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April 4, 2024 99 mins
From his own journey of losing weight and gaining muscle, Aaron's transformation inspired him to help others achieve their fitness goals.Starting as someone determined to improve his own health, Aaron evolved into a certified personal trainer and underwent various programs. Despite facing his own struggles and moments of doubt, he remains dedicated to his mission, driven by his love for his family and the desire to make a positive impact on others' lives. Now, using his knowledge and experience to guide others towards success, he understands the challenges of starting a fitness journey, especially from home, and developed innovative workouts using household items to achieve his goals.Leading by example, Aaron is now coaching individuals to overcome obstacles and stay motivated on their fitness journey. Get to know more about Aaron Reinheimer through Freeminded Health and Fitness Podcast
To learn more about myself, Michael Esposito, and find out about public speaking workshops, coaching, and keynote speaking options, and - of course - to be inspired, visit www.michaelespositoinc.com
The Michael Esposito Show is hosted by Michael Esposito and produced by iHeartMedia Hudson Valley. Be sure to subscribe on iHeart Media, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, Google Play, YouTube, or the podcasting app of your choice.
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(00:00):
This show is sponsored by dn tenInsurance Services, helping businesses get the right
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quote dn ten dot io and remember, when you buy an insurance policy from
dent ten, you're giving back ona global scale. Hello all, my

(00:21):
entrepreneurs and business leaders, and welcometo the Michael Esposito Show, where I
interview titans of industry in order toinform, educate and inspire you to be
great. My guest today has donea little bit of everything until he found
his niche in fitness. He startedFree Minded Health and Fitness podcast to help

(00:43):
people accomplish their personal goals. He'san avid basketball player, an avid coach,
a fitness trainer at a local gym, and is trying to help others
lose weight and get to their goalsas quickly as possible. Please, well,
welcome Aaron Reinheimer. Thank you forhaving me. It's a pleasure to
be on here. That's pretty coolto have you on. Definitely, we've

(01:07):
talked about it a lot, soit's nice to actually get on here.
And an old time basketball buddy,although we haven't played basketball together in a
while. It well you know,it's like if it's outdoors, it's either
raining or super hot, and thenit's like, forget trying to play indoors
nowadays, Yeah, it's it's tough. Well, you work out at a
gym that used to have a reallygood little indoor court. It was a

(01:30):
fun little indoor court, but itwas small, so but it was at
least something to go shoot around onand play on. I play in there.
They told me when I started there, they were like, oh,
yeah, we got rid of thebasketball court. And I'm like, but
but why And they're like, oh, because there's too many fights. Yeah,
Like, but it's a basketball court, and it was one of my
It was one of the big reasonsI wanted to work there. I will

(01:53):
attest to seeing a lot of argumentsup there that led to worst things,
but I think that that also todo with just not being supervised appropriately.
But that's a whole other conversation thatwe're not getting into today, because today
we're talking about fitness. Yes,and you know, I've known you now,

(02:13):
man, is it like seven sixor seven years? Right? That
might be longer than that, right, because I don't think I don't think
I had kids yet. When wemet playing basketball. I think you had
one. I had Denise maybe,yeah, so yeah, I think I
had one. So so Denise iseight, So that's at least seven years
ago when we first met. Andwhen we first met, I remember you

(02:34):
were you were not in the bestshape of your life, not at all,
and I would I would even sayeven mentally, because I remember you
and I having a really great conversationat my old office and just kind of
like your mental state wasn't right.But today I look at you and you're
You're fit, you you're you havefull of energy, you're happy, you're
talking about things for the future.So a whole shift has happened, and

(02:58):
I'm interested in going back to thattime when things weren't working out well and
how you got yourself out of that. Oh man, those were some rough
days, you know. Back thenit was such a challenge. You know,
I was a father of one atthe time, my son was on
the way, and I was justin a really bad place, you know.
I just I didn't know what Iwanted to do far as career wise,

(03:22):
and I knew that I wanted tofind something that helped people. But
you got to make money. Youknow, you need to have some kind
of job and some kind of career. So I was just kind of going
with the motions and doing whatever Icould financially to find something, and it
just never stuck. You know,I'd never found something, and I was
like, this is what I wantto do, this is how I actually

(03:43):
you know, enjoy and it wasalways this, this back and forth.
You know. I still work tothis day with my dad's plumbing company,
and you know, it's you're helpingout family. You know, you're making
some form of paycheck, but it'snot fulfilling. You know. He finds
a fulfilling which is great, butit's never been my thing. You know,
going into people's homes and working ontheir pipes and all this stuff is
a necessity for sure, but it'snot a it's not an enjoyment for me,

(04:06):
you know, it's it's it's apaycheck. That's how I've always viewed
it, you know. And I'vealways looked at myself and said I wanted
to do more. I wanted tomake a bigger impact on people. And
you know, you say that andthe concept is always like, well,
I want to leave my mark,you know, on the world. What
what are people going to say thirtyforty years from now about this person?

(04:28):
And I've always looked and it's like, well, what have I done?
You know? What can I doto leave that mark to not only for
myself, but for everybody else,my kids, my family, and just
people around where. It's like,I want to do something that people will
remember and that people will appreciate,you know. We I feel like nowadays,
it's it we're so focused on moneythat we forget that we all matter,

(04:49):
and we all need to be healthy, and we all need to do
all these things. And it's like, well, maybe let's look at how
we can help each other, youknow, instead of just one tra minded.
So you know, for me,it was trying to find that one
thing that allowed me to help otherpeople and help myself, you know.

(05:10):
So I got into the gym andI was like, I have no idea
what I'm doing. So I gotmy own trainer. At the time,
you know, I was very inexperiencedat the time. Internet was the Internet,
It's like it always has been.And so I got this trainer.
He's a really nice guy and walkedme through some basic stuff. And I'm
sitting there and I'm going through it, and I'm like, okay, So
I got into it, you know, I just kind of jumped right in,

(05:30):
started running and lifting weights and whateverwhatever, and then COVID hit.
So then it's like, okay,well, what the heck do I do?
Now I've already kind of been ina groove for a couple months.
Wait, really wasn't coming off justyet, but I was. I was
consistent, and I'm sitting there andI'm like, well, you can't go
to the gym anymore. You mightget COVID. COVID's at his peak.
People are dying, like things arecrazy. So I'm sitting there and I'm

(05:53):
like, okay, well I'm home. What am I gonna do? And
I sat down and I started lookinginto calisthetics, which is, you know,
using your own body weight and howdoes that help with losing weight?
And then I started running outside anddoing hit workouts, which are literally again
using your own body weight in superhigh intensity cardio ways. So I'm sitting

(06:14):
there and I'm going through it,and then now it fast forward a couple
months, the weights dropping off,I'm feeling better, I'm able to do
more, and now we're picking upsteam and lo and behold the weightsdropping off.
I'm getting stronger now, I'm doingpull ups, you know, and
there's all these things that people lookat and they're like, well, I
can't do that, and I'm sittingthere and I'm like, all right,
cool, I can now. Andnow you just start hearing, well,

(06:39):
how did you get there? Youlost thirty forty fifty pounds. Help me,
you know, and I'm like,all right, cool, I'm going
to show you what I do andthis is what we're gonna do. And
people are like great, And thenyou start realizing that education is so important.
And if you don't have that treesomeone with diabetes or recovering from injury

(07:02):
or dealing with any kind of healthissue, if you're not educated, you
have no idea what you're doing.So here I am sit and there going
well, I lost all this weight, I feel great. Let me help
you, let's do it. AndI'm dealing with all these different varieties of
people that I really don't know whatto help. So I'm sitting there and
I'm like, I'm not trying tobe rude to you, but I'm not
educated enough to truly help you.And that's a reality check really quick in

(07:25):
itself, because there is so muchout there. There's people that are out
of shape and just overweight, andthey just want to reach their goals.
But if you're not educated enough tohandle that, well, you shouldn't be
dipping into that, you know,like any and it's like trying to go,
let me go into a hospital andtry to diagnose patients without having a

(07:46):
degree. It doesn't make sense.So a friend of mine had just become
a trainer, and you know,this is at this point, this is
a couple of years down the line, and he's like, dude, you
know you're doing this whole thing.Why don't you looking to get a certification
and become an actual trainer? AndI'm like, all right, you know
why not. At the time,I was in the middle of actually becoming
a court officer, so I waskind of training for that process, which

(08:09):
was doing a lot of push upsand running and all of these physical things.
So I was kind of vin Limbawaiting for that. Right after.
You know, this is right afterthe peak of COVID, so things were
kind of getting back into normal,and I had just heard about the exam,
the physical exams, so I'm like, hurry, well, let's I'm
going to explore other things in themeantime. You know, I wasn't really

(08:31):
putting too much pressure on it.And I go forward, go get the
certification, and the guy that atthe school was like, all right,
why don't you take the nutrition coursetoo, because if you're going to do
you know, physical nutrition as well. So I wound up doing the certification
for personal training. I wound updoing the certification for nutrition, and obviously,

(08:52):
you know and all that you getCPR certificated, you know, and
all that. So I did that, and I'm sitting there and I'm like,
all right, cool, I haveall these wonderful pieces of certifications,
and at some form of education,I'm like, well, now I need
a job. So I wound upgoing into a lot of different gyms,
interviewed all over the place, andgot actually quite a few job offers.

(09:15):
And the reason I wound up choosingMike's Mike Rtega's, is just because for
me, it was close to home. It was literally, I mean I
lived five minutes away from their Highlandbranch and maybe fifteen minutes away from the
Poughkeepsie branch. So I said,okay, cool, and I've been there.
Let's see, almost a year,we're getting there. It's like eight

(09:35):
months something like that. So yeah, and then this year, literally three
months ago, my wife and mewere talking and I'm sitting there and I'm
like, all right, you knowwhat's next. I'm training people, I'm
trying to do all these things,and I'm helping people, but now,
you know, I want to takeanother step. So we had talked about

(09:56):
the mental side of it. Mywife is actually in college for psychology,
so you know, she's big onmental health. You know, me being
what I've gone through in my life, just the mental side of it is
so important that I'm like, okay, well, how can I help people
not only physically but mentally? SoI started this podcast, and you know,
the podcast is just it's a safespace, you know, it's it's

(10:20):
an area for people to come andlisten to not only my story, my
wife's story, and you know,anybody I have on about their fitness journey.
You know, everybody is so widespread. Everybody, you know, you
whether you're sixty years old or twentyyears old, I don't care the age
or Some people are parents, somepeople are single, some people are in
school, some people work for jobs, like, but we're all just on

(10:43):
this one path in the sense offitness, but none of us know how
to get to where we want togo, and it can get really overwhelming.
So for me, it's like,well, I don't have all the
knowledge. I've just just a tinylittle bit. But if I can use
that with the experiences I've had,you know, now training physically, can
I can I take that and buildon it and now try to give people

(11:07):
you know, I get it,you know that that relating that allowing them
to see into me and say,Okay, you know, I see where
you're at. I may not begoing through the exact same thing you're going
through, but let me help you. Let me find a way to give
you that in and create the spacefor you. But yeah, so I've
been doing that and training people,and you know, eventually I'd love to

(11:31):
go on my own and work formyself and build my own personal training side
of it. That I can kindof mess all these things together. That's
awesome, That's all. I mean. There's a lot there for us to
talk about and kind of unpack here. I kind of want to go to
what you said with dealing what youhad to deal with mentally for yourself,
because I mean we can go intoall of the other We're going to go

(11:52):
into all the other things of thecertifications and the hit workouts and dealing with
people with diabetes and all these otherthings, and of course your journey,
your your whole personal journey and losingall of that weight and the diet and
the physical activity that goes into it, because I mean, that's also a
lot of fun with what you didwith the dad bod. What is it

(12:15):
called is Goodbye dad Bod? GoodbyeDad. Yeah. I remember when I
first saw that hit Instagram for youand I was like, Oh, that's
neat, what's he doing? AndI saw the homeworkout. So a lot
to talk about there, But Ithink a great starting point for our listeners
who are probably listening to this episodehere because they're on their own fitness journey
as well, and they're looking toeither lose weight, gain muscle, try

(12:41):
a new diet, whatever it is, and are dealing with some inner demons
that we all deal with and theycome out in different ways, whether it's
with our relationships or our career,but also in terms of our fitness and
our nutrition. And so for yougoing back to put fifty pounds back on
Aaron. And in that bad mentalstate, what were some of the demons

(13:01):
that you were dealing with that youhad to overcome. I mean you you
take a look in the mirror andyou don't like what you see physically,
and it messes with the mental sideof it because it's like you start really
down speaking. For me, itwas you're not good enough. You're you're
not able to provide for your familyfinancially, You're not in shape. You
can't walk up a flight of stairswithout huffing and puffing, you know.

(13:22):
And it's playing with this little girlwho she doesn't understand. She just wants
to play with Daddy. That's allshe's thinking about. And I can't physically
do that, you know, Andit creates this mental space of just you
don't know what to do and you'reconstantly down speaking to yourself. And this
is you know, and my wifealways gives the illustration of the two wolves

(13:45):
in your head, you know whichone are you feeding? And for me,
I was always feeding the wrong wolf, you know. It was telling
myself that I'm not good enough,that I can't do these things, that
I'm never going to reach the goalsthat I want to reach. And you
know, for me, I fellinto depression. I've always dealt with anxiety
most of my life. So youknow, all of these aspects, you
understand how they affect you emotionally,mentally, physically, Like all of these

(14:11):
things tied together, people don't understand, Like you could be in the best
shape of your life. You couldhave a six pack of them and be
able to run thirteen miles. Idon't care. But if your mental health
isn't there, that means nothing becauseyou're you're only taking care of maybe a
small piece of yourself. So youknow, I had to fix the mental
side first while fixing the physical.And you know, you find your I
talk about it all the time,your why, you know, why do

(14:33):
we do this? Why do wewake up? And I got that from
you, so you know I tookthat and run with it, and it's
that concept of just understanding why arewe doing what we're doing. The motivation
behind everything and for me is mykids and my wife and just being a

(14:54):
better human being and being happier.And I'm not going to say it's easy,
because it's not. You know,there are people every day that deal
with depression and anxiety and that areon medication for it or going through different
kinds of therapies. Like, thereis so much involved in mental health,
and for me, it was tryingto solve this Rubik's cube, you know,
of just everything is so mixed up, but how do we get to

(15:16):
solid colors? You know? Howdo we get to even even somewhat solid
you know, maybe it's not allthe way healed, but at least to
a point where it's manageable and youknow where you're going and how you want
to take the next step. Sothat was, you know, it was
it was definitely a tough hill toclimb. A Rubik's cube is such a
good analogy of the mental because it'slike, well, I mean for me

(15:37):
at least, it's a good analogybecause for those who can solve it,
it's not maybe not the best analogyyep. But for me, because I
could never solve it exactly. Theclosest I get is to maybe like three
or six colors on one side.And I'm like, all right, that's
like an accomplishment. But like whatI'm saying in terms of that analogy for
me and how and how that worksin terms of never being able to solve

(15:58):
a ruberscube is like, that's kindof like how the mind is. Anyway
the mind is, You're never goingto solve the mind. And I think
that when you release that from fromthinking, right of like I'm just understanding
that we're never going to be perfect. Understanding that, like, the mind
is always going to go through thesehighs and lows of happiness and sadness and

(16:19):
guilt and depression and all of thesedifferent feelings. That's part of the mind.
There's no perfect color in the mindexactly. And so I love that
Rubik's cubanaloga because there are some dayswhere we're going to get like six or
seven colors in a row and we'relike, well, this is awesome.
And then there's other days where weflip that cube over and it's just like
all fifteen colors and you're like,what just happened on the side, how

(16:41):
did this happen here? I alwayssay it on my podcast, celebrate the
winds. If you get that daywhere you get even five of those colors,
like that is just celebrated because itdoes so much for your mental health
of just understanding that you did somethingpositive. Yeah, take that and run
with it. Let's go to thedepression here for a second and highlighting that

(17:03):
a little bit, so I'll speakabout myself here just real quick, so
that we can kind of have somerelatability in terms of this. So I
didn't realize that I was in adepressive state. And I think so many
people kind of experience that as well, is that they don't know that they're
in a depressive state. They justthink that like life just sucks, and
then when you when you find yourway out of it, you're like,

(17:23):
oh, okay, I was actuallydepressed back then. So for me,
it was actually in between. Itwas in between working in the marketing world
and then getting my insurance license,which from there on I was fine.
But in between that time was Ihad been job hopping from different marketing companies

(17:44):
from one to the other, andI rode the rollercoaster of like highs and
lows of being rep of the monthand Agent of the year and all these
different great accolades to getting fired tobeing like Nope, you suck, You're
out, and not understanding why,and I that you brought up the purpose
piece because it was at the timeI didn't understand my purpose and the depressive

(18:06):
state that I hit was. Iremember there was two specific spot, two
specific times. One where I didn'tknow I was depressed because all I was
doing was hanging out with my friendsand out drinking and having a good time.
So I thought that I was justhaving a good time. But really
what that was was probably me overcompensating for depression and not realizing what I
was doing. But the time thatI knew, or that I'm able to

(18:27):
identify as a depressive state for mein my life was my wife was pregnant.
I had just been fired, Ibelieve for my last job. My
wife was pregnant, and I wastrying to figure out what I'm going to
do next, and I was thinkingabout, well, you know, I
always wanted to be an actor,so I started getting into the acting field
and everything. But right before Iwas even able to make that step,

(18:51):
I remember I'm sitting on the couchand this was like going days on end
of like not having a job,not knowing where to go, kind of
like trying to look at all thejob sites and look for another marketing job,
another job, just going through thatcycle. And at the same time
and this is like so vivid tome. You know ESPN is on,
because that's all I would watch isjust ESPN. And it's like, you

(19:15):
start it in the morning show,right, you watch the ESPN Morning Show.
And if you've ever gone through thecycle, god bless you. But
you watch the morning show. Thenyou watch the next ESPN what is it
Sports Center? Yep. Then youwatch whatever's on next first Take or PTI,
and then then argument one of withSkip Bayless and whatever, and then
you watch the other one and andand you watch all of them, right,

(19:38):
And you know, maybe the firstcouple of days of watching all of
these shows consecutively, they all feela little bit different because it's different hosts.
But after about a week of it, you start realizing every one of
these is the same exact show,went different hosts. And I think that
that is when finally I was justlike, wait a second here, I've

(20:00):
been watching way too much ESPA exactTV, like I've been I've been watching
way too much ESPN here, andwhat is going on? And I mean,
eventually, you know, I didend up booking some acting gigs and
learning that acting was a calling anda passion of mine and I and I
started finding my why and getting intomotivational and inspirational stuff and working towards that,

(20:22):
and then understanding that acting wasn't thebest for my family situation. And
that's when I got insurance license andwent down the path of insurance and the
world kind of opened up for mefrom there. But I remember that time.
I looked back at it and I'mlike, yeah, I was seriously
depressed. I seriously was depressed.And there were there were thoughts that went
through my mind of of ending itall of just like this isn't worth it,

(20:42):
of all of those thoughts. ButI thought they were normal. I
thought it was just, yeah,I got fired, I'm looking for a
job, my wife's pregnant. Ofcourse I'm feeling this way. But it
was depression, and it took awhile to get myself out of it,
like I said, from finding mypassion, from finding getting people around me,
Tony Robbins and things like that.So I'm interested in in what yours

(21:03):
maybe looked like and how you wereable to walk yourself out of it.
I mean, it's it's for me. It was the analogy I could give
you is days feel black and white. You you don't you wake up you
go through your routine and you goto sleep and there there's no there's some
there's some rays of sunshine in there. You know, the colors start to

(21:23):
change a little bit, but itdoesn't. It's always black and white.
You wake up and it's the nothingchanges, and you're stuck in this cycle
and you're sitting there and it's like, Okay, I'm i gotta get up
for work, I gotta go dothis, I gotta make the money.
I'm home, Yay, I getto spend some time with my family.
There's that little bright light and thenit's like, oh now I gotta go

(21:44):
to sleep, go back, andit's it wound up being this just as
really dark, like it just feltlike it was always dark. It was
always raining in my world, youknow, no matter how sunny it was
around me, in my world,it was just dark. And you don't
know what that looks like in asense, because like you said, you
know, things are rough. Soit's just like, well, this is

(22:04):
just it is what it is,and I'm dealing with what I'm dealing with
and you're not really sitting there goingwell, I'm actually depressed. You know,
Like I said, I've always dealtwith anxiety I used to suffer from.
You know, even to this day, every so often I get panic
attacks from certain things triggers. Butyou know that was always kind of controlled
in a sense, and going throughdepression is very different, cause it's like

(22:26):
you don't you don't know what's goingto happen. You know, your mind
is moving some days really really slow, and then some days it's just really
really fast, because you're just allover the place. You're you're happy,
you're sad, you're up, you'redown, and it's just you're just sitting
there. You just like I don'tknow what I'm supposed to do anymore.
Like I need to make money,I need to be present, I need

(22:48):
to make sure my kids are takencare of, and at the same time,
I need to be happy, butI'm not happy. Like you're just
paying poling off all these walls.Everything's dark and you're just like okay,
and you're just sitting there and youjust look into space and people asking you,
like, what's up. Oh well, I'm just spacing out. Like
it wound up becoming this this weird, foggy, black and white world.
And you know, when I startedfixing the physical and realizing how dark that

(23:12):
mental side was. For me,it was like, okay, what are
we going to do about this?Because this isn't work. This isn't working.
And you know it's a friend ofmine used to sit there and he
was able to fix the mental first. He's still working on the physical now
and he's just he wakes up evennow, you know, we talk about
it and he's like, I wakeup and I changed my mental right when

(23:36):
I wake up, and it's like, today's gonna be a good day.
It doesn't matter what happens, You'regoing to wake up and today is going
to be a good day. Thereis going to be some bad in there,
but it's going to be a goodday no matter no matter how you
cut it, no matter what youdo with it, today is going to
be a good day. And itwinds up changing everything because you set the
tone, you started your day withthat in mind, and you ran with

(23:59):
it. You know, now there'sa lot more light in there. You
know, you're seeing things that aren'tthere or weren't as bright before. You
know. So for me, Itook that and I try to incorporate that
every day. You know, asmuch as we're all kind of in this
mundane We have to work, wehave to do these things, but how
can we change how we view it? You know, do something first of
all, try to find something youactually like to do. You know it's

(24:22):
not for everybody, you know,because careers or careers, but try to
find at least something you do inyour day that you actually want to do.
And it's not just for a paycheck. You know, for me that
that is personal training. I'm gonnabe honest. It's not a lucrative field.
I don't make tons of money.I wish it did, but it
doesn't, you know, and yeah, exactly, yes, so you know

(24:44):
it's it's it's something I thoroughly enjoydoing. I like seeing people hit their
goals and being able to see theirpromise and the difference in their own personalities.
You know, someone who comes inand they're like, oh, really
overweight. You know, my jointshurt. This hurts. That hurts,
and you're like, okay, welllet's fix it. You know it's going
to take this this amount of time, this is what you have to commit
to whatever whatever, And once theyslowly make progress, you know, of

(25:08):
course we hit that point where it'slike, well, I've been doing this
for a month. Why I haven'tlost fifty pounds. Well, it didn't
take you a month to put onfifty pounds, you know, So that's
a whole nother story. But youknow, it's the concept of for me,
the happiness that people get when they'reable to look in the mirror and
they see the changes and it doeshelp your mental you know it. You're

(25:30):
now you're like, oh, okay, I feel better physically, and it's
like a right, well, now, you know, maybe things aren't so
dim and dark, you know,maybe things actually are a little bit brighter.
You know, so I try toeven to you know, for now,
I try to find the positive,and it's not always easy to find.
You know. Obviously I'm very blessed. I have three kids, my
wife, and my family, andthat's my biggest blessing, no question.

(25:53):
But you know, there's a lotof other aspects to life. You know,
we focus on the good, butsometimes the beast I can just engulf
and block out what we have.And you know, I've always told like,
you should be really happy you haveyour family whatever. I love my
family with all my heart. Butwork does mess with you, you know,
your job and your career and allthese other aspects. It messes with

(26:15):
you and it kind of grabs holdof you. So taking that aspect,
I mean, you know, foryou work full time, it's forty hours
of your work week if not more, that you're out and about with other
people and servicing whatever you're doing,and you gotta find happiness there, not
just at home. Like so it'sit's it's taking everything for me and trying

(26:36):
to find the little rays of sunshineand focusing on that's that's how I fixed
it, or still fixing it.I should say, well, yeah,
like you said, focusing on thewinds. You said it earlier, as
like you know with your podcast,is that you know, focusing on the
winds is like one of the mostimportant things. And wins give you momentum.
When you focus on wins, theygive you momentum. I've had to
shift the way that I run mybusiness at Den ten and start reaching out

(26:59):
to be people for insurance. Imean, you and I spoke not too
long ago about it, right,This was something that was different for me
because when I you know, ofcourse I came from the sales in from
being in sales, but when Istarted my business two years ago. My
idea of my business was that Iwas going to hire a bunch of salespeople.
They were going to do the sales, and I was going to manage
the business. And unfortunately it didn'twork out that way. And you know,

(27:22):
I'm glad I'm in a good mentalstate because that could have. When
I think about it, and Icompare where I am now in terms of
like life and business compared to thattime I was fired, It's like,
this is a much different situation thathas a lot more at stake right now
than I did even then, becauseeven then it was just like just find
a job. Now it's like Igot people who work for me and work

(27:44):
with me, who depend on thelivelihood of my business and and my family
too, and I've personally invested andcommitted to it. I have more to
lose now than ever before. Butyet, even in a place where this
isn't working out the way I wantedit, to a good mental state to
be able to make it work.And it has a lot to do with
focusing on the wins. So backto this whole sales thing of like,

(28:06):
well, I don't have all thesalespeople, you know, I had a
few salespeople. Unfortunately it didn't workout. And you know, recruiting is
recruiting, and when you can't offera salary, it's it's it's rather challenging
a salary or benefits. It's ratherchallenging to find people. And I understand
that and appreciate it, of course. So I'm selling now, right,
and it's not hard for me tosell the personality for it. But it's

(28:30):
not hard for me to sell,it's just that I also want to.
I'm also very conscious of the peoplearound me, and I'm conscious of like
my friendships and my relationships, andI don't want to blur the line between
being a salesperson and being a friend. You want to be that guy,
exactly want. I want you tocome to me at a party or a
networking event or at a basketball thingand just be able to just talk to

(28:52):
Michael and not feel any hid anagenda behind behind me. And I think
I tried to you. You'll tellme if I'm wrong on that, but
I tried to at least I thinki'd keep a good balance in that.
Now you definitely do. So whereI'm going with this is that it's still
so it's challenging still to reach outto friends, family, and even cold
people for insurance. But what Ilearned is that, and I learned it

(29:15):
early in my life, but I'mexperiencing it right now, is that like,
once I start reaching out to acouple of people, and even if,
like you know, like one ofthe days I sent like twenty text
messages out and in that day onlylike out of the twenty maybe like three
responded. But I focused on thosethree and I got right back to them
and we started going back and forth. Those three right and focusing on that

(29:37):
was like WHOA, I could doa couple more text messages. And then
I did a couple more text messagesand then I was just like, you
know, I had scanned through mycontacts and it was a couple of people
that I overlooked, and I wasjust like because I was nervous in the
beginning of contacting them, because Iwas like, I don't know if I
should or if I shouldn't. Butthe momentum from those others who contacted me
back was like you know what,Yeah, I'm going to go for it,

(30:00):
right, I'm going to go forit. And finally, like this
morning, same thing was like beforeI came here at iHeart was, I
was like, you know, Ijust want to send out ten emails before
I head out for the day today. I just wanted to ten ten cold
emails to these business cards that Ipicked up over the week, and I
started with doing them. Next thingI know, I'm twenty five in I'm

(30:22):
like, I just couldn't get awayfrom it because I was just like,
I'm in a groove. I gotthese people, and even though nobody responded
yet, because it was like seventhirty or eight o'clock in the morning,
I was in a groove. Andso I just going back to highlighting what
you just said there of like,you know, when we're in these mental
states that are pulling us down orthat are preventing us from doing anything that
we're wanting to do, if wefocus on just that little win and stay

(30:45):
with that little win, it's goingto give us momentum and win in our
sales right to go into the otherstuff. Exactly. I can't stress that
enough. Man, Like I telleverybody, I'm like, just just celebrate
the wins like it the smallest thing. Set a goal, super small.
I mean, like walk around theblock like it's something. It sounds so
ridiculous, but it's like just gooutside, walk and be like, Okay,

(31:07):
great, I did it. Fantasticcelebrate that, like it changes everything
in your career, in your relationshipslike that one aspect of being able to
see the positive and just looking atit and going, Okay, I did
this. It's gonna it's just themomentum is just amazing. Yeah. I
love the walk around the block becauseand you and I both get this because

(31:27):
I'm in a similar situation as you, not not exactly because you're in personal
training and I'm not. But Ilost a lot of weight too, right,
and I did mine through exercise andinterm minute fasting. And we're gonna
get into all of that. We'llwe're gonna have some we're gonna have some
fun talking about all that stuff ina second. But this is kind of
like my second go around. Actuallyof it was. I want to say,

(31:48):
in my mid to late twenties,I was I was well over to
twenty. I think I was oreighteen to eighteen, two twenties the same,
and I just remember two man,I was like, I gotta I
gotta lose this, and so Istarted running and I wasn't really eating healthy.
I probably just wasn't eating I didn'tknow nutrition net back then, but
I just remember running. I losta ton of weight, and I just

(32:12):
lost a ton of weight. Iprobably got down to one eighty if I
remember correctly back then, and thenkind of gained it back recently to where
I was back at like two toten about a year and a half ago,
until I lost it all again towhere now and again I'm back at
like one seventy five one eighty.I like to be under that one eighty
mark. That's probably the healthiest forme. I did get all the way
down to one sixty five, likeit looks so great. Yeah, I

(32:35):
feel like it's too far. Peoplewere asking me if I was okay.
Yes, Medically I moved out myself, so I get it. Medically,
I am okay. I think whatit was was like my body was finding
its balance. Was like I wasdoing the intermnute fasting, I was working
out. My body was just likeburning fat like crazy. I hit one
sixty five. Everybody was worried aboutme. So I was like, all
right, maybe I'll cut back onthe inter minute fast day and started eating

(32:58):
Actually a little bit yeah, actuallyhave a salad. I had somebody say
to me, eat a sandwich.Darn it anyway. But where I'm going
with that is so people would askme, oh, what should I do?
How do I lose weight? Justthat, and they'd be out of
shape, just like I once was, right and I would say, you
know, go for a run aroundthe block, like just do do a

(33:21):
mile, do half a mile,right, just go for to go to
the mall and be a mall walkerexactly. And this is the response I
got, and this is what I'mlooking for from you, is yeah,
but that's not enough to lose weight. Man. I cannot tell you number
one how often I hear that andhow frustrating it is. Like people want
to be able to just jump intolike a marathon. They're like, well,

(33:44):
I want to lose weight, soI'm gonna go run this marathon real
quick and that'll be enough and I'lljust lose weight. And it's like,
you know how hard those people train, Like there's there's these steps that you
have to take in between we don'trun. It's like when you think of
a baby, like that's how Ialways like, like I said, the
baby steps, but think of thegrowth of a baby. Do they run,
No, they crawl, then theystart pulling themselves up, then they

(34:07):
start shimmying around, and then theywalk, then they run. Like there's
all these steps that we have totake in between each and every you know
part of this, And people arelike, put, but a mile is
not far or I walk all thetime. It doesn't do anything. You
need to actually like take that andjust start there because event like literally you

(34:28):
take that momentum and it's like,okay, I walked a mile. Well,
okay, if you feel good,keep going. Next time you run,
you know you walk too. Nowokay if you walk three miles,
maybe now you start jogging. Nowyou start running, Like, there are
progressions that we have to do inorder to number one, prevent injury,
because that's what's gonna happen to alot of people. They automatically they're like
I want to lose weight, soI'm gonna go run. Great. Then

(34:51):
they come back and they're like,I hurt my knee, my ankle hurts,
I don't want to do this anymore. Well, yeah, you jumped
in in the the eleven foot partof the pool instead of just stepping into
the three foot like there's there's progressions, it's you know, you know,
and that's the thing. So andI think that that's so important for for
everybody here is that like no matterwhere you are in your fitness and even

(35:14):
in your mental state, right,it's about the baby steps. And and
you know, uh, you know, Tony Robbins talks about this a lot,
and and I and I always givehim a lot of credit because you
know, when I was talking aboutthat depressive state that I was in at
the pressive time. So what II've talked about this on the podcast before,
so you may have heard this before, but uh, I actually was
making believe I had a job formy for my mother in law, because

(35:36):
my mother in law would come andwatch the kids and I didn't want her
to know I was fired. SoI was making believe I had a job.
And I would go to a hotel, hotel lobby close by in New
Pault's. I would, oh,you do right, I do, yeah,
And I would I would go thereand I would listen to Tony Robbins
tapes and I would literally study.I would have my my notebook open,
would take notes as if I wasat his conference, and I was,

(36:00):
and I studied it. But sothat's what I did for a while anyway.
But what he talks about is thebaby, and he says, like
the baby is like it. Itcrawls first, and it gets up to
walk and it falls. And thenit crawls again and it gets up to
walk and it falls. Cry.Would you stop, would you say,

(36:22):
you know what, my baby justcan't walk, and would you just stop
letting the baby try walking? Youwould never do that. You would just
keep helping the baby. And it'sthe same thing with all of us in
terms of our physical, our mental, our business, everything that we're doing
is realizing that we're crawling a lotof the times. And maybe we are
walking and trying to run and tripping, but we're crawling. And to realize

(36:45):
that we're gonna fall when we tryto walk, and we're gonna fall when
we try to run, and it'sabout getting back up and trying again.
But going back to this whole baby, this idea of a baby of like
just starting somewhere. You got tohave a starting point, right, and
the starting point in the physical couldjust be a walk, Yeah, right,
just a walk. So so Ithink that that's so important And the

(37:08):
next thing that I want if youcould share more about is about consistency and
setting up time for that and beingI think also not just consistency and setting
up time, but also being awareof what you're doing. Yeah, I
mean, I think consistency is keywith fitness, nutrition, with I mean,
with a lot of things in life, consistency is key, But with

(37:30):
this particular thing. You know,people get so wrapped up in the internet.
There are so many influencers everywhere andthey're like, well, I saw
this guy and he can do apull up and a push up and then
jump into a burpie and then runthree miles. It's like, okay,
cool, that's good for him.You should not start there, like,
you know, like there you're gonnaif you set that bar too high.

(37:51):
When you don't hit it, thereis no consistency because you're not gonna be
able to do it. You know, there's certain things that we need to
look at and and be realistic.You know, if you're someone that doesn't
want you know, not everyone canafford a trainer, Not everyone wants a
trainer. You know, some peoplejust want to do it on their own,
and that's totally fine, but doyour research. You know, find

(38:12):
out what's going to actually work foryou, what you can physically do to
start and run with that, youknow, and do that for let's say
three months. You know, youset the goal, I'm going to do
this workout for three months and thenbreak it into parts if you want to
do this workout for three weeks orthree months. Then you go and you
say, okay, I want tocomplete it in X amount of time,
and then the next week I wantto get it I don't know, ten

(38:34):
seconds, you know, quicker ora minute quicker, whatever, like set
the baby goals in there and slowlywork and then once you hit the three
months, now you say you reassess, Okay, this is where I'm at.
I've been doing this for this much, I've lost this much weight,
I feel this much better. Whatever, No, now what do I want
to do next? But if youdo that too quickly, you're not going
to see the goals. You're notgoing to see this success because you only

(38:55):
did it for a month. Youmight see, you know, a little
bit of change, but now nearlyenough to really motivate you and push.
So it's like set the bar low, you know, set it low,
because you're going to hit it,then you're not. If you set the
bar too high, you're not goingto reach it, you know. So
I think consistency is such an importantthing. You know. People will see

(39:15):
all these different workouts and all thisother stuff and they're just like, well,
I want to try that, andit's like okay, but but stay
here. Let's stay here where you'restarting, and we can work up to
that. You know, if insix months you feel really really good and
you think you can do that,you can try it, you know,
and don't be mad if you can't, Like, that's okay. There are
people that have been training for decadesand that's why they're able to do the

(39:36):
things they're able to do. Doesn'tmean that you're less of a person,
just means you're not able to dothat yet, like you know, And
it's it's all about consistency. Andwhen it comes to the nutrition side of
it. I cannot stress this enough. I don't care what diet you pick.
You got to be consistent, rightbecause if you change things too much,
your body is not going to beable to keep up. Whether it's

(39:57):
intermittent fasting or keto or whatever youwant to do that's going to work.
For you, as long as youwere consistent with it, that's all that
really matters at that point. Yeah, you asked me that a while back
about that is is it sustainable exactly? And I think that that's so important
too in anything that you do,whether it's exercising or food or anything,
is it sustainable. I was actuallyjust actually just did one of my Instagram

(40:21):
lives about this, was it yesterdayor the day before, about living in
harmony in that if you're doing things, if you're creating habits that are not
sustainable right, or that are takingaway from another aspect of your life,
then you're not going to be ableto continue in that habit because the other
parts of your life aren't going tosupport it. So like for me,

(40:42):
the conversation came up in that inthat space was about sales. Was I
was training somebody on sales and thisperson was gung ho and I was training
her and she was like, I'mgoing to go to every networking event,
I'm gonna cold call, I'm gonnaprospect, I'm not going to do my
laundry. I'm not going to dothat. I'm not gonna do that,
and I'm not going to go foodshop being my husband's going to do all
of that stuff. He's going todo it all. We already talked about
it and I was like, whoathat bar Hold on, Holy High,

(41:06):
hold on second here, Let's justrealize something. After about three months of
your husband doing his job, doingthe laundry, doing the cooking, doing
the kids, doing the drop off, doing everything, and you're completely obsessed
with this job, how long untilyour family stops supporting you in your sales
goals? And you know that hasto do with sales, But it's the

(41:28):
same thing with food and nutrition,right, It's like, how long does
does do you stop supporting yourself andgoing you know what, I'm just I
just can't eat another keto bar.I want some food in my life,
like you know. So there hasto be a good balance, and I
think harmony is great, like forme with intermnute fasting, and we could
talk about me because I don't Iwouldn't want to talk about anybody else because

(41:50):
everybody's different and health and all theother things. But for me, I
did find a balance in intermitute fastingthat works for me and that I enjoy
and it does have goes from twentyhour fasts where I pretty much do on
a regular on a daily basis.I do twenty hour fast until I eat
for four hours and then obviously,but I do enjoy good foods in there.

(42:13):
I don't really eat unhealthy. Idon't go off the rails, Like
I have shakes of kale and spinachand you know, keeper and flax seed
and all sorts of like fun funnutritionals. I'm sure you enjoy that.
And then I have Oreo cookies,see, and then I have Oreo cookies.
So there's like a balance there thatI do enjoy. And then on

(42:36):
the weekends I kind of like letmyself just be free to kind of give
my body a reset of just enjoyinga bacon, egg and cheese, right,
like just enjoying something fun to sothat I could also be like,
you know, I could appreciate whatI'm doing throughout the week. And then
I always end it on a Sundaywith an ice cream Sunday. And when
I make my ice cream Sunday,the bowl of ice cream is literally the

(42:58):
tub, Like I think, Itake two scoops out for my daughters.
I love that, right, theyprobably get a scooper each from from that
tub, but the rest of thetub is mine. And I put on
sprinkles and Reesa's pieces, some noisein there, and chocolate and chocolate chips,
and it just keeps going with cherries, and if there's cookies in the
house, they get thrown in,like homemade cookies or brownies or jelly and

(43:22):
peanut butter. Like I swear thatall goes into my son. I don't
doubt it. I don't doubt itfor a second. And that is probably
the best thing you'll eat all week. Like, you know, the funny
thing with food, And this iswhat I tell everybody. I don't care
if I work with a client orwith anybody, do not ruin your relationship
with food, because that right there, that was one of the lines I've

(43:44):
heard and I've stuck with it becauseman, people do so many things with
food. Right It's like we wentfrom well, I can't have bread or
carbs or any of these things,and it's like, okay, listen,
if that's what you want to do, do what you gotta do. But
understand, bread is delicious, Pizzais delicious. Like there is a lot
of things in this world that maynot be the best for you, and

(44:07):
I put that in quotations because wecould debate that. But does it taste
good? Do you enjoy it?Like when you're done eating that, or
you're like, oh that was sogood, Like there needs to whirling on
this planet for so long? Likeare you gonna just great? You have
a sex pack, you're shredded,you look great, you could do all
these things? Are you like,do you enjoy food? Like do you

(44:30):
enjoy your meals? Or are youjust like, yeah, I'm big,
I'm strong and that's it. Okay, Like cool, listen again, if
that works for you as a person, that's perfectly fine. I'm just a
big advocate for, like you said, harmony, finding the things that work
in your life for you, numberone, to reach your goals, but
number two, so you're not miserable. Like if interminute fasting works, I

(44:54):
may not be a big advocate forit, but it's because a lot of
people take it too far and thenwhen they don't hit their goals, they
go into the depression state. They'relike, I did this so long and
I deprived myself of so much andI'm not there yet. And it's like
because you found something everyone else saidworked, but it didn't work for you,
you know, and listen. Ifit works for you, that's fantastic.

(45:15):
Like that's my big thing. Ifit works for you and you can
sustain it, I'm good. I'mhappy. That's all I want for people
is to find the things that actuallywork and you can actually sustain. And
I love the quote that you saidthere of don't ruin your relationship with food,
because that's so true, and Imean and everything that we do like
and again I can only speak formyself here in terms of the diet,

(45:37):
is that like, yeah, I'llenjoy a slice of pizza. Yeah,
I mean I won't have four sizesof pizza, which I once did.
And I think, you know,the quantity control is so important, and
you and I talked about this,so I definitely off off Mic, So
I would love to continue this conversationback on Mike here about like where it's
like, well I can't have pizzaand it's like, well, it's because
you used to eat the whole pie. Yeah, exactly. What if you

(45:59):
had a salad before to kind oflike fill your belly and get your belly
ready, and maybe a yogurt evento get a little bit more in there.
A little bit more nutrition, alittle health, a little bit probiotic.
There's a good there's a good mixture. There's so many good things in
there of magnesium and all and proteinsand everything that are happening. And then
cap it off with a slice ofpizza maybe either too. If it's a

(46:20):
cheat day, it's not going tokill you. But you know, so
I always have that balance in myeating, Like I don't really eat carbs,
but I eat carbs, like liketonight is Friday night. My wife
and I we do a movie nighttogether and we have chee its when we
watch our movies, and I'm gonnahave cheese its tonight. Listen. I

(46:40):
have my bag back there of foodthough because I haven't eaten yet, though
I am hungry, Like I justI find that people take it too far,
you know where it goes from.Okay, I want to lose weight
and I want to do all thesethings. And now you've eliminated all these
things that you thoroughly enjoy. Icecream is amazing, man, Like it
can't just be well, I'm justnot having it anymore, right, you

(47:04):
know, Like you need enjoy foodand if you're having it every day,
then the question is how much enjoymentare you getting out of it exactly exactly
when you're having it once a week. And it's funny because actually, I
literally just had this conversation with mydaughter this morning because she said, you
wanted ice cream today, and Iwas just like, well, we have
it on Sundays. I mean,she probably she might end up having it
today because they're doing something special kids. It's different, and it is different,
but I was like, well,we have it on Sundays, but

(47:25):
that is like what I look forwardto all week. It's what it's also
by having those rewards that we're kindof like talking about here, it's like,
by having those that's what kind ofgets you over the hard time of
the diet, of the workout,of being able to be like, you
know what, tonight, I'm noteating the cookies, I'm not eating the
oreos, which I'll have nights whereI don't eat the oreos. Right last

(47:46):
night I had two oreos and Iwas very happy. I was going to
say it, I bet you're happyabout it. And they're the mega stuffs,
so they're amazing. The mega stufforeos are amazing. They are terrible
for your content. They are terriblefor all the other stuff, and that's
fine, but they are amazing,but you gotta skip them every day.

(48:07):
You got everyone now, and thenI mean, yeah, you can't have
that. And that's the whole thing. Moderation is so important, you know.
And I've been asked this so manytimes, but different clients like,
well, what, well, Ican't have this, you know. And
I had a client tell me shecan't eat bagels, like why, this
is why? And she's like,well, they're bad for you, And
I'm like, why tell me why? You know, Like, if you

(48:27):
have an explanation for me, Iwill respect that one hundred percent. But
if you just look at me andyou tell me this isn't good for me,
I need to know why you thinkthat. You know, because no
food is one hundred percent good foryou, and no food is one hundredercent
bad. There are goods and bads. There are some that are better for
you, that are some that areworse for you. But there's just no
food on this planet that's just likeit's just bad, one hundred percent bad.
It's not. It may not be. If may not help you lose

(48:50):
weight, it may not do necessarilyanything for you, nutritious wise, but
does it taste good? Do youenjoy it? Like? Okay, so
you don't have to have it,like you said, every day multiple times,
have a little bit of it,but now you're enjoying it that much
more because it's not indulgence. It'sjust like, man, I really just
wanted this cupcake, or maybe you'rea cookie person or a cake person whatever,

(49:12):
enjoy that like it's not gonna killyou. And when you think of
it from a cost perspective too,of like, if you're having a bacon,
egg and cheese every morning on abagel, what is that? I
don't know, six bucks, Idon't know. Right, let's say six
dollars, six dollars a day,every day, plus the weight that you're
putting on from it all. Now, let's take a step back here and
say, you know what, I'monly going to have a bacon, egg
and cheese bagel once a week,right, And instead of going to Dunkin

(49:36):
Donuts for my bacon, egg andcheese, which is awful, right,
for six dollars, I'm actually gonnaspend twelve dollars on really fancy mass on
from like some bread company out inRinebeck or New Paults or you know one
of those like granola bread companies.It's got the work. They make the
bread there themselves. The bagels arefresh, the eggs are from some farm

(49:59):
right there. The bacon's right off. They just they just it's the juicy,
it's crispy, you know what Imean. And you spend the twelve
dollars, You're gonna get more nutrientsout of that meal than you ever did
before because all of it is fresh, all of it is real ingredients.
You're gonna be more satisfied because youwaited, and go back to your relationship

(50:19):
with food. Like the dopamine rushthat you're gonna get from that bacon,
egg and cheese that you and Iare about to go out for the doping.
You're gonna get a huge dopamine rush. And then let's go back to
working out now, and then you'regonna go back on Monday to your workout
with Aaron, right, and it'slike, you know what what am I
working out for? I'm working outfor that bacon, egg and cheese on

(50:42):
the weekend, right, And that'show you look at it, like I
that is how you know when Ido my nutrition for the week Monday through
Friday is relatively strict. Weekends,it's fair game. Anything and everything that's
in my sights. I'm eating it. I don't care, you know.
The only thing I track on theweekends is like, all right, I
make sure to get my protein in, you know, just just so I
know there's some protein coming into mybody outside of that. And I'm sure

(51:04):
there is some nutrition professional that's probablyhearing that and going, oh, how
dare you like you're ruining your body? Listen, this is how I do
it, you know. And I'mhappy with that, and I'm satisfied with
that. It doesn't mess with mygoals, it doesn't mess with anything physically,
and it makes me a much happierperson because come Monday, I have
enjoyed my food. I have donewhatever I wanted throughout the weekend, and
Monday it's back to work. It'sback to work. I do my workout,

(51:28):
I eat my whatever I'm supposed toeat that day, and we're good.
And I wait and I get soexcited because I see, you know,
the pack of cookies on the counter, and I'm like, all,
you can't touch that till Saturday,okay, respect that. Tell them I
have this conversation in my head whereI'm like, listen, dude, you
know you want to eat that rightnow? You gonna wait. You gonna
wait till Saturday and you might eatyou know, have to container and that's
okay. And you know, Ithink that that goes back to with what

(51:52):
you're just talking about now in termsof happiness, when we're talking about the
mental state and the depression and allthese other things that everybody's dealing with right
in different ways and in different level. It's about being happy. It's about
finding happiness. Fitness isn't just likeyou said about the six pack abs,
which I do work on. Itis difficult people. It's about happiness.

(52:13):
It's about are you happy with whatyou're doing. The other thing that I
think is important that you brought up, which was comparison where people are comparing
themselves their workouts to others, comparingtheir figure to others. I mean,
I looked at your arms when youcame in. I was just like,
all right, I got it's moreto that. But you know, it
happens, right, So I'm interestedin how do you speak to your clients

(52:35):
about that comparison that happens. Imean, especially working out in a gym
where there are all of these differentlevels of people, like you feel like
you're the biggest guy there. Thenoops, somebody walks in exactly end listen
man. In a gym setting,it can be one of two things.
Sometimes it could be the most intimidatingplace you ever walk into. You could
look around and everybody is gigantic,lifting twice as much weight, is you

(52:58):
running twice as fast as you whatever, and you're like, oh my goodness,
why am I here? The numberone thing I tell every single person
stop looking around. Stop looking around, focus on, have blinders on,
focus on what you're doing, becauseI guarantee you the person next to you
number one doesn't have the same genetics, doesn't have the same amount of time.
They may have been doing this alot longer than you. You're coming

(53:21):
into this fresh with all of thesethings in your head, like I want
to look like that guy? Allright, cool, set that goal.
Understand it may take you a decadeto get there. That's just being realistic.
Physically, we cannot just jump intothe water and expect to just oh,
that's it, I'm done. Transformation, That's what the Internet wants you
to believe. You know, it'sthat simple, but there's a lot involved
in there, and it's trying tomold people in a sense where it's like,

(53:45):
listen, I get that you're lookingto your right, to your left,
up down, whatever. You can't. You just can't because there's too
many things in play that are goingto change that. Age plays apart,
genetics play apart, gender plays apart like all of these things. Lifestyle.
That guy next to you might liveat the gym, like, okay,

(54:07):
maybe you guys have put in thesame amount of time, but he's
there every single day for five hoursa day. You're coming in for a
half hour a day, like,and his nutrition is way different. Yeah,
Like he's probably eating everything under thesun, and he's gigantic and he
can lift a car. Good forhim, And it doesn't necessarily mean he's
healthy exactly. And that's the otherthing, right, That's that's a big
part of it. It's like,you could be huge, but your body

(54:29):
may not be in the best shapethat it needs to be in. And
it's not to say that it's notwe're just talking about were in generalization exact
piring. You know, you can'tyou just can't go into it and I
can't, especially with weights. Withguys, we have this for some reason,
with men, we have this pridething where it's like you're lifting weights
in the guy next he's lifting more. You're like, well, okay,
I'm gonna put on an extra plate. I don't want him to be looking

(54:51):
at me and going I'm weak.You know what. This is why I
was saying care, this is thisis why I like working out from home.
But this is what I'm saying,Like he doesn't care that. Dude
is so focused on his own workoutand his own thing. He might be
looking at you, going good foryou, man, you're here, you're
doing it. Like I have metso many varieties of people might you know
working out myself where people are youthink they're like mean because they're big and

(55:15):
whatever, and they're sitting there andthere. They'll come over and they'll patch
in the back. Dude, youkilled that set Like that to me is
such an alter like altering your mind. It's like, oh wow, thanks,
like I appreciate the you know thatyou came over and said that to
me. I you know, andthere is starting ports for everybody, and
everyone's life is different, like andnutrition, like all of these things are

(55:37):
are all these different factors is abig old melting pot and you could throw
them all in there, but ifthe ingredients are different, you're not gonna
get the same result. So comparisonis so important to kind of just throw
out the window. Stop comparing yourself, you know. And I tell people
this and you know on my podcastand in person, and I just like

(55:58):
go into it with I am me. I am going to set my goals
and I'm going to reach my goalsat my speed. And that's it.
Be selfish in that aspect, likethis is about me and only about me.
I don't care about Joe Shmo nextto me. I don't care how
good she looks next to me,Like it doesn't matter, Like focus on
you. Take that, you know, whether you're working by yourself or with
a trainer. And to your point, if that gym setting is uncomfortable,

(56:21):
work out from home, man,like there is nothing wrong with that.
People are such advocates for well,I have to go to the gym.
Why why you like working out athome? Workout at home? YouTube is
fantastic, Like and it's free mostof the time. Like, take a
YouTube video and do that video everyday. And I don't care who's on
the screen, look at yourself andsay, Okay, I completed that workout.

(56:44):
That's it. Yeah. For me, I used to go to the
gym, the one that you goto, and I enjoyed going to the
gym. But when COVID happened,obviously that closed. Yeah, And so
I had to start learning how towork out from home because I was just
like, all right, well,and we couldn't go anywhere, so there
was no con tact. So Istarted learning to work out from home and
at the time, and this speaksto your whole getting hurt and everything prior

(57:06):
to that. So I have amissing shoulder essentially because of a skiing accident,
so there's no muscle in my rightshoulder. And so prior to that,
I'd go to the gym and I'dhave this whole comparison issue of like,
I gotta lift these heavy weights,I gotta do this. I got
to do the shoulder presses, themilitary presses, and all this other stuff.
And at least once a year,I would get a really bad pinch

(57:29):
nerve in my back right shoulder rightto where I couldn't move my neck,
my head, nothing for days.Weeks sometimes right and anyway, so COVID
happens. I work out from homeand I start having to do calasthetics because
I don't have any weights. SoI start doing push ups and at the
time, I remember, this isso crazy to think back on because of
what I could accomplish now, Butat the time, doing ten push ups

(57:51):
was just like that was a day'sworkout for me and for some people,
which was odd because I can goto Mike Artegas, I could go to
the gym and put up a benchpress of like you know, one eighty
or whatever. But for some reason, a push up was hard for me.
And it had to do with becauseI'm using all of my body weight.
I'm using muscles in my back andin my shoulder that I don't normally

(58:12):
use in a bench press. I'musing all of these different parts of my
body and at the time, soI can only do ten push ups.
And then I was just like,you know, I started getting into this
groove of doing them regularly, andI was like, all right, let
me get twenty in a day,thirty in a day, and now I
could do thirty in a clip,and I'm like, whoa, this is
amazing, right, And I'm talkingall the way down chest to the ground,
back up and everything. So whatI'm getting at is that those home

(58:35):
workouts you can actually get yourself tobe stronger to some extent, because I
feel that from exercising through doing pushups. So now I do one hundred
and change push ups a day,Like that's like my thing. I got
to do one hundred push ups aday. That's like my goal every day
except for my days that I haveoff, but pretty much five to six
days a week, I'm doing onehundred push ups a day plus plus everything
else that I'm doing in terms ofexercise. And I look back, I'm

(58:59):
like, I'm stronger now without evendoing a bench press, Like I haven't
touched a bar. Right, I'mstronger now than ever before. And it
has to do with working out fromhome, doing the calisthetics, doing the
abs, doing you know, crunches, doing the push ups, doing now
I got a pull up bar,doing the pull ups, and even that,
like I remember, I couldn't doone pull up. Most people can't.

(59:21):
Like, pull ups are not aneasy thing. I don't care what
any fitness person tells you. Pullups are not easy at all. Those
are hard. You're lifting all ofyour body weight over this bar, and
if you're doing it full extension,that's a lot. Okay, full extension
is hard. My daughter started doingit. So this is the cool part
about working out at home. SoI you know, you're a personal trainer

(59:44):
and you work at a gym,but I think that essentially for you,
as you get your business off theground, working helping helping wealthy people work
out from their mansions would be anice goal, wouldn't you know all those
mansions? So yes, absolutely,So all of you, all of you
wealthy people listening who have I ahome, a home gym, Aaron's gonna
be able to help you with whatI'm talking about. And I think these

(01:00:04):
are the benefits of working out athome. You could definitely speak to the
benefits of working out a gym,but I think the benefits both because remember,
for me, I started at home. I lost ninety percent of my
weight at home. I am oneof my specialties that I even now use
in the gym is calisthetics and hitworkouts and stuff all body weight. So
I want to go there with youthen, because let's talk about that in

(01:00:25):
your experience there. But I justwant to say this one little piece about
one of the benefits is like mydaughters see me working out, and they
are they are six and eight yearsold, and they now every night they
beg for they beg for this freakingweirdos they beg for this, Daddy,
can we do pull ups tonight?Daddy? Can we do pull up tonight?
And so I set up the chairsso that they could reach the bar,

(01:00:46):
and they'll just stand there until they'retired, Like they don't count.
They just stand there. They doone pull up, two pull up,
three pull up, and they justkeep going until they're like, Okay,
I can't do anymore. And thenthey go and then they try to make
their muscles so funny. Oh,so they love to do it. So
I think it's like such a greatbenefit that the kids are seeing us exercise.

(01:01:07):
Absolutely, and for me that mykids in the same way, I
have my pull up bar. Istill do certain push ups and stuff at
home, and my kids are alwayslike, can we do them with you?
My oldest is seven, and she'sall about it. Oh any chance
she gets. She can't do apull up yet she's small, but doesn't
stop her from trying. She's gonnahang on the bar, she's gonna try
and you know, I'll give hera little boost whatever. Yeah, and

(01:01:29):
they're they're all about it. Andthat aspect of it is huge because for
the parents out there, you're notonly helping yourself, but you're setting the
tone for your kids. You're lettingthem see an aspect of you where it's
like I am working hard and I'mtrying to hit these goals. But you
can do this too as you getolder, you know, And it's it's
a great example to set for themthat if you really want something, you

(01:01:50):
gotta work for it. You know. It's it's not as simple as just
getting up and you know, instantgratification. You're not gonna have what you
want. You got to put thework in. Yep. And I you
know, you started the podcast withtalk about like losing the weight so you
could play with your kids, andyeah, you know, I feel the
same way like when I so,I have two fitness goals. One is
I play basketball and I want tobe the fastest, strongest, most athletic

(01:02:12):
forty one year old out there,which is and you know, because whether
I have the skill or don't havethe skill, of basketball, which you
know I've learned over time. Iknow that I can control this one piece.
I can control how fast, howstrong I am on the court,
and how much endurance I'm going tohave to be able to last and get
down on a fast break and getback on defense right and be the first

(01:02:34):
one back on defense. That's reallyimportant. So that's one and then the
other is to be able to doanything with my kids. If they say,
can I get on your back?Can I get on your shoulders?
I don't. I don't want toever have to say to my kids,
you can't get on my shoulders.I can't carry you exactly. And I
don't know when that time will come. I mean, eventually it'll be,
it'll be a day. But aslong as it's within my control. That's

(01:02:59):
one of my fitness goals is thatI can always run with my kids and
I can always carry them whenever Ineed to. Right. So I'm interested
in you. And you know whenyou were cutting the weight and you said
like ninety percent of what you didwas from home, what was in terms
of those motivations because you did mentionthat was one of them. What were
some of the workouts and some ofthe things that you did to lose that
weight from home. So I startedthe same way you did push ups were

(01:03:20):
you know, you always hear howgreat pushups are for you. They're amazing,
but let's be real, if you'venever done them before and you never
really dipped into that pool, pushups are hard. They're hard. You're
using all of your weight and ifyour arms aren't built lift for it,
lifting however much you weight, especiallyif you're heavier. Okay, cool,
Now you're gonna lift yourself off theground. Like people say it, and
they're like, I could do twohundred push ups. Great, It's hard,

(01:03:42):
Okay, I don't care who you'retalking to. It hard. And
there's a million different variations because youcan do close handed, you know,
wide grip. I mean, thereare so many different things so you can
hit different parts of your body.So for me, I started simple.
I just started doing push ups andI did as many as I could until
I just dropped to the ground.And then I progressed, you know.
So it went from maybe I onlydid twenty in a clip to twenty five,

(01:04:04):
and then as it grew and grewand grew, I changed my variations.
So I started doing different types ofpushups. So I'd hit more muscle
groups and grow that. And asyou do that, you start to see
number One, you're getting stronger.Number One you're you know, you're leaning
out a little bit because you're you'rebuilding this muscle, but your body is
changing. So now you start toyou venture. So for me, it

(01:04:27):
was what can I do at home? You know outside of pushups? Well,
okay, you can do dips withchairs. I used to set up
two dining room chairs and do asmany dips as I could from my triceps
and my shoulders and stuff like that. It's no equipment, no nothing,
two chairs, and again not everyonecan do that. You work up to
it. Legs. I used tojust do air squats, just sit there

(01:04:48):
and do air squads, and asI got a little stronger, I would
pick up one of my kids andI would literally do squats with them.
And you know, you find thingsin the house to just make your weight,
you know, like how heavy isa detergent bottle? Right? Like,
Oh, people that don't realize,like you get the big one from
like BJ's or SAMs, that's aheavy bottle. That's a weight right there.

(01:05:09):
Take those, dude, some curls. Like for me, it was
using my body weight and anything andeverything I could find in my house that
was right there and using it tomy advantage, you know. And as
I got stronger, my kids werelike, cool, Dad, I'm gonna
hop on your back and you weregonna do push ups. And the idea
of that first was like, uhno, I weigh enough. I don't

(01:05:29):
need you on my back with me. And it was scary, but after
a while you get stronger and stronger. Two years down the line, I
have both of them on my backand I just bang it out. I'm
not gloating, it's just this isa This is a comparison from going and
I couldn't do fifteen in one shotto now being able to hold two little
kids on my back and just bangout, you know, twenty thirty push
ups. Wow, it's it's whatyou're able to do if you stay consistent

(01:05:53):
and you progressed. This is theseare the things you're able to do.
And calisthetics. I mean, ifyou were to google some of the best
cow setic users in the world,I mean, these dudes, they may
not be the biggest, but theyare the strongest. They're able to like
literally just pull one hand underneath themand they just throw themselves in the air
like it's nothing. I think tothe point of the strength, strength is

(01:06:14):
because what happens what I've learned withthe gym for me versus home is like
Jim for me, was I triedto lift heavy, I was like,
I'm just gonna lift heavy, SoI would do eight to ten reps,
right, maybe three sets of eightto ten reps of like some super heavyweight,
and I honestly wasn't even doing itin the let's say the right form

(01:06:34):
where I wasn't pulling it in,retracting and all of that really well,
I'd have a spot or something andI wasn't coming all the way down with
the bar, so I wasn't evengetting the full rep out of those to
where working out from home and doingpush ups went like you said, when
you start getting into the groove andactually building the muscle, you actually start

(01:06:56):
needing to do more. So likedoing one hundred push ups is probably equivalent
to doing I don't know, tenreps of like two fifteen or something like
that. Like if you were toreally break down the science, but I'm
doing two hundred push ups which isnot necessarily building huge muscles, but building
strength. Yeah, and so youjust become stronger and like what you were
just maybe thinking about with the detergentbottle. It's funny because like I'll have
my daughter's lift something up and liketry that out and they're like, that's

(01:07:18):
not heavy. I'm like, allright, do it ten times. Yeah,
do it twenty takes exactly. Okay, if it's still not heavy,
do it thirty times. If that'sall you have, Like, if you
have something else that's heavier, thangrab the heavier object after twenty times,
right, But if that's all youhave, then do thirty reps with it.
I'll do fifty reps of something,not because like ooh, I could
do fifty reps, but because it'slight and I need to get the muscle

(01:07:40):
you're doing something at that point,like, and the reality is, you
know, you you find the goalthat you want to hit and you work
with that. You know, forif you're just trying to get in shape,
all of these things are great,you know, And again go back
to the walking thing, walk,run, jog, whatever, Like there
are so many things you can doat home without without you know, using
videos or any of that or equipment, and it's just like get creative.

(01:08:01):
So speaking of creativity, one thatyou I think you'll appreciate, well,
I know you'll appreciate these three actually. So one this morning, I did
a little workout from home, andI wanted to do arms today. So
I was like, all right,I need to do some arm curls,
but I don't want to do themjust standing where, you know, like
you're kind of so I grabbed mydaughter's little chair, which is probably about
this big, and like, youknow, my knees are in my chest,

(01:08:23):
and I sat down on that andI was just doing my arm curls
because it was like real focus rightright of that. It's like an incline
dumb bell curl at home, right. And then yesterday was beautiful out,
so I was like, all right, I don't want to work out from
inside, so I set out ofyour little yoga mat outside, yep,
and I just did some chest pressesfrom outside. And then a new one
that I started working on is fora leg. So you're talking about air

(01:08:44):
squads, so I've been doing Ido squats with weighted squats. I have
thirty five pound dumb bells that I'mdoing with And I was like, all
right, but really what I careabout is the explosiveness for rebounding for basketball.
Right. So I started doing theselike jumps in my living room and
I was like, all right,well, this isn't really good for my
knees. But we had this littlepool outside. We have this little ten
by ten pool outside for the kids, and I use it too, I

(01:09:05):
was gonna say, and it's sogreat to just jump into. I don't
care what size pool you have.I mean, all you need is a
little water around you and you're happy. So I was like, what if
I did these jumps in the pool, which will also add dragged by me
jumping out of the water. Right, Oh my goodness, my legs were
on fire. Oh yeah, fromdoing it in the pool for sure.

(01:09:27):
And then with that in mind,like that's what I'm saying, like,
get creative, Like that's awesome tojust think about it, you know,
look around your house, figure outthings that it's like, all right,
well, if this is what youwant to work on, all right,
look at to your left, lookto your right. There's something that can
help you that you're gonna be like, that's actually a really good idea I'm
gonna try and it may not workthe first time, but maybe that's when

(01:09:47):
you explore and try something different.Like there's so many things you can do
from home, Like we don't realizehow heavy objects are and how heavy children
are. Like, just get creative, you know, even if like I
used to do, I still haveit. I have a weighted vest.
That's what I used to do,and that's that's how I progressive. Because
for me, I did push upsand I was like, all right,

(01:10:09):
push ups are getting really easy.Cool, went and bought a thirty pound
weighted vest, did push ups andpull ups with that thirty pound vest on,
Like that was a progression for me. People looked at me like I
was crazy when I told them that, and they're like, that's really hard.
Don't do that. You're gonna hurtyourself. I felt fine. I
did it because it was a progression, something different for me, and I
loved it because I was like cooland I went running with that thing on,

(01:10:31):
and it made me faster, itmade my legs stronger. Like there
are so many different things you cando, and if you want to buy
equipment, you can. You don'thave to though, like I try.
I used to do work for thiscompany called Spettanist, and it was very
short, but I worked with aclient and he didn't have any equipment,
and I just went I went tohis house, and speaking on your you

(01:10:53):
know, Britch, people would managinethis guy was from the city, and
I worked with him in his uh, in his mansion up here and really
big house, really nice guy,you know, but he just didn't have
any equipment. So we got creative. We started doing hit workouts. We
started using his stars and anything inhis house that we could just find that
was just some kind of weight oranything that he could just lift, and

(01:11:15):
we made it work. You know. Like that's what you got to do,
you know, especially for parents andstuff that your schedule's really crazy.
Maybe you don't have time for thegym. Forget the fact that you don't
want to be there from a time. Maybe you just wake up and spend
twenty minutes working out at home.You know. Like it's also great because
like you just said, like youjust wake up and start working out.
Yeah, so I love that.Like I'll have my cup of coffee and
then I just literally walk behind thecouch because that's where my little air quote

(01:11:40):
gym is and I just start workingout, and I'm like, and then
or I can start working because Ialso work from home. It's also nice.
I can start working like I said, like I said this morning,
just bang out some emails and thendo a quick workout right in my living
room. So it's really nice.But I also think that there are and
then I think there's pros and consto everything, but the great pros to
going to the gym too, Sowe talked about comparison before. But I

(01:12:03):
also think that there's this really greatenvironment in the gym that helps. So
like I'll do every once in awhile, I'll do like a day pass
to Mike Artegas, which I reallylove because I love getting the sauna in
and oh doing and actually hitting someweights and testing my strength and abilities out.
I really enjoy that. So I'malso interested in your your thoughts on

(01:12:23):
the gym environment and how it's souplifting for for getting to your fitness goals.
So number one, find you're theright gym environment, because I'm going
to be honest, I've worked outin a lot of different gyms. There
is not always a good gym environment. I cannot you can't generalize it.
There is a lot of gyms inthis area. You could go to one
and absolutely despise that environment, youknow, So my big thing front,

(01:12:45):
Yeah, they're all different. Everygym has a different atmosphere, different people,
different styles of working out. Like, if you're someone who's just trying
to jump in and figure this out, I recommend taking a pass from every
single gym in the area. Unlessthe first one just hits, you know,
and it's just that you love it, then great, stick with that
one. But if you go toone, don't get discouraged because there's no
guarantee that that one is. You'regonna hate all of them. You know.

(01:13:08):
Maybe you went to Golds you don'tlike it, or you went to
Crunch you you do love it,or whatever. You know, find your
gym environment that actually makes you feelcomfortable and stick with that because it's it's
vast. There are so many differenttypes of people. And I've heard stories
of both where it's like someone camefrom one gym and went to this other
gym, and the first gym theywent to they hated it because everybody was

(01:13:30):
grunting and throwing weights and they werelike, oh, it was just this
big weight lifting gym and that's allthey did there, and someone else may
say that that was their perfect environment. Like you can't get stuck on it,
you know. I just tell everybodyfind the environment that you actually feel
like you fit in. You know. For me, I like where I'm
at because there's a lot of peoplearound me that are very encouraging. You

(01:13:51):
know, we're not. I'm sureeverybody's different, but you know, the
couple people that when I'm there,I'm there early in the morning, so
the same few people are always andeveryone's kind of just like, yeah,
man, you know, you liftaway, you know, a new hit,
a new mark, whatever, andeveryone's just happy for you. They're
coming over, you're giving you hands, whatever, and it's that's that's important,
right, you know, because maybethat weight to you is like,

(01:14:12):
oh it wasn't that much. Itwas a max for you. You know,
you hit a new level. Somaybe yeah, everyone around you is
lifting more, but for you,you progressed and they're still happy for you.
Like that is so important. Andthe other aspect of that is that
I always talk about on my podcastis if you don't have a gym environment
that you necessarily like create it.You know, find a gym, walk

(01:14:36):
in. Maybe it's just one ofthose gyms that it's just you know,
not everyone talks to each other,and it's very just everyone does their own
thing and whatever whatever, create it. Walk in and like, go up
somebody if you see they really workedhard, and just be like, dude,
that was awesome, set really greatjob, and just give me a
high five. They're gonna be sothrown off and be like, oh,
thanks, Like, but you're nowcreating it, and then that dude or

(01:14:57):
that person whatever is gonna maybe goover and do the same thing. And
now you're literally creating that gym environmentthat progressive. Everyone's happy for each other,
and it's not gonna be everybody,but you're allowing yourself to create that.
You're allowing other people to be like, oh, maybe I should have
been doing this. You know,I should encourage the young kid that's just
barely out of high school that maynot have any muscle, that's really scrawny,

(01:15:18):
and he's probably feeling all kinds ofself conscious and he's coming in and
you're just like, listen, dude, you know, great job, you
know, Or you could even goin and be like, hey, listen.
If you need any help, ifyou know, if you're feel in
any type of way, come getme. I'll help you out. Like
those little cues of just helping andcreate it. It's so big, man,
Like I know, for me,I've had people walk up to me

(01:15:40):
and correct my form, correct whatI'm doing. Some people get really offended
by that. I love it.Tell me I'm wrong, tell me and
listen as long as it makes sense. Obviously, you know, if you're
telling me I'm doing something and you'rewhat you're telling me is wrong, but
you know within reason, you know, if someone's like, hey, straight,
you know straight, you're back,you know, and they're not rude
about it, and they're just like, listen, man, that was great,
let me give you some help.I'm like cool. I was down.

(01:16:02):
I just came back from vacation andI was working out a gym in
South Carolina and I was benching andthis guy comes up to me, retired
powerlifter, dude's huge, and he'slike, listen, man, can I
give you some tips? And I'mlike absolutely, I'm like please. And
he gives me some tips on benchingand how to improve my bench whatever,
and I was all about it,man, I was. He came over
after that and tried to spot meand help me out, and it was

(01:16:25):
like I had been there for himmaybe five minutes, and this dude watched
me. You know, maybe Iwas just doing something really wrong. Who
knows, Like, I don't care. He was really nice. He wound
up. He's living in South Carolina. He's from Long Island. Like,
so we had the New York connectionthere and I'm sitting there and I'm like,
man, if more people were acceptingof this and understanding that it's not

(01:16:45):
to be rude, it's not.You know, if someone's coming over and
trying to help you, they're justthey're just happy to be there, and
they want you to be happy tobe there, you know. So the
gym environment can be very intimidating,but go into it with that open mindset,
you know, like if it isn'twhat you want, maybe go to
a different gym or create it,you know. Yeah, and there is

(01:17:06):
a community there. I remember thatI used to go at like six o'clock
in the morning, and there wasjust a group that was always there at
six o'clock in the morning. Weall knew each other by name, we
all talked about each other or toeach other, excuse me, and talked
about each other when we weren't there, like, oh, where's Aaron today?
What's he doing right? Why isn'the here? And then would get
on them like when they came in, like where you been it's been what's

(01:17:26):
going on? Like kind of likea little like check in, like hey,
do you need do you need alittle bit of you know. And
it was a really cool group infact, to the point where I just
kind of just remind reminded me ofsomething of how how close these communities get.
There was a gentleman that was showingup to the gym and his shoes
were torn up, like just tornup, holes in them, duct tape
on them, like torn up shoes. I know, I know where he

(01:17:47):
lives, and it's not in agood space either, but he he's he
was a gym rat, you know, like for him, going to the
gym every single day, spending hoursat the gym was very important to him.
So the group got together and actuallyknew his birthday was coming up and
bought him a pair of sneakers.Didn't tell him, didn't tell him,
didn't give it to him, justleft him on his truck. And the

(01:18:09):
only reason why we know he gotthem and received them was because he wore
them. It was just like somebodyleft, He's on my truck. Cool
And he even said he was justlike I guess I needed new sneakers.
Is awesome. I mean, sothese communities that you're talking about can be
so deep, and I mean Iremember birthday cards being signed for each other,
like, oh, Anthony's birthday iscoming up, let's all sign a

(01:18:30):
card for him. And it's justlike, what is it a special birthday?
No, we just this woman wantedto This woman just wanted to get
it, you know, or goingout to breakfast with them afterwards a couple
of times. So you form thiscommunity. And I love what you said
too, of like, if thereisn't one, then create one. And
I think that we can do thatin so many places, even in business,
or especially in business, but inanywhere in our lives. Is that

(01:18:53):
like if where you're showing up,you're not getting what you want to receive,
then present it exactly. Then bethe person that you want to see
on the other end and put yourhand out, extend your hands, shake
them, ask them how they're doing. With no expectation either because it's you
that wants it, so do it. And then if it works with that
person, great, and if itdoesn't, then go on to the next

(01:19:13):
perce. Lose anything, lose anything, you know it, take your shot
and just jump on the ledge.And one or two things are going to
happen. One they may look atyou like you're absolutely insane, okay whatever,
Or too they're gonna be like,oh wow, that was really awesome
and their day may now just bethat much better because you came over and
did that. And I would sayjust take your ear pods out or you
know, have one out or something, because if you're looking to have people

(01:19:35):
speak with you or build a community, then having those in people are not
going to speak with you for sure, And so there's a time and place
for it. Like I do liketo work out with listening to a book
or listen to a podcast. That'skind of how I do it. But
if I have somebody in gate,like if I was going to work out
with you, which we we kindof texted about it this morning, I
wouldn't have my ear pods in,right, And that's and then you know
you that's obviously a precedent, yousay, you know, if you know

(01:19:57):
you're with somebody, you're not goingto put in your headphones in. But
you know, the gym can besometimes two for people that release. Like
some people are fighting demons, man, they are fighting some demons and the
only way they win the fight iswhen they go to the gym. And
that may be putting two headphones inand tuning the world out. And it's
not to be rude. It's notthere being mean, it's just that's there's

(01:20:18):
their way when they come to thegym. I see it all the time.
Dudes come in full hoodie, bothheadphones in and like if you didn't
know them, you'd probably be standingthere looking at them like, oh my
god, that guy, Like what'sgoing on? Like is he okay?
But that's just their way, Likeyou know, they're just they're just in
it. They are deep in it. And when they hit the weights and
they hit the treadmills or whatever,they hit them and then they come out

(01:20:41):
and there you see, like it'sjust the way they that's how they are,
you know, And it's it comesback to that expression, don't judge
a book by its cover, Likeyou don't really know what that person is
going through. Don't sit there andbe afraid. You know, honestly,
those are the people you might evenbe able to go up to it and
be like, what's going on,dude, and just high five and walk
out and they'll be like cool.Like for the level of focus too,

(01:21:03):
because there's a huge level of focusthat some people are trying to get at
and that you don't get when whenyou're really talking through your workout. Talking
through your work I think sometimes isgood, like it's like a good social
interaction of this community building that we'retalking about. But then there's other times
that you're like, you know what, I really want to hit these certain
types of stats exactly, and Ineed to be focused and the only way
I could focus is to tune everybodyout. And the other thing I want

(01:21:25):
to touch on is what you justsaid about this gentleman helping you in the
gym, in that you made thejoke of like, well, maybe they've
been doing it totally wrong. Isand I would argue that that's not true.
I would say that you've been doingthem right to a certain point.
And what's what's really great and thisexemplifies everything that we see in life,
in terms of business, in termsof family life, in terms of fitness

(01:21:45):
and nutrition, is that there's alwaysa little tweak to get better, and
there's always somebody that's available that hasdone it before and who has gone to
another level and they are able tosee that tweakbody that you're working out with
at the gym, or everybody thatyou're at your career with at the job
or the family life, they're allkind of like seeing the same thing over

(01:22:08):
and over and over again, andso therefore they're not seeing the little adjustment
that can lead to great gains,and so stepping out of the box and
going to a whole other state andgoing to a whole other gym. And
then you get this guy who wasa professional lifter, So it's not just
about his size, it's that hewas a professional studied the craft. He
could see that there's tiny little adjustmentsthat if you make, are going to

(01:22:30):
improve your sets and improve your musclebuilding. And then you were open to
take that. And I think,you know, that's wonderful that that happened
there, and I think that that'sreally what happened for you. But that's
everywhere in life, is that weexperience this in business. We experience this
in our family lives of like anelder just saying to us, hey,
listen, you know, I knowshe's crying right now, but just let
her cry a little bit longer.And you're like, what, No,

(01:22:50):
I can't let her. Just trustme. Just give her like another thirty
seconds on the crying train, andI guarantee you everything's going to work out.
Next thing, you know, you'relike, how did that work?
Why did that work? That worked? Experience is a wonderful thing, you
know, knowledge is a wonderful thing, and you know, everyone, I
think we get afraid because of generationswhere it's like, you know, some

(01:23:11):
people are older, so they're they'reold fashioned, they don't know what they're
talking about. They've also seen alot, you know, so sometimes take
into account what they have to say. You don't have to listen to everything,
but it can't hurt to at leasthear them out. You know,
what you want to do after youryou're your own person, do what you
want to do. But just hearpeople out, you know, give them,
give them your ear for that thirtyseconds, you know, and most

(01:23:32):
of the time, especially in gym, nobody's coming up to you midset,
and if they are, that's awhole different problem. But most people are
waiting till you're done, so they'renot interrupting you. You know, they're
coming after they see you put thebar back or the waight back whatever,
and they're like, hey, listen, can I give you some advice?
And that's usually the question. Ihave never and I'm sure it does happen,
but me personally, I've never experiencedsomeone that just comes over really aggressive.

(01:23:56):
It's like you need to do thisor you need to fix that.
They're usually very friendly and it's like, hey, do you mind if I
give you some pointers? And youcould say no, it doesn't make you
a bad person. Maybe you justdon't want to hear their pointers, and
that's fine too. Like there isways to communicate to people in that setting
where it's like, hey, listen, man, I appreciate that you've got
some pointers for me. I'm okayfor it now, I just want to

(01:24:16):
focus on my workout. Say itin a polite way, don't be a
jerk, you know, And andthere'll probably be a little taken back,
but them like, okay, doyou you know? And that's fine too,
you know, so I think it'sjust important just be a you know,
allow your mind to be open becausethere are people that have been doing
things for longer than you and maybeyou don't like their advice, maybe you

(01:24:38):
do. It doesn't matter, butit can't hurt to at least listen.
It's how we learn, It's howwe grow is by listening and by listening
to your point of like some ofthe things you don't want. But learning
and growing has to do with youmaking a decision as to what you want
to learn exactly that that's you're makingthat decision. And if you're only taking
in what you want to hear,then chances are you're not growing because you're

(01:25:00):
only taking in what you want,you're stunting. And I was just actually
having this conversation with somebody yesterday aboutgrowing, because he was just talking about
the challenge of growing. He's justlike, Oh, it just always feels
like I got to add something newto my plate, I got to try
something else. And this guy wantsto trust me. He's in the self
development world, and we were justtalking about this. He's like, it's

(01:25:23):
always, you know, something new, and I was like, well,
you know, that's the thing withgrowing, right is like, if we're
growing, no matter what age weare, no matter where we are,
we're always going to be adding somethingnew. When we're not adding something new
and changing a habit and doing somethingdifferent, then we're no longer growing.
We've stopped. We've stopped the growth, which is as Tony Robbins would say,
when if you're not growing, you'redying. So there you are.

(01:25:45):
So speaking of mantras here, yoursis don't let fear of failing stop you
from chasing your dreams. I tryto live by that because that quote goes
into everything. I mean, ifyou constantly look at things, whether it's
fitness, career, relationship, Idon't care what you're part of life we're

(01:26:08):
talking about. If you constantly focuson what if this doesn't happen, What
if this doesn't work? What ifI don't do this? What great?
You completely derailed yourself. You're nevergoing to succeed because you completely stunted your
growth right there, So you know, for me, it's failure is part
of life. It's how we grow. You know, we have to fall

(01:26:30):
in order to get up. Likethat's just you keep there's just no other
way to do it. You know. So it's the concept of understanding that
failure as a part of it,but what you do after you fail,
you can't let it defeat you.And for me having the goals that I
want to you know, create inmy future and stuff like that, it's,
yeah, there's a lot of optionsfor failure, Like there could a

(01:26:50):
lot of bad things could happen,but a lot of good can happen too.
And it's about changing the track thatyou're on mentally, where it's like,
Okay, this one's going to theright, this one's going to the
left, but the left one isleading to sunny skies, the right ones
leading to dark, cloudy skies witha lot of thunder and lightning, you
know, Like which one would yourather be on? You know? And

(01:27:12):
it's that concept of changing how youthink. And that quote has always spoke
to me. You know. Don'twe tell our kids dream big? You
know, dream big? Do wetell our children life sucks and the world's
going to eat you alive and you'regonna be miserable for the rest of your
life. I mean, maybe somepeople tell kids back say, I'm sure
there are. Sadly there are,And that's why it's so important to realize

(01:27:38):
what you're saying. Yeah, Imean it's it's these little kids as they
whether you know they're two, five, ten, fifteen, whatever, they're
looking to you to say what amI to expect? And sure you can
give them the reality, but whyright away, you know, give it
to them small doses and create thedream first. You know, what's this.

(01:28:00):
I always forget what Disney's a dreamis a wish. I always forget
what the full quote is. Butyou know, as silly as it is,
a dream is a wish your heartmakes. I think that is what
it is. Something like that.I can't remember it was. I don't
know. Yeah, but my pointis like we we remember all these things
as kids, and because we're sowrapped up in adult life, we forget
all of the dreams we set askids. And it's like, don't take

(01:28:25):
that from them. You know,dream big and Okay, so we're grown.
I guarantee you there's still something youwant to do, you know,
whether it's in your career, whetherit's fitness, whatever, Dream big,
because if you don't, it's gonnabe miserable you. And and there's like
there's a couple of ways to kindof like that. You could look at
it from a coaching perspective, It'sit's and then what When you're thinking about

(01:28:46):
failing, it's like and then whatand then what? And then you go
down that path and eventually like aslong as your life's not being threatened,
if and then what just leads toand then I don't know, well,
then you're good, keep coming right, keep going. I just saw this
clip. White was talking the CEOof UFC. Yeah, was just talking
about this and that in terms offailure, and they were asking him about

(01:29:09):
it, and he was just talkingabout like, look, you know,
it was scary to start UFC.There was a lot of failures. In
fact, from what I remember froman interview prior to this seeing this clip,
because he didn't talk about this inthis clip, I remember him saying
that UFC was something like fifty milliondollars in debt and they were still fighting
to keep it alive. And Imean, now it's like a billion dollar

(01:29:30):
company. I don't know, Idon't know the numbers on it, right,
but you know, so what he'stalking about was that in that state,
he's just like, you know,I'm doing this, I'm starting this
company out I'm working hard. I'mworking. He's like I could be I
think he said he was a bellboy. He's like, I can go
back to being a bell boy anytime, anytime. That job is waiting for
me, you know. So,like when you think about like dreaming big,

(01:29:51):
and I love that you bring thisup, this fear of failure,
is that like dreaming big and notbeing afraid of failure. Just realized that,
like, look, whatever job you'releaving right now to dream big or
to do big things with, it'llalways be there. It'll always be there.
I mean, like when I thinkabout even the Midden ten and our
insurance agency is like going through allthe different things. It's like, look,

(01:30:13):
I could always get a nine tofive. I don't want a nine
to five. I don't want togo back to that, but I could
always do that, right, Sothat's always there? So what else is
there? Okay, well then let'sjust keep going, let's keep fighting,
let's keep going big. The bestquote I ever heard, and I have
looked it up because so many peoplehave said it that I forget who originally
said it, but it is soperfect. Here, you miss one hundred

(01:30:34):
percent of the shots. You don'ttake. Yeah, we don't know who
says that. I know that MichaelJordan. I think Wayne Gretzky. Wayne
Gretzky is the one who's got thename on it. I was gonna say,
I think he's the one that likehas like the stable, But I
don't know if he was the firstone that said it. Yeah, I
mean probably a coach said it tohim too. Yeah exactly. But I
feel like that quote holds so muchweight because it's like, Okay, well,

(01:30:59):
if I don't take the shot evergonna make it, You're never gonna
miss, Like just take the leap. It is scary, you could definitely
fail, but you're never gonna knowif you don't try. Right. You
know, sports is so great forbusiness because you have coaches in there that
that are telling players these kinds ofthings. Right. And a coach said

(01:31:21):
to me, you know, speakingto that quote was like he said to
me, I'm more upset at theathlete, and we're talking about basketball here.
I'm more upset at the player,the athlete who has an open shot
and doesn't take it, yep,than I am at the one who takes
a shot in traffic. Yeah,you know, like he's mad at the

(01:31:42):
one who took the shot in traffic, like that was a bad shot.
You should not have taken that shot, right, But I'm even more upset
with the guy who's wide open andpassed it off because he's scared you didn't
take the shot. And so whenyou think about that logic in business and
in life, it's about having anopportunity and seizing that moment and taking that

(01:32:04):
that shot. Because what's that openplayer thinking when they pass up that shot.
They're thinking I could miss. They'rethinking if I miss, I'll get
pulled from the game. If Imiss, it's going to affect my stats.
If I miss, I'm going toruin the game. Whatever it is.
They're thinking all these negative thoughts,and goes back to the beginning of
this podcast with you, is thatall of those negative thoughts are preventing them

(01:32:26):
from reaching their maximum potential and infact are making them coach not even want
to play them anymore because they're nottaking open shots. And so we go
back to when you're talking about youhad this negative affirmations and now you speak
positive affirmations. I try, man, you know I'm not going to sit
here and act like it's an easything to do, because it's not.
We all have our days, thingsget tough, things get very congested,

(01:32:49):
and some days you really just that'swhat you're feeling. It's very negative.
Things suck and that's going to happen. But it's what you do after that
that's important. You know, howdo you over come that? Because everyone
has blocks, everyone has their obstaclesthat they have to just jump over,
And it's about building the mentality ofwhen I have a bad day, how

(01:33:10):
can I have a good day?You know? So you mentioned and we'll
cap with this and that you mentionedthat you start your day now with some
positive affirmations. What is or whatare some of the ones that you start
your day with? Now, it'sonly one. Today is going to be
a good day, Just that one, because I look at it as no
matter what is going to happen today, today is going to be a good
day. Do you play ice Cubeto that? I should? That would

(01:33:34):
make life so much easier just everyday I play ice Cube? But it
is one of those things, man, that one line. It does so
much for me in a day becauseI try to go through my day and
you know, not every day isa good day, Okay, that's fine.
Tomorrow is going to be a goodday. The day after is going
to be a good day. Likeit's about changing how everything kind of progress.

(01:33:58):
That's awesome, and I think justbeing grateful for everything that we have,
like you said, with your familyand your kids, and I mean
they're beautiful kids that you're raising andnow you're coaching coaching basketball. Yeah,
well playing myself. So it's it'salways fun taking on the reins for the
kindergarten group. We're not discussing this, it's too early, you know,

(01:34:19):
just out of like a little hobbyside here of basketball. So how did
you enjoy your first year of coaching? That was great? You know,
it was definitely a learning curve.You know, I had the first and
second grader, so it's dealing withlike squirrels basically. You know, there
is a couple that are really focusedand really know what they want to do,
and then the rest of them arejust like, oh my goodness,

(01:34:40):
look in this guy and look onthe wall, and I'm going to run
here and do that. And you'rejust like, let's let's play basketball.
But I want to go over here, I'm gonna run this, I'm gonna
throw this in Wait, wait tillyou see what kindergarten. I'm sure it's
ten times worse dealing with my ownfive year old. Yeah, I'm sure
it's worse. Kindergarten is an eyeawakener of like having to keep them occupied.
I'll get you know, off air. We'll talk about some tips in

(01:35:03):
terms of that of putting them instations and everything. We'll talk about that
when we get into this. Itwon't only be just me. I'm sure
I will help help. Do youthink that you'll continue coaching throughout their career?
I hope so. I mean,my kids love it, and you
know, coaching. I coached themwith t ball and softball, and they
they would look for it. Youknow, it's the one thing with my

(01:35:25):
kids that I can truly bond withthem over because you know, my daughter
and my son do dance, sothat's my wife's thing. You know,
I've never I don't dance. That'sa big no no for me. You
don't dance. I do not dance. You can't get me to dance,
you can't pay me to dance.It's not a thing. But you know
I'll do leaps in the living room. God, No, Nope, I
might break it down in my livingroom because nobody's watching. Was different,
but you know, they're big intothat. My daughter's been dancing she was

(01:35:48):
like three, so, you know, four or five years now, and
that's that's my wife's thing. Sofor me, it was always what can
I do with them that we cankind of have and that bond, you
know. So it's always been sports. You know, my kids both do
soccer. They my son's now goingto do basketball. My daughter does soccer,
basketball, she did softball this year. She wants to get into volleyball.

(01:36:13):
Like wow, They're all about thesports and even if it's a sport
that I you know, I'm notgood at baseball, but I'm gonna jump
into it. I'm gonna learn andtry to help them grow for it.
So you know, it's it's oneof those things where so long as they'll
allow me to, they're not like, Dad, get away from me,
you're embarrassing me. You know,I'm gonna do it. I love it.
I you know, started with withthe basketball, and I also got

(01:36:33):
into coaching them for soccer, andyou're one hundred percent right. It opens
up a whole different lane of conversationwith them. Yeah, and also their
friends, like they they look atus differently, like they speak to us
differently, and they're excited to tellus things because of the way that we
coach. Like you and I,I think we're similar. We're like fatherly

(01:36:54):
when we coach, so we're likewe want we care about what the kid
has to say. We're not justlike do this drill and that's it.
Yeah, but we actually want tohear. You know, some of them
are distracted. Oh yeah, theywant to be distracted, that's for sure,
but we got to get them backin line. But yeah, it
opens up a whole new I absolutelylove it. It's I think it's going
to be like a lifelong passion forme. It's definitely rewarding. You know,
you get all these kids and it'scool to see them grow. You

(01:37:16):
know, if you start in aleague and you're starting at the bottom.
Now you're watching them go if they'recontinuing, right, they go from kindergarten
for a second, third, fourth, and you're coaching them throughout or someone
else, and you're just seeing themgrow, and it's like that's really awesome,
Like you you have that in yourmind and it's it's just a great
feeling and you and I both knowfrom playing basketball together, is that even
as we get into adulthood, likeyou still grow in sports, like we've

(01:37:39):
got improved since we started playing togetherfor sure, which we got to get
back on the court together. Yeah. Well all right, well, so
concluding this this whole episode, Ithink you know, this has just been
really awesome having you on here.It's it's always nice to have a friend
on. It's always nice to havesomebody where we can talk business, we
can talk fitness, like what you'redoing, and then we can just talk

(01:38:01):
as friends. But I want tomake sure that everybody knows about your podcast
and where they can find you andhow they can get a hold of you.
Of course, well that'll be inthe show notes, but go ahead.
So if you were on, thepodcast is on Spotify, Free Minded
Health and Fitness, and then youcan also find it on Apple Podcasts and
I hurt Media. And then howcan people find on social So there's a

(01:38:21):
couple of different ways. There ismy main fitness page, which is Goodbye
dad bod on Instagram, and thenI'm also on Instagram with the podcast Free
Minded A was h Health Fitness hFP. I believe it is. I
had to abbreviate it someone there wasa whole thing about it. But so

(01:38:41):
I'm also on Twitter with the sameone for for the podcast. As far
as Facebook goes, I do havemy Goodbye Dad bod pages as well.
Goodbye Dad bob Bot I think isa really cool one to find you at.
And then Free Minded Health and Fitnesspodcast streaming on all platforms and then
also on Facebook. It's been awesomehaving you and Aaron. Thanks for having
me. It's been a pleasure.Thank you for listening to The Michael Esposito
Show. For show notes, videoclips and more episodes, go to Michael

(01:39:06):
Espositoinc. Dot com backslash podcast.Thank you again to our sponsor dn ten
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global scale. This episode was producedby Uncle Mike at the iHeart Studios in
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