Unlocking the Secrets to Health, Wealth, and Happiness: Your Ultimate Guide to True Personal Freedom
August 15, 2024 • 35 mins
Discover the keys to unlocking true personal freedom and fulfillment in this transformative episode. We’ll dive deep into the power of mindset shifts and the art of self-discipline, revealing how mastering self-control in areas like finances, health, and relationships can pave the way to a life overflowing with peace and joy.
Breaking free from unhealthy habits and outdated ways of thinking is essential, and it’s about releasing negative attachments and embracing a new, empowering energy. While it may sound simple, achieving this mastery requires dedication and a fresh perspective—something every great individual has done, and so can you.
This episode is designed to reignite your personal connection to your life's purpose by providing practical ideas and strategies for overcoming obstacles in key areas that may be holding you back. Tune in for an episode filled with actionable insights and inspiring stories that will guide you toward a life of true fulfillment and freedom.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Do you ever feel a shortage of freedom in your life
?
Maybe it's in the area of healthor finances, or even in
relationships.
Freedom is a state of being,it's a state of mind, and in
this episode, I want to help youtune back into your natural
inner state of freedom.
Hello and welcome to the jamesgrans from podcast super soul
(00:32):
model series.
In this episode, I'm going toshare with you a guide to
creating personal freedom.
There are three parts towell-being, and that is freedom,
growth and joy, and these arethe tenants that make up your
life.
Most people want these thingsin their life and they really
want freedom, they really wantjoy, but growth can be a bit
difficult.
But freedom is a big part forus as human beings and if, for
(00:54):
some reason, you're lacking anyfreedom in your life, I want to
share with you some ideas thatwill help you guide yourself
back into a state of personalfreedom, because when you begin
to feel free, the world willopen up to you and offer you
opportunities where you feelfantastic.
But it's when you feel confinedthat you say I want freedom,
(01:16):
but you actually don't have it.
So the universe is alwaysresponding to the energy that
you're sending out.
So if you say you want freedomand it's coming from a position
of I don't have it, the universecan only give you more of what
you are currently emitting.
So that's why I really want totidy this up for you and I want
to share with you someprinciples and strategies that
(01:36):
will help you find your ownfreedom.
I used to think that freedomcame by making choices of doing
whatever I wanted when I wanted,and that seems quite natural to
think that freedom came bymaking choices of doing whatever
I wanted when I wanted, andthat seems quite natural to
think like that.
But I was wrong, and I waswrong badly, because I made some
good choices and there wereconsequences to that, and I made
(01:56):
some bad choices and there weresome consequences to that.
So I want to kind of shift theword freedom, or finding freedom
(02:19):
within, by changing it, tofinding peace within, because
that is what I had to come tothrough going through years of
making serious mistakes andhaving to pay the consequences
for some of the choices andactions that I took.
But to have freedom it justrequires two things that you can
do on a day-to-day basis, andthat is practice self-control
(02:41):
and have self-discipline, and itseems as though it's the exact
opposite of what freedom ishaving self-control and
discipline, but that's exactlyhow it works.
If you want to have freedom,you've got to have disciplines
in place.
If you want to have freedom,you've got to have self-control,
because life is always lookingto give more to those who have a
(03:02):
state of responsibility wherethey can say that's enough and I
can say no to this.
Or you can say no to yourself,or you can say no to others, or
you can say no to being a slaveto something.
And most of us are slaves tosomething because we have
attachments to things, places,material goods and people, and
(03:24):
until we relinquish theattachments to that, we will
never actually be free.
So life is always a process ofletting go of certain things so
you can feel more free, morelight and more full of joy,
because that's what you are atyour core.
The word responsibility issomething I used to run away
from, because I was taught bygrown-ups who were doing the
best they could thatresponsibility isn't fun and
(03:50):
they were coming from a place ofnot necessarily understanding.
The natural law, which is theuniverse, gives more to those
who show responsibility, andeven though it might not be fun
because you're having to haveself-control.
Maybe it's like living on abudget for a while.
Or maybe it's havingself-control saying you know,
(04:10):
I'm working on making sure thatI get in fantastic shape right
now.
Or there's certain foods thatI'm going to refrain from right
now whilst I'm getting in shape.
Or even in relationships, I'mgoing to refrain from going out
with those people right now,even though it would be really
fun because I'm trying to savesome money.
Or I'm refraining from goingout with those people because I
(04:30):
don't want to drink right now.
All of these things aredemonstrating self-control and
self-discipline.
Not feel freedom from choice atthat moment of doing what you'd
really like to do.
What you're actually doing iscreating something amazing for
later, which will be immensefreedom, and that will be
(04:53):
freedom with a state of I'mhealthy and I can do certain
things that my physical bodyallows me to do, like go on big
hikes and do some really funsports.
If you are demonstrating thatyou're responsible with your
money, you've saved some money,you've invested you some money
and then you can do some thingsand go to some places and go on
(05:14):
some amazing travels becauseyou've put yourself in a
position to be able to do that,or you've demonstrated in your
relationship that you can spendsome decent amount of time by
yourself rather than going fromrelationship to relationship.
Because when you get to knowyourself and you find happiness
within and you find peace within, you're going to be mirrored by
(05:34):
the universe to a beautiful,intimate relationship because
you've taken time to be happy byyourself before jumping into
another relationship.
People often make these mistakes, so freedom really comes from
activating self-control andself-discipline.
So let's look at findingfreedom wherever you're at,
(05:55):
because that's the mostimportant part.
Wherever you're at is goodenough, and sometimes we demand
or want freedom, but we're justnot feeling it.
So how can we find a sense offreedom and fulfillment when
we're just not feeling it?
So how can we find a sense offreedom and fulfillment when
we're not really feeling it?
Well, that requires a mindsetshift and that's what I want to
share with you now.
The basis of your life isfreedom, and the real freedom
(06:16):
that you have comes from thethoughts that you think and
taking responsibility foreverything that shows up in your
life.
And as soon as you come fromthis point of view, this
perspective, you're coming froma conscious, evolved perspective
, because you realize thateverything that's happened to
you or is happening to you isserving you in some kind of way,
(06:38):
whether it's a good thing or anegative thing.
Either way, it's serving you togrow, and this is really
powerful.
But whilst your body may beconfined, whilst you may be
confined by what you're able todo with your finances right now,
maybe you're confined in yourhealth right now because of some
health condition that you mayhave.
(06:59):
Whatever you may beexperiencing, or even a
relationship that you want isn'tgoing the way you'd like it to,
freedom comes when you're ableto look at it from a different
perspective, seeing it as asetup and seeing that you have
the power to change yourthoughts first, before your
conditions change.
(07:20):
As human beings, we have tolearn to become more
unconditionally loving.
(07:47):
No-transcript a long time ago.
That I love to keep sharing onthis show is that the way you
think and the way you feel iswhat you're attracting.
And if you don't like yourcircumstances, you have to
practice to feel better beforeyour conditions can change.
(08:08):
And if you don't like yourconditions, what you need to do
is practice feeling what youwant to feel, which is a sense
of freedom, before your actualconditions can change.
Most people want to wait foreverything to change before you
can feel better, but that's nothow this works.
You are a powerful creator.
You are so powerful, but youneed to be reminded time and
(08:32):
time again, which is why I lovedoing this show to remind you of
your power, so that you canpractice some of these
strategies and principles thatwill transform your life for the
better.
Nothing will change until youchange first, and Nothing will
change until you change first,and nothing will change until
you change the way you thinkabout it first.
So you have to take ownership,you have to take responsibility
(08:55):
for all the good and all the badthat's happening in your life
right now, because at some level, you are the main actor in your
life and that's a veryliberating thing to know that
you have the power to changethat with your thinking.
Nelson mandela was in prison for25 years and it took him 25
years to find peace before he'sactually released.
(09:17):
And he made peace being in thatcell for all those years and
came out a different man thanthe man he went in and it says
that in his memoir, and it'samazing that just spending so
much time with yourself, you canfind a way to forgive what's
happening.
You can find a way to makepeace with whatever's happening,
(09:37):
no matter how difficult it mayseem, and you can find a way to
make peace with yourcircumstances, whatever they may
be.
But simultaneously, whilstyou're finding peace, you can
also find thoughts that producedifferent feelings that will
eventually change yourcircumstances.
That's empowering and that'salso the way that you find
(10:02):
personal freedom.
So let's look into the threemain areas of where you can find
personal freedom and perhapswhat strategies that you need to
have to be able to change yourperspective, change the way you
feel and then change those areas.
Because when I started applyingthese in these three areas,
that's when I saw my owntransformation, and that's when
I have also seen it in myclients lives as well, which is
(10:24):
why I love sharing thisinformation, because this stuff
really works when you work it,but it doesn't work if you don't
work it.
So the only person that cantransform your life is yourself,
but you have to take on theinformation and actually apply
it to get the experience, whichis called the wisdom.
Wisdom is experience.
Otherwise, these words are justempty.
(10:45):
So let's just look into one ofthe first areas of where you can
find personal freedom that maybe challenging you, and let's
just see if one of thesestrategies might guide you in a
more empowering direction.
If you want more freedom in yourhealth, one of the things that
you need to do and ask yourselfon a day-to to day sometimes
moment to moment basis if thisis a really important thing for
(11:08):
you is ask yourself what wouldthe healthiest version of myself
do here, or what would ahealthy person do here?
And then you have to askyourself would they do this and
what wouldn't they do?
I remember asking this tomyself regularly over 20 years
(11:28):
ago when I first started on myhealth mission, and I remember I
was getting in shape, but Iwasn't feeling really healthy,
and so I remember asking thisquestion regularly, and it was
only a matter of a few monthsbefore things really shifted and
transformed for me and havedone so for so many years and I
was asking myself this questionwhat would a healthy person do?
(11:50):
Because I'm not that healthyand I could tell, because I was
going out most nights of theweek, drinking, taking drugs,
partying, smoking.
I was using these externals totry and make myself feel better
and feel freedom, but really Iwas a slave to these substances,
to these externals.
(12:11):
And it was only when I changedwhat I was asking myself, and
then changed with the actions,that my identity changed.
And it probably changed withinabout four or five months of me
asking.
So I asked myself what would ahealthy person do in this
situation?
Would it eat that or would itnot eat that?
Would it go out there or wouldit not go out there?
(12:32):
Would it hang out with thosetypes of people or not?
What sort of activities does ahealthy person do?
And I just kept on askingmyself that.
And then I started finding booksabout health and nutrition.
So I started reading them andthen applying what I learned.
I started looking into movementand meditation and I started
(12:54):
practicing them.
And as I started practicing,these were new things that I
were doing aside from going outto a pub or a bar.
Instead, I would like stay homeand I'd meditate for like the
evening, or I'd stay home andI'd like learn how to cook a new
dish.
This was so foreign from who Iwas and it was so alien, but
little did I know.
(13:14):
Each time I was asking myselfwhat would a healthy person do?
Here I was shifting my identity.
So if you want to find personalfreedom, you need to shift your
identity, about the way you'relooking at things, and it won't
shift until you change the wayyou're looking at that situation
.
And this is super empoweringbecause I remember, within about
(13:36):
four or five months of mechanging my diet, releasing the
need to drink alcohol, takedrugs and give up smoking, it
was all because I felt thatthese owned me, these externals
owned me, and I was never goingto be free when something else
owned me, meaning theseunhealthy habits.
So ask yourself that question ifyou really want your health to
(13:58):
change, you really want to getin shape or you really want to
improve the quality of yourenergy in your life?
Because if you want more andI'm sure you want more you're
going to need a lot more energy,because energy is the thing
that turns ideas into physicalstuff.
That's how empires are built,that's how ideas are built,
that's how businesses are built,that's how you attract money.
(14:19):
You need more energy to attracthigher levels of what you
really want, which feels reallygood.
So if you want more, you'regoing to shift your energy and
that is so important for you.
And you've got to ask yourselfwhat would a healthy person do?
What would the healthiestversion of myself do?
And then go, do it.
Go and read and then apply, orlisten and apply, and until you
(14:43):
apply, it's nothing because youridentity won't have shift.
But you need to show up everysingle day for yourself, your
identity, to change and for youto experience greater freedom in
the area of health.
That's what I did and I noticed, wow, within four or five
months, I'd completely changedmy life, and I thought that it
might take way longer than that,but it didn't really.
(15:03):
One of the things that cansometimes hold you back from
feeling freedom is asking thatsort of question.
But you know, I'm not at theideal weight that I want to be,
I'm not looking the way I wantto be, and so, ultimately, every
time you're looking in themirror, you're getting feedback
of where you're at, andsometimes nothing changes
because you're constantlylooking at the feedback.
This is a way to find freedom.
Always have a lovely sentencethat is low resistance in your
(15:28):
environment, which is this willpass, this is temporary, I'm on
my way to this, things are ontheir way and working out for me
.
These type of sentences whenyou're having conversations with
other people or yourself helpyou feel positive help.
You feel empowered because youneed to build the bridge from
where you are to where you wantto be by having these beautiful,
(15:51):
easy statements in your locker,by saying things like things
are coming together for me.
This is coming together for meand, although this might not be
the way I want to look right now, it's temporary, because you
realize that everything istemporary until the condition
changes, which requiresconsistent effort and
(16:11):
consistency in showing up foryourself.
That's how everything changesand an overnight success is only
one based on consistent changeover time.
And if you want to experiencegreater freedom financially,
you've got to be very mindfulabout that.
And financial freedom can meanto a lot of people that what
(16:32):
you're receiving in terms ofincome supersedes what you're
paying with regards to yourconsumption.
But what you really want isprosperity.
You don't want just consumption, that all your needs are met.
You want all your needs metabundantly.
That's what you really want.
And to find that is differentfrom just saying I want to feel
(16:54):
freedom financially.
You want to feel completelyabundant, that all your needs
are met all the time in excess.
So that requires another changeof energy.
And the best way to begin thattrajectory and begin that energy
movement is to ask yourselfthis what does a wealthy person
(17:17):
behave like?
What does he or she do?
Study people who are successfulthat you admire, and notice
what their traits are, noticewhat their virtues are, notice
what their principles are.
What I often find with clientsthat I work with is everybody
loves to share what they'velearned, and it's so inspiring
(17:40):
to listen to people's storiesabout how they made it from
nothing to something, and you,too, can also do that.
But you have to ask thatquestion what does the
wealthiest version of myself doand behave like here?
And this is really powerful,and when I started asking that,
I noticed that my finances beganto change, and yours will too.
When you start asking andshowing up and changing your
(18:03):
identity again and again, whatdoes that person behave like?
Your identity again and again.
What does that person behavelike?
Do they have a budget?
Do they have a plan?
Do they invest?
And if you don't know how toinvest, find an area of
something that you use on aday-to-day basis.
Find a way to get shares orstocks in those, if that lights
you up, because any product thatyou buy you could potentially
(18:25):
be a shareholder or astockholder in that company that
you use because you see valuein it.
And when you own a bit of thatcompany, your shares of
appreciation in your life,meaning your net worth, goes up
as well.
This is what all wealthy peopledo.
They look to buy assets thatwill accrue in value above the
rate of inflation, and then some.
(18:47):
And if you want to becomewealthy, you really do need to
learn how to invest.
And if you are not learning howto invest right now, it means
you're only a consumer, whichmeans you'll just stay just
comfortable.
But if you want to go for big,if you want to go for large, if
you want to have the best lifeever, you've got to learn how to
invest.
And you've got to learn how tobe creative in increasing your
(19:08):
income as well, whilst keepingyour costs as low as possible,
so you've got more coming inthan going out.
Also, if you want to feel thatfreedom in your finances, where
are you controlled?
Where are you disciplined?
Are you good at having a budget?
Are you good at spending lessthan you earn?
Because these are all parts andprocesses of not only managing
(19:31):
and being responsible for yourown money and your own finances,
but also if you were to run acompany.
Most companies go bust within ayear and the reason being is
because their product or theirservice is bringing in less than
what's going out.
So it's super important to learnto have to have control and
discipline in the area offinances because remember you're
(19:52):
activating the law ofresponsibility here, and when
you are showing that you areresponsible for the money that
you have, the universe will giveyou more to manage.
Because the universe alwayswants to give and expand, and if
you're showing anddemonstrating clearly that you
can manage the money you've got,however small, it will give you
more money to manage.
This is how this principleworks.
(20:13):
The universe is based onexpansion and it's always
wanting more.
It's always wanting to givemore, and so if you have an idea
, it wants to give you more.
If you can show where you canmanage, where you're at and this
is what I've noticed in my ownexperience and in my clients'
experiences and when I'm justlooking at other people of my
friends, I've noticed, wow,they're managing that well, and
(20:36):
then they come into a lot moremoney, and I'm fascinated by
this principle, how the universeworks like that.
It's accurate, but it's funnyas well.
So be really good at managingwhat you've got and notice
everything increase as a resultof how good you're managing.
Also, you need to practicegratitude regularly, because
(20:56):
when you're grateful, you'rejust going to get more.
This is, this is just theprinciple of feeling more free
in your finances.
The more grateful you are forthe money that you receive and
when you pay for it, then thatgratitude is being reciprocated
over and over again, becauseenergy is always being sent out
into the world and when you'rehappy and thankful for what
you've got, the universe willgive you more, and it just goes
(21:19):
on like this perpetual positivecycle, rather than this negative
cycle of you feeling confined,that you can't do this or you
don't have enough.
All freedom in your financescomes from recognizing that you
are enough and that there isenough, and that the only
shortage there is is one that'sin your mind.
So, in order to change anyshortage which comes from the
(21:42):
human mind alone because if youlook into nature, nature is
abundant.
It's, it's a full of absolutelyso much, and it's only in our
human mind that we find shortage.
You know, we even think thattime, we're short of time and
that's all just a receptivestate that we're in of lack.
So we need to change our mindsfrom lack to abundant and
(22:03):
fullness, and that's where wefind freedom.
One of the ways I love to dothis is always to look at what
you can do versus what you can'tdo.
I can do this.
I could do this if I wanted to.
I could do this if I wanted to.
You know, I have this lovelygame I learned from Abraham
Hicks is you take a hundreddollars, put it in your wallet
and you go.
(22:24):
What could I do with thishundred dollars today?
And then, as you're alwaysnoticing what you can do, then
you get more.
I remember when I was doing awaiting job, I was always told
by the bosses which I reallyloved.
This analogy is like if youcan't give them a drink, show
them what else you could givethem, because don't say no, just
(22:45):
say I don't have this, but I dohave this, and that makes
people feel warm.
This is why companies thatthrive are based upon their
level of care, like apple.
If you look about how goodapple is, their care system,
apple care is really good.
Their support system yes, theproduct's really good, but if
something goes wrong, don'tworry.
(23:05):
We've got apple care to helpyou get your machinery or your
technology back on track.
That's why apple shares havesoared massively in the last
20-25 years, and this was acompany that was about to go
bust years ago.
So we're looking at theseamazing principles of generating
greater freedom, and freedomcomes from changing your
(23:27):
perspective.
Freedom comes from havingdiscipline and self-control.
And if you want to have greaterfreedom in your finances, aside
from having discipline andself-control, are you
demonstrating the virtues ofbeing reliable?
Are you demonstrating thevirtue of having integrity,
because the universe will alwaysgive more to people who are
(23:49):
demonstrating an alignment ofthought, word and deed?
This is just such a powerfulprinciple and it's one that I
use not to do, and I make it oneof my massive priorities.
And also, if you want to feelthat freedom in finances, you've
got to ask yourself what wouldthat wealthy version of myself
dress like and dress like that?
What does that wealthy personbehave and do with their money
(24:09):
here?
Would they go on that trip?
Would they not go on that trip?
Would they invest in thiscomputer?
Would they not invest in thiscomputer?
Because you've got to seeeverything as an investment.
Is it taking you to or awayfrom where you want to be?
And only you can tell whether,if you're going to spend money,
it it's going to beuncomfortable and if it's
uncomfortable, don't spend itbecause it's not going to be
(24:30):
helpful.
But if you spend somethingwhere you know it's going to
light you up and it's going tohelp you, then that's a worthy
investment.
And the best investment youcould ever have is in yourself
and in your own education of themost important things and
principles you can have forenjoying greater freedom
financially for yourself,wherever you're at, is by having
delayed gratification,recognizing that time is your
(24:52):
greatest asset, and just byputting a little now away in an
investment that will be abovethe rate of inflation will serve
you in so many years to come Imean, warren buffett says this
unless you are putting moneyaway for a minimum of six years,
it's not an investment, it's agamble.
And if you can use money to beable to invest it so that it
(25:13):
creates more above the rate ofinflation, you're going to
receive more money and gettingyour money work for you.
This is the wisest thing youcan do, which makes you feel
free because you're not worried,because your money is making
money, which means that youdon't have to turn up with your
time and energy to make money.
Your money is workingautomatically for you.
This will create freedom likeyou wouldn't believe, and one of
(25:34):
the best ways that I love toform that into being is why are
all my needs met abundantly andwhy do I invest wisely Now, if
you want your relationships toenjoy greater freedom and some
people feel that they are boundin relationships, meaning there
is no freedom, because arelationship means I'm not
allowed to do this, I'm notallowed to do this but that's
(25:56):
looking at it from a falsepremise.
Actually, relationships can beincredibly liberating when you
realize that you put yourhappiness in your own hands, not
in your partner's, or you putyour happiness in your own hands
, not the family that you'reliving with.
Your happiness is your ownresponsibility, it is nobody
else's and as soon as you getthat clear, your whole
(26:19):
relationship dynamic begins tochange.
I used to put my happiness inother people's hands and realize
, oh, I don't feel happy withthat, and so I was always
looking and working to find acommon ground to make that
relationship better, but itnever got better until I started
to do this make happiness myown mission, so everybody else
(26:40):
is off the hook.
So when I made happiness my ownmission, my relationships
improved because I'm not puttinganybody else's responsibility
to make me happy.
My expectations of another isabsolutely minimal, meaning I
have zero expectations aboutwhat they do, because people
won't always behave and work andmove in a way that you think
(27:01):
they're going to do, becausethere's so many moving parts.
But if you can make your ownhappiness your mission, your
daily goal, then you're going tofind you're going to rendezvous
with other people who are onthe same frequency, which might
mean your partner or it mightmean your family.
But it's absolutely essential toyou that you recognize that no
one else is responsible for yourhappiness other than yourself.
(27:24):
But often we become attached topeople in ways that are
unhealthy or toxic because we'restill needing them to validate
us, or toxic because we're stillneeding them to validate us.
We're still needing them tofill us up, to fill our void
where we don't feel full orvalidated by ourselves.
So that's why it's so importantto have wellbeing habits, to
bring yourself into a place ofequilibrium every single day,
(27:48):
and meditation will absolutely100% do that for you.
Finding things to appreciate inyourself and other people and
in the world will do that foryou.
Finding things to appreciate inyourself and other people and
in the world will do that foryou, will fill you up.
Movement of the body will dothat for you.
And eating good, healthy foodsand lovely meals and beverages
will do that for you.
And hanging around good feelingpeople will do that for you.
And you know what Good sleepand rest will do that for you.
(28:12):
All of these things matter whenyou recognize nothing is more
important that you feel good andyou find a way to fill your own
tank up before giving anybodyelse that responsibility.
So one of the best ways you canask yourself how can I feel free
in a relationship is what woulda healthy relationship be like?
(28:34):
What would the healthiestgood-feeling relationship where
I feel free?
What would that be like?
And start acting like that.
And if you're wanting a partnerand you don't have one, you've
got to ask yourself what wouldit be like to be in a very good,
healthy, loving, intimate,passionate, spiritual, joyful,
(28:54):
wealthy relationship?
What would that feel like?
And start behaving like thatperson now, start dressing like
that person now.
Start with everything thatyou've got in your home and in
your environment.
Ask that question and thenfollow through to the best of
your ability and start to bethat person Also on social media
.
How would you behave as thatperson now on social media?
(29:16):
And it's really importantbecause if you want your social
media accounts to bereciprocated by someone in a
certain way, you have to behavelike that now, because otherwise
you're just going to attractsomething where you feel lack,
where you feel insecure, andyour insecurities will be
(29:37):
exposed by your inability tohave connection with yourself.
And that is why finding a wayto fill yourself up, to find
your own happy space, is moreimportant than anything.
Another point to be able toenjoy greater freedom in your
relationships is can you look ata partner, can you look at your
family in a way of saying I canlove you, but without needing
(29:59):
to change you now?
That's a tricky question,because we all want to change
them to a certain extent so thatwhen we look at them we can
feel better.
But that's not how this goes.
We've got to look at someone asthey are and appreciate them as
they are.
It's through your appreciationthings begin to morph before you
.
That's why appreciation instocks and assets is so
important, because we see therise and when we complain or
(30:23):
find fault in anybody.
That's basically like thedownward trend in a market.
That's the same in yourrelationships.
If you want upward trends inyour market, find things to
complement and appreciate inother people and watch how they
change before your eyes.
Also, healthy relationships andliberating and freeing
relationships are built on trust.
So how much do you trustyourself?
(30:44):
Because that is huge.
Can you trust yourself to makegood decisions?
And in doing so, as you becomethat person who makes good
decisions and shows level oftrust, you're going to also
attract that in.
Trust is built, trust is earnedand it's earned by all the small
little actions.
So, wherever you are, are youbuilding trust with your thought
(31:07):
, words and deeds, which is whatI mentioned before?
Your thoughts, words and deedswill help build trust in other
people.
So you become reliable and thatreliability builds freedom in
your relationships, because thenyou're going to go out and
you're going to have a greattime and you recognize that the
foundation of your relationshipis built on your reliability, is
built on you being present, isbuilt on your love and your care
(31:30):
, because you do what you sayyou're going to do, and if you
don't do what you say you'regoing to do, and if you don't do
what you say you're going to do, your promises aren't kept you,
you tarnish that trust, youbreak it away.
So it's so important that youbuild that for yourself before
you enter into a relationshipwith another.
And maybe, if you've built thatinto a relationship with
someone but they're notdemonstrating it question is
(31:51):
that person for you?
Because you've got to havethose red flags that say, hey,
this person's not for me?
And that's a deal breakerbecause if they're not
demonstrating some of thevirtues and values and
principles that you hold dear toyou, then you're setting
yourself up to fail.
So it's so important that youvalue yourself enough to know
when something is a major redflag for you.
(32:13):
And relationships that thriveand are built on love and peace
and security and happiness andfreedom are ones built on trust.
In a relationship, it's soimportant that you can share
your troubles with somebody else.
And if you are not able toshare your troubles in a way
that will be listened to andheard, rather than being pushed
(32:34):
back where the other personfeels as though they're being
vindictive against you, that isstill coming from a place of ego
.
So it's so important that wedrop the ego in our
relationships and come back intothe heart, because the heart is
one where you're able to saythis is the pain that I'm
feeling and I want to share itwith you and I'm wanting to work
through this and I'm wanting toheal with you, because some of
(32:56):
the most amazing relationshipsyou ever have will be based on
you both mutually healingtogether, because this is wisdom
.
And when you're both wanting tocome from a place of saying,
hey, I want to have a fantasticrelationship and I want to have
that fantastic relationship withmyself and with you, and I
recognize that I'm having todeal with some of these wounds
(33:18):
that I'm trying to heal and I'mjust trying to share that with
you.
And that kind of upset me whatyou said, because the ego will
always push back with resistance.
But when you can both come froma place of heart and you can
both come of place of, hey, I'mjust trying to do the best I can
, I'm going to recognize I wantto work through this and the
other person can also say thesame, that will be a very
(33:40):
freeing and liberatingrelationship, because there will
always be things in your lifethat you need to work through.
But can you do that in a waywhere you're coming from the
heart rather than the ego.
This is what creates abeautiful relationship, not only
with yourself, but with others.
Ultimately, everything you'relooking for all starts with you
and all finishes with you, butyou share your journey with
(34:02):
others because in relationships,it's not so much what you say
to people, it's how that theymade you feel, that leaves a
lasting impression, and thatcomes from the heart and that
comes from the soul.
So these are some of the waysthat you can look to find
greater personal freedom in yourlife and in what you're doing
(34:23):
in some of the core areas ofhealth, finances and
relationships.
Now, I could go even deeper onthese subjects, but these are
just sort of touching some ofthe surface areas where you can
actually begin to havestrategies.
My favorite one is just askyourself what would that version
of myself behave like now?
And then go, do it on a momentto moment basis.
(34:43):
I noticed, as soon as I starteddoing this in all of those
three areas, my life began tochange, and yours will too, when
you ask better questions.
I hope you've enjoyed today'sepisode and thank you so much
for tuning in, and I soappreciate all the support your
support allows me to keepbringing you top quality content
that will transform your lifefor the better.
(35:05):
It's done it for me and loadsof my clients, so it will also
for you if you work it.
Nothing will change until youchange, and if you haven't yet
already, please considersubscribing, because when you
subscribe you can get the latestcontent that comes out.
Thank you so much and until thenext time.
I wish you a wonderful weekahead and green lights all the
(35:26):
way.
Do you ever feel a shortage of freedom in your life
?
Maybe it's in the area of healthor finances, or even in
relationships.
Freedom is a state of being,it's a state of mind, and in
this episode, I want to help youtune back into your natural
inner state of freedom.
Hello and welcome to the jamesgrans from podcast super soul
(00:32):
model series.
In this episode, I'm going toshare with you a guide to
creating personal freedom.
There are three parts towell-being, and that is freedom,
growth and joy, and these arethe tenants that make up your
life.
Most people want these thingsin their life and they really
want freedom, they really wantjoy, but growth can be a bit
difficult.
But freedom is a big part forus as human beings and if, for
(00:54):
some reason, you're lacking anyfreedom in your life, I want to
share with you some ideas thatwill help you guide yourself
back into a state of personalfreedom, because when you begin
to feel free, the world willopen up to you and offer you
opportunities where you feelfantastic.
But it's when you feel confinedthat you say I want freedom,
(01:16):
but you actually don't have it.
So the universe is alwaysresponding to the energy that
you're sending out.
So if you say you want freedomand it's coming from a position
of I don't have it, the universecan only give you more of what
you are currently emitting.
So that's why I really want totidy this up for you and I want
to share with you someprinciples and strategies that
(01:36):
will help you find your ownfreedom.
I used to think that freedomcame by making choices of doing
whatever I wanted when I wanted,and that seems quite natural to
think that freedom came bymaking choices of doing whatever
I wanted when I wanted, andthat seems quite natural to
think like that.
But I was wrong, and I waswrong badly, because I made some
good choices and there wereconsequences to that, and I made
(01:56):
some bad choices and there weresome consequences to that.
So I want to kind of shift theword freedom, or finding freedom
(02:19):
within, by changing it, tofinding peace within, because
that is what I had to come tothrough going through years of
making serious mistakes andhaving to pay the consequences
for some of the choices andactions that I took.
But to have freedom it justrequires two things that you can
do on a day-to-day basis, andthat is practice self-control
(02:41):
and have self-discipline, and itseems as though it's the exact
opposite of what freedom ishaving self-control and
discipline, but that's exactlyhow it works.
If you want to have freedom,you've got to have disciplines
in place.
If you want to have freedom,you've got to have self-control,
because life is always lookingto give more to those who have a
(03:02):
state of responsibility wherethey can say that's enough and I
can say no to this.
Or you can say no to yourself,or you can say no to others, or
you can say no to being a slaveto something.
And most of us are slaves tosomething because we have
attachments to things, places,material goods and people, and
(03:24):
until we relinquish theattachments to that, we will
never actually be free.
So life is always a process ofletting go of certain things so
you can feel more free, morelight and more full of joy,
because that's what you are atyour core.
The word responsibility issomething I used to run away
from, because I was taught bygrown-ups who were doing the
best they could thatresponsibility isn't fun and
(03:50):
they were coming from a place ofnot necessarily understanding.
The natural law, which is theuniverse, gives more to those
who show responsibility, andeven though it might not be fun
because you're having to haveself-control.
Maybe it's like living on abudget for a while.
Or maybe it's havingself-control saying you know,
(04:10):
I'm working on making sure thatI get in fantastic shape right
now.
Or there's certain foods thatI'm going to refrain from right
now whilst I'm getting in shape.
Or even in relationships, I'mgoing to refrain from going out
with those people right now,even though it would be really
fun because I'm trying to savesome money.
Or I'm refraining from goingout with those people because I
(04:30):
don't want to drink right now.
All of these things aredemonstrating self-control and
self-discipline.
Not feel freedom from choice atthat moment of doing what you'd
really like to do.
What you're actually doing iscreating something amazing for
later, which will be immensefreedom, and that will be
(04:53):
freedom with a state of I'mhealthy and I can do certain
things that my physical bodyallows me to do, like go on big
hikes and do some really funsports.
If you are demonstrating thatyou're responsible with your
money, you've saved some money,you've invested you some money
and then you can do some thingsand go to some places and go on
(05:14):
some amazing travels becauseyou've put yourself in a
position to be able to do that,or you've demonstrated in your
relationship that you can spendsome decent amount of time by
yourself rather than going fromrelationship to relationship.
Because when you get to knowyourself and you find happiness
within and you find peace within, you're going to be mirrored by
(05:34):
the universe to a beautiful,intimate relationship because
you've taken time to be happy byyourself before jumping into
another relationship.
People often make these mistakes, so freedom really comes from
activating self-control andself-discipline.
So let's look at findingfreedom wherever you're at,
(05:55):
because that's the mostimportant part.
Wherever you're at is goodenough, and sometimes we demand
or want freedom, but we're justnot feeling it.
So how can we find a sense offreedom and fulfillment when
we're just not feeling it?
So how can we find a sense offreedom and fulfillment when
we're not really feeling it?
Well, that requires a mindsetshift and that's what I want to
share with you now.
The basis of your life isfreedom, and the real freedom
(06:16):
that you have comes from thethoughts that you think and
taking responsibility foreverything that shows up in your
life.
And as soon as you come fromthis point of view, this
perspective, you're coming froma conscious, evolved perspective
, because you realize thateverything that's happened to
you or is happening to you isserving you in some kind of way,
(06:38):
whether it's a good thing or anegative thing.
Either way, it's serving you togrow, and this is really
powerful.
But whilst your body may beconfined, whilst you may be
confined by what you're able todo with your finances right now,
maybe you're confined in yourhealth right now because of some
health condition that you mayhave.
(06:59):
Whatever you may beexperiencing, or even a
relationship that you want isn'tgoing the way you'd like it to,
freedom comes when you're ableto look at it from a different
perspective, seeing it as asetup and seeing that you have
the power to change yourthoughts first, before your
conditions change.
(07:20):
As human beings, we have tolearn to become more
unconditionally loving.
(07:47):
No-transcript a long time ago.
That I love to keep sharing onthis show is that the way you
think and the way you feel iswhat you're attracting.
And if you don't like yourcircumstances, you have to
practice to feel better beforeyour conditions can change.
(08:08):
And if you don't like yourconditions, what you need to do
is practice feeling what youwant to feel, which is a sense
of freedom, before your actualconditions can change.
Most people want to wait foreverything to change before you
can feel better, but that's nothow this works.
You are a powerful creator.
You are so powerful, but youneed to be reminded time and
(08:32):
time again, which is why I lovedoing this show to remind you of
your power, so that you canpractice some of these
strategies and principles thatwill transform your life for the
better.
Nothing will change until youchange first, and Nothing will
change until you change first,and nothing will change until
you change the way you thinkabout it first.
So you have to take ownership,you have to take responsibility
(08:55):
for all the good and all the badthat's happening in your life
right now, because at some level, you are the main actor in your
life and that's a veryliberating thing to know that
you have the power to changethat with your thinking.
Nelson mandela was in prison for25 years and it took him 25
years to find peace before he'sactually released.
(09:17):
And he made peace being in thatcell for all those years and
came out a different man thanthe man he went in and it says
that in his memoir, and it'samazing that just spending so
much time with yourself, you canfind a way to forgive what's
happening.
You can find a way to makepeace with whatever's happening,
(09:37):
no matter how difficult it mayseem, and you can find a way to
make peace with yourcircumstances, whatever they may
be.
But simultaneously, whilstyou're finding peace, you can
also find thoughts that producedifferent feelings that will
eventually change yourcircumstances.
That's empowering and that'salso the way that you find
(10:02):
personal freedom.
So let's look into the threemain areas of where you can find
personal freedom and perhapswhat strategies that you need to
have to be able to change yourperspective, change the way you
feel and then change those areas.
Because when I started applyingthese in these three areas,
that's when I saw my owntransformation, and that's when
I have also seen it in myclients lives as well, which is
(10:24):
why I love sharing thisinformation, because this stuff
really works when you work it,but it doesn't work if you don't
work it.
So the only person that cantransform your life is yourself,
but you have to take on theinformation and actually apply
it to get the experience, whichis called the wisdom.
Wisdom is experience.
Otherwise, these words are justempty.
(10:45):
So let's just look into one ofthe first areas of where you can
find personal freedom that maybe challenging you, and let's
just see if one of thesestrategies might guide you in a
more empowering direction.
If you want more freedom in yourhealth, one of the things that
you need to do and ask yourselfon a day-to to day sometimes
moment to moment basis if thisis a really important thing for
(11:08):
you is ask yourself what wouldthe healthiest version of myself
do here, or what would ahealthy person do here?
And then you have to askyourself would they do this and
what wouldn't they do?
I remember asking this tomyself regularly over 20 years
(11:28):
ago when I first started on myhealth mission, and I remember I
was getting in shape, but Iwasn't feeling really healthy,
and so I remember asking thisquestion regularly, and it was
only a matter of a few monthsbefore things really shifted and
transformed for me and havedone so for so many years and I
was asking myself this questionwhat would a healthy person do?
(11:50):
Because I'm not that healthyand I could tell, because I was
going out most nights of theweek, drinking, taking drugs,
partying, smoking.
I was using these externals totry and make myself feel better
and feel freedom, but really Iwas a slave to these substances,
to these externals.
(12:11):
And it was only when I changedwhat I was asking myself, and
then changed with the actions,that my identity changed.
And it probably changed withinabout four or five months of me
asking.
So I asked myself what would ahealthy person do in this
situation?
Would it eat that or would itnot eat that?
Would it go out there or wouldit not go out there?
(12:32):
Would it hang out with thosetypes of people or not?
What sort of activities does ahealthy person do?
And I just kept on askingmyself that.
And then I started finding booksabout health and nutrition.
So I started reading them andthen applying what I learned.
I started looking into movementand meditation and I started
(12:54):
practicing them.
And as I started practicing,these were new things that I
were doing aside from going outto a pub or a bar.
Instead, I would like stay homeand I'd meditate for like the
evening, or I'd stay home andI'd like learn how to cook a new
dish.
This was so foreign from who Iwas and it was so alien, but
little did I know.
(13:14):
Each time I was asking myselfwhat would a healthy person do?
Here I was shifting my identity.
So if you want to find personalfreedom, you need to shift your
identity, about the way you'relooking at things, and it won't
shift until you change the wayyou're looking at that situation
.
And this is super empoweringbecause I remember, within about
(13:36):
four or five months of mechanging my diet, releasing the
need to drink alcohol, takedrugs and give up smoking, it
was all because I felt thatthese owned me, these externals
owned me, and I was never goingto be free when something else
owned me, meaning theseunhealthy habits.
So ask yourself that question ifyou really want your health to
(13:58):
change, you really want to getin shape or you really want to
improve the quality of yourenergy in your life?
Because if you want more andI'm sure you want more you're
going to need a lot more energy,because energy is the thing
that turns ideas into physicalstuff.
That's how empires are built,that's how ideas are built,
that's how businesses are built,that's how you attract money.
(14:19):
You need more energy to attracthigher levels of what you
really want, which feels reallygood.
So if you want more, you'regoing to shift your energy and
that is so important for you.
And you've got to ask yourselfwhat would a healthy person do?
What would the healthiestversion of myself do?
And then go, do it.
Go and read and then apply, orlisten and apply, and until you
(14:43):
apply, it's nothing because youridentity won't have shift.
But you need to show up everysingle day for yourself, your
identity, to change and for youto experience greater freedom in
the area of health.
That's what I did and I noticed, wow, within four or five
months, I'd completely changedmy life, and I thought that it
might take way longer than that,but it didn't really.
(15:03):
One of the things that cansometimes hold you back from
feeling freedom is asking thatsort of question.
But you know, I'm not at theideal weight that I want to be,
I'm not looking the way I wantto be, and so, ultimately, every
time you're looking in themirror, you're getting feedback
of where you're at, andsometimes nothing changes
because you're constantlylooking at the feedback.
This is a way to find freedom.
Always have a lovely sentencethat is low resistance in your
(15:28):
environment, which is this willpass, this is temporary, I'm on
my way to this, things are ontheir way and working out for me
.
These type of sentences whenyou're having conversations with
other people or yourself helpyou feel positive help.
You feel empowered because youneed to build the bridge from
where you are to where you wantto be by having these beautiful,
(15:51):
easy statements in your locker,by saying things like things
are coming together for me.
This is coming together for meand, although this might not be
the way I want to look right now, it's temporary, because you
realize that everything istemporary until the condition
changes, which requiresconsistent effort and
(16:11):
consistency in showing up foryourself.
That's how everything changesand an overnight success is only
one based on consistent changeover time.
And if you want to experiencegreater freedom financially,
you've got to be very mindfulabout that.
And financial freedom can meanto a lot of people that what
(16:32):
you're receiving in terms ofincome supersedes what you're
paying with regards to yourconsumption.
But what you really want isprosperity.
You don't want just consumption, that all your needs are met.
You want all your needs metabundantly.
That's what you really want.
And to find that is differentfrom just saying I want to feel
(16:54):
freedom financially.
You want to feel completelyabundant, that all your needs
are met all the time in excess.
So that requires another changeof energy.
And the best way to begin thattrajectory and begin that energy
movement is to ask yourselfthis what does a wealthy person
(17:17):
behave like?
What does he or she do?
Study people who are successfulthat you admire, and notice
what their traits are, noticewhat their virtues are, notice
what their principles are.
What I often find with clientsthat I work with is everybody
loves to share what they'velearned, and it's so inspiring
(17:40):
to listen to people's storiesabout how they made it from
nothing to something, and you,too, can also do that.
But you have to ask thatquestion what does the
wealthiest version of myself doand behave like here?
And this is really powerful,and when I started asking that,
I noticed that my finances beganto change, and yours will too.
When you start asking andshowing up and changing your
(18:03):
identity again and again, whatdoes that person behave like?
Your identity again and again.
What does that person behavelike?
Do they have a budget?
Do they have a plan?
Do they invest?
And if you don't know how toinvest, find an area of
something that you use on aday-to-day basis.
Find a way to get shares orstocks in those, if that lights
you up, because any product thatyou buy you could potentially
(18:25):
be a shareholder or astockholder in that company that
you use because you see valuein it.
And when you own a bit of thatcompany, your shares of
appreciation in your life,meaning your net worth, goes up
as well.
This is what all wealthy peopledo.
They look to buy assets thatwill accrue in value above the
rate of inflation, and then some.
(18:47):
And if you want to becomewealthy, you really do need to
learn how to invest.
And if you are not learning howto invest right now, it means
you're only a consumer, whichmeans you'll just stay just
comfortable.
But if you want to go for big,if you want to go for large, if
you want to have the best lifeever, you've got to learn how to
invest.
And you've got to learn how tobe creative in increasing your
(19:08):
income as well, whilst keepingyour costs as low as possible,
so you've got more coming inthan going out.
Also, if you want to feel thatfreedom in your finances, where
are you controlled?
Where are you disciplined?
Are you good at having a budget?
Are you good at spending lessthan you earn?
Because these are all parts andprocesses of not only managing
(19:31):
and being responsible for yourown money and your own finances,
but also if you were to run acompany.
Most companies go bust within ayear and the reason being is
because their product or theirservice is bringing in less than
what's going out.
So it's super important to learnto have to have control and
discipline in the area offinances because remember you're
(19:52):
activating the law ofresponsibility here, and when
you are showing that you areresponsible for the money that
you have, the universe will giveyou more to manage.
Because the universe alwayswants to give and expand, and if
you're showing anddemonstrating clearly that you
can manage the money you've got,however small, it will give you
more money to manage.
This is how this principleworks.
(20:13):
The universe is based onexpansion and it's always
wanting more.
It's always wanting to givemore, and so if you have an idea
, it wants to give you more.
If you can show where you canmanage, where you're at and this
is what I've noticed in my ownexperience and in my clients'
experiences and when I'm justlooking at other people of my
friends, I've noticed, wow,they're managing that well, and
(20:36):
then they come into a lot moremoney, and I'm fascinated by
this principle, how the universeworks like that.
It's accurate, but it's funnyas well.
So be really good at managingwhat you've got and notice
everything increase as a resultof how good you're managing.
Also, you need to practicegratitude regularly, because
(20:56):
when you're grateful, you'rejust going to get more.
This is, this is just theprinciple of feeling more free
in your finances.
The more grateful you are forthe money that you receive and
when you pay for it, then thatgratitude is being reciprocated
over and over again, becauseenergy is always being sent out
into the world and when you'rehappy and thankful for what
you've got, the universe willgive you more, and it just goes
(21:19):
on like this perpetual positivecycle, rather than this negative
cycle of you feeling confined,that you can't do this or you
don't have enough.
All freedom in your financescomes from recognizing that you
are enough and that there isenough, and that the only
shortage there is is one that'sin your mind.
So, in order to change anyshortage which comes from the
(21:42):
human mind alone because if youlook into nature, nature is
abundant.
It's, it's a full of absolutelyso much, and it's only in our
human mind that we find shortage.
You know, we even think thattime, we're short of time and
that's all just a receptivestate that we're in of lack.
So we need to change our mindsfrom lack to abundant and
(22:03):
fullness, and that's where wefind freedom.
One of the ways I love to dothis is always to look at what
you can do versus what you can'tdo.
I can do this.
I could do this if I wanted to.
I could do this if I wanted to.
You know, I have this lovelygame I learned from Abraham
Hicks is you take a hundreddollars, put it in your wallet
and you go.
(22:24):
What could I do with thishundred dollars today?
And then, as you're alwaysnoticing what you can do, then
you get more.
I remember when I was doing awaiting job, I was always told
by the bosses which I reallyloved.
This analogy is like if youcan't give them a drink, show
them what else you could givethem, because don't say no, just
(22:45):
say I don't have this, but I dohave this, and that makes
people feel warm.
This is why companies thatthrive are based upon their
level of care, like apple.
If you look about how goodapple is, their care system,
apple care is really good.
Their support system yes, theproduct's really good, but if
something goes wrong, don'tworry.
(23:05):
We've got apple care to helpyou get your machinery or your
technology back on track.
That's why apple shares havesoared massively in the last
20-25 years, and this was acompany that was about to go
bust years ago.
So we're looking at theseamazing principles of generating
greater freedom, and freedomcomes from changing your
(23:27):
perspective.
Freedom comes from havingdiscipline and self-control.
And if you want to have greaterfreedom in your finances, aside
from having discipline andself-control, are you
demonstrating the virtues ofbeing reliable?
Are you demonstrating thevirtue of having integrity,
because the universe will alwaysgive more to people who are
(23:49):
demonstrating an alignment ofthought, word and deed?
This is just such a powerfulprinciple and it's one that I
use not to do, and I make it oneof my massive priorities.
And also, if you want to feelthat freedom in finances, you've
got to ask yourself what wouldthat wealthy version of myself
dress like and dress like that?
What does that wealthy personbehave and do with their money
(24:09):
here?
Would they go on that trip?
Would they not go on that trip?
Would they invest in thiscomputer?
Would they not invest in thiscomputer?
Because you've got to seeeverything as an investment.
Is it taking you to or awayfrom where you want to be?
And only you can tell whether,if you're going to spend money,
it it's going to beuncomfortable and if it's
uncomfortable, don't spend itbecause it's not going to be
(24:30):
helpful.
But if you spend somethingwhere you know it's going to
light you up and it's going tohelp you, then that's a worthy
investment.
And the best investment youcould ever have is in yourself
and in your own education of themost important things and
principles you can have forenjoying greater freedom
financially for yourself,wherever you're at, is by having
delayed gratification,recognizing that time is your
(24:52):
greatest asset, and just byputting a little now away in an
investment that will be abovethe rate of inflation will serve
you in so many years to come Imean, warren buffett says this
unless you are putting moneyaway for a minimum of six years,
it's not an investment, it's agamble.
And if you can use money to beable to invest it so that it
(25:13):
creates more above the rate ofinflation, you're going to
receive more money and gettingyour money work for you.
This is the wisest thing youcan do, which makes you feel
free because you're not worried,because your money is making
money, which means that youdon't have to turn up with your
time and energy to make money.
Your money is workingautomatically for you.
This will create freedom likeyou wouldn't believe, and one of
(25:34):
the best ways that I love toform that into being is why are
all my needs met abundantly andwhy do I invest wisely Now, if
you want your relationships toenjoy greater freedom and some
people feel that they are boundin relationships, meaning there
is no freedom, because arelationship means I'm not
allowed to do this, I'm notallowed to do this but that's
(25:56):
looking at it from a falsepremise.
Actually, relationships can beincredibly liberating when you
realize that you put yourhappiness in your own hands, not
in your partner's, or you putyour happiness in your own hands
, not the family that you'reliving with.
Your happiness is your ownresponsibility, it is nobody
else's and as soon as you getthat clear, your whole
(26:19):
relationship dynamic begins tochange.
I used to put my happiness inother people's hands and realize
, oh, I don't feel happy withthat, and so I was always
looking and working to find acommon ground to make that
relationship better, but itnever got better until I started
to do this make happiness myown mission, so everybody else
(26:40):
is off the hook.
So when I made happiness my ownmission, my relationships
improved because I'm not puttinganybody else's responsibility
to make me happy.
My expectations of another isabsolutely minimal, meaning I
have zero expectations aboutwhat they do, because people
won't always behave and work andmove in a way that you think
(27:01):
they're going to do, becausethere's so many moving parts.
But if you can make your ownhappiness your mission, your
daily goal, then you're going tofind you're going to rendezvous
with other people who are onthe same frequency, which might
mean your partner or it mightmean your family.
But it's absolutely essential toyou that you recognize that no
one else is responsible for yourhappiness other than yourself.
(27:24):
But often we become attached topeople in ways that are
unhealthy or toxic because we'restill needing them to validate
us, or toxic because we're stillneeding them to validate us.
We're still needing them tofill us up, to fill our void
where we don't feel full orvalidated by ourselves.
So that's why it's so importantto have wellbeing habits, to
bring yourself into a place ofequilibrium every single day,
(27:48):
and meditation will absolutely100% do that for you.
Finding things to appreciate inyourself and other people and
in the world will do that foryou.
Finding things to appreciate inyourself and other people and
in the world will do that foryou, will fill you up.
Movement of the body will dothat for you.
And eating good, healthy foodsand lovely meals and beverages
will do that for you.
And hanging around good feelingpeople will do that for you.
And you know what Good sleepand rest will do that for you.
(28:12):
All of these things matter whenyou recognize nothing is more
important that you feel good andyou find a way to fill your own
tank up before giving anybodyelse that responsibility.
So one of the best ways you canask yourself how can I feel free
in a relationship is what woulda healthy relationship be like?
(28:34):
What would the healthiestgood-feeling relationship where
I feel free?
What would that be like?
And start acting like that.
And if you're wanting a partnerand you don't have one, you've
got to ask yourself what wouldit be like to be in a very good,
healthy, loving, intimate,passionate, spiritual, joyful,
(28:54):
wealthy relationship?
What would that feel like?
And start behaving like thatperson now, start dressing like
that person now.
Start with everything thatyou've got in your home and in
your environment.
Ask that question and thenfollow through to the best of
your ability and start to bethat person Also on social media
.
How would you behave as thatperson now on social media?
(29:16):
And it's really importantbecause if you want your social
media accounts to bereciprocated by someone in a
certain way, you have to behavelike that now, because otherwise
you're just going to attractsomething where you feel lack,
where you feel insecure, andyour insecurities will be
(29:37):
exposed by your inability tohave connection with yourself.
And that is why finding a wayto fill yourself up, to find
your own happy space, is moreimportant than anything.
Another point to be able toenjoy greater freedom in your
relationships is can you look ata partner, can you look at your
family in a way of saying I canlove you, but without needing
(29:59):
to change you now?
That's a tricky question,because we all want to change
them to a certain extent so thatwhen we look at them we can
feel better.
But that's not how this goes.
We've got to look at someone asthey are and appreciate them as
they are.
It's through your appreciationthings begin to morph before you
.
That's why appreciation instocks and assets is so
important, because we see therise and when we complain or
(30:23):
find fault in anybody.
That's basically like thedownward trend in a market.
That's the same in yourrelationships.
If you want upward trends inyour market, find things to
complement and appreciate inother people and watch how they
change before your eyes.
Also, healthy relationships andliberating and freeing
relationships are built on trust.
So how much do you trustyourself?
(30:44):
Because that is huge.
Can you trust yourself to makegood decisions?
And in doing so, as you becomethat person who makes good
decisions and shows level oftrust, you're going to also
attract that in.
Trust is built, trust is earnedand it's earned by all the small
little actions.
So, wherever you are, are youbuilding trust with your thought
(31:07):
, words and deeds, which is whatI mentioned before?
Your thoughts, words and deedswill help build trust in other
people.
So you become reliable and thatreliability builds freedom in
your relationships, because thenyou're going to go out and
you're going to have a greattime and you recognize that the
foundation of your relationshipis built on your reliability, is
built on you being present, isbuilt on your love and your care
(31:30):
, because you do what you sayyou're going to do, and if you
don't do what you say you'regoing to do, and if you don't do
what you say you're going to do, your promises aren't kept you,
you tarnish that trust, youbreak it away.
So it's so important that youbuild that for yourself before
you enter into a relationshipwith another.
And maybe, if you've built thatinto a relationship with
someone but they're notdemonstrating it question is
(31:51):
that person for you?
Because you've got to havethose red flags that say, hey,
this person's not for me?
And that's a deal breakerbecause if they're not
demonstrating some of thevirtues and values and
principles that you hold dear toyou, then you're setting
yourself up to fail.
So it's so important that youvalue yourself enough to know
when something is a major redflag for you.
(32:13):
And relationships that thriveand are built on love and peace
and security and happiness andfreedom are ones built on trust.
In a relationship, it's soimportant that you can share
your troubles with somebody else.
And if you are not able toshare your troubles in a way
that will be listened to andheard, rather than being pushed
(32:34):
back where the other personfeels as though they're being
vindictive against you, that isstill coming from a place of ego
.
So it's so important that wedrop the ego in our
relationships and come back intothe heart, because the heart is
one where you're able to saythis is the pain that I'm
feeling and I want to share itwith you and I'm wanting to work
through this and I'm wanting toheal with you, because some of
(32:56):
the most amazing relationshipsyou ever have will be based on
you both mutually healingtogether, because this is wisdom
.
And when you're both wanting tocome from a place of saying,
hey, I want to have a fantasticrelationship and I want to have
that fantastic relationship withmyself and with you, and I
recognize that I'm having todeal with some of these wounds
(33:18):
that I'm trying to heal and I'mjust trying to share that with
you.
And that kind of upset me whatyou said, because the ego will
always push back with resistance.
But when you can both come froma place of heart and you can
both come of place of, hey, I'mjust trying to do the best I can
, I'm going to recognize I wantto work through this and the
other person can also say thesame, that will be a very
(33:40):
freeing and liberatingrelationship, because there will
always be things in your lifethat you need to work through.
But can you do that in a waywhere you're coming from the
heart rather than the ego.
This is what creates abeautiful relationship, not only
with yourself, but with others.
Ultimately, everything you'relooking for all starts with you
and all finishes with you, butyou share your journey with
(34:02):
others because in relationships,it's not so much what you say
to people, it's how that theymade you feel, that leaves a
lasting impression, and thatcomes from the heart and that
comes from the soul.
So these are some of the waysthat you can look to find
greater personal freedom in yourlife and in what you're doing
(34:23):
in some of the core areas ofhealth, finances and
relationships.
Now, I could go even deeper onthese subjects, but these are
just sort of touching some ofthe surface areas where you can
actually begin to havestrategies.
My favorite one is just askyourself what would that version
of myself behave like now?
And then go, do it on a momentto moment basis.
(34:43):
I noticed, as soon as I starteddoing this in all of those
three areas, my life began tochange, and yours will too, when
you ask better questions.
I hope you've enjoyed today'sepisode and thank you so much
for tuning in, and I soappreciate all the support your
support allows me to keepbringing you top quality content
that will transform your lifefor the better.
(35:05):
It's done it for me and loadsof my clients, so it will also
for you if you work it.
Nothing will change until youchange, and if you haven't yet
already, please considersubscribing, because when you
subscribe you can get the latestcontent that comes out.
Thank you so much and until thenext time.
I wish you a wonderful weekahead and green lights all the
(35:26):
way.
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