May 18, 2024 • 53 mins
Homeschooling isn't just a pastoral dream; it thrives amidst the urban jungle of Hartford, Connecticut, too. Chai joins me, Cheryl, to weave her tale of teaching her kids outside the conventional classroom. Together, we debunk the myth that you need a backyard chicken coop to successfully educate your children at home, and instead, we champion the power of intentionality and the treasure troves of community resources like libraries and museums.
We often hear about the rigidity of school bells and schedules, but what if learning could dance to the rhythm of a child's innate curiosity? Our conversation illuminates the homeschooling landscape where play and spontaneity are as integral to learning as literacy and math. We're not shying away from traditional schools either; we discuss the strategic chess move that is transitioning back to formal education when it best suits a child's journey, proving that education is not a one-way street.
Navigating the homeschooling waters can be tricky, but I'm throwing you a lifeline in our latest episode. Whether you're a seasoned homeschooler or just considering the plunge, join us for an honest look at the flexibility, challenges, and profound rewards that come with taking the helm of your child's education.
The Tuttle Twins - use code Cheryl40 for 40% off ages 5-11 book series
JIBBY MUSHROOM COFFEE - try today with code CHERYL20 for 20% off!
Earthley Wellness - use code HomeschoolHowTo for 10% off your first order
TreehouseSchoolhouse for your Spring Nature Study Curriculum- use promo code: THEHOMESCHOOLHOWTOPODCAST for 10% off entire order
Please leave a Review for me HERE!
PLEASE SHARE the show with this link! Grab your shirt- Be The Role Model Your Government Fears HERE!
Help support the show! PayPal, Venmo, Zelle (thehomeschoolhowto@gmail.com),
Buy Me A Coffee or Ko-Fi (no fee!)
Instagram: TheHomeschoolHowToPodcast
Facebook: The Homeschool How To Podcast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
How-To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why are people homeschooling,how do you do it, how does it
differ from region to region,and should I homeschool my kids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these
(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome With us.
Today we have Chai.
How are you?
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I am doing well.
I'm excited to be here.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
What state are you in ?
I know you're on the East Coast.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I am.
I'm in Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh, nice.
Okay, I'm in upstate New York,so not too far.
So I asked you to come on tothe podcast today because I have
received feedback fromlisteners or people that follow
on Instagram sayinghomeschooling sure, that's great
for the people that live in thecountry or the people that even
(01:08):
live in the suburbs, but it'snot possible in urban areas and
it's you know.
And it's interesting because acouple weeks ago I had Manisha
on who.
She doesn't have kids, shedoesn't have kids, she doesn't
homeschool.
But she was a substituteteacher in the school system and
realized that you know thatthere are so many things lacking
(01:31):
.
So what she actually did wastook her efforts into and
actually she saw that in theBronx in New.
York City.
There was a huge homeschoolinglike explosion down there.
So that's kind of what she wentinto is how can we work with
this in the more urban areas andin the cities?
So she had a lot of helpfultips.
(01:52):
And then I had Dahlia on acouple of weeks ago.
She is the president ofChickenlandia, so she is our
chicken expert and her big pushwas like getting chickens to
people that live in cities andyou know kind of like how you
can do that, how you could workwith your.
You know the people in yourbuilding to all have like a one
sort of central location and youall take turns taking care of
(02:15):
the chickens and you knowbenefiting from the eggs and
that stuff.
So I asked you to come on todayto kind of give me your
perspective and howhomeschooling works for you and
your family, because you're inmore of an urban area, correct?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yes, yes.
So when I first startedhomeschooling, we actually lived
in the heart of Hartford.
We lived on the north side,which is a very urban area.
I'm talking, like you know.
We heard a lot outside of ourdoor and outside of our windows.
It was not a very pleasant orpretty place.
(02:52):
As far as you know, when youthink of homeschooling, you do
think of someone living out inthe country or having a farm and
lots of land Our neighbors.
I mean, we could hear eachother.
If someone shouted, you couldhear it, but I still knew that I
would prefer to homeschool mykids and to send them out into
the public school system,because that's just my take on
(03:16):
it.
I feel like my kids are myresponsibility and I want to
know that the person that isaround them eight, nine hours a
day although for me it's 24-7.
But I wanted to know that theperson that is spending the most
amount of their awake hours wasspeaking kindly to them and
having patience with them andloving on them and teaching them
in a way that benefits themmost, realizing that in the
(03:39):
urban area there are classroomsthat are overpopulated and
understaffed and that funding isa big issue.
With much respect to allparents who send their kids to
school.
I just decided that was not forus, and my husband and I had
many conversations about itbefore my daughter was even of
(04:00):
school age.
So what we then started to dowas teaching her.
You know, I would just teachher at home at her pace, because
I started when she was, youknow, two and a half, three
years old with like the alphabetand things like that.
So it was not very structuredat the time, but I was
intentional to do things liketake her to the library, which
(04:22):
you know you can get a librarycard for free.
I was careful not only becauseI was in an urban area Right now
we live in another part ofConnecticut, but it's still
urban, it's not the inner citybut I was intentional with how I
did homeschool, because moneywas a big factor for us and you
(04:47):
know I didn't have the libertyat the time to be home all day
with the kids.
So I drove a school bus and Iwould go out and do a route.
You know five in the morning Iwas already on the road and I'd
be home by eight and then dosome schooling with her and go
back out in the afternoon.
But as far as getting her tosocialize, it was whatever was
free.
So playgrounds, the librariesin the area, the science center,
(05:12):
whatever that I could get fromthe library which you know.
If no one knows, from thelibrary you can get free passes
to museums within Connecticut.
So you just go check out a passand you use it to take your kid
for free to the museum.
So she did get a lot ofexposure to educational centers
and things like that.
That helped me to also keep herengaged.
(05:35):
But then at the same time itdidn't cost anything and I think
that that's one of the biggestfears that in urban areas there
are, you know, understandingthat there are low-income
families and there's a lot ofpoverty and people look at
homeschooling and think you haveto be very wealthy to be able
to afford to lose an income, andthat's not the case.
(05:55):
You know, we just lived farbeneath our means.
That was a sacrifice that wechose to make and we've made it
work.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Yeah, and how do you have?
How many children do you haveNow?
I?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
have three, three, yeah.
And how do you have?
How many children do you have?
Now?
I have three, three, yeah, somy daughter is seven.
Yeah, so there's seven, fiveand three.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So when you went to drive the school bus, was your
husband home to like you couldkind of finagle your work
schedule?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yes, yes, so my husband is a minister, he's a
pastor, so we've always beenable to work our schedule so
that if, at the time when I wasdriving the school bus, he would
be home with the kids, and youknow, while I was driving he'd
do breakfast and whatnot, andthen in the afternoon when I
went out again, he would dotheir nap time and he would work
(06:37):
in between those hours.
Now we have changed thingsaround because, you know, now,
having three kids at the timethat was just one kid it was a
little easier for him to for usto work the schedule that way.
Now I am home full time withthe kids and he's actually the
one that took on an additionaljob so that I could be home.
We do have with his line ofwork because he's able to have
(07:08):
his own schedule and and workhis schedule in a way that he
can also take on an additionaljob and still be home when he
needs to be home, yeah and uh.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean there are so many.
Especially right now.
There's so many options forjobs because every place seems
to be hiring.
So it's like if you have a jobthat maybe you have to go in the
office and that's not conduciveto a homeschooling schedule,
there might be a similar job outthere with a different company,
that is, a work from home ormaybe a hybrid situation, like
(07:37):
you said.
I hadn't really thought aboutthat, but how much closer are
you to libraries and playgroundsthat you can just hop in the
car and go to or walk to?
Because for me I am, I'm inupstate New York, but it's still
45 minutes to anything really.
So yesterday we went to aplayground and it's a 40 minute
(08:01):
drive there and then a 40 minutedrive home.
So I mean there are a lot ofbenefits to kind of
homeschooling in the urban areasand you have a lot more people
around you.
So getting together for a playdate, especially as the kids get
older, where they're kind ofmaking friends at the playground
like, hey mom, I want to hangout with that person again.
You know you are in closerproximity and not all the time,
(08:25):
but it does make it easier thanokay, well, let's get all the
kids in the car and drive you toyour friend's house.
It's like, well, if I can justwalk you two doors down, that's
really nice.
So how do your children likebeing homeschooled, do they?
They must see kids get on thebus.
I mean they you were a busdriver, so they know that that's
(08:45):
a thing Do they feel likethey're missing out on anything.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
For the most part, they really enjoy homeschool
because I have the way I see it.
I think that kids learn so muchthrough play and, although we
do have our curriculum, we usethe good and the beautiful.
We do sit and do the work.
I can also see when my kidsneed a break and they know
(09:10):
already.
You know, they'll just say, mom, can I take a break?
And you know, granted, I don'tlet them abuse it.
I can tell when it's like youjust had one two minutes ago.
But I also am very mindful thatkids need playtime, so I'll let
them.
Okay, let's take a break, let'scolor, let's oh, you look like
you're falling asleep let's dosome jumping jacks, let's put
out, you know, let's do aworkout video.
(09:30):
So there, I've had theconversation with them,
especially my daughter, who isseven and she's she's a people
person, she is a socialbutterfly and she loves to be
around people and having friendswho are in a different school
setting.
You know, she has asked me, youknow how come I don't go to
school like they go to school?
(09:51):
And I've expressed to her youknow well, this is what your day
looks like, because when you'rein something it's hard to you
know, you don't really know theblessings or the benefit of what
you have, unless you, you know,compare it to something else.
So I've expressed to her.
I said you know, you know, yeah, there are a lot more students
and a lot more kids in a, youknow, public school setting, for
(10:13):
example.
I said, but, and I sat her down.
I said this is what your daylooks like.
You're up at this time, youknow, we get ready for the day,
we have breakfast, we do ourBible study, we get our day
started and I'm like you're donewith school by like 11 am.
You have lunch, we do lunchtogether and then you go play
with your brothers or you guysplay outside when it's warm
(10:36):
enough, and that's like that'syour day.
All your responsibilities aredone.
Now the day is yours to play.
And I said a lot of kids,unfortunately, you know, in the
school system.
You know they have to be at thebus stop at 6am, 6.30am, and
you know they go to school.
They have breakfast in school,they have lunch in school.
(10:56):
I said by the time your littlebrother's taking his afternoon
nap and you know he's droolingaway in his room.
They're still in school.
And you know I said some kidsaren't getting home in the
winter until the sun goes downand I'm like, and by then you've
gotten a bath and you'recoloring and ready for bed and
you know they're just gettinginto the home.
And it's not to diminish whathappens in other families, but
(11:17):
to help her.
See, this is why daddy andmommy made the decision we made.
We have also had theconversation that you know, in
the future, are we going tohomeschool all the way through
high school or are we gonna, youknow, talk about it again in
middle school and again in highschool?
So she, she loves that and youknow, and they tell me, like my
son tells me, like you're thebest teacher in the world.
(11:38):
I'm like I'm the only teacheryou've ever known.
But, thank you, I'll take it.
But you know, I've been veryclear with them also as to why
we do homeschooling.
You know I said, you know mommyand daddy really want to make
sure that you guys get tothoroughly enjoy your childhood
and that nothing comes in theway of you being, you know, just
an innocent child that has, youknow, is living childhood to
(12:00):
the max.
So they definitely see theblessing of it and they're
enjoying it.
I'm making sure that they'reenjoying it, because, I mean,
there's no time like right nowfor them.
You know, they're going to growup soon enough and they're
going to have bills and taxesand and all these
responsibilities, and I justthink that childhood is so
precious and it needs to becherished and valued, and that's
(12:22):
what we're trying to give them.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, and it's important to think, like you
were saying we'll revisit theconversation for middle school
and for high school at what'sbest for everybody at that time.
I think people think if they gointo homeschooling and then
their child goes intotraditional school that they
have failed at homeschooling,and it's definitely not the case
(12:45):
at all.
It's just you're doing what isbest for everybody at the time
and you don't want that child toresent you for never allowing
them, you know, and not to say,if it's very strong in your
values that they don't go, thenyeah, you have that conversation
.
But if you're okay with themgoing and they want to go, it's,
(13:05):
it's not a failure, it's morelife experience, you know, and
whether they decide to come backafter that and appreciate it
even more.
You know.
So, uh, I really a coupleparents I've had on have talked
about how, oh well, my daughterwent into traditional school but
my sons are still homeschooled.
And, you know, I think thatthat's really cool and that you
(13:26):
have to take that pressure offyour shoulders, for, okay, this
is the way that it has to be,for you know, the whole time,
because a lot of parents don'teven want to start it because
they're like, oh, I want them togo to prom, you know, I want
them to be able to have, uh, beon the football team or
something.
But it's like, well, if they'rejust in elementary school, just
(13:46):
say, let's try it forkindergarten and then see how
that goes.
Or let's try it for elementaryschool and see how that goes.
And I, I've been so surprised athow many things we are still
able to do, even though in NewYork we cannot participate in,
like school sports, uh, becauseof um.
(14:08):
You know, if you're notenrolled you can't so, but there
are still so many things.
Like, for instance, my son didwrestling and it was with the
school, but because it was at athird party location, he was
able to just join in with thatUm mountain biking group, swim
lessons.
Baseball is a community thing.
(14:28):
That's not at the at theelementary level.
That's just a community thing,not a school thing.
Um, soccer, there's so manythings you know he could have
done hockey or whatnot.
So, yeah, there's a lot.
I think, parents it's.
It's when you're in it youstart to see how many
opportunities are actually outthere.
And what about, like co-ops inyour area?
(14:51):
Do you find that there are alot of opportunity for that,
whether you choose to do them ornot, Just being in an urban
area there are a lot of co-ops.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Interestingly enough, we actually had started a
homeschool academy out of ourchurch two and a half years ago
and we did it for two years.
But it was all kind of at themercy, for lack of a better word
, of how many people werewilling to participate in it
mercy, for lack of a better word, of how many people were
(15:25):
willing to participate in it.
When we learned that, you know,because it is it's not, I
understand that it is notsomething that is very easy for
every family.
Some of the families came inand just attempted it and it was
like you know, we're going tosee how this goes.
And then, you know, at the endof the year it was like this
didn't work out for our family,it didn't work out for our work
schedules, and you know theydidn't return and that's fine.
(15:50):
And then, you know, we had somestudents that were going to move
away and at the start of thisyear I was asked hey, are you
going to continue?
And I felt like I kind of hadto weigh the pros and cons
because I was actually theteacher.
I was the teacher in theclassroom with various families
and teaching, you know, severalstudents and I decided not to go
back and try it again foranother year, because it does
(16:11):
take full commitment fromeveryone and if it's not working
for everyone, I had to reach adecision where it was like, ok,
I need to give my kids myundivided attention again.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
You guys know I am a big fan of the Tuttle Twins and
their book series, and it lookslike you're enjoying them too.
Out of all of the brands that Iaffiliated with for my podcast,
the Tuttle Twins is the mostpopular.
If you haven't checked it out,click on the link in my show's
description and give their sitea visit.
These books teach us real lifeprinciples in a way that kids
can understand and, let's faceit, that I can understand, so
(16:46):
you will too.
Your kids will be learningthings like why a free market
economy is the best way to liftpeople out of poverty.
How property rights allow us todecide what's best for us and
make decisions for our family.
Why the world is a better placebecause of entrepreneurs who
create businesses to help servetheir fellow neighbors.
What socialism is and why it'sso destructive to our freedoms
(17:07):
and wellbeing.
How the golden rule, which istreat others how you'd like to
be treated, is so important topeople getting along with one
another, no matter where we live, what we look like or what we
believe.
Their book education vacationis all about homeschooling and
what a value that that can be.
Their books go over laws, whywe have them and what the role
of government is supposed to be,instead of what it is.
(17:29):
Grab the link in my show'sdescription and use code
Cheryl40, that's C-H-E-R-Y-L-4-0, for 40% off books in the age 5
through 11 series.
You can grab the link in myshow's description.
There will also be links therefor Jibby Coffee delicious
lattes powered by your dailydose of functional mushrooms,
organic adaptogens and collagenprotein, which is just a nice
(17:52):
way to say it'll improve yourenergy, reduce fatigue, nourish
your hair, skin and nails andsupport healthy digestion.
You can use code Cheryl20 for20% off of Jibby Coffee.
I also have links to EarthlyWellness, which are clean,
natural and affordable healthand wellness products.
You can use code HomeschoolHowTofor 10% off of your first order
, and I also urge you to checkout Treehouse Schoolhouse.
(18:15):
They have a nature studysupplemental curriculum and,
given that springtime is nowupon us, this is a perfect time
to check out their springtimenature study and really become
one with nature.
Let's learn what's going onaround us.
I can't wait to do that onewith my kids.
So head on over to the show'sdescription and grab these links
.
Don't forget to use the code toget your discount.
(18:36):
Or head on over to thehomeschoolhowtocom under
listener discounts Thanks forchecking out the show today.
Discounts Thanks for checkingout the show today.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
So that's why I'm home now with the kids.
But as far as co-ops not reallyin this area I know there's a
lot of interest.
That's the interesting part,you know, as I'm on social media
and when I, you know, meet momsat the park or whatever,
there's so much interest.
But I know also that there isthis fear, of which I felt it
(19:05):
before we started.
It was like, you know, it seemsso overwhelming, it seems like
so much and a lot of people like, oh God bless you, how do you
do it?
And I'm like, I'm just likehanging out with my kids, you
know, like I sit them down, likeI do when you want your kids to
do something.
It's like, hey, have a seat,please do this.
I mean the same as withhomeschooling.
I sometimes I have to redirectthem and I understand that is
(19:26):
overwhelming.
But as far as like co-ops, it'slike I feel like there are more,
there's much more interest thanthere is a let's just leap,
let's just give it a leap offaith and try.
But at the same time Iunderstand the fear because,
like I mentioned earlier, thereis, you know, in this area it's,
you know, families where bothparents are working, it's two
(19:47):
income homes or it's a singlemom.
You know, I know a lot of singlemoms that are working one and
two jobs and grandparents arehelping to babysit the kids in
between, you know, after schoolor before school.
So there isn't a lot of, atleast not I know, in other parts
of Connecticut.
I've met moms online where it'slike, oh, you know, we're down
in Greenwich, we have a wholeteam here, and it's like, yeah,
(20:10):
but that's different.
It's Connecticut, but it's sodifferent from Hartford and New
Britain and East Hartford,manchester.
It's so different from overhere, where there are a lot of
working families and not manystay-at-home moms that are able
to, or stay-at-home dads thatare able to be with the kids for
the hours that they need to behomeschooled and then watched
(20:31):
after, because you canhomeschool the kids and then you
have to go to work, but thenwho's going to watch the kids
because they're not in school.
So it is figuring it out and Ihave not seen a lot of that in
this area.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, so have you seen that kids are homeschooled
but it's more just like jugglingthe schedule, that they don't
have the free time to also getto a co-op.
Or do you think that there arepeople that want to homeschool?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
They disagree so much with the agenda of the public
school system with theindividual agendas of teachers
and parents are, you know, veryagainst it, but they kind of
(21:15):
feel like they have no otherchoice.
There are parents that evenwish they would desire to even
just afford private school,because you know it's almost
like we still can't lose anincome but at least the kids are
in private school.
Because you know it's almostlike we still can't lose an
income but at least the kids arein private school.
But that's also not an option.
So I have heard a lot of umdesire for a difference, you
know, to put their kids in adifferent type of setting.
(21:36):
But then, you know, a lot offamilies do feel tied down by
the needs, the financial needs,that they have.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, and that is another thing that people have
reached out to me for sayinglike, well, we work and you know
, uh, it, it, it's just notfeasible.
So I had reached out to people,to working moms.
I think it was in the same postthat I I had talked to you and
saying, like I'm looking forpeople to cover these topics,
who has this sort of expertise?
(22:03):
And I did uh have um aninterview with a woman a couple
of days ago who worked out ofthe home.
Um, she, she, she worked forthe railroad, and so did her
husband, and she had her motherwatching her kids on the hours
that she was working.
But the mother was notnecessarily doing any sort of
(22:25):
homeschooling with them.
It was more just like becausethe kids were too young to be on
their own.
Then when she came home fromher 12 hour shift, she would do
schoolwork with them, get dinneron the table and then go to bed
and, um, you know, kind of runthat cycle.
But working 12 hours you'reonly working three or four days
a week, so if she didn't get toit on one of the days that she
(22:48):
was working, she would just do alittle bit more on the four
days that she had off, and sothat was kind of an interesting
take as well, and how we canmanipulate our schedules to work
.
Or she, her and her husbandended up working the same shifts
, but if they were opposite,that probably would have been
easier as well.
(23:08):
And I was kind of talking to herabout people don't realize that
they can utilize otherhomeschooling families, either
another mom who is leaving herjob to stay home but looking for
extra money and maybe for youknow if you had three kids that
you wanted to go there for maybea discounted rate they could
(23:29):
watch your kids while theyhomeschool their kids, and
whether they're part of thehomeschool process for your kids
or just a place where they weresupervised you know that's
always an option or evenhomeschooling kids that are
teenagers, I know sometimes,like they're done with, they do
their work more independently.
They're done with it earlier onin the day or they can do it in
(23:50):
the evening or on weekends sothey are available to watch kids
, and whether it's a internshiptype thing or a paid deal, I
know a lot of times thehomeschoolers also take a gap
year before they decide whatthey want to do.
If college is the route or somesort of missionary trip or, you
know, get right into working.
(24:12):
So there are a lot of thingsout there.
I think it's just getting kindof creative and reaching out to
people in your community andseeing what is available and
kind of just thinking outsidethe box.
I know I try to get like myin-laws watch the kids for four
hours a week so I can record forthe podcast and try to get some
editing done.
And I've tried to send myfive-year-old with like
(24:35):
schoolwork just simple math, thegood and the beautiful math and
oh my gosh it doesn't get done.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
They're like he didn't want to listen and that
was it.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
And I'm like, yeah, that was, that was the extent.
Yeah, okay, I'll have to askyou this too.
Okay, I've had people say to meI mean, we've already kind of
discussed it, but people say tome like, oh well, you're
privileged, that's the onlyreason that you can homeschool.
And, like you said earlier,we've made sacrifices, like I'm
leaving a 16 year career withthe government where I was
(25:07):
supposed to get.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I climbed the ladder through civil service exams and
you know, interviewing and allthat stuff.
I'm, you know I'm leaving agood paycheck that and then a
pension, that I thought.
I was going to get inretirement and health insurance
to make the sacrifice.
And with that, in addition, Ilook at the poorest countries in
(25:32):
the world and I think well,they don't send their kids to
daycare while the moms go off tolike the corporate world.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Right, right, no, it's.
I think it's that thatassumption that it's privilege.
I can see where you know, wherecertain families, that could be
the possibility, but as far asmy family that is not the case.
It's not privilege, it issacrifice, like I mentioned, and
(26:01):
it is thinking outside the box.
Like you said, our experiencehas not been that it is
privilege.
We did have to think outsidethe box and, like I mentioned
earlier, it's definitely beenmore about sacrifice than
privilege.
I've always been just a littlebit as far as like nails and
(26:23):
hair and things like that.
I do all of that at home andyou know, in talking to I have
friends that go like every weekto get their nails done,
pedicure, hair done every twoweeks and things like that.
I learned how to do all of thatfor myself very early on
because I've just I have a veryhard time spending money on
myself.
(26:43):
It's just, that's a personalthing.
But even when we were talkingabout the sacrifices that we
would make, you know I could be.
I had a job where you know,when I went to leave my job, not
for this but, uh, for myhusband to finish his school, we
were moving to Massachusetts Um, I went to leave this job and I
was, uh, a receptionist and anadministrative assistant for the
(27:05):
HR team and and I was slowlylike working my way up and I had
established so many connections.
And when I went to leave thatjob, you know my boss called me
in and he's like hey, we'rewilling to offer you 15,000 more
a year If you take.
You know, we want a promotion,we want to give you this
promotion.
And I was like, you know, Iknew what in our situation, I
(27:25):
knew what I had to do.
I had to follow my husband andbe with him and I was like, no,
I'm going to go, as great asthat sounds.
And you know he called me backinto another meeting and he's
like, okay, fine, you know wedon't want you to leave or we're
willing to offer you 25K on top.
And you know, take, you knowwe're going to, you know the
401k and all of these things.
(27:45):
But I knew, I always knew thatGod was kind of gearing me a
different way and my husband andI had very different plans and
I knew I wasn't going to beclimbing that corporate ladder,
even though I was there at thetime and so many doors opened at
(28:05):
the time.
So I do know what it could befor us financially, but at the
same time I just wouldn't tradeit.
So privilege is not the casehere.
Like I said, you know, I've gotmy nails done gel, and I did it
here last night.
I have the little UV light fromAmazon.
(28:27):
I do my nails, I do my hair athome, my eyebrows, everything.
You know.
I've got the little lash kitswhen we're going to have an
event and I glue them on myself.
These are things that if I wereworking, you know, if I were to
look at it like no, I need tokeep my job to do these things
for myself because I'm used tothis, then, yeah, that would be,
I guess, a different privilege.
(28:49):
But I think sometimes peoplelook at my family and we do look
pretty well put together andit's like, no, listen, there's
such thing as Facebookmarketplace, there's thrift
shops, there's.
You know, if you are willing to, like you said earlier, think
outside the box and to me, likeI do, look at it almost like one
great big box as far as likewhat we're taught in school,
(29:12):
like it has to be this way.
You know, you come here and youlearn how to sit still for
eight hours a day and then yougo to work and you sit still for
eight hours a day and you, youknow it's all one great big box
and one day you have to look atit and be like I'm going to get
outside of this big box and dothings differently and guess
what?
There's a whole world out thereand it's possible, but you do
have to get creative with it.
(29:33):
So no, it's not privileged LikeI, just I'm watching.
My husband just went to work forhis afternoon route and he took
my daughter.
That's something that we alsodo for the kids to be able to
socialize a bit and get out ofthe house.
So he'll alternate with who hetakes with him on the route,
(29:55):
because now he's driving aschool bus, so in the morning
that's way too early to wakethem up, but in the afternoons,
you know, they're so excitedlike they're fighting over who
can go with daddy.
So it's definitely notprivilege.
I think it's sacrifice on bothparts, and you know, for me it's
being here and and being withthe kids and and being a lot
(30:17):
more hands on.
And then my husband's sacrificehas been really big too,
because you know he's, he'sworking and ministering and he's
a pastor and he gives so muchof himself for that, but then
also taking on an additional jobbecause he believes in this as
much as I do, and he's willingto sacrifice for the family.
(30:38):
And he's so exhausted, he's sotired, but it's a sacrifice.
We make different sacrificesfor the sake of the kids.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yes, and when you think of like, for instance,
when I was at the, and when youthink of like, for instance,
when I was at the park yesterday, the 40 minute away park, but
but it was kind of cool becauseit was part of a play group
actually.
So not a co-op but a play group, and that's another option for
people to look in as well.
If you don't want to like dothe organization of a co-op, are
there play groups in the areathat meet up like one day a week
(31:09):
and this one likes to go todifferent places.
So if it's somewhere you knownot too far, I'll go, and it was
just like the first beautifulday in a long time and you know
the northeast yesterday and I'mwatching the kids and seeing
like my 15 no, she's 18 monthsum, just do different things for
the first time, like maybe atwisty slide, and like really
(31:33):
falling in love with that and myson do have they had the zip
line thing and it was like I waslike, oh my gosh, I spent 16
years in a cubicle after, likeyou said, you spend all of
school behind cement walls andwalls and grooming you basically
to think that being in acubicle is okay.
(31:55):
And I'm like I would be missingthis if something didn't hit me
over the head and make merealize like there's more to
life.
And yes, they dangle thosecarrots like pensions and raises
and health insurance eventhough it's probably sick
insurance Right.
(32:15):
And it's like for what?
For the almighty dollar thatdoesn't have any gold backing it
right now.
The Federal Reserve determineswhat it's worth from day to day.
We don't know that that moneywill be guaranteed when we are
ready to retire, and it's like.
It's like could you live yourlife and then, at 55 or 65 years
(32:39):
old, go to retire?
And if everything were wipedout at that point because, oh,
the dollar crashed or oh, therewas a bad investment made, your
pension's no longer there, your401k is gone, how would you feel
about the last 30 years thatyou spent and what you
sacrificed for that?
That is no longer there.
At least we know our kids arehere today and we're impacting
(33:02):
their life every day.
And I mean, I feel bad even whenI am working on editing for the
podcast or whatnot, because itdoesn't really bring in any
money, but I also try to thinkof it as when my kids see me
doing a hobby, like a passion,something creative, and you know
I try to like let them in onwhat I can, because I grew up
(33:23):
for so long, probably into mylate 30s thinking like, what do
you do with free time anyway?
Into my late thirties thinkinglike, what do you do with free
time anyway?
You know we're we're soregimented to to be like you
have to be here at this hour forthis many hours, and it doesn't
matter if you're sitting therestaring at a wall, that's where
you have to be for that amountof time.
And then you have to be to thispractice, and then you have to
(33:45):
be to sit here for dinner and goto bed, and everything is so
structured with, um, you knowdifferent things all the way
through, uh, till you're yougraduate, graduate college even
and then you're like, oh, I haveto make the decision now what
to do with my day, and youhaven't even found the things
that you're really passionateabout, let alone know what kind
(34:07):
of career you want to go into.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Right and I think you know, kind of like you
mentioned earlier, it's agrooming and I honestly don't
remember the quote, but I knowthat I read something a while
ago that said, you know, kind oflike schools, like the public
school system, is not teachingour kids to think for themselves
, it's just teaching them how tofollow orders.
And I have an issue with that.
I have a big issue with that,because there's always and I
(34:33):
don't mean to sound like, butthere's always going to be
people that, through likenepotism or however it may be,
are going to be on top no matterwhat.
And then there's going to bethe people that were taught how
to be submissive and just likeokay, where do I go, what do I
do?
What do I say?
(34:56):
I did it, you know, and it'slike I feel like we have so much
more to give.
You know, when I give my kidsroom to like, what do you guys
want to do right now?
And they want to play, and I'mlistening in on their playing
and their imagination and I'mlike kids are capable of so much
.
Like when you hear kids playand you see them and even in
like how they problem solveoutside of.
This is a test.
Take this test.
This is a quiz.
(35:16):
You have 20 minutes.
No, send them outside and letthem figure out.
Hey, that swing broke.
But I want to get up there.
How can I?
And seeing them, let's bringthis over, problem solve and
work together.
It's just so like freeing, youknow, because it's not a
structured thing.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Are you trying to pick a curriculum but feel a
little overwhelmed at thevariety of options?
Me too.
I mean, how do you pick acurriculum when you don't know
what each one has to offer?
That's been my biggest problem.
Well, I am here to help.
I just launched a premiumcontent series.
That means it's $3 a month,which will just help cover the
cost of running the podcast.
(35:55):
In my curriculum series, Iinterview homeschooling students
and parents and curriculumcreators about specific
curriculum each week so that youcan take the guesswork out of
your curriculum choices.
I'll be asking questions likewhat does the day-to-day look
like with this curriculum?
What does it cover from abird's eye view?
How long does one lesson taketo complete?
How many lessons does thecurriculum contain and what does
(36:16):
it cost?
Did you have to order the bookor could you download them and
print them somewhere like yourlibrary?
Does this curriculum have a lotof games, writing or crafts, and
did your child enjoy thiscurriculum?
Can you do it with more thanone child at a time?
And if I did this curriculumwith my child, would I need to
add any sort of supplements toit?
These are all questions thatI've had while I search for the
(36:37):
perfect curriculum to suit myson's personality and my
expectations.
Let's face it there is no onecurriculum out there that will
work best for every child andadult, so I invite you to join
me in my search to find out whatevery curriculum has to offer,
so that you can feel confidentin your curriculum choices and
enjoy your homeschooling journeythat much more.
Right where you find all of theHomeschool how To podcast
(37:00):
episodes, you'll see mycurriculum series and you can
subscribe today.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Again.
I have friends that areteachers and I'm so respectful
of what they do.
I'm so respectful of theirintentions and their desire to
shape young minds.
But my issue is more with thesystem.
It's like kids are not all thesame.
I don't deal with my daughterthe same way I deal with my son,
(37:29):
who's in kindergarten.
I can tell him you know I needyou to sit down and do that now
because and tell my daughterlike you look, like you need a
break, because you know she'smore emotional and she's.
But at the same time, I cantell my daughter you know what?
I know you've still got 20minutes left in you.
I know you can do it.
(37:50):
You're just trying to get out ofit and look at my son and be
like no, today you kind of youlook done, you know, whereas
it's not just a.
You failed because you didn't.
You know kids are so differentand you have to be willing to
work with them, and I understandthat that is not possible in a
classroom with one teacher and30 students.
You can't give kids the room tofeel what they feel and get
(38:14):
five more minutes here and okay,go ahead and put your head down
.
You look a little bit tired.
So I just think you know, doingit at home and understanding my
kids and having flexibility andadaptability works better for
children.
Having flexibility andadaptability works better for
children because then I thinkwhen you give them space and you
give them okay, I see thatyou're having a rough day or
(38:35):
whatever it may be.
Or you know what?
We stayed up.
We got home pretty late lastnight.
Let's have a slow morning.
I love slow mornings and I lovethem because obviously they're
beneficial to me.
But I cannot imagine having tohave a rough night for whatever
it may be, and then having toget my kids dressed and fed and
(38:57):
out the door by 645 to wait forthe bus and and then expect them
to have a good day for eighthours at a school where they
have to hold it all togetherbecause you know, if they break
down they're going to get madefun of and they're going to get
bullied for being the kid thatcried in class to get made fun
of and they're going to getbullied for being the kid that
cried in class.
So to me it's just like there'sjust so much.
That is that was taken intoaccount and yeah.
(39:19):
So I'm sorry, I kind of justbulldozed there, but there's.
I'm just so passionate about itbecause I'm like you know, kids
are so different and you need tolet them figure out who they
are.
And I do think it takes patientand responsible adults with
kind of, you know, a little bitmore one-on-one attention to
give them room and kind of gearthem in that you know like, oh
(39:42):
nope, you went too far here, youneed to apologize, let's bring
it back in over here, but you'restill giving them room to feel
what they feel and expressthemselves and learn from their
mistakes, but then come back andbe like okay, that was, that
was a little bit of a rough day,but I learned from it.
So, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Those are all the things that we took into account
with with the wholehomeschooling and deciding to
yeah, I think parents feel well,schools just know what they're
doing because they're theprofessionals and working in
(40:23):
government for 16 years.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I can tell you no, no government official knows what
they're doing.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
They might know a lot about a small part.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
They don't know the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I had a post at my one-year anniversary of this
podcast.
I had made a post on Instagramabout all of the things that I
had learned, and one of theslides in it rubbed people the
wrong way, cause I said, youknow, parents don't know what
they're doing, like we none ofus know what we're doing.
You roll, you know by the seatof your whatever the term is and
(40:52):
you make it up as you go, andyou with the best of your
knowledge, and if it doesn'twork, you keep going.
But I said, and neither doteachers and a couple of people
were like teachers know whatthey're doing and it's like, yes
, teachers went to school tolearn, maybe, how to teach or
learn what to teach.
Okay, right.
(41:13):
So, yes, they might know how orwhat to teach, because that's
what the government officialswant them to teach, right?
Is it the best way?
Not for everybody, like youjust said.
And two, college, and in NewYork you need to have a two year
master's degree to teach.
So the six years of collegedoes not prepare you for a
(41:36):
classroom of 30 kids with alldifferent temperaments and
interests.
So where Susie might be bored,but Johnny really likes math so
he's excelling Susie's causing aproblem.
Someone in the back didn't getany sleep last night because,
you know, his house maybe has alittle bit of dysfunction and so
(41:57):
he's tired and taking it out ontoday.
Meanwhile, another child maynot have had breakfast, another
kid might be just like pickingtheir nose and not understanding
what the heck's going on.
So it's like no, there is no waythat six years or 25 years is
going to prepare you for everysingle situation in a classroom.
(42:17):
And so, no, teachers don't knowwhat they're doing and they go
by the best of their knowledgeat the information they're given
and what they have at hand.
And, like you mentioned in thebeginning, they are
under-resourced and the classesare overcrowded.
So you can have the bestteacher that could teach every
student how to read, perfectlyRight, but she's given a
(42:41):
classroom of 30 plus kids in alot of situations, not enough
resources to work one-on-onewith them, um, you know, and and
she's got to deal with all oftheir temperaments too and the
behaviors going on.
It's just so impossible.
So at some point, yeah you dohave to look at it and say how
valuable is my child's time?
(43:02):
Because if their time isvaluable, why am I going to put
them in that setting wherethey're?
What are they going to get outof?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
it Right.
And I actually I had aconversation with conversation
with one of the professors in myprogram I'll be starting a
master's program in August andwe met last night just to kind
of discuss some things and sheexpressed to me that she
actually just startedhomeschooling her son.
I believe she said he's 13.
And so she had some questionsbecause I had mentioned, you
(43:32):
know, in introducing myself, shewanted to know a little bit
about me and I'm like, oh, I'm ahomeschooling mom and this and
that or whatever.
And you know, she saidsomething that to me was you
know, she's a parent who's nowpulling her son from school to
homeschooling him.
And she said, you know, shefelt like her son was falling
through the cracks and she couldsee him being lost in the
(43:53):
classroom and being lost in thesystem.
And she saw a little boy cominghome like just broken daily
because, you know, for hours onend he wasn't seen, he wasn't
heard, his needs weren't met.
And you know, that to her waslike the final straw.
And I haven't had, you know, Ihaven't had that experience
because I, my kids, have beenwith me, but that just spoke to
(44:16):
me and it impacted me becausethat could be the alternative
for my kids, my middle child,knowing his personality he's
very shy, but he's also veryliteral and he's gotten himself
into trouble even here at homebecause, you know, sometimes it
(44:36):
sounds like he's, you know,being a smart aleck.
But then, you know, my husbandand I talked recently and I said
, listen, I think we need totake his, his words for like
just what they are.
I think he's he's not.
I think I know he's veryliteral and sometimes, you know,
it sounds like he's beingsarcastic and I'm like imagine
how he would be getting introuble in a school setting
(44:58):
where it could possibly be.
You know he's talking back,he's a smart aleck, he's
sarcastic and you know he's justlike I'm just answering
questions, like I'm.
You know he's five, he's not.
But it's like hearing herexperience and just imagining my
kids in a setting where theycould be lost, they could fall
through the cracks, they couldbe forgotten, unseen, and then
(45:19):
they come home and it's like,you know, do your homework and
go to bed.
And do your homework, havedinner, go to bed.
It's like, no, I'd rather spendmy day with them, learn them
and just create a safe space forthem.
And you know it's not.
I know that even in this area,like we were talking earlier,
(45:40):
it's not something that I seehappening a lot there half hours
a day of homeschool.
So it is something that youknow.
If you have family around you,hey, I'm homeschooling from this
(46:01):
time, but then I'm going to goto work, can you?
You know, if you're not working, your grandparents are around,
can you watch the kids.
There are so many ways aroundit that it could work so that
the kids are just constantlysurrounded by people.
They know people, they'recomfortable with people who love
them and are just creating achildhood that they don't need
(46:22):
to recover from, a childhoodthat they, you know they reach
in Asian, you know getting into,like in Connecticut, you can
start through community collegesafter homeschool.
Like, if you graduate fromhomeschool, you go to community
college, get your associates andthen you can go up toward your
bachelor's and whatnot.
But where you had so much timeto figure out who you are to
(46:42):
figure out, hey, I'm really goodat this, I want to do this.
Like right now, my daughterwants to be a pastor and a
scientist.
She's so sure of it and I know,you know, at seven years old,
she's going to change her mind afew more times.
That's you know kids don't makeup their mind about long term
things at this age, but you knowit's just okay.
Well, you like science, let'sbuy a bunch of science kits and
(47:03):
let you like do that.
So yeah, that's just my take.
It's like it can be done.
It doesn't take eight hours aday to homeschool.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
I just don't create where they can have kind of the
conveyor belt workers to get thejobs done for their industries,
(47:49):
and they wanted them to besmart enough to do the task, but
not smart enough to questioncould I be doing something else?
Could we be doing it?
Speaker 2 (47:58):
better it could be.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
You know, what else can I do with my life?
And yeah, that kind of breaksmy heart too when I think about
like wow, we were really, wewere about to send them right
through, and you know, thathappened to me and I don't know,
somehow I broke out of likeseeing like this just is, this
is a waste of life.
So much time I feel was wasted.
And it's hard because, um, youknow, you don't want to feel
(48:23):
like you're putting anyone downfor making a different life
choice.
However, if you saw things theway that you do, you would
understand that it's out ofcompassion, not out of uh, of
feeling like righteous or aboveRight, it's right, it's a, it's
a preservation of the childhood,really.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Right, yes, and I've actually I've had people that
have been offended with.
You know, on my Instagramaccount I just share our
homeschool, like our mornings.
I'll share like a littlepicture of oh, we worked on this
and we worked on this today andit's like almost as if I'm
looking down at someone who'smade a different choice for
their family.
(49:03):
I've made it very clear thatit's like my choice for my
children and my family hasabsolutely nothing to do with
anybody else's decisions.
If you choose to send your kidsor if that's if, even if you
don't want to, but that's thebest choice for your family,
okay, you know, it's just like Idon't know I have such an issue
with that Because it's like youknow we're not judging.
(49:24):
I think if maybe subconsciously, people have, you know, they're
deflecting or they're like youknow I feel like I can be doing
something differently, thenthat's the easy out to kind of
target homeschool moms and belike you think you're better
than me.
But that's not the case at all.
It's like, listen, my onlypriority is my kids.
I do not have to answer foranybody else's kids and, you
(49:47):
know, if someone has questions,I'm more than willing to answer
them.
But yeah, that does get alittle frustrating because I
think even that, and then, ontop of the, like you mentioned
earlier, that assumption thatit's privilege no, there's so
many assumptions.
And it's like listen, no, I'vehad to learn what programs are
around here that can make it sothat my kids can participate in
(50:08):
things that we can't affordbecause I don't have an income
anymore.
I've had to get creative withfield trips, like reach out to
the fire department in downtownand say, hey, can I bring the
kids by to see the trucks?
And to the kids that's likethey have the best day ever and
I'm just like Thank you, lord,that that was free.
You know sports and whatnot.
(50:30):
There's so much that kids arethat you can enroll your kids in
.
That doesn't cost anything orcost very little.
But it's not at all aboutprivilege.
It's not at all about thinkingthat we're better than anyone or
looking down or acting morerighteous.
It's like, no, we just madedecisions, made some sacrifices,
did the work to look intodifferent options and to think
outside of the box, and we'removing forward with it, with
(50:53):
your approval or not.
And I think maybe our securityin ourselves and in our
decisions is also an issue thatpeople may have.
Like you know, how dare you beso sure of this choice and and
even the fact that if our kidsare succeeding, maybe that rubs
people the wrong way too,because it's like you know I
wish they would fail, you know,to shut her up.
And it's like I share what Ishare because I know that there
(51:16):
are people that are on the fence.
And if you know me being realabout you know I've shared even
rough days I had with the kids,like one day my son, you know,
in his work on the Good and theBeautiful, he did smile sad
faces and you know it instructedto do smiley faces and he made
him sad because he didn't wantto do work that day.
So he expressed himself throughhis work.
But you know I shared thatbecause to me it's like listen,
(51:39):
parents who send them to schooland parents who homeschool we
all have rough days and our kidslash out at us and sometimes
kids don't want to go to publicschool, just like my kids don't
want to go to the dinner tableand do their work some days.
So we're just all trying to dowhat's best for our families and
I think that that needs to beunderstood.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Yeah, absolutely.
There are many hard times,especially as you're adjusting
to how are we going to make thiswork, because you know I feel I
have to teach you things andbecause I was public schooled, I
feel it has to be done this wayand you know we're learning as
the homeschool parents what isokay and what isn't.
And to be confident in yourself, even if, like, if your kid's
(52:20):
not ready to read at age five,let it go.
Don't have the fight.
Let it go to age six, seven,eight, nine, when they're ready,
and don't feel insecure whenother people judge you that your
kid isn't reading at the levelthat all other kids are.
Because, I mean, studies haveshown that the later they learn,
you know, the more they'reactually find a love for reading
(52:42):
later on.
So, um, yeah, there is just somuch information out there.
It is like a beautiful way tolive a childhood and live an
adulthood.
You know, watching these littleflowers that we had bloom.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
Right If it were all easy.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
we wouldn't appreciate the good times
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (53:02):
Exactly, and at the end of the day, it's worth it.
Speaker 1 (53:04):
Well, Chai, thank you so much for meeting with me
today and having this chat.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Of course, thank you for having me.
This has been fun, it has been.
Speaker 1 (53:12):
Thank you so much.
Enjoy the rest of your day, youtoo.
Bye-bye.
Thank you for tuning in to thisweek's episode of the
Homeschool How-To.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
using the link in my show'sdescription.
Or, if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool
(53:34):
group Facebook page.
Any effort to help us keep thepodcast going is greatly
appreciated.
Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
generation.
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool
How-To.
I'm Cheryl and I invite you tojoin me on my quest to find out
why are people homeschooling,how do you do it, how does it
differ from region to region,and should I homeschool my kids?
Stick with me as I interviewhomeschooling families across
the country to unfold theanswers to each of these
(00:26):
questions week by week.
Welcome With us.
Today we have Chai.
How are you?
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I am doing well.
I'm excited to be here.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
What state are you in ?
I know you're on the East Coast.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I am.
I'm in Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh, nice.
Okay, I'm in upstate New York,so not too far.
So I asked you to come on tothe podcast today because I have
received feedback fromlisteners or people that follow
on Instagram sayinghomeschooling sure, that's great
for the people that live in thecountry or the people that even
(01:08):
live in the suburbs, but it'snot possible in urban areas and
it's you know.
And it's interesting because acouple weeks ago I had Manisha
on who.
She doesn't have kids, shedoesn't have kids, she doesn't
homeschool.
But she was a substituteteacher in the school system and
realized that you know thatthere are so many things lacking
(01:31):
.
So what she actually did wastook her efforts into and
actually she saw that in theBronx in New.
York City.
There was a huge homeschoolinglike explosion down there.
So that's kind of what she wentinto is how can we work with
this in the more urban areas andin the cities?
So she had a lot of helpfultips.
(01:52):
And then I had Dahlia on acouple of weeks ago.
She is the president ofChickenlandia, so she is our
chicken expert and her big pushwas like getting chickens to
people that live in cities andyou know kind of like how you
can do that, how you could workwith your.
You know the people in yourbuilding to all have like a one
sort of central location and youall take turns taking care of
(02:15):
the chickens and you knowbenefiting from the eggs and
that stuff.
So I asked you to come on todayto kind of give me your
perspective and howhomeschooling works for you and
your family, because you're inmore of an urban area, correct?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yes, yes.
So when I first startedhomeschooling, we actually lived
in the heart of Hartford.
We lived on the north side,which is a very urban area.
I'm talking, like you know.
We heard a lot outside of ourdoor and outside of our windows.
It was not a very pleasant orpretty place.
(02:52):
As far as you know, when youthink of homeschooling, you do
think of someone living out inthe country or having a farm and
lots of land Our neighbors.
I mean, we could hear eachother.
If someone shouted, you couldhear it, but I still knew that I
would prefer to homeschool mykids and to send them out into
the public school system,because that's just my take on
(03:16):
it.
I feel like my kids are myresponsibility and I want to
know that the person that isaround them eight, nine hours a
day although for me it's 24-7.
But I wanted to know that theperson that is spending the most
amount of their awake hours wasspeaking kindly to them and
having patience with them andloving on them and teaching them
in a way that benefits themmost, realizing that in the
(03:39):
urban area there are classroomsthat are overpopulated and
understaffed and that funding isa big issue.
With much respect to allparents who send their kids to
school.
I just decided that was not forus, and my husband and I had
many conversations about itbefore my daughter was even of
(04:00):
school age.
So what we then started to dowas teaching her.
You know, I would just teachher at home at her pace, because
I started when she was, youknow, two and a half, three
years old with like the alphabetand things like that.
So it was not very structuredat the time, but I was
intentional to do things liketake her to the library, which
(04:22):
you know you can get a librarycard for free.
I was careful not only becauseI was in an urban area Right now
we live in another part ofConnecticut, but it's still
urban, it's not the inner citybut I was intentional with how I
did homeschool, because moneywas a big factor for us and you
(04:47):
know I didn't have the libertyat the time to be home all day
with the kids.
So I drove a school bus and Iwould go out and do a route.
You know five in the morning Iwas already on the road and I'd
be home by eight and then dosome schooling with her and go
back out in the afternoon.
But as far as getting her tosocialize, it was whatever was
free.
So playgrounds, the librariesin the area, the science center,
(05:12):
whatever that I could get fromthe library which you know.
If no one knows, from thelibrary you can get free passes
to museums within Connecticut.
So you just go check out a passand you use it to take your kid
for free to the museum.
So she did get a lot ofexposure to educational centers
and things like that.
That helped me to also keep herengaged.
(05:35):
But then at the same time itdidn't cost anything and I think
that that's one of the biggestfears that in urban areas there
are, you know, understandingthat there are low-income
families and there's a lot ofpoverty and people look at
homeschooling and think you haveto be very wealthy to be able
to afford to lose an income, andthat's not the case.
(05:55):
You know, we just lived farbeneath our means.
That was a sacrifice that wechose to make and we've made it
work.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Yeah, and how do you have?
How many children do you haveNow?
I?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
have three, three, yeah.
And how do you have?
How many children do you have?
Now?
I have three, three, yeah, somy daughter is seven.
Yeah, so there's seven, fiveand three.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So when you went to drive the school bus, was your
husband home to like you couldkind of finagle your work
schedule?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yes, yes, so my husband is a minister, he's a
pastor, so we've always beenable to work our schedule so
that if, at the time when I wasdriving the school bus, he would
be home with the kids, and youknow, while I was driving he'd
do breakfast and whatnot, andthen in the afternoon when I
went out again, he would dotheir nap time and he would work
(06:37):
in between those hours.
Now we have changed thingsaround because, you know, now,
having three kids at the timethat was just one kid it was a
little easier for him to for usto work the schedule that way.
Now I am home full time withthe kids and he's actually the
one that took on an additionaljob so that I could be home.
We do have with his line ofwork because he's able to have
(07:08):
his own schedule and and workhis schedule in a way that he
can also take on an additionaljob and still be home when he
needs to be home, yeah and uh.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I mean there are so many.
Especially right now.
There's so many options forjobs because every place seems
to be hiring.
So it's like if you have a jobthat maybe you have to go in the
office and that's not conduciveto a homeschooling schedule,
there might be a similar job outthere with a different company,
that is, a work from home ormaybe a hybrid situation, like
(07:37):
you said.
I hadn't really thought aboutthat, but how much closer are
you to libraries and playgroundsthat you can just hop in the
car and go to or walk to?
Because for me I am, I'm inupstate New York, but it's still
45 minutes to anything really.
So yesterday we went to aplayground and it's a 40 minute
(08:01):
drive there and then a 40 minutedrive home.
So I mean there are a lot ofbenefits to kind of
homeschooling in the urban areasand you have a lot more people
around you.
So getting together for a playdate, especially as the kids get
older, where they're kind ofmaking friends at the playground
like, hey mom, I want to hangout with that person again.
You know you are in closerproximity and not all the time,
(08:25):
but it does make it easier thanokay, well, let's get all the
kids in the car and drive you toyour friend's house.
It's like, well, if I can justwalk you two doors down, that's
really nice.
So how do your children likebeing homeschooled, do they?
They must see kids get on thebus.
I mean they you were a busdriver, so they know that that's
(08:45):
a thing Do they feel likethey're missing out on anything.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
For the most part, they really enjoy homeschool
because I have the way I see it.
I think that kids learn so muchthrough play and, although we
do have our curriculum, we usethe good and the beautiful.
We do sit and do the work.
I can also see when my kidsneed a break and they know
(09:10):
already.
You know, they'll just say, mom, can I take a break?
And you know, granted, I don'tlet them abuse it.
I can tell when it's like youjust had one two minutes ago.
But I also am very mindful thatkids need playtime, so I'll let
them.
Okay, let's take a break, let'scolor, let's oh, you look like
you're falling asleep let's dosome jumping jacks, let's put
out, you know, let's do aworkout video.
(09:30):
So there, I've had theconversation with them,
especially my daughter, who isseven and she's she's a people
person, she is a socialbutterfly and she loves to be
around people and having friendswho are in a different school
setting.
You know, she has asked me, youknow how come I don't go to
school like they go to school?
(09:51):
And I've expressed to her youknow well, this is what your day
looks like, because when you'rein something it's hard to you
know, you don't really know theblessings or the benefit of what
you have, unless you, you know,compare it to something else.
So I've expressed to her.
I said you know, you know, yeah, there are a lot more students
and a lot more kids in a, youknow, public school setting, for
(10:13):
example.
I said, but, and I sat her down.
I said this is what your daylooks like.
You're up at this time, youknow, we get ready for the day,
we have breakfast, we do ourBible study, we get our day
started and I'm like you're donewith school by like 11 am.
You have lunch, we do lunchtogether and then you go play
with your brothers or you guysplay outside when it's warm
(10:36):
enough, and that's like that'syour day.
All your responsibilities aredone.
Now the day is yours to play.
And I said a lot of kids,unfortunately, you know, in the
school system.
You know they have to be at thebus stop at 6am, 6.30am, and
you know they go to school.
They have breakfast in school,they have lunch in school.
(10:56):
I said by the time your littlebrother's taking his afternoon
nap and you know he's droolingaway in his room.
They're still in school.
And you know I said some kidsaren't getting home in the
winter until the sun goes downand I'm like, and by then you've
gotten a bath and you'recoloring and ready for bed and
you know they're just gettinginto the home.
And it's not to diminish whathappens in other families, but
(11:17):
to help her.
See, this is why daddy andmommy made the decision we made.
We have also had theconversation that you know, in
the future, are we going tohomeschool all the way through
high school or are we gonna, youknow, talk about it again in
middle school and again in highschool?
So she, she loves that and youknow, and they tell me, like my
son tells me, like you're thebest teacher in the world.
(11:38):
I'm like I'm the only teacheryou've ever known.
But, thank you, I'll take it.
But you know, I've been veryclear with them also as to why
we do homeschooling.
You know I said, you know mommyand daddy really want to make
sure that you guys get tothoroughly enjoy your childhood
and that nothing comes in theway of you being, you know, just
an innocent child that has, youknow, is living childhood to
(12:00):
the max.
So they definitely see theblessing of it and they're
enjoying it.
I'm making sure that they'reenjoying it, because, I mean,
there's no time like right nowfor them.
You know, they're going to growup soon enough and they're
going to have bills and taxesand and all these
responsibilities, and I justthink that childhood is so
precious and it needs to becherished and valued, and that's
(12:22):
what we're trying to give them.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, and it's important to think, like you
were saying we'll revisit theconversation for middle school
and for high school at what'sbest for everybody at that time.
I think people think if they gointo homeschooling and then
their child goes intotraditional school that they
have failed at homeschooling,and it's definitely not the case
(12:45):
at all.
It's just you're doing what isbest for everybody at the time
and you don't want that child toresent you for never allowing
them, you know, and not to say,if it's very strong in your
values that they don't go, thenyeah, you have that conversation
.
But if you're okay with themgoing and they want to go, it's,
(13:05):
it's not a failure, it's morelife experience, you know, and
whether they decide to come backafter that and appreciate it
even more.
You know.
So, uh, I really a coupleparents I've had on have talked
about how, oh well, my daughterwent into traditional school but
my sons are still homeschooled.
And, you know, I think thatthat's really cool and that you
(13:26):
have to take that pressure offyour shoulders, for, okay, this
is the way that it has to be,for you know, the whole time,
because a lot of parents don'teven want to start it because
they're like, oh, I want them togo to prom, you know, I want
them to be able to have, uh, beon the football team or
something.
But it's like, well, if they'rejust in elementary school, just
(13:46):
say, let's try it forkindergarten and then see how
that goes.
Or let's try it for elementaryschool and see how that goes.
And I, I've been so surprised athow many things we are still
able to do, even though in NewYork we cannot participate in,
like school sports, uh, becauseof um.
(14:08):
You know, if you're notenrolled you can't so, but there
are still so many things.
Like, for instance, my son didwrestling and it was with the
school, but because it was at athird party location, he was
able to just join in with thatUm mountain biking group, swim
lessons.
Baseball is a community thing.
(14:28):
That's not at the at theelementary level.
That's just a community thing,not a school thing.
Um, soccer, there's so manythings you know he could have
done hockey or whatnot.
So, yeah, there's a lot.
I think, parents it's.
It's when you're in it youstart to see how many
opportunities are actually outthere.
And what about, like co-ops inyour area?
(14:51):
Do you find that there are alot of opportunity for that,
whether you choose to do them ornot, Just being in an urban
area there are a lot of co-ops.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Interestingly enough, we actually had started a
homeschool academy out of ourchurch two and a half years ago
and we did it for two years.
But it was all kind of at themercy, for lack of a better word
, of how many people werewilling to participate in it
mercy, for lack of a better word, of how many people were
(15:25):
willing to participate in it.
When we learned that, you know,because it is it's not, I
understand that it is notsomething that is very easy for
every family.
Some of the families came inand just attempted it and it was
like you know, we're going tosee how this goes.
And then, you know, at the endof the year it was like this
didn't work out for our family,it didn't work out for our work
schedules, and you know theydidn't return and that's fine.
(15:50):
And then, you know, we had somestudents that were going to move
away and at the start of thisyear I was asked hey, are you
going to continue?
And I felt like I kind of hadto weigh the pros and cons
because I was actually theteacher.
I was the teacher in theclassroom with various families
and teaching, you know, severalstudents and I decided not to go
back and try it again foranother year, because it does
(16:11):
take full commitment fromeveryone and if it's not working
for everyone, I had to reach adecision where it was like, ok,
I need to give my kids myundivided attention again.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
You guys know I am a big fan of the Tuttle Twins and
their book series, and it lookslike you're enjoying them too.
Out of all of the brands that Iaffiliated with for my podcast,
the Tuttle Twins is the mostpopular.
If you haven't checked it out,click on the link in my show's
description and give their sitea visit.
These books teach us real lifeprinciples in a way that kids
can understand and, let's faceit, that I can understand, so
(16:46):
you will too.
Your kids will be learningthings like why a free market
economy is the best way to liftpeople out of poverty.
How property rights allow us todecide what's best for us and
make decisions for our family.
Why the world is a better placebecause of entrepreneurs who
create businesses to help servetheir fellow neighbors.
What socialism is and why it'sso destructive to our freedoms
(17:07):
and wellbeing.
How the golden rule, which istreat others how you'd like to
be treated, is so important topeople getting along with one
another, no matter where we live, what we look like or what we
believe.
Their book education vacationis all about homeschooling and
what a value that that can be.
Their books go over laws, whywe have them and what the role
of government is supposed to be,instead of what it is.
(17:29):
Grab the link in my show'sdescription and use code
Cheryl40, that's C-H-E-R-Y-L-4-0, for 40% off books in the age 5
through 11 series.
You can grab the link in myshow's description.
There will also be links therefor Jibby Coffee delicious
lattes powered by your dailydose of functional mushrooms,
organic adaptogens and collagenprotein, which is just a nice
(17:52):
way to say it'll improve yourenergy, reduce fatigue, nourish
your hair, skin and nails andsupport healthy digestion.
You can use code Cheryl20 for20% off of Jibby Coffee.
I also have links to EarthlyWellness, which are clean,
natural and affordable healthand wellness products.
You can use code HomeschoolHowTofor 10% off of your first order
, and I also urge you to checkout Treehouse Schoolhouse.
(18:15):
They have a nature studysupplemental curriculum and,
given that springtime is nowupon us, this is a perfect time
to check out their springtimenature study and really become
one with nature.
Let's learn what's going onaround us.
I can't wait to do that onewith my kids.
So head on over to the show'sdescription and grab these links
.
Don't forget to use the code toget your discount.
(18:36):
Or head on over to thehomeschoolhowtocom under
listener discounts Thanks forchecking out the show today.
Discounts Thanks for checkingout the show today.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
So that's why I'm home now with the kids.
But as far as co-ops not reallyin this area I know there's a
lot of interest.
That's the interesting part,you know, as I'm on social media
and when I, you know, meet momsat the park or whatever,
there's so much interest.
But I know also that there isthis fear, of which I felt it
(19:05):
before we started.
It was like, you know, it seemsso overwhelming, it seems like
so much and a lot of people like, oh God bless you, how do you
do it?
And I'm like, I'm just likehanging out with my kids, you
know, like I sit them down, likeI do when you want your kids to
do something.
It's like, hey, have a seat,please do this.
I mean the same as withhomeschooling.
I sometimes I have to redirectthem and I understand that is
(19:26):
overwhelming.
But as far as like co-ops, it'slike I feel like there are more,
there's much more interest thanthere is a let's just leap,
let's just give it a leap offaith and try.
But at the same time Iunderstand the fear because,
like I mentioned earlier, thereis, you know, in this area it's,
you know, families where bothparents are working, it's two
(19:47):
income homes or it's a singlemom.
You know, I know a lot of singlemoms that are working one and
two jobs and grandparents arehelping to babysit the kids in
between, you know, after schoolor before school.
So there isn't a lot of, atleast not I know, in other parts
of Connecticut.
I've met moms online where it'slike, oh, you know, we're down
in Greenwich, we have a wholeteam here, and it's like, yeah,
(20:10):
but that's different.
It's Connecticut, but it's sodifferent from Hartford and New
Britain and East Hartford,manchester.
It's so different from overhere, where there are a lot of
working families and not manystay-at-home moms that are able
to, or stay-at-home dads thatare able to be with the kids for
the hours that they need to behomeschooled and then watched
(20:31):
after, because you canhomeschool the kids and then you
have to go to work, but thenwho's going to watch the kids
because they're not in school.
So it is figuring it out and Ihave not seen a lot of that in
this area.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, so have you seen that kids are homeschooled
but it's more just like jugglingthe schedule, that they don't
have the free time to also getto a co-op.
Or do you think that there arepeople that want to homeschool?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
They disagree so much with the agenda of the public
school system with theindividual agendas of teachers
and parents are, you know, veryagainst it, but they kind of
(21:15):
feel like they have no otherchoice.
There are parents that evenwish they would desire to even
just afford private school,because you know it's almost
like we still can't lose anincome but at least the kids are
in private school.
Because you know it's almostlike we still can't lose an
income but at least the kids arein private school.
But that's also not an option.
So I have heard a lot of umdesire for a difference, you
know, to put their kids in adifferent type of setting.
(21:36):
But then, you know, a lot offamilies do feel tied down by
the needs, the financial needs,that they have.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, and that is another thing that people have
reached out to me for sayinglike, well, we work and you know
, uh, it, it, it's just notfeasible.
So I had reached out to people,to working moms.
I think it was in the same postthat I I had talked to you and
saying, like I'm looking forpeople to cover these topics,
who has this sort of expertise?
(22:03):
And I did uh have um aninterview with a woman a couple
of days ago who worked out ofthe home.
Um, she, she, she worked forthe railroad, and so did her
husband, and she had her motherwatching her kids on the hours
that she was working.
But the mother was notnecessarily doing any sort of
(22:25):
homeschooling with them.
It was more just like becausethe kids were too young to be on
their own.
Then when she came home fromher 12 hour shift, she would do
schoolwork with them, get dinneron the table and then go to bed
and, um, you know, kind of runthat cycle.
But working 12 hours you'reonly working three or four days
a week, so if she didn't get toit on one of the days that she
(22:48):
was working, she would just do alittle bit more on the four
days that she had off, and sothat was kind of an interesting
take as well, and how we canmanipulate our schedules to work
.
Or she, her and her husbandended up working the same shifts
, but if they were opposite,that probably would have been
easier as well.
(23:08):
And I was kind of talking to herabout people don't realize that
they can utilize otherhomeschooling families, either
another mom who is leaving herjob to stay home but looking for
extra money and maybe for youknow if you had three kids that
you wanted to go there for maybea discounted rate they could
(23:29):
watch your kids while theyhomeschool their kids, and
whether they're part of thehomeschool process for your kids
or just a place where they weresupervised you know that's
always an option or evenhomeschooling kids that are
teenagers, I know sometimes,like they're done with, they do
their work more independently.
They're done with it earlier onin the day or they can do it in
(23:50):
the evening or on weekends sothey are available to watch kids
, and whether it's a internshiptype thing or a paid deal, I
know a lot of times thehomeschoolers also take a gap
year before they decide whatthey want to do.
If college is the route or somesort of missionary trip or, you
know, get right into working.
(24:12):
So there are a lot of thingsout there.
I think it's just getting kindof creative and reaching out to
people in your community andseeing what is available and
kind of just thinking outsidethe box.
I know I try to get like myin-laws watch the kids for four
hours a week so I can record forthe podcast and try to get some
editing done.
And I've tried to send myfive-year-old with like
(24:35):
schoolwork just simple math, thegood and the beautiful math and
oh my gosh it doesn't get done.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
They're like he didn't want to listen and that
was it.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
And I'm like, yeah, that was, that was the extent.
Yeah, okay, I'll have to askyou this too.
Okay, I've had people say to meI mean, we've already kind of
discussed it, but people say tome like, oh well, you're
privileged, that's the onlyreason that you can homeschool.
And, like you said earlier,we've made sacrifices, like I'm
leaving a 16 year career withthe government where I was
(25:07):
supposed to get.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I climbed the ladder through civil service exams and
you know, interviewing and allthat stuff.
I'm, you know I'm leaving agood paycheck that and then a
pension, that I thought.
I was going to get inretirement and health insurance
to make the sacrifice.
And with that, in addition, Ilook at the poorest countries in
(25:32):
the world and I think well,they don't send their kids to
daycare while the moms go off tolike the corporate world.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Right, right, no, it's.
I think it's that thatassumption that it's privilege.
I can see where you know, wherecertain families, that could be
the possibility, but as far asmy family that is not the case.
It's not privilege, it issacrifice, like I mentioned, and
(26:01):
it is thinking outside the box.
Like you said, our experiencehas not been that it is
privilege.
We did have to think outsidethe box and, like I mentioned
earlier, it's definitely beenmore about sacrifice than
privilege.
I've always been just a littlebit as far as like nails and
(26:23):
hair and things like that.
I do all of that at home andyou know, in talking to I have
friends that go like every weekto get their nails done,
pedicure, hair done every twoweeks and things like that.
I learned how to do all of thatfor myself very early on
because I've just I have a veryhard time spending money on
myself.
(26:43):
It's just, that's a personalthing.
But even when we were talkingabout the sacrifices that we
would make, you know I could be.
I had a job where you know,when I went to leave my job, not
for this but, uh, for myhusband to finish his school, we
were moving to Massachusetts Um, I went to leave this job and I
was, uh, a receptionist and anadministrative assistant for the
(27:05):
HR team and and I was slowlylike working my way up and I had
established so many connections.
And when I went to leave thatjob, you know my boss called me
in and he's like hey, we'rewilling to offer you 15,000 more
a year If you take.
You know, we want a promotion,we want to give you this
promotion.
And I was like, you know, Iknew what in our situation, I
(27:25):
knew what I had to do.
I had to follow my husband andbe with him and I was like, no,
I'm going to go, as great asthat sounds.
And you know he called me backinto another meeting and he's
like, okay, fine, you know wedon't want you to leave or we're
willing to offer you 25K on top.
And you know, take, you knowwe're going to, you know the
401k and all of these things.
(27:45):
But I knew, I always knew thatGod was kind of gearing me a
different way and my husband andI had very different plans and
I knew I wasn't going to beclimbing that corporate ladder,
even though I was there at thetime and so many doors opened at
(28:05):
the time.
So I do know what it could befor us financially, but at the
same time I just wouldn't tradeit.
So privilege is not the casehere.
Like I said, you know, I've gotmy nails done gel, and I did it
here last night.
I have the little UV light fromAmazon.
(28:27):
I do my nails, I do my hair athome, my eyebrows, everything.
You know.
I've got the little lash kitswhen we're going to have an
event and I glue them on myself.
These are things that if I wereworking, you know, if I were to
look at it like no, I need tokeep my job to do these things
for myself because I'm used tothis, then, yeah, that would be,
I guess, a different privilege.
(28:49):
But I think sometimes peoplelook at my family and we do look
pretty well put together andit's like, no, listen, there's
such thing as Facebookmarketplace, there's thrift
shops, there's.
You know, if you are willing to, like you said earlier, think
outside the box and to me, likeI do, look at it almost like one
great big box as far as likewhat we're taught in school,
(29:12):
like it has to be this way.
You know, you come here and youlearn how to sit still for
eight hours a day and then yougo to work and you sit still for
eight hours a day and you, youknow it's all one great big box
and one day you have to look atit and be like I'm going to get
outside of this big box and dothings differently and guess
what?
There's a whole world out thereand it's possible, but you do
have to get creative with it.
(29:33):
So no, it's not privileged LikeI, just I'm watching.
My husband just went to work forhis afternoon route and he took
my daughter.
That's something that we alsodo for the kids to be able to
socialize a bit and get out ofthe house.
So he'll alternate with who hetakes with him on the route,
(29:55):
because now he's driving aschool bus, so in the morning
that's way too early to wakethem up, but in the afternoons,
you know, they're so excitedlike they're fighting over who
can go with daddy.
So it's definitely notprivilege.
I think it's sacrifice on bothparts, and you know, for me it's
being here and and being withthe kids and and being a lot
(30:17):
more hands on.
And then my husband's sacrificehas been really big too,
because you know he's, he'sworking and ministering and he's
a pastor and he gives so muchof himself for that, but then
also taking on an additional jobbecause he believes in this as
much as I do, and he's willingto sacrifice for the family.
(30:38):
And he's so exhausted, he's sotired, but it's a sacrifice.
We make different sacrificesfor the sake of the kids.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yes, and when you think of like, for instance,
when I was at the, and when youthink of like, for instance,
when I was at the park yesterday, the 40 minute away park, but
but it was kind of cool becauseit was part of a play group
actually.
So not a co-op but a play group, and that's another option for
people to look in as well.
If you don't want to like dothe organization of a co-op, are
there play groups in the areathat meet up like one day a week
(31:09):
and this one likes to go todifferent places.
So if it's somewhere you knownot too far, I'll go, and it was
just like the first beautifulday in a long time and you know
the northeast yesterday and I'mwatching the kids and seeing
like my 15 no, she's 18 monthsum, just do different things for
the first time, like maybe atwisty slide, and like really
(31:33):
falling in love with that and myson do have they had the zip
line thing and it was like I waslike, oh my gosh, I spent 16
years in a cubicle after, likeyou said, you spend all of
school behind cement walls andwalls and grooming you basically
to think that being in acubicle is okay.
(31:55):
And I'm like I would be missingthis if something didn't hit me
over the head and make merealize like there's more to
life.
And yes, they dangle thosecarrots like pensions and raises
and health insurance eventhough it's probably sick
insurance Right.
(32:15):
And it's like for what?
For the almighty dollar thatdoesn't have any gold backing it
right now.
The Federal Reserve determineswhat it's worth from day to day.
We don't know that that moneywill be guaranteed when we are
ready to retire, and it's like.
It's like could you live yourlife and then, at 55 or 65 years
(32:39):
old, go to retire?
And if everything were wipedout at that point because, oh,
the dollar crashed or oh, therewas a bad investment made, your
pension's no longer there, your401k is gone, how would you feel
about the last 30 years thatyou spent and what you
sacrificed for that?
That is no longer there.
At least we know our kids arehere today and we're impacting
(33:02):
their life every day.
And I mean, I feel bad even whenI am working on editing for the
podcast or whatnot, because itdoesn't really bring in any
money, but I also try to thinkof it as when my kids see me
doing a hobby, like a passion,something creative, and you know
I try to like let them in onwhat I can, because I grew up
(33:23):
for so long, probably into mylate 30s thinking like, what do
you do with free time anyway?
Into my late thirties thinkinglike, what do you do with free
time anyway?
You know we're we're soregimented to to be like you
have to be here at this hour forthis many hours, and it doesn't
matter if you're sitting therestaring at a wall, that's where
you have to be for that amountof time.
And then you have to be to thispractice, and then you have to
(33:45):
be to sit here for dinner and goto bed, and everything is so
structured with, um, you knowdifferent things all the way
through, uh, till you're yougraduate, graduate college even
and then you're like, oh, I haveto make the decision now what
to do with my day, and youhaven't even found the things
that you're really passionateabout, let alone know what kind
(34:07):
of career you want to go into.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Right and I think you know, kind of like you
mentioned earlier, it's agrooming and I honestly don't
remember the quote, but I knowthat I read something a while
ago that said, you know, kind oflike schools, like the public
school system, is not teachingour kids to think for themselves
, it's just teaching them how tofollow orders.
And I have an issue with that.
I have a big issue with that,because there's always and I
(34:33):
don't mean to sound like, butthere's always going to be
people that, through likenepotism or however it may be,
are going to be on top no matterwhat.
And then there's going to bethe people that were taught how
to be submissive and just likeokay, where do I go, what do I
do?
What do I say?
(34:56):
I did it, you know, and it'slike I feel like we have so much
more to give.
You know, when I give my kidsroom to like, what do you guys
want to do right now?
And they want to play, and I'mlistening in on their playing
and their imagination and I'mlike kids are capable of so much
.
Like when you hear kids playand you see them and even in
like how they problem solveoutside of.
This is a test.
Take this test.
This is a quiz.
(35:16):
You have 20 minutes.
No, send them outside and letthem figure out.
Hey, that swing broke.
But I want to get up there.
How can I?
And seeing them, let's bringthis over, problem solve and
work together.
It's just so like freeing, youknow, because it's not a
structured thing.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Are you trying to pick a curriculum but feel a
little overwhelmed at thevariety of options?
Me too.
I mean, how do you pick acurriculum when you don't know
what each one has to offer?
That's been my biggest problem.
Well, I am here to help.
I just launched a premiumcontent series.
That means it's $3 a month,which will just help cover the
cost of running the podcast.
(35:55):
In my curriculum series, Iinterview homeschooling students
and parents and curriculumcreators about specific
curriculum each week so that youcan take the guesswork out of
your curriculum choices.
I'll be asking questions likewhat does the day-to-day look
like with this curriculum?
What does it cover from abird's eye view?
How long does one lesson taketo complete?
How many lessons does thecurriculum contain and what does
(36:16):
it cost?
Did you have to order the bookor could you download them and
print them somewhere like yourlibrary?
Does this curriculum have a lotof games, writing or crafts, and
did your child enjoy thiscurriculum?
Can you do it with more thanone child at a time?
And if I did this curriculumwith my child, would I need to
add any sort of supplements toit?
These are all questions thatI've had while I search for the
(36:37):
perfect curriculum to suit myson's personality and my
expectations.
Let's face it there is no onecurriculum out there that will
work best for every child andadult, so I invite you to join
me in my search to find out whatevery curriculum has to offer,
so that you can feel confidentin your curriculum choices and
enjoy your homeschooling journeythat much more.
Right where you find all of theHomeschool how To podcast
(37:00):
episodes, you'll see mycurriculum series and you can
subscribe today.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Again.
I have friends that areteachers and I'm so respectful
of what they do.
I'm so respectful of theirintentions and their desire to
shape young minds.
But my issue is more with thesystem.
It's like kids are not all thesame.
I don't deal with my daughterthe same way I deal with my son,
(37:29):
who's in kindergarten.
I can tell him you know I needyou to sit down and do that now
because and tell my daughterlike you look, like you need a
break, because you know she'smore emotional and she's.
But at the same time, I cantell my daughter you know what?
I know you've still got 20minutes left in you.
I know you can do it.
(37:50):
You're just trying to get out ofit and look at my son and be
like no, today you kind of youlook done, you know, whereas
it's not just a.
You failed because you didn't.
You know kids are so differentand you have to be willing to
work with them, and I understandthat that is not possible in a
classroom with one teacher and30 students.
You can't give kids the room tofeel what they feel and get
(38:14):
five more minutes here and okay,go ahead and put your head down
.
You look a little bit tired.
So I just think you know, doingit at home and understanding my
kids and having flexibility andadaptability works better for
children.
Having flexibility andadaptability works better for
children because then I thinkwhen you give them space and you
give them okay, I see thatyou're having a rough day or
(38:35):
whatever it may be.
Or you know what?
We stayed up.
We got home pretty late lastnight.
Let's have a slow morning.
I love slow mornings and I lovethem because obviously they're
beneficial to me.
But I cannot imagine having tohave a rough night for whatever
it may be, and then having toget my kids dressed and fed and
(38:57):
out the door by 645 to wait forthe bus and and then expect them
to have a good day for eighthours at a school where they
have to hold it all togetherbecause you know, if they break
down they're going to get madefun of and they're going to get
bullied for being the kid thatcried in class to get made fun
of and they're going to getbullied for being the kid that
cried in class.
So to me it's just like there'sjust so much.
That is that was taken intoaccount and yeah.
(39:19):
So I'm sorry, I kind of justbulldozed there, but there's.
I'm just so passionate about itbecause I'm like you know, kids
are so different and you need tolet them figure out who they
are.
And I do think it takes patientand responsible adults with
kind of, you know, a little bitmore one-on-one attention to
give them room and kind of gearthem in that you know like, oh
(39:42):
nope, you went too far here, youneed to apologize, let's bring
it back in over here, but you'restill giving them room to feel
what they feel and expressthemselves and learn from their
mistakes, but then come back andbe like okay, that was, that
was a little bit of a rough day,but I learned from it.
So, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Those are all the things that we took into account
with with the wholehomeschooling and deciding to
yeah, I think parents feel well,schools just know what they're
doing because they're theprofessionals and working in
(40:23):
government for 16 years.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I can tell you no, no government official knows what
they're doing.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
They might know a lot about a small part.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
They don't know the whole thing.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I had a post at my one-year anniversary of this
podcast.
I had made a post on Instagramabout all of the things that I
had learned, and one of theslides in it rubbed people the
wrong way, cause I said, youknow, parents don't know what
they're doing, like we none ofus know what we're doing.
You roll, you know by the seatof your whatever the term is and
(40:52):
you make it up as you go, andyou with the best of your
knowledge, and if it doesn'twork, you keep going.
But I said, and neither doteachers and a couple of people
were like teachers know whatthey're doing and it's like, yes
, teachers went to school tolearn, maybe, how to teach or
learn what to teach.
Okay, right.
(41:13):
So, yes, they might know how orwhat to teach, because that's
what the government officialswant them to teach, right?
Is it the best way?
Not for everybody, like youjust said.
And two, college, and in NewYork you need to have a two year
master's degree to teach.
So the six years of collegedoes not prepare you for a
(41:36):
classroom of 30 kids with alldifferent temperaments and
interests.
So where Susie might be bored,but Johnny really likes math so
he's excelling Susie's causing aproblem.
Someone in the back didn't getany sleep last night because,
you know, his house maybe has alittle bit of dysfunction and so
(41:57):
he's tired and taking it out ontoday.
Meanwhile, another child maynot have had breakfast, another
kid might be just like pickingtheir nose and not understanding
what the heck's going on.
So it's like no, there is no waythat six years or 25 years is
going to prepare you for everysingle situation in a classroom.
(42:17):
And so, no, teachers don't knowwhat they're doing and they go
by the best of their knowledgeat the information they're given
and what they have at hand.
And, like you mentioned in thebeginning, they are
under-resourced and the classesare overcrowded.
So you can have the bestteacher that could teach every
student how to read, perfectlyRight, but she's given a
(42:41):
classroom of 30 plus kids in alot of situations, not enough
resources to work one-on-onewith them, um, you know, and and
she's got to deal with all oftheir temperaments too and the
behaviors going on.
It's just so impossible.
So at some point, yeah you dohave to look at it and say how
valuable is my child's time?
(43:02):
Because if their time isvaluable, why am I going to put
them in that setting wherethey're?
What are they going to get outof?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
it Right.
And I actually I had aconversation with conversation
with one of the professors in myprogram I'll be starting a
master's program in August andwe met last night just to kind
of discuss some things and sheexpressed to me that she
actually just startedhomeschooling her son.
I believe she said he's 13.
And so she had some questionsbecause I had mentioned, you
(43:32):
know, in introducing myself, shewanted to know a little bit
about me and I'm like, oh, I'm ahomeschooling mom and this and
that or whatever.
And you know, she saidsomething that to me was you
know, she's a parent who's nowpulling her son from school to
homeschooling him.
And she said, you know, shefelt like her son was falling
through the cracks and she couldsee him being lost in the
(43:53):
classroom and being lost in thesystem.
And she saw a little boy cominghome like just broken daily
because, you know, for hours onend he wasn't seen, he wasn't
heard, his needs weren't met.
And you know, that to her waslike the final straw.
And I haven't had, you know, Ihaven't had that experience
because I, my kids, have beenwith me, but that just spoke to
(44:16):
me and it impacted me becausethat could be the alternative
for my kids, my middle child,knowing his personality he's
very shy, but he's also veryliteral and he's gotten himself
into trouble even here at homebecause, you know, sometimes it
(44:36):
sounds like he's, you know,being a smart aleck.
But then, you know, my husbandand I talked recently and I said
, listen, I think we need totake his, his words for like
just what they are.
I think he's he's not.
I think I know he's veryliteral and sometimes, you know,
it sounds like he's beingsarcastic and I'm like imagine
how he would be getting introuble in a school setting
(44:58):
where it could possibly be.
You know he's talking back,he's a smart aleck, he's
sarcastic and you know he's justlike I'm just answering
questions, like I'm.
You know he's five, he's not.
But it's like hearing herexperience and just imagining my
kids in a setting where theycould be lost, they could fall
through the cracks, they couldbe forgotten, unseen, and then
(45:19):
they come home and it's like,you know, do your homework and
go to bed.
And do your homework, havedinner, go to bed.
It's like, no, I'd rather spendmy day with them, learn them
and just create a safe space forthem.
And you know it's not.
I know that even in this area,like we were talking earlier,
(45:40):
it's not something that I seehappening a lot there half hours
a day of homeschool.
So it is something that youknow.
If you have family around you,hey, I'm homeschooling from this
(46:01):
time, but then I'm going to goto work, can you?
You know, if you're not working, your grandparents are around,
can you watch the kids.
There are so many ways aroundit that it could work so that
the kids are just constantlysurrounded by people.
They know people, they'recomfortable with people who love
them and are just creating achildhood that they don't need
(46:22):
to recover from, a childhoodthat they, you know they reach
in Asian, you know getting into,like in Connecticut, you can
start through community collegesafter homeschool.
Like, if you graduate fromhomeschool, you go to community
college, get your associates andthen you can go up toward your
bachelor's and whatnot.
But where you had so much timeto figure out who you are to
(46:42):
figure out, hey, I'm really goodat this, I want to do this.
Like right now, my daughterwants to be a pastor and a
scientist.
She's so sure of it and I know,you know, at seven years old,
she's going to change her mind afew more times.
That's you know kids don't makeup their mind about long term
things at this age, but you knowit's just okay.
Well, you like science, let'sbuy a bunch of science kits and
(47:03):
let you like do that.
So yeah, that's just my take.
It's like it can be done.
It doesn't take eight hours aday to homeschool.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
I just don't create where they can have kind of the
conveyor belt workers to get thejobs done for their industries,
(47:49):
and they wanted them to besmart enough to do the task, but
not smart enough to questioncould I be doing something else?
Could we be doing it?
Speaker 2 (47:58):
better it could be.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
You know, what else can I do with my life?
And yeah, that kind of breaksmy heart too when I think about
like wow, we were really, wewere about to send them right
through, and you know, thathappened to me and I don't know,
somehow I broke out of likeseeing like this just is, this
is a waste of life.
So much time I feel was wasted.
And it's hard because, um, youknow, you don't want to feel
(48:23):
like you're putting anyone downfor making a different life
choice.
However, if you saw things theway that you do, you would
understand that it's out ofcompassion, not out of uh, of
feeling like righteous or aboveRight, it's right, it's a, it's
a preservation of the childhood,really.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Right, yes, and I've actually I've had people that
have been offended with.
You know, on my Instagramaccount I just share our
homeschool, like our mornings.
I'll share like a littlepicture of oh, we worked on this
and we worked on this today andit's like almost as if I'm
looking down at someone who'smade a different choice for
their family.
(49:03):
I've made it very clear thatit's like my choice for my
children and my family hasabsolutely nothing to do with
anybody else's decisions.
If you choose to send your kidsor if that's if, even if you
don't want to, but that's thebest choice for your family,
okay, you know, it's just like Idon't know I have such an issue
with that Because it's like youknow we're not judging.
(49:24):
I think if maybe subconsciously, people have, you know, they're
deflecting or they're like youknow I feel like I can be doing
something differently, thenthat's the easy out to kind of
target homeschool moms and belike you think you're better
than me.
But that's not the case at all.
It's like, listen, my onlypriority is my kids.
I do not have to answer foranybody else's kids and, you
(49:47):
know, if someone has questions,I'm more than willing to answer
them.
But yeah, that does get alittle frustrating because I
think even that, and then, ontop of the, like you mentioned
earlier, that assumption thatit's privilege no, there's so
many assumptions.
And it's like listen, no, I'vehad to learn what programs are
around here that can make it sothat my kids can participate in
(50:08):
things that we can't affordbecause I don't have an income
anymore.
I've had to get creative withfield trips, like reach out to
the fire department in downtownand say, hey, can I bring the
kids by to see the trucks?
And to the kids that's likethey have the best day ever and
I'm just like Thank you, lord,that that was free.
You know sports and whatnot.
(50:30):
There's so much that kids arethat you can enroll your kids in
.
That doesn't cost anything orcost very little.
But it's not at all aboutprivilege.
It's not at all about thinkingthat we're better than anyone or
looking down or acting morerighteous.
It's like, no, we just madedecisions, made some sacrifices,
did the work to look intodifferent options and to think
outside of the box, and we'removing forward with it, with
(50:53):
your approval or not.
And I think maybe our securityin ourselves and in our
decisions is also an issue thatpeople may have.
Like you know, how dare you beso sure of this choice and and
even the fact that if our kidsare succeeding, maybe that rubs
people the wrong way too,because it's like you know I
wish they would fail, you know,to shut her up.
And it's like I share what Ishare because I know that there
(51:16):
are people that are on the fence.
And if you know me being realabout you know I've shared even
rough days I had with the kids,like one day my son, you know,
in his work on the Good and theBeautiful, he did smile sad
faces and you know it instructedto do smiley faces and he made
him sad because he didn't wantto do work that day.
So he expressed himself throughhis work.
But you know I shared thatbecause to me it's like listen,
(51:39):
parents who send them to schooland parents who homeschool we
all have rough days and our kidslash out at us and sometimes
kids don't want to go to publicschool, just like my kids don't
want to go to the dinner tableand do their work some days.
So we're just all trying to dowhat's best for our families and
I think that that needs to beunderstood.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Yeah, absolutely.
There are many hard times,especially as you're adjusting
to how are we going to make thiswork, because you know I feel I
have to teach you things andbecause I was public schooled, I
feel it has to be done this wayand you know we're learning as
the homeschool parents what isokay and what isn't.
And to be confident in yourself, even if, like, if your kid's
(52:20):
not ready to read at age five,let it go.
Don't have the fight.
Let it go to age six, seven,eight, nine, when they're ready,
and don't feel insecure whenother people judge you that your
kid isn't reading at the levelthat all other kids are.
Because, I mean, studies haveshown that the later they learn,
you know, the more they'reactually find a love for reading
(52:42):
later on.
So, um, yeah, there is just somuch information out there.
It is like a beautiful way tolive a childhood and live an
adulthood.
You know, watching these littleflowers that we had bloom.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
Right If it were all easy.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
we wouldn't appreciate the good times
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (53:02):
Exactly, and at the end of the day, it's worth it.
Speaker 1 (53:04):
Well, Chai, thank you so much for meeting with me
today and having this chat.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Of course, thank you for having me.
This has been fun, it has been.
Speaker 1 (53:12):
Thank you so much.
Enjoy the rest of your day, youtoo.
Bye-bye.
Thank you for tuning in to thisweek's episode of the
Homeschool How-To.
If you've enjoyed what youheard and you'd like to
contribute to the show, pleaseconsider leaving a small tip
using the link in my show'sdescription.
Or, if you'd rather, please usethe link in the description to
share this podcast with a friendor on your favorite homeschool
(53:34):
group Facebook page.
Any effort to help us keep thepodcast going is greatly
appreciated.
Thank you for tuning in and foryour love of the next
generation.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.