December 6, 2024 • 38 mins
How does early labor really unfold, and why does it often catch new parents by surprise? Join us with our special guest, Emily Steadman, a seasoned doula. Emily sheds light on the marathon-like nature of early labor, contrasting it with the unrealistic portrayals we see in the media. Together, we explore the importance of conserving energy and pacing oneself in the anticipation of childbirth, ensuring that expectant parents are well-prepared for the journey ahead.
For those facing anxiety or discomfort at home during early labor, we dive into various coping strategies that harness both physical and mental techniques. Emily shares tips on creating a comforting environment using heat, movement, and mindset adjustments. We further explore personal coping mechanisms, from embracing hobbies to indulging in comforting activities like binge-watching a series or experimenting with new recipes. Our goal is to provide listeners with practical and relatable strategies to ease the early stages of labor, transforming them into moments of calm and control.
Navigating the induction process in a hospital setting can be daunting, but with the right approach, it doesn't have to be. We examine how small changes, such as bringing personal items and managing expectations, can drastically enhance the experience. Emily highlights the significance of involving family members while ensuring they are ready to support post-birth. Through heartfelt anecdotes and professional insights, we aim to empower our listeners to trust their instincts and cultivate a stress-free environment conducive to a positive birth experience.
Special guest: Emily Steadman
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Show Credits
Host: Angie Rosier
Music: Michael Hicks
Photographer: Toni Walker
Episode Artwork: Nick Greenwood
Producer: Gillian Rosier Frampton
Voiceover: Ryan Parker
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Ordinary Doula Podcast with
Angie Rozier, hosted by BirthLearning, where we help prepare
folks for labor and birth withexpertise coming from 20 years
of experience in a busy doulapractice, helping thousands of
people prepare for labor,providing essential knowledge
and tools for positive andempowering birth experiences.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello and welcome to the Ordinary Doula Podcast.
My name is Angie Rozier and Ihave a pretty awesome guest with
us here today.
This is a longtime colleagueand friend.
Her name is Emily Stedman.
She's been a doula for a longtime and she is expert on so
many things.
I love learning from Emily.
Talking to Emily, working withEmily, I like to refer to her as
(01:14):
a walking research article.
She is just a wealth ofknowledge and information.
She's been doing this work along time and I will let her
introduce herself a little bitmore.
So, Emily, tell us a little bitabout yourself, what you love
about this work, what got youinto it, how long you've been
doing it.
Give us a little background ofyourself.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Of course, thanks for having me.
I've been a doula, officiallycompleted my training in 2011
and been working in the birthfield soon.
I always imagined I'd work inmedicine.
I always had an interest inlike nursing and was completing
nursing prerequisites, wasstarting nursing school the next
(01:50):
semester and needed kind of aplace filler in my schedule and
found a doula and childbirthpreparation class.
They called it, took it andjust changed my life.
I'm like, wow, this is what Iwant to do.
This I just found.
It just lit a fire in me apassion for advocating and um
(02:12):
and supporting um people as they, as they move into parenthood
and um and give birth and feedtheir babies and um, uh, worked
as a doula pretty consistentlythroughout that Took a little
pause here and there as wewelcomed our own babies into our
family and, yeah, I'm waitingon a client today to hopefully
(02:35):
go and support as well.
So it's good work, it'simportant work.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
It is and you are so very good at it.
So today Emily is going tosomething I think she is really
great at, among many otherthings, is we're calling
strategies for early labor.
Now, as we've talked, you know,in the past and as we educate
our clients, early laborsurprises people a lot because
(03:02):
it's so long or it's so slow, ittakes some time and I don't
think people are always readyfor that.
I think that if you, you know,if you got any of your education
from pop culture, from thegeneral media in the United
States, you were kind of led tobelieve that birth is fast and
furious and it fits in a sitcom,and that is not the case.
(03:25):
A lot of times.
We have some pretty lengthystages of labor, especially that
early phase of labor.
So, emily, talk to us aboutsome of the things people can be
prepared for or do during thoseearly labor phases and a little
bit about what that phase isand what it's like, what to
expect.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Absolutely so.
In birth, in birth work, I'velearned that you don't know
anything and every birth isgoing to be different.
And when you do it severalhundred times, you notice trends
and you notice commonalities,but every situation is just so
different.
I always tell people to preparefor a marathon are so different
(04:04):
.
I always tell people to preparefor a marathon.
Do sprints occur?
You know, are there births thatoccur faster than we expect?
Absolutely Sometimes thathappens, Much more often the
process is a little slower and alittle more nuanced than people
expect, and so that early laborthat you know, that kind of
(04:29):
pre-labor phase even often takespeople by surprise.
As doulas, we always visit withthe clients after they give
birth, kind of to wrap up ourexperience.
I always ask them questionslike is there something you wish
you knew before you went intothis process?
Is there something you wish youhad learned more about?
Is there a question you wishyou knew before you went into
this process?
Is there something you wish youhad learned more about?
Is there a question you wishyou had asked your provider?
(04:49):
And I've used those answers tokind of significantly change how
I educate and how I preparepeople over the years for their
experience, and I would say ninetimes out of 10,.
When I visit with someone who'sgiven birth, usually for the
first time, they say gosh, Iwish I had slept more, I wish I
(05:12):
had not gotten so excited Veryoften, I wish I had stayed home
longer.
We really got overexcited.
We went into our birth facilitymuch sooner than we had planned
on, much sooner than weprobably needed to be there, or
we started drawing on a lot ofour heavier coping strategies
(05:36):
earlier than we probably shouldhave, and so I just have started
you know, using that languageto prepare future clients to say
you know, nine times out of 10,I hear people say I wish I had
slept more, I wish I had restedmore.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I love your marathon strategy.
That's so perfect because yougot to pace yourself right, like
you're going to need some gasin the tank at mile 22.
And if you go out of the gatesuper excited, that's gonna hard
, that's hard to come by.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
For sure.
And if you're, I love thedistance running strategy and in
fact some of my clients havebeen runners or you know
distance athletes and they'vesaid a lot of the same
strategies really do apply.
And so you know, if you'repreparing for 26 miles and the
the finish line ends up 10 milesdown the road, no one's like
(06:30):
unhappy about that, right.
But if you're preparing for a5k and the finish line never,
never shows up and never showsup, and the 10k, you know, mark
rolls around and the finish linestill not there, gotta keep
running.
You're kind of out of steam.
And so almost always you knowpreparing for maybe longer than
you thought.
(06:50):
And so you know back to moresleeping.
You know I hear so often peoplesay I wish I had slept more,
but that's easier said than done, right?
So if you're either A excitedto be in labor so if you're
either A excited to be in labor,which most people are, or B,
you're really uncomfortable,which early labor can absolutely
(07:12):
be pretty intense anduncomfortable for some people
how do you sleep through that?
And so I always encourage myclients to kind of develop some
strategies for getting moresleep.
And of course, as doulas, wecan never recommend medication,
and so I always encourage them.
Talk to your provider about theuse of medication in early labor
(07:34):
, if that's something you'reinterested in.
So ask your doctor.
Would it be reasonable to usesomething like Tylenol to help
with the pain of early labor?
Would it be reasonable to trysomething like Unisom or
Benadryl to help with the painof early labor?
Would it be reasonable to trysomething like Unisom or
Benadryl to get a little bit ofextra sleep?
And some people don't want touse any medication and we
absolutely support that right asdoulas.
(07:55):
But a lot of times when peoplestart to think about it, start
to do the mental math.
They realize if you go into thehospital in an early phase of
labor, you're not in an activephase and it's not time for them
to keep you for labor.
They'll often offer yousomething like a shot of
morphine with often somethinglike fenugrin in it, which is
(08:17):
kind of a sedative-basedmedication.
So when you're considering thatthat's what the hospital would
happily offer most people, allof a sudden a Tylenol or a
little bit of Unisom doesn'tstart to seem so Right.
You can do that.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So if you're wanting to potentially use medication,
that's one option, right?
Some people find a lot ofcomfort in heat, in ice, in
movement.
So we talk about that hot packson the back or on the lower
belly, things like that we talkabout and often give movement
strategies, kind of stretching.
(08:54):
But I think the number onething is just to really and I
joke with some people if aclient seems like they would
appreciate the humor I saygaslight yourself, tell yourself
I like that.
This isn't happening.
This is so mild and manageable.
(09:16):
These sensations I'm feelingare not even close to labor.
I don't think that I am evenfeeling anything right now.
This is so easy and mild andmanageable.
And I always preface that withonce you're full term, if you
have a low risk pregnancy, ifyour provider has told you it's
(09:39):
safe for you to labor at home.
So we don't want to ignorecramping or labor-like
sensations.
If we're preterm, if we have ahigh-risk situation, that should
bring us into the hospitalright away.
And so always, you know we'realways, always conferring with
our provider about the safety ofthat.
But once you're into afull-term part of your pregnancy
(10:00):
after 37 weeks, once you're,you know we've confirmed your
baby's, ideally head down.
Everything is kind of in a lowrisk situation and your
providers told you yeah, you canlabor at home.
It's okay to you know, stay athome for the first part of your
labor.
That's a great time to justdistract and deny and dismiss
(10:27):
for as long as you possibly can.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I like that distraction method and I've
heard you say this to clientsfind something to do, right,
like whether that's catching upon a show, going for a walk,
there's a lot of things.
Just keep your mind off, justlike you said, like ignore it
for a while, just kind of put ashit down the road until you
can't ignore it anymore.
(10:50):
Your body will let you know,right, it kind of will take over
.
But, emily, tell me, I have twoquestions here For folks who
are a little more anxious aboutthings and it is hard to calm
the mind sometimes.
This is something you've beenanticipating for so long.
Right, you're jittery, you'rejumpy, you're raring to go,
(11:11):
you're like awesome, let's dothis thing.
And yeah, those of us who haveseen this hundreds of times,
you're like you know what.
Just chill out for a littlewhile.
What are some strategies forfolks who it's just hard for
their mind to calm down in orderto let their body be still or
quiet in those boring quiettimes?
How can we, how can those folksthat are a little anxious about
(11:32):
it approach that?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
That's a great question.
So a couple of things.
It depends on what you know.
I always encourage people.
Always encourage people whenyou're in.
Labor is not a great time todevelop an entire new
personality and new series ofcoping strategies, right?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Right Like impossible .
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Like impossible.
Right, you're busy, you'redoing something else.
I always encourage people tostart thinking about how they
have coped with other excitingor possibly stressful or
possibly exhausting situationsthroughout their life.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
So that's going to be emotional or physical, or both,
right?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Absolutely, yep.
So some people are morephysically anxious.
They're jittery, they'renervous, they're excited,
they're pacing they're.
They're excited, they're pacingthey're.
You know, some people are morementally anxious, you know, um,
what if we?
What if we wait too long?
Um, is everything going to beokay?
I saw a couple of spots of pinkin my, you know, on my toilet
paper is is.
Is that normal?
Um?
(12:37):
So you know you are the expertin you.
Your provider is an expert inmedicine.
If you choose to have a doulawith you, hopefully she's an
expert, or they're an expert inmedicine.
If you choose to have a doulawith you, hopefully she's an
expert or they're an expert inthe birth process.
But you, the person givingbirth, is the expert in them and
you know you and your mind andyour anxieties and fears and
(13:00):
excitement better than anyoneelse.
And so, trying to kind offormulate a plan before you're
there about how you can calmyour own mind, about what helps
you, you know we develop copingstrategies throughout our life.
Some of them are really helpful.
We go for a run after work ifit's been a long day.
We cuddle up with a loved oneand turn on a favorite show.
(13:22):
We sip, you know our favoritetea from a warm mug.
And some of the copingstrategies we develop throughout
our life are not very helpful,right, some people develop
addictions that are not helpful.
But you know how you cope orhow you don't, and so trying to
kind of find what's worked foryou in the past and what can
(13:43):
translate into the birth space.
You know a run maybe not thebest for early labor, right, we
don't want to physically exhaustourself, but maybe a short
brisk walk can quiet the mind,can calm your anxieties, if
you're one that's a cuddle upkind of person.
(14:04):
You know, turning on a favoriteshow, you know what's chicken
soup for you, um, you know anepisode of friend.
Or I joke start a lord of therings marathon or harry potter
see how far you get, yeah,what's a tedious, enjoyable
movie or show?
um, you know, if you're, ifyou're one that loves to use
your hands you know knitting, orum another um kind of busy
(14:30):
hobby?
Um start a tedious um recipe.
There's a fun um eggplantparmesan recipe from a
restaurant on the east coastthat they claim induces labor
where it works, and there's likeall sorts of testimonials on
the website and they started umposting the recipe so people
that don't live locally canprepare it and as a joke for fun
(14:54):
, I've sent it to people.
What it does do is it's a verytedious recipe that takes a lot
of time, and so, if nothing else, it gets your mind off of um
the sensations you're feelingyou know at the end of that, if,
if you get, if labor doesn'tstop you, you can have yummy,
absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
So what I'm hearing too, like I like this approach
something for your mind,something for your body, and
maybe both right.
Like if you to call, like ifyou're sitting and cooking a
tedious recipe, you're up andmoving, you're thinking like
your mind's being slightlyoccupied, not hard, your body's
being slightly occupied, nothard.
I also think the movementcomponent is important.
(15:37):
So I love the idea of a moviemarathon and sometimes you're
going to get through all, allthe lord of the rings.
Sometimes you're not right,like sometimes you'll have a
baby long before that, but it's.
I see someone sitting on a ball, like right, just like bouncing
on a ball as they watch.
So so they have a movementcomponent and you know you
(15:57):
cuddle up for some of that.
But just being flexible, um,things for the body and mind,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
And I think you know I often compare it to other
physical discomfort we've had inour life.
Right, if you are in thegrocery store and you're pushing
a shopping cart and you stubyour toe and you're in public,
there's children around you knowyou can't say some choice words
(16:25):
.
So, you just sort of take a deepbreath and you just go on about
your shopping trip, right?
Um?
If you were to stub your toe athome, in the privacy of your
own home, you might have a fewchoice words.
You might immediately think ohmy gosh, it's broken.
My toe is broken, I have to.
I gotta get this sock off.
It's probably bleeding, amgoing to be okay.
(16:48):
Once you start to focus on asensation, it almost always
becomes stronger and lessmanageable.
I think the sensations of earlylabor are similar to that If we
decide we're going to go out todinner with a friend and we
have to take some deep breathsthrough some sensation, but we
(17:10):
just go about.
If we decide we're going totake a stroll in the park, if we
decide we're going to, you know, finish up a little bit of work
or a craft around the house,versus if we just sit on the
side of our bed and get ourcontraction timer out and start
trying to really notice everysingle sensation we have, the
minute it starts, the minute itstops, I think it's almost
(17:33):
always going to feel less manright, right, I like that I hate
contraction.
I have a love hate relationshipwith contraction.
Timing out right I agree.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I think it's a good check-in every now and then, but
don't live on it.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Some of them are real eager to encourage you to go to
your birthplace.
Sometimes you'll you'll have acouple of contractions and it's
like, oh, time to go to thehospital, get your bag, get your
bag ready.
Um, so I would, um, you know,because of liability issues, I
think they're almost alwaysgoing to.
If it has a component built into recommend you go to your
(18:11):
birthplace, it's almost alwaysgoing to recommend you go quite
soon in the process forliability reasons.
A contraction timing app alsodoesn't have the nuance of you
and your provider.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Right, it doesn't sense intensity of anything
really, right.
It's just a frequency duration.
It's not an internal of anykind.
It's not measuring experience,just the outside.
Look.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
And the app doesn't know if you are two hours from
the hospital or 10 minutes.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
If this is your first baby or your third baby.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Which makes a significant difference.
Right, a lot of thesestrategies we're talking about
not very relevant if we'rehaving a second or third baby.
You know, often we're nothearing from people days before
with the second baby.
We're hearing from people theafternoon like, hey, I've been
cramping throughout the day and,uh, you know, we got to get,
you know, little junior pickedup from from daycare and off to
(19:06):
grandma's quick because, um, youknow, maybe you should meet us
over at the hospital.
Like, we're not right often thesame, you know, kind of days,
um, but, um, yeah, so thesethese apps love hate
relationship.
Um, first of all, I don't lovehow often and how quickly they
recommend you go to the thehospital.
An app is not a physician or amidwife or a childbirth educator
(19:28):
, it's just an app.
But also, I think some peopleare really committed to getting
the data, and so I have peoplethat are sitting there timing
every single cramp andconfection for hours and hours
and hours.
That's exhausting, that'smentally exhausting.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
That's like watching a boiling pot, right Like it's
that is.
Yeah, that's a lot of workabsolutely like watching the
turkey.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Right, you know it's going to be thanksgiving if you
were to pop open the oven andcheck every two minutes to see
if the turkey was browning yet.
Um, it's.
It's gonna feel likethanksgiving.
Dinner took a day to cook,right, right, if you just set in
the oven and ignore it, set atimer for a few hours when you
think it might be time.
(20:13):
You know, I tell people ifthey're timing contractions,
don't even time them for acouple hours.
Come back in a couple hours,give it a break.
Give it a break Because activelabor, it's not subtle, you're
not going to miss it.
It'll get your attention.
You're not gonna miss, it'llget your attention.
You're not gonna sleep throughit.
You're not gonna be at thegrocery store trying to run an
(20:33):
errand and all of a suddenyou're just an active labor and
the baby's coming out.
We have to call an ambulance.
Like.
Those stories are so fun and sohappy because they're so, so
rare.
Right, right in the wal Walmartparking lot and the patrol
trooper comes and helps.
Right, you know we hear aboutthose stories once every six
(20:55):
months because that's about howoften they happen, right?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
It's not normal.
Okay, so the other part of myquestion of this we've talked
about being at home.
What if you are in the hospitalfor this?
We have a lot of inductionsituations like where we're
doing long, slow burn on aninduction, whether we have
cervical ripening going on.
We're taking it easy, beingnice and patient about it.
You're in a hospital room,right, you can't wander, you
(21:21):
can't go for long hikes or walksin this.
Give us some strategies forbeing in the hospital space
during that time.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Absolutely so great question Because, yeah, I would
say about half of our clientsthese days are having an
induction, some for, you know,elective reasons they are ready
to bring this pregnancy to aclose and some for medical
necessity.
So it's very common.
A lot of people don't realizehow common induction is and,
depending on your birth plan,your preferences, it may or may
(21:52):
not be something that you wouldchoose or be recommended to have
at some point, but I think it'salways good to start wondering
about how you might manage thisin the hospital setting.
So I think, even starting withthe language that you use, so if
your induction is starting withsomething like a misoprostol or
(22:16):
a cervidil or a Foley, catheteror balloon, if you're hearing
any of those terms at yourinduction, that is what you
mentioned before as cervicalripener.
So this is not yet labor.
This we are trying to use amedication or a mechanical
(22:37):
device or maybe a combination ofof both to actually soften and
prepare the cervix for labor.
So if you say the first, youknow I went into the hospital at
8pm on a Friday and theystarted my labor and it was 48
hours later until I had the baby.
(22:58):
I was in labor for 48 hoursfirst, 12 or even 24 hours of
that for cervical ripening, aprocess that usually does not
lead to strong, regularcontractions, that does not lead
to active changing of thecervix.
And so even starting to kind ofchange the verbiage that you're
(23:21):
using, changing your mentalitya little bit, I think, can help
the process feel less ominous,less long and so kind of going
in knowing that the first 12,even 24 hours might be fairly
mild and manageable, it might befairly uneventful and as much
(23:44):
as possible I can kind of goabout my life as close as I
could in a hospital setting.
Right, you can get up and shower, you can turn on a favorite
movie, you can have your partnerpossibly go order or bring into
the hospital some of yourfavorite food, have a date night
(24:06):
, you know, bring a.
You know Uber.
You know Uber eats a favoritemeal from a restaurant and bring
the Lord of the Rings with youI'm Lord of the Rings fan and
your movies and eat your meals.
You know if you're kind of infull patient mode, um, you know,
laying in the bed with a gownon hooked up to machines from
(24:28):
you know hour one of thatinduction that can start to feel
really, really unmanageabletoward the end of it.
If you're in your own clothes,you brought a blanket and pillow
from your own bed.
You've got some you know, someshows on that you're enjoying or
a card game that you love toplay.
I think that can help it feelless clinical.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
And get out of the bed too right, Like move around
the room, Even if you're beingmonitored.
You do not have to lay or sitin that bed.
You can do other things sittingon the couch or a ball near the
bed.
I think being in a bed a longtime gets pretty long and old
for sure being in a bed a longtime gets.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
It's pretty long and old for sure.
Yeah, yeah, laying in ahospital bed, in a hospital gown
, for two days, no one's gonnafeel good after that, even under
the circumstances.
Showering, putting on comfyclothes, sitting on a ball um,
covid, restrictions are areloosening significantly.
Um, we're seeing most hospitalshappy to let you walk in the
halls now, which we hadn't seenfor years.
So, getting out walking in thehalls, you know it's easier to
(25:34):
ask for forgiveness andpermission.
So, even if you sneak past theyou know doors for a minute, go
find a window with some, go seethe outside, go check out the
snack room, say hi to thenursing staff if you're wanting
to kind of be friendly andsocial.
And, yeah, definitely.
(25:56):
And then, you know, trying torest.
So we love movement.
We want to move a lot in earlylabor and we want to hopefully
balance periods of good activemovement with really, you know,
productive movement with rest.
So if we're sitting on the ball, we don't want to sit and do
circles and bounce on our ballfor 12 hours.
(26:17):
Right, our hips and our kneesare going to be pretty tired by
the end of that.
So I love you know, somethingsimple like the mile circuit we
talk about often.
You know, getting moving andwalking and stretching and then
resting.
Resting in a good functionalposition, so a nice kind of
exaggerated side lying position,propping your leg up on the
(26:41):
pillows, you know, so you'rekind of half onto your belly,
allowing a lot of good rotationand descent for baby.
You know, rest for an hour ortwo, get up and do it again,
right, get up and so yeah, andeating normally.
So that's another thing in thein the.
How long has it been now?
12 years since I've been adoula 1314, I can't even count
(27:04):
anymore.
There's so much more open atmost birthing places, at most
facilities for you eating,especially in those early stages
.
Some of our facilities will letyou eat throughout any part of
labor, but most hospitals arepretty happy for you to eat
before Pitocin is started,before an epidural is placed, if
(27:26):
you're choosing one, and that'ssomething.
If you're planning an induction,I'd actually ask the provider
before you even start theprocess what's the policy on
eating and drinking?
I understand that an inductioncould take 36 or 48 hours.
I'm not interested in noteating for two days.
What are my options?
(27:48):
What would be safe andreasonable, even if it's not
common.
Do you feel comfortable, as myprovider, with me eating
normally in those early stagesof this induction?
First of all, if they say no,I'd ask why and I'd ask a few
more questions.
But often they'll say yes, oncethe provider has given you an
(28:08):
okay, I think it's really easyto then advocate for yourself
with maybe the nursing staffLike oh, I actually already
talked to the provider about it,they're comfortable with me
eating in this early stage andeating regular meals at regular
times can really help to createa normal pace and kind of keep
(28:32):
us less in this clinical patientmode and more in like our
normal life.
So I feel like I'm rambling now, but you know, stopping to get
regular meals at regular times Ithink can so much make those
first 12 hours or so of thatinduction process just feel so
much more manageable and lessclinical.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I love that and pacing like you're.
If you're doing that, you'regoing to have three, four or so
hours between those meal events,something you can anticipate,
look forward to, as you aresitting there for 12, 24 or more
hours for sure.
So, emily, one more thing, Ithink, before you wrap it up.
I know you've seen this a lot.
I've seen a lot.
We're in a situation wherewe're in a long, slow burn of an
(29:19):
induction because we're beingpatient, letting the body, and
it takes time right.
A cervix that's not quite readyis going to take a lot of time
for most people to coax it open,for soften it, so we can open
it.
Family members right, so thiscould be a partner, supportive
family members.
They may have in their mind adifferent picture.
(29:39):
I see so often people arewaiting in the waiting room,
anxiously, right, like we have anumber of people out there, or
calling, texting, like is thatbaby here yet?
What's taken so long?
Why are you still pregnant?
Why don't they just hurry it upor do a c-section?
Um, how can we prepare thosearound us, those supporting us
with the best of intentions, um,so that they are not pestering
(30:03):
and they're not pushing, so thatthey, they also need to
understand what to expect.
Um, because it could be one day, two days.
I've seen a lot of situationswhere we have loving family
members waiting in the waitingroom.
By the time we get to a baby,they're hangry, they need a
shower, they're grumpy, theycan't wait to get out of there
and here's the baby.
So talk to us about that alittle bit.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Absolutely so.
I think induction or laboringat home with more of a
spontaneous type of labor, Ithink, pacing your support.
So if you have a doula on board, if you have nursing staff
supporting you, their job islabor support right, and that's
(30:46):
what they specialize in.
When the baby's born, yourdoula heads home.
And now you have recently givenbirth and you have a newborn
baby to take care of, yourno-transcript, a well-meaning
grandma, a loving aunt, a sisterthat's a great time for them to
(31:08):
step in and help and support.
And they're not going to be ina good mental or physical place
to do that if they haven't sleptfor two nights.
Right.
And so having you know you arethe expert in you and your
family.
Some people don't let anybodyknow they're in the hospital.
Some people have no interest insupport there.
(31:30):
Some people are happy just toupdate family once the baby is
there.
I think that's a great strategy.
I think that works well forsome people.
Some people want that love andsupport, some people want that
community, and so I thinkgetting realistic ideas about
the process from your childbirtheducator, your doula, your
(31:51):
provider, and then sharing thoseand actually sharing the time
of those, like based on howthey're inducing my labor.
It could be a couple of daysuntil the baby is here.
I would love you guys to comebring us dinner and visit for a
few minutes and then go home andsleep.
We'll check in with youtomorrow.
We don't expect anything'sgoing to happen overnight and it
(32:12):
will be a second night too, youknow so that grandma and aunt
and well-meaning family are not,like you said, sitting in the
waiting room for 12 hours or 24hours or more.
I think that can be helpful.
24 hours or more, I think thatcan be helpful.
Some people find even havingtheir partner sleeping or away
(32:33):
from them less realistic in ahospital setting.
But I've had some people evenwant the partner to be sleeping,
you know, for some parts ofthis, so that they can be
mentally, physically well tosupport whoever's given birth
and their new baby.
You know, just personally, forme, you know, my water broke in
(32:53):
the middle of the night with mysecond baby.
I didn't wake my husband up.
Of course, if I started goinginto labor I would have, but I
didn't.
He didn't need to miss sleepwhile I knew that nothing was
likely to be happening for a fewhours.
I wanted him to be well restedso that by the second night when
I was in labor he was likementally and physically well
(33:13):
enough to be a good support tome to make decisions if
decisions needed to be made.
So some people find that reallylaboring by themselves in this
early phase is more helpful andof course, again, the person
giving birth is the expert inthem.
But you know, some people aremore social birthers.
(33:34):
They want.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
They want to be surrounded by people.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Want to be surrounded and we love that and we love
that.
Some people are much more, youknow, kind of crawl in a dark
cave and labor by themselves andI think people sometimes don't
know that that's even an optionand, you know, in a clinical
setting, in a hospital, lessrealistic in some ways, but
there's still a way to do that.
Some people don't want to bewatched, some people don't want
(34:02):
to be talked to and touched andsurrounded, especially in those
earlier phases.
Some people just kind of wantto cocoon up.
You know, one of the mostfunctional labors I've ever seen
was a home birth and the womanwould come out and say, you know
, go check on the baby.
And the midwife would listenfor a minute and check in on her
(34:23):
and she's like okay, I'm goingto go back to my room now.
She's like, I just like it.
It's dark and it's quiet inthere.
And she's like, and I am justcrawling around on the floor
because it feels so good and Ijust don't want everybody to
watch me do that, I just want todo my thing.
And we said, of course, so shewould go do her thing.
And then, you know, she'd popout 20 minutes later.
(34:44):
Some people really just want tokind of get in the zone and
focus and listen to theirinstincts, without feeling like
they need to put on aperformance or a show, without
feeling like they need to host abirth.
You know, if you've got aunt,you know Eileen and grandma
Kathy there and you feel likeyou have to kind of put on a
performance for them.
(35:05):
You want to host them, you wantthem to feel comfortable and
involved in the process.
That's taking you out of thatprimal part of your brain that
kind of needs to quiet down andlisten to itself.
And so I think you knowvisiting with yourself about the
(35:25):
kind of person you are beforeyou're in labor and what you're
likely going to want or notagain, I think is a good
strategy, you know topotentially decide how you want
to handle visitors supportthroughout that process.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
I love that and also being flexible, like knowing
what you think you know aboutyourself or what you've prepared
may change during labor.
You can always change your mindon who's with you or who's
there Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Emily, you have given us some great things to think
about.
Hopefully folks have realisticexpectations.
This can help them realize thatearly labor is long and slow
sometimes and what this gives ussome good things, of what we
can do during that time so thatwe are most comfortable, both
emotionally, mentally,physically.
And that our support I lovethat phrase, pacing your support
(36:19):
, whether that's near support,far support, helping them have
realistic expectations, emily,any last words, any parting
thoughts before we wrap it uptoday.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Put down the contraction timing app.
I love it, you know.
Keep the lights low, getsomething to eat, move and rest.
You're not going to miss labor.
I promise the baby's not goingto climb out while you're
sleeping.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Love that.
Cool, Cool, cool.
Emily, thank you so much forbeing with us here today.
We sure appreciate your time,your expertise and what you have
shared.
So we're going to wrap it upfor the Ordinary Duel podcast.
Again, this is Angie Rose, yourhost.
Thanks so much for being withus.
Hopefully you can go out today,connect with someone near or
far, let someone know thatyou're thinking of them, you
(37:09):
support them, and wait for thathuman connection to come back to
you.
It always will.
Hope you have a good one and wewill see you next time.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Thank you for listening to the Ordinary Doula
podcast with Angie Rozier,hosted by Birth Learning.
Episode credits will be in theshow notes Tune in next time as
we continue to explore the manyaspects of giving birth.
Welcome to the Ordinary Doula Podcast with
Angie Rozier, hosted by BirthLearning, where we help prepare
folks for labor and birth withexpertise coming from 20 years
of experience in a busy doulapractice, helping thousands of
people prepare for labor,providing essential knowledge
and tools for positive andempowering birth experiences.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello and welcome to the Ordinary Doula Podcast.
My name is Angie Rozier and Ihave a pretty awesome guest with
us here today.
This is a longtime colleagueand friend.
Her name is Emily Stedman.
She's been a doula for a longtime and she is expert on so
many things.
I love learning from Emily.
Talking to Emily, working withEmily, I like to refer to her as
(01:14):
a walking research article.
She is just a wealth ofknowledge and information.
She's been doing this work along time and I will let her
introduce herself a little bitmore.
So, Emily, tell us a little bitabout yourself, what you love
about this work, what got youinto it, how long you've been
doing it.
Give us a little background ofyourself.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Of course, thanks for having me.
I've been a doula, officiallycompleted my training in 2011
and been working in the birthfield soon.
I always imagined I'd work inmedicine.
I always had an interest inlike nursing and was completing
nursing prerequisites, wasstarting nursing school the next
(01:50):
semester and needed kind of aplace filler in my schedule and
found a doula and childbirthpreparation class.
They called it, took it andjust changed my life.
I'm like, wow, this is what Iwant to do.
This I just found.
It just lit a fire in me apassion for advocating and um
(02:12):
and supporting um people as they, as they move into parenthood
and um and give birth and feedtheir babies and um, uh, worked
as a doula pretty consistentlythroughout that Took a little
pause here and there as wewelcomed our own babies into our
family and, yeah, I'm waitingon a client today to hopefully
(02:35):
go and support as well.
So it's good work, it'simportant work.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
It is and you are so very good at it.
So today Emily is going tosomething I think she is really
great at, among many otherthings, is we're calling
strategies for early labor.
Now, as we've talked, you know,in the past and as we educate
our clients, early laborsurprises people a lot because
(03:02):
it's so long or it's so slow, ittakes some time and I don't
think people are always readyfor that.
I think that if you, you know,if you got any of your education
from pop culture, from thegeneral media in the United
States, you were kind of led tobelieve that birth is fast and
furious and it fits in a sitcom,and that is not the case.
(03:25):
A lot of times.
We have some pretty lengthystages of labor, especially that
early phase of labor.
So, emily, talk to us aboutsome of the things people can be
prepared for or do during thoseearly labor phases and a little
bit about what that phase isand what it's like, what to
expect.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Absolutely so.
In birth, in birth work, I'velearned that you don't know
anything and every birth isgoing to be different.
And when you do it severalhundred times, you notice trends
and you notice commonalities,but every situation is just so
different.
I always tell people to preparefor a marathon are so different
(04:04):
.
I always tell people to preparefor a marathon.
Do sprints occur?
You know, are there births thatoccur faster than we expect?
Absolutely Sometimes thathappens, Much more often the
process is a little slower and alittle more nuanced than people
expect, and so that early laborthat you know, that kind of
(04:29):
pre-labor phase even often takespeople by surprise.
As doulas, we always visit withthe clients after they give
birth, kind of to wrap up ourexperience.
I always ask them questionslike is there something you wish
you knew before you went intothis process?
Is there something you wish youhad learned more about?
Is there a question you wishyou knew before you went into
this process?
Is there something you wish youhad learned more about?
Is there a question you wishyou had asked your provider?
(04:49):
And I've used those answers tokind of significantly change how
I educate and how I preparepeople over the years for their
experience, and I would say ninetimes out of 10,.
When I visit with someone who'sgiven birth, usually for the
first time, they say gosh, Iwish I had slept more, I wish I
(05:12):
had not gotten so excited Veryoften, I wish I had stayed home
longer.
We really got overexcited.
We went into our birth facilitymuch sooner than we had planned
on, much sooner than weprobably needed to be there, or
we started drawing on a lot ofour heavier coping strategies
(05:36):
earlier than we probably shouldhave, and so I just have started
you know, using that languageto prepare future clients to say
you know, nine times out of 10,I hear people say I wish I had
slept more, I wish I had restedmore.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I love your marathon strategy.
That's so perfect because yougot to pace yourself right, like
you're going to need some gasin the tank at mile 22.
And if you go out of the gatesuper excited, that's gonna hard
, that's hard to come by.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
For sure.
And if you're, I love thedistance running strategy and in
fact some of my clients havebeen runners or you know
distance athletes and they'vesaid a lot of the same
strategies really do apply.
And so you know, if you'repreparing for 26 miles and the
the finish line ends up 10 milesdown the road, no one's like
(06:30):
unhappy about that, right.
But if you're preparing for a5k and the finish line never,
never shows up and never showsup, and the 10k, you know, mark
rolls around and the finish linestill not there, gotta keep
running.
You're kind of out of steam.
And so almost always you knowpreparing for maybe longer than
you thought.
(06:50):
And so you know back to moresleeping.
You know I hear so often peoplesay I wish I had slept more,
but that's easier said than done, right?
So if you're either A excitedto be in labor so if you're
either A excited to be in labor,which most people are, or B,
you're really uncomfortable,which early labor can absolutely
(07:12):
be pretty intense anduncomfortable for some people
how do you sleep through that?
And so I always encourage myclients to kind of develop some
strategies for getting moresleep.
And of course, as doulas, wecan never recommend medication,
and so I always encourage them.
Talk to your provider about theuse of medication in early labor
(07:34):
, if that's something you'reinterested in.
So ask your doctor.
Would it be reasonable to usesomething like Tylenol to help
with the pain of early labor?
Would it be reasonable to trysomething like Unisom or
Benadryl to help with the painof early labor?
Would it be reasonable to trysomething like Unisom or
Benadryl to get a little bit ofextra sleep?
And some people don't want touse any medication and we
absolutely support that right asdoulas.
(07:55):
But a lot of times when peoplestart to think about it, start
to do the mental math.
They realize if you go into thehospital in an early phase of
labor, you're not in an activephase and it's not time for them
to keep you for labor.
They'll often offer yousomething like a shot of
morphine with often somethinglike fenugrin in it, which is
(08:17):
kind of a sedative-basedmedication.
So when you're considering thatthat's what the hospital would
happily offer most people, allof a sudden a Tylenol or a
little bit of Unisom doesn'tstart to seem so Right.
You can do that.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So if you're wanting to potentially use medication,
that's one option, right?
Some people find a lot ofcomfort in heat, in ice, in
movement.
So we talk about that hot packson the back or on the lower
belly, things like that we talkabout and often give movement
strategies, kind of stretching.
(08:54):
But I think the number onething is just to really and I
joke with some people if aclient seems like they would
appreciate the humor I saygaslight yourself, tell yourself
I like that.
This isn't happening.
This is so mild and manageable.
(09:16):
These sensations I'm feelingare not even close to labor.
I don't think that I am evenfeeling anything right now.
This is so easy and mild andmanageable.
And I always preface that withonce you're full term, if you
have a low risk pregnancy, ifyour provider has told you it's
(09:39):
safe for you to labor at home.
So we don't want to ignorecramping or labor-like
sensations.
If we're preterm, if we have ahigh-risk situation, that should
bring us into the hospitalright away.
And so always, you know we'realways, always conferring with
our provider about the safety ofthat.
But once you're into afull-term part of your pregnancy
(10:00):
after 37 weeks, once you're,you know we've confirmed your
baby's, ideally head down.
Everything is kind of in a lowrisk situation and your
providers told you yeah, you canlabor at home.
It's okay to you know, stay athome for the first part of your
labor.
That's a great time to justdistract and deny and dismiss
(10:27):
for as long as you possibly can.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I like that distraction method and I've
heard you say this to clientsfind something to do, right,
like whether that's catching upon a show, going for a walk,
there's a lot of things.
Just keep your mind off, justlike you said, like ignore it
for a while, just kind of put ashit down the road until you
can't ignore it anymore.
(10:50):
Your body will let you know,right, it kind of will take over
.
But, emily, tell me, I have twoquestions here For folks who
are a little more anxious aboutthings and it is hard to calm
the mind sometimes.
This is something you've beenanticipating for so long.
Right, you're jittery, you'rejumpy, you're raring to go,
(11:11):
you're like awesome, let's dothis thing.
And yeah, those of us who haveseen this hundreds of times,
you're like you know what.
Just chill out for a littlewhile.
What are some strategies forfolks who it's just hard for
their mind to calm down in orderto let their body be still or
quiet in those boring quiettimes?
How can we, how can those folksthat are a little anxious about
(11:32):
it approach that?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
That's a great question.
So a couple of things.
It depends on what you know.
I always encourage people.
Always encourage people whenyou're in.
Labor is not a great time todevelop an entire new
personality and new series ofcoping strategies, right?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Right Like impossible .
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Like impossible.
Right, you're busy, you'redoing something else.
I always encourage people tostart thinking about how they
have coped with other excitingor possibly stressful or
possibly exhausting situationsthroughout their life.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
So that's going to be emotional or physical, or both,
right?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Absolutely, yep.
So some people are morephysically anxious.
They're jittery, they'renervous, they're excited,
they're pacing they're.
They're excited, they're pacingthey're.
You know, some people are morementally anxious, you know, um,
what if we?
What if we wait too long?
Um, is everything going to beokay?
I saw a couple of spots of pinkin my, you know, on my toilet
paper is is.
Is that normal?
Um?
(12:37):
So you know you are the expertin you.
Your provider is an expert inmedicine.
If you choose to have a doulawith you, hopefully she's an
expert, or they're an expert inmedicine.
If you choose to have a doulawith you, hopefully she's an
expert or they're an expert inthe birth process.
But you, the person givingbirth, is the expert in them and
you know you and your mind andyour anxieties and fears and
(13:00):
excitement better than anyoneelse.
And so, trying to kind offormulate a plan before you're
there about how you can calmyour own mind, about what helps
you, you know we develop copingstrategies throughout our life.
Some of them are really helpful.
We go for a run after work ifit's been a long day.
We cuddle up with a loved oneand turn on a favorite show.
(13:22):
We sip, you know our favoritetea from a warm mug.
And some of the copingstrategies we develop throughout
our life are not very helpful,right, some people develop
addictions that are not helpful.
But you know how you cope orhow you don't, and so trying to
kind of find what's worked foryou in the past and what can
(13:43):
translate into the birth space.
You know a run maybe not thebest for early labor, right, we
don't want to physically exhaustourself, but maybe a short
brisk walk can quiet the mind,can calm your anxieties, if
you're one that's a cuddle upkind of person.
(14:04):
You know, turning on a favoriteshow, you know what's chicken
soup for you, um, you know anepisode of friend.
Or I joke start a lord of therings marathon or harry potter
see how far you get, yeah,what's a tedious, enjoyable
movie or show?
um, you know, if you're, ifyou're one that loves to use
your hands you know knitting, orum another um kind of busy
(14:30):
hobby?
Um start a tedious um recipe.
There's a fun um eggplantparmesan recipe from a
restaurant on the east coastthat they claim induces labor
where it works, and there's likeall sorts of testimonials on
the website and they started umposting the recipe so people
that don't live locally canprepare it and as a joke for fun
(14:54):
, I've sent it to people.
What it does do is it's a verytedious recipe that takes a lot
of time, and so, if nothing else, it gets your mind off of um
the sensations you're feelingyou know at the end of that, if,
if you get, if labor doesn'tstop you, you can have yummy,
absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
So what I'm hearing too, like I like this approach
something for your mind,something for your body, and
maybe both right.
Like if you to call, like ifyou're sitting and cooking a
tedious recipe, you're up andmoving, you're thinking like
your mind's being slightlyoccupied, not hard, your body's
being slightly occupied, nothard.
I also think the movementcomponent is important.
(15:37):
So I love the idea of a moviemarathon and sometimes you're
going to get through all, allthe lord of the rings.
Sometimes you're not right,like sometimes you'll have a
baby long before that, but it's.
I see someone sitting on a ball, like right, just like bouncing
on a ball as they watch.
So so they have a movementcomponent and you know you
(15:57):
cuddle up for some of that.
But just being flexible, um,things for the body and mind,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
And I think you know I often compare it to other
physical discomfort we've had inour life.
Right, if you are in thegrocery store and you're pushing
a shopping cart and you stubyour toe and you're in public,
there's children around you knowyou can't say some choice words
(16:25):
.
So, you just sort of take a deepbreath and you just go on about
your shopping trip, right?
Um?
If you were to stub your toe athome, in the privacy of your
own home, you might have a fewchoice words.
You might immediately think ohmy gosh, it's broken.
My toe is broken, I have to.
I gotta get this sock off.
It's probably bleeding, amgoing to be okay.
(16:48):
Once you start to focus on asensation, it almost always
becomes stronger and lessmanageable.
I think the sensations of earlylabor are similar to that If we
decide we're going to go out todinner with a friend and we
have to take some deep breathsthrough some sensation, but we
(17:10):
just go about.
If we decide we're going totake a stroll in the park, if we
decide we're going to, you know, finish up a little bit of work
or a craft around the house,versus if we just sit on the
side of our bed and get ourcontraction timer out and start
trying to really notice everysingle sensation we have, the
minute it starts, the minute itstops, I think it's almost
(17:33):
always going to feel less manright, right, I like that I hate
contraction.
I have a love hate relationshipwith contraction.
Timing out right I agree.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I think it's a good check-in every now and then, but
don't live on it.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Some of them are real eager to encourage you to go to
your birthplace.
Sometimes you'll you'll have acouple of contractions and it's
like, oh, time to go to thehospital, get your bag, get your
bag ready.
Um, so I would, um, you know,because of liability issues, I
think they're almost alwaysgoing to.
If it has a component built into recommend you go to your
(18:11):
birthplace, it's almost alwaysgoing to recommend you go quite
soon in the process forliability reasons.
A contraction timing app alsodoesn't have the nuance of you
and your provider.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Right, it doesn't sense intensity of anything
really, right.
It's just a frequency duration.
It's not an internal of anykind.
It's not measuring experience,just the outside.
Look.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
And the app doesn't know if you are two hours from
the hospital or 10 minutes.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
If this is your first baby or your third baby.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Which makes a significant difference.
Right, a lot of thesestrategies we're talking about
not very relevant if we'rehaving a second or third baby.
You know, often we're nothearing from people days before
with the second baby.
We're hearing from people theafternoon like, hey, I've been
cramping throughout the day and,uh, you know, we got to get,
you know, little junior pickedup from from daycare and off to
(19:06):
grandma's quick because, um, youknow, maybe you should meet us
over at the hospital.
Like, we're not right often thesame, you know, kind of days,
um, but, um, yeah, so thesethese apps love hate
relationship.
Um, first of all, I don't lovehow often and how quickly they
recommend you go to the thehospital.
An app is not a physician or amidwife or a childbirth educator
(19:28):
, it's just an app.
But also, I think some peopleare really committed to getting
the data, and so I have peoplethat are sitting there timing
every single cramp andconfection for hours and hours
and hours.
That's exhausting, that'smentally exhausting.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
That's like watching a boiling pot, right Like it's
that is.
Yeah, that's a lot of workabsolutely like watching the
turkey.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Right, you know it's going to be thanksgiving if you
were to pop open the oven andcheck every two minutes to see
if the turkey was browning yet.
Um, it's.
It's gonna feel likethanksgiving.
Dinner took a day to cook,right, right, if you just set in
the oven and ignore it, set atimer for a few hours when you
think it might be time.
(20:13):
You know, I tell people ifthey're timing contractions,
don't even time them for acouple hours.
Come back in a couple hours,give it a break.
Give it a break Because activelabor, it's not subtle, you're
not going to miss it.
It'll get your attention.
You're not gonna miss, it'llget your attention.
You're not gonna sleep throughit.
You're not gonna be at thegrocery store trying to run an
(20:33):
errand and all of a suddenyou're just an active labor and
the baby's coming out.
We have to call an ambulance.
Like.
Those stories are so fun and sohappy because they're so, so
rare.
Right, right in the wal Walmartparking lot and the patrol
trooper comes and helps.
Right, you know we hear aboutthose stories once every six
(20:55):
months because that's about howoften they happen, right?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
It's not normal.
Okay, so the other part of myquestion of this we've talked
about being at home.
What if you are in the hospitalfor this?
We have a lot of inductionsituations like where we're
doing long, slow burn on aninduction, whether we have
cervical ripening going on.
We're taking it easy, beingnice and patient about it.
You're in a hospital room,right, you can't wander, you
(21:21):
can't go for long hikes or walksin this.
Give us some strategies forbeing in the hospital space
during that time.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Absolutely so great question Because, yeah, I would
say about half of our clientsthese days are having an
induction, some for, you know,elective reasons they are ready
to bring this pregnancy to aclose and some for medical
necessity.
So it's very common.
A lot of people don't realizehow common induction is and,
depending on your birth plan,your preferences, it may or may
(21:52):
not be something that you wouldchoose or be recommended to have
at some point, but I think it'salways good to start wondering
about how you might manage thisin the hospital setting.
So I think, even starting withthe language that you use, so if
your induction is starting withsomething like a misoprostol or
(22:16):
a cervidil or a Foley, catheteror balloon, if you're hearing
any of those terms at yourinduction, that is what you
mentioned before as cervicalripener.
So this is not yet labor.
This we are trying to use amedication or a mechanical
(22:37):
device or maybe a combination ofof both to actually soften and
prepare the cervix for labor.
So if you say the first, youknow I went into the hospital at
8pm on a Friday and theystarted my labor and it was 48
hours later until I had the baby.
(22:58):
I was in labor for 48 hoursfirst, 12 or even 24 hours of
that for cervical ripening, aprocess that usually does not
lead to strong, regularcontractions, that does not lead
to active changing of thecervix.
And so even starting to kind ofchange the verbiage that you're
(23:21):
using, changing your mentalitya little bit, I think, can help
the process feel less ominous,less long and so kind of going
in knowing that the first 12,even 24 hours might be fairly
mild and manageable, it might befairly uneventful and as much
(23:44):
as possible I can kind of goabout my life as close as I
could in a hospital setting.
Right, you can get up and shower, you can turn on a favorite
movie, you can have your partnerpossibly go order or bring into
the hospital some of yourfavorite food, have a date night
(24:06):
, you know, bring a.
You know Uber.
You know Uber eats a favoritemeal from a restaurant and bring
the Lord of the Rings with youI'm Lord of the Rings fan and
your movies and eat your meals.
You know if you're kind of infull patient mode, um, you know,
laying in the bed with a gownon hooked up to machines from
(24:28):
you know hour one of thatinduction that can start to feel
really, really unmanageabletoward the end of it.
If you're in your own clothes,you brought a blanket and pillow
from your own bed.
You've got some you know, someshows on that you're enjoying or
a card game that you love toplay.
I think that can help it feelless clinical.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
And get out of the bed too right, Like move around
the room, Even if you're beingmonitored.
You do not have to lay or sitin that bed.
You can do other things sittingon the couch or a ball near the
bed.
I think being in a bed a longtime gets pretty long and old
for sure being in a bed a longtime gets.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
It's pretty long and old for sure.
Yeah, yeah, laying in ahospital bed, in a hospital gown
, for two days, no one's gonnafeel good after that, even under
the circumstances.
Showering, putting on comfyclothes, sitting on a ball um,
covid, restrictions are areloosening significantly.
Um, we're seeing most hospitalshappy to let you walk in the
halls now, which we hadn't seenfor years.
So, getting out walking in thehalls, you know it's easier to
(25:34):
ask for forgiveness andpermission.
So, even if you sneak past theyou know doors for a minute, go
find a window with some, go seethe outside, go check out the
snack room, say hi to thenursing staff if you're wanting
to kind of be friendly andsocial.
And, yeah, definitely.
(25:56):
And then, you know, trying torest.
So we love movement.
We want to move a lot in earlylabor and we want to hopefully
balance periods of good activemovement with really, you know,
productive movement with rest.
So if we're sitting on the ball, we don't want to sit and do
circles and bounce on our ballfor 12 hours.
(26:17):
Right, our hips and our kneesare going to be pretty tired by
the end of that.
So I love you know, somethingsimple like the mile circuit we
talk about often.
You know, getting moving andwalking and stretching and then
resting.
Resting in a good functionalposition, so a nice kind of
exaggerated side lying position,propping your leg up on the
(26:41):
pillows, you know, so you'rekind of half onto your belly,
allowing a lot of good rotationand descent for baby.
You know, rest for an hour ortwo, get up and do it again,
right, get up and so yeah, andeating normally.
So that's another thing in thein the.
How long has it been now?
12 years since I've been adoula 1314, I can't even count
(27:04):
anymore.
There's so much more open atmost birthing places, at most
facilities for you eating,especially in those early stages
.
Some of our facilities will letyou eat throughout any part of
labor, but most hospitals arepretty happy for you to eat
before Pitocin is started,before an epidural is placed, if
(27:26):
you're choosing one, and that'ssomething.
If you're planning an induction,I'd actually ask the provider
before you even start theprocess what's the policy on
eating and drinking?
I understand that an inductioncould take 36 or 48 hours.
I'm not interested in noteating for two days.
What are my options?
(27:48):
What would be safe andreasonable, even if it's not
common.
Do you feel comfortable, as myprovider, with me eating
normally in those early stagesof this induction?
First of all, if they say no,I'd ask why and I'd ask a few
more questions.
But often they'll say yes, oncethe provider has given you an
(28:08):
okay, I think it's really easyto then advocate for yourself
with maybe the nursing staffLike oh, I actually already
talked to the provider about it,they're comfortable with me
eating in this early stage andeating regular meals at regular
times can really help to createa normal pace and kind of keep
(28:32):
us less in this clinical patientmode and more in like our
normal life.
So I feel like I'm rambling now, but you know, stopping to get
regular meals at regular times Ithink can so much make those
first 12 hours or so of thatinduction process just feel so
much more manageable and lessclinical.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I love that and pacing like you're.
If you're doing that, you'regoing to have three, four or so
hours between those meal events,something you can anticipate,
look forward to, as you aresitting there for 12, 24 or more
hours for sure.
So, emily, one more thing, Ithink, before you wrap it up.
I know you've seen this a lot.
I've seen a lot.
We're in a situation wherewe're in a long, slow burn of an
(29:19):
induction because we're beingpatient, letting the body, and
it takes time right.
A cervix that's not quite readyis going to take a lot of time
for most people to coax it open,for soften it, so we can open
it.
Family members right, so thiscould be a partner, supportive
family members.
They may have in their mind adifferent picture.
(29:39):
I see so often people arewaiting in the waiting room,
anxiously, right, like we have anumber of people out there, or
calling, texting, like is thatbaby here yet?
What's taken so long?
Why are you still pregnant?
Why don't they just hurry it upor do a c-section?
Um, how can we prepare thosearound us, those supporting us
with the best of intentions, um,so that they are not pestering
(30:03):
and they're not pushing, so thatthey, they also need to
understand what to expect.
Um, because it could be one day, two days.
I've seen a lot of situationswhere we have loving family
members waiting in the waitingroom.
By the time we get to a baby,they're hangry, they need a
shower, they're grumpy, theycan't wait to get out of there
and here's the baby.
So talk to us about that alittle bit.
Speaker 3 (30:24):
Absolutely so.
I think induction or laboringat home with more of a
spontaneous type of labor, Ithink, pacing your support.
So if you have a doula on board, if you have nursing staff
supporting you, their job islabor support right, and that's
(30:46):
what they specialize in.
When the baby's born, yourdoula heads home.
And now you have recently givenbirth and you have a newborn
baby to take care of, yourno-transcript, a well-meaning
grandma, a loving aunt, a sisterthat's a great time for them to
(31:08):
step in and help and support.
And they're not going to be ina good mental or physical place
to do that if they haven't sleptfor two nights.
Right.
And so having you know you arethe expert in you and your
family.
Some people don't let anybodyknow they're in the hospital.
Some people have no interest insupport there.
(31:30):
Some people are happy just toupdate family once the baby is
there.
I think that's a great strategy.
I think that works well forsome people.
Some people want that love andsupport, some people want that
community, and so I thinkgetting realistic ideas about
the process from your childbirtheducator, your doula, your
(31:51):
provider, and then sharing thoseand actually sharing the time
of those, like based on howthey're inducing my labor.
It could be a couple of daysuntil the baby is here.
I would love you guys to comebring us dinner and visit for a
few minutes and then go home andsleep.
We'll check in with youtomorrow.
We don't expect anything'sgoing to happen overnight and it
(32:12):
will be a second night too, youknow so that grandma and aunt
and well-meaning family are not,like you said, sitting in the
waiting room for 12 hours or 24hours or more.
I think that can be helpful.
24 hours or more, I think thatcan be helpful.
Some people find even havingtheir partner sleeping or away
(32:33):
from them less realistic in ahospital setting.
But I've had some people evenwant the partner to be sleeping,
you know, for some parts ofthis, so that they can be
mentally, physically well tosupport whoever's given birth
and their new baby.
You know, just personally, forme, you know, my water broke in
(32:53):
the middle of the night with mysecond baby.
I didn't wake my husband up.
Of course, if I started goinginto labor I would have, but I
didn't.
He didn't need to miss sleepwhile I knew that nothing was
likely to be happening for a fewhours.
I wanted him to be well restedso that by the second night when
I was in labor he was likementally and physically well
(33:13):
enough to be a good support tome to make decisions if
decisions needed to be made.
So some people find that reallylaboring by themselves in this
early phase is more helpful andof course, again, the person
giving birth is the expert inthem.
But you know, some people aremore social birthers.
(33:34):
They want.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
They want to be surrounded by people.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Want to be surrounded and we love that and we love
that.
Some people are much more, youknow, kind of crawl in a dark
cave and labor by themselves andI think people sometimes don't
know that that's even an optionand, you know, in a clinical
setting, in a hospital, lessrealistic in some ways, but
there's still a way to do that.
Some people don't want to bewatched, some people don't want
(34:02):
to be talked to and touched andsurrounded, especially in those
earlier phases.
Some people just kind of wantto cocoon up.
You know, one of the mostfunctional labors I've ever seen
was a home birth and the womanwould come out and say, you know
, go check on the baby.
And the midwife would listenfor a minute and check in on her
(34:23):
and she's like okay, I'm goingto go back to my room now.
She's like, I just like it.
It's dark and it's quiet inthere.
And she's like, and I am justcrawling around on the floor
because it feels so good and Ijust don't want everybody to
watch me do that, I just want todo my thing.
And we said, of course, so shewould go do her thing.
And then, you know, she'd popout 20 minutes later.
(34:44):
Some people really just want tokind of get in the zone and
focus and listen to theirinstincts, without feeling like
they need to put on aperformance or a show, without
feeling like they need to host abirth.
You know, if you've got aunt,you know Eileen and grandma
Kathy there and you feel likeyou have to kind of put on a
performance for them.
(35:05):
You want to host them, you wantthem to feel comfortable and
involved in the process.
That's taking you out of thatprimal part of your brain that
kind of needs to quiet down andlisten to itself.
And so I think you knowvisiting with yourself about the
(35:25):
kind of person you are beforeyou're in labor and what you're
likely going to want or notagain, I think is a good
strategy, you know topotentially decide how you want
to handle visitors supportthroughout that process.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
I love that and also being flexible, like knowing
what you think you know aboutyourself or what you've prepared
may change during labor.
You can always change your mindon who's with you or who's
there Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Emily, you have given us some great things to think
about.
Hopefully folks have realisticexpectations.
This can help them realize thatearly labor is long and slow
sometimes and what this gives ussome good things, of what we
can do during that time so thatwe are most comfortable, both
emotionally, mentally,physically.
And that our support I lovethat phrase, pacing your support
(36:19):
, whether that's near support,far support, helping them have
realistic expectations, emily,any last words, any parting
thoughts before we wrap it uptoday.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Put down the contraction timing app.
I love it, you know.
Keep the lights low, getsomething to eat, move and rest.
You're not going to miss labor.
I promise the baby's not goingto climb out while you're
sleeping.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
Love that.
Cool, Cool, cool.
Emily, thank you so much forbeing with us here today.
We sure appreciate your time,your expertise and what you have
shared.
So we're going to wrap it upfor the Ordinary Duel podcast.
Again, this is Angie Rose, yourhost.
Thanks so much for being withus.
Hopefully you can go out today,connect with someone near or
far, let someone know thatyou're thinking of them, you
(37:09):
support them, and wait for thathuman connection to come back to
you.
It always will.
Hope you have a good one and wewill see you next time.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Thank you for listening to the Ordinary Doula
podcast with Angie Rozier,hosted by Birth Learning.
Episode credits will be in theshow notes Tune in next time as
we continue to explore the manyaspects of giving birth.
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