March 26, 2024 • 34 mins
In this episode, we are honoured to be joined by the esteemed author and influential thought leader Bob Burg. We explore the transformative concepts behind Bob's best-selling book, "The Go-Giver," which has become a worldwide movement.
Join us as Bob dives into the power of value, clarifies the misunderstood elements of authenticity, and emphasizes the pivotal balance between giving and receiving. You will discover the five laws that pave the path to success and learn how to apply them to foster trust, likeability, and a network of mutually beneficial connections.
Learn More:
www.Burg.com www.GoGiverSuccessAlliance.com
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Social Links:
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and background
02:59 Inspiration behind The Go-Giver
05:49 Dealing with rejection
08:57 What it means to be a Go-Giver
10:30 Setting boundaries as a Go-Giver
14:52 Saying no respectfully
22:04 The 5 Laws of Stratospheric Success
25:50 The Law of Authenticity
31:06 Rapid Fire Questions
33:55 Conclusion
Other Show Links:
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https://www.teriholland.ca/offers/Wn7BY8YD
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bob Burg (00:00):
When you can take your focus off yourself and place it on
(00:02):
helping others solve and overcometheir challenges and their problems.
When you can move off of yourselfand make it about moving another
person closer toward happiness.
People feel good about you, they feelgreat about you, they want to get to
know you, they like you, they trust you,they want to be in relationship with you,
they want to do business with you, butthey want to tell the world about you,
(00:26):
for over 30 years, Bob Burg has beensuccessfully showing entrepreneurs,
leaders, and sales professionalshow to communicate their value and
accelerate their business growth.
Although for years he was best known forhis sales classic, Endless Referrals.
It's his business parable, The GoGiver, co authored with John David Mann,
that has created a worldwide movement.
(00:49):
While part of a four book series,The Go Giver itself has sold more
than 1 million copies and beentranslated into 30 languages.
It was rated number 10 on Inc.
Magazine's list of the mostmotivational books ever written.
And it was on HubSpot's 20 mosthighly rated sales books of all time.
Bob is founder of the GoGiver SuccessAlliance, an online mentorship
(01:11):
community for successful entrepreneurs,leaders, and sales professionals.
And he publishes a verypopular daily impact email.
He is an advocate, supporter, anddefender of the free enterprise system,
believing that the amount of moneyone makes is directly proportional
to how many people they serve.
He is also an unapologetic animalfanatic and served on the board of
(01:34):
directors of Furry Friends Adoption andClinic in his town of Jupiter, Florida.
(01:55):
Are you ready to unleashyour voice to the world?
Do you have a story to share, butyou're not sure where to start?
Join me for the five daylauncher podcast challenge.
This is an extensive five dayjourney where you will learn
everything you need to know tolaunch your own podcast successfully.
From crafting captivating contentto mastering the technical
(02:16):
side of recording, editing, andpublishing, we've got you covered.
Don't miss this opportunity to turnyour passion into a powerful podcast.
Sign up now and let's kickstartyour podcasting journey together.
All the information is in the show notes.
Teri Holland (02:31):
Hi, Bob.
Welcome to Success in Mind.
Thank you for joining me today.
Bob Burg (02:35):
Hello, Teri.
My pleasure and honor.
Teri Holland (02:38):
I have to tell you, I've really been looking
forward to this interview.
I first read The GoGiver, I think in 2018.
And it's been a book that I have readseveral times since, and I recommend
it and I gift it to many of my clients.
So it's been a big part of my life since
Bob Burg (02:55):
2018.
Well, thank you.
That means a lot to me to know that.
Thank you.
Teri Holland (02:59):
Thank you.
What was the inspirationbehind the GoGiver?
Bob Burg (03:04):
Well, many, many years ago, back in the early to mid 90s,
I had a book out called EndlessReferrals, and the subtitle was Network
Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales.
So, it was really written forentrepreneurs and salespeople
who, you know, they knewthey had a a great service.
They knew it brought lots of valueto those they serve, but they didn't
(03:25):
necessarily feel comfortable going outinto their local communities and building
the kinds of relationships where peoplewould want to do business with them
directly and, or refer them to others.
So, uh, endless referrals was a system.
You know, process for doing so the,the, the premise was that all things
being equal, people will do businesswith and refer business to those
(03:46):
people they know, like, and trust.
So, uh, you know, it was a how tobook and, uh, it was fortunately
very successful, but, youknow, I always loved reading.
Business parables.
I have, since I've, I've been insales, I have loved reading them.
I think we all know that stories, theyconnect with people on a deeper level
and more of a heart to heart level.
(04:07):
And I thought, wouldn't it be great if wecould, you know, take that basic idea in
endless referrals, but put it in a story.
So, uh, you know, over the next, uh,you know, 10 years or so, nothing really
happened with it, but I, yeah, I kindof had some ideas in my head and had
a very, uh, uh, a very rough idea of astoryline, but nothing at all developed.
(04:30):
But I, I, um, got to meet John DavidMann, my eventual coauthor, because he
was the editor in chief of a magazine Iwas writing for doing a monthly column.
And even back then, I mean,John had a great career.
Great reputation in his nicheas being a brilliant, brilliant
writer and storyteller.
And he was such a greatguy and fantastic editor.
And I just asked him if he would,you know, take a look at this idea,
(04:52):
what he thought of it and so forth.
So, um, you know, he was even,you know, he was busy at the time,
but because of the relationshipwe'd built, uh, when he and his.
Well now wife, but then fianceAna, they were down visiting her
mom on the other side of Florida.
Uh, they took a four hourdrive over one afternoon.
We had about a three hour dinner, thethree of us, and just talked about the
(05:12):
book and what it would be about and whatwe'd expect to have happen and so forth.
And a few weeks later he calls.
He said, you know, I don't know.
I've talked it over.
We think this is a good idea.
Let's, let's do this.
So we, uh, you know, we wrote the story.
And when I say we, he gets the credit.
He, I mean, this guy.
Great, an amazing storyteller, uh,and, and entrepreneur, but, um, but
(05:33):
you know, the big thing was it didn'ttake long to actually write the book.
What took longer was the year and 24rejections from New York publishing
houses along the way before we finallyfound our, our publishing partner, who
was, has been absolutely wonderful.
Teri Holland (05:49):
I'm, I'm curious, when you were going through that, that year and
getting all of those rejections, how didyou, how did you keep going through that?
Bob Burg (05:58):
Um, well, you know, I mean, I don't think rejections are, are ever
fun, um, but they're part of life, andthey're part of success, and, you know,
what we all want to be able to do is learnfrom them and, and grow with them, and.
So we, you know, we just said,Hey, you know, let's, let's look
at these and decide, first of all,you know, which are, which are the
(06:19):
ones that are in our control to dosomething with and, and which aren't.
So when someone, when a publishersaid, well, we're just not interested
in doing business parables.
Okay.
That, you know, that's fine.
That's just not there.
That wasn't the right, the right one.
Um, but if they said, you know, we,we liked it, we didn't feel it had
enough of this, this, this, or that.
(06:39):
Okay.
Well, now we said, okay,let's talk about this.
And, and we got together and wekind of got together with our brain
trust and we throw around ideasand okay, can we learn from this?
Can we do something different with it?
And then we would hear something like,and one of the big things was that, you
know, we just didn't do a good enoughjob of sharing our, our, our, uh, sharing
with them, communicating our platform.
(07:00):
Now, when, uh, you know, when apublisher says platform, I mean,
how many people do you know?
We're going to buy the book becausethese are people who not right.
And so I put together a whole new video.
That, you know, to, to do abetter job of it, they were right.
And so, you know, so it was a matter ofreally just not being defensive about
it, not letting our egos get in theway, and looking at where and how we
(07:21):
could learn and progressing from there.
Is the
Teri Holland (07:23):
Go Giver based on any sort of a true story or on,
or any of the characters real
Bob Burg (07:28):
people?
Yes.
So the, the story itself istotally a work of fiction.
But it includes a whole bunch ofthings that actually happened that we
used in the story of the characters.
Um, one of them, the Pindarwas, was loosely based on, uh,
Toronto Canada's, uh, Bob Proctor,who you may be familiar with.
(07:52):
Yeah, he was just a great guy.
Wonderful guy.
Very, um, Prosperity minded, just, just aguy and just wanted to see people do well.
And, and so we pictured Bob andhis attitude and we, we, you know,
we pictured him and the, the, thegreat, well, I'm saying gray hair,
like I don't have gray hair, but youknow, the shock gray hair and the,
(08:12):
but he, and he had that great voice.
And so we kind of pictured him.
Pictured him, then, uh, the, therealtor in the story, Deborah
was, was a compilation of two, acombination of two, uh, people.
One, one was actually a very,very successful realtor.
The other was another very, verysuccessful businesswoman in another field.
Uh, and so then you had peoplelike Joe, who was totally made up.
(08:33):
He was just the average Joe or Joseph,where, you know, we've all been Joe.
Right?
Or we've all been Josephine, it's, youknow, we're starting, we have a good, you
know, uh, we're going to work hard andwe're, we're after it and we're going, but
our focus is kind of in the wrong place.
Right?
And we need that mentorshipto kind of steer us correctly.
So, uh, so yeah, it was sort of like that.
(08:56):
Great.
Teri Holland (08:57):
Um, what does it mean to be a go giver?
Bob Burg (09:00):
Yeah, you know, really, it's simply understanding that shifting your
focus, and I think, you know, Teri, thisis really where it all begins, right?
It's shifting your focusfrom getting to giving.
Now, when we say giving in this context,we simply mean constantly and consistently
providing immense value to others.
(09:22):
Others understanding that doing so is notonly a more fulfilling way of conducting
business, it's way as well, uh, but notfor some, you know, way out there, woo,
woo, magical, mystical type of reasons.
Oh, just give and do good things.
And that, no, nothing thatthat would be magical thinking.
And that's not what this is.
You know, uh, no, it's, it's, it'svery much based on human nature.
(09:43):
When you're that person who canmove your focus off of yourself.
And place it on serving others,uh, discovering their needs,
their wants, their desires.
When you can take your focus offyourself and place it on helping
others solve and overcome theirchallenges and their problems.
(10:03):
When you can move off of yourselfand make it about moving another
person closer toward happiness.
People feel good about you, they feelgreat about you, they want to get to
know you, they like you, they trustyou, they want to be in relationship
with you, they want to do businesswith you, but they want to tell the
world about you, be your personalwalking ambassador, as Sam, one of the
(10:27):
mentors in the story, put it to Joe.
Teri Holland (10:30):
I love that.
Um, can a go giver ever give too much?
Like, is there, you know, can someonebe a go giver and, And also not be
taken advantage of at the same time.
Bob Burg (10:41):
Right.
So, uh, you know, that's a great question.
So, so let's look at thaton a couple of levels.
And the first thing is just to assurepeople that there is absolutely
nothing about being a go giver thatis congruent with being a doormat or a
martyr or self sacrificial in any way.
So, you know, so the first thingwe say, can you give too much?
(11:04):
No, you can give inappropriately.
Uh, you can, you know, you can givefirst of all, in ways that other people
don't appreciate it because it's notwhat they find to be a value, right?
Value is very subjective, right?
Value is the relative worth.
Or desirability of a thing ofsomething to the end user or beholder.
So what we find to be of value mightnot be what another person does.
(11:28):
So when we give only from our own point ofview, right, then we're probably not good.
We think we're givingvalue, but we're really not.
Okay.
Now, when we say about being takenadvantage of, you know, if someone finds
themselves in a, in a pattern, Teri,Not, I'm not saying that, you know,
every so often it's going to happen.
(11:49):
Life is life.
Unless you never leave the home, you'regoing to get taken advantage of at some
time in your life, you know, but ifyou don't leave the home, you're not
going to accomplish anything anyway.
Well, I guess you could now with theinternet, but usually, but, uh, but
you know, but I'm talking about apattern of being taken advantage of.
If one finds themselves in that.
in that place.
It's not because they're a nice person.
(12:09):
It's not because they're a giver.
It's because they're doing things in acertain way that creates the environment
for them to be taken advantage of.
Okay.
And what they need to do is, is,is kind of find out why that is.
And there's always Anemotional payoff to doing that.
(12:32):
Okay.
To being a professional victim ofprofessional being taken advantage of.
Now, again, it's unconscious.
Nobody wakes up in the morningand says, Hey, I wonder who I
can find to take advantage of me.
But no, it's unconscious.
And it's either because youdon't feel worthy of, of not
being taken advantage of.
Or, with some people, it's,it's an attention getter.
(12:53):
Oh, they're such good people, but they'realways taking it, being the pauper, right?
Or, uh, it may be that excusefor not being successful.
I would be successful, but I'm alwaysbeing, giving away, myself away and
being taken advantage of, right?
Or, uh, you know, so again,there, there's always some kind
of payoff, but it's unconscious.
Okay.
And there's no judgment here.
(13:14):
It's just, you know, we allhave our own set of beliefs.
Most of them are unconscious and wedon't know why a lot of the times we
do those things that can sabotage ourown success, uh, you know, through our,
our thought processes and behaviors.
So, uh, so if someone, you know, islistening to this saying, yeah, that's
me, I'm always being, well, firstcongratulations for recognizing it.
(13:34):
You know, being conscious of it is thefirst step to being able to overcome it.
And now you get to startquestioning your premises.
Why does this happen?
You know, why am I always the,the, the, the one involved in
every one of these situations?
Who can I talk to a counselor or someonewho can kind of work with me on this?
Who is right.
(13:55):
So, um, so yeah, so no, to typicallyas a go giver, you're going to attract,
first of all you can attract more peopleinto your life who are other go givers.
But even so, Uh, because of the, youknow, the kind of, and I don't mean
to get too meta here, but because ofthe vibration you're living on, the
creative plane, you're going to beable to really sense out those people.
(14:16):
And by the way, when there are people whomaybe don't want to take advantage of you
in a negative way, but it's just the waythey are, they're go takers, you know,
they're the kind of people who are goingto try to get the most out of you from
the least and keep pushing the boundaries.
You can still be a go giver.
You can still, your goalis to bring value to them.
That's first of all, it's the onlyreason they're going to do business with
you, like anybody else, because theybelieve they're going to benefit from it.
(14:39):
But you can also very politely, tactfully,respectfully set your boundaries and
absolutely respect your boundaries.
Yeah.
It's just doing so in atactful, diplomatic way.
You know, do you
Teri Holland (14:52):
have some advice for how we can set those boundaries or
how to say no to someone in a waythat is respectful and maintains a
Bob Burg (14:59):
relationship?
So, so let's, let's dothis on a couple of levels.
The first I'm going to, let's do a generichow to say no to people and then let's
bring it back to a business situationwhere someone is, Maybe trying to get
you to do more than what was agreed toand you don't feel it's, and I'm not
talking about just, you know, addingextra value because it's something that
(15:19):
you want to do and feel good about.
I'm talking about someone kind ofreally pushing the, the boundaries.
Okay.
So, but let's first do just ageneric, how to say no, because
the more successful you get, themore people want you to do things.
And it's great to be asked.
It's wonderful.
People want you to.
It's an honor, but we, you know, we reallydon't have the time to do everything
(15:44):
for everyone without sacrificing,you know, first our own success,
but also the work we can do for thepeople we're supposed to be serving.
Right.
So there's, so you've got tosay no more than you say yes.
But again, it's how you do it.
So, so let's say for example, somebodyasks you to serve on a committee.
(16:04):
I don't know what kind of committee it is.
It could be a school committee,town committee, business committee,
whatever it is, you don't want to.
It's, it's, it's not thatyou wouldn't want it.
It's that you don't feel it's theright thing to do based on, you
know, what you need to be doing.
So, you know, there, there's,there's different ways people
have taught how to say no.
And let's go over a couple of the onesfirst that I don't think are productive.
(16:27):
Um, so the first one is, is, you know,you hear people say things like, well,
just remember no is a complete sentence.
Well, yeah, I mean, it literally is.
I mean, no is a complete sentence,but it's not a productive one
because first it's, it's rude.
It's impolite.
And when someone asks you to serve ona committee, you're going to say, no.
I mean, is that reallya complete sentence?
(16:48):
Now, what they're saying is,understand that you can say no.
Of course, I agree with that.
But no is a complete sentence?
Nah.
If you do that, too, remember,you're going to turn that person
off because it's impolite.
They're probably not going toask you to ever do anything else.
And you may want tokeep that relationship.
You just don't want todo that particular thing.
Plus, Saying no like that is incongruentwith your value system of treating
(17:12):
people with kindness and respect.
So, you know, I don'tthink that's the best way.
Another way people say is, well,just kind of make up a little excuse.
You know, like, I don't have time.
Well, there's a coupleof challenges with that.
First, you know, you know it'snot that you don't have the time.
It's that you don't place a highenough value on doing that thing.
as you do on not doing that thing.
(17:34):
That's okay.
But if you say, I don'thave time, well, this person
probably hears that quite a bit.
And when they're able to persuasively, uh,communicate why time will not be an issue.
Now you're stuck.
You've either got to say, well,actually I was kind of just fibbing.
I really have the time.
I just don't want to do it.
I just want to tell you that whenthey're going to, they're going
to have a little bit of a lackof respect for you doing that.
(17:56):
And you're not going tofeel good about yourself.
Um, Uh, or you've got to, in order to saveface, you've got to now accept the, uh,
invite, which you really don't want to do.
Right.
And remember too, you know, whenyou say you don't have time,
the person says, Oh, it's okay.
Well, we're going to be doingit again six months from now, so
I'll just come back to you then.
Well, now you just kickedthe can down the road.
(18:17):
So, uh, again, I don't believe eitherof those are the best way to do it.
Here's an easy way.
Here's a very easy way, uh, to say no.
To do it respectfully and tactfullywhile honoring your own boundaries.
They ask you to serve on the committee,you simply say, Thank you so much.
While it's not something I'd like to do,please know how honored I am to be asked.
(18:43):
That's it.
Okay.
Wow.
Um, yeah, you know, depending onyour own style, you can change
the language a little bit.
It might be, Oh, thankyou so much for asking.
Well, you know, it's notsomething I choose to take on.
I, I do appreciate you asking, youknow, however you want to do it.
But the principle is what you'vedone is you've thanked them.
Right?
You've honored them, you've let themknow how much you appreciate that, and at
(19:06):
the same time you said no in such a waythat you let them know the answer's no.
What you didn't do is you didn't make anexcuse for them to grab onto, an objection
for them to, you know, to answer.
Now, there are rare times where, basedon the relationship you have with that
person and what they're asking you to do,that you do need to let them know why.
(19:29):
Yeah.
You know, when I'm, when I'm asked to,um, to, uh, you know, read a manuscript
for a book and put an endorsementquote, you know, at this point I get,
I get, um, don't mean to say this ina braggy way, but I just get a lot of
requests every week and I just can't.
Take those on so I let the personknow, you know, thank you so much.
(19:51):
You know, it's it's such an honorto be asked Unfortunately, you know
because I'm asked several times a week.
I'm not able to take any honor I wouldbe investing 20 hours a week reading
great manuscripts instead of gettingmy work done You know, so this times
yet you kind of have to but most ofthe time you really don't Most of
the time it's just simply, thank you.
(20:12):
Um, while it's not something I'dlike to do, please know how honored
or how grateful I am to be asked.
And that's pretty much it.
And that's a way to say no.
Now let's go back to the businessaspect where let's say you are.
doing some work for someone who'shired you to do this work, and they're
asking you to do more and more, andit's at the point now where it's
(20:34):
inappropriate for them to be asking.
It's not something you should be doing,you know, for the same amount of money.
Now, what you can say to that personis, oh, thank you so much for asking.
Um, I don't believe this is partof what we, Agreed to, um, if you
would like to have me do this,we can certainly discuss it.
Uh, it would be an extra fee.
(20:55):
Uh, is that somethingyou'd like to discuss?
Boom, and that's it.
Now, this assumes youeven want to, to do that.
Otherwise, you would justsay, oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate your asking.
Uh, I don't believe this is somethingthat is, uh, In our agreement.
Okay.
Now, this is also a couple, couplethings here, which are very important.
One is, um, peopleforget things sometimes.
(21:18):
So this is why agreements, writtenagreements are so important.
It's not that you don't trust the person.
It's that.
You know, memories fade and sometimes,you know, you agree to something
and there's a little bit of adifferentiation between what the two
of you remember agreeing to, right?
So when you have it, you know, youcan, you can then say, um, would you
(21:40):
like to look at the agreement andwe can see where we mentioned it.
So again, if you notice the wayI'm doing it never puts that person
on the defensive, never causesthem to feel bad about themselves
or paints them into a corner.
It's always polite,it's kind, it's tactful.
And respects your boundaries.
That's
Teri Holland (21:57):
great.
I, I'm definitely going to use that.
I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Excellent advice.
Could you give us a sort of anoverview of the five laws that, that
you and John talk about in the book?
Bob Burg (22:11):
Yeah.
The, so the five laws are the lawsof value, compensation, influence,
authenticity, and receptivity.
Uh, the first one, the law of valueis all about the, the experience
that you provide this person from.
The first contact, whether it's inbound,outbound over the computer, whether
it's at you met somewhere local,whatever it happens to be from the
(22:34):
minute you meet that person throughthe relationship building process,
the follow up, the follow through thesales process, the referral process.
How do you make that personfeel at every single moment?
Touch point, right?
So that by the time they buy from you, uh,aside from just the product or service,
which intrinsically of course has togive more in use value than what they're
(22:56):
paying, otherwise they would not buy it.
It's, it's more than that.
It's the all, it's the, the all aroundexperience that you're providing them.
It really comes down to how do youmake them feel about themselves, right?
And that's, that's really law number one.
Uh, there should always be You know,of course, two, two profits in every,
(23:19):
uh, exchange, the buyer and the seller,both profit because both of them come
away better off afterwards than theywere beforehand, it would be like the,
the, um, accountant who you hired todo your taxes and she charges you.
Let's say 1, 000, but she and that'sher price right her fee her price,
but the value she provides Well,she saves you 5, 000 in taxes.
(23:42):
She saves you countless hours of timeShe provides you and your family with
the security and the peace of mind ofknowing it was done correctly She gave
you well over 5, 000 in value in exchangefor a thousand dollar price Price or fee.
So you come away feelinggreat about it, right?
And she made a healthy profit aswell, because to her it was worth
(24:03):
it to her to exchange her time, herenergy, her knowledge, her, right?
For that thousand dollars.
So again, both partiescome away better off.
Law number two is the law of compensation.
And this says your income is determinedby how many people you serve.
And how well you serve them.
(24:24):
So we're law number one is allabout the value you provide, right?
Law number two is all about how manylives do you impact with that value?
Right.
You know, Nicole Martin, the, uh, the,uh, mentor in that part of the story
told Joe, the protege law value is allabout your potential income, right?
(24:45):
But law of compensation isyour actual income, right?
And so, uh, we could say, uh,exceptional value plus significant reach.
Equals very high compensation.
Law number three is the law of influence.
Now this one says your influence isdetermined by how abundantly you place
other people's interests first, again,not in a doormat way or a martyrish way.
(25:10):
It's simply understanding asyou and I talked about earlier,
Uh, and as Joe learned fromseveral of the mentors, right?
The golden rule of business that allthings being equal, people will do
business with, refer business to thosepeople they know, like, and trust.
Well, here's the thing.
There, there, there's no faster, morepowerful or more effective way to
(25:30):
elicit those feelings toward you inothers than by genuinely moving from
that I focus or me focus to that.
Other focus looking to a Sam, one of thementors in the story, advised Joe, make
your win all about the other person's win.
Uh, law number four, the law of, um,authenticity said the most valuable
(25:53):
gift you have to offer is yourself.
So in this part of the story, DebraDavenport, and she was the one, she was
the realtor in the story that she was acombination of two, two different people.
Um, she said that, all the skills inthe world, the sales skills, technical
skills, people skills, as importantas they are, and they are indeed all
very, very important, they're alsoall for naught if you don't come at
(26:17):
it from your true authentic core.
But when you do, when you show upas yourself day after day, week
after week, month after month,people feel good about you.
They feel comfortable with you.
They feel safe with you.
And why wouldn't they?
They know who they're getting, right?
(26:38):
And you know, this kind of consistencyis an element of human, this desire, this
craving for consistency in those we trust,uh, that's baked into our human nature.
Uh, and so, uh, yeah, you know, inorder to, to maintain, to, to develop
trust and maintain trust, they'vegot to know who they're getting.
(27:01):
Now, you know, I think one thing aboutauthenticity though, which I've noticed
over the last 10, 15 years since,since social media has really become a
thing is, That authenticity's meaninghas kind of been hijacked a little.
It's almost as though, you know, to beauthentic means you have no boundaries.
Just say or do whatever you want.
(27:23):
Use whatever language, insultpeople, you know, whatever.
Because, well, you'reauthentic, so that's okay.
And I respectfully disagree with that.
You know, that would be like theguy who says, well, I have anger
issues and I yell at people a lot.
And if I was to act any differently,uh, that wouldn't be authentic of me.
And that's hogwash.
That's, that's, you know, that,that simply means that person
(27:44):
has an authentic problem.
Right.
Uh, that he needs to authenticallywork on in order to become a
better, higher, uh, more effectiveauthentic version of himself.
So, yeah, we never want to useauthenticity as a way of, We want
to use it as a way of betteringourselves and stepping into
(28:06):
our highest authentic nature.
I define authenticity very simply.
It's acting congruently with your values.
And I think if you do that,you're being authentic.
And then our, our, um, uh, our last,uh, law is the law of receptivity
and the law of receptivity.
(28:27):
Teri says the key to effectivegiving is to stay open to
receiving what does this mean?
Well, yeah.
Really nothing more than understandingthat, yeah, you breathe out, you
also have to breathe in, right?
You breathe out carbondioxide, you breathe in oxygen.
It's not one or the other, right?
You've got to do both in orderto survive, in order to thrive.
(28:49):
And so giving and receivingare not opposite concepts.
Uh, giving and receiving aretwo sides of the very same
coin, and they work in tandem.
The challenge is that the world aroundus gives us so many negative, Absolutely
anti prosperity messages, uh, whetherit's about abundance, whether it's about
(29:10):
money, whether it's about business.
My goodness.
And so, you know, people getthis again, it's unconscious.
It's from the time they're littlekids, they're hearing all these
negative messages about money.
Uh, and that's, you know, and thatgets in their head at the same time.
You know, uh, so, so what do you,you know, what do you see on TV and
in the movies, the honest people arepoor, but kind, you know, and kind
(29:32):
and the rich people are ruthless andterrible and greedy and, you know,
so you, and that gets into people'sheads when they, they get that right.
But then they're, they're taught,let's say by their parents to be
honest and trustworthy and good.
And, but so now there's a conflict here.
Because they see themselves now in aposition, they're adding great value
to those around them, and they're,they're, they're starting the process
(29:54):
of earning a really good living, but nowthat unconscious comes in, well wait a
second, if I'm making a lot of money,what does that say about me, am I being
dishonest, you know, if I hurt people,what are others going to think of me,
are they going to think of Shane, youknow, and now there's that conflict.
And we know when it comes tothe unconscious versus the
conscious, the unconscious isgoing to win every single time.
(30:16):
So, so, uh, you know, I think, uh,an important thing to do is study.
Prosperity, uh, you know, there's peoplelike Randy gauge and David Nagel and,
uh, Sharon Lector and, um, um, uh, Uh,Ellen Rogan and, uh, Ken Honda and, you
know, again, the late Bob Proctor, peoplewho've written and blog, you know, blog
(30:38):
and have videos and they do teachingsand, you know, study this stuff, study
the prosperity because, you know, thegarbage, the anti prosperity garbage comes
in all the time from everywhere, okay?
We get enough of that naturally,so we've got to actually go out
of our way to, to seek it out.
that good pro prosperity informationand get that into our heads and
(31:01):
get that into our, our hearts.
Teri Holland (31:04):
Excellent.
I have a couple quick rapid fire questionsfor you, if you'll indulge me in them.
Sure, I
Bob Burg (31:11):
will do my best.
Teri Holland (31:13):
Uh, what is your favorite book?
Bob Burg (31:16):
Oh, gosh, favorite, so favorite book of all time, that would
be very difficult, because there arebooks in different genres that have
just helped me immeasurably, you know?
Yeah.
So, uh, you know, I think of, youknow, you think of like, How to Win
Friends and Influence People, whichwas a book that had, you know, um,
it just did, did so much for me.
You think of, you know.
(31:39):
A book like Peace, Power and Plenty,which was written back in 1910 by
Orson Swett Marden, who many considerto be the, the, uh, progenitor of
the personal development movement.
He was actually the founderof Success Magazine.
Yeah.
And back in the early 1900s.
And you know, it's a pagethat talks about, you know,
peace, which is inner peace.
(31:59):
Power, which is inner power, not powerover others, power over ourselves, mastery
of our own emotions of our own, right?
And then plenty, which is abundance.
So it's just delicious gems.
In fact, I couldn'teven write in the book.
I just took notes on the yellowstickies and so forth because it's a.
original version and so forth.
But so, you know, that's certainlyone of my favorite books of all time.
(32:20):
But, you know, I, I read bookson different topics and, and
just enjoy many of them so much.
And I learned from so many of them.
Excellent.
Teri Holland (32:29):
And what's your favorite food?
Bob Burg (32:30):
God, you're asking good questions, but they're tough ones for
me to, you know, be able to answer.
Um, let's see.
Uh, so, oh, I'm trying tothink what would it be?
Be right now.
I've got these, these, um, veganburgers that I'm, that I'm into,
uh, that I'm having like abouttwice or three times a day.
(32:53):
And I'm loving those a lot.
So I'm going to say, uh, yeah, the, thevegetarian or vegan, vegan hamburgers.
It's like my, my junk food that'sactually healthy and not hurting
any, you know, formerly living thing.
Excellent.
Teri Holland (33:07):
They sound great.
And, uh, and the final one,what's your go to karaoke song?
Bob Burg (33:13):
Oh, Mac the Knife.
Oh,
Teri Holland (33:15):
great choice.
Bob Burg (33:16):
Oh, absolutely.
Love it.
It's a classic song.
Oh, yeah.
Mac the Knife.
He was amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shark bites with those teeth.
Teri Holland (33:25):
Well, thank you so much, Bob.
I really appreciate you coming onand spending some time with me today.
Bob Burg (33:30):
Oh, my absolute pleasure.
This is great.
Love the work you're doing andkeep touching the lives of lots
and lots of people with theexceptional value you provide.
Teri Holland (33:39):
Thank you.
Also, if you haven't already, makesure that you join the success in
(33:59):
mind book club, because April'sbook is going to be The Go Giver.
We meet virtually at the end of themonth to talk about the book and
share our ideas and our insights fromthe book, and to also talk about how
we're going to take the principles ofeach book and put them into action.
And The Go Giver is anexcellent book to do this with.
So if you're interested in joiningus and connecting with like valued
(34:24):
individuals, other entrepreneurs, it'sa little bit of networking and then
a whole lot of talk about the book.
the book of the month.
This is only the second month of it.
And I think it's a greatway for us to connect.
So if you want to join that, the linkfor that will also be in the show notes.
Thanks again for being here.
I'll be back again on Thursday.
Have an amazing week.
(34:45):
Bye for now.
When you can take your focus off yourself and place it on
(00:02):
helping others solve and overcometheir challenges and their problems.
When you can move off of yourselfand make it about moving another
person closer toward happiness.
People feel good about you, they feelgreat about you, they want to get to
know you, they like you, they trust you,they want to be in relationship with you,
they want to do business with you, butthey want to tell the world about you,
(00:26):
for over 30 years, Bob Burg has beensuccessfully showing entrepreneurs,
leaders, and sales professionalshow to communicate their value and
accelerate their business growth.
Although for years he was best known forhis sales classic, Endless Referrals.
It's his business parable, The GoGiver, co authored with John David Mann,
that has created a worldwide movement.
(00:49):
While part of a four book series,The Go Giver itself has sold more
than 1 million copies and beentranslated into 30 languages.
It was rated number 10 on Inc.
Magazine's list of the mostmotivational books ever written.
And it was on HubSpot's 20 mosthighly rated sales books of all time.
Bob is founder of the GoGiver SuccessAlliance, an online mentorship
(01:11):
community for successful entrepreneurs,leaders, and sales professionals.
And he publishes a verypopular daily impact email.
He is an advocate, supporter, anddefender of the free enterprise system,
believing that the amount of moneyone makes is directly proportional
to how many people they serve.
He is also an unapologetic animalfanatic and served on the board of
(01:34):
directors of Furry Friends Adoption andClinic in his town of Jupiter, Florida.
(01:55):
Are you ready to unleashyour voice to the world?
Do you have a story to share, butyou're not sure where to start?
Join me for the five daylauncher podcast challenge.
This is an extensive five dayjourney where you will learn
everything you need to know tolaunch your own podcast successfully.
From crafting captivating contentto mastering the technical
(02:16):
side of recording, editing, andpublishing, we've got you covered.
Don't miss this opportunity to turnyour passion into a powerful podcast.
Sign up now and let's kickstartyour podcasting journey together.
All the information is in the show notes.
Teri Holland (02:31):
Hi, Bob.
Welcome to Success in Mind.
Thank you for joining me today.
Bob Burg (02:35):
Hello, Teri.
My pleasure and honor.
Teri Holland (02:38):
I have to tell you, I've really been looking
forward to this interview.
I first read The GoGiver, I think in 2018.
And it's been a book that I have readseveral times since, and I recommend
it and I gift it to many of my clients.
So it's been a big part of my life since
Bob Burg (02:55):
2018.
Well, thank you.
That means a lot to me to know that.
Thank you.
Teri Holland (02:59):
Thank you.
What was the inspirationbehind the GoGiver?
Bob Burg (03:04):
Well, many, many years ago, back in the early to mid 90s,
I had a book out called EndlessReferrals, and the subtitle was Network
Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales.
So, it was really written forentrepreneurs and salespeople
who, you know, they knewthey had a a great service.
They knew it brought lots of valueto those they serve, but they didn't
(03:25):
necessarily feel comfortable going outinto their local communities and building
the kinds of relationships where peoplewould want to do business with them
directly and, or refer them to others.
So, uh, endless referrals was a system.
You know, process for doing so the,the, the premise was that all things
being equal, people will do businesswith and refer business to those
(03:46):
people they know, like, and trust.
So, uh, you know, it was a how tobook and, uh, it was fortunately
very successful, but, youknow, I always loved reading.
Business parables.
I have, since I've, I've been insales, I have loved reading them.
I think we all know that stories, theyconnect with people on a deeper level
and more of a heart to heart level.
(04:07):
And I thought, wouldn't it be great if wecould, you know, take that basic idea in
endless referrals, but put it in a story.
So, uh, you know, over the next, uh,you know, 10 years or so, nothing really
happened with it, but I, yeah, I kindof had some ideas in my head and had
a very, uh, uh, a very rough idea of astoryline, but nothing at all developed.
(04:30):
But I, I, um, got to meet John DavidMann, my eventual coauthor, because he
was the editor in chief of a magazine Iwas writing for doing a monthly column.
And even back then, I mean,John had a great career.
Great reputation in his nicheas being a brilliant, brilliant
writer and storyteller.
And he was such a greatguy and fantastic editor.
And I just asked him if he would,you know, take a look at this idea,
(04:52):
what he thought of it and so forth.
So, um, you know, he was even,you know, he was busy at the time,
but because of the relationshipwe'd built, uh, when he and his.
Well now wife, but then fianceAna, they were down visiting her
mom on the other side of Florida.
Uh, they took a four hourdrive over one afternoon.
We had about a three hour dinner, thethree of us, and just talked about the
(05:12):
book and what it would be about and whatwe'd expect to have happen and so forth.
And a few weeks later he calls.
He said, you know, I don't know.
I've talked it over.
We think this is a good idea.
Let's, let's do this.
So we, uh, you know, we wrote the story.
And when I say we, he gets the credit.
He, I mean, this guy.
Great, an amazing storyteller, uh,and, and entrepreneur, but, um, but
(05:33):
you know, the big thing was it didn'ttake long to actually write the book.
What took longer was the year and 24rejections from New York publishing
houses along the way before we finallyfound our, our publishing partner, who
was, has been absolutely wonderful.
Teri Holland (05:49):
I'm, I'm curious, when you were going through that, that year and
getting all of those rejections, how didyou, how did you keep going through that?
Bob Burg (05:58):
Um, well, you know, I mean, I don't think rejections are, are ever
fun, um, but they're part of life, andthey're part of success, and, you know,
what we all want to be able to do is learnfrom them and, and grow with them, and.
So we, you know, we just said,Hey, you know, let's, let's look
at these and decide, first of all,you know, which are, which are the
(06:19):
ones that are in our control to dosomething with and, and which aren't.
So when someone, when a publishersaid, well, we're just not interested
in doing business parables.
Okay.
That, you know, that's fine.
That's just not there.
That wasn't the right, the right one.
Um, but if they said, you know, we,we liked it, we didn't feel it had
enough of this, this, this, or that.
(06:39):
Okay.
Well, now we said, okay,let's talk about this.
And, and we got together and wekind of got together with our brain
trust and we throw around ideasand okay, can we learn from this?
Can we do something different with it?
And then we would hear something like,and one of the big things was that, you
know, we just didn't do a good enoughjob of sharing our, our, our, uh, sharing
with them, communicating our platform.
(07:00):
Now, when, uh, you know, when apublisher says platform, I mean,
how many people do you know?
We're going to buy the book becausethese are people who not right.
And so I put together a whole new video.
That, you know, to, to do abetter job of it, they were right.
And so, you know, so it was a matter ofreally just not being defensive about
it, not letting our egos get in theway, and looking at where and how we
(07:21):
could learn and progressing from there.
Is the
Teri Holland (07:23):
Go Giver based on any sort of a true story or on,
or any of the characters real
Bob Burg (07:28):
people?
Yes.
So the, the story itself istotally a work of fiction.
But it includes a whole bunch ofthings that actually happened that we
used in the story of the characters.
Um, one of them, the Pindarwas, was loosely based on, uh,
Toronto Canada's, uh, Bob Proctor,who you may be familiar with.
(07:52):
Yeah, he was just a great guy.
Wonderful guy.
Very, um, Prosperity minded, just, just aguy and just wanted to see people do well.
And, and so we pictured Bob andhis attitude and we, we, you know,
we pictured him and the, the, thegreat, well, I'm saying gray hair,
like I don't have gray hair, but youknow, the shock gray hair and the,
(08:12):
but he, and he had that great voice.
And so we kind of pictured him.
Pictured him, then, uh, the, therealtor in the story, Deborah
was, was a compilation of two, acombination of two, uh, people.
One, one was actually a very,very successful realtor.
The other was another very, verysuccessful businesswoman in another field.
Uh, and so then you had peoplelike Joe, who was totally made up.
(08:33):
He was just the average Joe or Joseph,where, you know, we've all been Joe.
Right?
Or we've all been Josephine, it's, youknow, we're starting, we have a good, you
know, uh, we're going to work hard andwe're, we're after it and we're going, but
our focus is kind of in the wrong place.
Right?
And we need that mentorshipto kind of steer us correctly.
So, uh, so yeah, it was sort of like that.
(08:56):
Great.
Teri Holland (08:57):
Um, what does it mean to be a go giver?
Bob Burg (09:00):
Yeah, you know, really, it's simply understanding that shifting your
focus, and I think, you know, Teri, thisis really where it all begins, right?
It's shifting your focusfrom getting to giving.
Now, when we say giving in this context,we simply mean constantly and consistently
providing immense value to others.
(09:22):
Others understanding that doing so is notonly a more fulfilling way of conducting
business, it's way as well, uh, but notfor some, you know, way out there, woo,
woo, magical, mystical type of reasons.
Oh, just give and do good things.
And that, no, nothing thatthat would be magical thinking.
And that's not what this is.
You know, uh, no, it's, it's, it'svery much based on human nature.
(09:43):
When you're that person who canmove your focus off of yourself.
And place it on serving others,uh, discovering their needs,
their wants, their desires.
When you can take your focus offyourself and place it on helping
others solve and overcome theirchallenges and their problems.
(10:03):
When you can move off of yourselfand make it about moving another
person closer toward happiness.
People feel good about you, they feelgreat about you, they want to get to
know you, they like you, they trustyou, they want to be in relationship
with you, they want to do businesswith you, but they want to tell the
world about you, be your personalwalking ambassador, as Sam, one of the
(10:27):
mentors in the story, put it to Joe.
Teri Holland (10:30):
I love that.
Um, can a go giver ever give too much?
Like, is there, you know, can someonebe a go giver and, And also not be
taken advantage of at the same time.
Bob Burg (10:41):
Right.
So, uh, you know, that's a great question.
So, so let's look at thaton a couple of levels.
And the first thing is just to assurepeople that there is absolutely
nothing about being a go giver thatis congruent with being a doormat or a
martyr or self sacrificial in any way.
So, you know, so the first thingwe say, can you give too much?
(11:04):
No, you can give inappropriately.
Uh, you can, you know, you can givefirst of all, in ways that other people
don't appreciate it because it's notwhat they find to be a value, right?
Value is very subjective, right?
Value is the relative worth.
Or desirability of a thing ofsomething to the end user or beholder.
So what we find to be of value mightnot be what another person does.
(11:28):
So when we give only from our own point ofview, right, then we're probably not good.
We think we're givingvalue, but we're really not.
Okay.
Now, when we say about being takenadvantage of, you know, if someone finds
themselves in a, in a pattern, Teri,Not, I'm not saying that, you know,
every so often it's going to happen.
(11:49):
Life is life.
Unless you never leave the home, you'regoing to get taken advantage of at some
time in your life, you know, but ifyou don't leave the home, you're not
going to accomplish anything anyway.
Well, I guess you could now with theinternet, but usually, but, uh, but
you know, but I'm talking about apattern of being taken advantage of.
If one finds themselves in that.
in that place.
It's not because they're a nice person.
(12:09):
It's not because they're a giver.
It's because they're doing things in acertain way that creates the environment
for them to be taken advantage of.
Okay.
And what they need to do is, is,is kind of find out why that is.
And there's always Anemotional payoff to doing that.
(12:32):
Okay.
To being a professional victim ofprofessional being taken advantage of.
Now, again, it's unconscious.
Nobody wakes up in the morningand says, Hey, I wonder who I
can find to take advantage of me.
But no, it's unconscious.
And it's either because youdon't feel worthy of, of not
being taken advantage of.
Or, with some people, it's,it's an attention getter.
(12:53):
Oh, they're such good people, but they'realways taking it, being the pauper, right?
Or, uh, it may be that excusefor not being successful.
I would be successful, but I'm alwaysbeing, giving away, myself away and
being taken advantage of, right?
Or, uh, you know, so again,there, there's always some kind
of payoff, but it's unconscious.
Okay.
And there's no judgment here.
(13:14):
It's just, you know, we allhave our own set of beliefs.
Most of them are unconscious and wedon't know why a lot of the times we
do those things that can sabotage ourown success, uh, you know, through our,
our thought processes and behaviors.
So, uh, so if someone, you know, islistening to this saying, yeah, that's
me, I'm always being, well, firstcongratulations for recognizing it.
(13:34):
You know, being conscious of it is thefirst step to being able to overcome it.
And now you get to startquestioning your premises.
Why does this happen?
You know, why am I always the,the, the, the one involved in
every one of these situations?
Who can I talk to a counselor or someonewho can kind of work with me on this?
Who is right.
(13:55):
So, um, so yeah, so no, to typicallyas a go giver, you're going to attract,
first of all you can attract more peopleinto your life who are other go givers.
But even so, Uh, because of the, youknow, the kind of, and I don't mean
to get too meta here, but because ofthe vibration you're living on, the
creative plane, you're going to beable to really sense out those people.
(14:16):
And by the way, when there are people whomaybe don't want to take advantage of you
in a negative way, but it's just the waythey are, they're go takers, you know,
they're the kind of people who are goingto try to get the most out of you from
the least and keep pushing the boundaries.
You can still be a go giver.
You can still, your goalis to bring value to them.
That's first of all, it's the onlyreason they're going to do business with
you, like anybody else, because theybelieve they're going to benefit from it.
(14:39):
But you can also very politely, tactfully,respectfully set your boundaries and
absolutely respect your boundaries.
Yeah.
It's just doing so in atactful, diplomatic way.
You know, do you
Teri Holland (14:52):
have some advice for how we can set those boundaries or
how to say no to someone in a waythat is respectful and maintains a
Bob Burg (14:59):
relationship?
So, so let's, let's dothis on a couple of levels.
The first I'm going to, let's do a generichow to say no to people and then let's
bring it back to a business situationwhere someone is, Maybe trying to get
you to do more than what was agreed toand you don't feel it's, and I'm not
talking about just, you know, addingextra value because it's something that
(15:19):
you want to do and feel good about.
I'm talking about someone kind ofreally pushing the, the boundaries.
Okay.
So, but let's first do just ageneric, how to say no, because
the more successful you get, themore people want you to do things.
And it's great to be asked.
It's wonderful.
People want you to.
It's an honor, but we, you know, we reallydon't have the time to do everything
(15:44):
for everyone without sacrificing,you know, first our own success,
but also the work we can do for thepeople we're supposed to be serving.
Right.
So there's, so you've got tosay no more than you say yes.
But again, it's how you do it.
So, so let's say for example, somebodyasks you to serve on a committee.
(16:04):
I don't know what kind of committee it is.
It could be a school committee,town committee, business committee,
whatever it is, you don't want to.
It's, it's, it's not thatyou wouldn't want it.
It's that you don't feel it's theright thing to do based on, you
know, what you need to be doing.
So, you know, there, there's,there's different ways people
have taught how to say no.
And let's go over a couple of the onesfirst that I don't think are productive.
(16:27):
Um, so the first one is, is, you know,you hear people say things like, well,
just remember no is a complete sentence.
Well, yeah, I mean, it literally is.
I mean, no is a complete sentence,but it's not a productive one
because first it's, it's rude.
It's impolite.
And when someone asks you to serve ona committee, you're going to say, no.
I mean, is that reallya complete sentence?
(16:48):
Now, what they're saying is,understand that you can say no.
Of course, I agree with that.
But no is a complete sentence?
Nah.
If you do that, too, remember,you're going to turn that person
off because it's impolite.
They're probably not going toask you to ever do anything else.
And you may want tokeep that relationship.
You just don't want todo that particular thing.
Plus, Saying no like that is incongruentwith your value system of treating
(17:12):
people with kindness and respect.
So, you know, I don'tthink that's the best way.
Another way people say is, well,just kind of make up a little excuse.
You know, like, I don't have time.
Well, there's a coupleof challenges with that.
First, you know, you know it'snot that you don't have the time.
It's that you don't place a highenough value on doing that thing.
as you do on not doing that thing.
(17:34):
That's okay.
But if you say, I don'thave time, well, this person
probably hears that quite a bit.
And when they're able to persuasively, uh,communicate why time will not be an issue.
Now you're stuck.
You've either got to say, well,actually I was kind of just fibbing.
I really have the time.
I just don't want to do it.
I just want to tell you that whenthey're going to, they're going
to have a little bit of a lackof respect for you doing that.
(17:56):
And you're not going tofeel good about yourself.
Um, Uh, or you've got to, in order to saveface, you've got to now accept the, uh,
invite, which you really don't want to do.
Right.
And remember too, you know, whenyou say you don't have time,
the person says, Oh, it's okay.
Well, we're going to be doingit again six months from now, so
I'll just come back to you then.
Well, now you just kickedthe can down the road.
(18:17):
So, uh, again, I don't believe eitherof those are the best way to do it.
Here's an easy way.
Here's a very easy way, uh, to say no.
To do it respectfully and tactfullywhile honoring your own boundaries.
They ask you to serve on the committee,you simply say, Thank you so much.
While it's not something I'd like to do,please know how honored I am to be asked.
(18:43):
That's it.
Okay.
Wow.
Um, yeah, you know, depending onyour own style, you can change
the language a little bit.
It might be, Oh, thankyou so much for asking.
Well, you know, it's notsomething I choose to take on.
I, I do appreciate you asking, youknow, however you want to do it.
But the principle is what you'vedone is you've thanked them.
Right?
You've honored them, you've let themknow how much you appreciate that, and at
(19:06):
the same time you said no in such a waythat you let them know the answer's no.
What you didn't do is you didn't make anexcuse for them to grab onto, an objection
for them to, you know, to answer.
Now, there are rare times where, basedon the relationship you have with that
person and what they're asking you to do,that you do need to let them know why.
(19:29):
Yeah.
You know, when I'm, when I'm asked to,um, to, uh, you know, read a manuscript
for a book and put an endorsementquote, you know, at this point I get,
I get, um, don't mean to say this ina braggy way, but I just get a lot of
requests every week and I just can't.
Take those on so I let the personknow, you know, thank you so much.
(19:51):
You know, it's it's such an honorto be asked Unfortunately, you know
because I'm asked several times a week.
I'm not able to take any honor I wouldbe investing 20 hours a week reading
great manuscripts instead of gettingmy work done You know, so this times
yet you kind of have to but most ofthe time you really don't Most of
the time it's just simply, thank you.
(20:12):
Um, while it's not something I'dlike to do, please know how honored
or how grateful I am to be asked.
And that's pretty much it.
And that's a way to say no.
Now let's go back to the businessaspect where let's say you are.
doing some work for someone who'shired you to do this work, and they're
asking you to do more and more, andit's at the point now where it's
(20:34):
inappropriate for them to be asking.
It's not something you should be doing,you know, for the same amount of money.
Now, what you can say to that personis, oh, thank you so much for asking.
Um, I don't believe this is partof what we, Agreed to, um, if you
would like to have me do this,we can certainly discuss it.
Uh, it would be an extra fee.
(20:55):
Uh, is that somethingyou'd like to discuss?
Boom, and that's it.
Now, this assumes youeven want to, to do that.
Otherwise, you would justsay, oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate your asking.
Uh, I don't believe this is somethingthat is, uh, In our agreement.
Okay.
Now, this is also a couple, couplethings here, which are very important.
One is, um, peopleforget things sometimes.
(21:18):
So this is why agreements, writtenagreements are so important.
It's not that you don't trust the person.
It's that.
You know, memories fade and sometimes,you know, you agree to something
and there's a little bit of adifferentiation between what the two
of you remember agreeing to, right?
So when you have it, you know, youcan, you can then say, um, would you
(21:40):
like to look at the agreement andwe can see where we mentioned it.
So again, if you notice the wayI'm doing it never puts that person
on the defensive, never causesthem to feel bad about themselves
or paints them into a corner.
It's always polite,it's kind, it's tactful.
And respects your boundaries.
That's
Teri Holland (21:57):
great.
I, I'm definitely going to use that.
I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Excellent advice.
Could you give us a sort of anoverview of the five laws that, that
you and John talk about in the book?
Bob Burg (22:11):
Yeah.
The, so the five laws are the lawsof value, compensation, influence,
authenticity, and receptivity.
Uh, the first one, the law of valueis all about the, the experience
that you provide this person from.
The first contact, whether it's inbound,outbound over the computer, whether
it's at you met somewhere local,whatever it happens to be from the
(22:34):
minute you meet that person throughthe relationship building process,
the follow up, the follow through thesales process, the referral process.
How do you make that personfeel at every single moment?
Touch point, right?
So that by the time they buy from you, uh,aside from just the product or service,
which intrinsically of course has togive more in use value than what they're
(22:56):
paying, otherwise they would not buy it.
It's, it's more than that.
It's the all, it's the, the all aroundexperience that you're providing them.
It really comes down to how do youmake them feel about themselves, right?
And that's, that's really law number one.
Uh, there should always be You know,of course, two, two profits in every,
(23:19):
uh, exchange, the buyer and the seller,both profit because both of them come
away better off afterwards than theywere beforehand, it would be like the,
the, um, accountant who you hired todo your taxes and she charges you.
Let's say 1, 000, but she and that'sher price right her fee her price,
but the value she provides Well,she saves you 5, 000 in taxes.
(23:42):
She saves you countless hours of timeShe provides you and your family with
the security and the peace of mind ofknowing it was done correctly She gave
you well over 5, 000 in value in exchangefor a thousand dollar price Price or fee.
So you come away feelinggreat about it, right?
And she made a healthy profit aswell, because to her it was worth
(24:03):
it to her to exchange her time, herenergy, her knowledge, her, right?
For that thousand dollars.
So again, both partiescome away better off.
Law number two is the law of compensation.
And this says your income is determinedby how many people you serve.
And how well you serve them.
(24:24):
So we're law number one is allabout the value you provide, right?
Law number two is all about how manylives do you impact with that value?
Right.
You know, Nicole Martin, the, uh, the,uh, mentor in that part of the story
told Joe, the protege law value is allabout your potential income, right?
(24:45):
But law of compensation isyour actual income, right?
And so, uh, we could say, uh,exceptional value plus significant reach.
Equals very high compensation.
Law number three is the law of influence.
Now this one says your influence isdetermined by how abundantly you place
other people's interests first, again,not in a doormat way or a martyrish way.
(25:10):
It's simply understanding asyou and I talked about earlier,
Uh, and as Joe learned fromseveral of the mentors, right?
The golden rule of business that allthings being equal, people will do
business with, refer business to thosepeople they know, like, and trust.
Well, here's the thing.
There, there, there's no faster, morepowerful or more effective way to
(25:30):
elicit those feelings toward you inothers than by genuinely moving from
that I focus or me focus to that.
Other focus looking to a Sam, one of thementors in the story, advised Joe, make
your win all about the other person's win.
Uh, law number four, the law of, um,authenticity said the most valuable
(25:53):
gift you have to offer is yourself.
So in this part of the story, DebraDavenport, and she was the one, she was
the realtor in the story that she was acombination of two, two different people.
Um, she said that, all the skills inthe world, the sales skills, technical
skills, people skills, as importantas they are, and they are indeed all
very, very important, they're alsoall for naught if you don't come at
(26:17):
it from your true authentic core.
But when you do, when you show upas yourself day after day, week
after week, month after month,people feel good about you.
They feel comfortable with you.
They feel safe with you.
And why wouldn't they?
They know who they're getting, right?
(26:38):
And you know, this kind of consistencyis an element of human, this desire, this
craving for consistency in those we trust,uh, that's baked into our human nature.
Uh, and so, uh, yeah, you know, inorder to, to maintain, to, to develop
trust and maintain trust, they'vegot to know who they're getting.
(27:01):
Now, you know, I think one thing aboutauthenticity though, which I've noticed
over the last 10, 15 years since,since social media has really become a
thing is, That authenticity's meaninghas kind of been hijacked a little.
It's almost as though, you know, to beauthentic means you have no boundaries.
Just say or do whatever you want.
(27:23):
Use whatever language, insultpeople, you know, whatever.
Because, well, you'reauthentic, so that's okay.
And I respectfully disagree with that.
You know, that would be like theguy who says, well, I have anger
issues and I yell at people a lot.
And if I was to act any differently,uh, that wouldn't be authentic of me.
And that's hogwash.
That's, that's, you know, that,that simply means that person
(27:44):
has an authentic problem.
Right.
Uh, that he needs to authenticallywork on in order to become a
better, higher, uh, more effectiveauthentic version of himself.
So, yeah, we never want to useauthenticity as a way of, We want
to use it as a way of betteringourselves and stepping into
(28:06):
our highest authentic nature.
I define authenticity very simply.
It's acting congruently with your values.
And I think if you do that,you're being authentic.
And then our, our, um, uh, our last,uh, law is the law of receptivity
and the law of receptivity.
(28:27):
Teri says the key to effectivegiving is to stay open to
receiving what does this mean?
Well, yeah.
Really nothing more than understandingthat, yeah, you breathe out, you
also have to breathe in, right?
You breathe out carbondioxide, you breathe in oxygen.
It's not one or the other, right?
You've got to do both in orderto survive, in order to thrive.
(28:49):
And so giving and receivingare not opposite concepts.
Uh, giving and receiving aretwo sides of the very same
coin, and they work in tandem.
The challenge is that the world aroundus gives us so many negative, Absolutely
anti prosperity messages, uh, whetherit's about abundance, whether it's about
(29:10):
money, whether it's about business.
My goodness.
And so, you know, people getthis again, it's unconscious.
It's from the time they're littlekids, they're hearing all these
negative messages about money.
Uh, and that's, you know, and thatgets in their head at the same time.
You know, uh, so, so what do you,you know, what do you see on TV and
in the movies, the honest people arepoor, but kind, you know, and kind
(29:32):
and the rich people are ruthless andterrible and greedy and, you know,
so you, and that gets into people'sheads when they, they get that right.
But then they're, they're taught,let's say by their parents to be
honest and trustworthy and good.
And, but so now there's a conflict here.
Because they see themselves now in aposition, they're adding great value
to those around them, and they're,they're, they're starting the process
(29:54):
of earning a really good living, but nowthat unconscious comes in, well wait a
second, if I'm making a lot of money,what does that say about me, am I being
dishonest, you know, if I hurt people,what are others going to think of me,
are they going to think of Shane, youknow, and now there's that conflict.
And we know when it comes tothe unconscious versus the
conscious, the unconscious isgoing to win every single time.
(30:16):
So, so, uh, you know, I think, uh,an important thing to do is study.
Prosperity, uh, you know, there's peoplelike Randy gauge and David Nagel and,
uh, Sharon Lector and, um, um, uh, Uh,Ellen Rogan and, uh, Ken Honda and, you
know, again, the late Bob Proctor, peoplewho've written and blog, you know, blog
(30:38):
and have videos and they do teachingsand, you know, study this stuff, study
the prosperity because, you know, thegarbage, the anti prosperity garbage comes
in all the time from everywhere, okay?
We get enough of that naturally,so we've got to actually go out
of our way to, to seek it out.
that good pro prosperity informationand get that into our heads and
(31:01):
get that into our, our hearts.
Teri Holland (31:04):
Excellent.
I have a couple quick rapid fire questionsfor you, if you'll indulge me in them.
Sure, I
Bob Burg (31:11):
will do my best.
Teri Holland (31:13):
Uh, what is your favorite book?
Bob Burg (31:16):
Oh, gosh, favorite, so favorite book of all time, that would
be very difficult, because there arebooks in different genres that have
just helped me immeasurably, you know?
Yeah.
So, uh, you know, I think of, youknow, you think of like, How to Win
Friends and Influence People, whichwas a book that had, you know, um,
it just did, did so much for me.
You think of, you know.
(31:39):
A book like Peace, Power and Plenty,which was written back in 1910 by
Orson Swett Marden, who many considerto be the, the, uh, progenitor of
the personal development movement.
He was actually the founderof Success Magazine.
Yeah.
And back in the early 1900s.
And you know, it's a pagethat talks about, you know,
peace, which is inner peace.
(31:59):
Power, which is inner power, not powerover others, power over ourselves, mastery
of our own emotions of our own, right?
And then plenty, which is abundance.
So it's just delicious gems.
In fact, I couldn'teven write in the book.
I just took notes on the yellowstickies and so forth because it's a.
original version and so forth.
But so, you know, that's certainlyone of my favorite books of all time.
(32:20):
But, you know, I, I read bookson different topics and, and
just enjoy many of them so much.
And I learned from so many of them.
Excellent.
Teri Holland (32:29):
And what's your favorite food?
Bob Burg (32:30):
God, you're asking good questions, but they're tough ones for
me to, you know, be able to answer.
Um, let's see.
Uh, so, oh, I'm trying tothink what would it be?
Be right now.
I've got these, these, um, veganburgers that I'm, that I'm into,
uh, that I'm having like abouttwice or three times a day.
(32:53):
And I'm loving those a lot.
So I'm going to say, uh, yeah, the, thevegetarian or vegan, vegan hamburgers.
It's like my, my junk food that'sactually healthy and not hurting
any, you know, formerly living thing.
Excellent.
Teri Holland (33:07):
They sound great.
And, uh, and the final one,what's your go to karaoke song?
Bob Burg (33:13):
Oh, Mac the Knife.
Oh,
Teri Holland (33:15):
great choice.
Bob Burg (33:16):
Oh, absolutely.
Love it.
It's a classic song.
Oh, yeah.
Mac the Knife.
He was amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shark bites with those teeth.
Teri Holland (33:25):
Well, thank you so much, Bob.
I really appreciate you coming onand spending some time with me today.
Bob Burg (33:30):
Oh, my absolute pleasure.
This is great.
Love the work you're doing andkeep touching the lives of lots
and lots of people with theexceptional value you provide.
Teri Holland (33:39):
Thank you.
Also, if you haven't already, makesure that you join the success in
(33:59):
mind book club, because April'sbook is going to be The Go Giver.
We meet virtually at the end of themonth to talk about the book and
share our ideas and our insights fromthe book, and to also talk about how
we're going to take the principles ofeach book and put them into action.
And The Go Giver is anexcellent book to do this with.
So if you're interested in joiningus and connecting with like valued
(34:24):
individuals, other entrepreneurs, it'sa little bit of networking and then
a whole lot of talk about the book.
the book of the month.
This is only the second month of it.
And I think it's a greatway for us to connect.
So if you want to join that, the linkfor that will also be in the show notes.
Thanks again for being here.
I'll be back again on Thursday.
Have an amazing week.
(34:45):
Bye for now.
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