April 8, 2024 • 19 mins
Have you ever found yourself trapped in the cycle of perfectionism, unable to move forward because you fear not being good enough? If so, you're not alone. In today's episode, Kristen explores the concept of perfection paralysis through the lens of a student's journey from a coaching call within the Academy.
She fell into the trap of believing the story, "I don't know what I'm doing." Sound familiar? Listen as Kristen provides invaluable guidance on how to shift out of a perfection paralysis mindset.
Let’s look at a few highlights:
-
It’s okay not to have all the answers. The key lies in a commitment to continuous learning and growth.
-
Perfectionism, Kristen pointed out, often leads to feelings of overwhelm, resulting in a state of paralysis.
-
Confidence is built through taking action. When we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect, we only end up freezing in fear.
-
We don't have to prove ourselves or perform for others. When we remove that expectation, we can show up authentically and attract the right opportunities.
So, if you've ever felt stuck in the pursuit of perfection, know that you're not alone. Take inspiration from this story and remember: it's okay not to have all the answers. Embrace imperfection, take action, and trust in your ability to figure it out as you go along. That's where true growth and success lie.
Did you hear? The Rise Up Summit, happening 4/19-20 in Denver, CO, is the room you need to be in.
Every single component of this in-person event will help you grow your audience, your team, and your paycheck THIS YEAR. In this industry, we rise and grow the most when we have someone doing it alongside us…
Get your ticket now! https://www.kristenboss.com/summit
Can’t make it in person? Grab your virtual ticket here for $29
Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https:/Kristenboss.com/question
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
I see you with brand new eyes
no, I've never been so sure
take my headlights.
You are listening to the Kristen Boss podcast. I'm your host,
(00:23):
Kristen Boss. As a best selling author and performance coach,
I'm on a mission to share about sustainable and purposeful approaches to both
business and business life. Each week, I bring relevant topics
that I believe are necessary to create a life of purpose,
significance, and meaning. Entrepreneurship is about so
much more than growing your bottom line. It's about who you are becoming in the
(00:45):
process and building a life that is truly
extraordinary. Entrepreneurship is
really just the beginning.
Hey, bosses. Welcome to another week of the podcast. So glad
you are here. This week I have a special episode for you. If you have
ever been somebody who struggles with the fear of
(01:07):
implementing and taking action because you feel like you don't know what you're doing or
you have perfectionistic tendencies, or you have a fear of how
people see you implement. Especially if you lead a team. If you are somebody who
leads a team and you're like, I can't look like I don't know what I'm
doing. My team is watching me. I'm actually bringing
in a piece of coaching that I did with a student inside the
(01:28):
academy, and it was actually last year. And what's so fun is you're going to
listen to this call and I guarantee you are going to relate to this student
who about how she struggles with confidence and how she found
herself in paralysis and overwhelm and not taking the action she
knew she should be taking because at some point she started believing the
story, I don't know what I'm doing. And it really took
(01:50):
a toll on her confidence and her ability to just implement and take
action in her business. And she noticed that things were kind of stalling out. Her
business wasn't growing and she knew she needed to be in action. So you're going
to hear this coaching about how we kind of shifted her mindset.
And what's super fun about this is six months after this coaching,
this student actually came back on a call with me and told me how everything
(02:12):
had changed in her business after she took this coaching, she
went to work, she served her team, and in fact, uh, I believe
it was the six months later, she actually applied for leadership school because she's
like, you know what? I am confident and I'm ready to lead my team. So
I know you're going to get so much value from this student story because I
guarantee you have, even if you don't lead a team, you probably have struggled with
(02:34):
this yourself. And I like to call it perfection paralysis. Not
necessarily analysis paralysis, because I think analyzing, like,
yeah, it's the, it's the desire to not fail to do
it right. But I actually think perfectionism almost
always causes paralysis on some level. And it, like, we, we
judge ourselves when we don't feel we're measuring up to some invisible
(02:57):
and impossible bar. So I know this will be tremendous
value to you, but before we get started, don't forget to
grab your virtual ticket for the rise up summit. We have
the lower virtual ticket option. For only $29, you can head
to kristenboss.com/summit. Check the link in
the show notes. It only gives you access to recordings for seven days. So if
(03:19):
you want ongoing access, you do need to upgrade to the VIP ticket to
unlock all of the special bonuses. You guys, I am so excited for what I'm
going to be delivering to you. I have huge, huge announcements
coming in the next 60 days. One of those announcements will be at the
Rise Up Summit. I almost call it rising leader because. That'S what it was last
year. But the rise up summit, I'll be making a huge announcement, especially
(03:41):
if you are part of my founders or early adopters of leadership school.
You need to be there because I have amazing, exciting news for
you and just the things I've been thinking about and how to better
serve this industry. The gaps have been seen specifically in the last twelve to
18 months. And I believe what we are
going to be putting out there for you guys in the next 90
(04:03):
days is going to blow your mind. So be sure to grab your ticket and
if you haven't already left a review for the podcast, please do so. It actually
helps us get discovered and share it with a few friends who, you know, might
also struggle with perfection paralysis. So without further ado,
give this coaching call a listen. Let's talk about this.
You've been stuck at a rank for a year. Yeah, I mean, what's
(04:25):
going on? I've been stuck at it for two years.
Okay. And I was really
close to the next rank. I was like building towards
it. And then the girl that I was working with,
she quit. And so then I've just kind of been
chilling at this rank, and it's not a bad rank
(04:46):
by any means. I have a really great paycheck
from it. It's like I've been able to quit my job
and work strictly from home. Yes.
But it's just really like I've just lost. And then my
upline, who was like my best friend
decided to leave back in February, and that was,
(05:08):
like, a huge blow to my
confidence because I just felt really
alone. And so now I feel like with my leaders and
my team, like, I don't know how. I don't know
how to grow and I don't know what to teach them because I feel like
I don't know what I'm doing. Why do you feel
(05:30):
like you don't know what you're doing? Because clearly you got here.
Why are you telling yourself, like, I don't know how? It's almost like you're saying,
I don't know how I got here because in. My last
company, like, I failed. Like, I never built a
team. I never ranked up. And so with this
one, I just
(05:51):
attracted, like, when I joined and I posted,
I attracted some people from other companies that were very successful.
And the story that I got
from one of them was, well, you don't really know what you're
doing because of the last company, so
I'll help you with it. And then she kind
(06:14):
of checked out, too, but the story is,
like, still there. Like, I don't know what I'm doing
because I've never been successful before.
But you're successful now. But not in my
mind. Why not? Why are you not successful in your
mind? Because people on my team
(06:37):
about ranked me. People on my team about sold
me. And so it's like, well, I don't know how to
teach other people to come in and do
and grow, but. You posted and
had attracted people to your team. That wasn't an accident. You created
that. Do you think that was luck?
(07:01):
Yeah, but there's so many other people they could have chosen, chosen to go with.
They picked you.
But I don't, I don't know. I don't believe
it. What if I were to tell you, like, people
outranking you isn't a talent problem and it's not because
you don't know what you're doing. It's just because you decided, I don't know what
(07:22):
I'm doing and stop doing, and they just decided, I'll figure
it out as I go, and we're just going to go. But why can't,
what if you were just committed to, like, maybe I don't know what I'm doing,
but I'm committed to figuring it out. And that's
where I, like, get stuck. Okay,
tell me about this. Yeah, I
(07:44):
mean, I literally will. Like, I went through when
my upline left in February, I just
froze. I didn't post. I, like maintained
the relationships with my customers, and I led my team so that I could hold
my rank. But, like, as far as my social
media, I froze. Like, I just didn't
(08:06):
know I was, like, when my uplines left me, one of my downline
has left me. Like, maybe these people are leaving because I'm not good
and I'm not aw. It has
really hurt a lot. Okay.
That would. Okay, the reason why it hurt
was because of what you made it mean. Someone leaving. It could have
(08:29):
just been they found something that maybe was a better fit for them,
but you made it. Something's wrong with me, which is
why people are leaving. And that is a really painful story to have,
but I want to offer to you. It's an optional story.
Yes. You don't. You don't have to hold that anymore. Now, what
(08:50):
made the story feel true to you is because you were sitting on evidence of,
like, I was told, I don't know what I'm doing. So it must be me.
It must be true. Instead
of. And it's. It's like you've allowed other people
to define your sense of self.
You know, someone has said, you don't know what you're doing. And in your brain,
(09:13):
you. Instead of challenging them and being like, screw that. I know what I'm
doing. You said, we're like, yeah, you're probably right, because I didn't have success over
there. You must be right. Instead of.
Or what if it's just not a bad thing that you don't know what you're
doing? What if we just locked the shame away
from it and we just made it? I don't know what I'm doing. You know
(09:33):
what, Ali? None of us know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm winging
it.
Let me give you an example, and I think it would be helpful for you.
I was at this conference, and there. Was a really successful person on stage, and
she was going to build $100 million company, and people were like,
how are you going to do it? How are you going to do it and
(09:54):
do what? Her response was. She was like, I don't know. I'm figuring it out.
I'll tell you when I get there.
And this is somebody with a $35 million a year
company in a room full of people, and they're like, how are you going to
do it? She's like, I don't know. I'll let you know when I get
there. She's like, I'm figuring it out. But she's not
(10:16):
making like, because she doesn't know how to get there,
mean that she can't get there or that something's wrong with her. She's like,
I'm just figuring it out. What if it's
like, welcome to being an entrepreneur. You're actually join
the rest of us. We're all figuring it out.
Yeah. Could that. Could that
(10:38):
maybe feel believable to you.
That I'm figuring it out, but it doesn't mean I don't
know. Yeah. That
that's believable. Yeah.
Because what. What do we know? What does it mean to, like,
know? I don't know what to do. I'd be like, listen, half the people I
(11:00):
coach on any. On one, at least one day a week, they're like, I don't
know what I'm doing, but I'm figuring it out. I don't know what to do,
but I'm figuring it out.
Okay, so what if. Allie, what if you don't know?
So what then? What.
(11:21):
I can say? I can figure it out. Yeah. What would that look like
for you? Showing up
consistently? Yeah.
You know, the best way to know is to do
just a lot of doing. And eventually, you know,
(11:43):
because everything is theory until we take a lot of
action, and then from action, we get feedback. And then from that
feedback, then we have a sense of knowledge. Yeah.
So without. Can you see how, like, not taking action has only
validated. I don't know. You're right. You don't know what you don't know because you
haven't been out there getting to know. I've been living, and I don't
(12:05):
know. But the only thing that made
it, that got it in this, us, in this paralysis lip, is you made
not knowing mean something was wrong with you.
Yeah. Or mean that you were unworthy or that you weren't a
good leader instead of. Nobody knows what
they're doing. And I know that. Trust me, I know. I coach thousands of
(12:26):
people. If everybody knew,
I wouldn't have any students in this academy. Oh, well, that's
true. There are 5000 people in this academy that don't
know. And guess what? There's 5000 people
committed to figuring it out. That's. I mean,
that's. I feel like it just opens up a lot.
(12:50):
It's just relief, I guess.
Okay, go. Okay.
Your mom's getting coaching.
Yeah, but it just gives relief. Like, I
don't feel, like this pressure that I have to know
(13:12):
before I can do. That's right. That I
can just do. And then maybe I'll know, but maybe I won't, but I'll have
experience. And you're just gonna. Yes. And here's the
thing. When you do not, something not
working out is a form of knowing, being like, well, I now know
that this method is not the best method, and I'm going to
(13:34):
keep doing, and eventually I'm going to find the method that works.
That's really what it is. Do it with my team. We just, we're just
trying stuff all day. Sometimes I feel like I'm a scientist. I'm like, well, let's
try that. Let's test that. Do an entrepreneurship. And marketing is.
Marketing is taking a theory. It's taking an idea,
not having any idea if it's going to work. You don't know. You're like, you're
(13:56):
posing a theory and you apply it and you test
it, and then you get feedback on the theory, and then you
find out, was my hypothesis correct, yes or
no? It was not correct. Now we form a new hypothesis,
or it was correct. Now we double down on it. Okay.
And it's going to be the same for you. I want you to kind of
(14:17):
just see it as like, I'm just going to go out there and gather data.
And the more data I get, the more confident I will become as
well. Do you want to. Do you know where confidence comes from?
Nowhere. Doing sister. Doing.
Well, that's it. I just need to be doing a lot. Yeah.
(14:39):
Doing confidence comes from taking the action. And so many people think
confidence is here. Yeah, it is. In the sense of, like,
believing. Yeah, I can do this. I can figure it out. But I really
believe confidence comes from taking action, being
willing to put yourself out there. And when you see yourself as somebody that takes
action and gets data, you become more and more confident.
(15:01):
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah. So what's the purpose of posting when you leave this call?
Why are we posting? To do. To
get experience. Yeah. What else?
To attract people. Yeah. To figure
out what works, what resonates. Be like, does my audience like this?
(15:24):
That one got. That one got low feedback, low data.
Okay, let's try this. Oh, that one got better insights.
Why? Okay, we'll do one kind of like that. Here's
what I'm going to tell you. You're not going out. You're not going out to
post to prove anything to anyone. It
is not about proving, and it's not
(15:46):
about you going out and suddenly, like, getting all the
customers and blowing up your paycheck. Because if you're telling yourself,
I got a post to bring in the people so that I can
believe I'm good at this. Now we're just setting ourselves up for a crap
show instead of, I'm going out to post because I'm just figuring stuff out right
now. Okay. And if this post creates a customer,
(16:08):
great. If it doesn't, we're going to post again.
We're just removing all the pressure from your activity.
Did you hear that? Yeah. It's all good. All right.
I had a call. Yeah. How does, how does that feel to you? Like, when
you think of, like, taking the action and getting back out there from
(16:29):
this context, how does that feel?
I feel a lot less pressure. I feel like I've had all this
pressure because I have a team and because I had
attracted these people. And then, you know, as you say, life
happened, and so then I just got frozen and I was like, well, I have
to know what I'm doing before I can post and before I can
(16:51):
do because I have a team that's watching. And so now it's
like, no, I can just own it with my team and be like, we're just
learning and we're figuring it out and we're going to post and we're going to
do, and then we'll look at the doing and figure out the answers
from there. Like, I. You have no idea how much relief I feel
because I'm glad in
(17:12):
paralysis for months.
Like, I just feel so much relief because
there's not pressure. Like, it's just, I can go out there and do.
Yeah. And I want to encourage, have fun. I feel like when the pressure is
gone, it gets to be fun again. Yeah.
We get to be our goofy fun, whatever your most authentic
(17:36):
self is. When we take off the pressure. When we take off, I have to
prove. I have to perform this, has to do these things. I have to prove
that I can do this. And I know what I'm doing when that all is
taken off the table. And it's like I'm just here to. Show up and learn
some things and figure some stuff out. It becomes so much more fun. And
guess what? When you're showing up as that person, you attract
people. I really like
(17:59):
that. And I'll bet you that was who you were when you
first started posting. I'll bet you you were just in, like, a really inspired,
fun place, right? Free spirit,
euphoric, just living off the, like, oh, I'll just post this. Oh, of course
you attracted some high caliber people because you were like,
free spirit. People are attracted to your energy,
(18:22):
not your knowing. Well,
that's a powerful statement. Hmm.
It was like a t shirt. You were attracted to my energy,
not my knowing. Golly, that
just resonated. Write that down. Put it on your
mirror. Yes.
(18:47):
I'm excited for you. Me too. Let's
go.
That's a wrap for today's episode. Listen, if you love what you heard here
today, I would love for you to leave a real quick rating and a review.
This helps the show get discovered by new people. Be sure to take a screenshot
(19:10):
of today's episode and shout us out on Instagram will shout you right back
out. If you'd like to find additional resources or discover how to work with
me, head to
www.kristenboss.com.
It starts right here.
I see you with brand new eyes
no, I've never been so sure
take my headlights.
You are listening to the Kristen Boss podcast. I'm your host,
(00:23):
Kristen Boss. As a best selling author and performance coach,
I'm on a mission to share about sustainable and purposeful approaches to both
business and business life. Each week, I bring relevant topics
that I believe are necessary to create a life of purpose,
significance, and meaning. Entrepreneurship is about so
much more than growing your bottom line. It's about who you are becoming in the
(00:45):
process and building a life that is truly
extraordinary. Entrepreneurship is
really just the beginning.
Hey, bosses. Welcome to another week of the podcast. So glad
you are here. This week I have a special episode for you. If you have
ever been somebody who struggles with the fear of
(01:07):
implementing and taking action because you feel like you don't know what you're doing or
you have perfectionistic tendencies, or you have a fear of how
people see you implement. Especially if you lead a team. If you are somebody who
leads a team and you're like, I can't look like I don't know what I'm
doing. My team is watching me. I'm actually bringing
in a piece of coaching that I did with a student inside the
(01:28):
academy, and it was actually last year. And what's so fun is you're going to
listen to this call and I guarantee you are going to relate to this student
who about how she struggles with confidence and how she found
herself in paralysis and overwhelm and not taking the action she
knew she should be taking because at some point she started believing the
story, I don't know what I'm doing. And it really took
(01:50):
a toll on her confidence and her ability to just implement and take
action in her business. And she noticed that things were kind of stalling out. Her
business wasn't growing and she knew she needed to be in action. So you're going
to hear this coaching about how we kind of shifted her mindset.
And what's super fun about this is six months after this coaching,
this student actually came back on a call with me and told me how everything
(02:12):
had changed in her business after she took this coaching, she
went to work, she served her team, and in fact, uh, I believe
it was the six months later, she actually applied for leadership school because she's
like, you know what? I am confident and I'm ready to lead my team. So
I know you're going to get so much value from this student story because I
guarantee you have, even if you don't lead a team, you probably have struggled with
(02:34):
this yourself. And I like to call it perfection paralysis. Not
necessarily analysis paralysis, because I think analyzing, like,
yeah, it's the, it's the desire to not fail to do
it right. But I actually think perfectionism almost
always causes paralysis on some level. And it, like, we, we
judge ourselves when we don't feel we're measuring up to some invisible
(02:57):
and impossible bar. So I know this will be tremendous
value to you, but before we get started, don't forget to
grab your virtual ticket for the rise up summit. We have
the lower virtual ticket option. For only $29, you can head
to kristenboss.com/summit. Check the link in
the show notes. It only gives you access to recordings for seven days. So if
(03:19):
you want ongoing access, you do need to upgrade to the VIP ticket to
unlock all of the special bonuses. You guys, I am so excited for what I'm
going to be delivering to you. I have huge, huge announcements
coming in the next 60 days. One of those announcements will be at the
Rise Up Summit. I almost call it rising leader because. That'S what it was last
year. But the rise up summit, I'll be making a huge announcement, especially
(03:41):
if you are part of my founders or early adopters of leadership school.
You need to be there because I have amazing, exciting news for
you and just the things I've been thinking about and how to better
serve this industry. The gaps have been seen specifically in the last twelve to
18 months. And I believe what we are
going to be putting out there for you guys in the next 90
(04:03):
days is going to blow your mind. So be sure to grab your ticket and
if you haven't already left a review for the podcast, please do so. It actually
helps us get discovered and share it with a few friends who, you know, might
also struggle with perfection paralysis. So without further ado,
give this coaching call a listen. Let's talk about this.
You've been stuck at a rank for a year. Yeah, I mean, what's
(04:25):
going on? I've been stuck at it for two years.
Okay. And I was really
close to the next rank. I was like building towards
it. And then the girl that I was working with,
she quit. And so then I've just kind of been
chilling at this rank, and it's not a bad rank
(04:46):
by any means. I have a really great paycheck
from it. It's like I've been able to quit my job
and work strictly from home. Yes.
But it's just really like I've just lost. And then my
upline, who was like my best friend
decided to leave back in February, and that was,
(05:08):
like, a huge blow to my
confidence because I just felt really
alone. And so now I feel like with my leaders and
my team, like, I don't know how. I don't know
how to grow and I don't know what to teach them because I feel like
I don't know what I'm doing. Why do you feel
(05:30):
like you don't know what you're doing? Because clearly you got here.
Why are you telling yourself, like, I don't know how? It's almost like you're saying,
I don't know how I got here because in. My last
company, like, I failed. Like, I never built a
team. I never ranked up. And so with this
one, I just
(05:51):
attracted, like, when I joined and I posted,
I attracted some people from other companies that were very successful.
And the story that I got
from one of them was, well, you don't really know what you're
doing because of the last company, so
I'll help you with it. And then she kind
(06:14):
of checked out, too, but the story is,
like, still there. Like, I don't know what I'm doing
because I've never been successful before.
But you're successful now. But not in my
mind. Why not? Why are you not successful in your
mind? Because people on my team
(06:37):
about ranked me. People on my team about sold
me. And so it's like, well, I don't know how to
teach other people to come in and do
and grow, but. You posted and
had attracted people to your team. That wasn't an accident. You created
that. Do you think that was luck?
(07:01):
Yeah, but there's so many other people they could have chosen, chosen to go with.
They picked you.
But I don't, I don't know. I don't believe
it. What if I were to tell you, like, people
outranking you isn't a talent problem and it's not because
you don't know what you're doing. It's just because you decided, I don't know what
(07:22):
I'm doing and stop doing, and they just decided, I'll figure
it out as I go, and we're just going to go. But why can't,
what if you were just committed to, like, maybe I don't know what I'm doing,
but I'm committed to figuring it out. And that's
where I, like, get stuck. Okay,
tell me about this. Yeah, I
(07:44):
mean, I literally will. Like, I went through when
my upline left in February, I just
froze. I didn't post. I, like maintained
the relationships with my customers, and I led my team so that I could hold
my rank. But, like, as far as my social
media, I froze. Like, I just didn't
(08:06):
know I was, like, when my uplines left me, one of my downline
has left me. Like, maybe these people are leaving because I'm not good
and I'm not aw. It has
really hurt a lot. Okay.
That would. Okay, the reason why it hurt
was because of what you made it mean. Someone leaving. It could have
(08:29):
just been they found something that maybe was a better fit for them,
but you made it. Something's wrong with me, which is
why people are leaving. And that is a really painful story to have,
but I want to offer to you. It's an optional story.
Yes. You don't. You don't have to hold that anymore. Now, what
(08:50):
made the story feel true to you is because you were sitting on evidence of,
like, I was told, I don't know what I'm doing. So it must be me.
It must be true. Instead
of. And it's. It's like you've allowed other people
to define your sense of self.
You know, someone has said, you don't know what you're doing. And in your brain,
(09:13):
you. Instead of challenging them and being like, screw that. I know what I'm
doing. You said, we're like, yeah, you're probably right, because I didn't have success over
there. You must be right. Instead of.
Or what if it's just not a bad thing that you don't know what you're
doing? What if we just locked the shame away
from it and we just made it? I don't know what I'm doing. You know
(09:33):
what, Ali? None of us know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm winging
it.
Let me give you an example, and I think it would be helpful for you.
I was at this conference, and there. Was a really successful person on stage, and
she was going to build $100 million company, and people were like,
how are you going to do it? How are you going to do it and
(09:54):
do what? Her response was. She was like, I don't know. I'm figuring it out.
I'll tell you when I get there.
And this is somebody with a $35 million a year
company in a room full of people, and they're like, how are you going to
do it? She's like, I don't know. I'll let you know when I get
there. She's like, I'm figuring it out. But she's not
(10:16):
making like, because she doesn't know how to get there,
mean that she can't get there or that something's wrong with her. She's like,
I'm just figuring it out. What if it's
like, welcome to being an entrepreneur. You're actually join
the rest of us. We're all figuring it out.
Yeah. Could that. Could that
(10:38):
maybe feel believable to you.
That I'm figuring it out, but it doesn't mean I don't
know. Yeah. That
that's believable. Yeah.
Because what. What do we know? What does it mean to, like,
know? I don't know what to do. I'd be like, listen, half the people I
(11:00):
coach on any. On one, at least one day a week, they're like, I don't
know what I'm doing, but I'm figuring it out. I don't know what to do,
but I'm figuring it out.
Okay, so what if. Allie, what if you don't know?
So what then? What.
(11:21):
I can say? I can figure it out. Yeah. What would that look like
for you? Showing up
consistently? Yeah.
You know, the best way to know is to do
just a lot of doing. And eventually, you know,
(11:43):
because everything is theory until we take a lot of
action, and then from action, we get feedback. And then from that
feedback, then we have a sense of knowledge. Yeah.
So without. Can you see how, like, not taking action has only
validated. I don't know. You're right. You don't know what you don't know because you
haven't been out there getting to know. I've been living, and I don't
(12:05):
know. But the only thing that made
it, that got it in this, us, in this paralysis lip, is you made
not knowing mean something was wrong with you.
Yeah. Or mean that you were unworthy or that you weren't a
good leader instead of. Nobody knows what
they're doing. And I know that. Trust me, I know. I coach thousands of
(12:26):
people. If everybody knew,
I wouldn't have any students in this academy. Oh, well, that's
true. There are 5000 people in this academy that don't
know. And guess what? There's 5000 people
committed to figuring it out. That's. I mean,
that's. I feel like it just opens up a lot.
(12:50):
It's just relief, I guess.
Okay, go. Okay.
Your mom's getting coaching.
Yeah, but it just gives relief. Like, I
don't feel, like this pressure that I have to know
(13:12):
before I can do. That's right. That I
can just do. And then maybe I'll know, but maybe I won't, but I'll have
experience. And you're just gonna. Yes. And here's the
thing. When you do not, something not
working out is a form of knowing, being like, well, I now know
that this method is not the best method, and I'm going to
(13:34):
keep doing, and eventually I'm going to find the method that works.
That's really what it is. Do it with my team. We just, we're just
trying stuff all day. Sometimes I feel like I'm a scientist. I'm like, well, let's
try that. Let's test that. Do an entrepreneurship. And marketing is.
Marketing is taking a theory. It's taking an idea,
not having any idea if it's going to work. You don't know. You're like, you're
(13:56):
posing a theory and you apply it and you test
it, and then you get feedback on the theory, and then you
find out, was my hypothesis correct, yes or
no? It was not correct. Now we form a new hypothesis,
or it was correct. Now we double down on it. Okay.
And it's going to be the same for you. I want you to kind of
(14:17):
just see it as like, I'm just going to go out there and gather data.
And the more data I get, the more confident I will become as
well. Do you want to. Do you know where confidence comes from?
Nowhere. Doing sister. Doing.
Well, that's it. I just need to be doing a lot. Yeah.
(14:39):
Doing confidence comes from taking the action. And so many people think
confidence is here. Yeah, it is. In the sense of, like,
believing. Yeah, I can do this. I can figure it out. But I really
believe confidence comes from taking action, being
willing to put yourself out there. And when you see yourself as somebody that takes
action and gets data, you become more and more confident.
(15:01):
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah. So what's the purpose of posting when you leave this call?
Why are we posting? To do. To
get experience. Yeah. What else?
To attract people. Yeah. To figure
out what works, what resonates. Be like, does my audience like this?
(15:24):
That one got. That one got low feedback, low data.
Okay, let's try this. Oh, that one got better insights.
Why? Okay, we'll do one kind of like that. Here's
what I'm going to tell you. You're not going out. You're not going out to
post to prove anything to anyone. It
is not about proving, and it's not
(15:46):
about you going out and suddenly, like, getting all the
customers and blowing up your paycheck. Because if you're telling yourself,
I got a post to bring in the people so that I can
believe I'm good at this. Now we're just setting ourselves up for a crap
show instead of, I'm going out to post because I'm just figuring stuff out right
now. Okay. And if this post creates a customer,
(16:08):
great. If it doesn't, we're going to post again.
We're just removing all the pressure from your activity.
Did you hear that? Yeah. It's all good. All right.
I had a call. Yeah. How does, how does that feel to you? Like, when
you think of, like, taking the action and getting back out there from
(16:29):
this context, how does that feel?
I feel a lot less pressure. I feel like I've had all this
pressure because I have a team and because I had
attracted these people. And then, you know, as you say, life
happened, and so then I just got frozen and I was like, well, I have
to know what I'm doing before I can post and before I can
(16:51):
do because I have a team that's watching. And so now it's
like, no, I can just own it with my team and be like, we're just
learning and we're figuring it out and we're going to post and we're going to
do, and then we'll look at the doing and figure out the answers
from there. Like, I. You have no idea how much relief I feel
because I'm glad in
(17:12):
paralysis for months.
Like, I just feel so much relief because
there's not pressure. Like, it's just, I can go out there and do.
Yeah. And I want to encourage, have fun. I feel like when the pressure is
gone, it gets to be fun again. Yeah.
We get to be our goofy fun, whatever your most authentic
(17:36):
self is. When we take off the pressure. When we take off, I have to
prove. I have to perform this, has to do these things. I have to prove
that I can do this. And I know what I'm doing when that all is
taken off the table. And it's like I'm just here to. Show up and learn
some things and figure some stuff out. It becomes so much more fun. And
guess what? When you're showing up as that person, you attract
people. I really like
(17:59):
that. And I'll bet you that was who you were when you
first started posting. I'll bet you you were just in, like, a really inspired,
fun place, right? Free spirit,
euphoric, just living off the, like, oh, I'll just post this. Oh, of course
you attracted some high caliber people because you were like,
free spirit. People are attracted to your energy,
(18:22):
not your knowing. Well,
that's a powerful statement. Hmm.
It was like a t shirt. You were attracted to my energy,
not my knowing. Golly, that
just resonated. Write that down. Put it on your
mirror. Yes.
(18:47):
I'm excited for you. Me too. Let's
go.
That's a wrap for today's episode. Listen, if you love what you heard here
today, I would love for you to leave a real quick rating and a review.
This helps the show get discovered by new people. Be sure to take a screenshot
(19:10):
of today's episode and shout us out on Instagram will shout you right back
out. If you'd like to find additional resources or discover how to work with
me, head to
www.kristenboss.com.
It starts right here.
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