Falling for the Okey Doke: Things Men Tell You To Get Their Way

Using the phrase "We're Grown" to Manipulate You

Welcome to “The Purple Kool-Aid Podcast,” hosted by Lois Lane Miami! After a busy few weeks, I’m back to share some insights and thoughts I’ve been eager to discuss. Today’s episode focuses on the concept of “falling for the okey-doke,” exploring the tactics men use to manipulate women, and more.

For those unfamiliar, my upcoming book “Falling for the Okey Doke” delves deep into the various ways both men and women can be tricked in relationships, workplaces, and other aspects of life. In previous episodes, I’ve covered how employers might manipulate you into doing more than your job description or how partners can deceive each other. This episode will highlight what people want you to believe versus what’s really going on, particularly focusing on the tricks men use to get their way.

One common tactic is men telling women they have “the best sex they’ve ever had.” This flattery is often used to ensure they get more opportunities to be with you, playing on your need for validation. Remember, as long as they are satisfied, the specifics often don’t matter as much to them. They might say it to make you feel special, but it’s usually a manipulation tactic.

Another common phrase is “we’re grown,” used to justify or excuse behavior that should otherwise be questioned. This statement is meant to make you feel like you shouldn’t complain or question their actions, as it’s something adults should supposedly accept. However, accepting mistreatment is never part of being an adult.

Additionally, men often say, “women can’t do what men do,” usually to justify their own disrespectful behavior while discouraging you from responding in kind. This phrase is used to maintain a double standard, implying that women are less worthy of autonomy and respect.

Women, too, sometimes fall into these traps by telling themselves they can use men just for sex, often as a way to cope with emotional hurt. However, there is usually more to it than just physical needs; it’s often about seeking affection or validation.

In summary, recognize these manipulation tactics and don’t fall for them. Instead, value yourself beyond the compliments and deceptive flattery. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you need to accept less than you deserve.

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