How to Touch a Woman So She Actually Wants You — The 4-Minute Method - Talk Sex with Annette

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER (00:45):
SPEAKER_00
I'm Annette Benedetti, host ofthe podcast formerly known as
Locker Room Talk and Shots.
The show has a new name, TalkSex with Annette.
But at its core, this is stillyour locker room.
It's where we strip away shame,get curious, and speak the
unspoken about sex, kink,dating, pleasure, and desire.

(01:06):
Around here, nothing's offlimits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends, and of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest, and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome to mypodcast where desire meets

(01:27):
disruption and pleasure becomespower.
Now, let's talk about sex.
Cheers.
Ranglo.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is how to touch a woman so
she actually wants you.
The four-minute method.
I've had so many people,especially men, reach out to me

asking the same question (01:50):
How do I get my partner to want me
again?
How do I make intimacy feelexciting and not like an
obligation?
And here's the truth.
While some women respondinstantly to direct sexual or
intimate touch, especially earlyin a relationship, most women

(02:12):
don't, especially after years ofwork stress, mental load,
parenting, and life.
For a lot of women, intimacystarted as an escape.
But somewhere along the way, itbecame another chore on the
to-do list.
So today I'm giving you thething that changes everything.

(02:33):
How to touch her in a way thatturns her back on emotionally,
physically, and intimatelybefore you go anywhere near
those sexual or intimatephysical zones.
This is the kind of touch thatmakes her soften, open, melt,

(02:54):
and actually want more.
This is the kind of touch thatgets her out of her head and
into her body.
This is the kind of touch thatmakes her desire rise naturally.
And when you know how to dothis, you don't have to bake or
barter for intimacy anymore.
Her body will begin respondingon its own and she'll begin to

(03:16):
crave it more.
If you want her to want you, youstart by touching the parts of
her that make her feel safe,desired, and powerful again.
That's what brings her innergoddess back online.
But before we dive in, I have toremind you that I'm over on
OnlyFans and there.

(03:37):
I'm sharing my sex and intimacyhow-to's, demos, and audio
guided self-pleasuremeditations, and I'm offering
some one-on-one coaching.
That's right.
If you're not ready to dive intoa full sex and intimacy coaching
relationship, then you can getone-off questions answered
there.
So I am also doing a lot of thesame over on Substack, except

(04:01):
for, of course, the demos andthe coaching.
And you can find me in bothplaces with my handle at
TalkSexWithanette.
And of course, you can scrolldown to the show notes below and
you're gonna find links toeverywhere you want to find me
there.
I cannot wait to see you in allof the places.
But for now, let's get into howto touch a woman so that she

(04:22):
wants intimacy.
She craves it.
You're no longer bartering forit or begging for it.
You are both enjoying itregularly together.
I'm gonna give you all of thatplus my four-minute touch method
that's gonna help that happen.
Let's dive in.
Cheers.
When a woman is stressed,distracted, or touched too

(04:44):
quickly, her body literallytightens.
Her pelvic floor clenches, herbreath shortens, sensitivity
drops.
Touching her genitals orintimate areas first is like
trying to light a candle in awindstorm.
To get deeper responsiveness,you have to touch the parts of
her body that make her relaxfirst.

(05:05):
That's the switch.
That's what opens her.

Look at it like this (05:09):
relaxation opens the door to arousal for a
woman.
If you don't open that first,nothing else opens.
Not her body, not her desire,and not her pleasure.
So now let's talk about thethree zones of a woman's body
that, when touched correctly,can allow her to open up to
arousal and desire and make herstart craving more.

(05:33):
There are three places you cantouch that make a woman melt
open almost instantly.
The first one is her back andspine.
Slow downward strokes calm hersystem.
The second is her hips or at herthighs, and this is where
grounding happens.
So touching here lowers tensionfast.

(05:56):
And then there's, of course, thepelvic parameter.
I'm not talking about the pelvicarea itself.
I'm talking about the parameter.
Touching around her center, notdirectly on it, builds
anticipation and increases bloodflow.
That's how you unlock thecenter, which is, of course,

(06:17):
where you eventually want to go.
When a woman feels unrushed andfully seen, her whole body
softens.
Cortisol drops.
Cortisol is that stress hormonethat wreaks havoc on a body.
Oxytocin rises, which of courseis that feel-good hormone that
gets us all in the mood.

(06:38):
And suddenly touch feels deeper,safer, and more intimate, which
is, of course, what we want.
Presence is what gets her out ofher head and into her body.
And it's so important that sheis in her body because that is
where she needs to be if she'sgoing to want more intimacy with

(06:59):
you.
If she's in her head, she issomewhere else.
She's not in the room with you.
Her body doesn't open forpressure, it opens for presence.
Now let's talk about myfour-minute method.
Now that you understand why itworks and what we're trying to
make happen, I'm going to giveyou the exact four-minute

(07:21):
sequence that warms her bodyopen fast without rushing
anything sexual or intimate.
This is the part that peoplealways ask me for.
Just tell me exactly what to dowith my hands so she actually
wants me, not out of obligation,but because her whole body is
saying yes.
And here's the truth.
You don't need an hour, youdon't need a massage table, and

(07:43):
you definitely don't need to bea sex expert.
You just need four intentionalminutes, four minutes that move
her from stressed and shut downto relaxed, receptive, and
deeply connected to her owndesire.
This is a sequence thatactivates her nervous system,
settles her breath, increasesblood flow, and makes her body
naturally open to deeperintimacy.

(08:06):
Follow these four minutes inorder without rushing or
skipping ahead, and you're goingto feel her melt under your
hands.
You're going to feel her wantyou again.
So let's start with the firstminute, the anchor touch.
You're going to place both ofyour hands on her upper back and
just slow down.

(08:28):
Drag your hands downward towardsher hip in one long, steady
motion.
Don't lift your hands off herbody, don't change your speed.
Just give her the kind of touchher nervous system can trust.
Here's why this matters.
When you run your hand down herspine, you activate the vagus
nerve, the pathway that shiftsher out of stress and into

(08:51):
relaxation.
And a relaxed body is aresponsive body.
You're not trying to rouse heryet.
But this is also a great momentto linger in.
It gives you the opportunity tokiss the back of her neck, to
whisper in her ear, and to justget close to her and let her

(09:12):
know you are fully present andthere with her.
You are grounding her.
You are giving her bodypermission to melt.
Now, when your hand reaches herlower back, you've been moving
down her back very slowly,adding pressure, being present.
You're going to glide themaround her waist without

(09:32):
breaking contact.
Let them settle on her hips.
This single transition tells herbody you're safe.
Stay here, stay open.
So now we're into minute two.
We are going to be working herhips and her outer thighs.
You're going to keep your handsfull and warm on her hips.

(09:55):
Let your palms sink just enoughfor her to feel held.
Then drag your hands slowly downthe outer thighs.
No squeezing, we're notgrabbing, just long grounding
strokes that connect her breathand her body.
I know that when you getexcited, this can be hard.
You want to grab her, you'refeeling primal, but that's not
what we're doing, right?

And here's why this works (10:16):
her hips and outer thighs are
grounding zones.
When you touch her here, herpelvic floor naturally begins to
relax.
If she's tense, stressed, ormentally scattered, this is
where her body starts to let go.
From the outer thighs, yourhands are gonna drift inward

(10:36):
toward her inner thighs withouttouching the center.
We're not going straight forgrabbing the genitals.
That's gonna shut her down, Ipromise you.
Look, that slight inward shiftbuilds anticipation.
And anticipation is anaphrodisiac.
This is the moment she stopsthinking and starts feeling,

(11:00):
which is exactly what you want.
And so now we're gonna move into minute number three.
Minute three is whereanticipation starts doing the
work for you.
Use slow, wide teasing strokesalong her inner thighs.
Then you're gonna move up towardher lower stomach and do the
same.
Think slow, soft, and indirect.

(11:21):
You're still not touching thecenter, but you're getting close
enough that her body knowswhat's coming.
And here's why this matterstouching the inner thighs
increases blood flow to herpelvic region.
That's what you want.
Touching the lower stomachrelaxes her lower abdominals and
deepens her breath.

(11:42):
Together, these touches raiseher sensitivity pretty quickly.
You're going to want to watchher hips and her breath.
When she starts breathingdeeper, or her hips rise on
their own, you know she'sshifting into arousal.
So to transition, you're goingto trace a soft line with your
fingertips from her stomachdownward, then sweep outward in

(12:06):
a circle around her center.
Of course, we're talking abouther vulva and clitoral area.
This is your bridge into thenext zone.
And now we are at minute four.
This is where everything opens.
You're going to touch the pelvicperimeter, not the center,
around it, using slow circles,soft tracing, gentle taps,

(12:28):
consistent contact, nothingdirect.
Think of it as drawing a360-degree halo around the most
sensitive part of her body.
And here's why this works.
The skin around the center ispacked with nerve endings that
travel through her arousalpathways, heightens sensitivity,

(12:49):
increases blood flow, and makesher body rise towards you
without you ever having to ask.
When her hips start liftingtowards your hand, that's an
invitation.
That's her body saying, I'mopen, I'm ready, take me where
you want to go next.
So I have to add a note here.
I've given you a four-minutescript, but what you really want

(13:12):
to use to dictate when to moveto the next zone is her body's
responsiveness, her cues,whether that's verbal or
physical, inviting you to moveto the next zone.
I've given you some really goodcues throughout the script to
look for.
Her body will invite your touchto move.
You can look for subtle shiftsin her body, asking you to kind

(13:36):
of move one direction or theother.
If that happens before theminute is over, take the
invitation.
Don't stick to a timer.
We are looking for somethingorganic to happen here.
Follow those natural organiccues because if you miss one,
that could be a negative signalto her and cause her cortisol

(13:57):
levels to spike and everythingto shut down.
So really be present, really beattuned.
This is not only going to arouseher, it's going to arouse you.
So touch alone is not going toget you there.
Women open to words just as muchas hands because language shapes
safety, desire, and trust.

(14:19):
When you speak to her while youtouch her, you're doing three
things at once.
You're lowering her cortisol,grounding her nervous system,
and reminding her she's wantedand not obligated.
That's why the right wordsmatter.
So here are the lines that melta woman immediately because they
make her feel chosen and notrushed.
Slow down with me.

(14:41):
I want to enjoy every part ofyou.
Or my personal favorite is Ilove the way you feel.
You can always just say, I'mlistening.
Tell me whatever your bodywants, or let me take my time
with you.
These aren't pickup lines,they're nervous system medicine.

(15:02):
They make her feel safe enoughto soften and desired enough to
open.
When a woman feels safe, herdesire wakes up.
Your words are the switch.
Most people rush straight intointimate touch and wonder why it
feels forced, disconnected, orrepetitive.
But when you start with the kindof touch that opens her body

(15:24):
first, deep, slow, grounding,and intentional touch,
everything after becomeseffortless.
Her desire rises on its own, herresponsiveness skyrockets.
And the intimacy you've beenmissing starts to rebuild
naturally.
So a surprise for tonight.
Give this a try.
And then let me know how itgoes.

(15:45):
If you're over on my YouTubechannel, I want you to drop your
experience in the commentsection below this video.
You can always email me, ofcourse, at Annette at
talksexwithanet.com.
And if you are wanting acheerleader, a support person, a
wingwoman, if you will, on yourown intimacy journey, my books
are open.
You can find out more about mycoaching techniques at Annette

(16:08):
at talkswithanet.com.
You can also get a taste of mycoaching practices over on
OnlyFans at TalkSex withAnnette, where you're also going
to find my sex and intimacyhow-to's and demos and audio
guided self-pleasuremeditations.
I can't wait to hear how thisworks for you.

(16:28):
And until next time, I'll seey'all in the locker room.
Cheers.

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How to Touch a Woman So She Actually Wants You — The 4-Minute Method

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