October 29, 2025 • 49 mins
In this episode we’re diving into Group Sex 101: The Real Rules That Keep It Hot (and Safe).
So you finally got the invite: the group chat is buzzing, the lube is packed, and you’re ready for your first play party, threesome, or poly adventure. But before you dive in, do you actually know how to keep it sexy and safe?
In this episode, I’m joined by Milla Impola, condom and lube expert from ONE® Condoms, to talk about what really goes down behind the scenes — from STI safety and testing to consent, communication, and pleasure tips that make group play fun, drama-free, and unforgettable.
We’ll cover:
- How to set boundaries that keep everyone turned-on and respected
- The lube and condom combos that actually work for group play
- How to stay safe without killing the mood
- What to look for in a play party (and red flags to walk away from)
This isn’t your high-school sex ed. It’s the real-world guide to adventurous, safer, more connected pleasure.
✨ Watch next: “How to Plan a Threesome (Without Making It Weird or Wrecking Your Relationship)” Here: https://youtu.be/6etkSQREj8k
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast
formerly known as Locker RoomTalk and Shots.
The show has a new name, TalkSex with Annette.
But at its core, this is stillyour locker room.
It's where we strip away shame,get curious, and speak the
unspoken about sex, kink,dating, pleasure, and desire.
Around here, nothing's offlimits.
(00:24):
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends, and of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest, and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome to mypodcast where desire meets
disruption and pleasure becomespower.
(00:46):
Now, let's talk about sex.
Cheers.
Right low.
Today's Talk Sex with the Nettopic is group play 101, your
ultimate guide to safe and sexyadventures.
So you finally got the invite.
The group chat is popping, thelube is packed, and you're ready
(01:10):
for your first play partythreesome or poly adventure.
But wait, do you actually knowhow to practice safer sex when
it's not just two people in bed?
Because here's the truth mostpeople think they know how to
use a condom.
Most people don't know how totalk about testing, and almost
no one has been taught how tonavigate STI safety in
(01:33):
non-monogamous group orkink-based spaces.
Today's episode is for the sexpositive babes, the polycurious,
and the wild ones who want theirpleasure and their health.
I am joined by Mila Impola, acondom and lube expert at one
condoms and a total badass whenit comes to rethinking how we
(01:53):
talk about sexual safety,especially in spaces where the
play gets expansive.
But before we dive in, I want toremind you that I am over on
OnlyFans, and that is where I amsharing my sex and intimacy,
how-tos, demonstrations, andaudio guided self-pleasure
meditations, so much more, in aneffort to help you have a
(02:14):
better, more intense, wonderful,pleasure-based intimate life,
whether that is with yourself orwith someone else.
You can find me there with myhandle at Talk Sex with the Net.
I'm doing a lot of the same overon Substack.
So you can find me there with myhandle at Talk Sex with the Net.
But for now, Mila, I would lovefor you to introduce yourself to
(02:38):
my listeners.
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Absolutely.
And thank you so much for havingme here today.
So I'm Mila Impola.
I'm the marketing andcommunications director at
Global Protection Corp.
I'm also a senior sizespecialist for the My1 Custom
Fit Line.
We have it is a title I gavemyself, but I a title,
nevertheless, that I'm proud ofafter 10 years of working at
(03:02):
Global.
And in my spare time, I lovedogs, handwritten notes, and I'm
also originally from Finland.
SPEAKER_00 (03:13):
What that intro.
Senior size specialist.
Yes.
I feel like many of us wouldlove to be able to have that
title.
So fantastic.
SPEAKER_01 (03:25):
We're working on a lot of educational programs now
where I almost want to createlike a certificate so that other
people too can have the covetedtitle of senior size specialist.
SPEAKER_00 (03:37):
I love it.
So listen, guys, of course, Iwant you to stay to the end.
And here is why.
Today we are diving into thereal safer sex talk you should
have before threesims, groupsex, whatever you're gonna do or
hoping to do.
How group sex changes the gameand what most people get wrong,
why condoms break and what yourlube might have to do with it,
(04:00):
what switching partners meansfor STI, risk, and so much more.
This isn't your high school sexed.
This is the condom chronicles.
And it might just blow yourmind.
So stay.
We will give you the typicaltakeaways at the end, a little
grab bag, if you will, a handbagof tools that can get you
(04:22):
started on your journey intosafer sex with more than one
person at a time.
And who doesn't want that?
I mean, everybody, everybodykind, at least in their
fantasies, wants to experiencethat, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So let's get ready to talk aboutgroup sex and keeping it safe.
(04:42):
Cheers.
Cheers.
So group play sounds thrillingto people, right?
And and in my experience, it hasbeen, but how do you ensure it's
both exhilarating and safe?
What is your top tip going intothis conversation?
SPEAKER_01 (05:01):
My top tip would be really discussing with whoever
you're gonna play with aroundwhat are the boundaries and what
are the safer sex tools?
What is everyone comfortablewith when it comes to the
experience that you're gonnahave, right?
Condom use, dental dams.
Is someone, you know, doessomebody prefer an external
condom, aka what's often calleda male condom, internal condom?
(05:25):
What tools are we bringing tothe table?
Who's bringing all the tools,right?
Like it, who's bringing thelubricant, who's bringing the
condoms?
And then also I hear it sooften, like, I hate condoms,
right?
But I also encourage people tosay, like, okay, but when was
the last time you really tried acondom?
Or maybe tried a condom otherthan Trojan?
(05:46):
Not that I'm knocking on them,right?
If that's your brand and youlove it, I am so happy for you.
But there's also so many brandsand condom styles.
And that's even at one condomthat we really focus on is how
do we constantly reinvent thecondom?
Because us as a manufacturer, weunderstand that condoms are a
barrier, right?
They are a barrier between twopeople, but we spend all our
(06:08):
time thinking about how tocontinuously make them better.
That's why we have the customthick condoms or the flex
condoms that improve heattransfer.
But like, have you thought aboutwhat type of condoms you like?
When was the last time youreally tried them?
And then practice it at home.
I hear it all the time like,Miss Mila, we're gonna
(06:28):
masturbate using a condom.
I'm like, what are you talkingabout?
And it's like, that's the bestway, honestly, to see like what
condom works for you, right?
Like practice it at home byyourself first.
So you know what brands do youlike?
What styles do you like?
Are you maybe allergic to latex?
You know, there's so many thingsto try out there.
SPEAKER_00 (06:45):
Do they really call you Miss Mila when they say
that?
Sometimes they do, yeah.
Right.
All right.
I want what I want, I want to becalled Miss now.
Do I want to be?
I don't know.
I I've got to try that onsometime soon.
Try it on.
Try calling me that.
Let's see how it goes.
(07:05):
All right.
Well, so let's really start fromthe beginning here.
What do you think it is thatdraws people to group sex?
SPEAKER_01 (07:15):
New experiences, getting to try new things, new
partners, so many different newthings that you could
experience, right?
Right.
And at once.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (07:28):
I mean There's more hands involved, which is always
yeah, there's more everything,and and then in some ways more
configurations that can takeplace, right?
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
Yeah, and more imaginations, right?
SPEAKER_00 (07:50):
Right.
What do you think some of themisconceptions around group sex
are most common?
SPEAKER_01 (07:57):
Most common misconceptions.
I think some of them might belike, especially if you go to a
play party, right?
Like you can just jump in, forexample, and that everything
goes and it's a free-for-all.
But like consent is soimportant.
Consent is always important, butit's very much like often you
get invited to a scene, right?
A lot of scenes might already bepre-negotiated.
(08:19):
And what they're really therefor is like having people watch,
right?
I think one of the bigmisconceptions is that it's just
like a free-for-all, no ruleskind of place.
But actually, in play parties,it's like there's actually a lot
of rules in place and consentnegotiation and negotiation
around economies and cipher sexand all kinds of stuff.
So I would say that that's oneof the first things that comes
(08:39):
to mind.
unknown (08:41):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (08:41):
I don't think people understand how much
communication goes into groupsex and play parties and stuff
like that.
It's not just, you know, youshow up and everyone rips their
clothes off and starts humpingaway.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah, that there is so much ofthat communication and also a
lot of communication thathappens even before you get to
the event or the party, right?
So much communication happensahead of time.
SPEAKER_00 (09:08):
In some ways.
That dynamic would be a greatone to replicate in just a
monogamist relationship, right?
Because that that communicationthat happens ahead of time is
also a little bit of likeforeplay, right?
You're talking about, hey, whatare some of the things that we
(09:29):
want to do?
And what equipment needs to bethere, and fantasizing about the
possibilities, but also, youknow, are we going to use what
kind of protection are we goingto use and who's getting tested
to XYZ?
SPEAKER_01 (09:44):
Right.
It is so true.
It's like the greatest foreplay.
I mean, it really is likegetting to text and thinking
when you start thinking aboutit, and you're trying to write
something at work and you'rejust thinking about it, you
know, and then like you've hadthis multiple hours worth of
lead up often before you evenget to the space.
SPEAKER_00 (10:01):
These days.
Sometimes these play parties areplanned weeks and ahead.
Like in my experience, I've goneto, I've gone to some, believe
it or not.
You know, you get the lead uptext inviting everybody.
In my experience, there's alsooftentimes sort of a pre-play
party dinner where it giveseverybody an opportunity that's
(10:22):
non-sexual to like meet eachother and know who might be
there.
And then, you know, theplanning.
And I think that that is a lotof foreplay, which is exciting.
So they've got the invite.
The people who are listeningright now, if you've got the
invite, I think it's fair forone of the first things come to
(10:45):
mind is oh my god, this is soexciting.
But then you have that momentwhere you're like, oh, what
about safety?
What about health?
What if someone has an STI?
What if they get tested, butthat you know, something hasn't
been caught?
Because there are certain thingsthat don't show up on STI to all
of that stuff.
How do I stay safe?
How do I stay safe is a bigquestion.
(11:05):
So let's go over the basics forthat.
How do we set up a play party toboth be sexy and safe?
You went over some of the safetyoptions.
I hadn't even heard of some ofthem.
Right?
I I've heard of everyone's heardof condoms, but I didn't realize
there were options for ones thattransfer heat.
(11:27):
And like I know you named off awhole bunch of options that
condoms I I know there is thefemale condom.
I've used one once.
But what are some things thatpeople can start thinking about
when it in terms of keepingthemselves safe?
What's the reality?
And then what are someapproaches?
SPEAKER_01 (11:50):
Sure.
So one of the main things I oroften recommend is if you're a
person that has a penis andstruggles with condom fit, and
often at least the people thatI've now talked to, just
hundreds of people, if not themost by this point, is I just
know that it feels it's likeit's either too tight or it's
too loose and it always fallsoff, or it's just too small,
(12:15):
then really checking for abetter condom size.
And I've been saying, just goget a different condom size for
years.
I've been doing sex ed since Iwas in college 20 years ago.
And but at the time, like mostcondoms were always the same
size.
So that was like tellingsomebody, oh, you don't like the
shoe size, just go to the storeand get a different size shoe.
(12:35):
But all shoes are size seven atthat store, right?
So that's why seven years ago,we launched something called My
One Custom Fit that has 52sizes, which most people at
first are like, that's a lot ofsizes.
But it's 10 lengths from 4.7 to9.3 inches, and then it's girth,
the widths basically, that arefrom super snug to super wide.
(12:58):
And what we find, it it reallyis a game changer for a lot of
people.
Because I've talked to peoplewhere like their entire life
they had been holding on to acondom during sex because it's
simply so big that it alwaysfalls off.
And actually, the snuggest sizeout of all 52 has been the
number one seller since welaunched it seven years ago
(13:18):
every month, right?
So because my one kind of solvesthe challenge of actually having
condoms that are shorter andtighter than regular condoms.
Another major challenge thatpeople have is condoms just
feeling too small or too snug,and they can't keep an erection,
right?
No erection, it's kind of hardto have sex.
And a lot of people in the past,like, I don't know if you've
(13:38):
ever seen like on social mediawhere they put a condom over the
arm or their foot, and they'relike, any guy who says that
condoms don't fit them are aliar.
I can fit this condom over myfoot.
Well, there's think difference,right, between a foot or an arm
that has a solid bone in it andcan withstand a lot of pressure
versus a penis, right?
If penises are, especially likeeven at a group play party and
(14:00):
it's maybe it's your first timeand you might get a little
nervous and you might have ahard time keeping your erection
in general because of what youmight be going, you might be a
little nervous, right?
And then you put on a condomthat's way too tight and it's
just gonna strangle all thecirculation away.
And then you don't have anerection, right?
And kind of so that's what wecreated my one.
And that's why I encouragepeople like if you've given up
(14:22):
condoms because you're like,they just simply don't fit me
right, and I hate them, Iunderstand.
But it really like, go check outmy one.
We have a lot of sizes, we havesample kits that people can test
out.
We even often have couples.
I once taught at a plate party,like where I brought all the fit
kit measuring tools that we haveand they kind of measured each
other, and then I had a bunch ofsamples for them to try out.
(14:43):
So, you know, condom fit is oneof those big things that's even
at a lot of play parties, theyhave lubricants, condoms, but I
always encourage people to bringsomething that they know works
for them, right?
And condom fit being importantif you've given up condoms
because they don't fit right.
SPEAKER_00 (15:00):
Right.
And I think so.
The big question going into playparty is a condom a must-use
product when it comes to safety.
In my experience, at least whenI have been in parties like
that, if and I'm gonna behonest, I was having more sex
with women.
I wasn't with a lot of guys inthose situations, but I was with
(15:23):
a couple.
And for me, it was like, yeah,you don't go like you are
wearing a condom with me.
Right.
Right?
But so would you say that that'sa general rule at most play
parties unless like a couple ishaving sex with each other and
they've already, you know,they're a couple, so they've
agreed to not use protection.
SPEAKER_01 (15:43):
Yeah, I would say it's mostly the norm or like
expect to use a condom unlessit's a couple, unless it's like
pre-discussed ahead of time.
Sometimes like friends go withtheir friends, right, to play
parties and they're fine.
It's I'm not here to tell anyonewhat risk you're willing to take
and what you should do with yourbody or whoever you're playing
(16:05):
with, right?
Just understand what the risksare and understand that, yeah,
if you're playing with astranger, most of the time the
assumption is that yes, you'regonna use a condom, right?
And if somebody says, the onething I will say, if somebody
else says, I want to usecondoms, don't be the person
who's like, are you sure?
I just, I just don't really likethem.
(16:25):
You know, don't if somebody saysI want to use condoms, there's
no negotiating whether or notwe're using it, right?
It's what kind are we using isthe next question.
SPEAKER_00 (16:37):
Who has them?
Yeah, don't be that guy.
Don't be that guy or a girl.
I'll be I was in a situationwhere a woman wanted to use a
dental dam on me to go down withme, down on me.
I had never used one before.
And I have to say it did give memore empathy for men, although I
(16:57):
don't know what I was justhaving this conversation with a
partner of mine about like Iwant, I wondered as she was
going down on me with a dentaldam if that was how if it was
the equivalent to condom newsfor men, because I couldn't feel
anything at all.
I was like, let's not do this.
(17:17):
This, this, like, there areplenty of other things we need
to we can do.
You don't need to go down on mebecause I can't feel anything.
I'm not sure.
Again, I don't know a lot aboutdental dams.
You named a lot of protectionthat's out there.
So outside of condoms, what aresome of the safety options
people can use?
Obviously, STI testing inadvance, correct?
SPEAKER_01 (17:41):
STI testing in advance, yes.
And then, like you mentioned,dental dams.
And for those who might not knowwhat it is, it's uh latex chi,
or there's also a brand calledHarmony that makes a non-latex
dental dam if you do have alatex allergy, where it just
looks like almost like a condomcut open and then it's put on
(18:01):
somebody's vulva or their anus.
So it's a barrier, just like ifcondom is a barrier between a
penis and the genitals, it's abarrier, a dental dam is a
barrier between someone's mouthand their genitals.
So helps prevent STItransmission that can be
transmitted through oral sex.
SPEAKER_00 (18:20):
In my experience, I haven't seen barriers for oral
sex be as common at playparties.
SPEAKER_01 (18:27):
It's very true.
I was even at a conference lastweek where even a lot of
educators were like, what areyou talking about?
A dental dam?
I have to now call them oraldams because dental just sounds
so medical, unless, you know,that's part of your, you know,
might be part of a scene orsomething.
Oral dams, yeah.
So I did a lot ofdemonstrations, even like
(18:47):
showing people like what theyare.
SPEAKER_00 (18:51):
And my question is this do you think that that's
less common?
Well, first of all, we do knowthat the the the risk of
transmission through oral sex issignificantly lower than through
vaginal or penetrative sex,whether that's vaginal or anal.
(19:11):
Do you think that that's one ofthe reasons why we I think
that's one of the reasons why?
SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
And there's just not a lot of education, even what
they are.
And I will also say like, if youhave like open cold sores or
something like that, just makesure you're not giving oral sex
to somebody else.
Because sometimes people aresurprised to learn that you can
like transmit like oral herpesto somebody's genitals through
(19:37):
oral sex.
So if you do, especially if youhave open cold sores, don't go
down somebody else.
SPEAKER_00 (19:43):
Maybe don't go to a play party until they're kissing
anything.
SPEAKER_01 (19:48):
They are just so contagious, right?
SPEAKER_00 (19:50):
So going to play party, let's talk about the STI
conversation.
In your experience, is theretypically a conversation about
that in advance, or are peopleexpected to bring their STI
screening papers?
What's what is your thought onthat?
SPEAKER_01 (20:09):
I think some people like to bring them.
There's definitely conversationsahead of time.
You have to also understand,like, you could get tested.
And then depending on whatactivity you might be doing
before you go to the play party,like there's all those things at
play in terms of timing, who youmight be having sex with, and
chances where you could havetransmitted something or gotten
(20:30):
something.
So I think for that reason,especially like just thinking
about condoms, making sure youknow you have also additional
tools to help keep you safe is agood idea.
SPEAKER_00 (20:41):
Right.
Because you can go and get anSDI test.
If you are right now gettingready for an upcoming play party
and you're going to get an SDItest, that's great.
It's a great layer ofreassurance that you can give to
the partners that you decide tointeract with.
But I would say also don'texpect that just because you
give them a clean test that theyare gonna then say, okay, we
(21:04):
don't have to use a condom,right?
SPEAKER_01 (21:06):
Right.
Exactly.
It's not like some passport, youknow what I mean?
Like I love that you put it thatway.
Yeah.
Like people still have the rightto ask for condom use, and like
it's an STI test is great, butthere's just so many other
things to also think about,right?
SPEAKER_02 (21:24):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (21:26):
And I also think one way to vet play parties, because
I've had different experiences.
And what I have liked the bestis when you go to one and they
actually have a conversation atthe beginning about consent and
about safety.
And then I've been to playparties where none of that
happens.
(21:46):
And it's like this free-flowingthing that just starts up.
And I think that's a little morestressful, right?
When you don't, for me, I liketo know that everyone's on the
same page.
We understand consent is a thingthat's happening, right?
I'm not gonna walk into a roomand you're gonna try and like
put your finger up my vagina.
What we've got consenthappening, we have an
(22:07):
expectation of safety andhonesty.
Some people will actually likehave an open conversation about
STI status ahead of time.
SPEAKER_01 (22:18):
Yeah.
It's yeah, just being able tohave those conversations is so
important.
And like that, yeah, thatthere's this understanding that
that's what's going.
Because some people like go andit's new to them, and maybe they
haven't had a whole lot ofconsent education.
Like at this point in my life,I've been to so many conferences
and education.
I've taught education myself.
(22:38):
So it's like the things that areinvolved in a lot of that
education are so you know,natural.
It's like you ask, you don'tjust jump in.
But for somebody completely new,they might just, they might be
coming with it with theexpectation that it is okay to
do XYZ or do XYZ.
So I think at the beginning,everyone just setting, like,
(22:59):
okay, here are kind of like theground rules, what's going on.
And then people say, aye, orwhatever they want to say.
I think that's that makeseveryone feel a lot better.
SPEAKER_00 (23:10):
And I think something that isn't often
talked about, well, or it alsohas been, which I thought was a
green flag, is the use ofsubstances during play parties,
right?
I think it's important.
It's okay to have like a drinkof wine, a cocktail, but
(23:34):
inebriation is is an unsafeactivity in, well, most any
sexual situation, but especiallyin a group situation.
It's really important to keep alevel of sobriety that allows
you to environment, be aware ofwho you're interacting with.
(23:54):
That above condoms, above dentaldams, we'll get into some of the
other safety measures.
Above the consent talk is ageneral rule that people aren't
getting absolutely wasted in aplay situation.
And I feel like that's a generalexpectation in a good play
space, correct?
(24:15):
It really is.
SPEAKER_01 (24:16):
And then a lot of times it's like in the rules,
right?
Like we will ask you to leave ifwe can tell that you're clearly
very drunk, right?
And then ask yourself before yougo, right?
Like, if do if I feel like Ineed to drink like three, four,
five, however many drinks tofeel comfortable enough to be
(24:37):
there, then are you like reallyready mentally to go?
Like, yeah, like you said, likehave a glass of wine, take the
edge off a little bit.
But if you feel like you need tohave multiple drinks and to feel
pretty drunk to be able to bethere and have fun, like maybe
you're not quite ready to go.
Or maybe you go and have a glassof wine, but then observe a
little bit, you know, watch ordon't participate or whatever.
(24:59):
But like, yeah, if you feel likeyou need to be really drunk to
be there, then you're probablyjust not ready to go.
SPEAKER_00 (25:08):
Right.
Right.
And maybe instead of diving intoa play party as your first
experience, you can start withlike a threesome or a foursome,
or going to a sex club where,you know, I recently went with a
friend who was experiencing asex club for the first time.
Love she was going into it,didn't know what to expect, and
(25:31):
was like, okay, kind of re as Iwas my first time ready to walk
into like a porn scene, a sceneout of a porn video.
And the reality is when you gointo sex clubs, that's generally
not at all what happens.
It's underwhelming almost.
It's like, where, where is thesex?
You know, so it's kind of agreat first experience in that
(25:53):
you can choose, you can be in ageneral area where you can
choose to go see the sex or dipdip your toe in the water.
And that's also a nice step upto a play party where you've got
a lot of people, moreopportunity and different
configurations of individualshaving intimacy and or not.
(26:15):
But the number one piece ofadvice I would give to stay safe
is to stay more sober.
You can have a glass of wine,maybe two, depending on how big
you are.
But staying sober, I it youcannot give consent if you're
inebriated.
(26:35):
I think that's a generalstandard.
SPEAKER_01 (26:37):
100%, yeah.
And I don't think you're alsolike experiencing more, right?
Because your senses aren't dull.
You're hearing all the sounds,time doesn't go as fast.
You're really like watching andobserving.
So 100% agree with that.
SPEAKER_00 (26:51):
More likely to have an orgasm.
100%, yeah.
So there is that as well.
I would like to talk aboutoutside of condom use.
Let's step away actually fromactual condoms and stuff like
that.
That let's talk about what isthe actual risk going into play
(27:14):
party?
I think that is truly what goesthrough people's mind.
If I go to a sex party, what ismy risk of contracting an STI?
SPEAKER_01 (27:26):
It's such it's a good question, right?
Like different STIs havedifferent transmission rates.
And it's interesting becauseeven working in the condom
company, like, we do getcustomers who are like, I had
unprotected sex last night onaccident or whatever.
What are what is my percentchance that I have syphilis?
And it's like really likesomething that I can give you as
(27:52):
like a 17% versus 65%.
It's kind of like if you'rehaving sex with somebody,
particularly if it's unprotectedsex, there's always a chance.
And I wish I could tell peoplelike a better statistic, but
then I encourage people to ask,like, okay, well, why are you
asking the question?
Because if you're it might bethat you're worried, right?
(28:14):
You're worried about contractingsomething.
So if you're worried about it,then it's like maybe we actually
flip the script and hate tobring it back, and not hate to,
but bringing it back to condomsis like there's so many ways
that you can take care ofyourself, whether it's condoms
or dental dams or whatever, tohelp reduce that risk.
And then also help you feel moreconfident and more like in
(28:38):
control of the situation, too.
Because sometimes it's like ifyou're worried about STI
transmission, there's thingsthat you can do.
But then if you are using thecondoms or if you are using the
protection, you're way lessworried.
That's what I always talk topeople about.
It's like helping your partnerfeel less worried about
unintended pregnancy and STIs.
(29:01):
Because when someone's lessworried about that, guess what
they're focusing on more?
Is giving a better blowjob orhaving way more fun during sex
or just having a better time?
Because they're not, their brainisn't every four seconds or 10
seconds, like, oh, but uh, we'renot using a condom.
And you know, like what's gonnahappen?
What if this person, even thoughthey gave me the STI paper, what
(29:23):
if they still have something,right?
Like helping somebody else feelmore comfortable so they can
focus on the fun parts ofthings.
SPEAKER_00 (29:31):
Right.
Pleasure.
If you aren't the pleasureobsessed with catching an STI,
you're gonna be able to focus onthe pleasure in the situation,
right?
SPEAKER_01 (29:43):
Right.
And there are still things likePrEP, which is the pre exposure
pophylaxis or prep, which youcan take after if you think that
you've been exposed, right?
And then something else aboutSTIs is like understanding.
That like people who do have anSTI are not dirty.
(30:04):
They're not bad people.
They deserve pleasure just likeeverybody else, right?
So sometimes I feel like theconversations around STIs also
get kind of mean in a way.
But it's like everybody deservespleasure, right?
So even if you do later gettested and you realize that you
test positive for something, trynot to panic, right?
(30:26):
Because most STIs are eithercurable or there's treatments,
right?
You're still going to live ahappy, healthy life.
But also while remembering thatthey are all preventable, also,
right?
So Right.
SPEAKER_00 (30:37):
And I think I guess I were it brings us to the
destigmatization of STIs.
It's sort of silly because wetalk about it like curing, like
this terrible thing you contractto cure.
But most of them are just kindof like when you go and you kiss
someone who has a viral diseaseor sickness, and then you have
(30:57):
it, you have to go and get anantibiotic in 10 days it's gone.
Right.
By and large, most of the STIsare a bacterial disease that you
got that you can get rid of witha 10-day or seven-day.
I think it's usually 10-dayantibiotic, right?
Or I mean there are some thatare permanent.
(31:17):
We're talking about herpes.
So many people have herpes ofthe mouth, and we don't
stigmatize them because you canget it from kissing.
You can get it through the birthcanal, right?
And herpes, it's just in adifferent, it's in a different
area.
And nobody wants to experiencethat.
But again, if you are someone myage and you were raised in the
(31:39):
age of AIDS, we were reallyprogrammed to be terrified of
anything STI related to anextent that it made sex really
miserable.
But I want to go back to thesafety aspect because I well,
well, it's hard to give youcan't really give percentages.
What I can tell you is this thestudies show that people who are
a sex positive who tend toengage with multiple partners,
(32:04):
whether through polyamory or sexparties, threesomes, whatever,
they tend to have a lower STIrate.
And it's because they are in thesex positive community where
getting regular testing done issomething that's very common.
We're talking openly about yourhealth status, isn't it a shame
(32:28):
attached to it.
Where using condoms or usingdifferent types of safety
measures, it's common to haveopen conversations around it.
It's common to come up withsolutions.
And it's just looked at verydifferently.
Where a lot of the STItransmission happens actually
tends to be in more monogamousrelationships where cheating is
(32:51):
happening and things arehappening behind people's back,
and it's hard to go get tested,and it's hard to have those
conversations.
So you see a difference insafety in those situations.
Now you're looking at a playparty where communication is
like top priority, right?
Planning is top priority.
(33:13):
So we've already said thatstaying sober is your number one
line of safety.
I would say your number two lineof safety is learning your no's
and yeses.
Because it can be really hardwith anyone to say like no,
especially when you're in a bigplay setting, like finding your
voice so that if someoneapproaches you, and let's say
(33:36):
you're really into them, andthen they're like, I don't like
the way a condom feels.
You are feel free to say, hey,okay, then your dick stays over
there.
And, you know, look, there areother things you can do.
You can use your fingers.
We brought toys, we can, youknow, whatever.
But I'm I'm not going to havesex with you without a condom.
Like really finding your voiceis super important.
(33:59):
It's not safe to go intosituations like that if you
don't feel like you can say whatyou need to start.
SPEAKER_01 (34:06):
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
To practice that really, even ifyou practice in a mirror, right?
Like practice saying no,practice saying, here are my
boundaries, here's what I'minto.
I always find practicing outloud helps, anyways, but also in
the situation, practice ahead oftime, practice in the mirror.
SPEAKER_00 (34:24):
Right, right.
Find your voice.
And then, ladies, people withvulvas, people who don't have
penises, this is frustrating.
But I I would like to say thatit's on penis owners to have the
condoms and the condoms thatwork for them.
I would suggest have it bringingthem regardless, so that if you
(34:46):
do meet someone and they'relike, I want to have sex with
you, but I forgot to bringcondoms.
And usually there are condomseverywhere at these parties
anyway.
But I would just always have theones that work for your body,
right?
Like I don't like latex.
So I try to have condoms on handthat I'm not going to that are
going to feel good to me, right?
(35:07):
Yeah.
Just in case.
But also knowing your options.
And so I want to take this timeto go over more options.
So we've talked about condoms.
Can you really quickly runthrough the different type of
condoms?
Because again, I didn't evenknow about some of these
options.
But just so that listeners areaware of if you are wanting to
(35:31):
go to a play party and you want,you know, you have to.
You have to get a condom.
You have to have some, or you'regoing to be stuck using the
cheap kind that they have there,right?
The Trojans, the Trojans.
Let's be honest.
Uh, what are all the optionswith the different condoms?
And then we're going to move onto other sort of safety measures
(35:53):
that you can bring with you.
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
Sure.
So there's all kinds ofdifferent brands, but like, for
example, under one condoms, thestandard size that we have has
different styles.
Like we have a studded condomthat's one of our most popular
ones because it has like littleraised studs that kind of
simulate that stimulate thenerve endings, right?
We have the custom fit condomline.
And I'm so glad you also broughtup non-latex, right?
(36:18):
There's different materials thatcondoms can be made out of.
And even I'm excited by the endof this year, early next year,
the custom fit line is going tohave a non-latex option because
we've been hearing so many foryears now that people want more
non-latex options, especiallydifferent sizes.
So my one's gonna come in anon-latex option.
And there's different materialsthat non-latex can be.
(36:41):
Nitrile is one.
Then there's something calledpolyisoprene, like a the most
popular non-latex condom rightnow on the market is probably
skin.
It's made from polyzoprene,which is very poly.
Yeah.
That's what I've used so far.
And it's interesting,polyisoprene condoms are like
they're made, they come fromrubber trees, just like latex
(37:02):
condoms do.
It's just that they remove theproteins in the manufacturing
process that would cause a latexallergy.
Also, polyurethane, which is aform of plastic, like that's
softened up.
The reason polyisoprene is alsocool because it has great heat
transfer.
SPEAKER_00 (37:18):
So that's the one you were talking about, the heat
transfer.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:21):
And then even if like Yeah, and even if you can't
find like a great condom fitunder our myelin line, despite
its 52 sizes, there are stillpeople who need a condom that's
e like shorter and tighter oreven longer or wider than what
we have.
So I often recommend the FC2internal condom, right?
(37:42):
Because you can use it vaginallyor anally.
And you it doesn't conform topenis size because it goes
inside somebody else.
So, and the great thing aboutthe FC2 that's on the market,
that's the only approvedinternal condom on the market
right now, is that it's made ofnitrile.
So it's also a non-latex optionif you do have a latex allergy.
SPEAKER_00 (38:02):
So that would be what I would call the female
condom, right?
The one where it's so can youexplain this?
Because I don't think a lot ofpeople have not heard of or used
these.
Can you explain how those work?
SPEAKER_01 (38:15):
Absolutely.
So there's a ring, it looks likea condom kind of turned inside
out, and it's a little bitbigger in circumference.
And the way you insert it intothe vagina is you kind of
squeeze, there's an inner ringon the inside, and you squeeze
it almost like a tampon, and youput it in almost like a tampon,
and it sits at the top of yourcervix, and then it just stays
(38:37):
in the inside of your vagina.
There's an outer ring that'skind of hangs out on the outside
of the vulva, and then, youknow, someone inserts their
penis toy or whatever inside,and it's just in the vagina or
in the anus instead of on thepenis.
I will say that don't knock itafter the first try.
(38:58):
After, like, I had to try it afew times, right?
Because it's just a waydifferent experience when you
you're wearing it.
But the cool thing about it is Ithink that that inner ring is
almost like a sex toy built inthere because it rubs up against
like inside.
So that's also like a coolsensation.
Some people don't like thatsensation, but I personally do.
(39:19):
So, but I would recommend if youtry the internal condom.
Another thing, definitely try itat home first.
SPEAKER_00 (39:26):
Right, right.
Okay.
So that's an option.
Are there any other options forsafety products that we haven't
talked about?
Lube.
Lube.
Lube.
What kind of lube is best to usewith condoms and with toys at a
play party?
SPEAKER_01 (39:44):
So there's different types of lubricants.
The lubricant that is on mostcondoms, fun fact, is
silicone-based lubricant.
But personal lubricants, there'ssilicone, water-based, hybrid.
Some people use oil-based stuff,which I'll get to in a moment.
Um, silicone, we have one calledMoo.
(40:06):
I'll show you.
It's very this is my favoritelube.
Not just because I work here,but because it generally is like
an amazing lube.
It because it's silicone, itlasts long, like for sex
parties.
So silicone is great because itlasts a little goes a long way.
But you shouldn't use siliconewith silicone-based sex toys
because the silicone can bind tothe sex toy and then cause the
(40:28):
toy to kind of deteriorate onthe surface.
So if you are using at a playparty toys, just make sure that
the toy is compatible with thelubricant.
Water-based is definitely themost common one.
We have something called oasis,where it's compatible with toys,
condoms, all the good stuff.
And it absorbs into the skin alittle bit differently than
(40:49):
silicone, so you don't reallyhave a lot of cleanup
afterwards.
Then hybrid is mostly awater-based formula, but a
little bit silicone added sothat you kind of get the
benefits of both.
We have something called OasisSill.
We're also coming out later thisyear with the natural lubricant,
and that's all I can really say,but it's very cool.
It's like derived from mostlynatural ingredients like aloe
(41:11):
and stuff like that.
And then some people useoil-based stuff, which might be
like coconut oil is a popularthing that some people use.
But the important thing to knowis you cannot use anything
oil-based, whether it's lotionsor anything, anything that has
oil with latex condoms, becauseit will cause the condom to
(41:32):
break.
Kind of a fun science experimentat home.
I don't know what you considerfun, but like rubbing some kind
of lotion on a latex condom andseeing how quickly it really
starts to deteriorate and break.
So just checking thecompatibility of the lubricant
you use with the toys andcondoms you use is important.
SPEAKER_00 (41:50):
All right, guys.
So there it is.
If I were to give you a to-gobag from this episode, things
you need to know.
Number one, be prepared to notbe blotto, drunk as fuck, at a
play party.
So you're gonna have to do somelike self-work and calm your
nervous system and know you arein control going into play
(42:12):
spaces.
And most of them generally aregoing to be full of sex positive
people who know the rules.
Uh two, know the red flags.
If you you walk into a playparty and certain things aren't
in place, first of all, youshould see condoms strewn about.
Hopefully, they kick off with aconversation that lists some
(42:33):
rules.
Maybe does a consent.
There's a consent talk.
I've definitely seen that.
You see some of those basicthings in place.
So kind of list out the thingsyou're going to look for, right?
Practice your no's and youryeses and finding your voice.
Those are going to be the threetop things, safety-wise, to keep
yourself safe.
And then outside of that, knowthat you have access to all of
(42:56):
these physical barriers you canbring.
The condoms, there's so manydifferent types.
There's no excuse for someonewith a penis not to be able to
find a condom that will do thejob, right?
Maybe it won't feel as good aswhen it's bare, but it will feel
pretty good.
Also, recognize sex isn't justpenetrative.
You can go to a play party andhave non-penetrative sex where
(43:20):
there isn't that fear of, youknow, play that comes from, you
know, P and V sex or, you know,fluid exchange, genital fluid
exchange.
Sex is a broad topic, andthere's so many, it's it's a
broad activity, and there's somany things that you can do
intimacy-wise at a play party,or you can do nothing and watch.
(43:44):
You can be a watcher.
That is something.
There are, I call them femalecondoms, you call them internal
con condoms.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (43:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (43:54):
And always have lube.
SPEAKER_01 (43:56):
Always always bring lube, folks.
Always bring lube.
Because it is true, even withlube, like significantly reduces
the chance of a condom breaking,also.
So it's like the pleasurecomfort aspect of lube, but also
it really does help condoms frombreaking.
So lube and condoms, they'reyour best.
SPEAKER_00 (44:15):
There you go.
We have the right kind.
Thank you so much for thisconversation, Mila.
Can you tell my listeners wherethey can find out more about you
and about the condoms yourepresent?
SPEAKER_01 (44:26):
Absolutely.
So you can go to one condoms.comto check out all the different
condoms.
If you do one condoms.com slashmy one, then you'll find the
custom fit condoms, but they'reall pretty easy to find on the
website.
And you can come check out someof our stuff on Instagram,
TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn.
(44:46):
Yeah.
And it's just at one condoms, soit's very easy to remember.
SPEAKER_00 (44:51):
Thank you so much for joining us, folks.
If you've gotten that invite andyou're ready to go play, I'm
sending you a personalcongratulations.
Just make sure you are preparedin advance.
Prepared not only to enjoyyourself as much as you can, but
to feel and stay safe.
And you've been given a lot ofinformation in this podcast
(45:13):
that's going to help you doexactly that.
Now go have fun.
And fuck, remember, pleasure isyour birthright.
Go and get it.
Right?
Cheers to that.
Cheers to that.
So until next time, listeners,we'll see you in the locker
room.
Cheers.
Bye.
(45:35):
Right, Lou.
I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast
formerly known as Locker RoomTalk and Shots.
The show has a new name, TalkSex with Annette.
But at its core, this is stillyour locker room.
It's where we strip away shame,get curious, and speak the
unspoken about sex, kink,dating, pleasure, and desire.
Around here, nothing's offlimits.
(00:24):
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends, and of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest, and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome to mypodcast where desire meets
disruption and pleasure becomespower.
(00:46):
Now, let's talk about sex.
Cheers.
Right low.
Today's Talk Sex with the Nettopic is group play 101, your
ultimate guide to safe and sexyadventures.
So you finally got the invite.
The group chat is popping, thelube is packed, and you're ready
(01:10):
for your first play partythreesome or poly adventure.
But wait, do you actually knowhow to practice safer sex when
it's not just two people in bed?
Because here's the truth mostpeople think they know how to
use a condom.
Most people don't know how totalk about testing, and almost
no one has been taught how tonavigate STI safety in
(01:33):
non-monogamous group orkink-based spaces.
Today's episode is for the sexpositive babes, the polycurious,
and the wild ones who want theirpleasure and their health.
I am joined by Mila Impola, acondom and lube expert at one
condoms and a total badass whenit comes to rethinking how we
(01:53):
talk about sexual safety,especially in spaces where the
play gets expansive.
But before we dive in, I want toremind you that I am over on
OnlyFans, and that is where I amsharing my sex and intimacy,
how-tos, demonstrations, andaudio guided self-pleasure
meditations, so much more, in aneffort to help you have a
(02:14):
better, more intense, wonderful,pleasure-based intimate life,
whether that is with yourself orwith someone else.
You can find me there with myhandle at Talk Sex with the Net.
I'm doing a lot of the same overon Substack.
So you can find me there with myhandle at Talk Sex with the Net.
But for now, Mila, I would lovefor you to introduce yourself to
(02:38):
my listeners.
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Absolutely.
And thank you so much for havingme here today.
So I'm Mila Impola.
I'm the marketing andcommunications director at
Global Protection Corp.
I'm also a senior sizespecialist for the My1 Custom
Fit Line.
We have it is a title I gavemyself, but I a title,
nevertheless, that I'm proud ofafter 10 years of working at
(03:02):
Global.
And in my spare time, I lovedogs, handwritten notes, and I'm
also originally from Finland.
SPEAKER_00 (03:13):
What that intro.
Senior size specialist.
Yes.
I feel like many of us wouldlove to be able to have that
title.
So fantastic.
SPEAKER_01 (03:25):
We're working on a lot of educational programs now
where I almost want to createlike a certificate so that other
people too can have the covetedtitle of senior size specialist.
SPEAKER_00 (03:37):
I love it.
So listen, guys, of course, Iwant you to stay to the end.
And here is why.
Today we are diving into thereal safer sex talk you should
have before threesims, groupsex, whatever you're gonna do or
hoping to do.
How group sex changes the gameand what most people get wrong,
why condoms break and what yourlube might have to do with it,
(04:00):
what switching partners meansfor STI, risk, and so much more.
This isn't your high school sexed.
This is the condom chronicles.
And it might just blow yourmind.
So stay.
We will give you the typicaltakeaways at the end, a little
grab bag, if you will, a handbagof tools that can get you
(04:22):
started on your journey intosafer sex with more than one
person at a time.
And who doesn't want that?
I mean, everybody, everybodykind, at least in their
fantasies, wants to experiencethat, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So let's get ready to talk aboutgroup sex and keeping it safe.
(04:42):
Cheers.
Cheers.
So group play sounds thrillingto people, right?
And and in my experience, it hasbeen, but how do you ensure it's
both exhilarating and safe?
What is your top tip going intothis conversation?
SPEAKER_01 (05:01):
My top tip would be really discussing with whoever
you're gonna play with aroundwhat are the boundaries and what
are the safer sex tools?
What is everyone comfortablewith when it comes to the
experience that you're gonnahave, right?
Condom use, dental dams.
Is someone, you know, doessomebody prefer an external
condom, aka what's often calleda male condom, internal condom?
(05:25):
What tools are we bringing tothe table?
Who's bringing all the tools,right?
Like it, who's bringing thelubricant, who's bringing the
condoms?
And then also I hear it sooften, like, I hate condoms,
right?
But I also encourage people tosay, like, okay, but when was
the last time you really tried acondom?
Or maybe tried a condom otherthan Trojan?
(05:46):
Not that I'm knocking on them,right?
If that's your brand and youlove it, I am so happy for you.
But there's also so many brandsand condom styles.
And that's even at one condomthat we really focus on is how
do we constantly reinvent thecondom?
Because us as a manufacturer, weunderstand that condoms are a
barrier, right?
They are a barrier between twopeople, but we spend all our
(06:08):
time thinking about how tocontinuously make them better.
That's why we have the customthick condoms or the flex
condoms that improve heattransfer.
But like, have you thought aboutwhat type of condoms you like?
When was the last time youreally tried them?
And then practice it at home.
I hear it all the time like,Miss Mila, we're gonna
(06:28):
masturbate using a condom.
I'm like, what are you talkingabout?
And it's like, that's the bestway, honestly, to see like what
condom works for you, right?
Like practice it at home byyourself first.
So you know what brands do youlike?
What styles do you like?
Are you maybe allergic to latex?
You know, there's so many thingsto try out there.
SPEAKER_00 (06:45):
Do they really call you Miss Mila when they say
that?
Sometimes they do, yeah.
Right.
All right.
I want what I want, I want to becalled Miss now.
Do I want to be?
I don't know.
I I've got to try that onsometime soon.
Try it on.
Try calling me that.
Let's see how it goes.
(07:05):
All right.
Well, so let's really start fromthe beginning here.
What do you think it is thatdraws people to group sex?
SPEAKER_01 (07:15):
New experiences, getting to try new things, new
partners, so many different newthings that you could
experience, right?
Right.
And at once.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (07:28):
I mean There's more hands involved, which is always
yeah, there's more everything,and and then in some ways more
configurations that can takeplace, right?
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
Yeah, and more imaginations, right?
SPEAKER_00 (07:50):
Right.
What do you think some of themisconceptions around group sex
are most common?
SPEAKER_01 (07:57):
Most common misconceptions.
I think some of them might belike, especially if you go to a
play party, right?
Like you can just jump in, forexample, and that everything
goes and it's a free-for-all.
But like consent is soimportant.
Consent is always important, butit's very much like often you
get invited to a scene, right?
A lot of scenes might already bepre-negotiated.
(08:19):
And what they're really therefor is like having people watch,
right?
I think one of the bigmisconceptions is that it's just
like a free-for-all, no ruleskind of place.
But actually, in play parties,it's like there's actually a lot
of rules in place and consentnegotiation and negotiation
around economies and cipher sexand all kinds of stuff.
So I would say that that's oneof the first things that comes
(08:39):
to mind.
unknown (08:41):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (08:41):
I don't think people understand how much
communication goes into groupsex and play parties and stuff
like that.
It's not just, you know, youshow up and everyone rips their
clothes off and starts humpingaway.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah, that there is so much ofthat communication and also a
lot of communication thathappens even before you get to
the event or the party, right?
So much communication happensahead of time.
SPEAKER_00 (09:08):
In some ways.
That dynamic would be a greatone to replicate in just a
monogamist relationship, right?
Because that that communicationthat happens ahead of time is
also a little bit of likeforeplay, right?
You're talking about, hey, whatare some of the things that we
(09:29):
want to do?
And what equipment needs to bethere, and fantasizing about the
possibilities, but also, youknow, are we going to use what
kind of protection are we goingto use and who's getting tested
to XYZ?
SPEAKER_01 (09:44):
Right.
It is so true.
It's like the greatest foreplay.
I mean, it really is likegetting to text and thinking
when you start thinking aboutit, and you're trying to write
something at work and you'rejust thinking about it, you
know, and then like you've hadthis multiple hours worth of
lead up often before you evenget to the space.
SPEAKER_00 (10:01):
These days.
Sometimes these play parties areplanned weeks and ahead.
Like in my experience, I've goneto, I've gone to some, believe
it or not.
You know, you get the lead uptext inviting everybody.
In my experience, there's alsooftentimes sort of a pre-play
party dinner where it giveseverybody an opportunity that's
(10:22):
non-sexual to like meet eachother and know who might be
there.
And then, you know, theplanning.
And I think that that is a lotof foreplay, which is exciting.
So they've got the invite.
The people who are listeningright now, if you've got the
invite, I think it's fair forone of the first things come to
(10:45):
mind is oh my god, this is soexciting.
But then you have that momentwhere you're like, oh, what
about safety?
What about health?
What if someone has an STI?
What if they get tested, butthat you know, something hasn't
been caught?
Because there are certain thingsthat don't show up on STI to all
of that stuff.
How do I stay safe?
How do I stay safe is a bigquestion.
(11:05):
So let's go over the basics forthat.
How do we set up a play party toboth be sexy and safe?
You went over some of the safetyoptions.
I hadn't even heard of some ofthem.
Right?
I I've heard of everyone's heardof condoms, but I didn't realize
there were options for ones thattransfer heat.
(11:27):
And like I know you named off awhole bunch of options that
condoms I I know there is thefemale condom.
I've used one once.
But what are some things thatpeople can start thinking about
when it in terms of keepingthemselves safe?
What's the reality?
And then what are someapproaches?
SPEAKER_01 (11:50):
Sure.
So one of the main things I oroften recommend is if you're a
person that has a penis andstruggles with condom fit, and
often at least the people thatI've now talked to, just
hundreds of people, if not themost by this point, is I just
know that it feels it's likeit's either too tight or it's
too loose and it always fallsoff, or it's just too small,
(12:15):
then really checking for abetter condom size.
And I've been saying, just goget a different condom size for
years.
I've been doing sex ed since Iwas in college 20 years ago.
And but at the time, like mostcondoms were always the same
size.
So that was like tellingsomebody, oh, you don't like the
shoe size, just go to the storeand get a different size shoe.
(12:35):
But all shoes are size seven atthat store, right?
So that's why seven years ago,we launched something called My
One Custom Fit that has 52sizes, which most people at
first are like, that's a lot ofsizes.
But it's 10 lengths from 4.7 to9.3 inches, and then it's girth,
the widths basically, that arefrom super snug to super wide.
(12:58):
And what we find, it it reallyis a game changer for a lot of
people.
Because I've talked to peoplewhere like their entire life
they had been holding on to acondom during sex because it's
simply so big that it alwaysfalls off.
And actually, the snuggest sizeout of all 52 has been the
number one seller since welaunched it seven years ago
(13:18):
every month, right?
So because my one kind of solvesthe challenge of actually having
condoms that are shorter andtighter than regular condoms.
Another major challenge thatpeople have is condoms just
feeling too small or too snug,and they can't keep an erection,
right?
No erection, it's kind of hardto have sex.
And a lot of people in the past,like, I don't know if you've
(13:38):
ever seen like on social mediawhere they put a condom over the
arm or their foot, and they'relike, any guy who says that
condoms don't fit them are aliar.
I can fit this condom over myfoot.
Well, there's think difference,right, between a foot or an arm
that has a solid bone in it andcan withstand a lot of pressure
versus a penis, right?
If penises are, especially likeeven at a group play party and
(14:00):
it's maybe it's your first timeand you might get a little
nervous and you might have ahard time keeping your erection
in general because of what youmight be going, you might be a
little nervous, right?
And then you put on a condomthat's way too tight and it's
just gonna strangle all thecirculation away.
And then you don't have anerection, right?
And kind of so that's what wecreated my one.
And that's why I encouragepeople like if you've given up
(14:22):
condoms because you're like,they just simply don't fit me
right, and I hate them, Iunderstand.
But it really like, go check outmy one.
We have a lot of sizes, we havesample kits that people can test
out.
We even often have couples.
I once taught at a plate party,like where I brought all the fit
kit measuring tools that we haveand they kind of measured each
other, and then I had a bunch ofsamples for them to try out.
(14:43):
So, you know, condom fit is oneof those big things that's even
at a lot of play parties, theyhave lubricants, condoms, but I
always encourage people to bringsomething that they know works
for them, right?
And condom fit being importantif you've given up condoms
because they don't fit right.
SPEAKER_00 (15:00):
Right.
And I think so.
The big question going into playparty is a condom a must-use
product when it comes to safety.
In my experience, at least whenI have been in parties like
that, if and I'm gonna behonest, I was having more sex
with women.
I wasn't with a lot of guys inthose situations, but I was with
(15:23):
a couple.
And for me, it was like, yeah,you don't go like you are
wearing a condom with me.
Right.
Right?
But so would you say that that'sa general rule at most play
parties unless like a couple ishaving sex with each other and
they've already, you know,they're a couple, so they've
agreed to not use protection.
SPEAKER_01 (15:43):
Yeah, I would say it's mostly the norm or like
expect to use a condom unlessit's a couple, unless it's like
pre-discussed ahead of time.
Sometimes like friends go withtheir friends, right, to play
parties and they're fine.
It's I'm not here to tell anyonewhat risk you're willing to take
and what you should do with yourbody or whoever you're playing
(16:05):
with, right?
Just understand what the risksare and understand that, yeah,
if you're playing with astranger, most of the time the
assumption is that yes, you'regonna use a condom, right?
And if somebody says, the onething I will say, if somebody
else says, I want to usecondoms, don't be the person
who's like, are you sure?
I just, I just don't really likethem.
(16:25):
You know, don't if somebody saysI want to use condoms, there's
no negotiating whether or notwe're using it, right?
It's what kind are we using isthe next question.
SPEAKER_00 (16:37):
Who has them?
Yeah, don't be that guy.
Don't be that guy or a girl.
I'll be I was in a situationwhere a woman wanted to use a
dental dam on me to go down withme, down on me.
I had never used one before.
And I have to say it did give memore empathy for men, although I
(16:57):
don't know what I was justhaving this conversation with a
partner of mine about like Iwant, I wondered as she was
going down on me with a dentaldam if that was how if it was
the equivalent to condom newsfor men, because I couldn't feel
anything at all.
I was like, let's not do this.
(17:17):
This, this, like, there areplenty of other things we need
to we can do.
You don't need to go down on mebecause I can't feel anything.
I'm not sure.
Again, I don't know a lot aboutdental dams.
You named a lot of protectionthat's out there.
So outside of condoms, what aresome of the safety options
people can use?
Obviously, STI testing inadvance, correct?
SPEAKER_01 (17:41):
STI testing in advance, yes.
And then, like you mentioned,dental dams.
And for those who might not knowwhat it is, it's uh latex chi,
or there's also a brand calledHarmony that makes a non-latex
dental dam if you do have alatex allergy, where it just
looks like almost like a condomcut open and then it's put on
(18:01):
somebody's vulva or their anus.
So it's a barrier, just like ifcondom is a barrier between a
penis and the genitals, it's abarrier, a dental dam is a
barrier between someone's mouthand their genitals.
So helps prevent STItransmission that can be
transmitted through oral sex.
SPEAKER_00 (18:20):
In my experience, I haven't seen barriers for oral
sex be as common at playparties.
SPEAKER_01 (18:27):
It's very true.
I was even at a conference lastweek where even a lot of
educators were like, what areyou talking about?
A dental dam?
I have to now call them oraldams because dental just sounds
so medical, unless, you know,that's part of your, you know,
might be part of a scene orsomething.
Oral dams, yeah.
So I did a lot ofdemonstrations, even like
(18:47):
showing people like what theyare.
SPEAKER_00 (18:51):
And my question is this do you think that that's
less common?
Well, first of all, we do knowthat the the the risk of
transmission through oral sex issignificantly lower than through
vaginal or penetrative sex,whether that's vaginal or anal.
(19:11):
Do you think that that's one ofthe reasons why we I think
that's one of the reasons why?
SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
And there's just not a lot of education, even what
they are.
And I will also say like, if youhave like open cold sores or
something like that, just makesure you're not giving oral sex
to somebody else.
Because sometimes people aresurprised to learn that you can
like transmit like oral herpesto somebody's genitals through
(19:37):
oral sex.
So if you do, especially if youhave open cold sores, don't go
down somebody else.
SPEAKER_00 (19:43):
Maybe don't go to a play party until they're kissing
anything.
SPEAKER_01 (19:48):
They are just so contagious, right?
SPEAKER_00 (19:50):
So going to play party, let's talk about the STI
conversation.
In your experience, is theretypically a conversation about
that in advance, or are peopleexpected to bring their STI
screening papers?
What's what is your thought onthat?
SPEAKER_01 (20:09):
I think some people like to bring them.
There's definitely conversationsahead of time.
You have to also understand,like, you could get tested.
And then depending on whatactivity you might be doing
before you go to the play party,like there's all those things at
play in terms of timing, who youmight be having sex with, and
chances where you could havetransmitted something or gotten
(20:30):
something.
So I think for that reason,especially like just thinking
about condoms, making sure youknow you have also additional
tools to help keep you safe is agood idea.
SPEAKER_00 (20:41):
Right.
Because you can go and get anSDI test.
If you are right now gettingready for an upcoming play party
and you're going to get an SDItest, that's great.
It's a great layer ofreassurance that you can give to
the partners that you decide tointeract with.
But I would say also don'texpect that just because you
give them a clean test that theyare gonna then say, okay, we
(21:04):
don't have to use a condom,right?
SPEAKER_01 (21:06):
Right.
Exactly.
It's not like some passport, youknow what I mean?
Like I love that you put it thatway.
Yeah.
Like people still have the rightto ask for condom use, and like
it's an STI test is great, butthere's just so many other
things to also think about,right?
SPEAKER_02 (21:24):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (21:26):
And I also think one way to vet play parties, because
I've had different experiences.
And what I have liked the bestis when you go to one and they
actually have a conversation atthe beginning about consent and
about safety.
And then I've been to playparties where none of that
happens.
(21:46):
And it's like this free-flowingthing that just starts up.
And I think that's a little morestressful, right?
When you don't, for me, I liketo know that everyone's on the
same page.
We understand consent is a thingthat's happening, right?
I'm not gonna walk into a roomand you're gonna try and like
put your finger up my vagina.
What we've got consenthappening, we have an
(22:07):
expectation of safety andhonesty.
Some people will actually likehave an open conversation about
STI status ahead of time.
SPEAKER_01 (22:18):
Yeah.
It's yeah, just being able tohave those conversations is so
important.
And like that, yeah, thatthere's this understanding that
that's what's going.
Because some people like go andit's new to them, and maybe they
haven't had a whole lot ofconsent education.
Like at this point in my life,I've been to so many conferences
and education.
I've taught education myself.
(22:38):
So it's like the things that areinvolved in a lot of that
education are so you know,natural.
It's like you ask, you don'tjust jump in.
But for somebody completely new,they might just, they might be
coming with it with theexpectation that it is okay to
do XYZ or do XYZ.
So I think at the beginning,everyone just setting, like,
(22:59):
okay, here are kind of like theground rules, what's going on.
And then people say, aye, orwhatever they want to say.
I think that's that makeseveryone feel a lot better.
SPEAKER_00 (23:10):
And I think something that isn't often
talked about, well, or it alsohas been, which I thought was a
green flag, is the use ofsubstances during play parties,
right?
I think it's important.
It's okay to have like a drinkof wine, a cocktail, but
(23:34):
inebriation is is an unsafeactivity in, well, most any
sexual situation, but especiallyin a group situation.
It's really important to keep alevel of sobriety that allows
you to environment, be aware ofwho you're interacting with.
(23:54):
That above condoms, above dentaldams, we'll get into some of the
other safety measures.
Above the consent talk is ageneral rule that people aren't
getting absolutely wasted in aplay situation.
And I feel like that's a generalexpectation in a good play
space, correct?
(24:15):
It really is.
SPEAKER_01 (24:16):
And then a lot of times it's like in the rules,
right?
Like we will ask you to leave ifwe can tell that you're clearly
very drunk, right?
And then ask yourself before yougo, right?
Like, if do if I feel like Ineed to drink like three, four,
five, however many drinks tofeel comfortable enough to be
(24:37):
there, then are you like reallyready mentally to go?
Like, yeah, like you said, likehave a glass of wine, take the
edge off a little bit.
But if you feel like you need tohave multiple drinks and to feel
pretty drunk to be able to bethere and have fun, like maybe
you're not quite ready to go.
Or maybe you go and have a glassof wine, but then observe a
little bit, you know, watch ordon't participate or whatever.
(24:59):
But like, yeah, if you feel likeyou need to be really drunk to
be there, then you're probablyjust not ready to go.
SPEAKER_00 (25:08):
Right.
Right.
And maybe instead of diving intoa play party as your first
experience, you can start withlike a threesome or a foursome,
or going to a sex club where,you know, I recently went with a
friend who was experiencing asex club for the first time.
Love she was going into it,didn't know what to expect, and
(25:31):
was like, okay, kind of re as Iwas my first time ready to walk
into like a porn scene, a sceneout of a porn video.
And the reality is when you gointo sex clubs, that's generally
not at all what happens.
It's underwhelming almost.
It's like, where, where is thesex?
You know, so it's kind of agreat first experience in that
(25:53):
you can choose, you can be in ageneral area where you can
choose to go see the sex or dipdip your toe in the water.
And that's also a nice step upto a play party where you've got
a lot of people, moreopportunity and different
configurations of individualshaving intimacy and or not.
(26:15):
But the number one piece ofadvice I would give to stay safe
is to stay more sober.
You can have a glass of wine,maybe two, depending on how big
you are.
But staying sober, I it youcannot give consent if you're
inebriated.
(26:35):
I think that's a generalstandard.
SPEAKER_01 (26:37):
100%, yeah.
And I don't think you're alsolike experiencing more, right?
Because your senses aren't dull.
You're hearing all the sounds,time doesn't go as fast.
You're really like watching andobserving.
So 100% agree with that.
SPEAKER_00 (26:51):
More likely to have an orgasm.
100%, yeah.
So there is that as well.
I would like to talk aboutoutside of condom use.
Let's step away actually fromactual condoms and stuff like
that.
That let's talk about what isthe actual risk going into play
(27:14):
party?
I think that is truly what goesthrough people's mind.
If I go to a sex party, what ismy risk of contracting an STI?
SPEAKER_01 (27:26):
It's such it's a good question, right?
Like different STIs havedifferent transmission rates.
And it's interesting becauseeven working in the condom
company, like, we do getcustomers who are like, I had
unprotected sex last night onaccident or whatever.
What are what is my percentchance that I have syphilis?
And it's like really likesomething that I can give you as
(27:52):
like a 17% versus 65%.
It's kind of like if you'rehaving sex with somebody,
particularly if it's unprotectedsex, there's always a chance.
And I wish I could tell peoplelike a better statistic, but
then I encourage people to ask,like, okay, well, why are you
asking the question?
Because if you're it might bethat you're worried, right?
(28:14):
You're worried about contractingsomething.
So if you're worried about it,then it's like maybe we actually
flip the script and hate tobring it back, and not hate to,
but bringing it back to condomsis like there's so many ways
that you can take care ofyourself, whether it's condoms
or dental dams or whatever, tohelp reduce that risk.
And then also help you feel moreconfident and more like in
(28:38):
control of the situation, too.
Because sometimes it's like ifyou're worried about STI
transmission, there's thingsthat you can do.
But then if you are using thecondoms or if you are using the
protection, you're way lessworried.
That's what I always talk topeople about.
It's like helping your partnerfeel less worried about
unintended pregnancy and STIs.
(29:01):
Because when someone's lessworried about that, guess what
they're focusing on more?
Is giving a better blowjob orhaving way more fun during sex
or just having a better time?
Because they're not, their brainisn't every four seconds or 10
seconds, like, oh, but uh, we'renot using a condom.
And you know, like what's gonnahappen?
What if this person, even thoughthey gave me the STI paper, what
(29:23):
if they still have something,right?
Like helping somebody else feelmore comfortable so they can
focus on the fun parts ofthings.
SPEAKER_00 (29:31):
Right.
Pleasure.
If you aren't the pleasureobsessed with catching an STI,
you're gonna be able to focus onthe pleasure in the situation,
right?
SPEAKER_01 (29:43):
Right.
And there are still things likePrEP, which is the pre exposure
pophylaxis or prep, which youcan take after if you think that
you've been exposed, right?
And then something else aboutSTIs is like understanding.
That like people who do have anSTI are not dirty.
(30:04):
They're not bad people.
They deserve pleasure just likeeverybody else, right?
So sometimes I feel like theconversations around STIs also
get kind of mean in a way.
But it's like everybody deservespleasure, right?
So even if you do later gettested and you realize that you
test positive for something, trynot to panic, right?
(30:26):
Because most STIs are eithercurable or there's treatments,
right?
You're still going to live ahappy, healthy life.
But also while remembering thatthey are all preventable, also,
right?
So Right.
SPEAKER_00 (30:37):
And I think I guess I were it brings us to the
destigmatization of STIs.
It's sort of silly because wetalk about it like curing, like
this terrible thing you contractto cure.
But most of them are just kindof like when you go and you kiss
someone who has a viral diseaseor sickness, and then you have
(30:57):
it, you have to go and get anantibiotic in 10 days it's gone.
Right.
By and large, most of the STIsare a bacterial disease that you
got that you can get rid of witha 10-day or seven-day.
I think it's usually 10-dayantibiotic, right?
Or I mean there are some thatare permanent.
(31:17):
We're talking about herpes.
So many people have herpes ofthe mouth, and we don't
stigmatize them because you canget it from kissing.
You can get it through the birthcanal, right?
And herpes, it's just in adifferent, it's in a different
area.
And nobody wants to experiencethat.
But again, if you are someone myage and you were raised in the
(31:39):
age of AIDS, we were reallyprogrammed to be terrified of
anything STI related to anextent that it made sex really
miserable.
But I want to go back to thesafety aspect because I well,
well, it's hard to give youcan't really give percentages.
What I can tell you is this thestudies show that people who are
a sex positive who tend toengage with multiple partners,
(32:04):
whether through polyamory or sexparties, threesomes, whatever,
they tend to have a lower STIrate.
And it's because they are in thesex positive community where
getting regular testing done issomething that's very common.
We're talking openly about yourhealth status, isn't it a shame
(32:28):
attached to it.
Where using condoms or usingdifferent types of safety
measures, it's common to haveopen conversations around it.
It's common to come up withsolutions.
And it's just looked at verydifferently.
Where a lot of the STItransmission happens actually
tends to be in more monogamousrelationships where cheating is
(32:51):
happening and things arehappening behind people's back,
and it's hard to go get tested,and it's hard to have those
conversations.
So you see a difference insafety in those situations.
Now you're looking at a playparty where communication is
like top priority, right?
Planning is top priority.
(33:13):
So we've already said thatstaying sober is your number one
line of safety.
I would say your number two lineof safety is learning your no's
and yeses.
Because it can be really hardwith anyone to say like no,
especially when you're in a bigplay setting, like finding your
voice so that if someoneapproaches you, and let's say
(33:36):
you're really into them, andthen they're like, I don't like
the way a condom feels.
You are feel free to say, hey,okay, then your dick stays over
there.
And, you know, look, there areother things you can do.
You can use your fingers.
We brought toys, we can, youknow, whatever.
But I'm I'm not going to havesex with you without a condom.
Like really finding your voiceis super important.
(33:59):
It's not safe to go intosituations like that if you
don't feel like you can say whatyou need to start.
SPEAKER_01 (34:06):
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
To practice that really, even ifyou practice in a mirror, right?
Like practice saying no,practice saying, here are my
boundaries, here's what I'minto.
I always find practicing outloud helps, anyways, but also in
the situation, practice ahead oftime, practice in the mirror.
SPEAKER_00 (34:24):
Right, right.
Find your voice.
And then, ladies, people withvulvas, people who don't have
penises, this is frustrating.
But I I would like to say thatit's on penis owners to have the
condoms and the condoms thatwork for them.
I would suggest have it bringingthem regardless, so that if you
(34:46):
do meet someone and they'relike, I want to have sex with
you, but I forgot to bringcondoms.
And usually there are condomseverywhere at these parties
anyway.
But I would just always have theones that work for your body,
right?
Like I don't like latex.
So I try to have condoms on handthat I'm not going to that are
going to feel good to me, right?
(35:07):
Yeah.
Just in case.
But also knowing your options.
And so I want to take this timeto go over more options.
So we've talked about condoms.
Can you really quickly runthrough the different type of
condoms?
Because again, I didn't evenknow about some of these
options.
But just so that listeners areaware of if you are wanting to
(35:31):
go to a play party and you want,you know, you have to.
You have to get a condom.
You have to have some, or you'regoing to be stuck using the
cheap kind that they have there,right?
The Trojans, the Trojans.
Let's be honest.
Uh, what are all the optionswith the different condoms?
And then we're going to move onto other sort of safety measures
(35:53):
that you can bring with you.
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
Sure.
So there's all kinds ofdifferent brands, but like, for
example, under one condoms, thestandard size that we have has
different styles.
Like we have a studded condomthat's one of our most popular
ones because it has like littleraised studs that kind of
simulate that stimulate thenerve endings, right?
We have the custom fit condomline.
And I'm so glad you also broughtup non-latex, right?
(36:18):
There's different materials thatcondoms can be made out of.
And even I'm excited by the endof this year, early next year,
the custom fit line is going tohave a non-latex option because
we've been hearing so many foryears now that people want more
non-latex options, especiallydifferent sizes.
So my one's gonna come in anon-latex option.
And there's different materialsthat non-latex can be.
(36:41):
Nitrile is one.
Then there's something calledpolyisoprene, like a the most
popular non-latex condom rightnow on the market is probably
skin.
It's made from polyzoprene,which is very poly.
Yeah.
That's what I've used so far.
And it's interesting,polyisoprene condoms are like
they're made, they come fromrubber trees, just like latex
(37:02):
condoms do.
It's just that they remove theproteins in the manufacturing
process that would cause a latexallergy.
Also, polyurethane, which is aform of plastic, like that's
softened up.
The reason polyisoprene is alsocool because it has great heat
transfer.
SPEAKER_00 (37:18):
So that's the one you were talking about, the heat
transfer.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (37:21):
And then even if like Yeah, and even if you can't
find like a great condom fitunder our myelin line, despite
its 52 sizes, there are stillpeople who need a condom that's
e like shorter and tighter oreven longer or wider than what
we have.
So I often recommend the FC2internal condom, right?
(37:42):
Because you can use it vaginallyor anally.
And you it doesn't conform topenis size because it goes
inside somebody else.
So, and the great thing aboutthe FC2 that's on the market,
that's the only approvedinternal condom on the market
right now, is that it's made ofnitrile.
So it's also a non-latex optionif you do have a latex allergy.
SPEAKER_00 (38:02):
So that would be what I would call the female
condom, right?
The one where it's so can youexplain this?
Because I don't think a lot ofpeople have not heard of or used
these.
Can you explain how those work?
SPEAKER_01 (38:15):
Absolutely.
So there's a ring, it looks likea condom kind of turned inside
out, and it's a little bitbigger in circumference.
And the way you insert it intothe vagina is you kind of
squeeze, there's an inner ringon the inside, and you squeeze
it almost like a tampon, and youput it in almost like a tampon,
and it sits at the top of yourcervix, and then it just stays
(38:37):
in the inside of your vagina.
There's an outer ring that'skind of hangs out on the outside
of the vulva, and then, youknow, someone inserts their
penis toy or whatever inside,and it's just in the vagina or
in the anus instead of on thepenis.
I will say that don't knock itafter the first try.
(38:58):
After, like, I had to try it afew times, right?
Because it's just a waydifferent experience when you
you're wearing it.
But the cool thing about it is Ithink that that inner ring is
almost like a sex toy built inthere because it rubs up against
like inside.
So that's also like a coolsensation.
Some people don't like thatsensation, but I personally do.
(39:19):
So, but I would recommend if youtry the internal condom.
Another thing, definitely try itat home first.
SPEAKER_00 (39:26):
Right, right.
Okay.
So that's an option.
Are there any other options forsafety products that we haven't
talked about?
Lube.
Lube.
Lube.
What kind of lube is best to usewith condoms and with toys at a
play party?
SPEAKER_01 (39:44):
So there's different types of lubricants.
The lubricant that is on mostcondoms, fun fact, is
silicone-based lubricant.
But personal lubricants, there'ssilicone, water-based, hybrid.
Some people use oil-based stuff,which I'll get to in a moment.
Um, silicone, we have one calledMoo.
(40:06):
I'll show you.
It's very this is my favoritelube.
Not just because I work here,but because it generally is like
an amazing lube.
It because it's silicone, itlasts long, like for sex
parties.
So silicone is great because itlasts a little goes a long way.
But you shouldn't use siliconewith silicone-based sex toys
because the silicone can bind tothe sex toy and then cause the
(40:28):
toy to kind of deteriorate onthe surface.
So if you are using at a playparty toys, just make sure that
the toy is compatible with thelubricant.
Water-based is definitely themost common one.
We have something called oasis,where it's compatible with toys,
condoms, all the good stuff.
And it absorbs into the skin alittle bit differently than
(40:49):
silicone, so you don't reallyhave a lot of cleanup
afterwards.
Then hybrid is mostly awater-based formula, but a
little bit silicone added sothat you kind of get the
benefits of both.
We have something called OasisSill.
We're also coming out later thisyear with the natural lubricant,
and that's all I can really say,but it's very cool.
It's like derived from mostlynatural ingredients like aloe
(41:11):
and stuff like that.
And then some people useoil-based stuff, which might be
like coconut oil is a popularthing that some people use.
But the important thing to knowis you cannot use anything
oil-based, whether it's lotionsor anything, anything that has
oil with latex condoms, becauseit will cause the condom to
(41:32):
break.
Kind of a fun science experimentat home.
I don't know what you considerfun, but like rubbing some kind
of lotion on a latex condom andseeing how quickly it really
starts to deteriorate and break.
So just checking thecompatibility of the lubricant
you use with the toys andcondoms you use is important.
SPEAKER_00 (41:50):
All right, guys.
So there it is.
If I were to give you a to-gobag from this episode, things
you need to know.
Number one, be prepared to notbe blotto, drunk as fuck, at a
play party.
So you're gonna have to do somelike self-work and calm your
nervous system and know you arein control going into play
(42:12):
spaces.
And most of them generally aregoing to be full of sex positive
people who know the rules.
Uh two, know the red flags.
If you you walk into a playparty and certain things aren't
in place, first of all, youshould see condoms strewn about.
Hopefully, they kick off with aconversation that lists some
(42:33):
rules.
Maybe does a consent.
There's a consent talk.
I've definitely seen that.
You see some of those basicthings in place.
So kind of list out the thingsyou're going to look for, right?
Practice your no's and youryeses and finding your voice.
Those are going to be the threetop things, safety-wise, to keep
yourself safe.
And then outside of that, knowthat you have access to all of
(42:56):
these physical barriers you canbring.
The condoms, there's so manydifferent types.
There's no excuse for someonewith a penis not to be able to
find a condom that will do thejob, right?
Maybe it won't feel as good aswhen it's bare, but it will feel
pretty good.
Also, recognize sex isn't justpenetrative.
You can go to a play party andhave non-penetrative sex where
(43:20):
there isn't that fear of, youknow, play that comes from, you
know, P and V sex or, you know,fluid exchange, genital fluid
exchange.
Sex is a broad topic, andthere's so many, it's it's a
broad activity, and there's somany things that you can do
intimacy-wise at a play party,or you can do nothing and watch.
(43:44):
You can be a watcher.
That is something.
There are, I call them femalecondoms, you call them internal
con condoms.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (43:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (43:54):
And always have lube.
SPEAKER_01 (43:56):
Always always bring lube, folks.
Always bring lube.
Because it is true, even withlube, like significantly reduces
the chance of a condom breaking,also.
So it's like the pleasurecomfort aspect of lube, but also
it really does help condoms frombreaking.
So lube and condoms, they'reyour best.
SPEAKER_00 (44:15):
There you go.
We have the right kind.
Thank you so much for thisconversation, Mila.
Can you tell my listeners wherethey can find out more about you
and about the condoms yourepresent?
SPEAKER_01 (44:26):
Absolutely.
So you can go to one condoms.comto check out all the different
condoms.
If you do one condoms.com slashmy one, then you'll find the
custom fit condoms, but they'reall pretty easy to find on the
website.
And you can come check out someof our stuff on Instagram,
TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn.
(44:46):
Yeah.
And it's just at one condoms, soit's very easy to remember.
SPEAKER_00 (44:51):
Thank you so much for joining us, folks.
If you've gotten that invite andyou're ready to go play, I'm
sending you a personalcongratulations.
Just make sure you are preparedin advance.
Prepared not only to enjoyyourself as much as you can, but
to feel and stay safe.
And you've been given a lot ofinformation in this podcast
(45:13):
that's going to help you doexactly that.
Now go have fun.
And fuck, remember, pleasure isyour birthright.
Go and get it.
Right?
Cheers to that.
Cheers to that.
So until next time, listeners,we'll see you in the locker
room.
Cheers.
Bye.
(45:35):
Right, Lou.
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