October 24, 2025 • 42 mins
In this episode of The Sober Butterfly, host Nadine Mulvina returns with full energy and fresh perspective after her “silent girl summer.” She opens up about how she’s ending 2025 with intention by taking on the 75 Hard Challenge — a mental toughness program designed to build discipline, confidence, and consistency.
Nadine shares how she’s not doing 75 Hard to lose weight but rather to reset her mind and body after struggling with burnout and sugar cravings. She dives into her relationship with sugar after sobriety, explaining how alcohol metabolizes into sugar and why many sober people turn to sweets after quitting drinking.
Throughout the episode, Nadine breaks down each of the 75 Hard rules, explains how she’s modifying the challenge to fit her sober lifestyle, and opens up about her personal “why” — preventing diabetes, improving her mental health, and proving to herself that she can do hard things.
Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, or simply craving a lifestyle reset, this episode will inspire you to finish the year strong with structure, purpose, and self-accountability.
🧠 What You’ll Learn
- What the 75 Hard Challenge is and how to make it work for you
- How sugar addiction often replaces alcohol cravings in sobriety
- The science behind alcohol and sugar metabolism
- How Nadine is following the challenge (no added sugar + gallon of water a day)
- Tips for building discipline, structure, and consistency
- Why ending 2025 with intention can shift your mindset going into the new year
🔗 Resources Mentioned
- 75 Hard Challenge Rules:
- Follow a structured diet (Nadine’s rule: no added sugar)
- Complete two 45-minute workouts per day (one outdoors)
- Drink one gallon of water daily
- Read 10 pages of a non-fiction/self-improvement book
- Take a daily progress photo
- No alcohol, no cheat meals
- Order Mallary’s Book:
➡️ Slip: Life in the Middle of Eating Disorder Recovery
Order here: https://amzn.to/40caUI6 - Episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/es/podcast/slip-eating-disorder-recovery-sobriety-the-middle/id1633341419?i=1000716887674&l=en-GB
- Follow Nadine’s 75 Hard journey on Instagram → @the.soberbutterfly
🦋 Connect with The Sober Butterfly
🎧 Follow the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen
📸 Instagram: @the.soberbutterfly
📬 Contact: hello@thesoberbutterfly.com
💻 Website: thesoberbutterfly.com
Sponsor:
Classpass
https://classpass.com/refer/MQ30HIPH11
exclusive free trial (with 20 bonus credits!)
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services refereed to in this episode.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10 (00:00):
hello there.
Calling all my beautifulbutterflies.
Hi, talking to you.
Welcome to the show, the SoberButterfly.
I'm so happy to be here with youon this beautiful day, whatever
day you're listening to this.
However, the show drops everyFriday.
Early in the morning, whereveryou are in the world, thank you
(00:21):
for being here.
If this is your first time hereand you happen to stumble upon
the sober butterfly, you're inthe right place.
Don't go anywhere.
I'm Nadine, your host.
I'm just your ordinary.
A DHD sober girl.
Okay.
Last week's episode, the Returnof the Super Butterfly.
I shared some pretty big lifeupdates because I took a little
(00:42):
break from podcasting and yeah,I'm back.
I'm back.
Look at me.
I'm consistent.
Two weeks in a row.
I'm still here.
I'm not going anywhere.
so let's just jump into you.
The focus for today?
75.
Hard.
Okay.
I mentioned last week thatSaturday, October 18th
officially launched the final 75days of the year.
(01:05):
Now what does that mean for you?
Maybe it means nothing for me,it means get your shit together.
For me, it means, girl, we onlyhave 75 days to.
Finish the year strong because Istarted the year in the
trenches.
It was ghetto.
(01:25):
I'm not ending on that note.
So Saturday, 75 days left intothe year.
I am rewriting the narrative.
I'm finishing 2025.
Strong.
I'm going to upgrade my lifesignificantly, and the means
that I'm going to achieve thatby is through 75 hard.
(01:46):
So I have to be extreme with allthings I do, and 75 days in my
mind means okay, this is theperfect opportunity to really
focus in.
Now I know what you're thinking.
Okay, Nadine, why are you doingsomething so hard when life is
very hard?
Is life not hard enough foreveryone?
(02:08):
The answer is yes.
Okay.
Life is hard, but I'm harder.
Okay?
Your girl is hard.
I go hard in the paint but youdo raise a fair point.
That is a fair question.
Here's the thing, I want to end2025 with intention instead of
just coasting an autopilot.
(02:28):
I know in sobriety we talk verycandidly and frequently around
the importance of routines andif you went through more
traditional programs like aa,you know.
They talk extensively aroundpeople, places, things, and
creating systems and routines todisrupt what ultimately led you
(02:52):
to drink.
You know, those triggers aroundcertain people, places and
things.
And I always used to add like alittle addendum, routines
included, because so much of myroutine was connected to
drinking, whether that be.
Going specifically to TraderJoe's to pick up bottles of wine
on a Friday immediately afterwork.
(03:12):
Or the ritual of coming homeafter a long day and immediately
cracking open that bottlebecause you know it's 5:00 PM
somewhere and sometimes it'snot.
But that's okay because it's5:00 PM somewhere those routines
really kept me.
Stuck in a feedback loop, acontinuum of craving and
(03:34):
rewarding myself after harddays.
And I thought that alcohol wasthe reward.
This is not uncommon to manypeople.
This is not unique to me orspecial.
These are just things that Irecognized at the time.
But still somehow was in denial.
Now that I don't drink, I cansee very clearly the cycle that
I was stuck in for so long.
(03:55):
So my decision to start 75 hardand just the fact that it
coincided with there being 75days or around 75 days left in
the year when I was thinkingabout doing 75 hard.
I believe in signs.
I was like, oh my God, this isperfect.
I like to be extreme and pushmyself with challenges and you
know, things that are easy don'tseem as like valuable to me.
(04:15):
I'll just be honest.
I'm such a dude in that way.
Like, if I don't have to workfor it, I don't want it.
Like, if anyone can get it I amnot entrusted that's the
masculine energy of being anAries God of war, ruled by Mars,
like we wanna do hard things.
That default is in my DNA andlike by nature, how I move
through the world.
But I also think that there's alot of value in.
(04:38):
Thinking through the systems androutines that you currently have
and questioning or takinginventory as to whether or not
they are serving you.
And I feel that even insobriety, of course, I've picked
up very healthy habits androutines that don't involve
drinking myself into a state ofoblivion.
Most days out of the week.
(05:00):
So like that is positive, but Ialso recognize that I am still
stuck in some feedback loops.
I'm still stuck in certainbehaviors or habits that are no
longer serving future me, thewoman that I intend to become
and also currently am in theprocess of becoming that woman
(05:22):
is not necessarily reflected inmy daily choices or habits.
And so 75 Hard is just a way forme to really figure that piece
out.
And a big part of it comes downto discipline.
So why am I doing 75 hard?
It's not because I necessarilywant to lose weight, although to
keep it real with you guys, likeI always kind of wanna lose a
(05:42):
little weight, even though Iprobably don't need to.
I've actually lost quite a bitof weight in the last year.
Which I'll share, I'll get into
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-2 (05:54):
I'm not on Ozempic or Manjaro or any
of the other.
GLP ones, um, no shade to anyonethat's on those things, but like
I lost the weight on my own.
So I'm not doing this for weightloss and I have a very
complicated history when itcomes to weight and food and
(06:19):
body image which I've shared onthe show.
So I do have to be cognizant ofmy struggles some of my
obsessive tendencies when itcomes to presenting, um, a
certain way or looking a certainway.
So that is something that I haveto be mindful of.
And if this is a trigger foranyone, please take what you
(06:42):
need.
Like this episode is not meantto be triggering.
I'm just going to be sharing howmy 75 hard journey has gone so
far.
But if you know that the idea ofdoing things, but if you know
that being a part.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-23 (06:57):
so before we get into today's
episode, I wanna issue a quicktrigger warning.
In this episode, I'm gonna betalking about body image and
cravings and food choices anddiscipline themes that may be
sensitive for anyone who hasexperienced disordered eating or
eating disorders or bodydysmorphia or any addiction
(07:18):
replacement behaviors.
So if that is you, please takecare of yourself.
You can always pause or skipthis episode if it doesn't feel
like it's the right time,because I always believe that
your healing and safety comesfirst.
Now that that's said, let's getinto it..
So I wanna start with my why.
There are many ways that you canbuild self-discipline, right?
(07:43):
I'm choosing 75 hard becauseI've been struggling so much
with my mental health.
Even though I'm sober and Idon't crave alcohol, and I don't
say that as a brag.
I'm just saying like when I'mstressed, when I'm.
Feeling low.
I'm not thinking, oh my God, adrink would fix this.
Like I, I very much understandthat alcohol is not my friend.
(08:06):
Like we are not cool.
We are enemies, if anything, andI don't fuck with alcohol.
So that's not what I think of.
I don't miss drinking even onhard days.
What I find that I'm doing, likethis current feedback loop that
I'm stuck in is after I have.
Long days or I don't even wannafront, like if I'm being honest,
(08:27):
like it's not even necessarilythat I've had a bad day.
It is just a day, like after aday.
The new routines I found myselfin is I am obsessively eating
sugar or drinking sugar.
I am addicted to sugar.
That white powder.
(08:48):
Yeah, it's got me.
Okay.
I'm chasing the same dopaminehit that I used to get from
drinking
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-23- (08:57):
I realized I'm chasing that same
dopamine hit that I used to getfrom drinking, and I realized.
Alcohol is sugar.
You know, when you drink, yourbody metabolizes alcohol into
acetate, which the liverconverts into glucose, which is
basically sugar.
And then that spikes your bloodsugar and gives you this little
(09:20):
hit of dopamine.
So when you stop drinking, yourbody starts craving other ways
to get that hit.
And for me it was sugar.
It can look differently indifferent people, but as someone
who's always had a, sweet tooth,sugar, became my addiction
replacement, I'll say, and thisis not uncommon to other people.
(09:42):
A lot of people find themselveseating more pastries, more
cookies, you name it.
And so when I quit drinkinginstead of losing weight and
experiencing all of thebeautiful health benefits that
people talk about with glowingskin and they've lost 15 pounds,
I experienced the reverse ofthat because I was stuffing my
face constantly with whatever Icould get my hands on that had
(10:03):
sugar in it.
So in early sobriety, weightgain.
Was actually really triggeringfor me, and I'm so thankful that
I was able to overcome that andreally focus in on the long-term
benefits and not the short termconsequences, I guess I'll say,
for lack of better word rightnow.
So I gave myself.
(10:24):
A chance basically to reallylike stick with my sobriety.
And then with time, I did losethe weight and that was like my
first year of sobriety, right?
So my first year of sobriety, Ilike gained weight and I was
eating a lot more because Iwasn't drinking and trying to
fill that void or replaced thatroutine with food.
(10:46):
Like my routine actually becameafter I quit drinking, I would
go from.
Going to Trader Joe's to getbottles of wine for the weekend
to going to the West Village inNew York.
I would always go to this veganThai place.
It's called Spicy Moon.
Love that place.
(11:07):
And I would order a shit ton oftake takeout, like I'm talking
like almost a hundred dollarsworth of takeout.
Like two types of dumplings andmy Thai iced tea which has so
much caffeine and sugar in it.
And then I go up the street toanother spot that had ice cream
and I'd eat the ice cream on theway to the subway because I was
(11:29):
just craving sugar.
And then I get home and stuff myface with all of thet.
That became my routine.
So like it's no surprise that Igained like 20 pounds.
With time and discipline andjust like the realization that
this was not sustainable.
Um, I did lose weight I wouldsay the second year of my
sobriety, year two, I had moreset routines and I was
(11:51):
challenging the ones that wereunhealthy because I think as a
form of harm reduction, likewhat's having a few excess
calories compared to drinkingyourself into an early grave,
like I really recognized that.
One choice was significantlybetter, even though if long term
it wasn't sustainable, at leastsomething I could sustain
(12:12):
because I'm, you know, soconcerned about how I look in my
image.
I knew I'd lose the weight andI'm also a very active person.
I've always loved to work out,even if I'm eating very
unhealthily, like exercise hasalways come easily to me.
So that piece was already there,and once I slowed down with my
sugar intake, the weightnaturally fell off.
So year two, I did lose all theweight I gained.
(12:35):
Which truly was about like 15,20 pounds up and down, you know,
what is five pounds?
Especially for someone who'sreally tall like me, but yeah, I
lost that weight naturally withtime I had found more of a
stride and my routines were moreset and in place and the weight
just naturally fell off becauseI'm such an active person and
(12:55):
prioritize exercise and workingout, no matter what in fact my
fitness routine is very muchalso integrated into my mental
health.
And then year three in mysobriety, now I drastically
dropped about 30.
Ish pounds.
I don't weigh myself often, soit's hard to like pinpoint a
(13:16):
specific number, but I know I'velost since last year, um, at
least 30 pounds in fact, lastyear when they went for my
annual checkup with my doctor.
When they checked me in and theywere, you know, doing all of the
preliminary measurements,checking my blood pressure, and,
(13:37):
looking at my vitals, taking mytemperature, all of that.
They had me get on the scale andthe nursing assistant, or the
woman who was helping check mein.
She weighed me three separatetimes.
So the first time I hopped onthe scale, when I first walked
into the room and she looked atit, wrote it down, I sat down,
she, I remember she put thething around my arm.
(13:59):
She took my blood pressure andthen stuck a thermometer under
my tongue and then.
She went to get the clipboardand she was like looking at my
vitals and writing them down.
And then afterwards she didn'tsay anything.
So she writes down the number onthe scale and it says like one
50 something.
I can't remember the exactnumber.
And then she sits down and likestarts asking me, you know,
(14:21):
questions, like generalquestions like, have you
experienced any pain?
Or like, da da, like basically,why are you here?
And it was just for my annualcheckup, my physical, So after
she takes those vitals, I get upfrom my chair and she's like,
oh, can you get back on thescale?
So I'm thinking, okay, maybe shelike.
(14:42):
Made a mistake the first time,or like she forgot the number.
So I get back on the scale.
I'm not really like askingquestions and I get on the
scale.
And she starts asking me otherquestions like, you know, do you
do this?
You know?
How have you been feeling likethose general, like quick
checking questions?
About how I've been feeling andblah, blah, blah.
So now I've hopped off the scaleand she's written down my number
(15:03):
again and continues to ask meother questions.
And then she goes, I'm sorry,can you get back on the scale?
And so I get back on the scalefor the third time now, and so
then she reads the number outloud and she's like.
One 50 something.
I don't remember what it said,but she's like, you have, and
like she starts flipping thechart and she's like, you've
(15:25):
lost like 30 something pounds.
And I was like, oh, since thelast time you were here.
And I was like, oh.
And she's like, um, was it onpurpose?
And I was like, was it onpurpose?
Um, yeah.
I have never lost weight onaccident a day in my life,
honey.
Those people who, like, whenthey're stressed, they don't
(15:47):
eat.
Like, that's not me.
That's never been me.
Like, oh, I'm sad I can't eat.
Mm-hmm.
I did the opposite.
So when she said that, I waslike, no, it was intentional.
And a big shift for me waseating I wasn't consuming
copious amounts of sugar like Iwas in year one of my sobriety.
The shift really was the portioncontrol.
Like I realized when I took atrip that summer to Europe and
(16:11):
Turkey.
I'm like, yeah, every time I goto Europe I do actually lose
weight.
So I guess that's the one timeI'm like accidentally losing
weight.
And it could be, you know,partially because their quality
of food is so much better thanours but I think it's more to do
with portion sizes we have inAmerica.
(16:32):
The sad diet, the standardAmerican diet, everything is
large, okay?
Everything is big.
Um, everything is saturated infat and sugar and just fake
crap.
And so being in Europe andTurkey for a month, I just
naturally lost weight.
And when I came back to NewYork, I was very intentional
(16:53):
around my portion control andnot restricting myself to the
sense that I'm starving, butrecognizing, are you eating
because you're actually hungry?
Are you eating because you'rehungry?
Like that's the question that Iwould ask myself.
Or are you eating because you'rebored or you're eating just
because you're eating yourfeelings those are things that
(17:13):
I.
Would ask myself, and it helpedkeep me on a really good path
for a while.
But then 2025 entered the chatand as mentioned, my mental
health really took a, a hit thisyear.
And so.
By default.
I just found myself back inreally unhealthy patterns when
it came to overconsumption andthen deprivation, if I'm being
(17:38):
honest with you guys, which Ihave been honest on the show, If
you want to hear more specificsaround struggles I've had with
Body Image and Disorderedeating, do check out the
episode.
It's one of my favorites fromthis year, slip Eating Disorder
Recovery, and the middle placewith Mallory Tenore Tarpley the,
(17:58):
she's the author of the bookSlip.
That book is incredible.
It's doing very well.
Like, I'll also link that in theshow notes if you're interested.
I really started to thinkthrough like just how bad and in
denial some of my disorderedeating slash eating disorders
have been in the past, and alsolike how they were seeping into
(18:19):
the present.
So the depression piece, likefor me this year being.
In a high functioning depressivestate meant that I was always
keeping busy, which helped toregulate some of my eating
patterns.
But then I would restrict myselfto the extent that I would be,
(18:39):
famished I would eat really wellduring the week.
Um, and then like as soon asFriday night hit, I would be.
Ravishing all the sugar insight, like buying Oreos, like
buying a full pack of Oreos,like the big one, well, not the
family size, the one below thefamily size, but like, you know,
(19:00):
eating that whole thing in onesitting.
Like, I'm gonna keep it realwith you guys, and then the next
day feeling like shit, becauseoh my God, why did I eat all of
those Oreos?
And then deciding that I am, youknow, going to eat very little
the next day.
That was sort of like the placeI was in this year.
the-sober-butterfly_25_12 (19:21):
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the-sober-butterfly_16_10 (20:38):
After that interview with Mallory, I
just realized that I was in sucha.
State of chaos when it came tomy diet And then defaulting to
just like unhealthy patterns.
As a girl who has struggled withdisordered eating for so long
and I was slipping back, youknow, the book is called Slip,
and here I am slipping back intothese default patterns that I've
(21:03):
had since a little girlrestricting and binging and just
that.
Oh, never ending loop.
So that's one piece of my why,like why I wanna do this,
because I need to be intentionalaround food and what I'm eating
and Actually nourishing my bodyand not seeing food as a
(21:27):
punishment or a punitive measurethat I can take away like
choosing to love myself andtrust myself to make sound
decisions.
And if I do slip when it comesto food, like not using food,
then as a punitive measure torestrict myself in my, effort to
balance the scales.
Like there is no balance in thescales.
(21:48):
Like life is a balance.
Like your diet should be variedand balanced, and really just
like neutralizing food, likefood is not good or bad.
Food is food, okay?
Food is meant to nourish you,and sometimes we do have
cravings and in fact, your bodymay be sending you a message
that you need something likemaybe my blood sugar is low and
I need to eat something withsugar in it to help spike it or
(22:09):
to.
Balance it.
Okay.
So basically that was one piece.
Back to the doctor's office.
So I'm in the doctor's office.
She's like, did you mean to loseall this weight?
And I was like, yes.
So they're like, okay, you'restill within your healthy range.
Like BMI range, but I'll let thedoctor know, doctor comes in.
I love this woman so much.
(22:31):
She's looking at my chart.
And she's like, oh you've lostsome weight.
Is that intentional?
And I said, yes.
And she said, is it healthy?
And I said, yes.
And she was like, okay, great.
No follow up questions.
I asked for her to run somelabs.
So she took some blood work forme to figure out if I was
nutrient deficient, like I'm inmy thirties, I gotta figure this
stuff out.
Right?
So she runs some tests and thenabout a week later the results
(22:55):
came back My vitals looked greatand I appreciate my doctor.
She gave me like a fullcomprehensive breakdown, with
the lab results, like, what dothose numbers mean?
Yes, there's a range.
Yes, I can look at a scale, butshe actually took the time to
write in her notes.
And what she shared was that myA1C, and that's the blood test
(23:15):
that measures your average bloodsugar was technically in the pre
diabetic range.
And it was like the first pointit came back at a 5.7, which is
technically in the pre-diabeticrange between 5.7 and less than
6.5 is considered to be in thepre-diabetes range.
(23:39):
If you have an A1C level above a6.5, you are in the diabetes
range.
And anything below, I guess the5.7 is in the normal range.
In my doctor's notes, she wrote,you know, technically it is the
beginning of the pre-diabeticrange, but, she literally wrote,
I'm not concerned.
I will retest you next year.
(24:02):
So here's the thing, she's notconcerned, but I am.
I'm concerned.
I'm concerned because diabetesruns extensively in my family.
On my maternal side, my mom'sside, my grandma has diabetes,
type two, her brother andsister.
So my great aunt and greatuncle, both diabetic.
(24:24):
One of my aunts is also a typetwo diabetic.
My mother is actually in thepre-diabetes range herself,
although she has been.
Technically pre-diabetic for thelast 10 years and has not become
diabetic.
So that's given me, you know, alot of hope.
But yeah that's not a goodthing.
(24:45):
Like I don't want diabetes.
If I can prevent it, if I canhelp it, I don't want this
life-threatening disease Iactually know a lot of people,
aside from even my family thathave diabetes and.
Just to hear how much work goesinto making sure that they are
living and maintaining theirdiabetes is exhausting.
(25:12):
I'm already doing too much.
I don't need to be, I don't needto be monitoring my blood sugar
every day, not even every day,multiple times a day.
Injecting myself with insulin.
No I just don't.
So if I can help it, I'm goingto try my very best to not get
there.
Okay?
That's my why, guys.
(25:33):
Those two things, okay?
I wanna be moreself-disciplined.
And 75 Hard is not just aphysical health challenge.
It transforms your life in somany ways.
And I don't wanna developdiabetes.
I need to kick my sugar cravingbecause it is out of control.
Like getting those results.
(25:54):
At first there was a shift,'cause remember this has been
like almost a year.
I've had these results.
At first, I would say like abouta month later, I was like trying
to make really good choices, butthen I took it too far and then
just started to say, fuck it,and I ate whatever I wanted.
I would be really good duringthe week and then binge sugar on
(26:17):
the weekends.
Does that remind you ofanything?
Does that remind you, Nadine, ofwhat life was like before you
got sober?
It sure does.
Living for the weekend, livingfor that white devil.
So I just know something has togive.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-23 (26:35):
So that's why I'm doing this.
I need to break the cycle andreset my relationship with
comfort and control.
So if you've never heard of 75Hard, it is a mental toughness
program.
It is not a diet, it is not afitness challenge.
It's all about building thatself-discipline that I mentioned
through consistency.
(26:55):
Now there are six rules, and I'mgonna break down each one.
Along with how I am adaptingthem for my own sober girl
lifestyle.
So rule number one, follow adiet, no cheat meals or alcohol.
So the no alcohol, obviouslycheck my personal.
(27:15):
Diet role for this challenge assomeone who is openly sharing
that I struggle with food andbody image is I am not
restricting myself.
Okay.
I'm mostly going to eat wholefood compliant diet.
And that does not mean I'm onlyshopping exclusively at Whole
Foods.
I just mean like I'm gonna tryand eat as many real foods as
(27:36):
possible.
Okay.
My thing is I want nothing thathas added sugar in it.
So I'm not gonna follow a diet.
I'm just not going to consumesugar.
Now, when I say not consumingsugar, fruit is on the table,
okay?
I'm not giving up fruit.
Are you crazy?
Fruit is natural.
Natural sugars a okay.
(27:57):
I'm not going to have a donut,i'm not going to eat.
Oreos ice cream.
Like that's what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about.
Processed foods, you know, evengranola bars, even like the
healthy yogurt.
So I am actually looking at thenutrition labels on products,
(28:18):
but I'm not saying, no bread, nocarbs.
I, I'm not doing that becauselife is hard.
I can't, and then I'm gonna beinsane or miserable and default
to quitting.
I don't wanna quit.
I'm finishing this challenge soI'm already five days in, and I
can confidently report that myenergy feels more stable, my
(28:43):
mood is lighter, and my sleep isbetter.
This feels sustainable.
My mom was in town this weekend,so we like bopped around and of
course like we went to dinnerand.
At dinner.
Did I miss having a mocktail?
Sure.
But like, am I gonna die?
Is that gonna send me off theedge and like now I have to like
(29:04):
eat a whole package of Oreos?
No.
I still had pasta at dinner andit was still delicious and I ate
bread and hummus and it wasfine.
So the no sugar thing so far hasbeen manageable, and I think it
will be sustainable.
I will keep you posted.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10- (29:21):
Rule number two, this one is tough.
Rule number two, you need to do2 45 minute workouts a day.
And the caveat here is that onemust be outdoors.
Yeah.
So you know guys, I have afull-time job.
I'm a full-time teacher.
My days are packed.
(29:42):
Okay.
But I've been waking up everyday before sunrise to workout,
whether that be a home workouton on YouTube Academy because
YouTube is one of the best freeresources when it comes to
finding fitness.
I always tell people who don'tlike to work out because.
(30:03):
I'm sorry.
Not liking to work out is aforeign concept.
I know how that may sound.
Apologies.
Okay.
But I love to work out, so I'mlike, okay.
Why don't people like workingout?
I think people are trying towait for the motivation before
they just show up forthemselves.
Like the discipline needs tocome before the motivation.
Like when you develop a routine,a fitness routine, then you'll
(30:25):
feel motivated to continuebecause you will feel good and
you will look good.
Period.
So I'm already motivated to workout.
Like that's not my issue.
The hard part is the outdoorpiece.
The hard part is like waking upbefore sunrise, which I do
anyway, but like, I'm not gonnago outside and take a walk
(30:45):
before the sunrises because Ijust.
I've seen too many true crimedocumentaries with girls going
missing.
And I don't even live in like adangerous neighborhood.
Like I'm fine.
I just don't wanna be outside inthe we hours of the morning.
So I'm actually looking forwardto daylight savings for once in
my life where the clocks willroll forward and it will be
(31:06):
light outside at 5:00 AM thehard part has not been
necessarily the two separateworkouts, but it's more so been
trying to fit the outdoor oneout.
But thankfully the weather isstill really nice here in New
York, and that's also why doingthe challenge this time.
In the fall, as opposed to whenI've tried this before in the
(31:27):
dead of winter, like literallyJanuary 1st, 2022.
I was like, I'm doing 75.
Hard starting on the first dayof the year.
I barely made it to day 12.
Dying.
Okay.
Dying with a capital exclamationmark because I could not figure
out the outdoor workouts.
What do you mean?
I have to go outside whenthere's snow on the ground?
(31:49):
If I can help it.
No, let alone sweat.
So yeah, I think I can do itthis year.
I've just been very intentionalthis week around like going for
long walks.
I'm using work even as anopportunity, like on my lunch
break, going for a 45 minutewalk.
I can squeeze that in and stillbe on time.
(32:09):
For my next class, that I teach.
It's just gamifying it, right?
Like it's just finding ways tosneak these things in.
What errands do you have?
Walk Literally go walk.
Like I walked all the way fromdowntown.
If you don't live in New York,this might not make sense, but I
walked basically to a Sephorathat was 45 minutes away from
(32:32):
where I was at the time, eventhough there was a Sephora right
in front of me.
Like I walked all the way to theone in Midtown, in Harold
Square.
Because I was like, I gotta getthis walk-in.
So just finding ways to like fitit in is helpful.
Make the process fun for you ifyou're struggling with thinking
(32:53):
how you can work out, beyonddoing this challenge, like if
you're with someone that's like,I don't know how to work out,
like find ways to like.
Get a walk-in, that counts,start somewhere.
The second workout Iconsistently do is Pilates or
bar or some kind of likestrength training.
And once again, it's not for meabout changing my body, it's
about moving it, and it's aboutreminding myself what it feels
(33:15):
like to be strong andintentional.
So rule number two.
You gotta get those 2 45 minuteworkouts in.
One must be outdoors.
Oh, and it can't be consecutive.
It can't like be a 90 minuteworkout.
And then you're like, I'm donefor the day.
I think there has to be some.
Period of time in between towhere your body can reset.
(33:36):
I'm assuming the intention isthere is a whole book that I
have not read for thischallenge.
I'm just looking at all of thefree resources out there where
they break down the rules.
But yeah, my interpretation ofthe rule is that,
the-sober-butterfly_16_10 (33:49):
Rule number three, and this rule,
surprisingly, this round has notbeen as challenging, but in the
past has gotten me out.
Okay?
This is the rule that gets meout.
You've gotta drink a gallon ofwater.
I feel like that should be easy,but like in the past it has not
been easy, but I have actuallythis time really been doing a
(34:10):
good job of drinking a gallon ofwater a day.
I know I was not drinking enoughwater before, but now I just
carry my giant Stanley Cuparound with me.
It's so funny, guys.
Actually, I'm gonna show you ifyou're watching the show, I
purchased on Amazon a gallonwater bottle because I was like,
oh, I can just take this gallonwater bottle with me everywhere,
(34:31):
and then I know that when it'sfinished.
I have accomplished that rulefor the day.
Jokes on me.
Wait until you see how big thiswater bottle is.
Okay.
In case you were wondering ifyou didn't know, I can't even
fit it into frame.
This is a gallon, it has a wholehandle.
Okay.
Like a handle, like you'recarrying a weight because you
(34:53):
are, it is heavy.
The bottle itself, it's hollow.
It's like, a fake Stanley.
This one is not a real Stanley.
Anyway, I bought this waterbottle with every intention of
bringing it with me.
The road, and that would be theworkout, just carrying the water
bottle.
So I don't do that.
Instead I take my like literStanley cup and I fill it up
(35:16):
four times a day.
So whatever, it might not be aliter.
I'm not good at math, but I didthe math before, so I just have
to drink four of those.
And so I make sure I get in oneto two or like one and a half of
those.
Drinks before I even leave thehouse, because as you can
imagine, I'm peeing all day andone of my biggest fears is like,
(35:36):
i'm gonna pee myself out inpublic.
Like that's a real fear that Ithink a lot of New Yorkers have
just because, like imagine therehave been times when I've left
work like, oh, I'm just gonna, Ican hold it.
I can just hold it.
Like you just think you leavesomewhere, leave home or work,
and you're like, I can hold it.
But then.
You get stuck under the subwaythere's a delay on the subway
and I don't know, like you peeyour pants.
(35:57):
Like I, that's a fear I have.
It's never happened in the 11ish years I've lived in New
York, but it could happen.
And so I'm always like paranoidabout peeing myself in public.
It's a real fear that keeps meup at night.
So anyway, I make sure I drinklike as much water as I can
before I leave the house so thatI can pee as much as possible.
(36:19):
And then I just break it up likeby the end of my workday, I
should have drank at leastanother one and a half, which is
now at three.
And then by the time I get home,I'm drinking the fourth cup,
which is a gallon.
Yeah, it actually has beenpretty easy this time.
So you gotta drink your gallonof water and I think my skin
truly is just glowing, like it'sonly been five, six days and I'm
(36:42):
like, I can see the difference.
I also got a facial this weekthough.
Maybe that's it.
But things are working inculmination.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10- (36:50):
rule number four, read 10 pages of a
self-improvement book.
You can choose whatever book youwant.
I am reading Atomic Habits.
I actually have it here, or Ihave the cover here for you
guys.
The book is in my bag.
Atomic Habits by James Clear.
This is the perfect book for achallenge like this.
I've read it before, but it wasa while ago.
(37:12):
And really the book is justabout small actions that can add
up to a big change.
And yeah, this rule is.
Easy for me.
I read all the time.
Although I'm more of a fictiongirly, I do love
self-development orself-improvement books.
And so this book is supposed tohelp reshape the way you think
(37:32):
about about progress, and alsothen give you the tools and
techniques you need to transformyour habits.
It's that 1% better everydaymindset.
And that's what it's about forme, like not perfection.
Progress and these small tweakswith time will appreciate into
(37:54):
real and hopefully lastingchange.
Rule number five, take a daily
progress picture.
This one was the hardest for me,actually.
I'm joking.
This one is the easiest.
You guys, I, I, I do this forfree.
I do this even when I'm not apart of the challenge.
(38:14):
Okay.
It's not necessarily a progresspicture, but i'm taking daily.
Selfies.
You guys see them on myInstagram.
If you're following me prePilates, post Pilates, snap.
Um, so yeah, I am doing that.
So every day I take a progresspicture.
I don't know if you, if you haveto like post it somewhere.
I'm not always posting, but I amtaking daily photos.
(38:37):
So I think it's just a greatdocumentation piece.
It's not about perfection oraesthetics.
It's proof that you showed upeven on days when you didn't
feel like it.
And then after the 75 days, youhave like a very clear
chronology of your progress.
So yeah.
Rule number five, take dailyprogress.
(38:57):
Picture rule number six.
This one is equally important tothe other five.
No excuses.
No compromises.
You either do it or you don't.
You either drank a gallon ofwater or you didn't.
You either read 10 pages or youdidn't.
(39:17):
There's no bargaining and for mereally trying to finish this
challenge.
By January 1st, 2026, there'sno, I will start over or I'll
start again next time.
Like, no, it is simpleaccountability.
And there's no middle ground.
The extremist in me just lovesthat because it's very clear,
it's very black and white.
(39:38):
You did it or you didn't.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-2 (39:43):
now I want to invite you to try
something too.
You don't have to do 75 hard,maybe you do 75 Soft.
In fact, my mother is currentlydoing 75 soft.
I'm so proud of her.
She was here this weekend and wehad a very cute mother-daughter
weekend here in the city andjust explored.
(40:04):
We went to Broadway, we wentbike riding.
We had dinner, we went toBathhouse, which is like our
favorite activity, just toluxuriate all day in the sauna.
And since she was here, she alsostarted the challenge with me,
but she's doing the 75 softversion.
So the 75 soft version is.
Essentially the same as the 75.
(40:24):
Hard, just like the rules are abit more flexible.
Instead, for example of doingtwo workouts a day, you only
have to do 1 45 minute workout.
And my mom was so committed,like I told her I was starting
before she got here, obviouslybecause.
You gotta give people heads upwith these things like, you
know, like she's gonna be herewith me, staying with me.
Like, you know, she's gonna beseeing me do all these things.
(40:45):
And she was so game to do it.
She even bought a workbook.
A 75 soft workbook that shedelivered to her, actually to my
house.
And yeah, she's being consistentherself and.
I love that.
I have to catch up with myfriend.
I think she's also one of mygirlfriends.
Kailyn is doing it as well.
So yeah.
I'm gonna invite you the pointisn't to be perfect.
(41:06):
It's just to prove to yourselfthat you can keep a promise to
yourself.
So if you are interested or havequestions or wanna join me, tag
me on Instagram at@the.soberbutterfly, let's make
a hashtag.
Use the hashtag pound.
Do people say pound still?
Hashtag 75.
Sober Butterfly Challenge.
(41:27):
So I can follow your progressand also cheer you on.
Let's finish the year strongtogether.
Thank you butterflies forspending this time with me.
Next week I'm gonna be fillingyou guys in with like my budding
love life.
I'll say, I don't know, budding.
We'll see.
I'll let you guys know next weekbecause I'm actually going outta
(41:49):
town this weekend to see a guyand yeah, I'll be sharing all of
that.
Until then, drink your water.
Keep your promises and rememberthat discipline is the highest
form of self love.
I will see you guys next Friday.
Stay strong, stay soft and staysober.
(42:10):
Butterflies, what a tonguetwister.
That outro has to change?
hello there.
Calling all my beautifulbutterflies.
Hi, talking to you.
Welcome to the show, the SoberButterfly.
I'm so happy to be here with youon this beautiful day, whatever
day you're listening to this.
However, the show drops everyFriday.
Early in the morning, whereveryou are in the world, thank you
(00:21):
for being here.
If this is your first time hereand you happen to stumble upon
the sober butterfly, you're inthe right place.
Don't go anywhere.
I'm Nadine, your host.
I'm just your ordinary.
A DHD sober girl.
Okay.
Last week's episode, the Returnof the Super Butterfly.
I shared some pretty big lifeupdates because I took a little
(00:42):
break from podcasting and yeah,I'm back.
I'm back.
Look at me.
I'm consistent.
Two weeks in a row.
I'm still here.
I'm not going anywhere.
so let's just jump into you.
The focus for today?
75.
Hard.
Okay.
I mentioned last week thatSaturday, October 18th
officially launched the final 75days of the year.
(01:05):
Now what does that mean for you?
Maybe it means nothing for me,it means get your shit together.
For me, it means, girl, we onlyhave 75 days to.
Finish the year strong because Istarted the year in the
trenches.
It was ghetto.
(01:25):
I'm not ending on that note.
So Saturday, 75 days left intothe year.
I am rewriting the narrative.
I'm finishing 2025.
Strong.
I'm going to upgrade my lifesignificantly, and the means
that I'm going to achieve thatby is through 75 hard.
(01:46):
So I have to be extreme with allthings I do, and 75 days in my
mind means okay, this is theperfect opportunity to really
focus in.
Now I know what you're thinking.
Okay, Nadine, why are you doingsomething so hard when life is
very hard?
Is life not hard enough foreveryone?
(02:08):
The answer is yes.
Okay.
Life is hard, but I'm harder.
Okay?
Your girl is hard.
I go hard in the paint but youdo raise a fair point.
That is a fair question.
Here's the thing, I want to end2025 with intention instead of
just coasting an autopilot.
(02:28):
I know in sobriety we talk verycandidly and frequently around
the importance of routines andif you went through more
traditional programs like aa,you know.
They talk extensively aroundpeople, places, things, and
creating systems and routines todisrupt what ultimately led you
(02:52):
to drink.
You know, those triggers aroundcertain people, places and
things.
And I always used to add like alittle addendum, routines
included, because so much of myroutine was connected to
drinking, whether that be.
Going specifically to TraderJoe's to pick up bottles of wine
on a Friday immediately afterwork.
(03:12):
Or the ritual of coming homeafter a long day and immediately
cracking open that bottlebecause you know it's 5:00 PM
somewhere and sometimes it'snot.
But that's okay because it's5:00 PM somewhere those routines
really kept me.
Stuck in a feedback loop, acontinuum of craving and
(03:34):
rewarding myself after harddays.
And I thought that alcohol wasthe reward.
This is not uncommon to manypeople.
This is not unique to me orspecial.
These are just things that Irecognized at the time.
But still somehow was in denial.
Now that I don't drink, I cansee very clearly the cycle that
I was stuck in for so long.
(03:55):
So my decision to start 75 hardand just the fact that it
coincided with there being 75days or around 75 days left in
the year when I was thinkingabout doing 75 hard.
I believe in signs.
I was like, oh my God, this isperfect.
I like to be extreme and pushmyself with challenges and you
know, things that are easy don'tseem as like valuable to me.
(04:15):
I'll just be honest.
I'm such a dude in that way.
Like, if I don't have to workfor it, I don't want it.
Like, if anyone can get it I amnot entrusted that's the
masculine energy of being anAries God of war, ruled by Mars,
like we wanna do hard things.
That default is in my DNA andlike by nature, how I move
through the world.
But I also think that there's alot of value in.
(04:38):
Thinking through the systems androutines that you currently have
and questioning or takinginventory as to whether or not
they are serving you.
And I feel that even insobriety, of course, I've picked
up very healthy habits androutines that don't involve
drinking myself into a state ofoblivion.
Most days out of the week.
(05:00):
So like that is positive, but Ialso recognize that I am still
stuck in some feedback loops.
I'm still stuck in certainbehaviors or habits that are no
longer serving future me, thewoman that I intend to become
and also currently am in theprocess of becoming that woman
(05:22):
is not necessarily reflected inmy daily choices or habits.
And so 75 Hard is just a way forme to really figure that piece
out.
And a big part of it comes downto discipline.
So why am I doing 75 hard?
It's not because I necessarilywant to lose weight, although to
keep it real with you guys, likeI always kind of wanna lose a
(05:42):
little weight, even though Iprobably don't need to.
I've actually lost quite a bitof weight in the last year.
Which I'll share, I'll get into
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-2 (05:54):
I'm not on Ozempic or Manjaro or any
of the other.
GLP ones, um, no shade to anyonethat's on those things, but like
I lost the weight on my own.
So I'm not doing this for weightloss and I have a very
complicated history when itcomes to weight and food and
(06:19):
body image which I've shared onthe show.
So I do have to be cognizant ofmy struggles some of my
obsessive tendencies when itcomes to presenting, um, a
certain way or looking a certainway.
So that is something that I haveto be mindful of.
And if this is a trigger foranyone, please take what you
(06:42):
need.
Like this episode is not meantto be triggering.
I'm just going to be sharing howmy 75 hard journey has gone so
far.
But if you know that the idea ofdoing things, but if you know
that being a part.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-23 (06:57):
so before we get into today's
episode, I wanna issue a quicktrigger warning.
In this episode, I'm gonna betalking about body image and
cravings and food choices anddiscipline themes that may be
sensitive for anyone who hasexperienced disordered eating or
eating disorders or bodydysmorphia or any addiction
(07:18):
replacement behaviors.
So if that is you, please takecare of yourself.
You can always pause or skipthis episode if it doesn't feel
like it's the right time,because I always believe that
your healing and safety comesfirst.
Now that that's said, let's getinto it..
So I wanna start with my why.
There are many ways that you canbuild self-discipline, right?
(07:43):
I'm choosing 75 hard becauseI've been struggling so much
with my mental health.
Even though I'm sober and Idon't crave alcohol, and I don't
say that as a brag.
I'm just saying like when I'mstressed, when I'm.
Feeling low.
I'm not thinking, oh my God, adrink would fix this.
Like I, I very much understandthat alcohol is not my friend.
(08:06):
Like we are not cool.
We are enemies, if anything, andI don't fuck with alcohol.
So that's not what I think of.
I don't miss drinking even onhard days.
What I find that I'm doing, likethis current feedback loop that
I'm stuck in is after I have.
Long days or I don't even wannafront, like if I'm being honest,
(08:27):
like it's not even necessarilythat I've had a bad day.
It is just a day, like after aday.
The new routines I found myselfin is I am obsessively eating
sugar or drinking sugar.
I am addicted to sugar.
That white powder.
(08:48):
Yeah, it's got me.
Okay.
I'm chasing the same dopaminehit that I used to get from
drinking
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-23- (08:57):
I realized I'm chasing that same
dopamine hit that I used to getfrom drinking, and I realized.
Alcohol is sugar.
You know, when you drink, yourbody metabolizes alcohol into
acetate, which the liverconverts into glucose, which is
basically sugar.
And then that spikes your bloodsugar and gives you this little
(09:20):
hit of dopamine.
So when you stop drinking, yourbody starts craving other ways
to get that hit.
And for me it was sugar.
It can look differently indifferent people, but as someone
who's always had a, sweet tooth,sugar, became my addiction
replacement, I'll say, and thisis not uncommon to other people.
(09:42):
A lot of people find themselveseating more pastries, more
cookies, you name it.
And so when I quit drinkinginstead of losing weight and
experiencing all of thebeautiful health benefits that
people talk about with glowingskin and they've lost 15 pounds,
I experienced the reverse ofthat because I was stuffing my
face constantly with whatever Icould get my hands on that had
(10:03):
sugar in it.
So in early sobriety, weightgain.
Was actually really triggeringfor me, and I'm so thankful that
I was able to overcome that andreally focus in on the long-term
benefits and not the short termconsequences, I guess I'll say,
for lack of better word rightnow.
So I gave myself.
(10:24):
A chance basically to reallylike stick with my sobriety.
And then with time, I did losethe weight and that was like my
first year of sobriety, right?
So my first year of sobriety, Ilike gained weight and I was
eating a lot more because Iwasn't drinking and trying to
fill that void or replaced thatroutine with food.
(10:46):
Like my routine actually becameafter I quit drinking, I would
go from.
Going to Trader Joe's to getbottles of wine for the weekend
to going to the West Village inNew York.
I would always go to this veganThai place.
It's called Spicy Moon.
Love that place.
(11:07):
And I would order a shit ton oftake takeout, like I'm talking
like almost a hundred dollarsworth of takeout.
Like two types of dumplings andmy Thai iced tea which has so
much caffeine and sugar in it.
And then I go up the street toanother spot that had ice cream
and I'd eat the ice cream on theway to the subway because I was
(11:29):
just craving sugar.
And then I get home and stuff myface with all of thet.
That became my routine.
So like it's no surprise that Igained like 20 pounds.
With time and discipline andjust like the realization that
this was not sustainable.
Um, I did lose weight I wouldsay the second year of my
sobriety, year two, I had moreset routines and I was
(11:51):
challenging the ones that wereunhealthy because I think as a
form of harm reduction, likewhat's having a few excess
calories compared to drinkingyourself into an early grave,
like I really recognized that.
One choice was significantlybetter, even though if long term
it wasn't sustainable, at leastsomething I could sustain
(12:12):
because I'm, you know, soconcerned about how I look in my
image.
I knew I'd lose the weight andI'm also a very active person.
I've always loved to work out,even if I'm eating very
unhealthily, like exercise hasalways come easily to me.
So that piece was already there,and once I slowed down with my
sugar intake, the weightnaturally fell off.
So year two, I did lose all theweight I gained.
(12:35):
Which truly was about like 15,20 pounds up and down, you know,
what is five pounds?
Especially for someone who'sreally tall like me, but yeah, I
lost that weight naturally withtime I had found more of a
stride and my routines were moreset and in place and the weight
just naturally fell off becauseI'm such an active person and
(12:55):
prioritize exercise and workingout, no matter what in fact my
fitness routine is very muchalso integrated into my mental
health.
And then year three in mysobriety, now I drastically
dropped about 30.
Ish pounds.
I don't weigh myself often, soit's hard to like pinpoint a
(13:16):
specific number, but I know I'velost since last year, um, at
least 30 pounds in fact, lastyear when they went for my
annual checkup with my doctor.
When they checked me in and theywere, you know, doing all of the
preliminary measurements,checking my blood pressure, and,
(13:37):
looking at my vitals, taking mytemperature, all of that.
They had me get on the scale andthe nursing assistant, or the
woman who was helping check mein.
She weighed me three separatetimes.
So the first time I hopped onthe scale, when I first walked
into the room and she looked atit, wrote it down, I sat down,
she, I remember she put thething around my arm.
(13:59):
She took my blood pressure andthen stuck a thermometer under
my tongue and then.
She went to get the clipboardand she was like looking at my
vitals and writing them down.
And then afterwards she didn'tsay anything.
So she writes down the number onthe scale and it says like one
50 something.
I can't remember the exactnumber.
And then she sits down and likestarts asking me, you know,
(14:21):
questions, like generalquestions like, have you
experienced any pain?
Or like, da da, like basically,why are you here?
And it was just for my annualcheckup, my physical, So after
she takes those vitals, I get upfrom my chair and she's like,
oh, can you get back on thescale?
So I'm thinking, okay, maybe shelike.
(14:42):
Made a mistake the first time,or like she forgot the number.
So I get back on the scale.
I'm not really like askingquestions and I get on the
scale.
And she starts asking me otherquestions like, you know, do you
do this?
You know?
How have you been feeling likethose general, like quick
checking questions?
About how I've been feeling andblah, blah, blah.
So now I've hopped off the scaleand she's written down my number
(15:03):
again and continues to ask meother questions.
And then she goes, I'm sorry,can you get back on the scale?
And so I get back on the scalefor the third time now, and so
then she reads the number outloud and she's like.
One 50 something.
I don't remember what it said,but she's like, you have, and
like she starts flipping thechart and she's like, you've
(15:25):
lost like 30 something pounds.
And I was like, oh, since thelast time you were here.
And I was like, oh.
And she's like, um, was it onpurpose?
And I was like, was it onpurpose?
Um, yeah.
I have never lost weight onaccident a day in my life,
honey.
Those people who, like, whenthey're stressed, they don't
(15:47):
eat.
Like, that's not me.
That's never been me.
Like, oh, I'm sad I can't eat.
Mm-hmm.
I did the opposite.
So when she said that, I waslike, no, it was intentional.
And a big shift for me waseating I wasn't consuming
copious amounts of sugar like Iwas in year one of my sobriety.
The shift really was the portioncontrol.
Like I realized when I took atrip that summer to Europe and
(16:11):
Turkey.
I'm like, yeah, every time I goto Europe I do actually lose
weight.
So I guess that's the one timeI'm like accidentally losing
weight.
And it could be, you know,partially because their quality
of food is so much better thanours but I think it's more to do
with portion sizes we have inAmerica.
(16:32):
The sad diet, the standardAmerican diet, everything is
large, okay?
Everything is big.
Um, everything is saturated infat and sugar and just fake
crap.
And so being in Europe andTurkey for a month, I just
naturally lost weight.
And when I came back to NewYork, I was very intentional
(16:53):
around my portion control andnot restricting myself to the
sense that I'm starving, butrecognizing, are you eating
because you're actually hungry?
Are you eating because you'rehungry?
Like that's the question that Iwould ask myself.
Or are you eating because you'rebored or you're eating just
because you're eating yourfeelings those are things that
(17:13):
I.
Would ask myself, and it helpedkeep me on a really good path
for a while.
But then 2025 entered the chatand as mentioned, my mental
health really took a, a hit thisyear.
And so.
By default.
I just found myself back inreally unhealthy patterns when
it came to overconsumption andthen deprivation, if I'm being
(17:38):
honest with you guys, which Ihave been honest on the show, If
you want to hear more specificsaround struggles I've had with
Body Image and Disorderedeating, do check out the
episode.
It's one of my favorites fromthis year, slip Eating Disorder
Recovery, and the middle placewith Mallory Tenore Tarpley the,
(17:58):
she's the author of the bookSlip.
That book is incredible.
It's doing very well.
Like, I'll also link that in theshow notes if you're interested.
I really started to thinkthrough like just how bad and in
denial some of my disorderedeating slash eating disorders
have been in the past, and alsolike how they were seeping into
(18:19):
the present.
So the depression piece, likefor me this year being.
In a high functioning depressivestate meant that I was always
keeping busy, which helped toregulate some of my eating
patterns.
But then I would restrict myselfto the extent that I would be,
(18:39):
famished I would eat really wellduring the week.
Um, and then like as soon asFriday night hit, I would be.
Ravishing all the sugar insight, like buying Oreos, like
buying a full pack of Oreos,like the big one, well, not the
family size, the one below thefamily size, but like, you know,
(19:00):
eating that whole thing in onesitting.
Like, I'm gonna keep it realwith you guys, and then the next
day feeling like shit, becauseoh my God, why did I eat all of
those Oreos?
And then deciding that I am, youknow, going to eat very little
the next day.
That was sort of like the placeI was in this year.
the-sober-butterfly_25_12 (19:21):
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the-sober-butterfly_16_10 (20:38):
After that interview with Mallory, I
just realized that I was in sucha.
State of chaos when it came tomy diet And then defaulting to
just like unhealthy patterns.
As a girl who has struggled withdisordered eating for so long
and I was slipping back, youknow, the book is called Slip,
and here I am slipping back intothese default patterns that I've
(21:03):
had since a little girlrestricting and binging and just
that.
Oh, never ending loop.
So that's one piece of my why,like why I wanna do this,
because I need to be intentionalaround food and what I'm eating
and Actually nourishing my bodyand not seeing food as a
(21:27):
punishment or a punitive measurethat I can take away like
choosing to love myself andtrust myself to make sound
decisions.
And if I do slip when it comesto food, like not using food,
then as a punitive measure torestrict myself in my, effort to
balance the scales.
Like there is no balance in thescales.
(21:48):
Like life is a balance.
Like your diet should be variedand balanced, and really just
like neutralizing food, likefood is not good or bad.
Food is food, okay?
Food is meant to nourish you,and sometimes we do have
cravings and in fact, your bodymay be sending you a message
that you need something likemaybe my blood sugar is low and
I need to eat something withsugar in it to help spike it or
(22:09):
to.
Balance it.
Okay.
So basically that was one piece.
Back to the doctor's office.
So I'm in the doctor's office.
She's like, did you mean to loseall this weight?
And I was like, yes.
So they're like, okay, you'restill within your healthy range.
Like BMI range, but I'll let thedoctor know, doctor comes in.
I love this woman so much.
(22:31):
She's looking at my chart.
And she's like, oh you've lostsome weight.
Is that intentional?
And I said, yes.
And she said, is it healthy?
And I said, yes.
And she was like, okay, great.
No follow up questions.
I asked for her to run somelabs.
So she took some blood work forme to figure out if I was
nutrient deficient, like I'm inmy thirties, I gotta figure this
stuff out.
Right?
So she runs some tests and thenabout a week later the results
(22:55):
came back My vitals looked greatand I appreciate my doctor.
She gave me like a fullcomprehensive breakdown, with
the lab results, like, what dothose numbers mean?
Yes, there's a range.
Yes, I can look at a scale, butshe actually took the time to
write in her notes.
And what she shared was that myA1C, and that's the blood test
(23:15):
that measures your average bloodsugar was technically in the pre
diabetic range.
And it was like the first pointit came back at a 5.7, which is
technically in the pre-diabeticrange between 5.7 and less than
6.5 is considered to be in thepre-diabetes range.
(23:39):
If you have an A1C level above a6.5, you are in the diabetes
range.
And anything below, I guess the5.7 is in the normal range.
In my doctor's notes, she wrote,you know, technically it is the
beginning of the pre-diabeticrange, but, she literally wrote,
I'm not concerned.
I will retest you next year.
(24:02):
So here's the thing, she's notconcerned, but I am.
I'm concerned.
I'm concerned because diabetesruns extensively in my family.
On my maternal side, my mom'sside, my grandma has diabetes,
type two, her brother andsister.
So my great aunt and greatuncle, both diabetic.
(24:24):
One of my aunts is also a typetwo diabetic.
My mother is actually in thepre-diabetes range herself,
although she has been.
Technically pre-diabetic for thelast 10 years and has not become
diabetic.
So that's given me, you know, alot of hope.
But yeah that's not a goodthing.
(24:45):
Like I don't want diabetes.
If I can prevent it, if I canhelp it, I don't want this
life-threatening disease Iactually know a lot of people,
aside from even my family thathave diabetes and.
Just to hear how much work goesinto making sure that they are
living and maintaining theirdiabetes is exhausting.
(25:12):
I'm already doing too much.
I don't need to be, I don't needto be monitoring my blood sugar
every day, not even every day,multiple times a day.
Injecting myself with insulin.
No I just don't.
So if I can help it, I'm goingto try my very best to not get
there.
Okay?
That's my why, guys.
(25:33):
Those two things, okay?
I wanna be moreself-disciplined.
And 75 Hard is not just aphysical health challenge.
It transforms your life in somany ways.
And I don't wanna developdiabetes.
I need to kick my sugar cravingbecause it is out of control.
Like getting those results.
(25:54):
At first there was a shift,'cause remember this has been
like almost a year.
I've had these results.
At first, I would say like abouta month later, I was like trying
to make really good choices, butthen I took it too far and then
just started to say, fuck it,and I ate whatever I wanted.
I would be really good duringthe week and then binge sugar on
(26:17):
the weekends.
Does that remind you ofanything?
Does that remind you, Nadine, ofwhat life was like before you
got sober?
It sure does.
Living for the weekend, livingfor that white devil.
So I just know something has togive.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-23 (26:35):
So that's why I'm doing this.
I need to break the cycle andreset my relationship with
comfort and control.
So if you've never heard of 75Hard, it is a mental toughness
program.
It is not a diet, it is not afitness challenge.
It's all about building thatself-discipline that I mentioned
through consistency.
(26:55):
Now there are six rules, and I'mgonna break down each one.
Along with how I am adaptingthem for my own sober girl
lifestyle.
So rule number one, follow adiet, no cheat meals or alcohol.
So the no alcohol, obviouslycheck my personal.
(27:15):
Diet role for this challenge assomeone who is openly sharing
that I struggle with food andbody image is I am not
restricting myself.
Okay.
I'm mostly going to eat wholefood compliant diet.
And that does not mean I'm onlyshopping exclusively at Whole
Foods.
I just mean like I'm gonna tryand eat as many real foods as
(27:36):
possible.
Okay.
My thing is I want nothing thathas added sugar in it.
So I'm not gonna follow a diet.
I'm just not going to consumesugar.
Now, when I say not consumingsugar, fruit is on the table,
okay?
I'm not giving up fruit.
Are you crazy?
Fruit is natural.
Natural sugars a okay.
(27:57):
I'm not going to have a donut,i'm not going to eat.
Oreos ice cream.
Like that's what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about.
Processed foods, you know, evengranola bars, even like the
healthy yogurt.
So I am actually looking at thenutrition labels on products,
(28:18):
but I'm not saying, no bread, nocarbs.
I, I'm not doing that becauselife is hard.
I can't, and then I'm gonna beinsane or miserable and default
to quitting.
I don't wanna quit.
I'm finishing this challenge soI'm already five days in, and I
can confidently report that myenergy feels more stable, my
(28:43):
mood is lighter, and my sleep isbetter.
This feels sustainable.
My mom was in town this weekend,so we like bopped around and of
course like we went to dinnerand.
At dinner.
Did I miss having a mocktail?
Sure.
But like, am I gonna die?
Is that gonna send me off theedge and like now I have to like
(29:04):
eat a whole package of Oreos?
No.
I still had pasta at dinner andit was still delicious and I ate
bread and hummus and it wasfine.
So the no sugar thing so far hasbeen manageable, and I think it
will be sustainable.
I will keep you posted.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10- (29:21):
Rule number two, this one is tough.
Rule number two, you need to do2 45 minute workouts a day.
And the caveat here is that onemust be outdoors.
Yeah.
So you know guys, I have afull-time job.
I'm a full-time teacher.
My days are packed.
(29:42):
Okay.
But I've been waking up everyday before sunrise to workout,
whether that be a home workouton on YouTube Academy because
YouTube is one of the best freeresources when it comes to
finding fitness.
I always tell people who don'tlike to work out because.
(30:03):
I'm sorry.
Not liking to work out is aforeign concept.
I know how that may sound.
Apologies.
Okay.
But I love to work out, so I'mlike, okay.
Why don't people like workingout?
I think people are trying towait for the motivation before
they just show up forthemselves.
Like the discipline needs tocome before the motivation.
Like when you develop a routine,a fitness routine, then you'll
(30:25):
feel motivated to continuebecause you will feel good and
you will look good.
Period.
So I'm already motivated to workout.
Like that's not my issue.
The hard part is the outdoorpiece.
The hard part is like waking upbefore sunrise, which I do
anyway, but like, I'm not gonnago outside and take a walk
(30:45):
before the sunrises because Ijust.
I've seen too many true crimedocumentaries with girls going
missing.
And I don't even live in like adangerous neighborhood.
Like I'm fine.
I just don't wanna be outside inthe we hours of the morning.
So I'm actually looking forwardto daylight savings for once in
my life where the clocks willroll forward and it will be
(31:06):
light outside at 5:00 AM thehard part has not been
necessarily the two separateworkouts, but it's more so been
trying to fit the outdoor oneout.
But thankfully the weather isstill really nice here in New
York, and that's also why doingthe challenge this time.
In the fall, as opposed to whenI've tried this before in the
(31:27):
dead of winter, like literallyJanuary 1st, 2022.
I was like, I'm doing 75.
Hard starting on the first dayof the year.
I barely made it to day 12.
Dying.
Okay.
Dying with a capital exclamationmark because I could not figure
out the outdoor workouts.
What do you mean?
I have to go outside whenthere's snow on the ground?
(31:49):
If I can help it.
No, let alone sweat.
So yeah, I think I can do itthis year.
I've just been very intentionalthis week around like going for
long walks.
I'm using work even as anopportunity, like on my lunch
break, going for a 45 minutewalk.
I can squeeze that in and stillbe on time.
(32:09):
For my next class, that I teach.
It's just gamifying it, right?
Like it's just finding ways tosneak these things in.
What errands do you have?
Walk Literally go walk.
Like I walked all the way fromdowntown.
If you don't live in New York,this might not make sense, but I
walked basically to a Sephorathat was 45 minutes away from
(32:32):
where I was at the time, eventhough there was a Sephora right
in front of me.
Like I walked all the way to theone in Midtown, in Harold
Square.
Because I was like, I gotta getthis walk-in.
So just finding ways to like fitit in is helpful.
Make the process fun for you ifyou're struggling with thinking
(32:53):
how you can work out, beyonddoing this challenge, like if
you're with someone that's like,I don't know how to work out,
like find ways to like.
Get a walk-in, that counts,start somewhere.
The second workout Iconsistently do is Pilates or
bar or some kind of likestrength training.
And once again, it's not for meabout changing my body, it's
about moving it, and it's aboutreminding myself what it feels
(33:15):
like to be strong andintentional.
So rule number two.
You gotta get those 2 45 minuteworkouts in.
One must be outdoors.
Oh, and it can't be consecutive.
It can't like be a 90 minuteworkout.
And then you're like, I'm donefor the day.
I think there has to be some.
Period of time in between towhere your body can reset.
(33:36):
I'm assuming the intention isthere is a whole book that I
have not read for thischallenge.
I'm just looking at all of thefree resources out there where
they break down the rules.
But yeah, my interpretation ofthe rule is that,
the-sober-butterfly_16_10 (33:49):
Rule number three, and this rule,
surprisingly, this round has notbeen as challenging, but in the
past has gotten me out.
Okay?
This is the rule that gets meout.
You've gotta drink a gallon ofwater.
I feel like that should be easy,but like in the past it has not
been easy, but I have actuallythis time really been doing a
(34:10):
good job of drinking a gallon ofwater a day.
I know I was not drinking enoughwater before, but now I just
carry my giant Stanley Cuparound with me.
It's so funny, guys.
Actually, I'm gonna show you ifyou're watching the show, I
purchased on Amazon a gallonwater bottle because I was like,
oh, I can just take this gallonwater bottle with me everywhere,
(34:31):
and then I know that when it'sfinished.
I have accomplished that rulefor the day.
Jokes on me.
Wait until you see how big thiswater bottle is.
Okay.
In case you were wondering ifyou didn't know, I can't even
fit it into frame.
This is a gallon, it has a wholehandle.
Okay.
Like a handle, like you'recarrying a weight because you
(34:53):
are, it is heavy.
The bottle itself, it's hollow.
It's like, a fake Stanley.
This one is not a real Stanley.
Anyway, I bought this waterbottle with every intention of
bringing it with me.
The road, and that would be theworkout, just carrying the water
bottle.
So I don't do that.
Instead I take my like literStanley cup and I fill it up
(35:16):
four times a day.
So whatever, it might not be aliter.
I'm not good at math, but I didthe math before, so I just have
to drink four of those.
And so I make sure I get in oneto two or like one and a half of
those.
Drinks before I even leave thehouse, because as you can
imagine, I'm peeing all day andone of my biggest fears is like,
(35:36):
i'm gonna pee myself out inpublic.
Like that's a real fear that Ithink a lot of New Yorkers have
just because, like imagine therehave been times when I've left
work like, oh, I'm just gonna, Ican hold it.
I can just hold it.
Like you just think you leavesomewhere, leave home or work,
and you're like, I can hold it.
But then.
You get stuck under the subwaythere's a delay on the subway
and I don't know, like you peeyour pants.
(35:57):
Like I, that's a fear I have.
It's never happened in the 11ish years I've lived in New
York, but it could happen.
And so I'm always like paranoidabout peeing myself in public.
It's a real fear that keeps meup at night.
So anyway, I make sure I drinklike as much water as I can
before I leave the house so thatI can pee as much as possible.
(36:19):
And then I just break it up likeby the end of my workday, I
should have drank at leastanother one and a half, which is
now at three.
And then by the time I get home,I'm drinking the fourth cup,
which is a gallon.
Yeah, it actually has beenpretty easy this time.
So you gotta drink your gallonof water and I think my skin
truly is just glowing, like it'sonly been five, six days and I'm
(36:42):
like, I can see the difference.
I also got a facial this weekthough.
Maybe that's it.
But things are working inculmination.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10- (36:50):
rule number four, read 10 pages of a
self-improvement book.
You can choose whatever book youwant.
I am reading Atomic Habits.
I actually have it here, or Ihave the cover here for you
guys.
The book is in my bag.
Atomic Habits by James Clear.
This is the perfect book for achallenge like this.
I've read it before, but it wasa while ago.
(37:12):
And really the book is justabout small actions that can add
up to a big change.
And yeah, this rule is.
Easy for me.
I read all the time.
Although I'm more of a fictiongirly, I do love
self-development orself-improvement books.
And so this book is supposed tohelp reshape the way you think
(37:32):
about about progress, and alsothen give you the tools and
techniques you need to transformyour habits.
It's that 1% better everydaymindset.
And that's what it's about forme, like not perfection.
Progress and these small tweakswith time will appreciate into
(37:54):
real and hopefully lastingchange.
Rule number five, take a daily
progress picture.
This one was the hardest for me,actually.
I'm joking.
This one is the easiest.
You guys, I, I, I do this forfree.
I do this even when I'm not apart of the challenge.
(38:14):
Okay.
It's not necessarily a progresspicture, but i'm taking daily.
Selfies.
You guys see them on myInstagram.
If you're following me prePilates, post Pilates, snap.
Um, so yeah, I am doing that.
So every day I take a progresspicture.
I don't know if you, if you haveto like post it somewhere.
I'm not always posting, but I amtaking daily photos.
(38:37):
So I think it's just a greatdocumentation piece.
It's not about perfection oraesthetics.
It's proof that you showed upeven on days when you didn't
feel like it.
And then after the 75 days, youhave like a very clear
chronology of your progress.
So yeah.
Rule number five, take dailyprogress.
(38:57):
Picture rule number six.
This one is equally important tothe other five.
No excuses.
No compromises.
You either do it or you don't.
You either drank a gallon ofwater or you didn't.
You either read 10 pages or youdidn't.
(39:17):
There's no bargaining and for mereally trying to finish this
challenge.
By January 1st, 2026, there'sno, I will start over or I'll
start again next time.
Like, no, it is simpleaccountability.
And there's no middle ground.
The extremist in me just lovesthat because it's very clear,
it's very black and white.
(39:38):
You did it or you didn't.
the-sober-butterfly_16_10-2 (39:43):
now I want to invite you to try
something too.
You don't have to do 75 hard,maybe you do 75 Soft.
In fact, my mother is currentlydoing 75 soft.
I'm so proud of her.
She was here this weekend and wehad a very cute mother-daughter
weekend here in the city andjust explored.
(40:04):
We went to Broadway, we wentbike riding.
We had dinner, we went toBathhouse, which is like our
favorite activity, just toluxuriate all day in the sauna.
And since she was here, she alsostarted the challenge with me,
but she's doing the 75 softversion.
So the 75 soft version is.
Essentially the same as the 75.
(40:24):
Hard, just like the rules are abit more flexible.
Instead, for example of doingtwo workouts a day, you only
have to do 1 45 minute workout.
And my mom was so committed,like I told her I was starting
before she got here, obviouslybecause.
You gotta give people heads upwith these things like, you
know, like she's gonna be herewith me, staying with me.
Like, you know, she's gonna beseeing me do all these things.
(40:45):
And she was so game to do it.
She even bought a workbook.
A 75 soft workbook that shedelivered to her, actually to my
house.
And yeah, she's being consistentherself and.
I love that.
I have to catch up with myfriend.
I think she's also one of mygirlfriends.
Kailyn is doing it as well.
So yeah.
I'm gonna invite you the pointisn't to be perfect.
(41:06):
It's just to prove to yourselfthat you can keep a promise to
yourself.
So if you are interested or havequestions or wanna join me, tag
me on Instagram at@the.soberbutterfly, let's make
a hashtag.
Use the hashtag pound.
Do people say pound still?
Hashtag 75.
Sober Butterfly Challenge.
(41:27):
So I can follow your progressand also cheer you on.
Let's finish the year strongtogether.
Thank you butterflies forspending this time with me.
Next week I'm gonna be fillingyou guys in with like my budding
love life.
I'll say, I don't know, budding.
We'll see.
I'll let you guys know next weekbecause I'm actually going outta
(41:49):
town this weekend to see a guyand yeah, I'll be sharing all of
that.
Until then, drink your water.
Keep your promises and rememberthat discipline is the highest
form of self love.
I will see you guys next Friday.
Stay strong, stay soft and staysober.
(42:10):
Butterflies, what a tonguetwister.
That outro has to change?
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com