October 17, 2023 • 21 mins
Ever considered how your perspective can influence your self-image, your relationship with money, and even your day-to-day life decisions?
Prepare for a journey of insight as we unpack the transformative power of perspective, using my personal experiences as a roadmap. This episode unravels how a simple shift of viewpoint can open avenues for self-improvement and provide a profound understanding of life's challenges.
I share personal anecdotes - from my trip to Vegas to the trials of enduring a divorce – highlighting the significant role perspective played in my personal growth. We delve into how a broader outlook can bring about a positive change in our interpretations. The discussion progresses to reflect on our self-image, subconscious patterns, and interactions, demonstrating how changing perspectives can help us navigate our lives better. We also explore the concept of 'zooming out', a technique to achieve a more peaceful understanding of our struggles.
Join me, Justin Wenck, Ph.D., as we unravel the threads of our perspectives and weave them into a tapestry of self-awareness and growth.
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
All right, I think we'll start now.
Welcome to the show.
Today I am talking about thepower of perspective.
Today I'm talking about thepower of perspective, rethinking
challenges.
This is a topic that this isone of the things like I'm just
(00:25):
amazing at is perspective, andthe better I've gotten at it,
the better my life is, and thebetter you get at it, the better
your life's going to be.
So I'm going to go all aboutinto perspective a little deep
dive, so you're not going towant to miss this episode.
So what's been going on with melately?
Currently getting ready to go ona trip to Las Vegas, so I'm
(00:49):
recording this a little bitsooner and it's one of those
things where I'm like I don'teven know if I'm a Vegas person.
When I was younger, I was likeall about Vegas, like oh yeah, I
want to go there and have thewildest time and dreams come
true and, you know, win money atthings and you know meet, do
partying and all that stuff, andlike I think I went about two
(01:13):
years ago and just like I just Idon't know if I like Vegas
anymore, I don't know if I likethe scene and this and that, and
so I'm going.
This is part of a birthdaycelebration.
So, as a friend and a bunch ofother people that some I know
and a lot of other people get tomeet and it's still pool party
(01:34):
season and I'm like, oh, I dolove being in water, sun, things
like that, because it's like,even though I live in California
near San Francisco, there'spools, places.
It's just I don't really knowof a great pool nearby where I
just want to like chill out,hang, things like that.
So that sounds kind ofinteresting and I really know
(01:57):
that Vegas is just one of theseplaces.
I mean, there's no place likeit in the world and that's why I
still peen any people come fromall over the world to go there.
It literally has just aboutanything and everything you
could possibly want.
The key is knowing what you wantbefore you go there so you can
focus on doing that, becauseit's the Vegas environment.
(02:19):
It accentuates, it acceleratesjust about anything, and so if
you're having a great time, youcan have an even more amazing
time.
The next level of fun is there.
If you're not, the next levelof depression, depravity,
awfulness is also there, becauseI've definitely had some awful
trips to Vegas where I was likegoing with people I don't want
(02:42):
to be hanging out with and it'sjust like, oh man, just remind
me of all the things I didn'tlike about my life.
It's like I don't have themoney to do the things that
these other people are doing,and just all sorts of ways.
And I think this really playsin well with today's topic of
perspective, because it wasbasically when I shifted my
perspective about this trip.
(03:02):
It went from like, oh boy, Ihope I can survive this.
Oh my gosh, I can't wait.
I'm so excited.
And one of the things I'm superexcited about I'll talk about
at the very end, yeah, and thething is is that our perspective
can just shift us so much.
Like for me.
(03:23):
In the past, I've used my changein perspective to help me
through some really, reallyawful, horrible times.
Like many of you have beenlistening, you know that I've
been divorced.
I wasn't married all that long,but I was with the person for
seven years, as short and asstraightforward as it was
(03:47):
supposed to be, had a prenup andall that stuff.
It was still one of the worstexperiences I had.
I wouldn't wish a divorce on myworst enemy.
Those of you that have kids andhave gone through divorce.
My heart goes out to you.
Yeah, one of the things thatreally helped me go through the
process and, as painful as itwas, I was able to not add more
(04:08):
pain, because so much can belike, well, maybe I was a
failure, or maybe this or thatwhen I was able to shift my
perspective, because now it'ssuper easy to see that I was the
best thing, one of the bestthings I've ever done in my life
, because just to be able to notbe with somebody that no longer
(04:29):
in alignment to the amount offreedom that gives each of us,
just phenomenal.
The only difference in thatperspective really is the time.
Yet there's no reason not tohave that perspective while
you're in something, even whileI was in it, just be able to
know that, okay, this is goingto result in a much better
(04:53):
opportunity for each of us.
Let's figure this out.
Let's go through the process.
Did it make everything supereasy and fun?
No, yet it made it way less badif it was just like well, this
is not supposed to be happening,this is not good, this is a bad
thing.
If that was my perspective, ifthat was all I could see, then
(05:14):
it would have been really reallytough.
Let's get a little bit into whatexactly is perspective, because
sometimes perspective andopinion can get a little bit
intertwined.
They're very two distinctthings.
It really is just the lens ofhow are you able to see the
world.
What are you seeing in theworld, whereas the opinion is
(05:37):
zooming in and focusing on onething and maybe having a take on
it?
If my perspective is only wideenough to see the current
situation of the divorce, thenmy opinion might be that this is
really awful and shitty.
When I switch that perspectiveto zoom out and maybe shift to
(05:57):
see what's it going to be like ayear from now, two years from
now, three years from now, andgo oh wait, this is going to
allow some opportunity for me tolive my life differently.
Oh, if I look at how thingswould have been financially,
this is long run.
Whatever I think is maybeexpensive now.
Things were done differently,or if I waited longer, it would
(06:17):
have been even worse for me.
That allows a lot more optionsto see and then my opinion can
change from being like all I seeis bad, this is bad to okay.
There's some challenging thingshere that are happening now,
yet Overall, this is the bestfor all of us involved and going
to work out great and going towork out fine.
Just about anything that you'veexperienced in life can I'm not
(06:43):
going to say magically makeeverything better, but it can
make it a little bit better andit can give you a chance
Sometimes when really shittythings happen.
Covid was a phenomenal exampleof.
I don't think there was anybodyin it that was like, well, this
is great.
I mean there could have beensome people that are like, oh
(07:05):
man, I got some biotech stockslike hell, yeah.
That were immediately like thisis the best thing ever.
Yet I know for myself and manyother people were like, okay,
this sucks, don't like it.
Yet what is the possiblepositive?
What good can come out of this?
That's the zoom in out, theperspective, and so that's one
(07:27):
of the.
So there's several benefits tohaving you know the ability to
shift, change, expandperspective.
There's being able to see.
You know the unseen, you knowblind spots right, like there
are probably, you know, peoplethat knew about that.
My marriage had some issuesbefore I did, because they had a
different perspective.
So often we are just stuck inour own perspective of things.
(07:51):
The other is being able toinnovate right, being able to go
beyond what has just been done.
And so if you can kind of see,well, what's the problem from
other perspectives, and thenthat allows for like, well,
what's another possible solution, and so this is really big for
those of you that work in thetech space or just any type of
(08:12):
problem solving thing.
So even if you're an attorney, amedical professional, a healer
or a creative type, like, if youcan shift your perspective,
that's not just good for you,that's good for anybody else and
you can gift that.
And that's one of the thingsthat I love to do for people,
and we already talked about sortof the resilience.
And the other thing is empathyis, if you're able to shift your
(08:34):
perspective to that as someoneelse, you can have empathy with
somebody, and that's going tomake it a lot easier to work
with somebody, because if youkind of understand where they're
coming from, the way they'reseeing it, then it makes it
easier to go like, okay, theydid that, they did that thing
that I don't like, not becausethey hate me, but just because,
from where they're seeing it,they thought that was the best
(08:55):
option, they thought that wasthe best way, and maybe we can
figure out a way for them to seemy perspective, or maybe I can
adjust what I'm needing or whatI'm wanting, once I really
understand them and see it trulyfrom their side.
And then the other thing isjust avoiding stagnation, just
not getting stuck in the sameold, same old, because if you
just have the same perspective,you're seeing things in the same
(09:17):
way, so you're likely going todo the exact same things and so
it's just like well, it's beenworking.
Let's keep doing it before, andI'll tell you before, I'll tell
you again and I'll keep tellingit over and over If you don't
change, the world is changing.
And so just because you don'tchange and don't want to change
doesn't mean that you can justchill out like that, like every
(09:38):
day, money's being worthless,your health is deteriorating.
If you're not changing anddoing things to continue to make
the world the way you want itto be.
And part of that is having theperspective of what's actually
going out in the world what, howcould I shift?
And if you're not trying to seethat, you're not able to see
that, you're going to miss itand instead of you getting to
(10:01):
say, okay, this is how I want itto be.
That's when the wall up comes.
That's when the illness or thebreakup or the job loss it's a
quote, unquote surprise.
Yet probably to most peoplethere would be no surprise
because they have theperspective of seeing that this
is happening.
You can become proactive in yourlife by proactively shifting
(10:24):
perspective.
You might be wondering, okay,what are some ways to work on
your perspective?
There's multiple perspectives,but I like this framework of
four different main perspectivesthat you can work with.
There's your self perspective,there's a perspective on another
(10:47):
, there's a perspective of athird party, an outside observer
, and then there's a globalperspective.
What do I mean by each of these?
How do you use this to youradvantage, to your benefit?
I'm a big proponent of if itadvantages you, it's advantaging
everybody else, because theonly time people really in my
opinion, from my perspectivereally do awful things to other
(11:09):
people is when they think theyhave no other choice, that it's
just like it's me or them.
When we expand our perspective,we can see oh, it doesn't have
to be me or them, it can be meand them.
Just subtle, little, teenyshifts can have a big, big
impact.
Your own perspective.
This is going to be easy.
You've been doing this yourentire life.
(11:30):
You know what you see, how yousee it, how you've seen it.
A lot of this didn't reallycome from you.
This was put onto you fromother people, from your parents,
from going to school, from yourcoworkers, from your friends.
They have instructed you of howto see the world.
(11:51):
One big thing for the longesttime was like well, money just
has to be earned through apaycheck.
That's how I'd seen it.
It wasn't until I allowed myperspective to shift, to be
opened up, making money otherways, that when I went to house
it was like, oh, I couldrefinance my home.
This was back when interestrates were actually going down.
All I had to do was fill outsome paperwork.
(12:11):
Suddenly, I didn't have to payas much.
They even wrote me a check forsome extra money.
It was just wonderful.
I was like, oh okay, there'sother ways for money to come in.
That's the self-view.
Basically, that's your default.
What are the other ones and howcan we practice those?
(12:32):
The other is the view fromsomebody else, whenever you're
in a situation maybe it's arelationship, or maybe it's a
coworker, just anywhere.
Even it could be the checkoutperson.
Just consider how are theyseeing me?
It can even just be as simpleas literally.
How are they seeing what Iappear like to them?
(12:55):
Maybe this happens to you, butI always find it funny where
sometimes I'll wear a reallyclever t-shirt or just something
that maybe has a lot of meaningto other people, but I didn't
really care, I just thought itwas a cool shirt.
I once bought this t-shirt thatwas from this lucky brand store.
It fitted really well.
It was this blue, made my eyespop.
It's like triumph motorcycleson it.
(13:19):
I'm just like I know nothing.
Apparently, to certain peoplethat is a big deal.
They get really excited and gooh, triumph motorcycles reminds
me of my grandpa, I don't knowwhat the fuck.
Anyway, I'd wear this shirtsometimes and somebody just
walked me like, yeah, triumphman, you ride like I don't just
ride roller coasters, what arewe riding?
(13:39):
And then they're like yourshirt, the triumph motorcycles.
Oh, and I had forgotten howother people are seeing me.
They're seeing me in this shirt, so they're seeing me in the
shirt.
They would see or hear my toneof things.
And so just sort of start takinga second, a minute, not even a
minute, but a few seconds toconsider how is this person
(14:02):
across from me perceiving me inthis moment.
What is there?
It could be quite literal andthen there could also be like
what is their lens of the world?
Have they met people like me,that look like me, and how has
that experience been?
And just considering that,because our appearance is going
(14:22):
to be triggering, you know, notgood or bad, but it's gonna have
reminders of, oh, I saw someonethat looked like like the you
and they treated me this way,and that's just how we work.
It's just we try to do patternmatching and try to go like oh,
when I have this pattern before,this is what happened, let's
(14:43):
see if that's useful.
And it's good for us torecognize consciously that we're
doing that.
Seven like okay, well, that wasthen, but this is a fresh
moment.
What's the?
What's all the information, notjust this like quick,
subconscious pattern match butremember, not everybody might be
working that way and so, if youcan kind of go, you know what,
(15:04):
based off of how I appear, maybewhere this person grew up or
their perception people looklike me, they could be having
this reaction and so Maybethere's something I could do
differently in the situationthat's gonna make it easier for
them to interact with me.
So just things to consider.
Then the other is what wouldsomebody complete third party?
(15:25):
They're just fly on the wall.
What would their opinion be onthis?
I remember I was walking,walking down the street from my
place.
This is just a couple weeks agoand so I gotta go down the
street before I turn a cornerand I can see the ocean and it's
just about one more block and Ican walk on the ocean.
It's beautiful.
(15:46):
But on that corner what I haveto turn there is a mini market
and as I'm turning that corner,I see a guy on his phone going
uh, huh, yeah, I'll get.
I'm just right on the cornerhere, on the near this mini
market, you know.
And I walk a few feet and thenI see, you know, see, in front
of me, to the right, another guyon the phone is going like, oh
(16:09):
yeah, I'm looking for you andand the other guy goes like,
okay, I'm waving my hand.
I see the guy waving his hand.
I go okay, I just see you.
And I'm able to see thisinteraction of both these people
and I know, as I walk by theone guy, I'm so glad that you
two found each other.
I was wondering how this wasgonna end, because I got to see
(16:30):
both sides of this conversationand you can also sort of take
that view anytime you want aswell.
So, in an argument or whatever,trying to go like what, what is
somebody else maybe seeing?
Like, are they seeing usfrustrated?
Are they seeing us in a motion?
Are they seeing us notlistening?
And then, as soon as you'reable to do that, you have access
(16:52):
to that information you canstart to behave, act differently
.
And the fourth one is thisglobal perspective, which is
zooming out.
Zooming out across all space,across all time, as much, as as
much as you're capable of, whichis, you know, across all time.
And this is kind of what Imentioned a little bit in the
divorce thing is zooming out.
So you know, the grand schemelike this sucks.
(17:14):
Right now.
This process is sort of likeFigure out who gets what and how
.
Are you gonna make this happen?
It sucks.
Yet you know, in the scheme ofmy entire life Other people help
me, as you know is is the checkthat I'm gonna write?
Is that really gonna be a bigdeal?
Is that gonna be like a bignothing?
So do I really wanna Get soangry and try to fight for every
(17:37):
penny.
And with that perspective, youknow, or you know, hey, is this
really gonna impact me or impactthe world?
Is it gonna have what I wannabe leaving as a legacy If I'm on
my death bed?
Am I gonna be like I'm so gladthat this person knew I was
right about?
You know, this, this scene instar wars, like, is just who
(17:58):
gives a shit.
A lot of stuff is, you know, notas important as we think it is,
and it allows us to reallycircle back, and I will.
What is important?
What is it?
And often, to me, anyway, it's.
It's how are we treating otherpeople and how are we enjoying
our lives and what's the impactthat we're really ultimately
having?
A lot of these little things goaway when we Broaden our
(18:18):
perspective, when we see that.
So you know, that's have myperspective, there's your
perspective, there's a thirdparties perspective, and then
there's the global perspective.
And to be able to go through allof these something I am just
masterful at.
And if you're like, oh my gosh,I'm having a hard time, I'm not
getting it, I got some goodnews for you coming up starting.
(18:42):
So we'll have already had thefirst one when this episode
comes out, but for the rest of2023, the first three Wednesdays
of every month, I'm doing whatI'm calling the ideal life
accelerator.
It's one-on-one coaching andtransformation sessions.
So it's going to be every noonon Wednesdays noon Pacific, 3 pm
(19:06):
Eastern and these sessions arefree.
The only thing is is that onlyfive people I can bring into the
room where I will do theone-on-one hot seat coaching,
where it's a few minutes witheach person.
But my ability to understandwhat's going on and find that
alternate perspective, I can doincredible things in just a few
(19:27):
minutes.
So I really want you toexperience that.
And then, because once you'veexperienced it, you're going to
be able to take that and you'regoing to be able to do it
yourself, which is, ultimately,I want you to be able to find
the wider, fuller perspective.
So then you can choose youropinion, you can choose how you
want to see the world, you canchoose what you want to do.
You're not just stuck doingwhat you've been doing over and
over and over and over again,because chances are what you've
(19:49):
been doing isn't working.
I mean, do you have your ideallife yet?
Are you living the life youwant?
Because if not, then you've gotto get into one of these
sessions, so it'll bejustinwinkcom slash ideallifex,
so it's ideal life accelerator.
I have a hard time spellingaccelerator, so X for
acceleration, even though I knowit really starts with an A and
(20:11):
there's no X in it, but it makesit easier to spell, so that
should be the link in the shownotes as well.
So, really looking forward tosigning up to get in there.
The first 15 minutes is goingto be streamed out because
there's going to be some awesome, amazing nuggets.
So even if you don't get aone-on-one session, but it's a
(20:31):
way to get you on the list andso you'll be first up for the
next session, because these arehighly valuable can change your
life, and I want you to changeyour life so that you live the
life you want.
You deserve to be living yourideal life.
So with that thank you forlistening about all these
different ways a perspective canbenefit you, how you can shift
your perspective, and would loveto be seeing you in my ideal
(20:54):
life experience and before I go,what is the big thing that has
shifted my perspective on howI'm going to enjoy my upcoming
Vegas trip?
So the birthday and otherfestivities they're only Friday
through Saturday midday, butSaturday night is free and I'm
(21:14):
like, what would I like to do?
So I went to see what concertsare available and guess who had
the ticket available?
Katy Perry.
So I've got a great ticket likefinale price, good view of Katy
Perry.
She's, I think, only like onemonth left of her residency.
I heard that she might havekissed a girl at one point and
(21:38):
so I just really want to findout did she like it?
Was there chapstick involved?
So I'm excited to go check thisout, find out and just see some
spectacle, have some fun, havesome enjoyment, get some sun out
there at the pool.
And so now I'm just like, andI'm excited for it, because I'm
(21:59):
going to do what I want to do.
I mean, I'm there for tocelebrate the birthday duel of
that, but I'm also there for me,and that's okay, and I want you
to be here for you and doingwhat works for you.
And if you're not, then talk tome.
All right, you can podcast atJustinWinkcom or JustinWink PhD
on all the socials except forTwitter, x, whatever the hell
it's called TikTok, linkedin,facebook, instagram, justinwink
(22:24):
PhD.
Hit me up there, let me knowwhat you thought, let me know
how can you change yourperspective?
What are your thoughts?
Looking forward to talking toyou soon and with that, good day
.
All right, I think we'll start now.
Welcome to the show.
Today I am talking about thepower of perspective.
Today I'm talking about thepower of perspective, rethinking
challenges.
This is a topic that this isone of the things like I'm just
(00:25):
amazing at is perspective, andthe better I've gotten at it,
the better my life is, and thebetter you get at it, the better
your life's going to be.
So I'm going to go all aboutinto perspective a little deep
dive, so you're not going towant to miss this episode.
So what's been going on with melately?
Currently getting ready to go ona trip to Las Vegas, so I'm
(00:49):
recording this a little bitsooner and it's one of those
things where I'm like I don'teven know if I'm a Vegas person.
When I was younger, I was likeall about Vegas, like oh yeah, I
want to go there and have thewildest time and dreams come
true and, you know, win money atthings and you know meet, do
partying and all that stuff, andlike I think I went about two
(01:13):
years ago and just like I just Idon't know if I like Vegas
anymore, I don't know if I likethe scene and this and that, and
so I'm going.
This is part of a birthdaycelebration.
So, as a friend and a bunch ofother people that some I know
and a lot of other people get tomeet and it's still pool party
(01:34):
season and I'm like, oh, I dolove being in water, sun, things
like that, because it's like,even though I live in California
near San Francisco, there'spools, places.
It's just I don't really knowof a great pool nearby where I
just want to like chill out,hang, things like that.
So that sounds kind ofinteresting and I really know
(01:57):
that Vegas is just one of theseplaces.
I mean, there's no place likeit in the world and that's why I
still peen any people come fromall over the world to go there.
It literally has just aboutanything and everything you
could possibly want.
The key is knowing what you wantbefore you go there so you can
focus on doing that, becauseit's the Vegas environment.
(02:19):
It accentuates, it acceleratesjust about anything, and so if
you're having a great time, youcan have an even more amazing
time.
The next level of fun is there.
If you're not, the next levelof depression, depravity,
awfulness is also there, becauseI've definitely had some awful
trips to Vegas where I was likegoing with people I don't want
(02:42):
to be hanging out with and it'sjust like, oh man, just remind
me of all the things I didn'tlike about my life.
It's like I don't have themoney to do the things that
these other people are doing,and just all sorts of ways.
And I think this really playsin well with today's topic of
perspective, because it wasbasically when I shifted my
perspective about this trip.
(03:02):
It went from like, oh boy, Ihope I can survive this.
Oh my gosh, I can't wait.
I'm so excited.
And one of the things I'm superexcited about I'll talk about
at the very end, yeah, and thething is is that our perspective
can just shift us so much.
Like for me.
(03:23):
In the past, I've used my changein perspective to help me
through some really, reallyawful, horrible times.
Like many of you have beenlistening, you know that I've
been divorced.
I wasn't married all that long,but I was with the person for
seven years, as short and asstraightforward as it was
(03:47):
supposed to be, had a prenup andall that stuff.
It was still one of the worstexperiences I had.
I wouldn't wish a divorce on myworst enemy.
Those of you that have kids andhave gone through divorce.
My heart goes out to you.
Yeah, one of the things thatreally helped me go through the
process and, as painful as itwas, I was able to not add more
(04:08):
pain, because so much can belike, well, maybe I was a
failure, or maybe this or thatwhen I was able to shift my
perspective, because now it'ssuper easy to see that I was the
best thing, one of the bestthings I've ever done in my life
, because just to be able to notbe with somebody that no longer
(04:29):
in alignment to the amount offreedom that gives each of us,
just phenomenal.
The only difference in thatperspective really is the time.
Yet there's no reason not tohave that perspective while
you're in something, even whileI was in it, just be able to
know that, okay, this is goingto result in a much better
(04:53):
opportunity for each of us.
Let's figure this out.
Let's go through the process.
Did it make everything supereasy and fun?
No, yet it made it way less badif it was just like well, this
is not supposed to be happening,this is not good, this is a bad
thing.
If that was my perspective, ifthat was all I could see, then
(05:14):
it would have been really reallytough.
Let's get a little bit into whatexactly is perspective, because
sometimes perspective andopinion can get a little bit
intertwined.
They're very two distinctthings.
It really is just the lens ofhow are you able to see the
world.
What are you seeing in theworld, whereas the opinion is
(05:37):
zooming in and focusing on onething and maybe having a take on
it?
If my perspective is only wideenough to see the current
situation of the divorce, thenmy opinion might be that this is
really awful and shitty.
When I switch that perspectiveto zoom out and maybe shift to
(05:57):
see what's it going to be like ayear from now, two years from
now, three years from now, andgo oh wait, this is going to
allow some opportunity for me tolive my life differently.
Oh, if I look at how thingswould have been financially,
this is long run.
Whatever I think is maybeexpensive now.
Things were done differently,or if I waited longer, it would
(06:17):
have been even worse for me.
That allows a lot more optionsto see and then my opinion can
change from being like all I seeis bad, this is bad to okay.
There's some challenging thingshere that are happening now,
yet Overall, this is the bestfor all of us involved and going
to work out great and going towork out fine.
Just about anything that you'veexperienced in life can I'm not
(06:43):
going to say magically makeeverything better, but it can
make it a little bit better andit can give you a chance
Sometimes when really shittythings happen.
Covid was a phenomenal exampleof.
I don't think there was anybodyin it that was like, well, this
is great.
I mean there could have beensome people that are like, oh
(07:05):
man, I got some biotech stockslike hell, yeah.
That were immediately like thisis the best thing ever.
Yet I know for myself and manyother people were like, okay,
this sucks, don't like it.
Yet what is the possiblepositive?
What good can come out of this?
That's the zoom in out, theperspective, and so that's one
(07:27):
of the.
So there's several benefits tohaving you know the ability to
shift, change, expandperspective.
There's being able to see.
You know the unseen, you knowblind spots right, like there
are probably, you know, peoplethat knew about that.
My marriage had some issuesbefore I did, because they had a
different perspective.
So often we are just stuck inour own perspective of things.
(07:51):
The other is being able toinnovate right, being able to go
beyond what has just been done.
And so if you can kind of see,well, what's the problem from
other perspectives, and thenthat allows for like, well,
what's another possible solution, and so this is really big for
those of you that work in thetech space or just any type of
(08:12):
problem solving thing.
So even if you're an attorney, amedical professional, a healer
or a creative type, like, if youcan shift your perspective,
that's not just good for you,that's good for anybody else and
you can gift that.
And that's one of the thingsthat I love to do for people,
and we already talked about sortof the resilience.
And the other thing is empathyis, if you're able to shift your
(08:34):
perspective to that as someoneelse, you can have empathy with
somebody, and that's going tomake it a lot easier to work
with somebody, because if youkind of understand where they're
coming from, the way they'reseeing it, then it makes it
easier to go like, okay, theydid that, they did that thing
that I don't like, not becausethey hate me, but just because,
from where they're seeing it,they thought that was the best
(08:55):
option, they thought that wasthe best way, and maybe we can
figure out a way for them to seemy perspective, or maybe I can
adjust what I'm needing or whatI'm wanting, once I really
understand them and see it trulyfrom their side.
And then the other thing isjust avoiding stagnation, just
not getting stuck in the sameold, same old, because if you
just have the same perspective,you're seeing things in the same
(09:17):
way, so you're likely going todo the exact same things and so
it's just like well, it's beenworking.
Let's keep doing it before, andI'll tell you before, I'll tell
you again and I'll keep tellingit over and over If you don't
change, the world is changing.
And so just because you don'tchange and don't want to change
doesn't mean that you can justchill out like that, like every
(09:38):
day, money's being worthless,your health is deteriorating.
If you're not changing anddoing things to continue to make
the world the way you want itto be.
And part of that is having theperspective of what's actually
going out in the world what, howcould I shift?
And if you're not trying to seethat, you're not able to see
that, you're going to miss itand instead of you getting to
(10:01):
say, okay, this is how I want itto be.
That's when the wall up comes.
That's when the illness or thebreakup or the job loss it's a
quote, unquote surprise.
Yet probably to most peoplethere would be no surprise
because they have theperspective of seeing that this
is happening.
You can become proactive in yourlife by proactively shifting
(10:24):
perspective.
You might be wondering, okay,what are some ways to work on
your perspective?
There's multiple perspectives,but I like this framework of
four different main perspectivesthat you can work with.
There's your self perspective,there's a perspective on another
(10:47):
, there's a perspective of athird party, an outside observer
, and then there's a globalperspective.
What do I mean by each of these?
How do you use this to youradvantage, to your benefit?
I'm a big proponent of if itadvantages you, it's advantaging
everybody else, because theonly time people really in my
opinion, from my perspectivereally do awful things to other
(11:09):
people is when they think theyhave no other choice, that it's
just like it's me or them.
When we expand our perspective,we can see oh, it doesn't have
to be me or them, it can be meand them.
Just subtle, little, teenyshifts can have a big, big
impact.
Your own perspective.
This is going to be easy.
You've been doing this yourentire life.
(11:30):
You know what you see, how yousee it, how you've seen it.
A lot of this didn't reallycome from you.
This was put onto you fromother people, from your parents,
from going to school, from yourcoworkers, from your friends.
They have instructed you of howto see the world.
(11:51):
One big thing for the longesttime was like well, money just
has to be earned through apaycheck.
That's how I'd seen it.
It wasn't until I allowed myperspective to shift, to be
opened up, making money otherways, that when I went to house
it was like, oh, I couldrefinance my home.
This was back when interestrates were actually going down.
All I had to do was fill outsome paperwork.
(12:11):
Suddenly, I didn't have to payas much.
They even wrote me a check forsome extra money.
It was just wonderful.
I was like, oh okay, there'sother ways for money to come in.
That's the self-view.
Basically, that's your default.
What are the other ones and howcan we practice those?
(12:32):
The other is the view fromsomebody else, whenever you're
in a situation maybe it's arelationship, or maybe it's a
coworker, just anywhere.
Even it could be the checkoutperson.
Just consider how are theyseeing me?
It can even just be as simpleas literally.
How are they seeing what Iappear like to them?
(12:55):
Maybe this happens to you, butI always find it funny where
sometimes I'll wear a reallyclever t-shirt or just something
that maybe has a lot of meaningto other people, but I didn't
really care, I just thought itwas a cool shirt.
I once bought this t-shirt thatwas from this lucky brand store.
It fitted really well.
It was this blue, made my eyespop.
It's like triumph motorcycleson it.
(13:19):
I'm just like I know nothing.
Apparently, to certain peoplethat is a big deal.
They get really excited and gooh, triumph motorcycles reminds
me of my grandpa, I don't knowwhat the fuck.
Anyway, I'd wear this shirtsometimes and somebody just
walked me like, yeah, triumphman, you ride like I don't just
ride roller coasters, what arewe riding?
(13:39):
And then they're like yourshirt, the triumph motorcycles.
Oh, and I had forgotten howother people are seeing me.
They're seeing me in this shirt, so they're seeing me in the
shirt.
They would see or hear my toneof things.
And so just sort of start takinga second, a minute, not even a
minute, but a few seconds toconsider how is this person
(14:02):
across from me perceiving me inthis moment.
What is there?
It could be quite literal andthen there could also be like
what is their lens of the world?
Have they met people like me,that look like me, and how has
that experience been?
And just considering that,because our appearance is going
(14:22):
to be triggering, you know, notgood or bad, but it's gonna have
reminders of, oh, I saw someonethat looked like like the you
and they treated me this way,and that's just how we work.
It's just we try to do patternmatching and try to go like oh,
when I have this pattern before,this is what happened, let's
(14:43):
see if that's useful.
And it's good for us torecognize consciously that we're
doing that.
Seven like okay, well, that wasthen, but this is a fresh
moment.
What's the?
What's all the information, notjust this like quick,
subconscious pattern match butremember, not everybody might be
working that way and so, if youcan kind of go, you know what,
(15:04):
based off of how I appear, maybewhere this person grew up or
their perception people looklike me, they could be having
this reaction and so Maybethere's something I could do
differently in the situationthat's gonna make it easier for
them to interact with me.
So just things to consider.
Then the other is what wouldsomebody complete third party?
(15:25):
They're just fly on the wall.
What would their opinion be onthis?
I remember I was walking,walking down the street from my
place.
This is just a couple weeks agoand so I gotta go down the
street before I turn a cornerand I can see the ocean and it's
just about one more block and Ican walk on the ocean.
It's beautiful.
(15:46):
But on that corner what I haveto turn there is a mini market
and as I'm turning that corner,I see a guy on his phone going
uh, huh, yeah, I'll get.
I'm just right on the cornerhere, on the near this mini
market, you know.
And I walk a few feet and thenI see, you know, see, in front
of me, to the right, another guyon the phone is going like, oh
(16:09):
yeah, I'm looking for you andand the other guy goes like,
okay, I'm waving my hand.
I see the guy waving his hand.
I go okay, I just see you.
And I'm able to see thisinteraction of both these people
and I know, as I walk by theone guy, I'm so glad that you
two found each other.
I was wondering how this wasgonna end, because I got to see
(16:30):
both sides of this conversationand you can also sort of take
that view anytime you want aswell.
So, in an argument or whatever,trying to go like what, what is
somebody else maybe seeing?
Like, are they seeing usfrustrated?
Are they seeing us in a motion?
Are they seeing us notlistening?
And then, as soon as you'reable to do that, you have access
(16:52):
to that information you canstart to behave, act differently
.
And the fourth one is thisglobal perspective, which is
zooming out.
Zooming out across all space,across all time, as much, as as
much as you're capable of, whichis, you know, across all time.
And this is kind of what Imentioned a little bit in the
divorce thing is zooming out.
So you know, the grand schemelike this sucks.
(17:14):
Right now.
This process is sort of likeFigure out who gets what and how
.
Are you gonna make this happen?
It sucks.
Yet you know, in the scheme ofmy entire life Other people help
me, as you know is is the checkthat I'm gonna write?
Is that really gonna be a bigdeal?
Is that gonna be like a bignothing?
So do I really wanna Get soangry and try to fight for every
(17:37):
penny.
And with that perspective, youknow, or you know, hey, is this
really gonna impact me or impactthe world?
Is it gonna have what I wannabe leaving as a legacy If I'm on
my death bed?
Am I gonna be like I'm so gladthat this person knew I was
right about?
You know, this, this scene instar wars, like, is just who
(17:58):
gives a shit.
A lot of stuff is, you know, notas important as we think it is,
and it allows us to reallycircle back, and I will.
What is important?
What is it?
And often, to me, anyway, it's.
It's how are we treating otherpeople and how are we enjoying
our lives and what's the impactthat we're really ultimately
having?
A lot of these little things goaway when we Broaden our
(18:18):
perspective, when we see that.
So you know, that's have myperspective, there's your
perspective, there's a thirdparties perspective, and then
there's the global perspective.
And to be able to go through allof these something I am just
masterful at.
And if you're like, oh my gosh,I'm having a hard time, I'm not
getting it, I got some goodnews for you coming up starting.
(18:42):
So we'll have already had thefirst one when this episode
comes out, but for the rest of2023, the first three Wednesdays
of every month, I'm doing whatI'm calling the ideal life
accelerator.
It's one-on-one coaching andtransformation sessions.
So it's going to be every noonon Wednesdays noon Pacific, 3 pm
(19:06):
Eastern and these sessions arefree.
The only thing is is that onlyfive people I can bring into the
room where I will do theone-on-one hot seat coaching,
where it's a few minutes witheach person.
But my ability to understandwhat's going on and find that
alternate perspective, I can doincredible things in just a few
(19:27):
minutes.
So I really want you toexperience that.
And then, because once you'veexperienced it, you're going to
be able to take that and you'regoing to be able to do it
yourself, which is, ultimately,I want you to be able to find
the wider, fuller perspective.
So then you can choose youropinion, you can choose how you
want to see the world, you canchoose what you want to do.
You're not just stuck doingwhat you've been doing over and
over and over and over again,because chances are what you've
(19:49):
been doing isn't working.
I mean, do you have your ideallife yet?
Are you living the life youwant?
Because if not, then you've gotto get into one of these
sessions, so it'll bejustinwinkcom slash ideallifex,
so it's ideal life accelerator.
I have a hard time spellingaccelerator, so X for
acceleration, even though I knowit really starts with an A and
(20:11):
there's no X in it, but it makesit easier to spell, so that
should be the link in the shownotes as well.
So, really looking forward tosigning up to get in there.
The first 15 minutes is goingto be streamed out because
there's going to be some awesome, amazing nuggets.
So even if you don't get aone-on-one session, but it's a
(20:31):
way to get you on the list andso you'll be first up for the
next session, because these arehighly valuable can change your
life, and I want you to changeyour life so that you live the
life you want.
You deserve to be living yourideal life.
So with that thank you forlistening about all these
different ways a perspective canbenefit you, how you can shift
your perspective, and would loveto be seeing you in my ideal
(20:54):
life experience and before I go,what is the big thing that has
shifted my perspective on howI'm going to enjoy my upcoming
Vegas trip?
So the birthday and otherfestivities they're only Friday
through Saturday midday, butSaturday night is free and I'm
(21:14):
like, what would I like to do?
So I went to see what concertsare available and guess who had
the ticket available?
Katy Perry.
So I've got a great ticket likefinale price, good view of Katy
Perry.
She's, I think, only like onemonth left of her residency.
I heard that she might havekissed a girl at one point and
(21:38):
so I just really want to findout did she like it?
Was there chapstick involved?
So I'm excited to go check thisout, find out and just see some
spectacle, have some fun, havesome enjoyment, get some sun out
there at the pool.
And so now I'm just like, andI'm excited for it, because I'm
(21:59):
going to do what I want to do.
I mean, I'm there for tocelebrate the birthday duel of
that, but I'm also there for me,and that's okay, and I want you
to be here for you and doingwhat works for you.
And if you're not, then talk tome.
All right, you can podcast atJustinWinkcom or JustinWink PhD
on all the socials except forTwitter, x, whatever the hell
it's called TikTok, linkedin,facebook, instagram, justinwink
(22:24):
PhD.
Hit me up there, let me knowwhat you thought, let me know
how can you change yourperspective?
What are your thoughts?
Looking forward to talking toyou soon and with that, good day
.
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