This week Kristen Boss dives deep into a sneaky and self-sabotaging pattern that shows up in goal-setting—guilt-driven goals. As the end of the year approaches, many people fall into the trap of using shame and guilt to set overcompensating goals, only to end up feeling burned out, unmotivated, and even more disconnected from themselves.
Kristen breaks down how guilt-fueled goals are rooted in shame rather than genuine desire, and why they often lead to failure, burnout, and eroded self-trust. She challenges listeners to shift their goal-setting framework from punishment to purpose, offering tangible questions and mindset shifts to help you set kinder, self-honoring goals that actually stick.
Plus, Kristen shares personal anecdotes, coaching insights from inside her Sonara Signature membership, and offers a sneak peek into her upcoming 3-Day Challenge: The Success Rewire—designed to help you radically shift how you approach goals in 2026.
Key Takeaways:
- Guilt-driven goals are reactionary and come from shame, not purpose.
- These goals often ignore your current season, bandwidth, and values.
- Guilt only creates short-term compliance—not sustainable change.
- Self-compassion and values-based goals create lasting motivation.
- Small, kind, consistent goals build self-trust and long-term success.
Questions to Reflect On:
- Is this goal coming from shame or desire?
- Would I still want this goal if no one was watching?
- Does this goal feel kind and aligned with my current season of life?
Mentioned in This Episode:
🌟 The Success Rewire — Kristen’s new 3-day event to help you set meaningful goals that align with your values and create lasting results. Just $9 to join!
📅 Dates: December 8–10 | Replay available | Get your ticket here.
Timestamps:
00:00 – Welcome + intro to guilt-driven goals
01:54 – Year-end urgency and the guilt trap
04:34 – Upcoming 3-day event: The Success Rewire
06:18 – Real-life coaching example of a guilt-driven goal
09:11 – How shame hijacks your objectivity
14:56 – Guilt goals vs. kind, values-based goals
22:36 – How your nervous system reacts to shame
25:23 – The hidden cost: eroded self-trust
29:33 – Turning guilt into sustainable change
32:00 – Anchoring goals in identity and self-love
35:32 – The slow and sustainable path
37:53 – Kristen’s personal reflections on failure and resilience
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