April 18, 2025 • 16 mins
Partners can provide deep and meaningful support during pregnancy, labor, and birth by developing specific skills beyond vague advice to "just be supportive."
• Learn together through childbirth classes, videos, books, or apps to build knowledge and realistic expectations
• Discover what birth goals are important to your pregnant partner, even if they differ from what you would choose
• Prepare concrete comfort measures and tools so you never feel helpless during labor
• Be prepared for preferences to change quickly during labor and adapt accordingly
• Serve as an advocate by attending appointments and asking questions when things aren't clear
• Remain fully present both physically and emotionally—avoid distractions like phones
• Consider hiring a doula who can help you be a better support person and give you breaks when needed
• Understand that being supportive doesn't mean fixing everything—labor is challenging by nature
• Remember your partner's experience of you during birth will impact your relationship as new parents
Please reach out and make a human connection today, whether in person through touch or eye contact, or to someone online—it might make a world of difference to them and will help you too.
Visit our website, here: https://birthlearning.com/
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Show Credits
Host: Angie Rosier
Music: Michael Hicks
Photographer: Toni Walker
Episode Artwork: Nick Greenwood
Producer: Gillian Rosier Frampton
Voiceover: Ryan Parker
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Ordinary Doula Podcast with
Angie Rozier, hosted by BirthLearning, where we help prepare
folks for labor and birth withexpertise coming from 20 years
of experience in a busy doulapractice Helping thousands of
people prepare for laborProviding essential knowledge
(00:41):
and tools for positive andempowering birth experiences.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Ordinary
Doula podcast.
My name is Angie Rozier, I'myour host and I am glad to be
with you here today.
Today we are going to dive intowhat meaningful support could
look like from partners duringpregnancy, labor and birth
(01:07):
during pregnancy, labor andbirth.
So maybe you are an expectingpartner or maybe you're a
pregnant woman and you want tosend a not so subtle hint to
your partner that you wantsupport from them.
So this one's for you.
This episode is for you.
So we want to kind of getthrough the quote unquote just
be supportive and give someactual specific techniques and
tips and advice on how to quoteunquote just be supportive.
(01:30):
So we're going to chat about afew things.
Give you some practical toolsthat will help you to be like a
hero that day.
We want you to come out lookinglike a hero.
We want your partner to feelcompletely supported during her
labor and birth and we want youto be a big part of that.
So here's a few actual waysthat partners can step up, can
tune in and be the rock thattheir loved ones need, be that
(01:53):
help and be that support thatthey're looking for.
So I'll tell you, havingsupported thousands and
thousands of people through thelabor process, when I go into a
birth, I don't always know whatI'm going to do either.
Honestly, like you kind of gotto leave this open, open to
whatever the situation yieldsitself to.
Sometimes I go in with oneexpectation.
(02:14):
Having spent time with myclients, I'm like all right,
this dad is going to be superawesome, he's going to be you
know, we're going to be a greatteam.
And we get there and he's likechecked out, or he's super
scared or whatever.
Or I go in, maybe our, duringour prenatal appointments, the
dad wasn't very checked in, hewasn't very tuned in, and then
he, it turns out he's anincredible rock for her.
(02:37):
Like he's, uh, an incrediblesupport.
Like there's no right or wrongway to do this.
So I want you to get that outof your mind right now, that, um
, there's a right and wrong wayto do this.
So I want you to get that outof your mind right now, that
there's a right and wrong way todo this.
The right way is you're goingto find out what that is.
For each situation it'sdifferent.
So some mindsets that we cankind of shift early in a
pregnancy situation is todiscover, discover how to be the
(03:01):
best support to your pregnantpartner, your wife, your
girlfriend, during pregnancy,during labor, during birth.
And this doesn't mean like tojust fix everything right.
A lot of partners like, oh, notcomfortable with her and in
pain, I don't like to see her inpain.
Well, that's great and I'm gladthere's.
Hopefully you don't like to seethe her in pain, right?
(03:22):
That?
That kind of concerned me.
If there were partners like um,that that weren't uncomfortable
with that.
But that's really common.
Like you know what, I'll doanything to just avoid watching
her be in pain.
So, figuring out what'simportant to her, what her birth
goals are, um, they might notbe yours, right?
You're not the pregnant one.
If you were, you might makedifferent choices.
(03:43):
Um, they might not be yours,right, you're not the pregnant
one.
If you were, you might makedifferent choices.
For instance, if your wife,girlfriend, you know, pregnant
partner says I don't want anepidural, and you're like, why
not?
That's crazy.
Like that's a quick, easy fix.
Why would you not want that?
Um come to just that mind shiftof supporting what it is she
wants she may not know.
(04:10):
Help her discover what it isshe wants.
We're going to talk about someways to do that.
But, yeah, just embrace earlyon, support what she wants, even
if it's not what you wouldchoose.
Right.
And it's not that we can fixeverything.
It can be a very difficultplace to be a partner and feel
helpless.
Be prepared that you're goingto feel helpless through this
situation.
You can't fix it all, I can'tfix it all.
Your OB, your midwife, likeyour anesthesiologist they can't
quote, unquote fix it all, butthey can be supportive and you
(04:33):
can be incredibly supportive.
And we're going to talk about afew things that give us
practical hands on ways to helpduring labor.
Right, so also knowing what toexpect emotionally, you know
everyone's gonna be goingthrough some pretty high
emotions and then we layerfatigue onto that sometimes.
Sometimes labor starts atbedtime or sometimes labor goes
through a night or two nightsand many people aren't getting
(04:56):
much sleep through that.
So, kind of, like you know, beprepared to kind of buckle down
and have this, uh, this prettyepic experience together.
So here are four things thatpartners can do to give
meaningful help during the labor, the birth and labor process
and that begins long beforelabor and birth actually.
(05:16):
So the first one, number one islearn together.
Maybe you guys take a classtogether, maybe you watch some
online videos together, watchbirth videos together, kind of
learn what to expect.
Get some dialogue going, like,oh, wow, did you know it could
be like that, did you hear howthat sounded or how that looked?
Or wow, did you, you know?
Just have a dialogue betweenthe two of you to get some
(05:39):
expectations that are going tobe realistic for your situation.
Maybe you read a book together,maybe you have the same apps
and you're going to havediscussions around these things.
But learn together.
Perhaps you go to someappointments.
If you're able to go to some ofthe doctor's appointments, the
midwife appointments are goingto have.
You know you have 10 to 13 ofthose throughout the whole
pregnancy.
If you can go to some of those,that's going to be important as
(06:01):
well.
But learn together and thensupport what it is she wants
through her, or even think shewants right, the direction she
wants to go with her labor andbirth process.
Number two the second one is,as you learn together, prepare
some tools.
Prepare some real life,concrete tools that you can use
(06:23):
so that you don't feel helpless,so that you can lean on those
tools as you help her.
So if I'm just going to use acute little analogy of building
a shed, right, if you wanted tobuild a shed this spring, what
would you do?
Maybe you've built sheds before, maybe you never have, maybe
you've never built anything inyour life, but you can build a
shed.
So you need some plans.
Even if you know what you'redoing, you need some plans.
(06:44):
You're going to need to gathersome tools and supplies.
Plan for this day or two orthree days, however long it's
going to take you to build thisshed, knowing it's a process,
knowing it's a project.
You want to get everythinglined up.
Labor and birth is the same way.
Maybe you haven't done itbefore, maybe you don't know how
to do it.
Do some research, gather yourtools, plan you know we don't
(07:10):
know the exact day, but planyou're having a baby in the
spring or whatever plan, toquote unquote build your shed
and so that you can go into it,knowing kind of what to do, do
some research, right?
So some of the tools that youcan use are going to be some
hands on comfort measures.
Learn some of those hands oncomfort measures, some for some
people that will become verynatural.
Some women like a lot of touchand comfort during labor.
Some don't Be prepared for that.
(07:35):
Be prepared for her reactionsand preferences to change on a
dime during the labor process.
That can be pretty common.
Be prepared of what labor lookslike, what it sounds like, and
as you get some tools and cometo be able to support whatever
it is your partner wants, thenthat helps you feel less
helpless and be able to supportwhat's important to them.
I have had situations where thepregnant client does not want an
(07:58):
epidural.
The partner says why, why not?
That's hard for them to support.
I've had just the opposite,where the client wants an
epidural and the partner supportwhy, why not?
That's hard for them to support.
I've had they're just theopposite, where the client wants
an epidural and the partnersupport.
Person is like why, well, let's, how about we don't get an
epidural?
Um, just buy into what shewants, and maybe what she wants
it evolves and developsthroughout the learning process.
(08:18):
That is extremely common, okay.
So number two prepare sometools, have some things like all
right, here's some go tos,here's some things I know that
I'm going to do.
I know that she likes becausewe've talked about them together
.
Number three is to be anadvocate and ask the questions.
So that includes going to.
Maybe it starts by going tothose appointments during
(08:40):
pregnancy.
There's a lot more towards theend of pregnancy.
Start going to those or see ifyou can hit a couple of those.
If you don't understandsomething, ask the questions If
they're.
You know your partner forgotabout a question, make sure that
you ask it.
Be engaged, be fully presentand be engaged during the labor
process.
If there's something you don'tunderstand, ask the questions.
(09:01):
Ask you know.
How's this going to benefit us?
Why would we want to do this?
Why would we not want to dothis?
So you're going to a lot oftimes.
Be talking with your nurse, askthe questions to your nurse, to
your doctor.
If there's an anesthesiologistinvolved, if you have a doula,
make sure you are an advocateand ask the questions.
When you go into this situationunderstanding, knowing and
(09:23):
buying into what your partnerwants you can be supportive and
ask those questions and kind ofbe her voice at a time when she
might be quite busy.
So being an advocate is veryimportant.
I've seen that done beautifullyby many dads who are don't do
this every day right Like thisis not your.
This.
You know labor support isprobably not what you have done
(09:45):
a lot in your life, but you knowyour partner and you've learned
together, you've preparedtogether and you can be a great
advocate for her.
And then number four, probablymy favorite one, is simply be
present, like be completelypresent in every way.
You're going to be physicallypresent, hopefully right, but
there's more to being presentthan just being in the room.
(10:06):
So be tuned in to what yourpartner wants, what they need,
check in with them often.
Don't be distracted by thingson your phone.
I have had dads literally saythis is kind of boring.
When is this going to be over?
Some dads like the hardest partis being patient, because we
know early labor, sometimeslater labor, can take a while,
(10:30):
it can be a long time.
So be fully present andsupportive while you're being
present.
Sometimes there's doing a lot.
There's a lot of texting goingon between family members and
friends and the partners, thatliaison between everyone and
what's going on in labor andbirth.
And maybe your plan is, youknow what, we're going to not
give an update for a couple ofhours so that you can be more
(10:52):
fully present.
I have had moms in labor say,put your phone down.
Just put your phone down, um,because they're feeling
neglected.
They're feeling like you have apretty good distraction when
you're focused on your phone.
Some partners want to just laydown on that couch and sleep for
a real long time.
I get that, I really do.
But if you're getting a goodeight hours of sleep while she's
(11:13):
in labor, there might be, youknow, something kind of wrong
with that.
So check in.
You know it is important to takecare of yourself and I always
say, like you know, the wholepoint of this podcast is for
people to have positive birthexperiences.
You know your situation, youknow the dynamics with which
you're working, but set thingsup so that you will have success
(11:34):
within that situation,regardless of what happens
during labor, and look atgetting labor support.
Look at hiring a doula or anydoula programs in your area.
A doula will help facilitateyour role through this process
and can help and can be presentand help you be present in the
best ways if you need that or ifyou do need a nap, right, if
you do need to go grab lunch.
You got to take care ofyourself too.
(11:55):
I also see a lot of partnerslike just muscle through and
they're gonna like sacrifice andeverything, like their, their
meals, and you know they'rethey're they're starving,
they're exhausted and we needthat partner to you know we need
that dad to be around when thatbaby comes to, so sometimes
pacing yourself and, and youknow your nurse, your doula, can
(12:18):
help.
You know when to take care ofyourself, when to go grab lunch
or grab a nap or just to walkoutside.
So hopefully you know, aspartners like, buy in, be
supportive.
You know, hopefully, aspartners have that mindset of
support and what that means foryour particular situation.
(12:39):
Knowing you can't fixeverything right, knowing that
you don't, you're not going tobe an expert on everything, but
you can ask the questions andreach out to the resources that
you have.
A great book is called theBirth Partner by Penny Simpkin
and it's actually a great bookfor not just partners but for
everyone.
That's a really good resourceas well and it can give you some
(13:00):
really great hands-on copingtechniques.
But B make sure that you areone of the comfort majors.
You can be a comfort major justby being present.
That's going to be a huge toolto so many of our people.
Having babies is to have anawesomely supportive partner,
because that's who stays right,that's who gets to go home with
(13:20):
you and see this whole processthrough.
Everybody else kind of fadesaway shortly after um and the
nurse, the doctor, the doulathey're gone within minutes to
hours of that baby being bornand you're back to the two or
three of you at that point, um.
So make sure that you can bethat appropriate supportive
person, because you are the bestperson to do that.
Honestly, I've seen incrediblesupport from partners, but a lot
(13:44):
of them just want to know whatto do, like how can they help.
So that requires some upfrontpreparation.
Again, the four things arelearned together.
Number one learn together asyou, as this is leading up to
the labor and birth experience.
Number two prepare some toolsso that you go into this having
some things you know that youcan do.
These might be concretephysical tools, they might be
(14:04):
hands-on massage techniques, itmight be movement involved.
Number three be an advocate andask the questions.
Advocate for this person thatyou love as they're in this
process.
And number four be present inevery way and hopefully, with
those few tips, you're going tobe able to be an amazing support
person during the labor andbirth process.
I wish you the very best.
(14:25):
One of my favorite thingsthroughout my dealer career is
supporting dads Like they arehaving an experience to.
Not a lot of people focus onthat hospital.
The team is super not focusedon what the dad's experience is
like.
He gets to cut the cord, maybethere's a place for him to lay
down, but he's having anemotional, physical experience
as well, and when we can unitethose two things kind of tie
(14:48):
them together.
Hopefully we can come out witha very empowered relationship,
that you guys are more impressedwith each other than you've
ever been, that you canstrengthen your relationship as
you go into the journey of beingparents together.
I wish you the very best.
Hopefully your labor and birthgoes well and that you're going
(15:08):
to be an awesome rock star of asupport person to be able to
help throughout that process.
Thank you so much for beingwith me here today on the
Ordinary Doula podcast and, asalways, please reach out and
make a human connection, whetherthat's in person, by touch by
eye, contact someone online youreach out to.
Please make an awesome humanconnection to someone today.
It might mean the world ofdifference to them and it will
(15:30):
help you out too.
Thanks for being here, andwe'll see you next time.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Thank you for listening to the Ordinary Doula
podcast with Angie Rozier,hosted by Birth Learning.
Episode credits will be in theshow notes Tune in next time as
we continue to explore the manyaspects of giving birth.
Welcome to the Ordinary Doula Podcast with
Angie Rozier, hosted by BirthLearning, where we help prepare
folks for labor and birth withexpertise coming from 20 years
of experience in a busy doulapractice Helping thousands of
people prepare for laborProviding essential knowledge
(00:41):
and tools for positive andempowering birth experiences.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Hello and welcome to this episode of the Ordinary
Doula podcast.
My name is Angie Rozier, I'myour host and I am glad to be
with you here today.
Today we are going to dive intowhat meaningful support could
look like from partners duringpregnancy, labor and birth
(01:07):
during pregnancy, labor andbirth.
So maybe you are an expectingpartner or maybe you're a
pregnant woman and you want tosend a not so subtle hint to
your partner that you wantsupport from them.
So this one's for you.
This episode is for you.
So we want to kind of getthrough the quote unquote just
be supportive and give someactual specific techniques and
tips and advice on how to quoteunquote just be supportive.
(01:30):
So we're going to chat about afew things.
Give you some practical toolsthat will help you to be like a
hero that day.
We want you to come out lookinglike a hero.
We want your partner to feelcompletely supported during her
labor and birth and we want youto be a big part of that.
So here's a few actual waysthat partners can step up, can
tune in and be the rock thattheir loved ones need, be that
(01:53):
help and be that support thatthey're looking for.
So I'll tell you, havingsupported thousands and
thousands of people through thelabor process, when I go into a
birth, I don't always know whatI'm going to do either.
Honestly, like you kind of gotto leave this open, open to
whatever the situation yieldsitself to.
Sometimes I go in with oneexpectation.
(02:14):
Having spent time with myclients, I'm like all right,
this dad is going to be superawesome, he's going to be you
know, we're going to be a greatteam.
And we get there and he's likechecked out, or he's super
scared or whatever.
Or I go in, maybe our, duringour prenatal appointments, the
dad wasn't very checked in, hewasn't very tuned in, and then
he, it turns out he's anincredible rock for her.
(02:37):
Like he's, uh, an incrediblesupport.
Like there's no right or wrongway to do this.
So I want you to get that outof your mind right now, that, um
, there's a right and wrong wayto do this.
So I want you to get that outof your mind right now, that
there's a right and wrong way todo this.
The right way is you're goingto find out what that is.
For each situation it'sdifferent.
So some mindsets that we cankind of shift early in a
pregnancy situation is todiscover, discover how to be the
(03:01):
best support to your pregnantpartner, your wife, your
girlfriend, during pregnancy,during labor, during birth.
And this doesn't mean like tojust fix everything right.
A lot of partners like, oh, notcomfortable with her and in
pain, I don't like to see her inpain.
Well, that's great and I'm gladthere's.
Hopefully you don't like to seethe her in pain, right?
(03:22):
That?
That kind of concerned me.
If there were partners like um,that that weren't uncomfortable
with that.
But that's really common.
Like you know what, I'll doanything to just avoid watching
her be in pain.
So, figuring out what'simportant to her, what her birth
goals are, um, they might notbe yours, right?
You're not the pregnant one.
If you were, you might makedifferent choices.
(03:43):
Um, they might not be yours,right, you're not the pregnant
one.
If you were, you might makedifferent choices.
For instance, if your wife,girlfriend, you know, pregnant
partner says I don't want anepidural, and you're like, why
not?
That's crazy.
Like that's a quick, easy fix.
Why would you not want that?
Um come to just that mind shiftof supporting what it is she
wants she may not know.
(04:10):
Help her discover what it isshe wants.
We're going to talk about someways to do that.
But, yeah, just embrace earlyon, support what she wants, even
if it's not what you wouldchoose.
Right.
And it's not that we can fixeverything.
It can be a very difficultplace to be a partner and feel
helpless.
Be prepared that you're goingto feel helpless through this
situation.
You can't fix it all, I can'tfix it all.
Your OB, your midwife, likeyour anesthesiologist they can't
quote, unquote fix it all, butthey can be supportive and you
(04:33):
can be incredibly supportive.
And we're going to talk about afew things that give us
practical hands on ways to helpduring labor.
Right, so also knowing what toexpect emotionally, you know
everyone's gonna be goingthrough some pretty high
emotions and then we layerfatigue onto that sometimes.
Sometimes labor starts atbedtime or sometimes labor goes
through a night or two nightsand many people aren't getting
(04:56):
much sleep through that.
So, kind of, like you know, beprepared to kind of buckle down
and have this, uh, this prettyepic experience together.
So here are four things thatpartners can do to give
meaningful help during the labor, the birth and labor process
and that begins long beforelabor and birth actually.
(05:16):
So the first one, number one islearn together.
Maybe you guys take a classtogether, maybe you watch some
online videos together, watchbirth videos together, kind of
learn what to expect.
Get some dialogue going, like,oh, wow, did you know it could
be like that, did you hear howthat sounded or how that looked?
Or wow, did you, you know?
Just have a dialogue betweenthe two of you to get some
(05:39):
expectations that are going tobe realistic for your situation.
Maybe you read a book together,maybe you have the same apps
and you're going to havediscussions around these things.
But learn together.
Perhaps you go to someappointments.
If you're able to go to some ofthe doctor's appointments, the
midwife appointments are goingto have.
You know you have 10 to 13 ofthose throughout the whole
pregnancy.
If you can go to some of those,that's going to be important as
(06:01):
well.
But learn together and thensupport what it is she wants
through her, or even think shewants right, the direction she
wants to go with her labor andbirth process.
Number two the second one is,as you learn together, prepare
some tools.
Prepare some real life,concrete tools that you can use
(06:23):
so that you don't feel helpless,so that you can lean on those
tools as you help her.
So if I'm just going to use acute little analogy of building
a shed, right, if you wanted tobuild a shed this spring, what
would you do?
Maybe you've built sheds before, maybe you never have, maybe
you've never built anything inyour life, but you can build a
shed.
So you need some plans.
Even if you know what you'redoing, you need some plans.
(06:44):
You're going to need to gathersome tools and supplies.
Plan for this day or two orthree days, however long it's
going to take you to build thisshed, knowing it's a process,
knowing it's a project.
You want to get everythinglined up.
Labor and birth is the same way.
Maybe you haven't done itbefore, maybe you don't know how
to do it.
Do some research, gather yourtools, plan you know we don't
(07:10):
know the exact day, but planyou're having a baby in the
spring or whatever plan, toquote unquote build your shed
and so that you can go into it,knowing kind of what to do, do
some research, right?
So some of the tools that youcan use are going to be some
hands on comfort measures.
Learn some of those hands oncomfort measures, some for some
people that will become verynatural.
Some women like a lot of touchand comfort during labor.
Some don't Be prepared for that.
(07:35):
Be prepared for her reactionsand preferences to change on a
dime during the labor process.
That can be pretty common.
Be prepared of what labor lookslike, what it sounds like, and
as you get some tools and cometo be able to support whatever
it is your partner wants, thenthat helps you feel less
helpless and be able to supportwhat's important to them.
I have had situations where thepregnant client does not want an
(07:58):
epidural.
The partner says why, why not?
That's hard for them to support.
I've had just the opposite,where the client wants an
epidural and the partner supportwhy, why not?
That's hard for them to support.
I've had they're just theopposite, where the client wants
an epidural and the partnersupport.
Person is like why, well, let's, how about we don't get an
epidural?
Um, just buy into what shewants, and maybe what she wants
it evolves and developsthroughout the learning process.
(08:18):
That is extremely common, okay.
So number two prepare sometools, have some things like all
right, here's some go tos,here's some things I know that
I'm going to do.
I know that she likes becausewe've talked about them together
.
Number three is to be anadvocate and ask the questions.
So that includes going to.
Maybe it starts by going tothose appointments during
(08:40):
pregnancy.
There's a lot more towards theend of pregnancy.
Start going to those or see ifyou can hit a couple of those.
If you don't understandsomething, ask the questions If
they're.
You know your partner forgotabout a question, make sure that
you ask it.
Be engaged, be fully presentand be engaged during the labor
process.
If there's something you don'tunderstand, ask the questions.
(09:01):
Ask you know.
How's this going to benefit us?
Why would we want to do this?
Why would we not want to dothis?
So you're going to a lot oftimes.
Be talking with your nurse, askthe questions to your nurse, to
your doctor.
If there's an anesthesiologistinvolved, if you have a doula,
make sure you are an advocateand ask the questions.
When you go into this situationunderstanding, knowing and
(09:23):
buying into what your partnerwants you can be supportive and
ask those questions and kind ofbe her voice at a time when she
might be quite busy.
So being an advocate is veryimportant.
I've seen that done beautifullyby many dads who are don't do
this every day right Like thisis not your.
This.
You know labor support isprobably not what you have done
(09:45):
a lot in your life, but you knowyour partner and you've learned
together, you've preparedtogether and you can be a great
advocate for her.
And then number four, probablymy favorite one, is simply be
present, like be completelypresent in every way.
You're going to be physicallypresent, hopefully right, but
there's more to being presentthan just being in the room.
(10:06):
So be tuned in to what yourpartner wants, what they need,
check in with them often.
Don't be distracted by thingson your phone.
I have had dads literally saythis is kind of boring.
When is this going to be over?
Some dads like the hardest partis being patient, because we
know early labor, sometimeslater labor, can take a while,
(10:30):
it can be a long time.
So be fully present andsupportive while you're being
present.
Sometimes there's doing a lot.
There's a lot of texting goingon between family members and
friends and the partners, thatliaison between everyone and
what's going on in labor andbirth.
And maybe your plan is, youknow what, we're going to not
give an update for a couple ofhours so that you can be more
(10:52):
fully present.
I have had moms in labor say,put your phone down.
Just put your phone down, um,because they're feeling
neglected.
They're feeling like you have apretty good distraction when
you're focused on your phone.
Some partners want to just laydown on that couch and sleep for
a real long time.
I get that, I really do.
But if you're getting a goodeight hours of sleep while she's
(11:13):
in labor, there might be, youknow, something kind of wrong
with that.
So check in.
You know it is important to takecare of yourself and I always
say, like you know, the wholepoint of this podcast is for
people to have positive birthexperiences.
You know your situation, youknow the dynamics with which
you're working, but set thingsup so that you will have success
(11:34):
within that situation,regardless of what happens
during labor, and look atgetting labor support.
Look at hiring a doula or anydoula programs in your area.
A doula will help facilitateyour role through this process
and can help and can be presentand help you be present in the
best ways if you need that or ifyou do need a nap, right, if
you do need to go grab lunch.
You got to take care ofyourself too.
(11:55):
I also see a lot of partnerslike just muscle through and
they're gonna like sacrifice andeverything, like their, their
meals, and you know they'rethey're they're starving,
they're exhausted and we needthat partner to you know we need
that dad to be around when thatbaby comes to, so sometimes
pacing yourself and, and youknow your nurse, your doula, can
(12:18):
help.
You know when to take care ofyourself, when to go grab lunch
or grab a nap or just to walkoutside.
So hopefully you know, aspartners like, buy in, be
supportive.
You know, hopefully, aspartners have that mindset of
support and what that means foryour particular situation.
(12:39):
Knowing you can't fixeverything right, knowing that
you don't, you're not going tobe an expert on everything, but
you can ask the questions andreach out to the resources that
you have.
A great book is called theBirth Partner by Penny Simpkin
and it's actually a great bookfor not just partners but for
everyone.
That's a really good resourceas well and it can give you some
(13:00):
really great hands-on copingtechniques.
But B make sure that you areone of the comfort majors.
You can be a comfort major justby being present.
That's going to be a huge toolto so many of our people.
Having babies is to have anawesomely supportive partner,
because that's who stays right,that's who gets to go home with
(13:20):
you and see this whole processthrough.
Everybody else kind of fadesaway shortly after um and the
nurse, the doctor, the doulathey're gone within minutes to
hours of that baby being bornand you're back to the two or
three of you at that point, um.
So make sure that you can bethat appropriate supportive
person, because you are the bestperson to do that.
Honestly, I've seen incrediblesupport from partners, but a lot
(13:44):
of them just want to know whatto do, like how can they help.
So that requires some upfrontpreparation.
Again, the four things arelearned together.
Number one learn together asyou, as this is leading up to
the labor and birth experience.
Number two prepare some toolsso that you go into this having
some things you know that youcan do.
These might be concretephysical tools, they might be
(14:04):
hands-on massage techniques, itmight be movement involved.
Number three be an advocate andask the questions.
Advocate for this person thatyou love as they're in this
process.
And number four be present inevery way and hopefully, with
those few tips, you're going tobe able to be an amazing support
person during the labor andbirth process.
I wish you the very best.
(14:25):
One of my favorite thingsthroughout my dealer career is
supporting dads Like they arehaving an experience to.
Not a lot of people focus onthat hospital.
The team is super not focusedon what the dad's experience is
like.
He gets to cut the cord, maybethere's a place for him to lay
down, but he's having anemotional, physical experience
as well, and when we can unitethose two things kind of tie
(14:48):
them together.
Hopefully we can come out witha very empowered relationship,
that you guys are more impressedwith each other than you've
ever been, that you canstrengthen your relationship as
you go into the journey of beingparents together.
I wish you the very best.
Hopefully your labor and birthgoes well and that you're going
(15:08):
to be an awesome rock star of asupport person to be able to
help throughout that process.
Thank you so much for beingwith me here today on the
Ordinary Doula podcast and, asalways, please reach out and
make a human connection, whetherthat's in person, by touch by
eye, contact someone online youreach out to.
Please make an awesome humanconnection to someone today.
It might mean the world ofdifference to them and it will
(15:30):
help you out too.
Thanks for being here, andwe'll see you next time.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Thank you for listening to the Ordinary Doula
podcast with Angie Rozier,hosted by Birth Learning.
Episode credits will be in theshow notes Tune in next time as
we continue to explore the manyaspects of giving birth.
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