October 8, 2025 • 48 mins
What if locking it up could actually unlock better sex?
Welcome to Locktober 2025, the orgasm control challenge that’s helping men become more attentive, connected, and seriously better lovers. In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, I’m joined by Lilith Fox — a queer, BIPOC, neurodivergent, kinky, and polyamorous Board-Certified Sexologist and Certified Sexuality Educator who actually practices chastity play with her partner.
Together, we’re breaking down:
🔒 What male chastity and orgasm control really are (and what they’re not)
🔥 Why control and delayed gratification can heighten desire and improve intimacy
🧠 How this challenge rewires masculine conditioning and turns focus into foreplay
💋 Tips for couples curious to try Locktober together — safely, confidently, and playfully
This isn’t about shame or denial. It’s about expanding your definition of pleasure, learning self-control, and discovering new ways to connect with your partner.
So if you’ve ever wondered what the deal is with Locktober or why some men swear orgasm control made them better in bed — this one’s for you.
Find out more about Lilith at: https://lilithfoxx.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Do the sex.
I'm Annette Benedetti, host ofthe podcast formerly known as
Locker Room Talk and Shots.
The show has a new name, TalkSex with Annette.
But at its core, this is stillyour locker room.
It's where we strip away shame,get curious, and speak the
unspoken about sex, kink,dating, pleasure, and desire.
(00:22):
Around here, nothing's offlimits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends, and of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest, and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome to mypodcast where desire meets
(00:43):
disruption and pleasure becomespower.
Now, let's talk about sex.
Cheers.
Right, Low.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is Lochtober 2025, the
orgasm control challenge thatmakes men better lovers.
(01:05):
Locktober gets a bad rap.
People hear Mill Chastity andpicture some poor guy locked in
a cage while his partner laughsat him.
But here's the truth.
Locktober is the orgasm controlchallenge that can actually make
men hotter, sexier, and evenbetter in bed.
Why?
Because when you give up theright to come whenever you want,
(01:27):
you start paying attention inways that most men oftentimes
don't.
You feel more, you crave harder,and when the lock finally comes
off, you're better equipped toblow her mind.
And who better to talk aboutthis than my guest today, Lilith
Fox?
Lilith is a BIPOC, queer,neurodivergent, kinky, and
(01:51):
polyamorous board-certifiedsexologist, a certified
sexuality educator, professionalspeaker, and inclusivity
consultant.
She's a graduate of the KinseyInstitute Human Sexuality
Intensive, trained inpsychological first aid at Johns
Hopkins, and she's been anactive member of the BDSM and
(02:14):
non-monogamy communities forover a decade.
Oh, and she actually practicesLochtober with her partner.
So today we are breaking downwhat Lochtober really is, why
it's way more than no nutNovember, which we will be
talking about, folks.
(02:35):
If you haven't listened to thoseepisodes in the past, I'm going
to be touching on them in thefuture.
And how orgasm control mightjust be the kink that rewires
masculinity and makes you abetter lover.
But before we dive in, I want toremind you that I'm over on
OnlyFans, and that's where I amsharing my sex and intimacy
how-tos and demonstrations,along with audio guided
(02:56):
self-pleasure meditations andone-off sex and intimacy
coaching QA's.
That's right.
If you're not ready to dedicateyourself to a full-fledged
coaching service, I'll give youa little taste of what I have to
offer and I'll answer some ofthose questions you guys keep
sending me in the mail.
You can find me there by myhandle at Talk Sex within it.
(03:18):
You can find me over on Substackdoing a whole lot of the same,
minus the coaching and the demosat TalkSexWithanet.
Of course, you can scroll downto the notes below this episode,
and you're going to find linksto everywhere you want to find
me.
I cannot wait to see you there.
But now I would like to giveLilith a moment to introduce
herself to you.
SPEAKER_01 (03:38):
Thanks, Annette.
Thanks so much for having me.
So, like you said, I'm a queerBIPOC, neurodivergent,
sports-certified sexologist.
I'm based out of Houston, Texas.
I guess a little bit about me isthat I didn't always find
sexuality to be empowering.
I actually grew up in purityculture from a very, very strict
(03:59):
household where sex was nottalked about.
Periods weren't even talkedabout, let alone sex.
And so I've come full circle.
And it's funny, if you asked meas a child, if you told me as a
child that this is where I'd benow, I would just completely
think you're lying.
So yeah, I find sex to now beone of the most empowering core
parts of the human experience.
SPEAKER_00 (04:20):
It's funny.
So many of my experts came fromsort of the same origin story.
I mean, if you asked me, Icertainly wouldn't have thought
I'd be here today.
But I think that's what makes usextra good at our jobs.
We know the journey and howempowering and important it is
to our whole health and and thesociety and society's whole
(04:41):
health, right?
I'm excited to have thisconversation.
Guys, I don't need to tell youwhy to stay to the end.
I know you know why you're gonnastay to the end, but I'm gonna
tell you anyways.
By the end of this episode,you're gonna have a little go
back.
If you're curious and you wantto give October a try, it's not
too late.
We're a weekend, it's okay.
You can give it, you can trystart, start today, and you're
(05:03):
gonna know how to do that, or atleast feel better equipped, less
afraid, and maybe even inspiredto do it.
So stay to the end.
I'm excited about thisconversation.
This is one of my favorite timesof year.
So let's do it.
Let's talk about male chastityand how it's gonna make the men
of the world better lovers.
Cheers.
(05:24):
Cheers.
So though I have had manypodcasts that I am sending out,
my past podcast, aboutLocktober, I would love it if
just for somebody who is new tothis channel and to the concept,
if you could just give a quickexplanation about what Locktober
is.
SPEAKER_01 (05:44):
Absolutely.
So during the month of October,people who are identify as male
or have a penis, they will lockthemselves into a chastity cage
or refrain from sex.
And it's specifically kind ofstarted out as something with a
little more of like from theperspective of like a dominatrix
and her sub.
So it was a little more fromlike a degradation perspective,
(06:06):
but it's expanded to be so muchmore than that.
SPEAKER_00 (06:10):
And can you explain male chastity to my
listenership?
SPEAKER_01 (06:14):
Absolutely.
So male chastity can be a numberof different things.
For some people, it can actuallybe a device that locks onto the
penis and/or balls and itprevents erection.
It certainly prevents orgasm aswell.
SPEAKER_00 (06:30):
Now, a lot of people, especially heteromative
people, when they hear malechastity, when they hear about a
penis being locked in a cage,and especially if the key holder
is a woman, instantly there area lot of negative connotations.
(06:53):
I and and especially when itcomes to the male ego, the idea
of withholding orgasm or havingit withheld can be negative.
Can you talk about why it feelsso threatening to men and why in
actual this practice can beempowering to everybody
involved?
SPEAKER_01 (07:14):
Yeah, so men are conditioned to kind of be the
ones in charge during sex.
They're conditioned to kind ofbe the dominant, the one on top,
the the one that gives sex asopposed to actually receiving
even their own pleasure.
And whereas women are supposedto be the submissive ones who
receive during sex are the ones,you know, getting fucked, so to
(07:34):
speak.
And that can, I mean, that justkind of is the total opposite of
Locktober and chastity.
Chastity was always somethinghistorically reserved for women.
You always wanted to stay chastfor your marriage, stay chast
for your future husband one day,or he won't find value in you.
So there's a lot there that isassociated with women,
(07:57):
associated with submission, andgoes kind of against how most
men were conditioned.
And the way we can kind of flipthat on its head is looking at
it as an opportunity to be muchmore intentional when it comes
to sex and when it comes topleasure, both our own and our
partners, it's gonna have a lotof benefits.
(08:17):
Which I'm sure we'll get intomore as well.
SPEAKER_00 (08:20):
Right.
So I said at the beginning ofthis that male chastity and
practicing it can make menbetter lovers.
Do you agree with me?
And if so, can you quickly justname some reasons or ways in
which that is true?
SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
I do agree with you.
And the reason being is there'sso much that you can focus on
when you don't have just theclassic, you know, PIV sex on
the table.
You have to get more creative,both again, with your own
pleasure and your partner'spleasure.
It kind of, I don't want to sayforces you, but I would say
encourages you to focus on yourpartner's pleasure, which is
(09:01):
something that for a lot ofwomen, they don't receive in
bed.
And you not only have to kind offocus on the pleasure, you start
to kind of value sex a littlemore, I would say, because you
kind of, you know, you know whatyou're missing.
So that anticipation is there,that like heightened intimacy is
there.
You have to start buildingpatience and self-control
(09:24):
because for once, it's not aboutyou.
It is about your partner.
And you so you you focus onthem, you focus on their
pleasure.
My partner describes it as theirpleasure suddenly is on the back
seat, but it's so much moreheightened, kind of like you
know, a kid that isn't allowedto have candy.
You're gonna want that candymore.
There is an emotional andpsychological shift.
(09:46):
There's definitely avulnerability there that a lot
of men in particular don't getto experience because they're
conditioned to not haveemotions, to not experience
vulnerability in any capacity.
It's associated with weakness.
But you have to be vulnerablewhen you're in chastity,
especially when someone else isyour key holder.
And that kind of allows you, Iguess, the canvas to sort of
(10:07):
paint on with this eroticrepertoire.
You now get to explore more.
You get to try things that youdidn't try before because it's a
whole lot easier to just resortto, you know, known patterns.
So I would say I completelyagree with you that it does make
men better lovers.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
Let's talk about this erotic canvas.
You let's say a couple.
I'm gonna you can lock your owncock into a cage, by the way.
You can do all of this on yourown.
But I want to talk in sort ofthe context of being partnered
and the canvas that then exists.
(10:45):
People are like, oh, well, youlock up his penis, and then what
do we, what do we do, right?
What does it look like?
Why would one want to lock uptheir partner's penis?
What happens after?
What's what's the game planthen?
SPEAKER_01 (11:01):
Yeah, the game plan is to expand your definition of
sex.
So many people just see sex asPIB sex, penis in vagina.
They're not seeing it asanything else, whereas like oral
sex can be just as satisfying,can be just as empowering and
fulfilling.
And yet we often see that as theprecursor to actual sex in
(11:22):
quotes.
So now we get to focus on makingoral the experience.
We get to focus on maybe kissingand like, you know, caressing
and touching, just sharing spacetogether.
You can have your partner showyou how they pleasure
themselves.
It's often something not donebecause we just fall into old
patterns and old methods ofbehavior where it's a whole lot
(11:44):
easier to just do what you know.
And a lot of couples fall intoruts that way as well.
SPEAKER_00 (11:50):
So as far as like the heart of the fingering and
using your hands.
Like as a queer woman myself, Imean, I have partners that don't
have penises.
And you know, we have incrediblesex, and our hands are
instruments that are used.
And can do a lot more than apenis can.
SPEAKER_01 (12:13):
Yeah, absolutely.
You have hands, you have toys,you can bring vibration into the
fun.
There's a lot there that just alot of people haven't explored
because it's a whole lot easieragain to just do what you know.
But this kind of for being inchastity kind of forces you to
explore a little more.
SPEAKER_00 (12:31):
And also the end of sex is no longer marked by the
male orgasm.
Yes.
Right?
SPEAKER_01 (12:37):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
The end of sex happens whenyou're when you're both ready
for it to be over.
It's a much more collaborativeexperience as opposed to just
kind of the one and done.
It's done at this point becauseof the male orgasm.
SPEAKER_00 (12:50):
Yeah, you're gonna have those like two-hour
sessions or three-hour sessionsif you want to, because you
know, because his penis is notrunning the show.
I mean, not that it I alwaysthink you can keep having sex
after orgasm, anyways, but Ithink in our system we tend to
mark the end of sex by the endof the initial climax, which is
(13:15):
too bad.
But we do.
SPEAKER_01 (13:18):
And the other side of it too is if you are a person
who struggles with things likeerectile dysfunction or just
performance anxiety, chastity isa really great way to kind of
just take that off the table andagain focus on pleasure.
For a lot of people who aresurvivors of sexual assault, it
can be really difficult toconnect back to pleasure.
And that can be a reallypowerful way of reclaiming your
(13:41):
own sexuality, even if somebodyelse is your key holder, kind of
reclaiming that power and againredefining pleasure for
yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (13:50):
I hadn't even thought about that.
As especially if someone who'sstruggling with ED that's
charged by anxiety and sort ofthe mental wiring around sex,
that could be incrediblyempowering because the penis is
taken off the table.
And also, can we just talk abouthow arousing it can be for a
(14:13):
woman to see a cock in a cage?
Like, I don't know, for me,maybe that's lingerie.
That's that's lingerie for me.
Like, I can just look at thatand then then you get the
pleasure from other parts of thebody looking at that, the the
penis in the cage, and thenhaving someone with it on
pleasure you in other waysthat's hot.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
So hot, absolutely, and there's so many different
styles of cages, too.
So you can find one that worksfor you.
Some people really love like themore cagey looking one where
it's kind of the cot kind ofpeeks out from the holes, others
like a more fuller cage wherethe cot goes completely into
it's kind of completely encased.
So there's a lot of differentstyles as well.
Just like you said, lingerie.
(14:56):
That's a really great analogyfor it.
SPEAKER_00 (14:58):
100%.
I like I like the bars.
I like to see the bars over it.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (15:02):
I do too.
And it's really fun when youtease your partner and they
actually do get the erection andit kind of pokes out a little
bit from the bars.
SPEAKER_00 (15:11):
Yep.
Yep.
All right.
We're on the same page.
We're on the same page.
And and I think also that ifthere's someone who is
struggling with ED, that issomething that could allow them
to start to feel full and feelthe erection come on because it
doesn't, you know, there's notthe stress around it.
You can or you can't.
It doesn't matter.
The fun is going to happenanyway.
(15:32):
I want to back up a little bitfor again for my listeners who
aren't as familiar withespecially October, and they're
like, oh, well, when does itwhen does the penis go in the
cage?
When does it come out?
Like, what do you do throughoutthe day?
Do you wear the cage throughoutthe day?
Can we get into some specificsso they get a better picture of
what it can look like on aday-to-day basis?
(15:55):
And then, of course, in October,what it can look like during the
month of October.
SPEAKER_01 (16:01):
Yeah.
So you want to have a cage thatfits well.
That is the biggest prioritybecause it's a safety issue.
There's an inner ring that youactually have to measure.
A lot of websites and companiesthat sell cages will have a
guide on like how to measure andlike how, especially with their
product.
So you want to prioritizegetting a good fit.
Don't be afraid to contact thecompanies directly too, because
(16:24):
they can actually help out withthe fit as well.
So that should be your biggestpriority, making sure you get
one that fits.
Then you kind of decide, kind ofnegotiate with your partner how
you want it to look wearing it.
Do you want to wear itindefinitely for the whole
month?
Do you just want to have it onat night?
Do you just want to have it onduring the day?
(16:44):
Are you going to, you know, takeit out once a week?
How do you want to do that?
It's there's no health riskswith like keeping it in,
provided it's a well-fittingcage.
There's no health risks withwearing it indefinitely.
That said, you always want to,like if you're going to a
doctor's appointment orsomething, you definitely want
to be out of your cage to allowfor your doctor to, you know,
fully examine your physicalhealth.
(17:04):
Or, you know, I don't there aresome cages that are made with
materials that are safe for TSA,but I just don't personally feel
comfortable flying in a in acage.
Just, you know, you don't wantto deal with that.
It's awkward, if nothing else.
So yeah, you you first want tokind of talk about with your
partner how long you want towear the cage.
How often do you want them to bethe one to take you out?
(17:26):
Do you want to be the one totake yourself out?
Do you know, do you want to askpermission to come out of the
cage?
These are all different thingsto kind of consider for some
people.
And you are able, just for thelisteners that don't know, you
are able to actually urinatewhile still wearing it for most
of them.
So it can be something that yougenuinely have on for long
periods of time.
(17:46):
A lot of people will maybe takeit off for cleaning, although
you can get like q-tips and suchand like clean even with it on
as well.
SPEAKER_00 (17:55):
And so when you start very first time, would you
recommend how long would yourecommend wearing it the first
time?
SPEAKER_01 (18:03):
Yeah.
So it's gonna really depend onthe material.
There are, and the reason beingis some material can feel a
little heavier than others.
And so it's gonna take gettingused to.
The metal ones in particulartake some getting used to.
The plastic ones can be a littlelighter, so you may be able to
kind of jump right into wearingthose for extended periods of
time, but you want to work up toit.
(18:23):
So if you've never worn a cagebefore, try wearing it for maybe
20, 30 minutes, see how youfeel.
It should never be painful.
So make sure that you're nothurting anywhere, it's not
pinching anywhere.
And you can like kind of workyour way up to wearing it as
long as you want.
For some people, that looks likemaybe the first week you're just
wearing it during the day andthen taking it off at night.
(18:45):
Some people jump right in andthey just completely lock up.
But I don't really recommendthat because again, you don't
know what it's gonna feel like.
And if you're uncomfortable thewhole time, it's just not a fun
experience.
Right, right.
SPEAKER_00 (18:59):
And there are silicone cages as well.
Absolutely, yeah.
Start with a soft cage and workyour way up.
By the way, for all mylisteners, along with this
video, I'm gonna be sending outa full guide for how to measure
the different types of cages areout there.
I've got all of that stuff puttogether.
You can also scroll down to thenotes in this episode, and
(19:22):
you're gonna see links to those,those informational pieces.
So if you're like, I'm ready togo, you can have that
information.
SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
That's good.
SPEAKER_00 (19:31):
That information before you start.
And yeah, oftentimes people willjust buy a cage and then it
doesn't fit, and it's a it canbe a money sinkhole.
I want to get back to talkingabout how this can improve a
man's skill set in bed.
(19:51):
And I kind of want to take itbeyond just the skill set,
right?
This is a mental reframe fromthe conditioning most men have
received from the time they werevery young, right?
What sex is supposed to looklike, how they're supposed to be
in bed.
When you're in a cage, I wouldargue that almost all of that's
taken away, right?
(20:12):
You're no longer leading,guiding everything, setting the
obviously this is allconsensual, and you and your
partner have, you know, createdyour contract.
So you are in control.
However, once you've done it'ssort of on her terms, assuming
you have a key holder.
Let's talk about the mentalreframe.
(20:33):
Let's start there and then we'llget into specific skill sets.
How can practicing malechastity, especially if you're
like, let's do it for the monthof October and see what's what
happens, how can it change theway a man not only looks at what
sex can be and how they can bein sex, but also how they look
(20:53):
at their partner?
How can it reframe how they lookat their partner?
SPEAKER_01 (20:57):
Yeah, so there is a priority that's almost put on
your partner a lot of ways,maybe even a level of ownership,
even if you're not practicingkink and it's not like a kink
relationship, they are your keyholders, you know, the keeper of
the keys.
They are the ones thatessentially, in a lot of ways,
own your pleasure.
And that's not a bad thing.
That can actually be anincredibly empowering position
(21:20):
to be in, despite what, youknow, how the optics look.
Even in kink, submissives aresome of the, you know, the
people actually in control.
And so it's the same here.
You are the one that kind ofdictates what happens to your
cock, how long you're wearingthe cage.
It's all up to like your comfortand your body, it's ultimately
(21:41):
your body.
So you have more control thanyou think while still
relinquishing that control interms of how to expand it and
like how it translates to holdon, let me take a step back.
So, your question, the otherpart of your question was how it
can essentially expand things.
(22:03):
Right, reframe like how you'relooking at sex.
So, yes, you your priorityshifts.
Your priority shifts from yourown orgasm, which can for a lot
of men, you know, cloud theirjudgment when it comes to even
caring about their partner'spleasure or even their partner's
pleasure is kind of seen as likethe it's nice if she orgasms,
(22:23):
but like it's also normalized ifshe doesn't.
Obviously, there are somerelationships that that are not
quite as one-sided like that,but it does happen.
And having to kind ofre-prioritize your needs and
reprioritize what sex looks likecan really be, I would say,
(22:43):
empowering for the couple aswell.
SPEAKER_00 (22:47):
Absolutely.
I also think that becauseoftentimes they lock on to the
idea of reaching the orgasm,they end because society has
said, well, if women don't haveorgasm, that can be really
normal.
They're really hard to giveorgasms to, and some of them
don't orgasm that whole false,false narrative.
(23:10):
Many men miss out on theenergetic rush, the sexual rush
that you get from really givingand controlling your partner's
pleasure.
I love to top, I love to top insuch a way that I'm not even
being touched sexually because Iget this full-body, energetic,
(23:32):
emotional rush and hot off ofbeing in control of and giving
my partner pleasure.
And for a lot of men, A, there'snot pleasure education there.
So they don't know how to get awoman off, right?
They don't know where all thesweet spots are, how to listen
(23:55):
to her body and and bring her toan orgasmic state or erotic
state, and then they go in withher penis and thrust away and
come, and they're like, I didit.
unknown (24:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:09):
Even though only 20% of people actually come that
way.
SPEAKER_00 (24:14):
Yeah.
I'm not one of them.
I'm not one of them.
So I don't know what I don'tknow what that's like.
I'm sure it's lovely.
But but it gives you theopportunity to build that skill
and experience that rush, right?
Because at least, and I knowthat it depends on the
relationship.
And I'm not, I'd love to getinto what your relationship
(24:35):
looks like a little bit more.
Again, my friend Dominatrix Lucycame on and really has shared a
lot about her dynamic, which didinclude, you know, giving her
husband chores and things to dofor her to earn release from the
cage and ways to pleasure herthat would get, you know, there
(24:55):
would be a reward system andstuff like that.
She really has outlined that.
Again, I will share thoseepisodes linked below and in
e-newsletters.
But it helped him learn what sheneeded and wanted and what would
fulfill her from a householdlogistical place.
He did dishes to get his treatsor to, you know, oral sex to
(25:21):
whatever it was that she neededto be fulfilled.
And so he really knows how toplease her and pleasure her in
all of those ways now.
And she considers him, ofcourse, an incredible lover.
But so those are some ways inwhich I think in that dynamic it
helped.
Do you have other thoughts onhow that works or different ways
(25:44):
in which that can look?
SPEAKER_01 (25:46):
Yeah.
So one thing it can also do, andmy partner says this all the
time about like his experiencewith the chastity cage, is it
makes him feel secure.
Think of it like a like a warmhug in a lot of ways.
So there's that aspect of it toothat we don't expect.
So it's not always taking awayfrom.
It can definitely be like agiving to.
And in terms of like givingpleasure with the cage, like he
(26:11):
said, you derive this emotional,physical, orgasmic fulfillment,
even without, you know, havingan orgasm.
It's from giving that pleasure.
That's absolutely somethinghere.
You can even add in kink if youwanted to.
And even as the cage holder, thecage wearer, rather, you can be
the one to give your partner anorgasm and still own that orgasm
(26:34):
and be the one that gave it tothem.
You can, oh, there's so much youcan do.
I'm like, how do I decide?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (26:41):
I hadn't thought about this, but I guess you
could even top with a cage on.
SPEAKER_01 (26:46):
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
You can top with a cage, you canget bratty with it, steal your
keys back.
There's a lot you can do there.
SPEAKER_00 (26:57):
I hadn't thought about that perspective at all.
That would be kind of hot to betopped by someone who is wearing
a cage.
Yeah, I get into that.
You can get really creative andthink outside of the box.
And the other thing that I'veheard is that also it can bring
back the spark to a relationshipby wearing it throughout the day
(27:17):
when you're apart, that just itbeing worn and rubbing well
creates sort of like, you know,you'll become aware and aroused
by it and think about yourpartner knowing they've got the
key to it and create that sparkand fire throughout the day if
you're wearing it for a wholeday.
Some people only wear it for acouple of hours at first, but
and then work up to a full dayand then can work up to longer
(27:40):
than that.
But it can be a way to create aconnection during the day when
you're typically apart.
SPEAKER_01 (27:46):
Yeah, absolutely.
It really would kind of remindyou of the oath you've taken, so
to speak, the connection thatyou have, the ownership, lots of
things.
SPEAKER_00 (27:57):
And I know that a lot of men come to me for advice
within their relationship,wanting to reignite the spark,
wanting to figure out how do Iget my partner in the mood for
intimacy when I get home.
It seems like I come home and I,you know, whatever will rubber
back.
But she's this is an a way toplay throughout the day.
(28:19):
And I always suggest like myfeeling about sex and sensuality
and connection is something thatshould be woven in throughout
the day in your relationshipevery day.
It's not like you disconnect, gothrough your day, come home, you
flip a switch, and it's sextime.
That's that's gonna be reallychallenging, especially for
(28:40):
women who tend to, you know, nothave that instant turn on, need
to be warmed up.
You know, they're moreresponsive.
So adding chastity into aconnection is just one way that
you can tie it into your dailyinteractions and stay connected.
SPEAKER_01 (29:00):
Absolutely.
And it forces you again to thinkoutside the box so you don't
fall into those ruts of justdrink just going into PIB sex.
You have to get creative.
And that definitely brings thespark back.
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
What would you say to someone who still after this
conversation is convinced thatit's emasculating to men, that a
mass a truly masculine manwouldn't take part in an
activity like this?
SPEAKER_01 (29:27):
I would ask them, is eating pussy ultimately
submissive?
And they would say, well, no,look what I'm doing for my
partner.
She is loving it.
Well, at the same time, it couldbe a submissive act, it could
not be.
The act itself is neutral.
The energy you bring to it isultimately what tips the scales
one way or the other.
And same it for chastity.
(29:48):
I would say just give it a try.
You never know how you're gonnaactually feel once you have it
on.
If you hate it, you don't haveto wear it again.
If you love it, then there'sthere's a whole new world has
been opened.
To you for exploration.
SPEAKER_00 (30:02):
I love that.
Would you share a little bitabout your relationship?
I know that this is a part ofyour dynamic with a partner.
Your partner is male, obviously,husband, partner, husband, yeah.
Could you share with malelisteners your dynamic, how it
started, so that they get abetter idea of how this type of
(30:24):
thing begins and how it can lookin a relationship?
SPEAKER_01 (30:29):
Of course.
So he actually was the one toapproach me about male chastity.
I'd never even heard of it atthe time.
I didn't, I mean, I knew itconceptually, but I didn't know
it was something people did inmodern day.
I genuinely thought it was likea medieval thing and that was
that.
I didn't realize that there aresome people who would not only
wear it, but be willing to wearit and be the ones to be the one
(30:49):
starting that conversation.
So he approached me.
He, you know, asked permission.
He's my submissive, by the way,as well.
We do practice a cakerelationship and he asked me for
permission to buy a cage.
And I said, Of course, I want tomake sure this is safe.
I want to make sure thatmedically nothing is wrong with
it and it's gonna fit well.
And so I was part of the processfor helping him shop for the
(31:11):
cage.
And I think that really helpedbecause I definitely had some
anxieties about it.
I was like, I don't want to lockyour cock up.
Like there, that's my toygetting locked up.
That's not fair.
But having myself be part of theprocess of actually choosing it
allowed me to have a little bitof that control that.
(31:38):
I remember because I reallyloved it.
And we started off by, and thisis many years ago now, we
started off by him just wearingit during the day.
And he was like a cat-to-cat nipwith me.
Like he constantly wanted totouch me.
He constantly was just like, CanI please go down on you?
I just want to, I just want topleasure you.
(31:58):
I'm like lusting for it.
And it was great.
And then we started to explorewearing it past Locktober and
actually going into more of anindefinite wear of the chastity
cage.
He takes it up for cleaning, butbut beyond that, now he wears a
cobra cage.
So it's a little more flexible.
It's more of that bar design,and it's made from this
(32:21):
waterproof 3D printed material.
And it's a lot, I don't want tosay safer than the Holy Trainer,
but the Holy Trainer was a hardplastic.
So this one's a lot lighter,it's a lot more comfortable for
like daily wear.
So we switched to that cage.
And since then, I mean he's beenin chastity indefinitely for
years now.
SPEAKER_00 (32:41):
And you hold a key.
I do.
Do you put it on?
The the key?
SPEAKER_01 (32:48):
The cage out and take it off.
So he actually puts it onbecause it's a little
complicated to get the cockthrough and everything, and then
he holds it and waits for me,and then I put the lock in.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
Oh well, that's hot.
And and it's around the clock,except for when you're yes.
When you're playing with it foryour own pleasure.
Yeah.
It's interesting to me that yourfirst reaction was that you felt
like it almost took control awayfrom you.
SPEAKER_01 (33:20):
Yeah.
Because it was, it felt like alike a third party was suddenly
coming in and like changing animportant aspect of our
relationship.
It felt like something that Inot only didn't understand, is I
didn't understand why you wouldwant to do it.
At that point, I hadn't done alot of research, so I didn't
really know.
Didn't understand.
(33:41):
I uh felt like it was a thirdelement, kind of controlling an
aspect of a relationship that Ididn't necessarily want
initially.
And so yeah, I felt like I hadan aspect of control taken away.
SPEAKER_00 (33:54):
I would like to point out that this is a great
example of also men are askingabout this.
Men that if you saw them walkingaround on the street, they're
very masculine presenting.
I I think the whole, likefrankly, I think it's silly that
we have all this, like we baseso much on the idea of what
(34:16):
masculine manly men, like youknow, wood shopping salt on
earth masculine men where youknow those kind of men are
locking up their cock.
They see it as exciting,arousing, they're powerful, and
and people who are powerfulpeople oftentimes want to
(34:39):
experience having handing thatover to someone for for a bit,
especially a feminine being.
Because a lot of our power is inour beauty and our sexual
energy, and our sexual energy'sability to run the show, right?
SPEAKER_01 (34:59):
Absolutely.
In my experience, I've seen moreof the like masculine presenting
man be into chastity than theother way around.
And that like initially reallysurprised me, but but now it
doesn't.
Like you said, people in powerwant to relinquish that power
sometimes.
SPEAKER_00 (35:16):
It's exhausting, it's exhausting, and it allows
you to be aroused because youknow, oftentimes the stress of
being in power is a libidokiller because stress is a dick
shrinker, it's a glit shrinker,it is a libido killer.
So when that stress is liftedfrom you, when someone takes it
(35:39):
from you, it can allow, youknow, the fire to to grow.
Yeah, and something that peoplehave a hard time understanding.
SPEAKER_01 (35:51):
When you have that responsibility and that stress
and everything kind of takenaway from you, the only thing
left is pleasure.
So at that point, you get toexplore it in a way that's kind
of just untethered by anythingelse, and just pleasure for the
sake of pleasure.
You don't have you don't have anend goal necessarily.
And so that makes it one of themost liberating experiences you
(36:12):
can have.
SPEAKER_00 (36:14):
If you're if you're not buying into it, imagine
this.
Imagine having no choice but totouch and explore your woman's
body for hours.
Like that's all you get to dobecause your cock's locked away.
You get to touch her everywhere,you get to taste her, you get to
(36:38):
do all of the things you've beenthinking about doing, but she's
been like, nah.
Because she doesn't want to justhave you crawl on top of her,
pound away, and be done.
Yeah.
So it come on.
I mean, like, who doesn't wantto get to do that with a woman?
Yeah, absolutely.
Like they do that.
(36:58):
So again, if you're wonderinghow does male chastity improve a
man in bed, I think we've listedit's gonna help you grow your
skill set.
You're gonna get an opportunityto really learn how to pleasure
a woman.
This is not something you wereever taught it is not your
fault.
It's not your fault that youdon't know how to give a woman
(37:20):
an orgasm because nobody'steaching that in our mainstream
schools, education systems.
You have to like seek out thatkind of knowledge.
And then once you're in arelationship with a woman,
society tells you your only jobis to get her pregnant, to get
your dick in her, to come to getthat's what we're taught, right?
SPEAKER_01 (37:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (37:42):
Chastity is a great opportunity for you to learn how
to really be a good lover and togive her pleasure and to receive
pleasure through it, right?
Because she's also one, youknow, one way we didn't discuss
is when using your cock as thesole organ of pleasure on your
body is taken away.
(38:03):
Other part areas of your bodyare going to start lighting up.
You're going to start payingattention to the other areas of
your body that get aroused andbring you pleasure.
So your own pleasure is going tobecome expansive.
SPEAKER_01 (38:17):
Yes, definitely.
One exercise I always recommendfor couples, whether you do
chastity or not, is pleasuremapping together, figuring out
the erogenous and pleasure zonesof your body.
And it's just an exploratory,fun activity to do together.
Pay attention to where all thetingles feel.
Pay attention to just what feelsgood.
(38:37):
What do you want them to do?
And that can really go hand inhand with chastity because, like
you said, it kind of enhancesthose other sensations.
SPEAKER_00 (38:47):
Great.
And people are off.
I know that I am still finding,yeah, I'm 51 years old and I am
still finding places on my body.
I'm like, oh, I didn't know thatwould turn me on.
unknown (38:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (38:57):
You know, and and that's all over my body, from my
head down to my toes.
I think it's important to startseeing what areas of your body
are erogenous or turn you off.
SPEAKER_01 (39:09):
Yeah.
It's a lifelong journey,pleasure.
It's it's not a one and done.
It's not a okay, I've figuredthem all out now.
This is how I'm going to comefrom here on out.
No, it's an ever-expansive, it'sit's affected by so many aspects
of our life.
It kind of grows with us.
unknown (39:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (39:27):
And when we take our genitals out of the equation and
start exploring other areas,then we find new routes to
pleasure and fulfillment.
SPEAKER_01 (39:38):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (39:39):
I think we've sold it.
What do you think?
Have we convinced them?
I think so too.
I love it.
So for my listeners at thispoint in the conversation, let's
say we've convinced one or two,or even encouraged someone who's
out there who's afraid to asktheir partner to go ahead and
make the leap this October andsay, hey, I've been interested
(40:02):
in chastity.
I don't know if you know, but itis October.
Will you try this thing with me?
Can you give them like some nextsteps?
You've listened to the podcast.
What can they do right now togive it a try this month?
SPEAKER_01 (40:17):
So ta again, talk to your partner, have them listen
to this episode as well.
Listen to it together.
So have the conversation as tokind of what experience you want
to have, be very intentionalabout it.
Then go cage shopping together.
Yeah.
And one thing I also wanted tosay is you don't have to, I
mean, it's it's great to have acage, super fun.
(40:39):
You also don't have to have one.
You can just have sort of like apsychological chastity.
And especially if like cost is abarrier to you, or you just
you're not ready to take thatplunge and actually wear a
device.
SPEAKER_00 (40:51):
My last question to you is not for the male
listeners here, it's for thefemale listeners here.
Or if you're a male listener,this is the section that you
hand over to your femalepartner.
What would you say to the womanin this dynamic who it's being
brought to her?
And she's like, You want to dowhat?
(41:12):
What would you say to her aboutit?
What would you say to her if herinstant reaction is like, My man
wants to be in a cage?
Give some words of advice to thewomen who may be hearing about
this right now.
SPEAKER_01 (41:27):
Yeah.
Why wouldn't you want yourpartner to kind of set aside how
sex has always been for y'alland focus on you?
Focus on your pleasure andgetting to know your body and
allowing you to be the one thatkind of guides the conversation
and guides where your sex lifegrows and how it grows.
(41:48):
Why wouldn't you want to dothat?
That to me is so fun.
And you don't have to turn intothe leather-waring dominatrix
either.
You can just be yourself inthis, but your your pri I would
say your priorities for a monthhave shifted.
Just give it a try for a month.
That's it.
Or just a week, even a day.
You don't have to like commit toa full month either.
SPEAKER_00 (42:10):
Imagine learning new things about your own pleasure.
Imagine having more orgasms.
Imagine being able to assignkitchen duty to him so that
yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (42:23):
It's no longer about like, you know, it's no longer
about like how do we how do wework hard to get you an orgasm
in a not fun way?
Now it's like it's a fun way.
We're we're working hard, butwe're like exploring.
It's an exploratory, fun,experiential phase.
SPEAKER_00 (42:41):
Yes.
So, folks, I am going to besending a full guide to male
chastity.
I am going to be sending acalendar of activities you can
do throughout the month as well.
So that you have some ideas ofhow you can play throughout the
month.
Now you know how it's going tomake you better in bed or more
(43:03):
knowledgeable in bed or capableof receiving more pleasure in
bed.
Because I know oftentimes forwomen it's hard for us to just
lay back and receive.
You're going to get practicethat you may find you never want
to stop doing that.
So that you can really use thismonth to improve your sex life.
Thank you so much for thisconversation.
Can you tell my listeners wherethey can find you if they want
(43:25):
to learn more about you or learnlearn more from you?
SPEAKER_01 (43:29):
Absolutely.
So you can find me atlilithfox.com and that's Fox of
Two X's.
I'm also on Instagram, Facebook,and Blue Sky at the Lilith Fox.
And yeah, you can just kind ofreach out to me directly.
I make a lot of content andyeah, it'll be fun.
SPEAKER_00 (43:45):
And if you're listening to this and you have
qu questions or comments, youcan scroll down to the comment
section.
If you're on my YouTube channelat TalkSexwithanet, you can drop
your comment, your questionbelow the video.
If you are an audio listener,you can email me at Annette at
talksexwithanet.com.
I will try to get back to you assoon as possible.
If you have a question forLilith, we'll get it to her.
(44:08):
So make sure that you send thoseto me.
Also, if you have a story youwant to share, I love your
stories.
I like to hear your take onthese topics.
So make sure to sound off andlet me know what your thoughts
are.
Thank you again so much forjoining.
SPEAKER_01 (44:24):
Thanks so much for having me.
SPEAKER_00 (44:26):
And to my listeners, I'll see you in the locker room.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Do the sex.
I'm Annette Benedetti, host ofthe podcast formerly known as
Locker Room Talk and Shots.
The show has a new name, TalkSex with Annette.
But at its core, this is stillyour locker room.
It's where we strip away shame,get curious, and speak the
unspoken about sex, kink,dating, pleasure, and desire.
(00:22):
Around here, nothing's offlimits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends, and of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest, and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome to mypodcast where desire meets
(00:43):
disruption and pleasure becomespower.
Now, let's talk about sex.
Cheers.
Right, Low.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is Lochtober 2025, the
orgasm control challenge thatmakes men better lovers.
(01:05):
Locktober gets a bad rap.
People hear Mill Chastity andpicture some poor guy locked in
a cage while his partner laughsat him.
But here's the truth.
Locktober is the orgasm controlchallenge that can actually make
men hotter, sexier, and evenbetter in bed.
Why?
Because when you give up theright to come whenever you want,
(01:27):
you start paying attention inways that most men oftentimes
don't.
You feel more, you crave harder,and when the lock finally comes
off, you're better equipped toblow her mind.
And who better to talk aboutthis than my guest today, Lilith
Fox?
Lilith is a BIPOC, queer,neurodivergent, kinky, and
(01:51):
polyamorous board-certifiedsexologist, a certified
sexuality educator, professionalspeaker, and inclusivity
consultant.
She's a graduate of the KinseyInstitute Human Sexuality
Intensive, trained inpsychological first aid at Johns
Hopkins, and she's been anactive member of the BDSM and
(02:14):
non-monogamy communities forover a decade.
Oh, and she actually practicesLochtober with her partner.
So today we are breaking downwhat Lochtober really is, why
it's way more than no nutNovember, which we will be
talking about, folks.
(02:35):
If you haven't listened to thoseepisodes in the past, I'm going
to be touching on them in thefuture.
And how orgasm control mightjust be the kink that rewires
masculinity and makes you abetter lover.
But before we dive in, I want toremind you that I'm over on
OnlyFans, and that's where I amsharing my sex and intimacy
how-tos and demonstrations,along with audio guided
(02:56):
self-pleasure meditations andone-off sex and intimacy
coaching QA's.
That's right.
If you're not ready to dedicateyourself to a full-fledged
coaching service, I'll give youa little taste of what I have to
offer and I'll answer some ofthose questions you guys keep
sending me in the mail.
You can find me there by myhandle at Talk Sex within it.
(03:18):
You can find me over on Substackdoing a whole lot of the same,
minus the coaching and the demosat TalkSexWithanet.
Of course, you can scroll downto the notes below this episode,
and you're going to find linksto everywhere you want to find
me.
I cannot wait to see you there.
But now I would like to giveLilith a moment to introduce
herself to you.
SPEAKER_01 (03:38):
Thanks, Annette.
Thanks so much for having me.
So, like you said, I'm a queerBIPOC, neurodivergent,
sports-certified sexologist.
I'm based out of Houston, Texas.
I guess a little bit about me isthat I didn't always find
sexuality to be empowering.
I actually grew up in purityculture from a very, very strict
(03:59):
household where sex was nottalked about.
Periods weren't even talkedabout, let alone sex.
And so I've come full circle.
And it's funny, if you asked meas a child, if you told me as a
child that this is where I'd benow, I would just completely
think you're lying.
So yeah, I find sex to now beone of the most empowering core
parts of the human experience.
SPEAKER_00 (04:20):
It's funny.
So many of my experts came fromsort of the same origin story.
I mean, if you asked me, Icertainly wouldn't have thought
I'd be here today.
But I think that's what makes usextra good at our jobs.
We know the journey and howempowering and important it is
to our whole health and and thesociety and society's whole
(04:41):
health, right?
I'm excited to have thisconversation.
Guys, I don't need to tell youwhy to stay to the end.
I know you know why you're gonnastay to the end, but I'm gonna
tell you anyways.
By the end of this episode,you're gonna have a little go
back.
If you're curious and you wantto give October a try, it's not
too late.
We're a weekend, it's okay.
You can give it, you can trystart, start today, and you're
(05:03):
gonna know how to do that, or atleast feel better equipped, less
afraid, and maybe even inspiredto do it.
So stay to the end.
I'm excited about thisconversation.
This is one of my favorite timesof year.
So let's do it.
Let's talk about male chastityand how it's gonna make the men
of the world better lovers.
Cheers.
(05:24):
Cheers.
So though I have had manypodcasts that I am sending out,
my past podcast, aboutLocktober, I would love it if
just for somebody who is new tothis channel and to the concept,
if you could just give a quickexplanation about what Locktober
is.
SPEAKER_01 (05:44):
Absolutely.
So during the month of October,people who are identify as male
or have a penis, they will lockthemselves into a chastity cage
or refrain from sex.
And it's specifically kind ofstarted out as something with a
little more of like from theperspective of like a dominatrix
and her sub.
So it was a little more fromlike a degradation perspective,
(06:06):
but it's expanded to be so muchmore than that.
SPEAKER_00 (06:10):
And can you explain male chastity to my
listenership?
SPEAKER_01 (06:14):
Absolutely.
So male chastity can be a numberof different things.
For some people, it can actuallybe a device that locks onto the
penis and/or balls and itprevents erection.
It certainly prevents orgasm aswell.
SPEAKER_00 (06:30):
Now, a lot of people, especially heteromative
people, when they hear malechastity, when they hear about a
penis being locked in a cage,and especially if the key holder
is a woman, instantly there area lot of negative connotations.
(06:53):
I and and especially when itcomes to the male ego, the idea
of withholding orgasm or havingit withheld can be negative.
Can you talk about why it feelsso threatening to men and why in
actual this practice can beempowering to everybody
involved?
SPEAKER_01 (07:14):
Yeah, so men are conditioned to kind of be the
ones in charge during sex.
They're conditioned to kind ofbe the dominant, the one on top,
the the one that gives sex asopposed to actually receiving
even their own pleasure.
And whereas women are supposedto be the submissive ones who
receive during sex are the ones,you know, getting fucked, so to
(07:34):
speak.
And that can, I mean, that justkind of is the total opposite of
Locktober and chastity.
Chastity was always somethinghistorically reserved for women.
You always wanted to stay chastfor your marriage, stay chast
for your future husband one day,or he won't find value in you.
So there's a lot there that isassociated with women,
(07:57):
associated with submission, andgoes kind of against how most
men were conditioned.
And the way we can kind of flipthat on its head is looking at
it as an opportunity to be muchmore intentional when it comes
to sex and when it comes topleasure, both our own and our
partners, it's gonna have a lotof benefits.
(08:17):
Which I'm sure we'll get intomore as well.
SPEAKER_00 (08:20):
Right.
So I said at the beginning ofthis that male chastity and
practicing it can make menbetter lovers.
Do you agree with me?
And if so, can you quickly justname some reasons or ways in
which that is true?
SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
I do agree with you.
And the reason being is there'sso much that you can focus on
when you don't have just theclassic, you know, PIV sex on
the table.
You have to get more creative,both again, with your own
pleasure and your partner'spleasure.
It kind of, I don't want to sayforces you, but I would say
encourages you to focus on yourpartner's pleasure, which is
(09:01):
something that for a lot ofwomen, they don't receive in
bed.
And you not only have to kind offocus on the pleasure, you start
to kind of value sex a littlemore, I would say, because you
kind of, you know, you know whatyou're missing.
So that anticipation is there,that like heightened intimacy is
there.
You have to start buildingpatience and self-control
(09:24):
because for once, it's not aboutyou.
It is about your partner.
And you so you you focus onthem, you focus on their
pleasure.
My partner describes it as theirpleasure suddenly is on the back
seat, but it's so much moreheightened, kind of like you
know, a kid that isn't allowedto have candy.
You're gonna want that candymore.
There is an emotional andpsychological shift.
(09:46):
There's definitely avulnerability there that a lot
of men in particular don't getto experience because they're
conditioned to not haveemotions, to not experience
vulnerability in any capacity.
It's associated with weakness.
But you have to be vulnerablewhen you're in chastity,
especially when someone else isyour key holder.
And that kind of allows you, Iguess, the canvas to sort of
(10:07):
paint on with this eroticrepertoire.
You now get to explore more.
You get to try things that youdidn't try before because it's a
whole lot easier to just resortto, you know, known patterns.
So I would say I completelyagree with you that it does make
men better lovers.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
Let's talk about this erotic canvas.
You let's say a couple.
I'm gonna you can lock your owncock into a cage, by the way.
You can do all of this on yourown.
But I want to talk in sort ofthe context of being partnered
and the canvas that then exists.
(10:45):
People are like, oh, well, youlock up his penis, and then what
do we, what do we do, right?
What does it look like?
Why would one want to lock uptheir partner's penis?
What happens after?
What's what's the game planthen?
SPEAKER_01 (11:01):
Yeah, the game plan is to expand your definition of
sex.
So many people just see sex asPIB sex, penis in vagina.
They're not seeing it asanything else, whereas like oral
sex can be just as satisfying,can be just as empowering and
fulfilling.
And yet we often see that as theprecursor to actual sex in
(11:22):
quotes.
So now we get to focus on makingoral the experience.
We get to focus on maybe kissingand like, you know, caressing
and touching, just sharing spacetogether.
You can have your partner showyou how they pleasure
themselves.
It's often something not donebecause we just fall into old
patterns and old methods ofbehavior where it's a whole lot
(11:44):
easier to just do what you know.
And a lot of couples fall intoruts that way as well.
SPEAKER_00 (11:50):
So as far as like the heart of the fingering and
using your hands.
Like as a queer woman myself, Imean, I have partners that don't
have penises.
And you know, we have incrediblesex, and our hands are
instruments that are used.
And can do a lot more than apenis can.
SPEAKER_01 (12:13):
Yeah, absolutely.
You have hands, you have toys,you can bring vibration into the
fun.
There's a lot there that just alot of people haven't explored
because it's a whole lot easieragain to just do what you know.
But this kind of for being inchastity kind of forces you to
explore a little more.
SPEAKER_00 (12:31):
And also the end of sex is no longer marked by the
male orgasm.
Yes.
Right?
SPEAKER_01 (12:37):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
The end of sex happens whenyou're when you're both ready
for it to be over.
It's a much more collaborativeexperience as opposed to just
kind of the one and done.
It's done at this point becauseof the male orgasm.
SPEAKER_00 (12:50):
Yeah, you're gonna have those like two-hour
sessions or three-hour sessionsif you want to, because you
know, because his penis is notrunning the show.
I mean, not that it I alwaysthink you can keep having sex
after orgasm, anyways, but Ithink in our system we tend to
mark the end of sex by the endof the initial climax, which is
(13:15):
too bad.
But we do.
SPEAKER_01 (13:18):
And the other side of it too is if you are a person
who struggles with things likeerectile dysfunction or just
performance anxiety, chastity isa really great way to kind of
just take that off the table andagain focus on pleasure.
For a lot of people who aresurvivors of sexual assault, it
can be really difficult toconnect back to pleasure.
And that can be a reallypowerful way of reclaiming your
(13:41):
own sexuality, even if somebodyelse is your key holder, kind of
reclaiming that power and againredefining pleasure for
yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (13:50):
I hadn't even thought about that.
As especially if someone who'sstruggling with ED that's
charged by anxiety and sort ofthe mental wiring around sex,
that could be incrediblyempowering because the penis is
taken off the table.
And also, can we just talk abouthow arousing it can be for a
(14:13):
woman to see a cock in a cage?
Like, I don't know, for me,maybe that's lingerie.
That's that's lingerie for me.
Like, I can just look at thatand then then you get the
pleasure from other parts of thebody looking at that, the the
penis in the cage, and thenhaving someone with it on
pleasure you in other waysthat's hot.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
So hot, absolutely, and there's so many different
styles of cages, too.
So you can find one that worksfor you.
Some people really love like themore cagey looking one where
it's kind of the cot kind ofpeeks out from the holes, others
like a more fuller cage wherethe cot goes completely into
it's kind of completely encased.
So there's a lot of differentstyles as well.
Just like you said, lingerie.
(14:56):
That's a really great analogyfor it.
SPEAKER_00 (14:58):
100%.
I like I like the bars.
I like to see the bars over it.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (15:02):
I do too.
And it's really fun when youtease your partner and they
actually do get the erection andit kind of pokes out a little
bit from the bars.
SPEAKER_00 (15:11):
Yep.
Yep.
All right.
We're on the same page.
We're on the same page.
And and I think also that ifthere's someone who is
struggling with ED, that issomething that could allow them
to start to feel full and feelthe erection come on because it
doesn't, you know, there's notthe stress around it.
You can or you can't.
It doesn't matter.
The fun is going to happenanyway.
(15:32):
I want to back up a little bitfor again for my listeners who
aren't as familiar withespecially October, and they're
like, oh, well, when does itwhen does the penis go in the
cage?
When does it come out?
Like, what do you do throughoutthe day?
Do you wear the cage throughoutthe day?
Can we get into some specificsso they get a better picture of
what it can look like on aday-to-day basis?
(15:55):
And then, of course, in October,what it can look like during the
month of October.
SPEAKER_01 (16:01):
Yeah.
So you want to have a cage thatfits well.
That is the biggest prioritybecause it's a safety issue.
There's an inner ring that youactually have to measure.
A lot of websites and companiesthat sell cages will have a
guide on like how to measure andlike how, especially with their
product.
So you want to prioritizegetting a good fit.
Don't be afraid to contact thecompanies directly too, because
(16:24):
they can actually help out withthe fit as well.
So that should be your biggestpriority, making sure you get
one that fits.
Then you kind of decide, kind ofnegotiate with your partner how
you want it to look wearing it.
Do you want to wear itindefinitely for the whole
month?
Do you just want to have it onat night?
Do you just want to have it onduring the day?
(16:44):
Are you going to, you know, takeit out once a week?
How do you want to do that?
It's there's no health riskswith like keeping it in,
provided it's a well-fittingcage.
There's no health risks withwearing it indefinitely.
That said, you always want to,like if you're going to a
doctor's appointment orsomething, you definitely want
to be out of your cage to allowfor your doctor to, you know,
fully examine your physicalhealth.
(17:04):
Or, you know, I don't there aresome cages that are made with
materials that are safe for TSA,but I just don't personally feel
comfortable flying in a in acage.
Just, you know, you don't wantto deal with that.
It's awkward, if nothing else.
So yeah, you you first want tokind of talk about with your
partner how long you want towear the cage.
How often do you want them to bethe one to take you out?
(17:26):
Do you want to be the one totake yourself out?
Do you know, do you want to askpermission to come out of the
cage?
These are all different thingsto kind of consider for some
people.
And you are able, just for thelisteners that don't know, you
are able to actually urinatewhile still wearing it for most
of them.
So it can be something that yougenuinely have on for long
periods of time.
(17:46):
A lot of people will maybe takeit off for cleaning, although
you can get like q-tips and suchand like clean even with it on
as well.
SPEAKER_00 (17:55):
And so when you start very first time, would you
recommend how long would yourecommend wearing it the first
time?
SPEAKER_01 (18:03):
Yeah.
So it's gonna really depend onthe material.
There are, and the reason beingis some material can feel a
little heavier than others.
And so it's gonna take gettingused to.
The metal ones in particulartake some getting used to.
The plastic ones can be a littlelighter, so you may be able to
kind of jump right into wearingthose for extended periods of
time, but you want to work up toit.
(18:23):
So if you've never worn a cagebefore, try wearing it for maybe
20, 30 minutes, see how youfeel.
It should never be painful.
So make sure that you're nothurting anywhere, it's not
pinching anywhere.
And you can like kind of workyour way up to wearing it as
long as you want.
For some people, that looks likemaybe the first week you're just
wearing it during the day andthen taking it off at night.
(18:45):
Some people jump right in andthey just completely lock up.
But I don't really recommendthat because again, you don't
know what it's gonna feel like.
And if you're uncomfortable thewhole time, it's just not a fun
experience.
Right, right.
SPEAKER_00 (18:59):
And there are silicone cages as well.
Absolutely, yeah.
Start with a soft cage and workyour way up.
By the way, for all mylisteners, along with this
video, I'm gonna be sending outa full guide for how to measure
the different types of cages areout there.
I've got all of that stuff puttogether.
You can also scroll down to thenotes in this episode, and
(19:22):
you're gonna see links to those,those informational pieces.
So if you're like, I'm ready togo, you can have that
information.
SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
That's good.
SPEAKER_00 (19:31):
That information before you start.
And yeah, oftentimes people willjust buy a cage and then it
doesn't fit, and it's a it canbe a money sinkhole.
I want to get back to talkingabout how this can improve a
man's skill set in bed.
(19:51):
And I kind of want to take itbeyond just the skill set,
right?
This is a mental reframe fromthe conditioning most men have
received from the time they werevery young, right?
What sex is supposed to looklike, how they're supposed to be
in bed.
When you're in a cage, I wouldargue that almost all of that's
taken away, right?
(20:12):
You're no longer leading,guiding everything, setting the
obviously this is allconsensual, and you and your
partner have, you know, createdyour contract.
So you are in control.
However, once you've done it'ssort of on her terms, assuming
you have a key holder.
Let's talk about the mentalreframe.
(20:33):
Let's start there and then we'llget into specific skill sets.
How can practicing malechastity, especially if you're
like, let's do it for the monthof October and see what's what
happens, how can it change theway a man not only looks at what
sex can be and how they can bein sex, but also how they look
(20:53):
at their partner?
How can it reframe how they lookat their partner?
SPEAKER_01 (20:57):
Yeah, so there is a priority that's almost put on
your partner a lot of ways,maybe even a level of ownership,
even if you're not practicingkink and it's not like a kink
relationship, they are your keyholders, you know, the keeper of
the keys.
They are the ones thatessentially, in a lot of ways,
own your pleasure.
And that's not a bad thing.
That can actually be anincredibly empowering position
(21:20):
to be in, despite what, youknow, how the optics look.
Even in kink, submissives aresome of the, you know, the
people actually in control.
And so it's the same here.
You are the one that kind ofdictates what happens to your
cock, how long you're wearingthe cage.
It's all up to like your comfortand your body, it's ultimately
(21:41):
your body.
So you have more control thanyou think while still
relinquishing that control interms of how to expand it and
like how it translates to holdon, let me take a step back.
So, your question, the otherpart of your question was how it
can essentially expand things.
(22:03):
Right, reframe like how you'relooking at sex.
So, yes, you your priorityshifts.
Your priority shifts from yourown orgasm, which can for a lot
of men, you know, cloud theirjudgment when it comes to even
caring about their partner'spleasure or even their partner's
pleasure is kind of seen as likethe it's nice if she orgasms,
(22:23):
but like it's also normalized ifshe doesn't.
Obviously, there are somerelationships that that are not
quite as one-sided like that,but it does happen.
And having to kind ofre-prioritize your needs and
reprioritize what sex looks likecan really be, I would say,
(22:43):
empowering for the couple aswell.
SPEAKER_00 (22:47):
Absolutely.
I also think that becauseoftentimes they lock on to the
idea of reaching the orgasm,they end because society has
said, well, if women don't haveorgasm, that can be really
normal.
They're really hard to giveorgasms to, and some of them
don't orgasm that whole false,false narrative.
(23:10):
Many men miss out on theenergetic rush, the sexual rush
that you get from really givingand controlling your partner's
pleasure.
I love to top, I love to top insuch a way that I'm not even
being touched sexually because Iget this full-body, energetic,
(23:32):
emotional rush and hot off ofbeing in control of and giving
my partner pleasure.
And for a lot of men, A, there'snot pleasure education there.
So they don't know how to get awoman off, right?
They don't know where all thesweet spots are, how to listen
(23:55):
to her body and and bring her toan orgasmic state or erotic
state, and then they go in withher penis and thrust away and
come, and they're like, I didit.
unknown (24:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:09):
Even though only 20% of people actually come that
way.
SPEAKER_00 (24:14):
Yeah.
I'm not one of them.
I'm not one of them.
So I don't know what I don'tknow what that's like.
I'm sure it's lovely.
But but it gives you theopportunity to build that skill
and experience that rush, right?
Because at least, and I knowthat it depends on the
relationship.
And I'm not, I'd love to getinto what your relationship
(24:35):
looks like a little bit more.
Again, my friend Dominatrix Lucycame on and really has shared a
lot about her dynamic, which didinclude, you know, giving her
husband chores and things to dofor her to earn release from the
cage and ways to pleasure herthat would get, you know, there
(24:55):
would be a reward system andstuff like that.
She really has outlined that.
Again, I will share thoseepisodes linked below and in
e-newsletters.
But it helped him learn what sheneeded and wanted and what would
fulfill her from a householdlogistical place.
He did dishes to get his treatsor to, you know, oral sex to
(25:21):
whatever it was that she neededto be fulfilled.
And so he really knows how toplease her and pleasure her in
all of those ways now.
And she considers him, ofcourse, an incredible lover.
But so those are some ways inwhich I think in that dynamic it
helped.
Do you have other thoughts onhow that works or different ways
(25:44):
in which that can look?
SPEAKER_01 (25:46):
Yeah.
So one thing it can also do, andmy partner says this all the
time about like his experiencewith the chastity cage, is it
makes him feel secure.
Think of it like a like a warmhug in a lot of ways.
So there's that aspect of it toothat we don't expect.
So it's not always taking awayfrom.
It can definitely be like agiving to.
And in terms of like givingpleasure with the cage, like he
(26:11):
said, you derive this emotional,physical, orgasmic fulfillment,
even without, you know, havingan orgasm.
It's from giving that pleasure.
That's absolutely somethinghere.
You can even add in kink if youwanted to.
And even as the cage holder, thecage wearer, rather, you can be
the one to give your partner anorgasm and still own that orgasm
(26:34):
and be the one that gave it tothem.
You can, oh, there's so much youcan do.
I'm like, how do I decide?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (26:41):
I hadn't thought about this, but I guess you
could even top with a cage on.
SPEAKER_01 (26:46):
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
You can top with a cage, you canget bratty with it, steal your
keys back.
There's a lot you can do there.
SPEAKER_00 (26:57):
I hadn't thought about that perspective at all.
That would be kind of hot to betopped by someone who is wearing
a cage.
Yeah, I get into that.
You can get really creative andthink outside of the box.
And the other thing that I'veheard is that also it can bring
back the spark to a relationshipby wearing it throughout the day
(27:17):
when you're apart, that just itbeing worn and rubbing well
creates sort of like, you know,you'll become aware and aroused
by it and think about yourpartner knowing they've got the
key to it and create that sparkand fire throughout the day if
you're wearing it for a wholeday.
Some people only wear it for acouple of hours at first, but
and then work up to a full dayand then can work up to longer
(27:40):
than that.
But it can be a way to create aconnection during the day when
you're typically apart.
SPEAKER_01 (27:46):
Yeah, absolutely.
It really would kind of remindyou of the oath you've taken, so
to speak, the connection thatyou have, the ownership, lots of
things.
SPEAKER_00 (27:57):
And I know that a lot of men come to me for advice
within their relationship,wanting to reignite the spark,
wanting to figure out how do Iget my partner in the mood for
intimacy when I get home.
It seems like I come home and I,you know, whatever will rubber
back.
But she's this is an a way toplay throughout the day.
(28:19):
And I always suggest like myfeeling about sex and sensuality
and connection is something thatshould be woven in throughout
the day in your relationshipevery day.
It's not like you disconnect, gothrough your day, come home, you
flip a switch, and it's sextime.
That's that's gonna be reallychallenging, especially for
(28:40):
women who tend to, you know, nothave that instant turn on, need
to be warmed up.
You know, they're moreresponsive.
So adding chastity into aconnection is just one way that
you can tie it into your dailyinteractions and stay connected.
SPEAKER_01 (29:00):
Absolutely.
And it forces you again to thinkoutside the box so you don't
fall into those ruts of justdrink just going into PIB sex.
You have to get creative.
And that definitely brings thespark back.
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
What would you say to someone who still after this
conversation is convinced thatit's emasculating to men, that a
mass a truly masculine manwouldn't take part in an
activity like this?
SPEAKER_01 (29:27):
I would ask them, is eating pussy ultimately
submissive?
And they would say, well, no,look what I'm doing for my
partner.
She is loving it.
Well, at the same time, it couldbe a submissive act, it could
not be.
The act itself is neutral.
The energy you bring to it isultimately what tips the scales
one way or the other.
And same it for chastity.
(29:48):
I would say just give it a try.
You never know how you're gonnaactually feel once you have it
on.
If you hate it, you don't haveto wear it again.
If you love it, then there'sthere's a whole new world has
been opened.
To you for exploration.
SPEAKER_00 (30:02):
I love that.
Would you share a little bitabout your relationship?
I know that this is a part ofyour dynamic with a partner.
Your partner is male, obviously,husband, partner, husband, yeah.
Could you share with malelisteners your dynamic, how it
started, so that they get abetter idea of how this type of
(30:24):
thing begins and how it can lookin a relationship?
SPEAKER_01 (30:29):
Of course.
So he actually was the one toapproach me about male chastity.
I'd never even heard of it atthe time.
I didn't, I mean, I knew itconceptually, but I didn't know
it was something people did inmodern day.
I genuinely thought it was likea medieval thing and that was
that.
I didn't realize that there aresome people who would not only
wear it, but be willing to wearit and be the ones to be the one
(30:49):
starting that conversation.
So he approached me.
He, you know, asked permission.
He's my submissive, by the way,as well.
We do practice a cakerelationship and he asked me for
permission to buy a cage.
And I said, Of course, I want tomake sure this is safe.
I want to make sure thatmedically nothing is wrong with
it and it's gonna fit well.
And so I was part of the processfor helping him shop for the
(31:11):
cage.
And I think that really helpedbecause I definitely had some
anxieties about it.
I was like, I don't want to lockyour cock up.
Like there, that's my toygetting locked up.
That's not fair.
But having myself be part of theprocess of actually choosing it
allowed me to have a little bitof that control that.
(31:38):
I remember because I reallyloved it.
And we started off by, and thisis many years ago now, we
started off by him just wearingit during the day.
And he was like a cat-to-cat nipwith me.
Like he constantly wanted totouch me.
He constantly was just like, CanI please go down on you?
I just want to, I just want topleasure you.
(31:58):
I'm like lusting for it.
And it was great.
And then we started to explorewearing it past Locktober and
actually going into more of anindefinite wear of the chastity
cage.
He takes it up for cleaning, butbut beyond that, now he wears a
cobra cage.
So it's a little more flexible.
It's more of that bar design,and it's made from this
(32:21):
waterproof 3D printed material.
And it's a lot, I don't want tosay safer than the Holy Trainer,
but the Holy Trainer was a hardplastic.
So this one's a lot lighter,it's a lot more comfortable for
like daily wear.
So we switched to that cage.
And since then, I mean he's beenin chastity indefinitely for
years now.
SPEAKER_00 (32:41):
And you hold a key.
I do.
Do you put it on?
The the key?
SPEAKER_01 (32:48):
The cage out and take it off.
So he actually puts it onbecause it's a little
complicated to get the cockthrough and everything, and then
he holds it and waits for me,and then I put the lock in.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
Oh well, that's hot.
And and it's around the clock,except for when you're yes.
When you're playing with it foryour own pleasure.
Yeah.
It's interesting to me that yourfirst reaction was that you felt
like it almost took control awayfrom you.
SPEAKER_01 (33:20):
Yeah.
Because it was, it felt like alike a third party was suddenly
coming in and like changing animportant aspect of our
relationship.
It felt like something that Inot only didn't understand, is I
didn't understand why you wouldwant to do it.
At that point, I hadn't done alot of research, so I didn't
really know.
Didn't understand.
(33:41):
I uh felt like it was a thirdelement, kind of controlling an
aspect of a relationship that Ididn't necessarily want
initially.
And so yeah, I felt like I hadan aspect of control taken away.
SPEAKER_00 (33:54):
I would like to point out that this is a great
example of also men are askingabout this.
Men that if you saw them walkingaround on the street, they're
very masculine presenting.
I I think the whole, likefrankly, I think it's silly that
we have all this, like we baseso much on the idea of what
(34:16):
masculine manly men, like youknow, wood shopping salt on
earth masculine men where youknow those kind of men are
locking up their cock.
They see it as exciting,arousing, they're powerful, and
and people who are powerfulpeople oftentimes want to
(34:39):
experience having handing thatover to someone for for a bit,
especially a feminine being.
Because a lot of our power is inour beauty and our sexual
energy, and our sexual energy'sability to run the show, right?
SPEAKER_01 (34:59):
Absolutely.
In my experience, I've seen moreof the like masculine presenting
man be into chastity than theother way around.
And that like initially reallysurprised me, but but now it
doesn't.
Like you said, people in powerwant to relinquish that power
sometimes.
SPEAKER_00 (35:16):
It's exhausting, it's exhausting, and it allows
you to be aroused because youknow, oftentimes the stress of
being in power is a libidokiller because stress is a dick
shrinker, it's a glit shrinker,it is a libido killer.
So when that stress is liftedfrom you, when someone takes it
(35:39):
from you, it can allow, youknow, the fire to to grow.
Yeah, and something that peoplehave a hard time understanding.
SPEAKER_01 (35:51):
When you have that responsibility and that stress
and everything kind of takenaway from you, the only thing
left is pleasure.
So at that point, you get toexplore it in a way that's kind
of just untethered by anythingelse, and just pleasure for the
sake of pleasure.
You don't have you don't have anend goal necessarily.
And so that makes it one of themost liberating experiences you
(36:12):
can have.
SPEAKER_00 (36:14):
If you're if you're not buying into it, imagine
this.
Imagine having no choice but totouch and explore your woman's
body for hours.
Like that's all you get to dobecause your cock's locked away.
You get to touch her everywhere,you get to taste her, you get to
(36:38):
do all of the things you've beenthinking about doing, but she's
been like, nah.
Because she doesn't want to justhave you crawl on top of her,
pound away, and be done.
Yeah.
So it come on.
I mean, like, who doesn't wantto get to do that with a woman?
Yeah, absolutely.
Like they do that.
(36:58):
So again, if you're wonderinghow does male chastity improve a
man in bed, I think we've listedit's gonna help you grow your
skill set.
You're gonna get an opportunityto really learn how to pleasure
a woman.
This is not something you wereever taught it is not your
fault.
It's not your fault that youdon't know how to give a woman
(37:20):
an orgasm because nobody'steaching that in our mainstream
schools, education systems.
You have to like seek out thatkind of knowledge.
And then once you're in arelationship with a woman,
society tells you your only jobis to get her pregnant, to get
your dick in her, to come to getthat's what we're taught, right?
SPEAKER_01 (37:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (37:42):
Chastity is a great opportunity for you to learn how
to really be a good lover and togive her pleasure and to receive
pleasure through it, right?
Because she's also one, youknow, one way we didn't discuss
is when using your cock as thesole organ of pleasure on your
body is taken away.
(38:03):
Other part areas of your bodyare going to start lighting up.
You're going to start payingattention to the other areas of
your body that get aroused andbring you pleasure.
So your own pleasure is going tobecome expansive.
SPEAKER_01 (38:17):
Yes, definitely.
One exercise I always recommendfor couples, whether you do
chastity or not, is pleasuremapping together, figuring out
the erogenous and pleasure zonesof your body.
And it's just an exploratory,fun activity to do together.
Pay attention to where all thetingles feel.
Pay attention to just what feelsgood.
(38:37):
What do you want them to do?
And that can really go hand inhand with chastity because, like
you said, it kind of enhancesthose other sensations.
SPEAKER_00 (38:47):
Great.
And people are off.
I know that I am still finding,yeah, I'm 51 years old and I am
still finding places on my body.
I'm like, oh, I didn't know thatwould turn me on.
unknown (38:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (38:57):
You know, and and that's all over my body, from my
head down to my toes.
I think it's important to startseeing what areas of your body
are erogenous or turn you off.
SPEAKER_01 (39:09):
Yeah.
It's a lifelong journey,pleasure.
It's it's not a one and done.
It's not a okay, I've figuredthem all out now.
This is how I'm going to comefrom here on out.
No, it's an ever-expansive, it'sit's affected by so many aspects
of our life.
It kind of grows with us.
unknown (39:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (39:27):
And when we take our genitals out of the equation and
start exploring other areas,then we find new routes to
pleasure and fulfillment.
SPEAKER_01 (39:38):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (39:39):
I think we've sold it.
What do you think?
Have we convinced them?
I think so too.
I love it.
So for my listeners at thispoint in the conversation, let's
say we've convinced one or two,or even encouraged someone who's
out there who's afraid to asktheir partner to go ahead and
make the leap this October andsay, hey, I've been interested
(40:02):
in chastity.
I don't know if you know, but itis October.
Will you try this thing with me?
Can you give them like some nextsteps?
You've listened to the podcast.
What can they do right now togive it a try this month?
SPEAKER_01 (40:17):
So ta again, talk to your partner, have them listen
to this episode as well.
Listen to it together.
So have the conversation as tokind of what experience you want
to have, be very intentionalabout it.
Then go cage shopping together.
Yeah.
And one thing I also wanted tosay is you don't have to, I
mean, it's it's great to have acage, super fun.
(40:39):
You also don't have to have one.
You can just have sort of like apsychological chastity.
And especially if like cost is abarrier to you, or you just
you're not ready to take thatplunge and actually wear a
device.
SPEAKER_00 (40:51):
My last question to you is not for the male
listeners here, it's for thefemale listeners here.
Or if you're a male listener,this is the section that you
hand over to your femalepartner.
What would you say to the womanin this dynamic who it's being
brought to her?
And she's like, You want to dowhat?
(41:12):
What would you say to her aboutit?
What would you say to her if herinstant reaction is like, My man
wants to be in a cage?
Give some words of advice to thewomen who may be hearing about
this right now.
SPEAKER_01 (41:27):
Yeah.
Why wouldn't you want yourpartner to kind of set aside how
sex has always been for y'alland focus on you?
Focus on your pleasure andgetting to know your body and
allowing you to be the one thatkind of guides the conversation
and guides where your sex lifegrows and how it grows.
(41:48):
Why wouldn't you want to dothat?
That to me is so fun.
And you don't have to turn intothe leather-waring dominatrix
either.
You can just be yourself inthis, but your your pri I would
say your priorities for a monthhave shifted.
Just give it a try for a month.
That's it.
Or just a week, even a day.
You don't have to like commit toa full month either.
SPEAKER_00 (42:10):
Imagine learning new things about your own pleasure.
Imagine having more orgasms.
Imagine being able to assignkitchen duty to him so that
yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (42:23):
It's no longer about like, you know, it's no longer
about like how do we how do wework hard to get you an orgasm
in a not fun way?
Now it's like it's a fun way.
We're we're working hard, butwe're like exploring.
It's an exploratory, fun,experiential phase.
SPEAKER_00 (42:41):
Yes.
So, folks, I am going to besending a full guide to male
chastity.
I am going to be sending acalendar of activities you can
do throughout the month as well.
So that you have some ideas ofhow you can play throughout the
month.
Now you know how it's going tomake you better in bed or more
(43:03):
knowledgeable in bed or capableof receiving more pleasure in
bed.
Because I know oftentimes forwomen it's hard for us to just
lay back and receive.
You're going to get practicethat you may find you never want
to stop doing that.
So that you can really use thismonth to improve your sex life.
Thank you so much for thisconversation.
Can you tell my listeners wherethey can find you if they want
(43:25):
to learn more about you or learnlearn more from you?
SPEAKER_01 (43:29):
Absolutely.
So you can find me atlilithfox.com and that's Fox of
Two X's.
I'm also on Instagram, Facebook,and Blue Sky at the Lilith Fox.
And yeah, you can just kind ofreach out to me directly.
I make a lot of content andyeah, it'll be fun.
SPEAKER_00 (43:45):
And if you're listening to this and you have
qu questions or comments, youcan scroll down to the comment
section.
If you're on my YouTube channelat TalkSexwithanet, you can drop
your comment, your questionbelow the video.
If you are an audio listener,you can email me at Annette at
talksexwithanet.com.
I will try to get back to you assoon as possible.
If you have a question forLilith, we'll get it to her.
(44:08):
So make sure that you send thoseto me.
Also, if you have a story youwant to share, I love your
stories.
I like to hear your take onthese topics.
So make sure to sound off andlet me know what your thoughts
are.
Thank you again so much forjoining.
SPEAKER_01 (44:24):
Thanks so much for having me.
SPEAKER_00 (44:26):
And to my listeners, I'll see you in the locker room.
Cheers.
Cheers.
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