S2 Episode 4 - Reframing Pregnancy Loss.

In Episode 4 of Season 2, Natalie & Chelsea sit down with Emma Calderon to discuss fertility, her journey to conceive after pregnancy loss, and motherhood, and how her mindset impacted her journey.  

Show Notes:

Hosts:  

- Natalie M.

- Chelsea M.

Timestamps:

**00:00** - Introduction 

**00:31** - Beginning of Episode - Guest Intro of Emma Calderon.

**02:22** - Natalie asks Emma to take us back to the start of her Motherhood journey.

**06:30** - Natalie asks Emma when she reframed her first pregnancy as a “gift”.

**09:45** - Natalie asks Emma how she reframed her feelings of shame, guilt, etc around the loss of her first pregnancy. Did she use a specific process, see a therapist, take time off from work, etc.?

**16:08** - Natalie asks Emma how she addressed her feelings of isolation within her marriage.

**17:35** - Natalie asks Emma to take us through her second pregnancy.

**22:47** - Chelsea asks Emma if there was a piece of advice that she received that really resonated with/helped her.

**23:41** - Natalie asks Emma what the least helpful piece of advice was that she received and what makes people say these kinds of things. 

**27:34** - Natalie asks Emma what other methods or processes she used to manage her stress at this time.

**33:04** - Break

**33:43** - Chelsea asks Emma how cultivating a mindset of being able to, “surrender to something that is not in her control” has helped in mothering her twin boys.

**37:54** - Natalie asks Emma if she ever thought mothering wouldn’t come naturally to her. 

**41:55** - Natalie asks Emma if motherhood has changed her as a person and/or how she moves through life now. 

**44:32** - Natalie asks Emma if when she looks back on everything that has happened, would she choose to do anything differently.

**46:04** - Chelsea asks Emma if there is a word that captures her journey or a word that enabled her to navigate these challenges.

**48:07** - Closing

**48:57** - End of Episode

**49:14** - Stay Tuned

**49:52** - Outro

Key Takeaways:

1. “Fixed Mindset”: Belief that abilities, talents, and traits are fixed or inherent and cannot be significantly changed.

Example: Avoiding challenges for fear of failure.

2. “Growth Mindset”: Belief that abilities, talents, and traits can be developed and improved through effort and learning.

 Example: Embracing challenges as opportunities to grow.

3. **Tips for Cultivating a Growth Mindset**

Self-Awareness

- Identify Your Fixed Mindset Triggers: Recognize the situations that trigger a fixed mindset (e.g., challenges, setbacks, or criticism).

- Reflect: Make it a habit to reflect on your thoughts and feelings regularly, identifying instances where a fixed mindset held you back.

Change Your Language

- Switch Your Language: Instead of saying “I can’t do this” or “I’ll never . . .,” say “I can’t do this yet,” or “I am moving towards . . . .”

- Embrace Constructive Feedback:  When you or others fail, #failforward by focusing on what can be learned from the experience.

Reframe Challenges and Setbacks

- Stretch Goals:  Set an objective that pushes you out of your comfort zone.

- Reframe Failures: View setbacks as opportunities for growth, not as a validation of an inability or shortcoming.

Embrace Feedback and Prioritize Learning Over Validation

- Constructive Criticism:  Actively seek out feedback that helps you improve or refine your skills.

- Encourage Open Dialogue: Create an environment or cultivate relationships where open and constructive feedback is welcomed and regular.

- Value the Process: Prioritize learning and improving over success or perfection

- Focus on Yourself: Prioritize yourself, focus on your personal development,