September 29, 2025 • 25 mins
Ready to heat things up this October? 🎃🔥
Forget haunted houses—this Kinktober is about unlocking new thrills in the bedroom. In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, I’m breaking down 5 beginner-friendly kinks you can explore right now, with a fun challenge for each one.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
✨ The science behind why spanking and impact play feel so addictive
✨ How chastity and tease/denial hack your brain’s reward system
✨ Why Dom/Sub dynamics build deeper intimacy and trust
✨ How erotic humiliation can be playful (not harmful)
✨ Ways to stack sensations for mind-blowing overload
I’ll give you easy “try it tonight” challenges, plus my favorite props and toy recommendations so you can experiment safely and with confidence.
You can find my spicy site here. https://talksexwithannette.com/talk-sex-with-me/
My spicy OF handle is @talksexwithannette
My free spicy handle is @annettetalkssex
Subscribe to my e-newsletter: https://she-explores-life.ck.page/e9760c390c
Ask a question, Leave a Comment: https://www.speakpipe.com/LockerRoomTalkPodcast
My substack: https://talksexwithannette.substack.com/
Use code EXPLORES15 for 15% off all Womanizer Products at Womanizer.com.
Get 30% Off Sex Toys & Lube with code EXPLORES30
at thethruster.com: https://bit.ly/3Xsj5wY
Get your intimacy questions answered, enjoy erotic audio readings and more.
https://talksexwithannette.com/talk-sex-with-me/
Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@annettebenedetti
Connect with us
We are on all the socials:
- TikTok: @ LockerRoomTalkPodcast
- LRT's Insta: @Lockerroomtalkandshots
- Annette's Insta: @BeingBenedetti
- SEL Inst: @SheExplores_Life
- LRT's FB: @LockerRoomTalkandShots
- SEL FB: @ SheExploresLife
- Annette's YouTube: Annette Benedetti
Check Out More Sexy Content:
She Explores Life Website: sheexploreslife.com
Cheers!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast
formerly known as Locker RoomTalk and Shots.
The show has a new name, TalkSex with Annette.
But at its core, this is stillyour locker room.
It's where we strip away shame,get curious, and speak the
unspoken about sex, kink,dating, pleasure, and desire.
Around here, nothing's offlimits.
(00:24):
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends, and of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest, and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome to mypodcast where desire meets
disruption and pleasure becomespower.
(00:46):
Now, let's talk about sex.
Cheers.
Ranglo.
Today's Talk Sex with the Nettopic is five kinks to explore
this Kinktober.
And a challenge for each one.
When's the last time you feltthat rush of trying something
(01:08):
brand new in bed?
The kind of thing that makesyour whole body buzz just from
the anticipation.
Well, this is your moment.
October isn't just about hauntedhouses and pumpkin spice.
It's also about kinktober, awhole month dedicated to
exploring new flavors ofintimacy.
Think of it like erotictrick-or-treating.
(01:30):
You get to open the doors, peekinto fantasies, and maybe leave
with a few favorite kinks younever expected.
Today I'm giving you five kinksto try this kinktober.
I'll break each one down, whatit is, how to get started, what
to do and not to do, and thescience behind why it works.
(01:50):
And I'll give you fun kinktoberchallenges to try every night.
And don't worry, I'll alsosuggest sexy equipment and props
that will help you level up eachkink.
And if you want my step-by-stepguides, an extended list of
kinky equipment to try, makesure you're signed up for my
newsletter.
I'll be sending them out allmonth long.
(02:13):
So I also want to remind you atthis point that I'm over on
OnlyFans, and there I am sharingmy sex and intimacy, demos,
how-tos, audio guidedself-pleasure meditations.
And I'm now offering someone-on-one coaching options over
there.
If you're not ready to commit toa full erotic coaching regimen,
(02:34):
you can have your one-offquestions answered over there.
You can find me there with myhandle at talk sex withinet.
You can also find me over onSubstack doing a whole lot of
the same, minus the coaching andthe how-to demos.
And you can find me there withmy handle at TalkSex withinet.
(02:54):
Of course, you can scroll downto the links below in the
description of this episode.
You're gonna find links toeverywhere you want to find me
and my newsletter there whereyou can sign up.
So check it out.
And I'm excited to see you in myother spaces.
But for now, let's get startedwith five kinks.
You gotta try this kinktober.
(03:16):
Let's dive in.
Cheers.
Kink number one, one of myfavorites, spanking and impact
play.
So what is erotic spanking?
Spanking and impact play areprobably the most recognizable
kinks because they've crossedover into the mainstream from
movies to memes.
(03:36):
At its core, spanking is theerotic use of striking, usually
with a hand, but it can extendto paddles, floggers, crops, or
anything that delivers a mix ofsting and sensation.
So what makes it kinky isn'tjust the strike itself, but the
psychological dance around it,the anticipation, the sound, the
(03:59):
contrast between pain andpleasure.
It can be playful andlighthearted, like a cheeky slap
during intimacy, or it can beritualistic and structured, part
of a DOM sub-dynamic.
Impact play taps into primalenergy, letting partners explore
intensity in a safe andconsensual way.
(04:20):
Here's how to give it a try.
Start light, always withconsent.
But cheeks and thighs are safe,fleshy zones.
Think percussion, smack, stroke,pause.
The pause is where theanticipation builds.
Mix firm swats with gentletouches so the nerves light up
in contrast.
(04:41):
Here are some do's and don'ts.
Do have conversation first.
Safe words matter.
Don't hit the lower back ortailbone.
Do add variety.
Light taps, quick swaps,surprising timing.
That's the secret ingredient toreally good spanking.
(05:04):
And here is the science thatbacks up why it's so exciting to
bring into the bedroom and worthtrying this Kinktober.
Impact Play releases adrenalineand endorphins.
That combo gives the same highmarathoners chase.
Well, only sexier because you'realso mixing in trust,
anticipation, and intimacy.
(05:26):
So here's your Kinktoberchallenge.
Give your partner five spinks,each one unique.
Maybe start with a tap, then asharper sting, then a surprise
pause, then a crusk, then anunexpected final one.
See how much theunpredictability turns them on
or off.
(05:46):
It also gives you theopportunity to explore different
impact sensations.
Partners will often prefer oneto the other.
For instance, someone mightprefer the slap of a hand
delivering a spanking.
Some might like the thud of aheavy flogger.
(06:07):
Some may like the sting ofbamboo.
There is a whole world ofsensations to explore when you
bring spanking into the bedroom.
So here are some of my toy orprop recommendations.
First of all, you're going towant to start with, well,
beginner paddles and beginnerfloggers.
(06:28):
You can find a variety over atlovehoney.com where you can also
keep the price low as youexperiment with my code
EXPLORES15, where you get 15%off.
Now, if you sign up for mynewsletters, I will be sending
you some of my picks forfloggers I've personally gotten
and used in my own explorationso that you don't waste time
(06:52):
getting floggers or paddles orother instruments that are going
to fall short of you and yourpartner's expectation.
And of course, listen.
Keep it simple.
Your hand is free, portable, andalways ready.
And frankly, it's one of myfavorite spanking instruments to
(07:12):
this day.
Nothing feels quite assatisfying as your partner's
hand, delivering both pleasureand punishment.
Kink number two that I want youto give a try this kinktober is
chastity and tease slash denial.
This is your Lochtober special.
Now, first of all, I want toremind you that I have done
(07:37):
many, many podcast interviewsand episodes on Lochtober.
I also have lots of articlesI've written, and I'm going to
be sending them all your waythis month.
So again, sign up for thosee-newsletters because those are
going to be coming up.
But also scroll down to thedescription of this episode, and
I'm going to pop some of thosein there for a quick reference.
(07:59):
But let's talk about it.
What is chastity?
What is tease and denial?
And how does that look for thisupcoming month?
Chastity is one of the oldestand most misunderstood kinks,
and Locktober has made it newlyfamous.
At its simplest, chastity isabout controlling when and how
release or the big O happens.
(08:20):
That might mean putting offclimax for hours, days, or even
longer, or physicallyrestricting it with a chastity
cage.
For penis owners, cages preventerections and release, creating
a constant state of sexualfrustration that heightens
desire.
For vulva owners, might meandenial through toys, app control
(08:43):
devices, or rules a partnerenforces.
The erotic thrill comes from thepower exchange, giving up
control of your orgasm orholding the keys to someone
else's.
What makes chastity hot isn'tjust the denial, but the
psychological tension, theteasing, and the eventual
(09:05):
explosive reward.
So here's how you can give it atry.
Level one is edging.
Bring yourself or your partnerclose, then stop.
Do this two or three timesbefore allowing yourself or them
to have the big O.
That's right.
You can play with denial andchastity with yourself.
(09:27):
You don't have to have apartner.
Let's move on to level two (09:29):
a rule-based denial.
Maybe only one person gets todecide when release happens, or
maybe you go 24 hours with nofinish.
Then we're gonna move on tolevel three: cage play.
Penis owners can wear chastitycages made of silicone, metal,
(09:49):
or plastic.
They prevent full erections,making arousal deliciously
frustrating.
Vulva owners can try app controltoys.
And I'm going to have a list ofthose toys.
And with these toys, yourpartner gets control of them
when you have them on, when yourpleasure is given, when it's
(10:10):
stopped, and when you get toenjoy the big finish.
Now, if you're not sure aboutwhere to start with chastity
cages for a penis owner, I havea full guide on how to choose
the cage, how to measure for it.
So don't worry, I've got youcovered.
Now let's go over the do's anddon'ts.
(10:32):
Do' start small.
Even a few hours of denial canfeel intense.
Don't force denial withoutagreement.
This is definitely aconsent-based kink.
And then do keep it playful.
The point is teasing, notpunishment, unless that's been
negotiated.
So here's the science behind whythis is a kink that is literally
(10:56):
booming right now.
Dopamine spikes the heart isduring anticipation, not orgasm.
That's why denial makes theeventual release feel explosive.
Chastity literally hacks thebrain's reward system.
So here's your kinktober orlocktober challenge.
Try a 24-hour chastity game.
(11:17):
That could mean edging withoutrelease, or if you're bold,
trying a cage for a day.
Journal how it changes yourdesire.
Share it with your partner.
So here are some toy and proprecommendations.
First of all, abeginner-friendly chastity cage
is the chef's kiss if you reallywant to dive in.
(11:40):
Again, I have a bunch of guidesfor finding the right one and
getting it sized.
Now, for Volva owners, again,we're going to be looking at
those app controlled couplestoys.
WeVibe has a whole bunch ofthem.
I have a code Explores15 for 15%off, but I will be sending out a
(12:01):
list of some of thesepartner-controlled toys for your
enjoyment to try if you want tothis month and hopefully beyond.
Kink number three is almost amust for a kinktober.
It is the Dom subdynamic.
Now, don't run away.
(12:21):
Don't say no way.
Hear me out.
So what is it?
Dom subdynamics are the backboneof most kinky play.
It's not about whips and chains.
It's about power exchange.
One partner takes control as thedominant, Dom, and the other
surrenders as the submissive orsub.
This can look like givingcommands, setting roles, or even
(12:44):
deciding what the other wears.
It can be soft and nurturing,think dom, giving firm but
caring orders, or it can bestrict and disciplinary.
The erratic charge comes fromstepping into roles that
exaggerate control andsurrender.
For many, being the sub isfreeing.
You don't have to makedecisions.
(13:05):
You just follow.
For others, being the Dom isempowering.
You get to lead, to guide, ororchestrate.
What makes Dom sub plays soversatile is that it can be as
subtle as saying, yes, ma'am, oryes, mistress, or yes, sir, for
an hour, or as elaborate as afull lifestyle dynamic.
(13:26):
You get to choose.
So here's how to give it a try.
For one evening, assign roles.
The Dom makes the decisionswhere to set, what to wear, when
to touch, how to touch, and thesub surrenders to the rules.
You can even play with phraseslike yes, sir, or yes, ma'am to
(13:47):
heighten the vibe.
So here are some do's anddon'ts.
Do negotiate roles andboundaries.
Everyone's got to be on board.
Don't assume your partner knowshow to play the part.
This is gonna be trial anderror.
It's gonna be some play.
It might feel awkward at times.
That's part of the fun.
Do try both roles.
(14:09):
Each offers a different thrill.
It will give you a chance tounderstand each other's
experience, and maybe you'lleach settle into your favorite
role.
Or maybe you'll find, dependingon the day, you'll want to
switch it up and keep thingsunpredictable.
So here's a science behind whythe DOM sub roles and dynamic
(14:30):
are so exciting in the bedroom.
Being the DOM floods dopamine,the reward chemical that feels
so good.
While being the sub spikesoxytocin, that bonding hormone.
That's why both roles feelcompletely intoxicating in
different ways.
So your Kinktober challenge isthis: for one hour, let one
(14:53):
partner control the pace.
The sub's only rule, say yes toeverything within your agreed
boundaries.
Here's your kinktober challenge.
For one hour, let one partnercontrol the pace.
The sub's only rule, say yes toeverything within your agreed
boundaries.
Toys and prop recommendations,pretty simple.
(15:14):
A simple blindfold or silk tiecan add that chef's kiss to the
entire experience.
You don't need to go crazy.
Again, you can level it up withspankings, your floggers, your
paddles, or your reward denialwith the couple's vibrators and
(15:36):
toys, but really I would juststart with one person being in
charge and calling the shots.
That's super sexy all on itsown.
And it's a great place to start.
Kink number four.
Erotic humiliation.
Bear with me.
Don't run away.
Don't shut me off.
(15:57):
Just hear me out.
So what is it?
Erotic humiliation is one of themost taboo kinks.
And one of the mostmisunderstood.
Listen, it's not about tearingsomeone down.
It's about using embarrassmentin playful, erotic ways.
Think of it like blushing with ablindfold on.
The vulnerability becomes a turnon.
(16:19):
Erotic humiliation might looklike begging, being teased, or
being made to say somethingembarrassing but sexy.
The arousal comes from beingexposed, but in a safe,
consensual way.
When done right, it createsintensity, intimacy, and a sense
of doing something naughtytogether.
The key difference betweenhumiliation and harm is intent.
(16:42):
The goal is to turn someone on,not tear them down.
So here's how you can give it atry in a safe way that feels
good.
Ask your partner to beg for akiss or playfully taunt.
You want this so bad, don't you?
Say please.
The thrill comes from exposureand vulnerability.
(17:06):
So here are some do's anddon'ts.
Do keep it light and sexy.
Don't use real insecurity orwounds.
That's a hard no.
Do check in often.
Safety is what makes itarousing.
Here's the science behind whythe humiliation kink is such a
turn.
Shame and arousal overlap in thebrain.
(17:28):
When combined safely,embarrassment transforms into
excitement.
The blush, the laugh, thevulnerability, it's all erotic
fuel.
So here's your kinktoberchallenge.
Tonight, ask your partner toadmit a fantasy or desire out
loud.
Notice how the blush makes ithotter.
(17:49):
And finally, kink number five,you gotta give it try, this
kinktober.
It's sensation overload.
So what is it?
Sensation overload is the art ofstacking multiple sensory
experiences until the body isbuzzing with stimulation.
Unlike simple sensory play, likeusing a feather or blindfold,
(18:10):
overload means layering.
Cold with heat, vibration withsound, pressure with softness.
The kink here is about pushingthe body into a place where
thought disappears, and the onlyoption is surrender.
It can look playful, blindfold,ice cube, vibrator, or it can be
(18:31):
more advanced with clamps, waxplay, or toys designed to
overstimulate.
At its core, sensation overloadis about intensity and presence.
It forces your mind out ofdistraction and straight into
the raw feeling.
So here's how to give it a try.
Start with one contrast.
(18:53):
Ice cube, warm breath, then addanother layer, vibration, add
sound, a toy buzzing loud enoughto be heard.
Layer sensation until the bodyis overwhelmed, but in the best
way.
Here are some do's and don'ts.
Do layer slowly.
Don't overwhelm with chaos.
(19:15):
Build gradually.
Do give aftercare.
We're talking blankets, puddles,words of reassurance.
And here's the science behindwhy this is such a turn on for
people.
Overloading senses narrows focuslike meditation.
(19:35):
That narrowed focus spikesdopamine and drunk, locking you
into the present.
We all know how hard that canbe.
So your King Tober challenges.
Pick three senses tonight: blindfold for sight, ice cubes (19:47):
undefined
for touch, buzzing vibe forsound.
Stack them and see how muchharder it is to think about
anything else but what'shappening in your body, and how
much easier it is to just feel.
Some toy and proprecommendations.
(20:10):
I'm gonna suggest the Wee VibeMelt for sound and section, uh,
and add a blindfold and thenplay with an ice cube or get a
little daring with skin safecandles.
I've got my favorite one herefrom Eye of Love.
It's the matchmaker.
You light the candle, it warmsup, and then you can drip it all
(20:34):
over the body.
This one is actually going togive you some bonus points
because it's packed withpheromones.
So that attraction you'refeeling is going to elevate real
quickly.
If you want to find out moreabout both these products and
receive my discount codes, ofcourse, you can scroll down to
the notes below.
I'm going to be sending youguides all month long, folks.
(20:58):
This is going to be one of thekinkiest, funnest months of the
year.
You're going to look forward toit every year, I promise.
I know I certainly do.
I'm gearing up right now.
So there you go.
You have five kinks to explorethis kinktober.
Spanking, chastity, dom subdynamics, erotic humiliation,
and sensation overload, eachwith a little challenge to make
(21:21):
it real.
Look, I know that some of thesekinks you've heard about before,
and maybe you've been like, noway, that's too much for me.
But I've given you some reallybeginner-friendly, vanilla-ish
ways to dip your toe in thewater and try something new that
can really change your wholeintimate life.
(21:42):
So I hope that you'll embracethe opportunity to try these
little challenges and just seewhere it takes your intimate
life starting tonight.
Kink doesn't have to be extreme.
It's about curiosity and it'sabout saying, what if?
And then daring to followthrough.
It's a little adventure.
Why not, right?
(22:02):
Give these kinks a try and thenlet me know how they go.
You can drop your experience inthe comment section below this
video.
If you're on my YouTube channelat TalkSex withinet.
If you are an audio listener,you can head over to my YouTube
channel or you can email me atAnnette at talksexwithinet.com.
Also, if you are looking for awingwoman, a cheerleader, if you
(22:26):
will, or a coach in your sex andintimacy journey, my books are
open.
You can find out more about thatat Annette at
talksexwithanet.com.
And of course, you can give mycoaching a try without a full
commitment by heading over to myOnlyFans page.
That's at TalkSex with the Neton OnlyFans.
(22:49):
Um, and you can ask me one offquestions there.
Welcome to Kinktober.
I'm ready to have fun with youall month long.
So until next time, stay tuned,and I'll see you in the locker
room.
Cheers.
I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast
formerly known as Locker RoomTalk and Shots.
The show has a new name, TalkSex with Annette.
But at its core, this is stillyour locker room.
It's where we strip away shame,get curious, and speak the
unspoken about sex, kink,dating, pleasure, and desire.
Around here, nothing's offlimits.
(00:24):
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends, and of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest, and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome to mypodcast where desire meets
disruption and pleasure becomespower.
(00:46):
Now, let's talk about sex.
Cheers.
Ranglo.
Today's Talk Sex with the Nettopic is five kinks to explore
this Kinktober.
And a challenge for each one.
When's the last time you feltthat rush of trying something
(01:08):
brand new in bed?
The kind of thing that makesyour whole body buzz just from
the anticipation.
Well, this is your moment.
October isn't just about hauntedhouses and pumpkin spice.
It's also about kinktober, awhole month dedicated to
exploring new flavors ofintimacy.
Think of it like erotictrick-or-treating.
(01:30):
You get to open the doors, peekinto fantasies, and maybe leave
with a few favorite kinks younever expected.
Today I'm giving you five kinksto try this kinktober.
I'll break each one down, whatit is, how to get started, what
to do and not to do, and thescience behind why it works.
(01:50):
And I'll give you fun kinktoberchallenges to try every night.
And don't worry, I'll alsosuggest sexy equipment and props
that will help you level up eachkink.
And if you want my step-by-stepguides, an extended list of
kinky equipment to try, makesure you're signed up for my
newsletter.
I'll be sending them out allmonth long.
(02:13):
So I also want to remind you atthis point that I'm over on
OnlyFans, and there I am sharingmy sex and intimacy, demos,
how-tos, audio guidedself-pleasure meditations.
And I'm now offering someone-on-one coaching options over
there.
If you're not ready to commit toa full erotic coaching regimen,
(02:34):
you can have your one-offquestions answered over there.
You can find me there with myhandle at talk sex withinet.
You can also find me over onSubstack doing a whole lot of
the same, minus the coaching andthe how-to demos.
And you can find me there withmy handle at TalkSex withinet.
(02:54):
Of course, you can scroll downto the links below in the
description of this episode.
You're gonna find links toeverywhere you want to find me
and my newsletter there whereyou can sign up.
So check it out.
And I'm excited to see you in myother spaces.
But for now, let's get startedwith five kinks.
You gotta try this kinktober.
(03:16):
Let's dive in.
Cheers.
Kink number one, one of myfavorites, spanking and impact
play.
So what is erotic spanking?
Spanking and impact play areprobably the most recognizable
kinks because they've crossedover into the mainstream from
movies to memes.
(03:36):
At its core, spanking is theerotic use of striking, usually
with a hand, but it can extendto paddles, floggers, crops, or
anything that delivers a mix ofsting and sensation.
So what makes it kinky isn'tjust the strike itself, but the
psychological dance around it,the anticipation, the sound, the
(03:59):
contrast between pain andpleasure.
It can be playful andlighthearted, like a cheeky slap
during intimacy, or it can beritualistic and structured, part
of a DOM sub-dynamic.
Impact play taps into primalenergy, letting partners explore
intensity in a safe andconsensual way.
(04:20):
Here's how to give it a try.
Start light, always withconsent.
But cheeks and thighs are safe,fleshy zones.
Think percussion, smack, stroke,pause.
The pause is where theanticipation builds.
Mix firm swats with gentletouches so the nerves light up
in contrast.
(04:41):
Here are some do's and don'ts.
Do have conversation first.
Safe words matter.
Don't hit the lower back ortailbone.
Do add variety.
Light taps, quick swaps,surprising timing.
That's the secret ingredient toreally good spanking.
(05:04):
And here is the science thatbacks up why it's so exciting to
bring into the bedroom and worthtrying this Kinktober.
Impact Play releases adrenalineand endorphins.
That combo gives the same highmarathoners chase.
Well, only sexier because you'realso mixing in trust,
anticipation, and intimacy.
(05:26):
So here's your Kinktoberchallenge.
Give your partner five spinks,each one unique.
Maybe start with a tap, then asharper sting, then a surprise
pause, then a crusk, then anunexpected final one.
See how much theunpredictability turns them on
or off.
(05:46):
It also gives you theopportunity to explore different
impact sensations.
Partners will often prefer oneto the other.
For instance, someone mightprefer the slap of a hand
delivering a spanking.
Some might like the thud of aheavy flogger.
(06:07):
Some may like the sting ofbamboo.
There is a whole world ofsensations to explore when you
bring spanking into the bedroom.
So here are some of my toy orprop recommendations.
First of all, you're going towant to start with, well,
beginner paddles and beginnerfloggers.
(06:28):
You can find a variety over atlovehoney.com where you can also
keep the price low as youexperiment with my code
EXPLORES15, where you get 15%off.
Now, if you sign up for mynewsletters, I will be sending
you some of my picks forfloggers I've personally gotten
and used in my own explorationso that you don't waste time
(06:52):
getting floggers or paddles orother instruments that are going
to fall short of you and yourpartner's expectation.
And of course, listen.
Keep it simple.
Your hand is free, portable, andalways ready.
And frankly, it's one of myfavorite spanking instruments to
(07:12):
this day.
Nothing feels quite assatisfying as your partner's
hand, delivering both pleasureand punishment.
Kink number two that I want youto give a try this kinktober is
chastity and tease slash denial.
This is your Lochtober special.
Now, first of all, I want toremind you that I have done
(07:37):
many, many podcast interviewsand episodes on Lochtober.
I also have lots of articlesI've written, and I'm going to
be sending them all your waythis month.
So again, sign up for thosee-newsletters because those are
going to be coming up.
But also scroll down to thedescription of this episode, and
I'm going to pop some of thosein there for a quick reference.
(07:59):
But let's talk about it.
What is chastity?
What is tease and denial?
And how does that look for thisupcoming month?
Chastity is one of the oldestand most misunderstood kinks,
and Locktober has made it newlyfamous.
At its simplest, chastity isabout controlling when and how
release or the big O happens.
(08:20):
That might mean putting offclimax for hours, days, or even
longer, or physicallyrestricting it with a chastity
cage.
For penis owners, cages preventerections and release, creating
a constant state of sexualfrustration that heightens
desire.
For vulva owners, might meandenial through toys, app control
(08:43):
devices, or rules a partnerenforces.
The erotic thrill comes from thepower exchange, giving up
control of your orgasm orholding the keys to someone
else's.
What makes chastity hot isn'tjust the denial, but the
psychological tension, theteasing, and the eventual
(09:05):
explosive reward.
So here's how you can give it atry.
Level one is edging.
Bring yourself or your partnerclose, then stop.
Do this two or three timesbefore allowing yourself or them
to have the big O.
That's right.
You can play with denial andchastity with yourself.
(09:27):
You don't have to have apartner.
Let's move on to level two (09:29):
a rule-based denial.
Maybe only one person gets todecide when release happens, or
maybe you go 24 hours with nofinish.
Then we're gonna move on tolevel three: cage play.
Penis owners can wear chastitycages made of silicone, metal,
(09:49):
or plastic.
They prevent full erections,making arousal deliciously
frustrating.
Vulva owners can try app controltoys.
And I'm going to have a list ofthose toys.
And with these toys, yourpartner gets control of them
when you have them on, when yourpleasure is given, when it's
(10:10):
stopped, and when you get toenjoy the big finish.
Now, if you're not sure aboutwhere to start with chastity
cages for a penis owner, I havea full guide on how to choose
the cage, how to measure for it.
So don't worry, I've got youcovered.
Now let's go over the do's anddon'ts.
(10:32):
Do' start small.
Even a few hours of denial canfeel intense.
Don't force denial withoutagreement.
This is definitely aconsent-based kink.
And then do keep it playful.
The point is teasing, notpunishment, unless that's been
negotiated.
So here's the science behind whythis is a kink that is literally
(10:56):
booming right now.
Dopamine spikes the heart isduring anticipation, not orgasm.
That's why denial makes theeventual release feel explosive.
Chastity literally hacks thebrain's reward system.
So here's your kinktober orlocktober challenge.
Try a 24-hour chastity game.
(11:17):
That could mean edging withoutrelease, or if you're bold,
trying a cage for a day.
Journal how it changes yourdesire.
Share it with your partner.
So here are some toy and proprecommendations.
First of all, abeginner-friendly chastity cage
is the chef's kiss if you reallywant to dive in.
(11:40):
Again, I have a bunch of guidesfor finding the right one and
getting it sized.
Now, for Volva owners, again,we're going to be looking at
those app controlled couplestoys.
WeVibe has a whole bunch ofthem.
I have a code Explores15 for 15%off, but I will be sending out a
(12:01):
list of some of thesepartner-controlled toys for your
enjoyment to try if you want tothis month and hopefully beyond.
Kink number three is almost amust for a kinktober.
It is the Dom subdynamic.
Now, don't run away.
(12:21):
Don't say no way.
Hear me out.
So what is it?
Dom subdynamics are the backboneof most kinky play.
It's not about whips and chains.
It's about power exchange.
One partner takes control as thedominant, Dom, and the other
surrenders as the submissive orsub.
This can look like givingcommands, setting roles, or even
(12:44):
deciding what the other wears.
It can be soft and nurturing,think dom, giving firm but
caring orders, or it can bestrict and disciplinary.
The erratic charge comes fromstepping into roles that
exaggerate control andsurrender.
For many, being the sub isfreeing.
You don't have to makedecisions.
(13:05):
You just follow.
For others, being the Dom isempowering.
You get to lead, to guide, ororchestrate.
What makes Dom sub plays soversatile is that it can be as
subtle as saying, yes, ma'am, oryes, mistress, or yes, sir, for
an hour, or as elaborate as afull lifestyle dynamic.
(13:26):
You get to choose.
So here's how to give it a try.
For one evening, assign roles.
The Dom makes the decisionswhere to set, what to wear, when
to touch, how to touch, and thesub surrenders to the rules.
You can even play with phraseslike yes, sir, or yes, ma'am to
(13:47):
heighten the vibe.
So here are some do's anddon'ts.
Do negotiate roles andboundaries.
Everyone's got to be on board.
Don't assume your partner knowshow to play the part.
This is gonna be trial anderror.
It's gonna be some play.
It might feel awkward at times.
That's part of the fun.
Do try both roles.
(14:09):
Each offers a different thrill.
It will give you a chance tounderstand each other's
experience, and maybe you'lleach settle into your favorite
role.
Or maybe you'll find, dependingon the day, you'll want to
switch it up and keep thingsunpredictable.
So here's a science behind whythe DOM sub roles and dynamic
(14:30):
are so exciting in the bedroom.
Being the DOM floods dopamine,the reward chemical that feels
so good.
While being the sub spikesoxytocin, that bonding hormone.
That's why both roles feelcompletely intoxicating in
different ways.
So your Kinktober challenge isthis: for one hour, let one
(14:53):
partner control the pace.
The sub's only rule, say yes toeverything within your agreed
boundaries.
Here's your kinktober challenge.
For one hour, let one partnercontrol the pace.
The sub's only rule, say yes toeverything within your agreed
boundaries.
Toys and prop recommendations,pretty simple.
(15:14):
A simple blindfold or silk tiecan add that chef's kiss to the
entire experience.
You don't need to go crazy.
Again, you can level it up withspankings, your floggers, your
paddles, or your reward denialwith the couple's vibrators and
(15:36):
toys, but really I would juststart with one person being in
charge and calling the shots.
That's super sexy all on itsown.
And it's a great place to start.
Kink number four.
Erotic humiliation.
Bear with me.
Don't run away.
Don't shut me off.
(15:57):
Just hear me out.
So what is it?
Erotic humiliation is one of themost taboo kinks.
And one of the mostmisunderstood.
Listen, it's not about tearingsomeone down.
It's about using embarrassmentin playful, erotic ways.
Think of it like blushing with ablindfold on.
The vulnerability becomes a turnon.
(16:19):
Erotic humiliation might looklike begging, being teased, or
being made to say somethingembarrassing but sexy.
The arousal comes from beingexposed, but in a safe,
consensual way.
When done right, it createsintensity, intimacy, and a sense
of doing something naughtytogether.
The key difference betweenhumiliation and harm is intent.
(16:42):
The goal is to turn someone on,not tear them down.
So here's how you can give it atry in a safe way that feels
good.
Ask your partner to beg for akiss or playfully taunt.
You want this so bad, don't you?
Say please.
The thrill comes from exposureand vulnerability.
(17:06):
So here are some do's anddon'ts.
Do keep it light and sexy.
Don't use real insecurity orwounds.
That's a hard no.
Do check in often.
Safety is what makes itarousing.
Here's the science behind whythe humiliation kink is such a
turn.
Shame and arousal overlap in thebrain.
(17:28):
When combined safely,embarrassment transforms into
excitement.
The blush, the laugh, thevulnerability, it's all erotic
fuel.
So here's your kinktoberchallenge.
Tonight, ask your partner toadmit a fantasy or desire out
loud.
Notice how the blush makes ithotter.
(17:49):
And finally, kink number five,you gotta give it try, this
kinktober.
It's sensation overload.
So what is it?
Sensation overload is the art ofstacking multiple sensory
experiences until the body isbuzzing with stimulation.
Unlike simple sensory play, likeusing a feather or blindfold,
(18:10):
overload means layering.
Cold with heat, vibration withsound, pressure with softness.
The kink here is about pushingthe body into a place where
thought disappears, and the onlyoption is surrender.
It can look playful, blindfold,ice cube, vibrator, or it can be
(18:31):
more advanced with clamps, waxplay, or toys designed to
overstimulate.
At its core, sensation overloadis about intensity and presence.
It forces your mind out ofdistraction and straight into
the raw feeling.
So here's how to give it a try.
Start with one contrast.
(18:53):
Ice cube, warm breath, then addanother layer, vibration, add
sound, a toy buzzing loud enoughto be heard.
Layer sensation until the bodyis overwhelmed, but in the best
way.
Here are some do's and don'ts.
Do layer slowly.
Don't overwhelm with chaos.
(19:15):
Build gradually.
Do give aftercare.
We're talking blankets, puddles,words of reassurance.
And here's the science behindwhy this is such a turn on for
people.
Overloading senses narrows focuslike meditation.
(19:35):
That narrowed focus spikesdopamine and drunk, locking you
into the present.
We all know how hard that canbe.
So your King Tober challenges.
Pick three senses tonight: blindfold for sight, ice cubes (19:47):
undefined
for touch, buzzing vibe forsound.
Stack them and see how muchharder it is to think about
anything else but what'shappening in your body, and how
much easier it is to just feel.
Some toy and proprecommendations.
(20:10):
I'm gonna suggest the Wee VibeMelt for sound and section, uh,
and add a blindfold and thenplay with an ice cube or get a
little daring with skin safecandles.
I've got my favorite one herefrom Eye of Love.
It's the matchmaker.
You light the candle, it warmsup, and then you can drip it all
(20:34):
over the body.
This one is actually going togive you some bonus points
because it's packed withpheromones.
So that attraction you'refeeling is going to elevate real
quickly.
If you want to find out moreabout both these products and
receive my discount codes, ofcourse, you can scroll down to
the notes below.
I'm going to be sending youguides all month long, folks.
(20:58):
This is going to be one of thekinkiest, funnest months of the
year.
You're going to look forward toit every year, I promise.
I know I certainly do.
I'm gearing up right now.
So there you go.
You have five kinks to explorethis kinktober.
Spanking, chastity, dom subdynamics, erotic humiliation,
and sensation overload, eachwith a little challenge to make
(21:21):
it real.
Look, I know that some of thesekinks you've heard about before,
and maybe you've been like, noway, that's too much for me.
But I've given you some reallybeginner-friendly, vanilla-ish
ways to dip your toe in thewater and try something new that
can really change your wholeintimate life.
(21:42):
So I hope that you'll embracethe opportunity to try these
little challenges and just seewhere it takes your intimate
life starting tonight.
Kink doesn't have to be extreme.
It's about curiosity and it'sabout saying, what if?
And then daring to followthrough.
It's a little adventure.
Why not, right?
(22:02):
Give these kinks a try and thenlet me know how they go.
You can drop your experience inthe comment section below this
video.
If you're on my YouTube channelat TalkSex withinet.
If you are an audio listener,you can head over to my YouTube
channel or you can email me atAnnette at talksexwithinet.com.
Also, if you are looking for awingwoman, a cheerleader, if you
(22:26):
will, or a coach in your sex andintimacy journey, my books are
open.
You can find out more about thatat Annette at
talksexwithanet.com.
And of course, you can give mycoaching a try without a full
commitment by heading over to myOnlyFans page.
That's at TalkSex with the Neton OnlyFans.
(22:49):
Um, and you can ask me one offquestions there.
Welcome to Kinktober.
I'm ready to have fun with youall month long.
So until next time, stay tuned,and I'll see you in the locker
room.
Cheers.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.