October 28, 2024 • 18 mins
Welcome back to The Finally Healed Podcast with Jessica! In this powerful and transformative episode, your host Jessica Lundy dives deep into the complexities of relationships. Whether you're single, dating, or already married, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you build and maintain the loving, supportive relationship you deserve.
Episode Highlights:
- The importance of clarity and non-negotiables in a partner
- Jessica's viral moment on The Next Level Living podcast
- How honesty and intentionality can strengthen your relationship
- The significance of submission and being a helpmate
- Balancing personal and professional ambitions within a relationship
- The power of vision boards and manifesting your ideal partner
- Real talk on the challenges and hard work required for long-lasting love
Jessica shares personal stories, practical advice, and a call to action that will inspire you to prioritize your mental health, embrace your healing journey, and achieve the relationship of your dreams.
Healing Moment of the Week: This week’s action item focuses on gaining clarity. If you're single, get specific about what you want in a partner. If you're in a relationship, assess what's working and what needs to change to align your visions for the future.
Join the Conversation: What are your non-negotiables in a partner? How do you navigate challenges in your relationship? Share your thoughts and experiences on social media and tag @finallyhealedpod.
Join the Waitlist for our end-of-the-year event Elevate & Thrive in 2025. https://jessicalundy.com/workshop/
Remember, you deserve love and happiness. Let’s continue to heal and grow together. You got this!
RESOURCES
Jessica Lundy
Connect with Jessica on Instagram @jessicalundytv and follow the Podcast @FinallyHealedPod.
Needs some extra motivation? I got you. Start your day with the 'Wake Up and Win Audio Affirmations' and have Jessica as your personal cheerleader. Get Your Copy Today.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Lundy (00:00):
I think you got to go into relationships knowing
what is dying, and I knew if Iwas going to be that
award-winning TV host, if I wasgoing to be that international
motivational speaker, if I wasgoing to be a mother, I was
going to have to marry someonethat was going to be willing to
help me, to support me, toencourage me, to lift me up,
(00:23):
because it was going to be a lotof weight that I was going to
have to carry Not physicalweight, right, but like the
mental requirement that it wasactually going to take to be
successful.
Welcome to Finally Healed withJessica Lundy podcast, where we
(00:54):
prioritize mental health,self-care and embracing our
healing journey together.
Now I need you to strap in forthis one, okay, because this
might get a little bitcontroversial.
This might step on some toes.
Um, this might make you reflecton some decisions you made in
(01:15):
the past that you might be like,ooh, I wish I didn't make them.
But I believe this episode hasthe ability to change your life
and, most importantly, changethe relationships you have with
the most important people inyour life.
Today we're talking all aboutrelationships and we're getting
(01:37):
real and we're getting raw andwe're getting honest.
Recently, I had a conversationwith some of the ladies that are
a part of my community and wewere just talking about, like,
what to look for in asignificant other, like what
works for you, what doesn't workfor you, and y'all it came up
(01:57):
about my viral clip.
So if you don't follow mepersonally on Instagram, make
sure you follow me at JessicaLundy TV.
But I had the amazingopportunity to be on the next
level living podcast where I wasasked about my husband and
y'all.
The clip went viral.
The video is so good.
(02:19):
Take a minute, just watch this.
So many people that are singlesay they want to be married.
But are you willing to submit?
Like there's this whole energyof self-made like I'm not
self-made, like I'm god made.
Come on right and then god putme in alignment with a spouse
who gets me.
Because I needed a help mate.
Like I knew that I was createdto serve at a high level and to
(02:41):
lead at a high level.
I needed a husband that washumble, that was willing to
support me in the ways that Ineeded to support.
He wasn't a photographer beforewe met.
What?
Oh, okay, he wasn't avideographer before we met.
We got married and in sixmonths I said hey look, I want
to have my own tv show.
I'm about to buy some equipment.
You think you can become mycreative director.
(03:04):
So then he had to put the workin to be what I needed and
essentially I called my husbanda helpmate and that made people
offended.
The craziest thing about thatoffending people is the whole
purpose of a relationship is forone person to submit to the
(03:27):
other person and the otherperson to submit to you see what
I'm saying?
Like relationship is supposedto be about you pouring love in
and the other person pouringlove in.
You serving, you being kind,you being loyal, you being
giving.
Like it is a sacrifice to be ina relationship.
The movies have lied to us.
(03:49):
It makes it seem likerelationships are easy, it makes
it seem like it's not that hardto have this perfect
relationship, but the reality isit takes work, it really takes
intentionality, and so todaywe're going to kind of dive into
some of the things we need tolook for in those relationships,
(04:09):
why sometimes you know we'reallowing outside voices, outside
influences, to affect ourrelationship.
So I just want to encourage youto just be open minded when you
think about what you need in ahelpmate.
So I have known since I was alittle kid probably about five
(04:33):
years old that I was going to bea star.
I knew that I was going to besuccessful.
I knew I was going to dosomething at a high level.
So, when it came to gettinginto a relationship and really
thinking about marriage and myfamily and the quality of life
that I wanted, like, I took thetime to do the work One month
(04:54):
y'all.
One month before meeting myhusband, I actually created a
vision board.
It at the top 2013 was going tobe my year to fall in love and
get married, and I went oldschool with it.
You know, I got the, the ebonymagazine and essence and I was
(05:16):
like yo, this is gonna be blacklove and like all this stuff.
But the last relationship thatI got out of, prior to like all
the stuff that I said I reallywanted, I had to reflect that
that person that I was withpreviously did not meet the
requirement, and so I knew if Ireally desired to be married, I
(05:36):
had to go into my nextrelationship with a level of
clarity, not convenience.
See, sometimes we focus so muchon a lot of vanity metrics that
you can really miss the personthat's actually destined for you
.
And so, yes, I wanted somebodyattractive.
My husband is fine, okay, let'sbe clear.
(05:57):
But that was only one, one ofthe many requirements.
I needed somebody who reallyunderstood my vision.
I met my husband at a verypivotal point in my life.
I really desired at the at thetime to be on television.
I desired to have my own talkshow, and when I met him, I kind
(06:21):
of laid out the vision of whatI desire to have.
Sometimes we go into the datingscene and you're like I don't
want to be too much, I don'twant to share too much, I don't
want to feel too desperate, andwe're like overthinking.
But what I realize is honestyis one of the best things that
you can bring to a first date.
We did old school courting,which seems so foreign to so
(06:45):
many people.
We literally talked on thephone every day, 12 hours, 18
hours, like literally put theworld on pause to make sure that
this was going to be solid, andwe didn't even actually go on
our first official date tocourting for a month.
I just want y'all to pause Likewe wouldn't.
We didn't meet online Like weactually met, met in person.
(07:06):
You know what I mean, spent thetime on the phone building
something solid, and then when Irealized, okay, this is a go,
this is worth my time, I'm goingto go all in on this, then
that's when we actually went ona date.
And I'm going to be honest,when you do all of that work, it
(07:27):
makes you a little bit nervouswhen you actually finally go on
that date and them first.
One to two dates was not themost amazing thing.
I'm pretty sure at some pointmy husband will be on the pod
and give his take on it as well.
But your girl had some bigexpectations.
Okay, I was looking for somecreativity on that date.
He gave me exactly what Iwanted.
Ladies, let me talk to you fora minute.
We got to stop setting thesemen up that's him in the
(07:50):
background.
We got to stop setting thesemen up for failure.
Okay, our list of what we wanton the list is so long that even
Jesus Christ of Nazarethcouldn't even fulfill your
desires, okay.
So we got to kind of come backto reality.
Now that I look at it in mymaturity, the date he planned
was quite exceptional, but I waslooking at other.
(08:10):
What other people, let's behonest, I was looking at what
other people were doing onInstagram and thought that's
what I needed, but the realityis, god knew what I needed and
he allowed me to meet somebodythat was going to give me
everything I needed and moreStuff I didn't even know that I
needed, and so I'm grateful thatI serve a God that is willing
(08:33):
to give me exceedingly,abundantly, above all, that I
could ask or think or evenimagine, even on my vision board
.
Let me be honest Some of thestuff that I put on the vision
board is stuff that I thought Iknew, but I'm so grateful that
I'm always willing to a creatorright, submitting your vision to
(09:09):
what the creator has createdfor you.
That is important.
You know, when I was makingthat vision board you know
putting them pictures on theposter board I realized that I
had to trust God in the process,that with my own knowledge and
wisdom, that really wasn't goingto be enough, because I'm only
looking at a couple months away,or six months or a year from
(09:32):
now, and God is looking at mywhole existence.
So I want you to kind of lookback at that list If you haven't
already started creating thatlong laundry list of
requirements that somebody hasto fulfill.
I want you to ask what's onthere that's actually a
necessity, like what's mynon-negotiables?
I think you got to go intorelationships.
Knowing what is is is dire, andI knew if I was going to be
(09:57):
that award-winning TV host, if Iwas going to be that
international motivationalspeaker, if I was going to be a
mother, I was going to have tomarry someone that was going to
be willing to help me, tosupport me, to encourage me, to
lift me up, because it was goingto be a lot of weight that I
(10:18):
was going to have to carry, notphysical weight, right, but like
the mental requirement that itwas actually going to take to be
successful to launch somethinglike this kind of a podcast, to
launch these platforms and thesecommunities for women to heal.
It takes support behind thescenes to be able to do that.
So I really want you to lock inon what's important to you,
(10:40):
what works for you.
Now some of y'all are watchingthis and you're like Jess, I'm
already like in a relationshipand that thing might not be
looking right.
I'm going to be honest with youEvery day in my marriage has
not looked right.
Every day has not looked like Iwant to keep fighting or I want
to do this.
There have been days where Iwanted to give up Right, like
(11:01):
society tells us it's easier tokind of try again and just try
again.
Society tells us it's easier tokind of try again and just try
again, but I decided that I madea commitment that I was going
to stick with.
Commitments are very importantto me, very vital, and when I
think about we'll talk aboutthis a little bit more later but
when I think about everythingthat I've experienced with my
daughter, I'm grateful that Icreated the life right with
(11:26):
somebody who was going tosupport me and not leave ship
when things got hard.
So we have to make the decision, as human, as women, as adults,
to do the hard work, and so weknow a lot of work is required
if we want to lose weight.
We know work is required.
We won't want to work our wayup the corporate ladder or
(11:49):
expand our business, but we gotto also do the work when it
comes to our relationships, tonot just get the person but keep
the person, our relationships,to not just get the person but
keep the person.
Uh, recently I was listening toanother podcast, a secret to
success podcast, where uh, cjand jamal were talking about
marriage bliss.
I'm gonna be honest, I didn'tgrow up in a household seeing
(12:11):
marriage.
I grew up with a single motherso I didn't even know bliss was
even the goal.
I've seen so many people likejust kind of struggling through
marriage just two people justcoexisting and when I heard that
, like it created a shift in mymindset and so I want you to
figure out, like what is thegoal you desire to have in the
relationships you're in?
Is it just two people trying tofigure out life or is it two
(12:36):
people trying to do somethingextraordinary and journey,
enjoying the journey throughoutthe entire experience, to really
be able to enjoy therelationships you're in?
That comes from intentionality,that comes from service.
So I really want you to justtake a moment and get clear on
what is important to you in thisseason of your life and let
(13:01):
that be known to the person thatyou love.
Let that be known to the personthat you desire to either spend
the rest of your life with orspend the next.
You know decade, two decadeswith you know all of this, but
you deserve love.
You know all of this, but youdeserve love.
(13:22):
So I don't want you to look atsome of the things from your
past, right, some of therelationships that might not
have ended up the way that youdesired them to go, and you
might be feeling like I havemessed up too many relationships
for somebody to love me.
That's not true.
That's not true.
I always tell women like youonly need one person.
So when people tell me like yo,the dating scene out here is
trash, there's nobody available,there could be a billion people
(13:47):
that are wrong for you, but ifyou find that one person that's
right for you, that one personthat's going to rock with you,
no matter if you ask your lowestof lows and your highest of
highs like that's why I'm sograteful that we didn't rush and
have children like andeverybody is different.
So I don't want you to hearthat and think like, oh man,
like we had children, you know,like what about us?
(14:08):
Like we're all different.
But I know for me, waiting tobe married eight years and then
having a child, when, when thechallenges that we experienced,
what our daughter came acrosslike that didn't shake us, that
didn't, that didn't sway us.
It actually brought us closertogether and so you want to be
able to do life with somebody.
When things get challenging,when things get hard, when
(14:28):
sickness and disease comes in,like that's why them vows, when
we say death do us part that youcan almost hear that and think
it's being a little bit dramatic.
And sickness and in health,something's going to happen to
you, like let's just be honest,something will happen to you,
your family, your kids, like wedon't know.
But you got to be able to dolife with somebody that's going
(14:51):
to encourage you, support you,be your biggest cheerleader.
And if you don't have that andyou're currently in a
relationship, then you need tohave that conversation with them
.
You got to have thatconversation.
Them tough conversations aresome of the best conversations.
We have to get over the fear ofman.
What if this person leaves me?
If I be honest with them, ifyou're honest and you share your
(15:14):
heart, and somebody isn'twilling to receive that, that's
not the best for you.
That's not the best for you.
So I want you to be honest.
I can, I can already tell as I,as I'm saying this there,
there's some of you right nowthat are like crying as I'm
saying this because you'rethinking about some things that
you haven't told yoursignificant other and some stuff
(15:36):
that you've been hiding andyou're hoping they're not gonna
find out.
It's time to tell them and ifyou are a person of faith, I
pray that you will pray prior sothat God will move upon your
heart so that you truly can getthe release that you deserve and
they can start embracing theirhealing journey.
Listen, so I know when I talkedearlier about that vision board
(15:58):
that I created, that I was ableto manifest my husband in one
month after creating it, I knowy'all was thinking, sis, I'm
gonna need all of them prompts,I need to figure out all of the
stuff you did to capture yourhusband's heart in a month.
Okay, let me know in thecomments like send me a DM If
you think that I should create avision board party, like
(16:21):
something we can do at the endof the year to really get our
vision clear so you can have therelationship of your dream bump
, that you can have the life ofyour dream, because you deserve
it.
So we have come to my favoritepart of the show, called the
healing moment, where we have anaction item related to the
(16:45):
topic, and this week's healingmoment is all about clarity I
want you to get clear, if you'resingle, on what you want in a
significant other, like, whatdoes that Prince Charming look
like for you?
Like what do they look like,not just physically, but how do
they move, how do they act,where do they work?
You know, who do they worship,like all of that stuff is really
(17:08):
, really important.
And then if you're alreadymarried you're already in a
solid relationship.
I need you to start askingyourself what do I need to
change?
Like what's working, what's notworking?
How many times a week do youwant to be going on a date?
How many times a month do youwant what do vacations look like
for you?
And really lock in on thatvision and don't let anybody
(17:33):
steal that vision away from you.
So this has been another amazingepisode of the Finally Healed
podcast with Jessica Lundy.
I hope this episode helped you,like I really hope it helped
heal some of the things that youmight not be even sharing with
(17:54):
anybody else.
Uh, if you enjoyed it, just putthat five star review.
Let us leave a comment right sothat we can engage with you to
answer some of the questionsthat you might have about
relationships.
And remember, at the end of theday, you got this.
I think you got to go into relationships knowing
what is dying, and I knew if Iwas going to be that
award-winning TV host, if I wasgoing to be that international
motivational speaker, if I wasgoing to be a mother, I was
going to have to marry someonethat was going to be willing to
help me, to support me, toencourage me, to lift me up,
(00:23):
because it was going to be a lotof weight that I was going to
have to carry Not physicalweight, right, but like the
mental requirement that it wasactually going to take to be
successful.
Welcome to Finally Healed withJessica Lundy podcast, where we
(00:54):
prioritize mental health,self-care and embracing our
healing journey together.
Now I need you to strap in forthis one, okay, because this
might get a little bitcontroversial.
This might step on some toes.
Um, this might make you reflecton some decisions you made in
(01:15):
the past that you might be like,ooh, I wish I didn't make them.
But I believe this episode hasthe ability to change your life
and, most importantly, changethe relationships you have with
the most important people inyour life.
Today we're talking all aboutrelationships and we're getting
(01:37):
real and we're getting raw andwe're getting honest.
Recently, I had a conversationwith some of the ladies that are
a part of my community and wewere just talking about, like,
what to look for in asignificant other, like what
works for you, what doesn't workfor you, and y'all it came up
(01:57):
about my viral clip.
So if you don't follow mepersonally on Instagram, make
sure you follow me at JessicaLundy TV.
But I had the amazingopportunity to be on the next
level living podcast where I wasasked about my husband and
y'all.
The clip went viral.
The video is so good.
(02:19):
Take a minute, just watch this.
So many people that are singlesay they want to be married.
But are you willing to submit?
Like there's this whole energyof self-made like I'm not
self-made, like I'm god made.
Come on right and then god putme in alignment with a spouse
who gets me.
Because I needed a help mate.
Like I knew that I was createdto serve at a high level and to
(02:41):
lead at a high level.
I needed a husband that washumble, that was willing to
support me in the ways that Ineeded to support.
He wasn't a photographer beforewe met.
What?
Oh, okay, he wasn't avideographer before we met.
We got married and in sixmonths I said hey look, I want
to have my own tv show.
I'm about to buy some equipment.
You think you can become mycreative director.
(03:04):
So then he had to put the workin to be what I needed and
essentially I called my husbanda helpmate and that made people
offended.
The craziest thing about thatoffending people is the whole
purpose of a relationship is forone person to submit to the
(03:27):
other person and the otherperson to submit to you see what
I'm saying?
Like relationship is supposedto be about you pouring love in
and the other person pouringlove in.
You serving, you being kind,you being loyal, you being
giving.
Like it is a sacrifice to be ina relationship.
The movies have lied to us.
(03:49):
It makes it seem likerelationships are easy, it makes
it seem like it's not that hardto have this perfect
relationship, but the reality isit takes work, it really takes
intentionality, and so todaywe're going to kind of dive into
some of the things we need tolook for in those relationships,
(04:09):
why sometimes you know we'reallowing outside voices, outside
influences, to affect ourrelationship.
So I just want to encourage youto just be open minded when you
think about what you need in ahelpmate.
So I have known since I was alittle kid probably about five
(04:33):
years old that I was going to bea star.
I knew that I was going to besuccessful.
I knew I was going to dosomething at a high level.
So, when it came to gettinginto a relationship and really
thinking about marriage and myfamily and the quality of life
that I wanted, like, I took thetime to do the work One month
(04:54):
y'all.
One month before meeting myhusband, I actually created a
vision board.
It at the top 2013 was going tobe my year to fall in love and
get married, and I went oldschool with it.
You know, I got the, the ebonymagazine and essence and I was
(05:16):
like yo, this is gonna be blacklove and like all this stuff.
But the last relationship thatI got out of, prior to like all
the stuff that I said I reallywanted, I had to reflect that
that person that I was withpreviously did not meet the
requirement, and so I knew if Ireally desired to be married, I
(05:36):
had to go into my nextrelationship with a level of
clarity, not convenience.
See, sometimes we focus so muchon a lot of vanity metrics that
you can really miss the personthat's actually destined for you
.
And so, yes, I wanted somebodyattractive.
My husband is fine, okay, let'sbe clear.
(05:57):
But that was only one, one ofthe many requirements.
I needed somebody who reallyunderstood my vision.
I met my husband at a verypivotal point in my life.
I really desired at the at thetime to be on television.
I desired to have my own talkshow, and when I met him, I kind
(06:21):
of laid out the vision of whatI desire to have.
Sometimes we go into the datingscene and you're like I don't
want to be too much, I don'twant to share too much, I don't
want to feel too desperate, andwe're like overthinking.
But what I realize is honestyis one of the best things that
you can bring to a first date.
We did old school courting,which seems so foreign to so
(06:45):
many people.
We literally talked on thephone every day, 12 hours, 18
hours, like literally put theworld on pause to make sure that
this was going to be solid, andwe didn't even actually go on
our first official date tocourting for a month.
I just want y'all to pause Likewe wouldn't.
We didn't meet online Like weactually met, met in person.
(07:06):
You know what I mean, spent thetime on the phone building
something solid, and then when Irealized, okay, this is a go,
this is worth my time, I'm goingto go all in on this, then
that's when we actually went ona date.
And I'm going to be honest,when you do all of that work, it
(07:27):
makes you a little bit nervouswhen you actually finally go on
that date and them first.
One to two dates was not themost amazing thing.
I'm pretty sure at some pointmy husband will be on the pod
and give his take on it as well.
But your girl had some bigexpectations.
Okay, I was looking for somecreativity on that date.
He gave me exactly what Iwanted.
Ladies, let me talk to you fora minute.
We got to stop setting thesemen up that's him in the
(07:50):
background.
We got to stop setting thesemen up for failure.
Okay, our list of what we wanton the list is so long that even
Jesus Christ of Nazarethcouldn't even fulfill your
desires, okay.
So we got to kind of come backto reality.
Now that I look at it in mymaturity, the date he planned
was quite exceptional, but I waslooking at other.
(08:10):
What other people, let's behonest, I was looking at what
other people were doing onInstagram and thought that's
what I needed, but the realityis, god knew what I needed and
he allowed me to meet somebodythat was going to give me
everything I needed and moreStuff I didn't even know that I
needed, and so I'm grateful thatI serve a God that is willing
(08:33):
to give me exceedingly,abundantly, above all, that I
could ask or think or evenimagine, even on my vision board
.
Let me be honest Some of thestuff that I put on the vision
board is stuff that I thought Iknew, but I'm so grateful that
I'm always willing to a creatorright, submitting your vision to
(09:09):
what the creator has createdfor you.
That is important.
You know, when I was makingthat vision board you know
putting them pictures on theposter board I realized that I
had to trust God in the process,that with my own knowledge and
wisdom, that really wasn't goingto be enough, because I'm only
looking at a couple months away,or six months or a year from
(09:32):
now, and God is looking at mywhole existence.
So I want you to kind of lookback at that list If you haven't
already started creating thatlong laundry list of
requirements that somebody hasto fulfill.
I want you to ask what's onthere that's actually a
necessity, like what's mynon-negotiables?
I think you got to go intorelationships.
Knowing what is is is dire, andI knew if I was going to be
(09:57):
that award-winning TV host, if Iwas going to be that
international motivationalspeaker, if I was going to be a
mother, I was going to have tomarry someone that was going to
be willing to help me, tosupport me, to encourage me, to
lift me up, because it was goingto be a lot of weight that I
(10:18):
was going to have to carry, notphysical weight, right, but like
the mental requirement that itwas actually going to take to be
successful to launch somethinglike this kind of a podcast, to
launch these platforms and thesecommunities for women to heal.
It takes support behind thescenes to be able to do that.
So I really want you to lock inon what's important to you,
(10:40):
what works for you.
Now some of y'all are watchingthis and you're like Jess, I'm
already like in a relationshipand that thing might not be
looking right.
I'm going to be honest with youEvery day in my marriage has
not looked right.
Every day has not looked like Iwant to keep fighting or I want
to do this.
There have been days where Iwanted to give up Right, like
(11:01):
society tells us it's easier tokind of try again and just try
again.
Society tells us it's easier tokind of try again and just try
again, but I decided that I madea commitment that I was going
to stick with.
Commitments are very importantto me, very vital, and when I
think about we'll talk aboutthis a little bit more later but
when I think about everythingthat I've experienced with my
daughter, I'm grateful that Icreated the life right with
(11:26):
somebody who was going tosupport me and not leave ship
when things got hard.
So we have to make the decision, as human, as women, as adults,
to do the hard work, and so weknow a lot of work is required
if we want to lose weight.
We know work is required.
We won't want to work our wayup the corporate ladder or
(11:49):
expand our business, but we gotto also do the work when it
comes to our relationships, tonot just get the person but keep
the person, our relationships,to not just get the person but
keep the person.
Uh, recently I was listening toanother podcast, a secret to
success podcast, where uh, cjand jamal were talking about
marriage bliss.
I'm gonna be honest, I didn'tgrow up in a household seeing
(12:11):
marriage.
I grew up with a single motherso I didn't even know bliss was
even the goal.
I've seen so many people likejust kind of struggling through
marriage just two people justcoexisting and when I heard that
, like it created a shift in mymindset and so I want you to
figure out, like what is thegoal you desire to have in the
relationships you're in?
Is it just two people trying tofigure out life or is it two
(12:36):
people trying to do somethingextraordinary and journey,
enjoying the journey throughoutthe entire experience, to really
be able to enjoy therelationships you're in?
That comes from intentionality,that comes from service.
So I really want you to justtake a moment and get clear on
what is important to you in thisseason of your life and let
(13:01):
that be known to the person thatyou love.
Let that be known to the personthat you desire to either spend
the rest of your life with orspend the next.
You know decade, two decadeswith you know all of this, but
you deserve love.
You know all of this, but youdeserve love.
(13:22):
So I don't want you to look atsome of the things from your
past, right, some of therelationships that might not
have ended up the way that youdesired them to go, and you
might be feeling like I havemessed up too many relationships
for somebody to love me.
That's not true.
That's not true.
I always tell women like youonly need one person.
So when people tell me like yo,the dating scene out here is
trash, there's nobody available,there could be a billion people
(13:47):
that are wrong for you, but ifyou find that one person that's
right for you, that one personthat's going to rock with you,
no matter if you ask your lowestof lows and your highest of
highs like that's why I'm sograteful that we didn't rush and
have children like andeverybody is different.
So I don't want you to hearthat and think like, oh man,
like we had children, you know,like what about us?
(14:08):
Like we're all different.
But I know for me, waiting tobe married eight years and then
having a child, when, when thechallenges that we experienced,
what our daughter came acrosslike that didn't shake us, that
didn't, that didn't sway us.
It actually brought us closertogether and so you want to be
able to do life with somebody.
When things get challenging,when things get hard, when
(14:28):
sickness and disease comes in,like that's why them vows, when
we say death do us part that youcan almost hear that and think
it's being a little bit dramatic.
And sickness and in health,something's going to happen to
you, like let's just be honest,something will happen to you,
your family, your kids, like wedon't know.
But you got to be able to dolife with somebody that's going
(14:51):
to encourage you, support you,be your biggest cheerleader.
And if you don't have that andyou're currently in a
relationship, then you need tohave that conversation with them
.
You got to have thatconversation.
Them tough conversations aresome of the best conversations.
We have to get over the fear ofman.
What if this person leaves me?
If I be honest with them, ifyou're honest and you share your
(15:14):
heart, and somebody isn'twilling to receive that, that's
not the best for you.
That's not the best for you.
So I want you to be honest.
I can, I can already tell as I,as I'm saying this there,
there's some of you right nowthat are like crying as I'm
saying this because you'rethinking about some things that
you haven't told yoursignificant other and some stuff
(15:36):
that you've been hiding andyou're hoping they're not gonna
find out.
It's time to tell them and ifyou are a person of faith, I
pray that you will pray prior sothat God will move upon your
heart so that you truly can getthe release that you deserve and
they can start embracing theirhealing journey.
Listen, so I know when I talkedearlier about that vision board
(15:58):
that I created, that I was ableto manifest my husband in one
month after creating it, I knowy'all was thinking, sis, I'm
gonna need all of them prompts,I need to figure out all of the
stuff you did to capture yourhusband's heart in a month.
Okay, let me know in thecomments like send me a DM If
you think that I should create avision board party, like
(16:21):
something we can do at the endof the year to really get our
vision clear so you can have therelationship of your dream bump
, that you can have the life ofyour dream, because you deserve
it.
So we have come to my favoritepart of the show, called the
healing moment, where we have anaction item related to the
(16:45):
topic, and this week's healingmoment is all about clarity I
want you to get clear, if you'resingle, on what you want in a
significant other, like, whatdoes that Prince Charming look
like for you?
Like what do they look like,not just physically, but how do
they move, how do they act,where do they work?
You know, who do they worship,like all of that stuff is really
(17:08):
, really important.
And then if you're alreadymarried you're already in a
solid relationship.
I need you to start askingyourself what do I need to
change?
Like what's working, what's notworking?
How many times a week do youwant to be going on a date?
How many times a month do youwant what do vacations look like
for you?
And really lock in on thatvision and don't let anybody
(17:33):
steal that vision away from you.
So this has been another amazingepisode of the Finally Healed
podcast with Jessica Lundy.
I hope this episode helped you,like I really hope it helped
heal some of the things that youmight not be even sharing with
(17:54):
anybody else.
Uh, if you enjoyed it, just putthat five star review.
Let us leave a comment right sothat we can engage with you to
answer some of the questionsthat you might have about
relationships.
And remember, at the end of theday, you got this.
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