining momentum, not just anumber of a day.
And I was inspired to do thisnew offering, which is a one
time one on one holistic alcoholcoaching call with me which is
(04:30):
what you would get on a weeklybasis inside of the program.
And this is there is a specialthat I'm running for January for
2023 for $23 where you can comeand see what the amazing impact
of the five shifts process inreal time. So this is the
quickest shift in the shortestamount of time. It's quantum,
(04:53):
right like you are going to getin we've already created a
consent for coaching. We'regoing to look at your mind I'm
going to guide you through theresistance that you're feeling
Your body when it comes time todrink, and really see where your
mind takes you and thatresistance so we can create a
new conversation and have yougetting over a hump, where you
are where you're feeling thatand really anchoring it into
(05:14):
your body having the experienceof holistic alcohol coaching
with me. I mean, no one elsedoes this work besides me,
because it's just me. So I justwanted you to know that's there.
And both of these offerings areavailable in the link inside of
the show notes. But it's thisalso this container to explore,
to be seen to be heard to bevulnerable without judgment. And
then in a way that you have anew beauty, you have that new
(05:36):
perspective to take with you tostart applying. So you've
actually experienced it becausethe downfall of dry January is
really the same downfall as youknow, the self help world where
it's like, you take in all thisinformation. But there's no
transformation, right. So if youstart dry January with just the
intention of taking a break andgetting through 30 days, and
(06:00):
then you celebrate the end of itwith a drink, which is going to
reinforce the need and necessityand importance of alcohol, dry
January is going to actuallymake can really
can be the opposite of whatyou're going for, it can
actually reinforce andstrengthen the habit of alcohol,
if you don't set your intentionto change your mind. But this is
(06:23):
why I'm giving you thisopportunity right now to get
coached to change your mind sothat you can use dry January as
an opportunity to set forth withthe intention. I'm ready to be
happier without alcohol, likethis is it I'm ready to be
happier without alcohol. And I'mgoing to find all of the reasons
why that's true, and how that'strue. And then you're going to
(06:45):
implement what we're going totalk about today in this concept
of sacred rebellion.
So sacred rebellion, is an ideaof expressing really the wild
woman archetype that has so manywomen stuck in now what in that
question of like, now what youknow that that party girl, the
(07:05):
bad girl, the the one, the partof you that wants to let loose.
And sacred is something that youregard with highest, the highest
respect, and rebellion isagainst what someone or
something has deemed appropriatefor you. So you're regarding and
have the highest respect whatyou deem appropriate for
yourself. That's what sacredrebellion is, my desires, the
(07:30):
way that I make decisions formyself what I deem appropriate
for me, my definition of thatis I'm respecting have the
highest regard. Andunintentionally, we get to this
place where we have a box aroundwhat we deem appropriate, right.
And that's why the wild woman isalive inside of you. But the
only lens that you've been ableto express that through is
(07:52):
through alcohol, right? It is asafe and mean, safe, socially
unacceptable way for you tocheck out, right, but then
you're completely checking outof reality. So there's that
consequence of I'm going tocheck out of my responsibilities
and the day to day life so thatI can go be an independent
(08:16):
woman. But then the the downsideof that is that you're checking
out of what your real desire is,because that desire, that
longing, that yearning to bethat we're going to talk about
the wild woman archetype.
To be that, like, why is thatinside of you, right? Your
(08:36):
desire for for that breaking outand being free and letting
loose, is pointing you tosomething inside of you that
wants to be expressed. But untilthis until now, you didn't even
know that there was anotheroption for that. But I'm telling
you that there is and that thisthis energy that lives inside of
(08:59):
you. If you've ever exploredarchetypal energy, right, we
hear about the made in themother, the wise woman, the
lover, and then the wild womanor the Huntress, there's the
Enchantress. There, these areliving inside of you so deeply.
And you know, this is what makesmy work and the work of
awakening beyond alcohol beyondthe illusion of all of these
(09:23):
boxes that you've set up foryourself. Because you get to
this point of I've checked allthese things off the list, I
have my family, I have mypartner, I have my home, I have
my children. I have my career, Ihave other interests and
hobbies, even alcohol is the onething that I can't get out of
the way. Why will because I haveno way to express myself as a
(09:44):
erotic, natural, independentwoman free of all of those
things that I just listed.
Right? But you've created thisbox and there's so much
satisfaction in there. And somany of those things satisfy
those other archetypal desiresof the maid and the mother the
lover are right.
And then but you get to thisplace and that that part inside
(10:05):
of you that's ready to beexpressed as a fully free being
unto herself, has no outletexcept for alcohol. So when you
drink, you can check out whenyou're drink you, you shut off
the brain that has all of thoseto do lists, right? Like you're
out with your happy hour withyour colleagues and your kids
(10:27):
are at home, or you're out witha night with your partner.
Right, and so and so alcohol isgiving you that out, that you
have the opportunity to give toyourself, but you have put
unintentionally, there's all ofthese boxes and rules and
restrictions, that the processof the five shifts and coaching
(10:52):
helps you also see aren't real,they are boxes created by an
illusion, you know, of kind ofsomething that we've all bought
into.
And like I've said this so manytimes on the show, when we talk
about they and culture andwhatever it's like, none of that
matters, like your brain create,like it was influenced by your
(11:16):
parents, by the church, bysociety, by consumerism, by
capitalism, by colonialism,right. But you know that now and
so, but like those are stilljust constructs. And yes, if you
do something different, this actof sacred rebellion, you are
going to be going kind ofagainst the main stream, but
(11:36):
it's still just an idea. Andwhen you do it, you will realize
there's no real consequence toit. The consequence is freedom.
The consequence is breaking freeof the shackles of the
constructs of the mind of whatsomeone else has tried to sell
you, right. Because when we havethe sacred, when we think we're
being rebellious throughalcohol, you're still drinking,
(11:58):
what they're selling you,there's no act of rebellion,
you're falling right into themainstream of the norm of this
is the only way that I get to befree. Right, you still have the
shackles of consumerism andcapitalism on through the act of
drinking.
And, like, just knowing that isall you need to know. It
(12:19):
doesn't, it doesn't reallymatter, like people are really
good at marketing. And we couldgo all the way back to, you
know, the, the,like inventing the calendar, and
I'm gonna talk a little bitabout. And I talked a little bit
about this a couple of weeks agoabout celebrating the solstice
and how we don't, we don'treally realize that we've
already been given the gift ofritual innately created in our
(12:42):
wild woman newness, right? Sothe wild woman also connects to
the cycles and the rhythms ofthe pulse of nature. And
that is, when you do that, youhave now access to sacred
rebellion to a way of expressingyourself wild Lee, right, like
(13:06):
wild is of nature. And when youconsume alcohol, you're actually
this is why I always say alcoholis a distortion. It's a complete
inversion of the truth becausewhen we consume alcohol, we are
actuallydowngrading and impeding our
wildness we are, we are 14 andinvalidating our natural
(13:28):
emotions, our natural desirethat is coming up inside of us
that wants to be expressed. Nowthe chemical of alcohol
amplifies that feeling. Andthat's why this piece is so
important. It amplifies thatfeeling.
It can when you're drinking, butthe desire for the chemical
(13:51):
creates this kind ofanticipatory excited,
anxiousness. Right. And so isit's when you're not in the
practice of, of letting youremotions and the sensations in
your body kind of be a roadmapto and a compass to like what
(14:12):
what's going on here. You caneasily mistake that that excited
anticipation of just thethe chemical, the drug of
alcohol, as adding more to yourdesire. So in my own personal
experience, and what I see withmy clients is that that there's
a different quality to theenergy of the innate wild woman
(14:35):
wanting to be expressed, versusthe just desire to drink because
there's this yearning that comesup inside of you this of your
own erotic nature. Sometimes itfeels like being turned on.
Sometimes it's like I want tolet loose I need to be out I
(14:56):
need to be free. I need torelease the shaft
goes right. And a lot of that isthe thoughts of your own mind.
And this is why we have to godeeper, right, because you've
created a lot of these shacklesthat are oppressing your own
oppression in your own mind ofwhat's available to you. But
(15:17):
then you add the chemical ofalcohol, and it it really
amplifiesthat like excited energy, but in
a way that's not natural thatwouldn't be there. So the way
that you experience that now isthat the your innate desire, and
a lot of times it will happenfor women during their time of
(15:37):
ovulation.
Where there's an arousal, righteven just like scents, like the
wind on your skin, right, andthis is the wild woman. But
because those sensations andthis is very important, those
sensations of that arousal havebeen associated with alcohol and
(15:59):
with you wiling out raging outright partying.
Then now every time you feelthat you associate it with
alcohol, and so then your brainthinks that's the only option
also, right. So you have all ofthese boxes of
kind of rules that you've givenyourself of why the wild woman
can't be expressed all day,every day. But you didn't, you
(16:22):
didn't have these words for it,probably. And it's your escape,
right? Alcohol has been yourescape away from the day to day
from the mundane from the fromthe, the addition of, of the
cultural implications and theboxes that we put ourselves in.
And these boxes are great. Imean, I love like, I love my box
of my home, you know, andthere's like, it meets so many
(16:44):
of our needs, but the lack andthe yearning, and that void that
you feel, is because you don'tknow how to access
the wild woman through thissacred rebellion through what
you innately want. And this isthe exploration like, I will cry
thinking about it. Because I seeit time and time again, for so
(17:06):
many women. And for men, I seeMatthew go through it all the
time. And he doesn't givehimself permission, versus like
me putting in my two cents,doesn't give himself permission
to go like he is like, I want togo camping by myself in the
woods. And he doesn't do it. AndI'm like, Well, I can do it for
you. You know, like, I just wenton a trip to Sedona, Arizona by
(17:28):
myself. It was over, I wasworking. But there was no meat.
Like it was a pleasure trip, Iwent and experienced and like
people like I've my entire life.
I've been asked, I've been inthe business of sacred
rebellion. Because I've had somany people tell me, it must be
nice. And what I tell them is,it's a choice. And it's a
decision. And so when I went onthis trip, I put all the pieces
(17:49):
together, I had someone come andcare for me. And the times after
school, right? Everyone who hadto get a hold of me, I booked
the Airbnb and I booked theflight like it was it was I
planned it. I saved my money.
And I planned it. Right like,and I made the choice. And all
(18:10):
of the thoughts that come upabout why I can't leave because
I'm a mom aren't true. Right?
What it shows em it, actually,is how to live a life on your
own terms, that I can be a momand an independent woman. And I
come back to Him with all ofthis amazing new information
about what I experienced and theenergy now I'm renewed, now I'm
(18:32):
fresh. So putting, like givingmyself permission to do those
things is actually impacting myrelationships in a positive way.
And then those two get to havetheir time together. Right?
(18:54):
The reason that drinking feelsrebellious is like I said,
because it's been independent,it's a way that you have given
yourself an opportunity to beindependent, leave your
responsibilities to your mind,turn off the mind and the to do
list. And the other thing thatwe go in when we work from the
outside in and coaching is wereally look at that to do list
also. So like there's it doesn'tbecome this tipping point for
(19:18):
you. Right where it's like if Idon't get out here, like it's
not so urgent. You start toweave it into your life. You
give yourself permission forthere to be the both and to be
the mother and the lover and thewild woman. Like this is what
you get to do through this work.
Right that you just we justhaven't seen. So it's an
(19:40):
exploration of blowing open yourperception on everything.
Because you think you can't. Youcan't have all of these things.
You can't do all of these thingswithout alcohol. You haven't
learned how to give yourselfpermission. You have too many
objections for why you can't.
And I see this so muchIn our society, with men and
with women. And the other reasonthat you is like you just might
(20:06):
not know what to do or what elseto do, it's like you haven't you
haven't seen it mirrored to youby your mother, or other women
in society. And or you maybe seeon an Instagram, women are pole
dancing, and you're like, Icould never do that. That's your
thought I could never do that.
Right? The wild woman iscurious. It's like, what if I
(20:28):
tried what would happen, right?
Maybe I get a friend and I go.
So it looks like the other thatit's available to the other. And
fortunately, like we're seeinglike that this is like becoming
so mainstream for the theexample of like, pole dancing,
right. And that brings more insexuality and sensuality, which
is part of it.
(20:50):
And I feel like I've justscratched the surface on it.
This is actually my intentionfor my, I don't know if I have a
word for the year, but is toreally explore what it means to
be a sexual and sensual beingunto myself. Right? Like, even
the idea of pleasure has to comefrom the other. And then you
(21:12):
know, like, self pleasure isembarrassing.
But then then self pleasure alsolooks like one thing, where
like, I've experienced such deeppleasure before in a sound bath,
where my entire body wastingling, or sometimes just
being out in nature and likelaying on the earth.
(21:32):
And there's a woman I had on theshow before where we talked
about Yoni steaming. And I don'tknow what the episode is called
Sabrina have a debt. But Iremember her talking. If you're
into this conversation, golisten to that. This, I remember
her talking about, you know, whyare we embarrassed to explore
(21:54):
our own bodies by ourself withourselves, like, No one's even
watching? Right? So it's kind ofbreaking the ice of that. And I
really think that exploring yoursensuality, your sexuality, your
wildness, like the innateness ofwho you are, your your rageful
emotions, your your deepemotions of grief, and sad, like
(22:14):
all of these things are part ofyour wild woman expression. And
they're, you know, there hasn'tbeen
the opportunity to do it, rightuntil now. So you have to be the
one to figure out how to make ithappen. And that is why I say
your participation intransformation is actively is
(22:39):
required, right? Because thenyou'll end up just not drinking.
And that's why you will feeldeprivation, if you don't
explore these other facets ofwhat's possible for you. And
these boxes that are justconcepts, they're just thoughts
that you feel like you're in,and like you don't have an
option. Right? Like you feellike you don't have an option
(23:01):
that there's going to be a bigupset if you decide, I'm not
going to my in laws for dinner.
Right? Like you think that.
Butthat's not true, right? Like,
and then you get to decide,everyone gets to decide if
that's a problem. Because I knowI don't always go to my in laws.
Because who wants someonesomeplace if they don't want to
(23:27):
be there, right. But I do thingsthat are important for other
people, when they ask even if Idon't want to that has to be
clear. Right? So it's all acreates so many things about
boundaries, and communicationand wants and desires, and
letting other people feelhowever, they need to feel like
if Matthew doesn't really careif I go to Sunday, the Sunday
(23:48):
gathering that they used to doall the time, then that's fine,
right? Then I get some of my ownmeantime. But if he asks and
says this is really important tome, you know, then that's a
different conversation. And soI'm just giving you some
examples of how I've expressedthis in my own life, and the
conversations that we have,where you're opening possibility
(24:10):
instead of shutting yourselfdown by a thought of obligation
of what you think why you thinkyou don't have a choice why you
think your only outlet isthrough alcohol. And you might
have other outlets right thatsatisfy the need of these other
archetypal energies.
(24:31):
But they're not this. They'renot this wild woman archetype.
They're not the expression ofthe raw natural, erotic,
innocent, right, my teachercinta Debbie always says like,
your eroticism is innocent. Itis the most innocent thing it is
what you were born with. Skin toEarth. Right? We weren't born
(24:54):
with clothes on. Experience inpleasure in and sensation And
for her own benefit, right,that's what the wild woman is
for her benefit. Drinking hasmade it acceptable and okay to
leave your kids for the nightand not need an excuse. But, you
know, we need all of these otherreasons like we can only travel
(25:17):
if it's for work, and we have anobligation or a duty for it. The
path of sacred rebellion is thejourney of awakening, at least
it's one facet of it.
And the reason that this ties into your desire for alcohol is
because when you're infusingthat, that yearning, that
(25:38):
longing, with a part of you thatyou've never even explored, that
you didn't even know existed,the need for alcohol goes away.
And it's not throughsubstitution. It's through
becoming whole, it's throughbecoming whole and holy unto
yourself, for yourself by yourself, the sacredness of what you
(25:58):
deem appropriate, the sacrednessfor you, by you of you,
in a way that creates meaning.
Right yearning for something youhave only experienced
in a way of, of what someoneelse has told you has, is
(26:21):
appropriate. And that's why thisis an exploration of your life
of growth of possibility. Now,if you just want to get alcohol
out of the way,and go back to the way things
are, that's part of it too,right? Like you can get alcohol
out of the way and not changeyour life. It's the way that
you're perceiving it. It's theenergy in which you show up.
(26:43):
It's the the objections, and therules and the playbook that
you've given yourself. Rightnow, you could say someone else
gave it to you, but now you'rean adult, and you get to decide,
so that's fine. And there's youknow, there's like that reparent
teen and that unboxing thatpeople talk about or like that
unboxinglike that sifting I don't know
(27:06):
what the term is it term isunpacking. That's what it is
unpacking. Unboxing unpacking.
So you're unpacking right, theseall these ideas. And this
becomes thrilling and thisbecomes exciting. And this
becomes part of your yourritual. Right? Not alcohol,
because there anchors you into adeeper meaning and then you
(27:27):
don't feel like shit. The nextday, you feel amazing. You feel
free, you feel alive. Yourenlivening energy inside of you
that you didn't even know isthere. You know, I've talked a
lot about in the show about myexperience hula hooping that
spiraling up, if you know aboutKundalini, the dormant energy
that lays in the base of thespine, in our spinal column when
(27:47):
the energy rises from the root,right, because right now, it's
like we live in the Root Chakra,it's like we're in survival
mode, we're in scarcity. Andwhen that energy rises, and
lifts up into the other centers,and the other places that we
actually have hormones andother other types of chemicals
(28:10):
are secreted in the body, andglands, and the lymph and then
all the way up into the pinealgland. Like now you're
activating the energy of thebody like Joe Dispenza talks
about this, like these energycenters of the body, there's
actual biological thingshappening at where the chakras
are, right, but if you're justin survival mode, and in go
(28:30):
mode, they go in and then ittakes away from all of the
satisfaction and the magic ofthose other archetypes that you
love so much, because one ofthem is being so neglected. Like
you love being a mother, youlove being a business woman, you
love being a lover and caringfor others. And, and, and
volunteering and being out inthe world. And like the main
(28:53):
energy of, you know, gardeningand, and
sometimes just being, you know,even playful, right?
With your kids, or however thatshows up for your area, like
trying something new.
But when you are in deprivationin these other areas, it takes
(29:15):
away from that. And you've putyourself in a box with all of
your thinking. And that's whatwe get to sift through. Because
it's like, really, your thoughtsare the only box that you've
created, right? And you mightsee, like, you've seen it
portrayed through reinforcedreinforce, you've seen your own
beliefs reinforced and thisisn't like an accident, right?
(29:37):
Like, the peep, like the peoplethat make advertisements and
that make entertainment. Theyknow and they have the same
beliefs too. But it's like it'sreinforced on purpose because it
anchors you into that belief andit creates fear and scarcity and
it creates lack. So just reallypay attention to that. So it's
reinforced by entertainment,religion and other institutions.
(30:00):
This invisible box. But it's nota problem if you know, you just
get to decide, right? And thenyou're going to have all of
these thoughts about being, youknow, going the other way on the
path, like taking your own path.
But that's none of that's true,either. Because there's plenty
of people innovating out there,right? I mean, even the people
that are making the marketingand making the entertainment
(30:22):
they had to take, they had to gooutside of the box, but they've
seen how to do it. So nowthey're just like selling it
back to you. Right, like anyperson that's innovative,
has had to claim like, part oftheir wildness, they've had to
become erect like,unreasonable. And we think it's
unreasonable.
(30:46):
To be to not walk the paththat's influenced by society,
but maybe it's the mostreasonable thing there is. So
you have to claim your wildwoman and the wild woman is that
innate blueprint of a woman,before she was influenced by
society before she was under theinfluence? Holy shit, who is
(31:06):
that woman? Right? Like, this iswhat we get to explore. It's so
fun. It's amazing. And we'reworried about alcohol. Who cares
about the alcohol like that'swhen the alcohol becomes such a
moot point? Who is the womanbefore she was influenced by
society? That is the questionfor the rest of your life. That
is the journey that is theexploration, society, culture,
(31:28):
entertainment, parents reallylike all of the things who am I
before I was influenced bysociety?
What an alcoholkeeps just telling you, it's
okay. You're fine.
No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
She's curious. She's inquiry.
(31:53):
Curiosity is our main our is ourmain like thing. She's, she's in
tune with, like nature, like,there's a compassion in nature.
It's like she's trusting. She'scurious, she's exploring, she's
inquisitive, she decides forherself. She lives in life with
alignment with her values, herdesires in her truth, she
(32:14):
decides for herself, that's themost important piece, not what
someone else has deemedappropriate for her. That's the
rebellion. She knows who she is,she finds satisfaction in the
unending opportunities of changeand growth, like their
satisfaction when it's whenthey're when it's not about
achievement, right? Rather thangetting to some end result to
(32:36):
the happy place. Because youhave that you've checked the
things off the boxes, right?
There might be some other thingsthat you want to achieve.
But like, you have that andyou're still not happy and
you're still not satisfied,there's still this gap. There's
still as long as there's stillthis yearning. So you know,
that's not it, right? Becauseyou have to be in the intention
(32:56):
with the purpose of growth forever. Right? Or, like, the
satisfaction, like the growthcould be in the stillness also,
right? So it's not just likeaction, right? It's like, I want
to get so good at Shavasana. AndI was telling Matthew last
night, I'm like, there are timeswhen, when I feel so good, like
listening to just likemeditations all the time and
(33:18):
doing yoga nidra and like bodyscans and body relaxation. And
then there's times where like, Idon't want to process my
emotions, or like my feelings ormy life in that way at all. I
gotta get out. I gotta get out.
But that's all of it. This islike this multi dimensional
woman but human experience,right? Like, that's why we have
all of these things that thatyou know, that fulfill those,
(33:42):
but the fucking brilliance ofthe alcohol industry is they
have sold you on every singlearchetype that you can find it
through alcohol, right? You canbe sexy, young, innocent, right?
It keeps you young forever,right? How to take a break as a
mom, right? Or even like mom'sthe mommy's wine club, like how
the moms can act, right? Thesacred rebellion of the wild
(34:06):
woman, the lover like that It'ssensual and romantic and the
sunset on the beach. It has soldus on every archetype and we're
drinking it. We are drinking itand getting addicted to it.
Because alcohol is such a highlyaddictive chemical. That like
give yourself a break. Right?
(34:28):
Like, like it that's why it'snot worth it. Like it's there.
And like, it just I mean, itmakes you sick, right?
They have sold you on everyarchetype of desire that is like
you'll never find in there. Itonly keeps you wanting more.
It's like the drug dealer on theother side of the playground.
(34:51):
But there's so much more on theother side of it. And this is
the journey of awakening. Thisis what I'm selling you but I
don't have to sell you on itbecause it's your life. Like I
I'm just wanting to show you theway I'm opening the door for
you, right? I'm like, becauseI've done it, I'm on it, I'm
doing it.
So the wild woman also processesand transforms the past. She
(35:16):
transmutes that she moves inspirals, not just wanting to
repeat and recreate the past.
But she takes the past and shegrows, right she evolves, she
levels up, she can see where shecame from, and learns from her
failure. She is a free spirit,and she's a wild child. She
dresses for her own pleasure,right? And you might think,
(35:41):
like, Oh, this isn't me. No, itis you, girl. Trust me, it is
you. That's why you're drinkingpart of it.
She dresses for her ownpleasure. She doesn't use her
sexuality as a tool formanipulation to get what she
wants, right, because they'vesold us this wildness and
independence in through amasculine lens. Right. And it's
(36:03):
like the wounded masculine. It'snot even the way that the
masculine wants to expressitself wildly and innately.
I found this quote from someonenamed Hannah Kent, whose novel,
brutal rights was made into ascreen, a screen of film, which
I have to go see now. She sayswildness is not a lack of
(36:27):
civilization or law, it's anaccess and access, excuse me, of
spirit that cannot be contained.
While this is not a lack ofcivilization or law, it's an
excess of spirit that cannot becontained. Right. And that's
like the sacredness part of it.
(36:47):
So you're the way to get hereand to tie it into your life
this coming new year,especially, is to throw out the
goddamn box of all of the thingsthat you thought you it needed
to look like, right, but youhave to sift through that you
have to know what the walls ofthe boxes are.
And you have to be able todefine and this is the shift
(37:08):
number one, you have tonormalize what you've been
internalizing, you have toconfront the story, you have to
define what the box is for you,you have to be able to
articulate and see the box andput it out on the table without
judgment so that you know whatyou're wanting to redefine,
because if you don't know thethoughts, then they're just
gonna keep coming up. Like ifyou don't expose them.
One of the things that alcoholallows you to do, and the act of
(37:32):
rebellion that you don't knowhow to do on your own, right,
and you get curious and you getcompassionate about yourself
that it feels a little strangeand awkward to put on a new
outfit to maybe like just dressup while you're at home, right?
Like sometimes I just dress upwhen we're having dinner at home
and play music for everyone likethis is my ability to act in my
(37:55):
wild woman nature, or go out fora hike by myself or take a pole
dancing class, right? So theseare all actions
that we can take.
But we can also change ourthoughts about what's possible
about the way we're even showingup when we're at home, right
(38:17):
like on Christmas Eve. I likeMatthew was off. And we our
Christmas plans got shot becausewe had this huge ice storm out
here, we were supposed to haveeveryone over for a big family
gathering, which we were reallyexcited about. And we ended up
having our own celebration, butlike I spent the majority of the
morning, kind of like doing someritual stuff by myself. And you
(38:38):
know, the wild woman in me alsoit creates the sacred ritual for
an offers it to the family toparticipate in, in a new way.
Right. So I spent the morning inritual by myself. And that was
the my wild woman. So it's likeyour thoughts about how you
think you need to show up whenyou're in certain places and how
(39:00):
you need to behave. Andyou know, it's like, all you're
doing like when you're at homedrinking is it's creating that
party of one in your head.
Right? We're all you need toreally do is change your
thoughts about the way you'reshowing up that you've defined,
because you're like, I gottacook. I gotta do this. I got to
(39:22):
do that, that unsolicited to dolist. Like you don't have to do
any of that none of it. It's alla choice.
And it actually will not be adisservice to anyone if you
choose to say no, in fact, it'sa benefit. It was like such a
bet I had such a great eveningand then Christmas day like I
was so much more present andfelt Christmas really isn't my
(39:44):
thing. I celebrate the solstice.
So like, but I was thereengaging and it was an
opportunity, you know, to be incelebration and ceremony with my
family and like everyone's off.
But I was so much moreWere willing and available and
just like enlivened, because Ihad taken that, that time, that
sacred rebellion time, writewhat's important to me in a way
(40:08):
that I deem appropriate, right.
And like, I saw Matthew kind ofpouting around a little, because
I don't think he knew what to doit himself, but he never asked
me like, hey, let's findsomething like, I'd love to do
something with you right now.
And so like, if he wants to,like, have a different, you
know, a different outcome, thenhe needs to ask for that. And we
(40:29):
played a bunch of games, we gota couple new games for
Christmas.
Which is so fun.
So you have to follow yourdesire through your body, you
have to let your body leadinstead of the alcohol is
shutting it down.
(40:49):
So the sacred regarded withgreat respect, you have to see
that this desire in youis you is your temple body is
the way you experience yourlight. And you have to look at
that.
And regard it with greatrespect. And alcohol is actually
doing the opposite. It'sdisregarding it with disrespect.
(41:11):
Right? Now, I don't say that wedon't want to add more negative,
like, feel connotations to thealready, you know, the judgment
around it. But when you shiftthat, and we look at i, this is
an act of respect, right? Not,I'm just we don't say I'm
disrespecting my body withalcohol. It's like, I'm
respecting my body, by allowing,by finding an outlet for my
(41:34):
desires in a new way, by Re byredefining the story by throwing
the box away by not, you know,by breaking free of the box,
your emotions are your interminal compass, right? Like,
you don't want to just followthem blindly. And not question
them, which is kind of what wedo from the day we're born. And
(41:55):
then we just see like, Oh,someone's like, oh, you can do
this to have fun, or you can dothis to relieve stress or
whatever. But when you when youlearn the sacred act of
rebellion through the journey ofawakening, your emotions are
your internal compass, that,that you learn to trust you
learn to be in relationship withand it is a practice, right. And
(42:15):
right now you're not in practiceof that you're not in practice
of being in relationship withyourself. You are but in in a
way that's like, hasn't beenserving you. And it's been based
on what lots of other peoplehave deemed appropriate for you.
Right? And we're not we're notwasting our time shaming or
(42:35):
blaming them. But that's justthe reality, right? The
influences and the conditioningthat you've been under until
now. Sohow do you want to express
yourself? This is freedom. Thisis exploration. This is the end
to boredom, right? Alcohol islike perpetuating boredom. This
is the end of boredom. What issacred rebel in look like for
(42:57):
you? This New Year's Eve? Right?
Like?
What does that look like? Right?
Maybe that's you doing a ritualwith yourself? Right? Maybe
that's self pleasure. Maybethat's you buying a Yoni egg and
working with that a Yonicrystal.
(43:18):
I'll put Sabrina's info in this,the show notes because she has a
whole program about teachingwomen how to dive deeper into
that part of, of connecting withthe sacredness of the womb,
which was like, Oh, we could goon like, that's the wild woman,
right? And so the next time youwant to rage it, and you think
(43:42):
your only choice is happy hourwith your colleagues.
I want you to follow thatdesire, and really say like,
what is this yearning foralcohol? What is the desire that
I really want? Right? I want tocheck out from these
responsibilities, but what'sanother way to do that, so you
(44:02):
get to be creative, and that'sthe exploration that we also do
together.
I've talked about this on theshow before and I'm gonna give
you this and I don't talk aboutsubstitute. I don't like my I
don't like fake alcohol. But Ido like elixirs and I do you
know as an L is like analchemical process, and I like
tasty beverages. And I've talkedabout pomegranate juice before.
(44:24):
So the pomegranateis a representation of life and
death and fertility andmarriage. And if you can get a
pomegranate they're usuallyfresh this time of year, this
the winter time in the in theNorth.
The northern hemisphere, havinga ritual with a pomegranate of
(44:48):
you know, and it's kind of thisalso this representation of the
fertile womb, right? You open itand it's this juicy blood red
that has been demonized as inPure gross a problem. And you
open it to these like lushseeds.
Make sure you like cut it openin a bowl, I like to roll my
(45:09):
pomegranate out first like rollit out because it gets the seeds
loose, put it in the bowl andthen take a knife and cut it and
then just squeeze it and you'llget the juice out in this drink
that fresh juice. And this isthe sacred act of rebellion.
Like the it is earthy and takeit's like dirt like there's just
like this dirt. Really I knowthat doesn't sound appetizing,
(45:32):
but it is it's like so it's soearthy, and juicy and sweet and
bitter. And that's how you canplease your senses. Right,
that's how you can findpleasure.
And you can decide right now howyou want and then maybe you make
a playlist, and you get yourfamily to have a party with you.
(45:56):
So I also like to use thepomegranate juice and I would
just buy a thing of 100%pomegranate juice and put
mulling spices in it, you can doit in two ways you can have it
hot.
So heated up, you can have ithot, and maybe add a little
water to it or a tea bag. I likeit with black tea like so half
and half it you put halfpomegranate juice, half water,
(46:18):
the mold and with a tea bag. Andalso you can make it into a
spritzer where you can have youknow a quarter pomegranate juice
and then soda water sparklingwater. You can put rosemary, you
can put orange in it. And it'sthis gorgeous drink. It's
beautiful, the color, it has somuch aromatic. And it's really a
(46:42):
deep connection to the earth andthink about doing it. Like this
is a ritual to remember likethis is the ritual you will
actually literally remembertomorrow, the next day, they
will carry you in and like youcould eat the pomegranate seeds
and what like when you eat eachseed, what do you want that to
(47:02):
represent for you? What do youwant to plant inside of you as a
sacred act of rebellion.
For the new year, for yourjourney of awakening, for
exploring what is reallyavailable to the wild woman. One
last thing I did Jade andfacilitated my first ecstatic
(47:27):
dance on the solstice. So I wantyou to know that there is going
to be more of this and anoffering for you to come and sit
in circle and in ritual with meand then explore the body.
I thought of you the entire timebecause it was so surreal. It is
something I've only ever dreamedof. I've facilitated many
(47:48):
women's circles and it was inconjunction with CO facilitator
freedom Ciavarella who's been onthe show who's also part of my
program. There's upan offering from her as a
magical mentor. In there she isa cacao ceremony, listen and
Alchemist and she's also a coachas well. But so she we had a
cacao ceremony, which opens theheart, it oxygenates the blood
(48:13):
to like 80% or something. It'scrazy. And
we had a ritual and a ceremonyand it went through this wave of
this journey. And it reallyconnected us to a lot of the
different archetypes in onesitting. And then the expression
(48:35):
of the wild woman through justorganic movement right there's
no talking on the dance floorand an ecstatic dance and these
waves of how the music moveswith your body right not through
like dance scene, but throughwaves of joy, ecstasy, grief
sorrow, like closing your eyesand connecting into how does
your body feel like it wants tomove. And we've talked about
(48:57):
this several times like if thereis a conscious or ecstatic dance
near you or cacao ceremony go,but I'm definitely going to have
this as an offering in the newyear it'll obviously have to be
virtual but I will be doing moreof that live as well.
I it was a something that wouldnever have been possible a if
(49:17):
alcohol was in my way. Andwithout the five shifts. I
continue to use the five shiftsto literally make my dreams come
true. I mean, seriously, girl,ecstatic dance DJ, I mean, I'm
out playing a playlist here. I'mlike mixing songs. I've got a
lot of work to do. But like, itwas so powerful, and so
(49:40):
overwhelming to see peoplemoving through these expressions
through the way that I was, youknow, I mean, the whole thing
like the energy of the spacethat we created, then through
these waves of music and knowingthe experience I've had on the
dance floor, and like I did it Ishowed up I did the train I was
actively participating inMy transformation and in my
growth without objections of thebox that someone else deemed
(50:04):
appropriate for me, right, I canhave an objection that I'm too
old that it's I don't have timethat all these things, I have
other responsibilities. And Idid it because I use the five
shifts. And now I'm a DJ.
And I'm still playing with my DJname. If you have any
suggestions for me, you can letme know. But I think because you
(50:24):
know, in in, like, circle, youknow, it's like a sacred
sisterhood.
And just to play as like alittle bit of sense of humor,
but also in reverence of, I'vebeen thinking about Sister Mary,
as my DJ name, just sister,Mary. And all you know, with the
robes and the hood andeverything, and I have a little,
(50:45):
I'm a devotee of Mother Mary andher energy, and her guidance,
and I have this like, discomother, Mary, that lights up
that I had on my DJ Booth wasawesome. Or my DJ table. So this
is what's possible for youthrough the act of sacred
rebellion through the archetypeof the wild woman, and you're
(51:06):
gonna hear more about this, andlike, this is kind of,
you know, really my thesis aboutalcohol, here. And now. So
you're hearing it, and I wouldlove to take you and help and
support you through thisawakening, because it's
priceless. It's your life. Like,there's no achievements that you
(51:27):
could have out there, ratherthan the, the achievement of
permission to grow, to explore,to see what is available to you
in this life, right? Likealcohol becomes such it's like
so little part of the journey,like you see that right now.
It's like the biggest part ofthe journey, right? It's in your
face, it's a boulder. It'scompletely overwhelming you. But
(51:50):
it really is such a small partof it when you work through this
lens through the lens ofcoaching through the lens of
exploration.
Because we're not trying tofigure out how to fit alcohol
into your amazing life. Right?
It's not like, Oh, if I can justdo it here, there, right? Like
the moderation. Myth is justlike limiting. It's so limiting.
Even that's limiting, becauseit's like, we just want to see
(52:11):
what happens when alcohol is notimportant to you. And then you
can decide, like, do I want todrink like you can totally
decide I mean, then you're stillyou're playing with fire because
the the pathways in your brainhave already been worn. The
association and like alcohol isa drug. It's an addictive drug,
that those are the facts. Solike, that's why it's like
(52:33):
playing with fire isn't like,oh, I fall off the wagon. I go
right back. Like that's not howit works here either. Because
you grow your awareness, and youhave the practice of embodiment.
But like it's playing with firebecause alcohol is a drug and
drugs we get addicted to thehuman gets addicted to so just
like so you have that. Tell mewhat your ritual was, I would
love to know I would love togive you a shout out on the
(52:54):
podcast and make sure you gocheck out the link in the show
notes or just go to my websiteto sign up for that special
offer for the month of January.
We can meet we can coach you canblow your own mind. It's going
to be amazing. Have a wonderful,wonderful, Happy New Year. Hi,
it's Mary Wagstaff. I want topersonally invite you to spend
(53:15):
one hour with me one on one.
Because you deserve to knowwhat's holding you back is your
time. Alcohol has had its fairshare. We're going to talk about
possibilities about how to alignyour thoughts and actions with
your dreams and what mattersmost to you about why alcohol is
no longer suited for the lifeyou want to live. How you can
(53:35):
get on the fast track to freedomfrom alcohol and stay there
without deprivation. Follow thelink in the show notes or on my
website Mary Wagstaff coach.comTo schedule your complimentary
call and get a new perspectiveon an old habit.
Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing alcohol, that
you are longing for a deeperconnection to life? If alcohol
is keeping you playing small andfeels like the one area, you
just can't figure out you are inthe right place. Hi, my name is
Mary Wagstaff. I'm a Holisticalcohol coach who ended a 20
year relationship to alcoholwithout labels, counting days or
(00:23):
ever making excuses. Now I helppowerful women just like you
eliminate their desire to drinkon their own terms. In this
podcast, we will explore therevolutionary approach of my
proven five shifts process thatgets alcohol out of your way by
breaking all of the rules, andthe profound experience that it
is to rediscover who you are onthe other side of alcohol. I am
(00:48):
so thrilled to be your guide.
Welcome to your journey ofawakening. Welcome back to the
show my beautiful listeners, I'mso thrilled that you're here. If
you're new welcome in to oursacred circle of exploration.
Today's episode is a really,really important one. And I've
alluded to it a lot in mycontent. But like, it is
(01:08):
something that over the lastcouple of weeks, I had a huge
breakthrough, not only withyou know, kind of my thesis for
this work, but me personally,under the you know, under the
the idea of sacred rebellion andwhy this is so, so important in
(01:28):
our conversation and in yourjourney away from alcohol. And
we're going to bring it fullcircle to, to how to use this
concept in real time. Right now,if you're listening to this
December 28 2022.
into creating a ritual you willremember for the new year,
before we get on with that Ireally wanted to just make sure
(01:51):
you knew about a new offeringthat I've added to for you, and
for the new year. And it'savailable right now. And so you
can get in there. So in additionto the complimentary
consultations, which I have foryou to, to see if my extended
one on one awakening beyondalcohol program, is the right
(02:14):
fit for where you are. So Ireally help you in those
consultations, articulate theproblem, right what you see as a
problem to help you articulatethat and see where you're stuck,
and help you reallysee that all of your past
attempts have no bearing onwhat's possible for the future
when we utilize the tools of thefive shifts process. Right. So
(02:38):
so many people come to thoseconsultations without having
like, their biggest thing is thebelief in themselves that why
will this time be different. Sowe talk about how the five
shifts is different and how thethe perspective that you have
about why you're stuck.
Is,is not supporting you're getting
(02:59):
unstuck, right. And thentogether, we really look at
making, you know, I talk to youabout the program and show you
and together we there's aconsent for making a decision
about moving forward. But youknow, that you want your success
is inevitable, and you're readyto really anchor that commitment
into being an active participantbecause your
(03:25):
your dedication to learning anew way and learning and
applying these tools withaccountability with a safe space
that you can trust, and thenevaluating your results. And
having that ongoing support isreally like the only way that we
learn anything in life is bycontinuously reapplying it
and being willing to fall andget up. Matthew told me this
(03:47):
quote yesterday, it wassomething like he had listened
to it was congratulations onfailing most people never try,
you know. So it's it'sredefining what it means to fail
and that you're not when youwhen you sign up for an extended
participation. You're notstopping and starting over
because we don't count days,right? We really we look at the
(04:10):
circumstances and you generateevidence based on the
circumstance.
And your thoughts about it,right. So you're already you're
gaining momentum, not just anumber of a day.
And I was inspired to do thisnew offering, which is a one
time one on one holistic alcoholcoaching call with me which is
(04:30):
what you would get on a weeklybasis inside of the program.
And this is there is a specialthat I'm running for January for
2023 for $23 where you can comeand see what the amazing impact
of the five shifts process inreal time. So this is the
quickest shift in the shortestamount of time. It's quantum,
(04:53):
right like you are going to getin we've already created a
consent for coaching. We'regoing to look at your mind I'm
going to guide you through theresistance that you're feeling
Your body when it comes time todrink, and really see where your
mind takes you and thatresistance so we can create a
new conversation and have yougetting over a hump, where you
are where you're feeling thatand really anchoring it into
(05:14):
your body having the experienceof holistic alcohol coaching
with me. I mean, no one elsedoes this work besides me,
because it's just me. So I justwanted you to know that's there.
And both of these offerings areavailable in the link inside of
the show notes. But it's thisalso this container to explore,
to be seen to be heard to bevulnerable without judgment. And
then in a way that you have anew beauty, you have that new
(05:36):
perspective to take with you tostart applying. So you've
actually experienced it becausethe downfall of dry January is
really the same downfall as youknow, the self help world where
it's like, you take in all thisinformation. But there's no
transformation, right. So if youstart dry January with just the
intention of taking a break andgetting through 30 days, and
(06:00):
then you celebrate the end of itwith a drink, which is going to
reinforce the need and necessityand importance of alcohol, dry
January is going to actuallymake can really
can be the opposite of whatyou're going for, it can
actually reinforce andstrengthen the habit of alcohol,
if you don't set your intentionto change your mind. But this is
(06:23):
why I'm giving you thisopportunity right now to get
coached to change your mind sothat you can use dry January as
an opportunity to set forth withthe intention. I'm ready to be
happier without alcohol, likethis is it I'm ready to be
happier without alcohol. And I'mgoing to find all of the reasons
why that's true, and how that'strue. And then you're going to
(06:45):
implement what we're going totalk about today in this concept
of sacred rebellion.
So sacred rebellion, is an ideaof expressing really the wild
woman archetype that has so manywomen stuck in now what in that
question of like, now what youknow that that party girl, the
(07:05):
bad girl, the the one, the partof you that wants to let loose.
And sacred is something that youregard with highest, the highest
respect, and rebellion isagainst what someone or
something has deemed appropriatefor you. So you're regarding and
have the highest respect whatyou deem appropriate for
yourself. That's what sacredrebellion is, my desires, the
(07:30):
way that I make decisions formyself what I deem appropriate
for me, my definition of thatis I'm respecting have the
highest regard. Andunintentionally, we get to this
place where we have a box aroundwhat we deem appropriate, right.
And that's why the wild woman isalive inside of you. But the
only lens that you've been ableto express that through is
(07:52):
through alcohol, right? It is asafe and mean, safe, socially
unacceptable way for you tocheck out, right, but then
you're completely checking outof reality. So there's that
consequence of I'm going tocheck out of my responsibilities
and the day to day life so thatI can go be an independent
(08:16):
woman. But then the the downsideof that is that you're checking
out of what your real desire is,because that desire, that
longing, that yearning to bethat we're going to talk about
the wild woman archetype.
To be that, like, why is thatinside of you, right? Your
(08:36):
desire for for that breaking outand being free and letting
loose, is pointing you tosomething inside of you that
wants to be expressed. But untilthis until now, you didn't even
know that there was anotheroption for that. But I'm telling
you that there is and that thisthis energy that lives inside of
(08:59):
you. If you've ever exploredarchetypal energy, right, we
hear about the made in themother, the wise woman, the
lover, and then the wild womanor the Huntress, there's the
Enchantress. There, these areliving inside of you so deeply.
And you know, this is what makesmy work and the work of
awakening beyond alcohol beyondthe illusion of all of these
(09:23):
boxes that you've set up foryourself. Because you get to
this point of I've checked allthese things off the list, I
have my family, I have mypartner, I have my home, I have
my children. I have my career, Ihave other interests and
hobbies, even alcohol is the onething that I can't get out of
the way. Why will because I haveno way to express myself as a
(09:44):
erotic, natural, independentwoman free of all of those
things that I just listed.
Right? But you've created thisbox and there's so much
satisfaction in there. And somany of those things satisfy
those other archetypal desiresof the maid and the mother the
lover are right.
And then but you get to thisplace and that that part inside
(10:05):
of you that's ready to beexpressed as a fully free being
unto herself, has no outletexcept for alcohol. So when you
drink, you can check out whenyou're drink you, you shut off
the brain that has all of thoseto do lists, right? Like you're
out with your happy hour withyour colleagues and your kids
(10:27):
are at home, or you're out witha night with your partner.
Right, and so and so alcohol isgiving you that out, that you
have the opportunity to give toyourself, but you have put
unintentionally, there's all ofthese boxes and rules and
restrictions, that the processof the five shifts and coaching
(10:52):
helps you also see aren't real,they are boxes created by an
illusion, you know, of kind ofsomething that we've all bought
into.
And like I've said this so manytimes on the show, when we talk
about they and culture andwhatever it's like, none of that
matters, like your brain create,like it was influenced by your
(11:16):
parents, by the church, bysociety, by consumerism, by
capitalism, by colonialism,right. But you know that now and
so, but like those are stilljust constructs. And yes, if you
do something different, this actof sacred rebellion, you are
going to be going kind ofagainst the main stream, but
(11:36):
it's still just an idea. Andwhen you do it, you will realize
there's no real consequence toit. The consequence is freedom.
The consequence is breaking freeof the shackles of the
constructs of the mind of whatsomeone else has tried to sell
you, right. Because when we havethe sacred, when we think we're
being rebellious throughalcohol, you're still drinking,
(11:58):
what they're selling you,there's no act of rebellion,
you're falling right into themainstream of the norm of this
is the only way that I get to befree. Right, you still have the
shackles of consumerism andcapitalism on through the act of
drinking.
And, like, just knowing that isall you need to know. It
(12:19):
doesn't, it doesn't reallymatter, like people are really
good at marketing. And we couldgo all the way back to, you
know, the, the,like inventing the calendar, and
I'm gonna talk a little bitabout. And I talked a little bit
about this a couple of weeks agoabout celebrating the solstice
and how we don't, we don'treally realize that we've
already been given the gift ofritual innately created in our
(12:42):
wild woman newness, right? Sothe wild woman also connects to
the cycles and the rhythms ofthe pulse of nature. And
that is, when you do that, youhave now access to sacred
rebellion to a way of expressingyourself wild Lee, right, like
(13:06):
wild is of nature. And when youconsume alcohol, you're actually
this is why I always say alcoholis a distortion. It's a complete
inversion of the truth becausewhen we consume alcohol, we are
actuallydowngrading and impeding our
wildness we are, we are 14 andinvalidating our natural
(13:28):
emotions, our natural desirethat is coming up inside of us
that wants to be expressed. Nowthe chemical of alcohol
amplifies that feeling. Andthat's why this piece is so
important. It amplifies thatfeeling.
It can when you're drinking, butthe desire for the chemical
(13:51):
creates this kind ofanticipatory excited,
anxiousness. Right. And so isit's when you're not in the
practice of, of letting youremotions and the sensations in
your body kind of be a roadmapto and a compass to like what
(14:12):
what's going on here. You caneasily mistake that that excited
anticipation of just thethe chemical, the drug of
alcohol, as adding more to yourdesire. So in my own personal
experience, and what I see withmy clients is that that there's
a different quality to theenergy of the innate wild woman
(14:35):
wanting to be expressed, versusthe just desire to drink because
there's this yearning that comesup inside of you this of your
own erotic nature. Sometimes itfeels like being turned on.
Sometimes it's like I want tolet loose I need to be out I
(14:56):
need to be free. I need torelease the shaft
goes right. And a lot of that isthe thoughts of your own mind.
And this is why we have to godeeper, right, because you've
created a lot of these shacklesthat are oppressing your own
oppression in your own mind ofwhat's available to you. But
(15:17):
then you add the chemical ofalcohol, and it it really
amplifiesthat like excited energy, but in
a way that's not natural thatwouldn't be there. So the way
that you experience that now isthat the your innate desire, and
a lot of times it will happenfor women during their time of
(15:37):
ovulation.
Where there's an arousal, righteven just like scents, like the
wind on your skin, right, andthis is the wild woman. But
because those sensations andthis is very important, those
sensations of that arousal havebeen associated with alcohol and
(15:59):
with you wiling out raging outright partying.
Then now every time you feelthat you associate it with
alcohol, and so then your brainthinks that's the only option
also, right. So you have all ofthese boxes of
kind of rules that you've givenyourself of why the wild woman
can't be expressed all day,every day. But you didn't, you
(16:22):
didn't have these words for it,probably. And it's your escape,
right? Alcohol has been yourescape away from the day to day
from the mundane from the fromthe, the addition of, of the
cultural implications and theboxes that we put ourselves in.
And these boxes are great. Imean, I love like, I love my box
of my home, you know, andthere's like, it meets so many
(16:44):
of our needs, but the lack andthe yearning, and that void that
you feel, is because you don'tknow how to access
the wild woman through thissacred rebellion through what
you innately want. And this isthe exploration like, I will cry
thinking about it. Because I seeit time and time again, for so
(17:06):
many women. And for men, I seeMatthew go through it all the
time. And he doesn't givehimself permission, versus like
me putting in my two cents,doesn't give himself permission
to go like he is like, I want togo camping by myself in the
woods. And he doesn't do it. AndI'm like, Well, I can do it for
you. You know, like, I just wenton a trip to Sedona, Arizona by
(17:28):
myself. It was over, I wasworking. But there was no meat.
Like it was a pleasure trip, Iwent and experienced and like
people like I've my entire life.
I've been asked, I've been inthe business of sacred
rebellion. Because I've had somany people tell me, it must be
nice. And what I tell them is,it's a choice. And it's a
decision. And so when I went onthis trip, I put all the pieces
(17:49):
together, I had someone come andcare for me. And the times after
school, right? Everyone who hadto get a hold of me, I booked
the Airbnb and I booked theflight like it was it was I
planned it. I saved my money.
And I planned it. Right like,and I made the choice. And all
(18:10):
of the thoughts that come upabout why I can't leave because
I'm a mom aren't true. Right?
What it shows em it, actually,is how to live a life on your
own terms, that I can be a momand an independent woman. And I
come back to Him with all ofthis amazing new information
about what I experienced and theenergy now I'm renewed, now I'm
(18:32):
fresh. So putting, like givingmyself permission to do those
things is actually impacting myrelationships in a positive way.
And then those two get to havetheir time together. Right?
(18:54):
The reason that drinking feelsrebellious is like I said,
because it's been independent,it's a way that you have given
yourself an opportunity to beindependent, leave your
responsibilities to your mind,turn off the mind and the to do
list. And the other thing thatwe go in when we work from the
outside in and coaching is wereally look at that to do list
also. So like there's it doesn'tbecome this tipping point for
(19:18):
you. Right where it's like if Idon't get out here, like it's
not so urgent. You start toweave it into your life. You
give yourself permission forthere to be the both and to be
the mother and the lover and thewild woman. Like this is what
you get to do through this work.
Right that you just we justhaven't seen. So it's an
(19:40):
exploration of blowing open yourperception on everything.
Because you think you can't. Youcan't have all of these things.
You can't do all of these thingswithout alcohol. You haven't
learned how to give yourselfpermission. You have too many
objections for why you can't.
And I see this so muchIn our society, with men and
with women. And the other reasonthat you is like you just might
(20:06):
not know what to do or what elseto do, it's like you haven't you
haven't seen it mirrored to youby your mother, or other women
in society. And or you maybe seeon an Instagram, women are pole
dancing, and you're like, Icould never do that. That's your
thought I could never do that.
Right? The wild woman iscurious. It's like, what if I
(20:28):
tried what would happen, right?
Maybe I get a friend and I go.
So it looks like the other thatit's available to the other. And
fortunately, like we're seeinglike that this is like becoming
so mainstream for the theexample of like, pole dancing,
right. And that brings more insexuality and sensuality, which
is part of it.
(20:50):
And I feel like I've justscratched the surface on it.
This is actually my intentionfor my, I don't know if I have a
word for the year, but is toreally explore what it means to
be a sexual and sensual beingunto myself. Right? Like, even
the idea of pleasure has to comefrom the other. And then you
(21:12):
know, like, self pleasure isembarrassing.
But then then self pleasure alsolooks like one thing, where
like, I've experienced such deeppleasure before in a sound bath,
where my entire body wastingling, or sometimes just
being out in nature and likelaying on the earth.
(21:32):
And there's a woman I had on theshow before where we talked
about Yoni steaming. And I don'tknow what the episode is called
Sabrina have a debt. But Iremember her talking. If you're
into this conversation, golisten to that. This, I remember
her talking about, you know, whyare we embarrassed to explore
(21:54):
our own bodies by ourself withourselves, like, No one's even
watching? Right? So it's kind ofbreaking the ice of that. And I
really think that exploring yoursensuality, your sexuality, your
wildness, like the innateness ofwho you are, your your rageful
emotions, your your deepemotions of grief, and sad, like
(22:14):
all of these things are part ofyour wild woman expression. And
they're, you know, there hasn'tbeen
the opportunity to do it, rightuntil now. So you have to be the
one to figure out how to make ithappen. And that is why I say
your participation intransformation is actively is
(22:39):
required, right? Because thenyou'll end up just not drinking.
And that's why you will feeldeprivation, if you don't
explore these other facets ofwhat's possible for you. And
these boxes that are justconcepts, they're just thoughts
that you feel like you're in,and like you don't have an
option. Right? Like you feellike you don't have an option
(23:01):
that there's going to be a bigupset if you decide, I'm not
going to my in laws for dinner.
Right? Like you think that.
Butthat's not true, right? Like,
and then you get to decide,everyone gets to decide if
that's a problem. Because I knowI don't always go to my in laws.
Because who wants someonesomeplace if they don't want to
(23:27):
be there, right. But I do thingsthat are important for other
people, when they ask even if Idon't want to that has to be
clear. Right? So it's all acreates so many things about
boundaries, and communicationand wants and desires, and
letting other people feelhowever, they need to feel like
if Matthew doesn't really careif I go to Sunday, the Sunday
(23:48):
gathering that they used to doall the time, then that's fine,
right? Then I get some of my ownmeantime. But if he asks and
says this is really important tome, you know, then that's a
different conversation. And soI'm just giving you some
examples of how I've expressedthis in my own life, and the
conversations that we have,where you're opening possibility
(24:10):
instead of shutting yourselfdown by a thought of obligation
of what you think why you thinkyou don't have a choice why you
think your only outlet isthrough alcohol. And you might
have other outlets right thatsatisfy the need of these other
archetypal energies.
(24:31):
But they're not this. They'renot this wild woman archetype.
They're not the expression ofthe raw natural, erotic,
innocent, right, my teachercinta Debbie always says like,
your eroticism is innocent. Itis the most innocent thing it is
what you were born with. Skin toEarth. Right? We weren't born
(24:54):
with clothes on. Experience inpleasure in and sensation And
for her own benefit, right,that's what the wild woman is
for her benefit. Drinking hasmade it acceptable and okay to
leave your kids for the nightand not need an excuse. But, you
know, we need all of these otherreasons like we can only travel
(25:17):
if it's for work, and we have anobligation or a duty for it. The
path of sacred rebellion is thejourney of awakening, at least
it's one facet of it.
And the reason that this ties into your desire for alcohol is
because when you're infusingthat, that yearning, that
(25:38):
longing, with a part of you thatyou've never even explored, that
you didn't even know existed,the need for alcohol goes away.
And it's not throughsubstitution. It's through
becoming whole, it's throughbecoming whole and holy unto
yourself, for yourself by yourself, the sacredness of what you
(25:58):
deem appropriate, the sacrednessfor you, by you of you,
in a way that creates meaning.
Right yearning for something youhave only experienced
in a way of, of what someoneelse has told you has, is
(26:21):
appropriate. And that's why thisis an exploration of your life
of growth of possibility. Now,if you just want to get alcohol
out of the way,and go back to the way things
are, that's part of it too,right? Like you can get alcohol
out of the way and not changeyour life. It's the way that
you're perceiving it. It's theenergy in which you show up.
(26:43):
It's the the objections, and therules and the playbook that
you've given yourself. Rightnow, you could say someone else
gave it to you, but now you'rean adult, and you get to decide,
so that's fine. And there's youknow, there's like that reparent
teen and that unboxing thatpeople talk about or like that
unboxinglike that sifting I don't know
(27:06):
what the term is it term isunpacking. That's what it is
unpacking. Unboxing unpacking.
So you're unpacking right, theseall these ideas. And this
becomes thrilling and thisbecomes exciting. And this
becomes part of your yourritual. Right? Not alcohol,
because there anchors you into adeeper meaning and then you
(27:27):
don't feel like shit. The nextday, you feel amazing. You feel
free, you feel alive. Yourenlivening energy inside of you
that you didn't even know isthere. You know, I've talked a
lot about in the show about myexperience hula hooping that
spiraling up, if you know aboutKundalini, the dormant energy
that lays in the base of thespine, in our spinal column when
(27:47):
the energy rises from the root,right, because right now, it's
like we live in the Root Chakra,it's like we're in survival
mode, we're in scarcity. Andwhen that energy rises, and
lifts up into the other centers,and the other places that we
actually have hormones andother other types of chemicals
(28:10):
are secreted in the body, andglands, and the lymph and then
all the way up into the pinealgland. Like now you're
activating the energy of thebody like Joe Dispenza talks
about this, like these energycenters of the body, there's
actual biological thingshappening at where the chakras
are, right, but if you're justin survival mode, and in go
(28:30):
mode, they go in and then ittakes away from all of the
satisfaction and the magic ofthose other archetypes that you
love so much, because one ofthem is being so neglected. Like
you love being a mother, youlove being a business woman, you
love being a lover and caringfor others. And, and, and
volunteering and being out inthe world. And like the main
(28:53):
energy of, you know, gardeningand, and
sometimes just being, you know,even playful, right?
With your kids, or however thatshows up for your area, like
trying something new.
But when you are in deprivationin these other areas, it takes
(29:15):
away from that. And you've putyourself in a box with all of
your thinking. And that's whatwe get to sift through. Because
it's like, really, your thoughtsare the only box that you've
created, right? And you mightsee, like, you've seen it
portrayed through reinforcedreinforce, you've seen your own
beliefs reinforced and thisisn't like an accident, right?
(29:37):
Like, the peep, like the peoplethat make advertisements and
that make entertainment. Theyknow and they have the same
beliefs too. But it's like it'sreinforced on purpose because it
anchors you into that belief andit creates fear and scarcity and
it creates lack. So just reallypay attention to that. So it's
reinforced by entertainment,religion and other institutions.
(30:00):
This invisible box. But it's nota problem if you know, you just
get to decide, right? And thenyou're going to have all of
these thoughts about being, youknow, going the other way on the
path, like taking your own path.
But that's none of that's true,either. Because there's plenty
of people innovating out there,right? I mean, even the people
that are making the marketingand making the entertainment
(30:22):
they had to take, they had to gooutside of the box, but they've
seen how to do it. So nowthey're just like selling it
back to you. Right, like anyperson that's innovative,
has had to claim like, part oftheir wildness, they've had to
become erect like,unreasonable. And we think it's
unreasonable.
(30:46):
To be to not walk the paththat's influenced by society,
but maybe it's the mostreasonable thing there is. So
you have to claim your wildwoman and the wild woman is that
innate blueprint of a woman,before she was influenced by
society before she was under theinfluence? Holy shit, who is
(31:06):
that woman? Right? Like, this iswhat we get to explore. It's so
fun. It's amazing. And we'reworried about alcohol. Who cares
about the alcohol like that'swhen the alcohol becomes such a
moot point? Who is the womanbefore she was influenced by
society? That is the questionfor the rest of your life. That
is the journey that is theexploration, society, culture,
(31:28):
entertainment, parents reallylike all of the things who am I
before I was influenced bysociety?
What an alcoholkeeps just telling you, it's
okay. You're fine.
No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
She's curious. She's inquiry.
(31:53):
Curiosity is our main our is ourmain like thing. She's, she's in
tune with, like nature, like,there's a compassion in nature.
It's like she's trusting. She'scurious, she's exploring, she's
inquisitive, she decides forherself. She lives in life with
alignment with her values, herdesires in her truth, she
(32:14):
decides for herself, that's themost important piece, not what
someone else has deemedappropriate for her. That's the
rebellion. She knows who she is,she finds satisfaction in the
unending opportunities of changeand growth, like their
satisfaction when it's whenthey're when it's not about
achievement, right? Rather thangetting to some end result to
(32:36):
the happy place. Because youhave that you've checked the
things off the boxes, right?
There might be some other thingsthat you want to achieve.
But like, you have that andyou're still not happy and
you're still not satisfied,there's still this gap. There's
still as long as there's stillthis yearning. So you know,
that's not it, right? Becauseyou have to be in the intention
(32:56):
with the purpose of growth forever. Right? Or, like, the
satisfaction, like the growthcould be in the stillness also,
right? So it's not just likeaction, right? It's like, I want
to get so good at Shavasana. AndI was telling Matthew last
night, I'm like, there are timeswhen, when I feel so good, like
listening to just likemeditations all the time and
(33:18):
doing yoga nidra and like bodyscans and body relaxation. And
then there's times where like, Idon't want to process my
emotions, or like my feelings ormy life in that way at all. I
gotta get out. I gotta get out.
But that's all of it. This islike this multi dimensional
woman but human experience,right? Like, that's why we have
all of these things that thatyou know, that fulfill those,
(33:42):
but the fucking brilliance ofthe alcohol industry is they
have sold you on every singlearchetype that you can find it
through alcohol, right? You canbe sexy, young, innocent, right?
It keeps you young forever,right? How to take a break as a
mom, right? Or even like mom'sthe mommy's wine club, like how
the moms can act, right? Thesacred rebellion of the wild
(34:06):
woman, the lover like that It'ssensual and romantic and the
sunset on the beach. It has soldus on every archetype and we're
drinking it. We are drinking itand getting addicted to it.
Because alcohol is such a highlyaddictive chemical. That like
give yourself a break. Right?
(34:28):
Like, like it that's why it'snot worth it. Like it's there.
And like, it just I mean, itmakes you sick, right?
They have sold you on everyarchetype of desire that is like
you'll never find in there. Itonly keeps you wanting more.
It's like the drug dealer on theother side of the playground.
(34:51):
But there's so much more on theother side of it. And this is
the journey of awakening. Thisis what I'm selling you but I
don't have to sell you on itbecause it's your life. Like I
I'm just wanting to show you theway I'm opening the door for
you, right? I'm like, becauseI've done it, I'm on it, I'm
doing it.
So the wild woman also processesand transforms the past. She
(35:16):
transmutes that she moves inspirals, not just wanting to
repeat and recreate the past.
But she takes the past and shegrows, right she evolves, she
levels up, she can see where shecame from, and learns from her
failure. She is a free spirit,and she's a wild child. She
dresses for her own pleasure,right? And you might think,
(35:41):
like, Oh, this isn't me. No, itis you, girl. Trust me, it is
you. That's why you're drinkingpart of it.
She dresses for her ownpleasure. She doesn't use her
sexuality as a tool formanipulation to get what she
wants, right, because they'vesold us this wildness and
independence in through amasculine lens. Right. And it's
(36:03):
like the wounded masculine. It'snot even the way that the
masculine wants to expressitself wildly and innately.
I found this quote from someonenamed Hannah Kent, whose novel,
brutal rights was made into ascreen, a screen of film, which
I have to go see now. She sayswildness is not a lack of
(36:27):
civilization or law, it's anaccess and access, excuse me, of
spirit that cannot be contained.
While this is not a lack ofcivilization or law, it's an
excess of spirit that cannot becontained. Right. And that's
like the sacredness part of it.
(36:47):
So you're the way to get hereand to tie it into your life
this coming new year,especially, is to throw out the
goddamn box of all of the thingsthat you thought you it needed
to look like, right, but youhave to sift through that you
have to know what the walls ofthe boxes are.
And you have to be able todefine and this is the shift
(37:08):
number one, you have tonormalize what you've been
internalizing, you have toconfront the story, you have to
define what the box is for you,you have to be able to
articulate and see the box andput it out on the table without
judgment so that you know whatyou're wanting to redefine,
because if you don't know thethoughts, then they're just
gonna keep coming up. Like ifyou don't expose them.
One of the things that alcoholallows you to do, and the act of
(37:32):
rebellion that you don't knowhow to do on your own, right,
and you get curious and you getcompassionate about yourself
that it feels a little strangeand awkward to put on a new
outfit to maybe like just dressup while you're at home, right?
Like sometimes I just dress upwhen we're having dinner at home
and play music for everyone likethis is my ability to act in my
(37:55):
wild woman nature, or go out fora hike by myself or take a pole
dancing class, right? So theseare all actions
that we can take.
But we can also change ourthoughts about what's possible
about the way we're even showingup when we're at home, right
(38:17):
like on Christmas Eve. I likeMatthew was off. And we our
Christmas plans got shot becausewe had this huge ice storm out
here, we were supposed to haveeveryone over for a big family
gathering, which we were reallyexcited about. And we ended up
having our own celebration, butlike I spent the majority of the
morning, kind of like doing someritual stuff by myself. And you
(38:38):
know, the wild woman in me alsoit creates the sacred ritual for
an offers it to the family toparticipate in, in a new way.
Right. So I spent the morning inritual by myself. And that was
the my wild woman. So it's likeyour thoughts about how you
think you need to show up whenyou're in certain places and how
(39:00):
you need to behave. Andyou know, it's like, all you're
doing like when you're at homedrinking is it's creating that
party of one in your head.
Right? We're all you need toreally do is change your
thoughts about the way you'reshowing up that you've defined,
because you're like, I gottacook. I gotta do this. I got to
(39:22):
do that, that unsolicited to dolist. Like you don't have to do
any of that none of it. It's alla choice.
And it actually will not be adisservice to anyone if you
choose to say no, in fact, it'sa benefit. It was like such a
bet I had such a great eveningand then Christmas day like I
was so much more present andfelt Christmas really isn't my
(39:44):
thing. I celebrate the solstice.
So like, but I was thereengaging and it was an
opportunity, you know, to be incelebration and ceremony with my
family and like everyone's off.
But I was so much moreWere willing and available and
just like enlivened, because Ihad taken that, that time, that
sacred rebellion time, writewhat's important to me in a way
(40:08):
that I deem appropriate, right.
And like, I saw Matthew kind ofpouting around a little, because
I don't think he knew what to doit himself, but he never asked
me like, hey, let's findsomething like, I'd love to do
something with you right now.
And so like, if he wants to,like, have a different, you
know, a different outcome, thenhe needs to ask for that. And we
(40:29):
played a bunch of games, we gota couple new games for
Christmas.
Which is so fun.
So you have to follow yourdesire through your body, you
have to let your body leadinstead of the alcohol is
shutting it down.
(40:49):
So the sacred regarded withgreat respect, you have to see
that this desire in youis you is your temple body is
the way you experience yourlight. And you have to look at
that.
And regard it with greatrespect. And alcohol is actually
doing the opposite. It'sdisregarding it with disrespect.
(41:11):
Right? Now, I don't say that wedon't want to add more negative,
like, feel connotations to thealready, you know, the judgment
around it. But when you shiftthat, and we look at i, this is
an act of respect, right? Not,I'm just we don't say I'm
disrespecting my body withalcohol. It's like, I'm
respecting my body, by allowing,by finding an outlet for my
(41:34):
desires in a new way, by Re byredefining the story by throwing
the box away by not, you know,by breaking free of the box,
your emotions are your interminal compass, right? Like,
you don't want to just followthem blindly. And not question
them, which is kind of what wedo from the day we're born. And
(41:55):
then we just see like, Oh,someone's like, oh, you can do
this to have fun, or you can dothis to relieve stress or
whatever. But when you when youlearn the sacred act of
rebellion through the journey ofawakening, your emotions are
your internal compass, that,that you learn to trust you
learn to be in relationship withand it is a practice, right. And
(42:15):
right now you're not in practiceof that you're not in practice
of being in relationship withyourself. You are but in in a
way that's like, hasn't beenserving you. And it's been based
on what lots of other peoplehave deemed appropriate for you.
Right? And we're not we're notwasting our time shaming or
(42:35):
blaming them. But that's justthe reality, right? The
influences and the conditioningthat you've been under until
now. Sohow do you want to express
yourself? This is freedom. Thisis exploration. This is the end
to boredom, right? Alcohol islike perpetuating boredom. This
is the end of boredom. What issacred rebel in look like for
(42:57):
you? This New Year's Eve? Right?
Like?
What does that look like? Right?
Maybe that's you doing a ritualwith yourself? Right? Maybe
that's self pleasure. Maybethat's you buying a Yoni egg and
working with that a Yonicrystal.
(43:18):
I'll put Sabrina's info in this,the show notes because she has a
whole program about teachingwomen how to dive deeper into
that part of, of connecting withthe sacredness of the womb,
which was like, Oh, we could goon like, that's the wild woman,
right? And so the next time youwant to rage it, and you think
(43:42):
your only choice is happy hourwith your colleagues.
I want you to follow thatdesire, and really say like,
what is this yearning foralcohol? What is the desire that
I really want? Right? I want tocheck out from these
responsibilities, but what'sanother way to do that, so you
(44:02):
get to be creative, and that'sthe exploration that we also do
together.
I've talked about this on theshow before and I'm gonna give
you this and I don't talk aboutsubstitute. I don't like my I
don't like fake alcohol. But Ido like elixirs and I do you
know as an L is like analchemical process, and I like
tasty beverages. And I've talkedabout pomegranate juice before.
(44:24):
So the pomegranateis a representation of life and
death and fertility andmarriage. And if you can get a
pomegranate they're usuallyfresh this time of year, this
the winter time in the in theNorth.
The northern hemisphere, havinga ritual with a pomegranate of
(44:48):
you know, and it's kind of thisalso this representation of the
fertile womb, right? You open itand it's this juicy blood red
that has been demonized as inPure gross a problem. And you
open it to these like lushseeds.
Make sure you like cut it openin a bowl, I like to roll my
(45:09):
pomegranate out first like rollit out because it gets the seeds
loose, put it in the bowl andthen take a knife and cut it and
then just squeeze it and you'llget the juice out in this drink
that fresh juice. And this isthe sacred act of rebellion.
Like the it is earthy and takeit's like dirt like there's just
like this dirt. Really I knowthat doesn't sound appetizing,
(45:32):
but it is it's like so it's soearthy, and juicy and sweet and
bitter. And that's how you canplease your senses. Right,
that's how you can findpleasure.
And you can decide right now howyou want and then maybe you make
a playlist, and you get yourfamily to have a party with you.
(45:56):
So I also like to use thepomegranate juice and I would
just buy a thing of 100%pomegranate juice and put
mulling spices in it, you can doit in two ways you can have it
hot.
So heated up, you can have ithot, and maybe add a little
water to it or a tea bag. I likeit with black tea like so half
and half it you put halfpomegranate juice, half water,
(46:18):
the mold and with a tea bag. Andalso you can make it into a
spritzer where you can have youknow a quarter pomegranate juice
and then soda water sparklingwater. You can put rosemary, you
can put orange in it. And it'sthis gorgeous drink. It's
beautiful, the color, it has somuch aromatic. And it's really a
(46:42):
deep connection to the earth andthink about doing it. Like this
is a ritual to remember likethis is the ritual you will
actually literally remembertomorrow, the next day, they
will carry you in and like youcould eat the pomegranate seeds
and what like when you eat eachseed, what do you want that to
(47:02):
represent for you? What do youwant to plant inside of you as a
sacred act of rebellion.
For the new year, for yourjourney of awakening, for
exploring what is reallyavailable to the wild woman. One
last thing I did Jade andfacilitated my first ecstatic
(47:27):
dance on the solstice. So I wantyou to know that there is going
to be more of this and anoffering for you to come and sit
in circle and in ritual with meand then explore the body.
I thought of you the entire timebecause it was so surreal. It is
something I've only ever dreamedof. I've facilitated many
(47:48):
women's circles and it was inconjunction with CO facilitator
freedom Ciavarella who's been onthe show who's also part of my
program. There's upan offering from her as a
magical mentor. In there she isa cacao ceremony, listen and
Alchemist and she's also a coachas well. But so she we had a
cacao ceremony, which opens theheart, it oxygenates the blood
(48:13):
to like 80% or something. It'scrazy. And
we had a ritual and a ceremonyand it went through this wave of
this journey. And it reallyconnected us to a lot of the
different archetypes in onesitting. And then the expression
(48:35):
of the wild woman through justorganic movement right there's
no talking on the dance floorand an ecstatic dance and these
waves of how the music moveswith your body right not through
like dance scene, but throughwaves of joy, ecstasy, grief
sorrow, like closing your eyesand connecting into how does
your body feel like it wants tomove. And we've talked about
(48:57):
this several times like if thereis a conscious or ecstatic dance
near you or cacao ceremony go,but I'm definitely going to have
this as an offering in the newyear it'll obviously have to be
virtual but I will be doing moreof that live as well.
I it was a something that wouldnever have been possible a if
(49:17):
alcohol was in my way. Andwithout the five shifts. I
continue to use the five shiftsto literally make my dreams come
true. I mean, seriously, girl,ecstatic dance DJ, I mean, I'm
out playing a playlist here. I'mlike mixing songs. I've got a
lot of work to do. But like, itwas so powerful, and so
(49:40):
overwhelming to see peoplemoving through these expressions
through the way that I was, youknow, I mean, the whole thing
like the energy of the spacethat we created, then through
these waves of music and knowingthe experience I've had on the
dance floor, and like I did it Ishowed up I did the train I was
actively participating inMy transformation and in my
growth without objections of thebox that someone else deemed
(50:04):
appropriate for me, right, I canhave an objection that I'm too
old that it's I don't have timethat all these things, I have
other responsibilities. And Idid it because I use the five
shifts. And now I'm a DJ.
And I'm still playing with my DJname. If you have any
suggestions for me, you can letme know. But I think because you
(50:24):
know, in in, like, circle, youknow, it's like a sacred
sisterhood.
And just to play as like alittle bit of sense of humor,
but also in reverence of, I'vebeen thinking about Sister Mary,
as my DJ name, just sister,Mary. And all you know, with the
robes and the hood andeverything, and I have a little,
(50:45):
I'm a devotee of Mother Mary andher energy, and her guidance,
and I have this like, discomother, Mary, that lights up
that I had on my DJ Booth wasawesome. Or my DJ table. So this
is what's possible for youthrough the act of sacred
rebellion through the archetypeof the wild woman, and you're
(51:06):
gonna hear more about this, andlike, this is kind of,
you know, really my thesis aboutalcohol, here. And now. So
you're hearing it, and I wouldlove to take you and help and
support you through thisawakening, because it's
priceless. It's your life. Like,there's no achievements that you
(51:27):
could have out there, ratherthan the, the achievement of
permission to grow, to explore,to see what is available to you
in this life, right? Likealcohol becomes such it's like
so little part of the journey,like you see that right now.
It's like the biggest part ofthe journey, right? It's in your
face, it's a boulder. It'scompletely overwhelming you. But
(51:50):
it really is such a small partof it when you work through this
lens through the lens ofcoaching through the lens of
exploration.
Because we're not trying tofigure out how to fit alcohol
into your amazing life. Right?
It's not like, Oh, if I can justdo it here, there, right? Like
the moderation. Myth is justlike limiting. It's so limiting.
Even that's limiting, becauseit's like, we just want to see
(52:11):
what happens when alcohol is notimportant to you. And then you
can decide, like, do I want todrink like you can totally
decide I mean, then you're stillyou're playing with fire because
the the pathways in your brainhave already been worn. The
association and like alcohol isa drug. It's an addictive drug,
that those are the facts. Solike, that's why it's like
(52:33):
playing with fire isn't like,oh, I fall off the wagon. I go
right back. Like that's not howit works here either. Because
you grow your awareness, and youhave the practice of embodiment.
But like it's playing with firebecause alcohol is a drug and
drugs we get addicted to thehuman gets addicted to so just
like so you have that. Tell mewhat your ritual was, I would
love to know I would love togive you a shout out on the
(52:54):
podcast and make sure you gocheck out the link in the show
notes or just go to my websiteto sign up for that special
offer for the month of January.
We can meet we can coach you canblow your own mind. It's going
to be amazing. Have a wonderful,wonderful, Happy New Year. Hi,
it's Mary Wagstaff. I want topersonally invite you to spend
(53:15):
one hour with me one on one.
Because you deserve to knowwhat's holding you back is your
time. Alcohol has had its fairshare. We're going to talk about
possibilities about how to alignyour thoughts and actions with
your dreams and what mattersmost to you about why alcohol is
no longer suited for the lifeyou want to live. How you can
(53:35):
get on the fast track to freedomfrom alcohol and stay there
without deprivation. Follow thelink in the show notes or on my
website Mary Wagstaff coach.comTo schedule your complimentary
call and get a new perspectiveon an old habit.
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