Episode 61: A Very Special Episode

Fan Mail Goes Here!!

Join Christine, Sarah, and Becca as they dive into a uniquely chaotic yet enlightening episode of 'The Mental Funny Bone.' The trio embarks on a recount of The Gaster Girls weekend meditation retreat at the ominous sounding Omega Institute.  The sisters explain to Becca how they navigate everything from the challenges of the silent retreat to humorous mishaps involving cold medicine and tiny cabins. Discover the warm-hearted and often hilarious chronicles of their shared experiences, along with deep musings on mental health, self-compassion, and the universal journey to be better humans. Amid the jokes and jabs lie powerful reflections on vulnerability and the courage to be kind—to others and oneself.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Episode Transcript

Chris (00:03):
Angry.
Hello and welcome to the MentalFunny Bone.

Sarah (00:06):
Why are you angry?

Chris (00:08):
Because your nails are pretty and mine Aren, and I look
like toddler.

Sarah (00:11):
That is not what we learned this weekend.

Chris (00:13):
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
I think that comes up later.

Sarah (00:16):
Okay, continue.
Continue with the intro.
Why such a

Becca (00:19):
dick?
Right.
Uh, this is a podcast where wehold each other accountable for
not being good people.
Oh.
Also, and

Chris (00:27):
we talk about mental health and think about ways that
we can be better, better people,and uh, sort of spread the
awareness of, uh, why it's not abad thing to tell people that,
that you're suffering.
'cause that way you don't sufferalone.

Sarah (00:44):
I like it.

Chris (00:45):
There we go.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm Christine.

Sarah (00:47):
I'm Sarah.

Becca (00:49):
And I'm Becca.

Sarah (00:50):
Well done ladies.
Well done.
Well done.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.

Chris (00:53):
Okay.
That might be our third bestintro yet.
So today we are gonna talk toyou guys about, it's a very
special episode.
Of the mental funny bone.
Just like back in the day,Becca, we used to have very
special episodes of all of oursitcoms.
Like a very special episode ofThe Cosby Show.
Oh, sorry.
Maybe a bad one to pick.

Becca (01:15):
I was gonna be, I didn't wanna say anything, but I was
like, Ooh, that's, that's allright.
Sorry.
A

Chris (01:21):
very special episode of Family Ties might be better.

Becca (01:25):
Nice.
I

Chris (01:26):
think, I think in the very special episode of Family
Ties, Tom Hanks came to visitand he was an alcoholic and he
drank vanilla extract, and I waslike, I didn't know you

Becca (01:35):
could drink vanilla extract.

Sarah (01:37):
Sweet.

Becca (01:38):
So thank you.
Very special episode.
Mom.
I wanna do some baking of familyties for showing me how to, how
to get a little tipsy.
Yeah.
The kids are getting high.
Real weird.
These days,

Sarah (01:53):
these special episodes were always like, um, the
afterschool specials.
There was always something likeyou learned a lesson.
Yeah, they were about drugs.
They were about cocainedrinking.
Theo had a

Chris (02:05):
joint in his math book.

Sarah (02:07):
Yeah.

Chris (02:09):
Cliff and, uh, Dr.
Huxtable were very upset aboutit,

Sarah (02:13):
which is really funny now that I think about the Cosby
Show context.

Becca (02:17):
I don't, I don't know.

Sarah (02:19):
Like

Becca (02:20):
Theo just passed away not too long ago.
Very sad.
He did.
Yeah.
The ocean killed

Sarah (02:25):
him.

Becca (02:28):
It is a wild thing.

Chris (02:30):
Um,

Sarah (02:30):
it is.

Chris (02:31):
So our very special episode is about meditation, and
I don't know, Becca, if you'veseen the movie, you might,
because I know your dad, youmight've seen Earnest Ghost to
camp.
There was a whole

Becca (02:43):
series of movies in the late eighties Yes.
About Ernest.
And Ernest looked a little bitlike Mike Rowe to me, Mike who
from Dirty Jobs.

Sarah (02:58):
I don't look

Becca (02:59):
at.
Okay.
That's so funny.
That's such a good comparison.

Sarah (03:03):
Hold on.
Mike Rowe.
Like that's what his name is.
Like he's Mike.
Like he's small.

Becca (03:07):
Yeah, but he's not, I thought,

Sarah (03:09):
I thought you were gonna say like a rapper.
'cause that seemed like arapper's name.

Becca (03:13):
No, I'm

Sarah (03:14):
just Mike Rowe.

Becca (03:16):
Like, it's like, oh, there she goes.
It's like a Mike Hunt.
They're two separate names.
Oh, okay.
Because you don't wanna,

Sarah (03:25):
no.

Becca (03:25):
Wanna just mix it together?

Sarah (03:27):
Nope.
Guess who just woke up?

Becca (03:30):
Is it macho?
Can he come over and give ussome words of wisdom?
Gimme a macho.
Gimme a bishop.
Scooby and I were cuddling thismorning.
You can see a little bit on myblack sweatshirt.
The dog for Oh.

Sarah (03:42):
Which means I'm probably going to have to let you two
converse for a little while.
I'll set the scene because he'sbeen asleep for 12 hours and his
bladder is like this.
Like he has a tiny little babybladder just like mine.
Mm-hmm.
Kind of like mine.
So, uh, yeah, if you guys wannago ahead.
I don't wanna miss the assholepuckering though.

(04:02):
Like, I feel like that was, Ifeel like that was me.
Like I was really like that wasthe one thing this weekend I was
really a part of.
I was really present for thatpart.

Becca (04:12):
Bryce, the only thing you were really in your, in your
cough syrup.
A haze.
Yes.
Okay.
So I will let you guys ways toget high.

Sarah (04:21):
You guys Okay.
Talk amongst yourselves.
We'll carry on,

Chris (04:24):
right?
You've got this great, so ourvery special episode of The
Mental Funny Bone is about usgoing to a meditation camp.
Much like Earnest went to camp.
If anyone has seen movies aboutwhat it looks like at summer
camp, that is where, uh, Sarahand I spent the weekend at the
Omega Institute in upstate NewYork.

(04:45):
And Becca, I don't, I don't knowif you know where upstate New
York is, but I had to Google it'cause I was like, wait a
minute.
How can this be upstate NewYork?
When it is directly east ofwhere I live?
Like it isn't up.
Yeah, it isn't.
It's just over it.
It's up a little, but not asmuch as you would think.

Becca (05:07):
Mm-hmm.

Chris (05:08):
It turns out upstate New York is everything that isn't
New York City.

Becca (05:12):
Mm.

Chris (05:13):
I see.
I was like,

Becca (05:13):
so is that like Buffalo, New York?

Chris (05:16):
Right.
It was like, uh, contains areaslike the Hudson Valley and
something else, and cities likeSyracuse and Albany and Buffalo.
I was like, but Buffalo, Buffalois all the way on this side.
Albany is like not, it's justlike, yeah.
They're like, it's everythingthat is in New York City.
I was like, that kid, like NewYork City's like a tiny little

(05:40):
bit and they're like, yeah,everything else is just upstate.
It's a separate country where,uh, where people pick apples and
you know, there have farms witheggs.
Is everything that happens inupstate New York, not New York
City.
So there you go.
There's my geography lessontoday.
It's so, it's like sad thatSarah isn't here for that part

(06:03):
because she clearly enjoys agood geography lesson more than
anybody.
Alright, so I will, I willGeography lesson

Becca (06:09):
outside taking macho out.

Chris (06:11):
Yeah, she's, she's thinking about upstate New York.
She's thinking about which partsof the EU we were at this
weekend.
So, uh, I, I'm all excited.
I get up on Friday, I do alittle bit of work set, uh, like
set my out of office, get mylaptop already so I can work in
the car and um, I text Sarah'cause she told me to be there

(06:32):
at nine o'clock'cause we weregonna leave around 10 30, which
makes sense because if I aim tobe somewhere at nine o'clock,
I'm probably gonna show up like9 45.
So good on her part.
So I text her and I'm like, I'mleaving and I'm on time'cause
it's leaving at like eighto'clock.
'cause sometimes I can get myshit together.
Nice.

(06:52):
I know, I know.
I was very, very proud ofmyself.
Everything was all packed.
Had my pillow, my sheets, myblankets, my towels, my soap.
Like everything I would need toretreat away from society and
learn how to sit still andpacked it all in my suitcase.

(07:13):
I felt like I did a really goodjob.
And then I kept like throwingthings in the car, like, I
should take a coat, I shouldtake a hat, I should take this
other bag.
I should take my crocheting.
So I had everything all neatlypacked and then, and then 86
items just randomly in the car.
Kind of like my brain at anygiven point in time.

Becca (07:33):
Yeah.

Chris (07:33):
So I text Sarah and she texts me back and she says, Hey,
um, I feel like shit.
And I was like, excellent.
I'll see you in an hour.
'cause I'm not, I'm not havingit.
Not having it.
I could tell you're trying toget out of it.
I could tell.
You are, you are saying that youdon't wanna go, and that is too

(07:53):
fucking bad.
We're going, we're going.
It turns out she really wasn'ttrying to get out of it and she
was actually sick.
So she had taken a COVID test,Becca, like, just imagine going
to this fucking Omega Institutein, in upstate New York by
yourself to hang out with.

(08:15):
What I, at this point before wehad gotten there, could only
imagine were the most heavy dutyhippie dippy, crunchy ass
meditators on the planet like.
If she would've been like, I'mnot going.
I, because I would've gone, itwas a, an investment and I
would've had to drive eighthours by myself singing, singing

(08:41):
nineties.
I think that's the thing that

Sarah (08:41):
made the biggest difference.
I was like, she's, if it weren'tfor me, she'd be flying.
I can't possibly make her driveeight hours by herself.
I fair.
Very fair.

Chris (08:53):
I was like, if I get there and you're on death's
door, I'm still gonna put you inthe car.
You can die in New York.
It's fine.
Yeah.
And I was willing to, you're notcontagious.
Turns out like she almost did.
So like Hamilton, I think.

Becca (09:08):
Right?

Chris (09:09):
Didn't he die New York?
I love that.
New Jersey Hoboken.
No, we hawken.
I mean, I saw the music night.
One of, one of those kids.
Nine times.

Becca (09:17):
We hawken dawn.
Yes.
That's what I was trying tothink about.
I was trying to go back.
Nice, nice.
So I

Sarah (09:25):
think that there should be a musical about me then going
to the meditation retreat.

Becca (09:31):
Oh, don't gimme that.
I'll write it in two seconds.
I'll write it in two.
You're gonna have

Sarah (09:36):
some, you're gonna have some great, uh, I don't know,
substance.
I don't in my head material.
So foggy.
Yeah, keep going.
Keep going.

Becca (09:43):
Anyways, I'm excited to hear about the assholes.
So, right, right.
It was a

Chris (09:46):
long drive.
There was foliage.
Um, we're gonna have to gopretty quick'cause lots of stuff
happened.
We, we made a lot of jokes andin Indiana, Pennsylvania, I had
to pee and uh, Sarah was like,we have,

Becca (10:00):
we have to stop and get cold medicine.

Chris (10:03):
Like sounding like so sad, empathetic.
Just say it now.
'cause I think you sound almostthe same as you did then we have
to stop and get cold medicine.
Please See, she sounds a littlebit more, um, baritone, like
Phoebe on friends when she hasthe cold.
It's nice you have a really goodradio voice.
I can

Sarah (10:19):
sing now.
Smelly cat.
Smelly cat

Becca (10:26):
and I, no, that's not

Sarah (10:29):
the same.
No.
No.
Okay.

Becca (10:30):
All right.
Copyright.
Copyright.
We can't afford it.
We can't afford it.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
My bad, my bad.

Chris (10:39):
That was my own song.
Dolly Parton.
So we're pulling up to Walmartand then I was, I started
thinking about how I was gonnahave to pee in the Walmart
bathroom, and, I don't know,Becca, if you've ever peed in a
Walmart bathroom, it is not thatgreat.
Not great.
It's always, it's always kind ofdirty.
There's always little bits oftoilet paper everywhere.
I don't know why.
So we, we opted to go to sheetsinstead, so we got some MTOs

(11:02):
made to order foods.

Becca (11:05):
Yeah,

Chris (11:06):
they were all potato based.

Becca (11:08):
Delicious.
Delicious.
The right choice.
Mm-hmm.
All

Chris (11:11):
potato base.
And I didn't realize that thesour cream that you get at
sheets is essentially shots ofvery thick milk.
Yeah.
Like it isn't.

Sarah (11:20):
They water it down and it's, it's very consistent
through every sheet.
Like I have eaten the potato orthey're called mini hash browns
there.
I still call them potatopancakes.
I have eaten them at everysheets in, I don't know, Western
Pennsylvania.
And all of the sour cream is thesame consistency, which is
watered down sour cream.

Chris (11:41):
You're gonna get it on your shirt.

Sarah (11:43):
Yeah.
That gets drippy consistency.
It's drippy.
You have to hold the sour creamcup right here.
Dip and insert.

Chris (11:50):
Or like I took a different tactic, like I would
dip and then turn over the itemimmediately so it would just run
down.
Like you just have to be carefulnot to get too much so it
doesn't get on your handsanyway.
So we sat in the car and we ateour potato base to treats from
sheets.
And, uh, then we went over to,to the Walmart and we bought
every candy that we walked past,and it's Halloween.

(12:12):
So we had, we had rope candy, wehad sour candy.
We didn't have any chocolatecandy because I tried to be the
voice of reason.
And we still ended up with a bagof candy,$50, 50 death of candy.

Becca (12:27):
Oh my God.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And well, it seemed great.
It was a long drive.

Sarah (12:32):
We were traveling, and when you travel, you have to
have candy, apparently.
Candy.

Chris (12:37):
We didn't have any combos though.
And I think that's what, that'swhat made the last hour so hard
for me is there were no saltysnacks to go.
We did have beef jerky thatsmelled like, uh, cats for some
reason cat piss.
I was like, I know beef jerkystinks, but not like this.
Yuck.
Not like this.

(12:57):
So there we are.
We got Sarah's cold medicine.
I talked her out of buying fourdifferent types of Kleenex.
I was like super

Sarah (13:03):
excited about the Kleenex.

Chris (13:06):
Becca, they have Kleenex now that it's in like a, it's in
like a Pringles can and you can,you can put it in the car, in
the cup holder and you can justpop out a, it's out size from
the,

Sarah (13:17):
which I thought was fucking brilliant.

Chris (13:19):
That made her's really

Becca (13:20):
nice actually.
Her

Chris (13:21):
make a decision between the normal pocket size ones that
you give a toddler to take toclass.
Those, the rectangle ones andthe Pringles popup Kleenexes.
And she was like, I want both.
Can't,

Becca (13:35):
can't have both.
That's silly.
We have to show some impulsecontrol.
Essentially.

Sarah (13:39):
It was me as a toddler in Walmart running around.
Right.
No, that's enough candy.
That's enough candy.
Swatting my hand against.
Put it down.
Put it down.
Stop it.
Stop it.

Becca (13:51):
You can only pick one.
Those are not cough drops.
Stop acting

Sarah (13:55):
like

Becca (13:55):
an asshole.
Luton's, wild cherry.
Those are not cough drops.

Sarah (13:59):
Oh yes,

Becca (13:59):
they

Sarah (13:59):
are.
They helped.
They got me through the weekend

Chris (14:03):
Anyway, so then we carry on and from that point from
Indiana is like, I don't know,another 26 hours, 200 driving at
least.
Like I kept looking at the GPS,like to see how long we had left
to go at what I thought wasappropriate intervals, but it
was really like every 45 minutesI'm like, well, we have to be
almost there now.

(14:23):
No,

Sarah (14:24):
my favorite part was like, it takes a second when you
put the map back up, like fromthe music, you go to the map and
when you put the map back up, ittakes a second for everything to
like update.
So every time we put the mapback up, it would be the same
amount of time left as we didcheck the time before and we
would both shit our pants.
Um, and then at one point I waslike, does this tell me when to

(14:46):
turn?
Because I haven't been payingattention to it.
Like.
I had no clue if I had missed 17turns or not.
That was actually on the wayhome.
But, uh,

Becca (14:54):
nice.
We are in New Jersey.
Did we miss a turn?
Mm.
It feels like we should befurther into New York.
Right?

Sarah (15:03):
Um, that I feel like when you are resigned to the fact
that you're driving places, likeyou don't give yourself the
option to fly, uh, it helps youwith the time of it and not be
so bothered by it.
'cause I feel like, yeah, notyou, Christine, because you
would much prefer to fly.
So this is something that is inyour brain like, fuck, if I

(15:23):
would've flown, I would've beenthere.
If I would've flown, I would'vebeen there.
Me, I just, I've taken that outof my brain and I find that that
has helped quite a bit.
Like all of my travels recentlyin Montreal, New York.
I haven't really been botheredby the, the time of the driving,
just saying, um, I

Becca (15:40):
prefer to drive'cause I'm terrified of heights and flying.
I've never been on an airplane.
I, I wait.
Wait, what?
You never, I'm okay with thatfor, you've never been on an
airplane Decca, huh?

Sarah (15:56):
I'm okay with that.
For you like, no, like thankyou.
Most people would be like, youhave to get on the airplane.
You have to face your, you haveto do this.
And I'm like, eh.

Becca (16:04):
This airplane propaganda.
I like the drive.
I feel like I earned it.
Cool.
Yeah.
I feel like I earned the trip,but No, but I'm also just
terrified of planes.
Like What do you mean you'repaying so much money to go so
high in the air and I can't doanything in a

Sarah (16:20):
super, super heavy, heavy thing.
And I have no control.
You're making it worse.
You're

Becca (16:25):
making with people that I know, nor that I probably like

Sarah (16:29):
who have so many germs.

Becca (16:32):
Yes.

Sarah (16:32):
Yeah.
Hmm.

Becca (16:34):
I'm

Chris (16:34):
on the airplane all the time.
Yeah.
Yep.
You like me.
I like you.
That's for sure.
And you would like me even more'cause you would sit down next
to me and I would look up and belike, and that would be.
Be the extent of ourinteraction.
And I would like you'cause youwould do this day and be like,
great.
I like her hair.

Sarah (16:54):
I don't even know why you look up.
Like I don't, well, I mean, I'mpassed out when I'm on the
plane, so it's not like

Becca (17:00):
we don't want you to look up.
'cause you're gonna tell oldladies how much you like their
gray hair.
Yeah.
Hey, your old lady gray hairlooks real good on you.
Why is she carrying that bag?
Ugh.

Chris (17:09):
Are they all going the same place?
We're going, Sarah, on Xanax, ona plane.
That's my impression.
Thank you.
I'm here all week.
All right.
So yeah, I decided, uh, that itwas about an hour too long of
the drive.
By the time we got in to NewYork, I hated the feeling of my
own skin.
Like my feet hurt.
I couldn't get comfortableanymore.
One of my hips was out of place.

(17:29):
I feel like

Sarah (17:29):
I should call out that you did a great job.
Like, unless I was just notremembering.
No, because I, I didn't wanna

Chris (17:36):
make you feel bad.

Sarah (17:37):
I don't remember you bitching about any of this.
So, I mean, kudos to you.

Chris (17:42):
I didn't wanna make you feel bad.
You already had a cold.
Cool.
Thank you.
And I committed to it, so I'm init.
I appreciate it.
Like I'm trying to sit on onehip versus the other hip.
And then I started to thinkabout how much sitting I would
have to do when I got there.
I'm like, fuck.
Ow.
Ow.
Um, yeah.
The last 20 minutes, like at onepoint we got off the major

(18:02):
highway and we were on thislittle New York highway.

Sarah (18:05):
We get onto this little highway and Christine starts
screaming about like not sellingthe house.
Like, she's like, I will notsell the house.
I will not sell the house.
And I'm like, what the f Likeare you having?
Like you have a stroke?
Yeah.
What is happening?
And I realized that she waspointing to the middle of the
highway and there was one oldass house right in the middle of

(18:25):
the highway.

Becca (18:26):
Like this guy was like, uh, no, yeah, no, I will not let
you take my home.
Like that little guy in up,

Sarah (18:32):
she was so excited about it that it was like I didn't
have enough time to see what wasgoing on.
And I was very nervous thatthere was stroke happening and.
Where's the nearest hospital?
Jesus.
Um,

Chris (18:45):
and then, and then we got off.
Then we, that road, we got offthat road and, uh, it, it was,
it was, it was roads that wereabout, uh, big enough for one
horse cart.

Becca (18:56):
Nice.

Chris (18:57):
Yeah.
And there was, there was farmsfor some reason.
There were people walking on theroad

Sarah (19:00):
walking.
Mm-hmm.

Chris (19:01):
Like children of the corn, I don't know.
And I'm like the OmegaInstitute.
I'm like, we are never cominghome from here.
We're in a cult.
We're in a cult.
They're gonna take all my money.
I'm gonna have to call David andhave him wire what's left of my
life savings after paying forthis.
And I mean, it's, this is wherewe're, this is where we live.

(19:24):
I hope you like it.
Sarah

Sarah (19:26):
Noah said,

Chris (19:27):
sister Sarah

Sarah (19:29):
Noah said, where the fuck were you?
Like, were you at literally likea commune?
Like did they give you Kool-Aidwhen you got there?
No, no, there was no

Becca (19:39):
Kool-Aid.
No, no.
Too many artificial colors.

Sarah (19:42):
And I about that would not be Kool-Aid.
I was like, yeah.
When my sister came to pick meup, we were like, fuck, we're
never coming home.
We're joining a cult.
But I told him, I was like,yeah, it's kind of what it was
like.
There were little cabins, therewas little dorms.

Chris (19:56):
It was very sweet, very equitable.
Everyone had the same shittycabin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some people had slightly uh,slightly less shitty cabins, but
I can't imagine they wereluxurious.

Sarah (20:08):
No.

Chris (20:10):
So we get there and uh, the first thing that happens is
Sarah's driven eight hours andshe's on a lot of cold medicine.
So we pull in and there's a guyjust standing there and Sarah's
like, hello?
And she stares at him for

Sarah (20:25):
like, because he was like, when you pull in somewhere
and there was a guy standingthere, I expect him to tell me
what to do.
Right?
This had nothing to do with coldmedicine.
This had to do with just normalfunctioning.
Like there is a guy at theparking lot and he's standing
there talking to everybodythat's coming in.
I would expect that I roll downthe window and I say hi.
And he says, hi, are you herefor the retreat?

(20:47):
And I say, yes, I'm, and hesays, okay, pull down there to
the tent.
Do X, Y and Z, da da.
Enjoy your stay.
And I said, hi.
And he said, hi.
Okay.
Do you, what do we do?
Do you have a gummy that youwant to give me?
'cause it seems as though you'vehad a few.

Becca (21:06):
What?
Yeah, everyone very chill.
Very chill.
Where am I going, dude?
And Sarah forgot why we werethere.
She's like, I'm here for themeditation something.
I'm here to meditate,

Sarah (21:18):
motherfucker.
I don't know.

Becca (21:20):
And he was like, right, right, right.
Welcome,

Sarah (21:22):
right,

Chris (21:23):
welcome, welcome.
I was like, fuck.
It is a cult shit.
Yes, I am.
Oh God.
We're never getting out.

Sarah (21:30):
For anyone who's watched lost, like I felt like it was
that, like that community, I'mnot sure if anybody, but if
you've watched Lost, like whenthere's the actual community
there, that's kind of what Ifelt It was like Exactly.
It, it, which it, which was theDharma Initiative, wasn't it?
For Lost.
Nobody's watched.
Lost.
Okay.
It, it was definitely the Dharmainitiative on Lost.

(21:52):
Oh yeah.
Well now that I'm thinking aboutit

Chris (21:54):
fits right in with our Buddhist weekend, so

Sarah (21:56):
it makes sense.

Chris (21:58):
So we, we pull up and some nice crunchy granola kids
took our bags.
They're like, yeah, we pull upand again, like they're looking
at us like we should know whatto do.
And I, I get outta the car andI'm like, hello?
He was like, hello.
Okay.
Um, you guys are gonna have tohelp me out here.
Like, do, what do you, what doyou need?
Like, do I register?
Are you gonna gimme a key?
Like, what's up?

(22:18):
I don't know where I go.
I can see the compound overhere.
Help.
Mm-hmm.
He's like, oh, just take yourbags and put'em here.
This is just for unloading, sogo ahead, unload all your stuff.
So we do that and I take the twobags that I've organized, then
forgetting that I have a code, ahat, everything else that I

(22:39):
brought just like tossed in thebackseat, a purse.
Like I have a whole bunch ofshit still in my car.
Um, and uh, and then he is like,and then go and park and he's
like, if one of you wants tostay, then we can deal with all
your luggage and then one of youcan go park the car.
And I was like, don't leave me.
And so I was like, all right,I'll be right back.
Right.
So she left me with the guys whoare obviously going to brainwash

(23:03):
me.
Uhhuh.
Right.

Sarah (23:05):
See ya.
Peace.
I do need to interject'cause,um, we're at 25 minutes and
we're, we haven't even gottenthere yet, so we're gonna have
to,

Becca (23:13):
we gotta pick it out.

Sarah (23:13):
Figure it out.
But we did miss the, thepuckering of the asshole.

Chris (23:18):
We did.
My God.
How did, how did I forget?
Yeah.
Um, yeah, so when we turned offonto the back roads, the back,
back roads, we started talking.
I was like, I really, if I hadto do this drive by myself, like
if you would've been sick andnot able, I, I would've gotten
to this point.
And I think maybe I would've, Iwould've punked out.
I would've, I would've turnedback.
I would've been like, I can't, Ican't go to the cult by myself.

(23:43):
Somebody has to be in the cultwith me.
So, and then Sarah talked aboutthe, the asshole.
The quote that I have here is,the asshole of excitement has
puckered

Sarah (23:54):
shut.
Yes, because I was, I wasexcited.
And then we got to this pointand I was like, Ooh, I don't
think I wanna do this anymore.
And my excitement haddissipated.
And my mind, I felt I needed todescribe that as though the
asshole of the excitement justwent and was gone.
Right.
So you So the asshole ofexcitement just puckered up and

(24:17):
was all done.

Chris (24:18):
That's how, that's how we arrived with assholes of
excitement, puckered, like we'remm-hmm.
Uh, like at this point, notexcited anymore.
So we get there, uh, they takethe bags, we park the car, we
have to go inside and register.
We have to fill out a form.
I'm like, but my contact personis you usually, and you're here
with me in case of emergency.
That's who they're gonna call toget the money from when they

(24:39):
kidnap me.
Cool.
I've never felt more out ofplace than when I was standing
in line.
And I don't know about you,Sarah, but I was like, everyone
here knows exactly what's goingon and they've done it all
before and everyone is like, sochill and so cool.
And I am actively afraid, not ofreally getting kidnapped, but

(25:00):
just of being around like awhole bunch of like people that
maybe I don't normally likeidentify with too.
Like these are not like, put meat a conference in the same
situation.
I'm like, Hey, how you doing?
How's it going?
Like, I'm fine.
Put me in a situation where I'mtrying to do something that
would, that would actually likeBen, benefit my inner person.

(25:22):
And I'm like, I hate everybody.
And what I wrote down here is, Idon't know, I, I wrote it
somewhere is, I don't know why.
My first reaction in thosesituations is to make fun of
everybody else, to like, myfirst reaction is to be like
these assholes.
They know I'm different and I'mmake it makes, makes you feel

(25:42):
better.
I'm gonna make fun of thembefore they have a chance to
notice I'm a weirdo.
There you go.
So well breeze through dinner.
We go to, there's a cafeteria.
Well, first we go to our cabinand Sarah goes, fuck you, I
think is what she said.

Sarah (26:00):
She said, yeah, I, I actually think that's exactly
what I said when we opened thedoor.
Fuck you.
Because it wasn't a cabin.
I mean it was a cabin.
It looked as though it was anice two bedroom cabin from the
outside.
And we walk in and there it is.
There's eight.
Eight rooms.
Eight rooms.
Eight.
Eight of them eight rooms andum, two shitters and two

(26:21):
showers.
That's it.
And it took us a while torealize that there were actually
showers.
'cause the outside of theshowers looked like just
bathroom shitter stalls.
And we looked at each other,we're like, where are the
showers?
And I believe that's when I waslike, fuck off.
Fuck you.

Chris (26:37):
Right, Becca.
This is what it looks like.
You walk in the front door andimagine a long hallway, like a
long-ish hallway.
Mm-hmm.
Each of the rooms is about eightby 10.
Not even, not even like in eachroom is a twin bed, a folding
chair, like a fire hall, foldingchair, padded, and a nightstand.

(26:58):
And that is it.
And one outlet.
One outlet, one, one outlet.
And it is blazing hot.

Becca (27:05):
Mm-hmm.

Chris (27:06):
Like sauna.
Oh, sauna.
Like, and there's four of thoserooms on each side.
And then at the end there's awall, and then there's two
potties.
And it is the darkest place inthe whole, like there's one tiny
window on each side.
Like you go, you go to the endof the hall and you go like
this.
Spooky Doy, right?

(27:27):
I'm peeing in the dark.
I'm, I'm not sure what theshowers look like.
'cause I felt like it was realdark in there too.
There's no place to set myclothes, so I'm afraid I'm gonna
drop my underwear and someone isgonna pick them up.
Like, there's a whole lot ofthoughts happening.
And Sarah looks at me and she'slike, fuck you.
And I was like, yeah, alright.
Um, that's fair.

(27:47):
This is not quite what Iexpected, but it's fine.
It's fine.
It's two nights.
Shut up.
So we, and then we, then we haveto walk and we're walking and it
is full.
You've been to Bethany, right?
Becca?
Mm-hmm.
You know that big?
He that, yes.
That We complain about why itwas like that.
Like we had to walk up amountain to get to where we

(28:08):
lived and we were, we wereliterally like

Sarah (28:09):
at the highest point of the place,

Chris (28:11):
the furthest point away from everywhere we needed to be
was where our little cabin was.
Mm-hmm.
And the whole time she's lookingat me like, I hate you.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, Iget it.
I get it.
I don't wanna walk either.
But here we are.
So, and, and then we have towalk back down to the cafeteria
and stand in line to eat.
And they're, they tell you like,this is a, this is a like

(28:33):
vegetarian friendly, sustainablefood.
And I'm like, it's just gonna bea bunch of kale and beets and
fucking goat cheese.

Sarah (28:41):
I was so excited about beets and goat cheese though,
man.
Very little.
That's just another Noahstatement.
Yeah.
What are you gonna eat?
And I was like, well, it's likefarm to table.
There was lots of vegetables.
And he was like, did you eatbeets?
I was like, oh, I ate the fuckout of the beets.
I was so excited.
Have many fresh beets,

Chris (28:59):
so many like, just lots of beets.

Sarah (29:02):
But I thought it was really funny how Noah
immediately was like, you atethe beets, didn't you?
I love the beets.
Anyway, go ahead.

Chris (29:10):
So we, we eat dinner and we meet.
There's, there's not enoughtables for everyone to sit by
themselves, like forcing you tosocialize, so hate it.
So, you know, we, we meet acouple of people.
Everyone's nice.
I mean, that's the thing iseveryone is there and they're
all in the same, like, that'sthe thing that my brain doesn't
process accurately, is thateveryone is in the same

(29:31):
situation, Uhhuh and everyonedoesn't wanna be there by
themselves.
And everyone wants to make afriend and have a conversation
and, and enjoy their dinnerwhile they're talking to
somebody.
Like, nobody wants to sit therewith their head down, like,
well, I mean, I do, but, buteveryone no you don't, is going.

Sarah (29:48):
You got mad when we sat with the the one.
Oh,

Chris (29:51):
I did.
I the two people who

Sarah (29:53):
did not talk to us.
Meanwhile, why didn't they wannatalk to me?
You were mad.
I was like, this is awesome.
I could just eat my food.
Why don't they

Chris (29:58):
wanna talk to me?
I wanna hear about their weddingand I wanna hear about why they
can't host Hanukkah.
I wanna know, like, I wannainclude it on their gossip.

Sarah (30:06):
Meanwhile, I

Chris (30:06):
didn't even know that they said it.
I have no clue what you'retalking about.
Right?
A lot better than yours.
My ears are a lot better.
And uh, then we still have awhole hour before we're supposed
to do our first meditationsession.
We are first like gathering, um,and there's no tv.
And so we go back up to thiscabin and we're sitting in one

(30:27):
room just staring at each otherfor like, just imagine it.
It wasn't that long, but it, itwas perfect.
It was perfect.
She

Sarah (30:33):
was crocheting while I was laying, I on the bed going,
uh uh, I'm going to die here.
Keep going though.
I have to go make another cup ofcoffee.

Chris (30:47):
Yeah, I'll tell Becca about the initial part of
session one and like the, thegood parts.
Um, alright, so session onehappens and, and we get there
and we're, we're early becauseuh, you know, there's nothing
else to do.

Becca (31:03):
Yeah.

Chris (31:03):
So, so we pop in and I'm like, oh my God, there's 350
chairs in here.
Where do we sit?
Like what do we do?
What do we do?
What do we do?
Like my whole theme the wholeweekend was what do we do?
What do we do?
What do we do?
How do I look normal?
How do I blend in?
How do I blend in, uh, in thisweird environment?
And eventually I'm like, I don'tgive a shit anymore.

(31:25):
Um, it takes me a while to getthere.
So we go in, we find some seats,I'm like, are these seats good?
I don't know.
I don't wanna sit too close upfront'cause I don't wanna look
like overeager and I don't wannasit too far in the back because
I won't be able to see or hear'cause I'm a tiny, I'm a little,
uh, girl.
Always a struggle.

(31:45):
Um.
So, uh, there, there we are.
We, we sit down, we grab ourseats and people fill in and
it's packed, literally 355people here to see my boy Dan
Harris.
Um, I guess I could have saidwhy we were going on this
meditation retreat a littleearlier in the podcast instead
of 35 minutes into it.

Becca (32:09):
Sorry.
It's alright.

Chris (32:11):
Hey, boners.
So if you'll remember, we read abook called 10% Happier, uh, by
Dan Harris.
And he is a skeptic who, uh, gotpretty hard into meditation and
then kind of adopted it as hislife's work.
He was a anchor on goingboarding America weekend edition
and he had a panic attack onlive TV and then found therapy

(32:35):
and meditation and it reallychanged his life.
And Sarah and I really enjoyedhis book and that is sort of how
we got our way into thinkingthat meditation was a good way
for us to deal with not only ourown mental illness, but to kind
of encourage us to be betterpeople.
So Dan Harris is there and hehas two people within.

(33:00):
And Jeff Warren, I think is one,and Sen a, I can't even remember
Sen a's last name, but I will, Iwill find it and I will this
time put links to all of theirbooks in the, in the show notes.
So they come out on stage, they,um, at.

(33:23):
This point in my 52-year-oldlife, I am fangirling.
I'm like, oh my God.
It's Dan Harris.
My God.
Oh my God.
I love Dan Harris.
Oh my God.
It's Dan Harris.
It's Dan Harris.
What's seven a's last name, sir?
Huh?
It starts with an S I'll put upthe links to all of their books.
No, that's a wine.
That's a great, I'm

Sarah (33:43):
mad that I don't know her last name off the top of my
head.
'cause I really liked her.

Chris (33:47):
Yeah, she was, she was a, I really like

Sarah (33:49):
her.
Yeah.

Chris (33:50):
Jeff Warren.
Was it Jeff Warren?
Mm-hmm.
Because I just sounds like acomedian.
But, uh, he wrote a book called,uh, meditation for Fidgety
Skeptics.
Yeah.
Right.
I have tiny, tiny claps forthat.
Sarah has the book and I reallywant it.
I almost bought it this weekend,but I also have 7,000 books I
haven't read yet.

Becca (34:10):
Yeah.
Um, I also Me too.
Me Too.

Sarah (34:13):
Developing.
These were delivered while I wasgone this weekend.
Skeptics.
And then this one, how emotionsare Made.
The secret life of the brain.
These are on top of the 1,705 upthere still that I have to read
on top of the self-compassionone that we're reading.
So yeah.

Chris (34:32):
Right.
So these guys get on stage and,and now like, now I'm nervous.
I'm like, what's it gonna belike, what are they gonna do?
What's gonna happen?
And then, and then the firstthing we do is meditate.
Now it's cra I was like, wow,we're gonna meditate right?
Where I know I'm all a Twitter,so now we're meditating.
And they're like, get into acomfortable position that you

(34:54):
usually get into while youmeditate.
And I was like, I, I, I don't, Idon't, I don't what and it,
right.
And I couldn't because, uh, Iwas so twitchy and excited.
There's no way I'm gonna be ableto meditate.
So I just sit there and pretend.
It's like me playing the flutewhen

Sarah (35:10):
I was in fourth grade,

Becca (35:12):
right.
I'm like.
Okay, uh, close your eyes.
And the minute I close my eyes,my eyes go.

Chris (35:19):
I'm like, okay, open your eyes.
Open your eyes.
Fuck.
It's wild.
Wild.
And so we do that, and then theytalk a little bit and they talk
about the weekend and what it'sgonna be like.
And then they're like, okay, whydon't you share your intention
for the weekend with yourneighbors?
And I was like, first off, Idon't, this is the part I don't
like.
Like, I don't like making anintention and I don't like

(35:41):
talking to other people.
Like, I don't, I mean, I didn'tthen I didn't want to then like,
Sarah's making a face.
Like I do like to talk to otherpeople.

Sarah (35:51):
I will reference back to how mad you got at the people in
the cafeteria that did not wantto talk to you.

Becca (35:56):
I wanted to know what was going on in their family.

Chris (35:59):
I'm just, I have an innate sense, sense of, uh,
curiosity.
That's all

Becca (36:04):
what is broken inside me that makes making fun of
everyone.
My place of comfort is what Iwrote in my notes.

Sarah (36:13):
I don't.
You're not, bro, it's notbroken.
It's just being human.

Chris (36:17):
Thank you, Sarah.
It

Sarah (36:18):
makes you feel better.

Chris (36:21):
The Jeff Guy, Jeff Warren and Dan Harris start off by
saying funny things and thenseven A is their straight man.
So she's like, I would like tobring us all back to why we're
here and I would like toquestion the karma that led me
to being the straight man for,as a black or as a, as a woman

(36:41):
of color in this space, what hasled me, what kind of karma led
me to being the straight man forthese two straight white men and
hilarious.
And that was like the theme ofthe whole weekend.
Like they say, Jeff Warren has aobvious A DHD and probably some
other neurotypical things goingon, and he, he's bipolar.

(37:03):
He's like bouncy all over theplace.
And then Dan Harris is a, ajournalist who's very serious in
some ways.
Like, like you could tell thathe's not fucking around.
Like that's the he'll, he willmake jokes, but he is here for a
purpose and a reason and like,let's get to it.
So the three of them wereabsolutely perfect together.
I got so much out of it.

(37:24):
Like that first night, I'm like,okay, I don't know.
There's a fast way and there's aslow way.
And they're talking about dharmaand Buddhist tradition and I
don't know any of that.
I know.
Focus on your breathing.
That's what I know.
So I come out of that and I'mlike, wow.
That was, that was um, that wasfun.
And then as we're wrapping up,um, seven, eight invites us to

(37:48):
enter into silence and I waslike, wait, what?
Hold up.
Um, that was not the idea ofthis retreat.
This is a meditation party.
What, and as soon as she saidthat, I had 5,000 things to say
to Sarah.
5,000.
5,000.

Becca (38:04):
Mm-hmm.

Chris (38:05):
Um, and, but there's no rules about it.
Like, can I text her?
Um, all I wanna do is talk to mysister as soon as they say,
enter into silence.
Um, and they're like, okay,we're gonna go, we're gonna have
silent breakfast.
And then when we have sessiontomorrow, um, at some point
during that, we can, we can comeout of our silence.
And I was like, oh, what?

(38:27):
Yeah.
And immediately I'm like, Ican't.
I can't, I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I won't, I won't.
I don't even know what timewe're waking up tomorrow.
We have to talk to each other.
Anyway, so that was thought, butalso good.
I mean, I could see the appealof a silent meditation retreat,
like just that little likesnippet of it is I want to do

(38:48):
one.
Wild.
Like you do kind of get intoyour own head.
Like if there's nobody to talkto, then the only person you
have to talk to is your brainvoice.
And that is funky.
I was bad at it.
And immediately, as soon as wewere away from people that could
hear us, I was like, and again,I went immediately into making

(39:10):
fun of somebody's sweater.
Nice.
There was a guy wearing a rug.
He was wearing a full ass rug.
Mm-hmm.
And God bless him for beingcomfortable in that.
And you do you bro.
But I, the minute I was like,all right, I'm being quiet now.
He walked through our field ofvision and I was like, he's

Becca (39:26):
wearing a carpet.

Chris (39:27):
So sorry to that dude.
Namaste.
So then, uh, we eat breakfastand uh, we picked the worst
seats in the house whereeveryone had to boop, everyone's
ass was right next to my head,like the whole time fun stuff.

Sarah (39:40):
But it was great'cause there was only two of us at the
table, right.
Trade off.

Chris (39:45):
I mean, we couldn't talk anyway.
We just would've had to nod.
At others.
Oh, I should also say that the,at the Omega Institute, there
were also other thingshappening.
Like there was a yoga retreatand a meditation retreat at the
same time.
The yoga retreat was muchsmaller.

Sarah (40:00):
It was also a planetarium retreat or planetarium?
P planetarium.
Oh, wow.
P planetarium.

Chris (40:06):
It was either plant, it was either a plant or a space.

Sarah (40:09):
One of those I kept saying planetarium, so I'm just
going with that.
I'm pretty sure that's wrong.
It began with a pl having

Becca (40:16):
trouble picturing a bunch of hardcore astronomy scientists
at this place.
I don't know.
Hi.
Um, while you're looking at thestars in the cosmos, can we
align your chakras?
Maybe it was pulmonary.
I

Chris (40:29):
don't know.
There it was.
Lungs,

Becca (40:31):
yeah, whatever.

Chris (40:32):
People who really like lungs.
Uh, so we get, we, we get donewith breakfast and we get back
into session and, uh, did Jeff,uh, Jeff is gonna lead us.
Um, I.
At this point, the second day, Ihaven't talked to anyone.
I'm able to settle down, right?
So we do the, we do themeditation, and I am in it,
like, I am so good atmeditation, I'm into my

(40:55):
relaxation pyramid.
They gimme a little backgroundabout, here's like a, imagine a
triangle and at the bottomyou're relaxing and then you're,
you're building a stable baseto, to try to gain clarity at
the top of the pyramid.
I'm like, oh, I can work withthat.
Those are like rules.
Got it.
Thank you Jeff Warren for givingmy brain something to hang on to

(41:18):
Slope.
And then we're, we're back intoBuddha.
We're talking about Dharma andBuddha makes lists about things
and there's five, uh, bad thingsthat are anyway, and then I get
lost.
I'm like, I don't know what I'm,what I'm doing.
What's, what are we doing?
Why am I meditating?
So the whole first session, Ifeel like I'm doing all right,
like I'm doing all right.
I got my meditation down.
Sarah leaves to go to thebathroom, and they were like,

(41:40):
okay, well talk to yourneighbors.
Um, about that wasn't until theafternoon.
No, you're right.
You're right.
Right.
Uh, a couple of fun things thathappened.
There was a guy named John andhe stood up to ask a question
and he said, Hey, I'm John and Ihave a closed heart and I have
these questions.
And I didn't hear anything afterJohn with a closed heart.

(42:02):
Like, I don't know what heasked.
Um, but he, he popped up, hesaid he sat in front of us in
the afternoon and we'll, we'llget back to him.
There's a guy there who alsohates guided meditation, which
is funny'cause it's really allyou do at a retreat.
So Scott was his name, Scott, heis like, hi, I am Scott and
every time you talk it distractsme.

(42:24):
And they were like, well explorethat.

Sarah (42:26):
Maybe go outside.
I actually think that he startedwith, I'm Scott.
And I'm, I'm different in thefact that I judge people or
something like that.
It was actually very funny.
Um, n ru just like, yeah.
All right.
Anyway, go ahead.

Chris (42:40):
Hilarious.
And there were, there were aseries of ladies who were super,
like, I'm a fan.
Um, Sarah's a fan.
These ladies took it to like adifferent level.
They were like trippy birds upfront and around.
And they were always upfront,like at the beginning they were
like, Hey, I know you guysupfront are excited.
Maybe you just like cycle intothe back and let some other
people come up front for thenext session.

(43:01):
And they were like, yeah, um,suck my dick, is what they said
to the lady who was like, maybeyou let other people experience
that, but it's always the same,like three or four ladies up
front.
Bless them.
Namaste.
Love that for them.
I love that for them.
Namaste.
There were people, like, therewere cushions all around, right?
It's like a meditation retreat.
So people were like pullingthese cushions off and like

(43:22):
laying them down on the floor.
There's also 350 folding chairs.
So things are getting a littletight over there on the sides.
Um, in, uh, you know, we just gothrough a bunch of meditations
and they're telling youdifferent ways to do it.
Like you can do it standing up.
Uh, you can do it walking, youcan do it with your eyes open.

(43:43):
Um, and I wrote down what kindof psychopath keeps their eyes
open during this?
Like, who, what, how.
But you know, their idea iswe're gonna show you a bunch of
different things.
You're gonna find the one thatworks for you.
And, uh, Sally forth from there.
And really like their big lessonthis whole week was, it doesn't
matter.

(44:04):
Like I ask people a hundredtimes, I think, especially after
the afternoon session, why am Iso bad at meditation?
I'm bad at meditation.
And they're like, you can'tpossibly be.
And I was like, but, and I thinkit comes from my need for rules
and to be good.
Do you know what I mean?
Like.
Good.
I comes from the same thing

Sarah (44:25):
that we do, that we want to let everybody know that we're
bad at something before they letus know that we're bad at
something.
So I'm not sure if you expectedsomeone to like critique you,
right.
And you wanted them to know thatyou thought you were bad before
they could tell you you were badprobably.
But when it comes to meditation,nobody can, can critique you and
there's really no bad way ofdoing it because you're doing

(44:47):
it, which is the beginning ofit.
Regardless, there is some sortof awareness happening and
that's what it's all about,

Chris (44:55):
right?
So I had to lunch and I had tolike the afternoon break with
this like really good feeling.
I'm like, excellent, I'm, I'mhere, I'm doing the thing.
I'm not anxious or, or reallynervous anymore.
I'm just one of like, everyonehere is kind of struggling to do
the same thing.
Even the fan girl chirpy birdsup front are just here to, you

(45:16):
know, kind of get theirmeditation on and try to be
better people.
I also wrote down the privilegein this room is overwhelming.
There are so

Becca (45:23):
many, so many expensive water bottles and so many
expensive pairs of yoga pants.

Sarah (45:29):
Like I was super mad at myself.
'cause I thought yesterday ofwhat I really should have
written down on one of thoselittle note cards.
And I'm really, really mad thatI didn't do it.
Um, I should have written down,Hey, while we have all these
people in here, why don't welike collect some money for the
people who are about to lose alltheir benefits and not be able
to feed their kids?

Chris (45:48):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something, something.
Yeah.
Fucking

Sarah (45:50):
hate myself for not doing that.

Chris (45:53):
Something along those lines.
Don't hate yourself.
I thought we talked about thisfor eight hours on the way home.

Sarah (45:58):
I know, but still I kind of am mad at myself about not
like, that was a hugeopportunity.
Well, for, for someone like youthink someone would've thought
of it.

Chris (46:07):
Right.
Instead we were all like, helpme.
Help me.
My soul is sad.
And I mean, I think that's theother thing that you can take
away from that.
That there's all, like, thesepeople have every resource
available.
And by these people, I mean ushave every resource available to
them that money can buy.
Like the only reason you're atthis shit is because you have

(46:31):
enough money to be like, Hey, Ihave I, I want someone to fix me
and here's some money.
And to understand that anotherthing that I took away is to
feel that way is so universal.
It's amazing to feel likethere's something missing and
you need something.
And life isn't aboutaccumulating as much stuff as

(46:53):
you possibly can'cause theseguys have done it.
They have everything that theycould possibly want or need that
money can buy.
What they don't have is a happysoul.
They don't have a calm, quietplace to rest and be the people
that they want to be.
I, I mean, I think that is the,the thing about this that I
found so powerful after thinkingabout it for a little, like, the

(47:16):
privilege in that room is wild.
And I don't think,

Sarah (47:19):
I mean, I, I, I think we, we shouldn't say that goes for
everybody'cause we don't knoweverybody and we don't know how
they got there.
There are scholarships Yeah.
Sometimes for this shit.
So, but I would say the majorityof people are definitely, and
some people are there just'causethey dig this.

Chris (47:35):
They dislike it.
Do you, you dig the ship becauseit's part of universal human
experience wants to be connectedto other people, and they don't
want it to be conditioned onhere's my, here's my money.
Yeah.
Like, that's what I took from,from this is that it doesn't
matter, like as much or aslittle, you can still get so
much out of this meditationexperience.

(47:56):
Mm-hmm.
Like you, it kind of opens youreyes to how connected everything
is.
I know that's kind of cheesyand, but I, I mean, I think that
is the, one of the importantparts that I took away is this
sort of shared humanity, likeeveryone needs community and
that All right.

(48:16):
We will, we'll talk about lunchand then we'll talk about
session two and then we'll,we'll finally get to, to, to the
end and I'll, I'll give you guysmore reflections.
Um, so we have lunch, and lunchis lovely.
E except for the, Sarah and Iare a bit late, so we walk in
and the only table is a table inthe back with nobody at it,
except for the, that table isreserved and there's a whole

(48:36):
table of people here that aregiggling.
'cause we are the 54th people tohave walked back there and been
like, oh, oh, it's reserved.
We should have sat down andpretended like it was reserved
for us.
So then we go back for sessionthree and that's where I stopped
writing things.
'cause then it got hard, like,then we sit down after lunch

(48:57):
and, you know, we get, we got todo a little bit of exploring
after lunch.
And the, the whole place is justreally cute.
The Omega Institute is justreally, really cute.
We had a little snack at thecafe.
We had a cookie and, and somecoffee.
We looked at the bookstore andjust very nice.
Nice relaxing place, not a cult.
Turns out they didn't actuallytry to take any of my money.

(49:19):
And Hmm.
Once you get there and kind ofget into it, you're like, no.
The, the little dorm room that Ilive in is nice and it's warm
and the beds are comfortable,and it is definitely enough
space for me to have my things.
I'm here for two days.
What, what do I, what do I need?
So that was nice.
And then we, then we get back tothe session and they're like,

(49:39):
okay, meditate again.
And I was like, easy peasy.
I'm so fucking good at it.
And then everything went toshit.
Like, it really did.
Like the whole afternoon was,first off, I fell asleep
immediately.
Like, between me and you back asSarah, I've been sleeping the,
every time we meditated Uhhuh,like, because she's got a whole
bunch of cold medicine on board,and every time she closed her

(50:02):
eyes, she's like,

Sarah (50:02):
mm, I'm not really sure why.
It's just between you guys.
Because I was very open witheveryone.
Like, how did you, you feelabout that?
Oh, I was asleep.
Sorry,

Chris (50:14):
but I wasn't taking any cold medicine.
And then it was really, thenafternoon one,

Sarah (50:17):
everybody fell asleep.

Chris (50:20):
So mad at myself.
And then like immediately afterthat first thing.
That's funny.
Like where they're like, they'relike, okay, now I want you guys
to talk about that experienceand talk about how they image
and I'm gonna go in thebathroom.

Sarah (50:33):
Thank you.

Chris (50:34):
Right.
Sarah fucks off immediatelyafter she wakes up.
'cause she's had a nice nap.
Now she has to pee.
Now I'm sitting there by myselfand they're like, okay, just
talk about how that made youfeel.
And everyone who was next to meimmediately turned to their
other neighbors.
Oh, that's the worst feeling inthe world.
And even John with No Heart, whowas right in front of me, um,

(50:55):
somebody tried to, somebodytried to bring John, I wish this
into, into their conversation.
Like they see him just sittingthere with no heart looking like
the Tin Man.
And uh, they're like, do youwanna, do you wanna join our
group?
And he was like, no, I fellasleep.
And he's a, he is got hearingaids in, so he is a bit of a
loud talker.
He is like, no, I fell asleep.

(51:15):
And so normally I would be likekind of cheesed off a bit that
nobody wanted to talk to me, butlike watching everybody kind of
share their experiences was sortof a neat thing for me.
Mm-hmm.
Sarah came back from the, fromthe ladies room and I'm like,
just listen.
Listen to everyone being allexcited about their meditation.

(51:36):
Like that's so fun for them.
Like I was asleep and I'm prettysure I suck at meditation right
now, but watching everyone elsebe excited about it.
That's nice.
I enjoyed that they were allasleep and just making fucking

Sarah (51:47):
shit up.

Chris (51:49):
Right, right.
Beck Ed is such a nice outlookand Sarah was like, what are you
talking about?
I was like, nevermind.
I'm sorry you're sick.
I missed you when you were gone.
And like the rest of the rest ofthat afternoon session was just
like hard and painful and.
I don't know it.
I felt like I don't know enough.

(52:10):
Like I don't deserve to be here.
I don't know what's happening.
I don't know why everyone elseis good at this.
And I suck at it.
And like by the time we got tothe end and we're supposed to do
this loving kindness meditation,which is all one word by the
way, loving kindness meditation.
This meta meditation where youjust give love to, uh, you give
love to yourself and someonewho's innocent and tiny and

(52:34):
deserves it like a child, or inthis case a cat, in my case, a
cat.
And then you just kind of expandout there until you're trying to
give love to someone that youhate.
And I think 80% of the people inthat room were trying to give
love to Donald Trump.

Sarah (52:48):
180%, fuck that.
98.9.
99.9 were went for Trump in thatlast one for sure.
Maybe.

Chris (52:58):
Maybe JD Vance,'cause he killed the Pope.

Sarah (53:00):
But yeah, that was, yeah, definitely.
So I would say, yeah.
99.99% of people were afterTrump and, and JD Vance.
I say after, but trying to givethem love of some sort.
No.

Chris (53:13):
And you know, trying to come to some sort of
understanding with theirsituation.
So that's always hard for me'cause I'm, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm
good at, uh, somebody else.
I'm good at an enemy, but tryingto give love to myself is, uh,
turns out a harder thing for me.
I'm like, uh, if you were betterat meditation, you would
probably be better at givinglove to your, I was like that.

(53:34):
This circle, this circle.
And then we started talkingabout paradoxes and we started
talking about the five thingsthat suck about like Buddhism,
that I'm designed for aging.
I am built for aging.
I'm built to get sick.
I'm built to die.
Everything I love is eventuallygoing to go away or change.

(53:54):
And, uh, I am a product ofkarma, some of which I had
absolutely no control over.
So it is like.
Thinking about those things iskind of a downer.
And then trying to wrap my brainaround why my brain is the way
that it is.
Like the afternoon was just acomplete shit show as far as my
mental facilities.

(54:14):
And poor Sarah was sick andshe's like, would you rather be
here by herself?
And she's feeling bad.
I'm not gonna put words in yourmouth.
How was your afternoon?
I napped.

Becca (54:26):
Nice.

Sarah (54:29):
I didn't really, I mean, this was, the problem is I was
just in a fog most of theweekend.
So, I mean, I did, I I enjoyedthe majority of it, but yeah,
after the afternoon even, I,even though I was in a fog, I
was like, what the fuck am Idoing here?
Like, like what's, I'm obviouslyon not the level that these

(54:50):
people are.
I don't know a lot of whatthey're talking about.
And I forget what we, what I'msupposed to do in every
meditation.
'cause I keep falling asleep andthen I wake up and I'm like,
Ooh, I don't even remember like,the first five minutes before we
started meditating.
Like, it's kind of like being ina car accident every time I had
to meditate.
Like, people ask you, what doyou remember of the car

(55:13):
accident?
And you're like, I don't, likefive minutes before I wrecked.
That's, I don't rememberanything.
That's kind of like every bit ofmeditation this weekend.
Um, so it's not like, yeah,that's, that's, I mean, I still
felt pretty shitty at the end ofSaturday.
'cause I, I too was just like, Iam.
I don't know what I'm doinghere.

(55:34):
Yeah.
And I, I think my thing wasthere was more of, there was
more Buddhist talk than, I'mlike, I, I don't really focus,
I'm more on the secular side ofmeditation.
And so I think that that, andnot that I disagree with it,
like I feel like it's all superinteresting and I, I, I'd like
to learn about it.
I just really haven't.
So it's kind of, I feel likethat was my separation this

(55:56):
weekend.

Chris (55:58):
Yeah.
Same.
I'm like, Dharma, what is d LikeI went back to my room and
looked up what does dharma mean?
Because people are like, oh, andthe Dharma and Polly is an
ancient language that theBuddhist spoke.
And I'm like, I don't know anyof this.
Like I'm Catholic bad at it

Sarah (56:15):
and I, I dig all that stuff, but I, I still have a tr
have trouble like saying,connecting that as a religion.
Like I don't

Chris (56:23):
Yeah.
Fascinating.
And it like philosophy.
Yeah.
And I, I like all that, so I'mlike, okay.
This would, I, maybe I would'vegotten more out of it if I had,
if I had known like more.
But I think that this is, it's anice jumping off place and I
feel like I learned more thisweekend than I would've if I
would've sat down and tried toread like 80 books anyway.

(56:44):
Hundred percent trying to dothis loving kindness meditation.
And I'm like, all right.
All right.
And Dan Harris was gonna leadit, but instead they had a
special, like a guest artistborn.
One was is his rap name and uh,his name is osu.
Shit.
I can't remember his last nameeither.

(57:04):
Tell me what it is.
OSU Jones Jones Corti.
Is that how you pronou?
There it is.
Oh, FASU.
Um, and he is a very large blackman.
A sea of lily white ladies.

Becca (57:20):
Nice.
Awesome.

Chris (57:20):
Mm-hmm.
He was, if you guys are on theYouTube, Sarah's holding up the
book.
So he's, he's our, he's ourguest.
Like he's gonna take us throughthe dance party at night.
And, uh, he comes up and heleads the loving kindness
meditation.
But before he does that, he'slike, I fucking hate loving
kindness meditation.
I was like, literally quote wordfor word.
I'm like, I love him already.

(57:42):
And, uh, great.
Awesome.
He was so awesome.
And he's, he's like, here's whatI tend to think of it.
I'm a goddamn care bearer.
I'm a care bearer with my giantheart and I'm shooting out
loving kindness.
And I was like, uh, first offthe Gen X reference.
Please, please.
So he guides us through thisand.

(58:04):
His take on these things wasjust so comforting.
Like, he's like, I hate that.
Um, I'm, I'm about to like dropsome rhymes on you.
Like it was a lot of thesewrapped vernacular wrapped up
into Buddhist meditation and Iwas like, this, this cat is
awesome.
Thank you so much for making melaugh and making me not take

(58:24):
this shit so seriously.
He, he so awesome.
So we, uh, then he's like, Hey,if anyone needs a book signed
first, you can buy my book inthe bookstore and then I will be
at the cafe and I will sign it.
So that's what we did and it wasnice'cause we're standing in
line and the line's taking along time because he's having an

(58:46):
actual real conversation witheveryone that's walking through
and I'm like, I don't haveanything to talk to this guy
about.
Like, I don't.
Yeah, we got our pictures takenwith him.
He is so sweet.
Yes.
So awesome.
Um, so then we get up to theline and we, we, we have a, we
have a chat with him and we did,we did fine.
Like the anxiety of being in thebook signing line.

(59:07):
I was like, I'm gonna get outtaline'cause I don't, you know,
for some reason I'm like, Idon't deserve to be in the line.
I don't deserve to get my booksigned.
Like, all of that shit goesthrough my head because I am me.
Um, and then I get up there andI'm like, I just wanted to say
thank you.
Thank you for making me laugh.
Thank you for, um, you know,making it, letting me not take
it so seriously.
He's like high fiving us.

(59:27):
It was awesome.
And, and uh, we, we head intothe night, the evening session.
And the evening session isreally just, uh, a fasu doing
some sound bowls.
Becky, you know what a soundbowl is?

Becca (59:39):
I love sound bowls.
I so much fun.
And we, whenever the store wouldbe empty, my manager would like,
we had big ones and we hadsmaller ones.
So Nice.
So nice, so

Chris (59:53):
cool.
I do dig a sound bowl.
So he did a little sound bowlmeditation with us.
Yes.
And then, then he went throughhis album and the, well, first,
Sarah and I are the first onesthere.
'cause again, there's nothingelse to do.
So we knit and crochet and shelays down for as long as she's
gonna be able to lay downwithout falling asleep.
And then we gotta get her outinto the cold again.

Becca (01:00:14):
Mm-hmm.

Chris (01:00:15):
Uh, we're the first ones there for, for this session.
And they had taken away all thechairs and they're like, just
grab some pillows.
And, uh, we set ourselves up,Hey, we got to pick our spot.
And we set ourselves up.
Like we, we picked a biggercushion and then a smaller
cushion, the bigger cushion tomark our spots so no one could
touch us.
And then we got like comfy,comfy meditation as pillows,

(01:00:39):
which make, uh, sitting, uh,crisscross applesauce, very
comfortable.
And then we got little chairsthat had backs, like stadium
chairs.
We were hooked up.
And then, uh, ladies came inafter us and they were like, we
don't know what to do.
I'm like, why don't you just dowhat we did?
We don't know what we're doingeither.
So that, I like those kinds ofinteractions with strangers when

(01:00:59):
they told me that I'm smart andthat they like my little setup.
So they did that.
Then everyone filtered in.
It was, it was very nice.
We were very happy to be thefirst ones there and be the, the
ringleader of that group.
Fun stuff.
And then, uh, a Fasu kind of didhis whole album and it was rap
about Buddhist shit and it wasawesome.

(01:01:20):
And as someone who maybe notisn't the biggest fan of hip
hop, these are otherwise I likedit.
Sarah, on the other hand, is ahuge fan and uh, she also
enjoyed it.
So I think a good time was hadby all Sarah.
Any any thoughts on that?
After like, after the afternoonsession and feeling like a piece
of shit and then a fasu and thedance party, um, he made it all

(01:01:43):
better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's the, that's themoral of the story is then I
could go back to, back to myroom and I could read my new
dharma.
Dharma Brain book

Sarah (01:01:54):
and, and he said shit like that, that made sense to
me.
Like he said things like, whatthe fuck are you talking about?
I would've chose, I definitelywould've fucking chose something
different.
Like he said the up word a lotand I'm, which really into that
anyway.
Go ahead.

Chris (01:02:09):
Yeah.
I mean, he said butt ass nakedabout something.
It was great.
Naked.
A mother motherfucker was a veryimportant but ass

Sarah (01:02:16):
naked motherfucker.
Something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was.

Chris (01:02:20):
He was my jam.
He wa he was, he was awesome.
I think everyone enjoyed it.
Um, there were probably a, acouple people that didn't, he
also thanked us for not sayinganything stupid.

Sarah (01:02:30):
Us being the white people.

Chris (01:02:32):
Right.
Which I enjoy.
Thank uh, and I'm like, okay,well now I can't talk to him
'cause I don't wanna be the onewho ruins it.
Um, so we, we, we drift off tosleep.
Oh, and I should mention thateveryone in our cabin had
typhoid.
Our cabin was very sick likethis.

(01:02:52):
Like we lay down on Friday nightto go to sleep and someone went
constantly for an hour and 25minutes.
It wasn't me either.
Oh, it wasn't

Sarah (01:03:03):
me.

Chris (01:03:03):
Like I almost texted Sarah and said, shut up.
But it wasn't her, her and Ialmost texted

Sarah (01:03:08):
her and said, I swear to God, that's not me.

Chris (01:03:13):
So the, the last day we get up and, uh, Sarah and I and
I decide we're not gonna go tothe community cafeteria, we're
just gonna sit in the cafe andhave a breakfast sandwich and a
lovely artisan made coffee.
Delicious.
So we head on to the lastsession and the last session.
It really is just kind of a wrapup of the, of the whole whole

(01:03:34):
week and then questions from theaudience.
And I was surprised to run intosomebody that, well, Sarah ran
into her.
Kelly that we had met the firstnight and she felt the same way
that we did.
And this was actually her secondmeditation party.
Like this is the second timeshe's done this particular
retreat with Dan Harris and, andthese guys.

(01:03:54):
And she was like, yeah, lastnight I felt like a piece of
shit.
Like, I don't know why I'm here,why I'm doing any of this and
I'm terrible at it.
And I wanted to be at the danceparty and then I didn't wanna be
at the dance party.
So like, it felt like everyonecame into Sunday with like a,
alright, let's get a, let's geta little reset going.
And the questions were good, theconversation was good.

(01:04:16):
Learning about people'sdifferent journeys and, and
where they are.
And kind of like reallyunderstanding that there's no
rules.
Like Zen Buddhism has a bunch ofrules which I'm gonna look into
'cause I dig rules, but they'relike.
The, the science will tell youthat as long as you are sitting
quietly concentrating on yourbreathing and trying to be more

(01:04:37):
mindful, like just that piece.
And I have to say that foranyone watching on YouTube,
Sarah looks angelic right now.
Like the light is coming in andshe's, it's, she's so quickly
too, right?
Right.
Like, I am distracted by thekaleidoscope of colors that she
is baking.
Right.
I'm letting it go.
I'm letting it play out.

(01:04:58):
Yeah.
I, I love it.
I love it.
But yeah, I think that, thateveryone came, came in like on,
on Sunday ready to just ready tojust be, and it was, it was a
nice way to, to end things.
And I will admit that, that kindof around 10 30, I started
checking out because I was like,all right, we got a long drive
home.
Let's go, let's go, let's go,let's go.

(01:05:19):
And maybe that is one of thethings that, that maybe
continued meditation will helpcalm down, is the fact that I
can't sit and be present at athing without.
Trying to be someplace else atthe same time.
Well, that's kind of, I

Sarah (01:05:33):
had the same thing happen.
I don't think I said anythingabout it, but like, I was like,
alright, let's just get thefuck.
Like, there was, I, I had tophysically stop myself from
saying, alright, let's go, let'sjust go now so we can get outta
here before everybody else.
I mean, you know how I, like, Iwould need to get outta the
parking lot.
I don't wanna sit in tra like,and that like, and I, I kept, I

(01:05:55):
think that was my biggestbattle.
Like the last probably half hourto 45 minutes was, okay, stop.
This is literally what you'rehere for.
You are here to not worry aboutwhat's happening in a half hour
when you have to leave and justfocus on what's happening now.
So I feel like that was actuallya very good practice at the end
of all of it, considering whatwe were there for.

(01:06:16):
But that's, that is what I didand that's it.
It seems like, oh my God, I am,I'm failing because here I am
thinking about, but I wasn'tfailing because I realized I was
thinking about that.
I was aware and, and going backto it and saying, okay, it's
fine.
Let's get back into it.
And then progress 30 secondslater, I was like, oh, we should

(01:06:39):
just get the fuck outta here andthen, no, let's get back.
So, I mean, that's what, that'swhat it's about.

Chris (01:06:47):
Yeah.
I think we, we ended up on areally nice note.
We met, actually, the lady whosat next to us at the end was
one of our cabin mates, uh,Lisa.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and we, we had heard her onFriday night having a
conversation with her childrenback home.
Very cute.
So it was very sweet.
She was a very nice lady.
She was a therapist.
And I will say thatcollectively, the group of
people there, when somebody saidsomething deep and meaningful,

(01:07:09):
everyone went, oh, and it wasone of the most.
Horrible and annoying things tome on Friday, but by Sunday I
was like, oh, mm, I would

Becca (01:07:24):
feel so seen and so heard.
I would feel so reassured.
Like, oh, thank you, thank youeverybody.

Chris (01:07:30):
Generational differences right there.
I'm like, why won't these peopleshut up?
And again, Becca, I think maybeyou're just starting at a more
zen level than, than I am.
'cause I'm like, I hate everyonewho seems to be better at this
and more understanding of thisthan, than I'm so, and uh, I
think finally like, getting outof there, like we're racing to

(01:07:51):
the car.
Like we're at a concert and, uh,we were the, we were the only
people that were leaving

Sarah (01:07:58):
because I am like the progressive, is it progressive
commercial?
Like turning into your parents?
Like we don't have to plan ourexit before the event even
starts.
Like that's, but we should, me,I'm always like, okay, so what
time are we gonna leave so wedon't have to deal with these
other motherfuckers?
Like what?

Chris (01:08:15):
Right.
We had the option to leave oursuitcases on the porch of our,
our little cabin that was 500miles away.
And we were like, nah, dog,we're gonna take'em to the car.
That way they're already in thecar when we're leaving.

Sarah (01:08:28):
Mm-hmm.
And we don't have to

Chris (01:08:29):
mess

Sarah (01:08:29):
with anything else.

Chris (01:08:30):
We look like Nepalese Sherpas dragging our shit down
this mountain.
Like if you can imagine being upby Zeta at Bethany and dragging
things to the cafeteria, that's,that's what we look like.
Like,

Becca (01:08:42):
oh man.

Chris (01:08:43):
Covered, covered in all of our shit that we didn't need
to bring turns out.

Sarah (01:08:47):
Mm-hmm.

Chris (01:08:47):
Like I literally could have

Sarah (01:08:49):
brought two outfits.

Chris (01:08:50):
Right.
I could have packed in a plasticgrocery bag.

Sarah (01:08:53):
Mm-hmm.

Chris (01:08:54):
I mean, I wouldn't have, because that would've been
unkind to the environment, whichI think was a big important
thing to these guys.
And I didn't wanna be offensive,

Sarah (01:09:00):
felt kind of bad that I had a plastic cup.
Right.
Not, and it was a reusableplastic cup, but it was still
plastic and I felt like that waswrong.

Becca (01:09:09):
But it's reusable.

Sarah (01:09:11):
Yeah.
I think that, so I just wentwith it.
I just went with it.

Chris (01:09:14):
And one of my favorite, one of my favorite parts, the
retreat was great, but drivinghome and listening to
self-compassion with Sarah.
Um, so we had Kristen Neff'sbook and her name came up a
couple of times during theretreat.
And while we were driving home,I'm like, let's listen to the
book.
So we were listening to the booktogether and um, a lot of the

(01:09:37):
self-compassion stuff is beingable to have the awareness to
pause and say, Hey, you don'thave to call yourself an idiot.
You don't have to tell otherpeople that you're an idiot.
You are a human being and partof being a human being is
messing up and making mistakes.
Now let's take some ownershipand plan where we're gonna go
from here.
Let's, let's let the past be thepast.

(01:09:59):
Let's accept who we are and tryto be at the same time, try to
be a better person and let's goforward and let's not worry so
much about other people'sopinions and let not worry so
much about, you know,preemptively telling people that
you're an asshole.
And on the surface, that seemseasy, right?

(01:10:20):
Like, oh yeah, sure, no, I cantotally be kind to myself.
But being kind to myself oftenstarts out with, Hey asshole,
maybe you don't do that.
So this is, this is going to bea little bit more challenging,
uh, than maybe I first thought,but it is also going to be very
valuable according to theresearch.

(01:10:42):
Like, as you know, she really,Kristen f gets into a lot about
self-esteem and the differencebetween self-esteem and
self-compassion and how maybewe've done a disservice, Becca,
to your generation by makingsure that you all have fantastic
self-esteem.
I mean, our parents started itand we just carried it forward.
We're like, everybody is aunique little darling snowflake.

(01:11:05):
That has to be the best andmaybe we should have been, like
everyone is a unique littlesnowflake that has to be as they
are.
That difference would havechanged a generation of entitled
little pricks to people thatwould actually be able to
self-reflect.
And since Sarah and I got alittle taste of that as we grew
up in our, uh, Mr.

(01:11:26):
Rogers era, that we, we havesome work to do as well.
Like we have because, uh, a lotof my self-esteem comes from
people telling me that I'm good.
That a lot of my self-esteem andmy self-worth and my value comes
from people telling me that I'mgood and I'm valuable.
And maybe instead of relying onother people to do that, I can

(01:11:47):
look inside and be like, you'regood, you're valuable.
And I don't need the externalfor that, but that is gonna take
a, a little bit of work, likehard work, I think.
And it's interesting to me thatI can be so kind to Sarah when
she says things like, you're anidiot.
I'm like, you're not an idiot.
You're human.

(01:12:07):
I have a very, very, very hardtime doing the same thing to
myself.
So, yeah.
Interesting.
Even the car ride home was fullof like insights and uplifting

Sarah (01:12:18):
things, and that's, I mean, one of the best practices
is talking to yourself like youwould a friend, right?
Talking to yourself, givingyourself the advice that you
would give someone else, that'sa very eye-opening.
Again, very simple.
Sounds very simple.
It is a very simple thing to do,to stop yourself and be like,
okay, well what would I say to afriend?
And then you say that and you'relike, yeah, that makes sense.

(01:12:39):
But saying it to yourself is alittle bit harder, but just
getting yourself to think aboutit is something that makes a big
difference.

Chris (01:12:48):
Yep.
Yep.
I'm, I'm very, I'm very keen tocontinue reading the, the
self-compassion and, and really,and I was so excited about it
that I, I called Oliviayesterday on Sunday, maybe?
Yeah, on Sunday.
And she's having, she was havinga really bad day.
It's cold, it's dark, it'sscary.
Like she's, finals are coming upand it's, it's a bad time for

(01:13:10):
her.
And I was like so excited aboutself-compassion and I'm like,
and she's like, I have to go.
I was like, oh no, sorry.
I made every conversation aboutme.
I love you.
You're the voice in my head whenI have self-compassion for
myself.
Love you.
Bye.

Becca (01:13:27):
Wow.
I didn't even think aboutfinals.
And then I saw that it was endof October and I was like, yeah.

Sarah (01:13:35):
Ugh.
End of October.
Yay.

Chris (01:13:37):
Sorry, Sarah, you had your hand out.
That's okay.

Sarah (01:13:39):
I just wanted to say one of my, my other favorite things
about the drive home and um, wehave to hurry, was giving
yourself a name for you to talkto yourself.
Like, I call my brain, my brainvoice, but when I talk to
myself, like my brain voice isseparate.
It's not me, but when you'retalking self-compassion, you
have to talk to yourself.
So like, I feel like maybe Ishould just be like, Hey Sarah,

(01:14:00):
like I should just refer tomyself as myself.
But Kristen now refers toherself as darling, which I
found smarmy ridiculous.
So I have decided that my nameis motherfucker and I feel it
works.
It works.
It sounds mean, but it works.
Listen, motherfucker, just stop.

(01:14:21):
Just stop.
That's not how you need to feel.
Motherfucker.
Like it works great.
Christine's is Bud.
Hey Bud.
Hey.
Hey Bud.
Hey Bud.

Becca (01:14:31):
Hey bud.
Mine's silly Goose.
I call myself silly, sillygoose, silly goose.
I love silly.
Silly is mainly silly, but sillyor silly goose, where I'll be
like, all right, silly.
Like, absorb, take a second,don't worry about it.
Or be like, oh, you were a sillygoose, but that's okay.
Don't worry about it happens tothe best of us, and I just keep
going.
Amen.

Chris (01:14:50):
Roll Right on.
All right, ladies.
Um, I love that, like, settingit up took us 35 minutes and
then walking through all thelessons took us another hour.
Good.
It was, it was so good, and I'mso glad that we did it, and I'm
so glad that you went, and I'msorry that you were sick, but
awesome.
I think it's, you know, I, Imeditated yesterday, like, I

(01:15:11):
actually sat down and did apractice yesterday for the first
time.
And other than just like takingabout five minutes, being like,
okay, breathe, breathe, breathe,breathe, breathe.
This time I sat down and likereally got into a position and
closed my eyes and, and went forit and yeah.
I think if nothing else, thiskind of set me up to really

(01:15:32):
understand the benefits oftrying to do that and being
here, being present, and all ofthat mindful bullshit.
So love it.
Thanks sir.
Yay.
Happy for you guys.
Thanks.
Thanks.
That is our, that is our veryspecial episode of The Mental
Funny Bone, and I have to say itto you guys.
Uh, namaste.

(01:15:53):
Namaste, motherfuckers.
Namaste.
Namaste motherfuckers.
I think that's how we're in theepisode.
Bye, motherfucker.
Bye bud.
Silly Goose.
We'll talk to you later.