June 20, 2024 • 38 mins
In this episode of The Sober Butterfly, Nadine discusses tips and tricks for achieving a summer glow up. Covering topics such as physical well-being through nutrition, and exercise, Nadine shares her personal goals and strategies. She also delves into skincare and emotional well-being, emphasizing the importance of journaling and surrounding oneself with positive influences.
The episode features a sponsor segment from Jolie, promoting their filtered showerhead for healthier skin and hair.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:10 The Summer Glow Up: It's Not Too Late!
01:35 Physical Well-being: The Foundation of a Glow Up
04:09 Nutrition: The Key to Sustainable Weight Loss
10:45 Exercise: Finding a Routine You Love
16:07 Skincare: Lessons from Personal Experience
19:04 Personalized Skincare Routine
20:18 Hydration Tips for Glowing Skin
21:08 The Importance of a Skincare Routine
21:42 The Benefits of Monthly Facials
22:18 Introducing Our Sponsor: Jolie
22:42 Emotional Well-being: Journaling
26:03 Self-Care Priorities
27:09 Building Positive Connections
29:30 Mental Well-being and Goal Setting
37:07 Sober Summer: Enhancing Your Glow Up
38:06 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services refereed to in this episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
the-sober-butterfly_6_06 (00:00):
Hello, hello.
Welcome to another episode ofThe Sober Butterfly.
I am your host, Nadine Mulvina.
Welcome back.
If you're new here, welcome.
I'm so excited today to betalking about one of my favorite
topics, the summer glow up.
Today's the first day of summer,so we are right on time.
And if you think maybe youmissed the boat because
(00:21):
everyone's been talking aboutthe summer glow up, it's very
trendy right now.
It's having a moment.
Um, I am here to assure you, youare not too late.
You are right on time.
Okay?
We are going to get you rightwhere you need to be by the time
you need to be there.
So whether you're prepping foryour ultimate Euro vacation, or
maybe you're getting ready foryour best friend's wedding, or
(00:43):
maybe you just want to becomethe very best version of
yourself, let me be your guide.
Today, I want to share some tipsand tricks to help you get to
the very best version ofyourself.
so let's get glowing.
the-sober-butterfly_7_06-19-2 (00:57):
I had to back the camera way up
because I cut off like half ofmy forehead.
Sorry about that.
If you're listening at home,this is a great plug to remind
you that I have a YouTubechannel so you can find me at
The Sober Butterfly.
Yeah, let's get going.
Actually, before we get going, aquick word from today's
sponsors.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06- (01:19):
This episode is brought to you by
Jolie.
Jolie is the amazing filteredshower head that will leave your
skin feeling fresher andhealthier than ever.
More on that later.
But trust me when I say you aregoing to love it.
All right, let's get started forreal.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06 (01:35):
Let's kick things off with physical
well being.
This is often the first thing Ithink people think of when they
hear glow up.
And for good reason, taking careof your body, taking care of
your outward physical appearancecan make a huge difference in
how you feel, how you show up,how you present yourself.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06-19 (01:55):
My goals as they relate to my
physical well being and mysummer glow up are aligned to
weight loss.
I'm just a girl.
Like every girl freaking wantsto lose weight.
But for me, um, I want to beintentional.
I have struggled withobsessively weighing myself, so
I try not to get on the scaletoo often.
So right now, as it standstoday, I don't know how much I
(02:16):
weigh, but I can always tell howI feel based off of how my
clothes fit me.
I'm very much concerned aboutresults.
Like I like results and I feellike when you weigh yourself,
like your weight fluctuates somuch depending on, you know,
what you ate, the time in whichyou ate said foods or,
waterweight bloating, thingsthat are sometimes out of our
control.
(02:36):
So I don't think weight isalways an accurate measure of
your goals, like your progressgoals.
So I don't like to weigh myselfvery often and I don't think
it's always reflective ofactually how I look.
And so for me, inches just makesmore sense.
I'm looking at measuring,literally taking a tape measurer
and measuring my waist,measuring my arms, my legs, my
(02:59):
thighs, things like that,because I actually think that's
more.
accurate, more telling in termsof what weight loss would look
like for me.
So I'll be taking mymeasurements on a weekly basis
between now and my upcoming tripthis summer.
So this summer I'm traveling toGreece, I'm going to Italy, and
I'm going to Turkey.
(03:20):
And that's towards the end ofAugust.
So between now, which is June20th to August 19th is when I
leave, that gives me a nicechunk of time to strive towards
losing, I would say, between 5to 10 inches.
Overall around my body.
I think that's healthy.
(03:41):
I think that's attainable thatprobably equates to like
anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds Sofor me, it feels better than
like hopping on the scale dailyAnd obsessing about why my
weight changed or why my weighthasn't changed.
I think it's just moreindicative of like muscle mass
and things like that So I won'tbe weighing myself really
throughout this process but Iwill be taking my measurements
(04:04):
on a weekly basis
the-sober-butterfly_20_06- (04:06):
Step one for helping me achieve my
goal.
And my weight loss goals isconnected to nutrition,
nutrition, nutrition, nutrition.
I recall being a pretty younggirl, probably like early teens
and watching the Tyra BanksShow.
Tyra herself, I felt like herweight fluctuated quite a bit.
(04:27):
And there was a point where shewent through like this somewhat
drastic weight loss journey.
And I remember she reported,happily reported on her purple
couch, how she lost all thisweight.
And she was like, you guys, Ifound the secret.
And the secret is 30 percentworking out 70 percent what you
eat or your diet.
(04:48):
And I remember as a little girlbeing like, Oh, that sucks
because I love to eat.
I love to eat, you guys.
I love to eat.
And, uh, I also love to workout.
So, even as a kid, like, I waschunky.
I was a chunky kid because I atewhatever I wanted, and nobody
really restricted me from doingso, and I remember watching that
(05:11):
and being like that sucksbecause you know in my mind I
Put working out maybe above likeeven what you ate Also being a
byproduct of The millennium, soa millennial girly, I have
struggled with disordered eatingand I think my disordered eating
is really like overcompensatingvia exercise because I've
(05:34):
overeaten I know that aboutmyself, so I have to be mindful
of these things, but I sharethat to say like nutrition is.
Essential and the thing is likeI know better.
I know what I need to do.
I just don't always do it And sonutrition really is a mindset
shift I feel like I don't evenlike the word diet because diet
just feels temporary diet feelsrestrictive diet feels Like oh
(05:59):
i'm just Reaching for thismilestone.
And once again, like I have atrip coming up and normally I do
diet before a trip because I'mlike, I have a trip coming up
and I want to look my best and Ican just do this thing and be
super restrictive for X amountof weeks.
And then I'll show up beingsnatched and mostly it works,
mostly it works, but I do feellike, you know, being 33, being
(06:23):
in my thirties, there's been ashift.
Like I can't just do somethingfor two weeks and then show up
looking a certain way.
It takes longer.
My body just doesn't respond inthe same way to things as it
used to.
I actually think it's a goodthing because the amount of
pressure I used to put my bodythrough.
(06:44):
Yeah, so it really is a mindsetshift.
I have to like love myself Ihave to embrace aspects of
myself that maybe I don't Like,if I'm being real, like, I love
myself in spite of the things Idon't love.
I think I have a chubby face.
I hate my jawline.
I hate my cheeks.
I'm not trying to make this ahate bashing session.
(07:05):
Like, I do love myself overall,but I have.
Things that I don't like aboutmy body and I think this glow up
process is really aboutEmbodying the type of person
that in spite of how I look I'malways going to love myself Like
I think that's the mindset shiftfor me as it pertains to
nutrition now That means I needto focus on fuel my body with
(07:29):
nourishing foods.
I need to believe that my bodydeserves healthy foods, whole
foods.
Think fresh fruits andvegetables and lean proteins and
plenty of water, likeconventional wisdom.
I know these things to be true.
A balanced diet gives you theenergy you need to stay active
and vibrant and to optimize myworkouts because I actually love
(07:52):
to work out and exercise, butit's sometimes really hard to
put conventional wisdom to usewhen you have lots of temptation
around you.
I am an extreme girly.
I will do something hard andfast and I will also burn out
hard and fast.
So a prime example of that is Itried to do the 75 hard twice
(08:15):
now and I have not completed ittwice now.
Um, because I think it's justtoo restrictive.
Like I could drink a gallon ofwater.
I could, you know, take progresspics.
I could even do the two workoutsa day and read 20 pages of
nonfiction.
Like that stuff was easy.
The hard part was really thenutritional plan.
And the thing is you get tochoose the nutritional plan and
(08:35):
I still struggled.
So the one nutritional plan thatI will say though, that has Been
the most consistent for me.
I think it's just like alignedto my everyday lifestyle choices
is the Mediterranean diet.
And it's funny cause I'm goingto the Mediterranean at the end
of the summer, which is like mybeacon of hope that I'll be like
(08:56):
my fully optimized, glowed upself by that time.
But yeah, the Mediterranean dietfor me feels the least
restrictive and therefore themost attainable.
So I already eat a ton of fish.
I'm not a huge meat eater, solike the red meat stuff doesn't
bother me.
I love, you know, eating riceand I love eating bread and I
(09:18):
love hummus and I just like thatstuff anyway.
Olives, um, I cook with oliveoil.
And so that's what I'm followingright now.
I'm not depriving myself withsweets.
I'm just cutting back becauseeverything good in moderation,
except for alcohol.
Alcohol is bad in any quantity.
I digress, so with nutrition,just the main thing to keep in
(09:39):
mind is you want to find a planthat actually works for you and
stick to it.
Okay.
Stick to it.
Stick to it.
And if you don't stick to it,give yourself grace and get
right back onto the diet plan.
I hate the word diet, thenutritional plan.
it's nutrients.
Your body needs nutrients.
Don't deprive it.
But also keep in mind whateveryour goals are, as it pertains
(10:02):
to your physical glow up, areyou going to get there if you
continue to eating what you'recurrently eating?
That's the question, right?
For me, it's like, I'm notoverweight.
My BMI is in line with myheight, but I know how I want to
look.
I know that I want to be myoptimal self this summer.
And so, yeah, I need to cut backmy carbs and my sugar intake.
(10:23):
Do I need to eliminate italtogether?
No, maybe, but no, I'm not goingto do that because I know myself
as well.
I know I'm just going to hatelife and like, that's not why
we're doing this.
So yeah.
Set yourself up for success, notfor failure.
Stick to a plan that isnourishing for your body and
that is actually sustainable foryou to maintain.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06 (10:44):
Okay.
Step two is find an exerciseplan or routine that you love.
Are you seeing a theme here?
You seeing a trend?
it's all about finding thingsthat actually serve you that
you're going to somewhat want todo.
I feel lucky in the sense that Ilove to exercise because I need
to exercise to be mentallystable.
(11:05):
But I know for most peoplethat's not the case.
But Exercise is something that Ilove and even I find times when
it's a struggle to exercise.
I exercise regularly, I wouldsay five to six times a week.
In certain eras of my life, I'vedefinitely exercised every day.
Do not recommend that.
Your body needs to rest yourbody needs to rest and so with
(11:27):
that being said I do a mixtureof different activities, but I
definitely take my rest days.
I love to run.
I do Pilates those are the twoconstants in my life.
And then I also once a week goto orange theory, which is a
HITT style workout.
Weight training is somethingthat I've more recently gotten
(11:47):
into.
I'm not a weights girly.
Like I'm not ever going to bethe one benching or like, I
don't know, doing the squatswith like the huge barbell.
No, that's not like my aestheticper se, but like I see value now
in strength training becausethey say when you strength
train, your body is Stillburning those calories.
(12:08):
Days from the actual initialtraining day, which is really
cool to think about sophysically, do I, oh, I have my
planner here.
Great.
I physically have my planner andI will write in quite literally
what my workouts are for thatday.
Like that is just something thatlike I have to do because it
(12:29):
holds me accountable.
There's something about havingsomething written down or you
can put it in your calendar orin your phone, but just having
it mapped out, like scheduled,I'm, I'm not going to break the
schedule.
I'm a schedule girl.
So yeah, that really helps me.
This is kind of against what Ijust said, but you can't wait
for motivation.
(12:50):
You just can't find somethingyou love.
But like, if you don't want towork out, you don't love to work
out.
Don't wait for the spirit tomove you.
It's never going to move you.
You don't like to work out.
So don't wait for the motivationto all of a sudden come crashing
down and all of a sudden you're.
You're a running girl.
Like that's not how it works.
You have to just push yourself.
It's almost like mechanical.
(13:11):
Just like, I don't love to go towork every day, right?
When that alarm clock goes off,I get up and I get ready for
work.
Same thing with your workout.
I can't wait to feel like I'mmotivated to go to my job
because then I probably never goand I would be unemployed So the
point I'm trying to make is pushyourself to do it Whether you
want to do it or not, you haveto depersonalize the idea of
(13:33):
working out if that's not yourthing Take out the emotion from
it.
It's just something that youhave to do And once you get into
that habit that mindset You'llsee that it becomes less
daunting.
Another tip I have for just sortof like getting more active in
your day to day is, um, Get yoursteps in I know right now we're
(13:54):
seeing a lot of people talkabout 10k a day steps and I love
that 10, 000 is a greatbaseline.
I live in a big city.
So for me, 10k is like a regularday, but you have to check in
with yourself, depending onwhere you live for me.
I'm always aiming for 15k plusdays because like I said, like,
I can seriously do 10k before 12o'clock.
(14:16):
Noon.
If you are getting on average 2ka day, don't even strive for
10k.
Like that's a big jump.
Strive for 5k.
You want to set yourself up forsuccess.
I already said that because it'sso true.
Like you will feel disheartenedif you set these really lofty
goals that are not sustainablefor yourself.
So yeah, set yourself up forsomething that's attainable and
(14:39):
then you can always move thethreshold or the meter higher as
you go.
And the last thing I'll say islike, there are great ways you
can sneak steps into your day.
I don't drive, so it's easy forme.
I don't have a car.
but if you do, like most peopledo, they drive everywhere.
It's like, as you're runningyour errands, like you go to
Target, We all scour for theclosest parking spot next to the
(15:04):
entrance.
Why don't you do the opposite?
Why don't you look for the onethat's furthest?
Okay, and then walk your happyself into target.
Walk around target and then walkright back to your car that's
parked half a mile away.
Like those are great ways tolike push yourself without even
like thinking about it so muchor overthinking about it just to
like get into those habits.
Take the stairs.
(15:25):
That's big for me.
I don't care how fit you are.
Everyone is winded going up aflight of stairs if there's an
escalator, the line is likewrapped around the corner,
everyone's trying to get on theescalator and I'm like, you know
what, I'm just going to take thestairs, I'm better than you.
No, but it kind of feels thatway.
You're like, yeah.
Looking at everyone just likepushing to get on the escalator.
(15:45):
And it's like, no, I want totake the stairs.
Thank you.
Move out my way.
I'm going up.
All right, that's all I have tosay about exercise So yeah Just
find ways to keep yourendorphins Flowing and keeping
yourself motivated by thingsthat you love and if you don't
love it, fake it, Just pushyourself to do it until you may
(16:05):
surprise yourself and actuallylike it
the-sober-butterfly_20_06-1 (16:08):
Now let's talk skincare.
But before actually we talkabout skincare.
I want to share a quick story.
So When I was in my teens my 20sI was that annoying girl that
would sleep in her makeupbecause I was hungover mostly
and I wouldn't like Wash myface.
Some days I was just like, Ididn't care about my skin is the
(16:29):
point I'm trying to make.
And even though I didn't careabout my skin, my skin loved me.
I would have glowing skin.
I never had a breakout.
I never had a pimple.
I was just annoying.
It's just like, how do you havethe skin?
You don't even care about it.
Definitely.
You don't deserve it.
and then something happened.
Around 30.
So like 29 going into 30.
(16:50):
I remember it was a pandemic.
My skin just rebelled.
It was just like, I'm tired ofyou treating me this way.
How dare you?
And it started to break, brokeout like nobody's business for
no, Known reason I still don'tknow to this day like what
happened or why it started tofreak out But it did it really
(17:13):
did and I didn't know what to dobecause I Had never had issues
with my skin before so it's likeif you've never had experience
dealing with skin care issues.
You don't really know what todo.
And so I would talk to some ofmy girlfriends and ask them what
to do.
I even went to a dermatologistand I never really got to the
(17:34):
root cause of what was happeningwith my skin, but it was bad.
and then I got sober.
I quit drinking alcohol, July5th, 2021, and it took some
time.
It wasn't like an overnight.
I want to be clear about that.
It wasn't like an overnightsnap.
My skin is.
back to what it looks like todayand what it looked like before.
(17:55):
It just, with time, cleared up.
And not only just cleared up,like, it started to glow.
Like, it started just to getthat sense of, like, that
youthfulness back to it.
I don't know what happened, butthe only thing I changed.
At that time was my consumptionof alcohol.
(18:16):
So we know that alcohol driesout your skin.
We know it can lead to otherlike impurities of the skin.
It's just a poison, like youingest poison.
It's bound to show up in manyways, I think my skin was just
finally having a hard timedetoxing quite literally the
amounts of alcohol.
I was drinking Anyway, so I justwant to share that so I'm
(18:38):
actually grateful for theexperience I had when struggling
with my skin because it forcedme to pay attention more to like
the products I was using.
And I realized I didn't reallyhave any rhyme or reason for why
I was using things.
I just bought things.
Things that were marketedbasically at me.
I was like, Oh, this, thisbottle is cute.
I'm going to buy this withoutlooking at the ingredients
(18:58):
without looking at like whattype of skin type it was
intended for.
I just would buy things.
Now.
I don't do that because it's awaste of money.
And also understand more what myskin needs to maintain itself.
And there's something about, youknow, turning 30, you just need
to pay more attention to thesethings.
(19:20):
You realize that you can't takeyour skin for granted.
You start to see things sag andwrinkles form, and you just want
to make sure that you'reoptimizing your skin.
Of course, there are cosmeticprocedures you can, implement
into your routine.
I haven't quite gone that routefully yet.
I'm not against it.
I just don't think I need itquite yet.
So I say a lot to say, findthings that work for you and
(19:43):
understand.
What your personalized skincareroutine should look like, look
for products that are aligned tothe type of skin that you have.
If you don't know your skintype, I'm a combo girl.
I so I have oily skin and I alsohave dry skin depending on the
season.
It's summer, so right now myskin is pretty oily.
So I buy products that arereflective of my type of skin.
(20:06):
So you can take quizzes, you canfind out what skin type you have
to really optimize your dollarand making sure that you're
buying the stuff that worksbecause skincare can be pricey.
Conventional wisdom coming inhot here, but drink tons of
water.
I like to add fresh lemon intomy water.
It is Chef's Kiss, the greatestthing I've done for myself.
(20:29):
I didn't hate the taste of waterbefore, but I realized I didn't
love it.
It doesn't taste like anything.
I know it doesn't taste likeanything, but like it kind of
does.
So, I now feel like I'm drinkinglemonade.
Remember, I have a sweet tooth.
Um, I feel like I'm drinkinglemonade.
It's just fresh lemon juice.
Lemon that I squeeze from ajuice.
Um, juice that I squeeze from alemon and yeah, I half it every
(20:53):
morning.
First thing that hits my stomachis ice cold lemon water.
I don't know about temperature.
Some people argue you shouldhave room temp.
It's summer.
It's hot.
I like my water to be freezingice cold.
So yeah, drink water.
Um, don't drink alcohol and Takecare of your skin, take off your
makeup, have some kind ofroutine.
(21:15):
I have an AM routine.
I have a PM routine for themorning and the evening.
If anyone wants to know thespecific products I'm using,
please let me know in thecomments below.
I will happily make anothervideo and link it or drop it in
the show notes to show you guyswhat things I'm actually using
because there's a lot of likenoise out there.
It's hard to sometimes decipherwhat you actually need versus
(21:38):
what you don't need.
But I would say, yeah, buythings that actually work for
your skin type.
And then if you can afford tosplurge a little bit facials.
Yeah, facials go a long way.
It does not have to be a weeklything.
I would love to get weeklyfacials, but it's not quite in
the budget.
So instead I do a facial once amonth and I can see a huge
(21:59):
difference in my skin as well.
Make sure you trust theesthetician who's actually
working on your skin and givesyou like real feedback about
like what things they recommendfor you.
Not just like, Oh, get thishydrating facial because
everyone's doing a hydratingfacial like making sure that
they actually recommend thingsthat make sense for your skin
type.
the-sober-butterfly_20 (22:18):
Speaking of glowing skin, I have to tell
you more about our sponsorJolie.
Their filtered showerhead is agame changer.
It removes chlorine and otherimpurities from your shower
water, leaving your skin andhair feeling softer and
healthier.
It's a small change that makes ahuge difference.
Trust me, you will love it.
Check out Jolie in the shownotes below to get ready to
(22:41):
glow.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06- (22:42):
Next up is emotional well being.
Your emotional health is just asimportant as your physical
health when it comes to a summerglow up.
So let's jump in withjournaling.
I know you know how importantjournaling can be to your
emotional well being.
I think just there's somethingpowerful about writing down your
(23:02):
feelings, writing down yourthoughts on paper.
And putting that to paper, Ithink, can help you process
emotions, especially when youreflect and you read back what
you've written.
A big part of my early sobrietywas writing down how I was
feeling.
I just had a rollercoaster rangeof emotions.
And it's actually a littlecomical now to look back at some
(23:25):
of the entries that I wrotethinking just like, who is this
drama queen?
Like, Is she writing for ChickenSoup for the, Sober Girlie?
Like, what is going on?
It was just so dramatic.
Um, but that's how I felt in themoment.
I journal twice a day.
Most days I'm not perfect, butmost days I try and journal in
the morning and at night.
So in the morning, I am on thego.
(23:46):
I get up pretty early because Ialso work out in the morning,
preferably.
So I don't have much time is thepoint.
I'm trying to make so my journalin the morning is a gratitude
journal.
I write down 3 things.
I'm grateful for every day.
I'm not going to lie.
1 of the 3 things is I'mgrateful to be here.
Life is a privilege and Irecognize that many people today
(24:07):
did not wake up and so I alwaysjournal top of my journal is I'm
grateful to be here and then Itry to find 2 other things that
I'm grateful for, which is supereasy to do.
At night, it's more freestyle.
Like I just jot down whathappened in the day.
Like it's sometimes a littlemanic but I reflect on Big
(24:27):
things that happened in my day.
There's like a prompt that I sawa long time ago in another
journal, which is like, what isa story worthy moment from the
day?
I think that's a great way tolike, kind of thumb through the
different archives of your mind.
Like, if you think about all ofthe experiences that we have in
our day, they may seem trivial.
They may seem mundane.
(24:49):
But there's always somethingthat happened in that day that
you can unlock.
And then I usually write thatmoment down.
And if nothing happened, I'mlike, wait, why is, why is
everything so boring?
Like, I feel like I lead a veryexciting life.
So if there were ever momentswhere I'm like stretching for
things that happened, I'm like,okay, well, tomorrow I'm going
to make something story worthyto write down in my journal.
(25:10):
So, yeah, um, step 1 isjournaling for that summer glow
up.
You are thinking positively andyou're doing some deep
introspection and reflecting andif you really struggle with
journaling, or if you just wantto flex your creativity, I would
say that you could even journalfrom the perspective of how
you're going to feel when youhit whatever milestones that
(25:30):
you've set or goals that you setfor yourself in the process of
becoming that girl.
Does that make sense?
So like, for me, like I said,for me, August 19th is like my
official glow up date.
That's how I'm seeing it, right?
Like, I'll be landing in Athens,Greece.
I'm like, okay, what am Italking about?
What am I thinking about?
Like, I don't know.
How am I like feeling in thismoment?
(25:50):
So you can kind of make somealmost like predictions about
what life is going to look likewhen you are in that full summer
glow up moment.
Try it.
I don't know.
I haven't tried that.
I'm going to try it and reportback.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06 (26:03):
Okay, next up we have self care, and
I've talked extensively aboutself care, so I'm going to keep
this one brief.
Make self care a priority,that's like the main message I
could deliver here.
This could be anything fromtaking a long bath, reading a
good book, spending time innature, going to Greece, Italy,
(26:24):
and Turkey.
Do what makes you feel good, andthat recharges your spirit, it
doesn't have to be expensive.
I have a whole episode aboutstop overspending.
on self care in sobriety,because if you're sober, we love
to do that.
We love to project our futurehappiness sometimes into like
physical things that will likefix our lives.
And that's just not the case,right?
(26:46):
Self care really does come fromwithin.
So keep that in mind andprioritize making an effort to
do something for yourself.
Every single day.
Your self care could be thiswhole journey you're going
through right now.
This whole glow up journey forsummer is your self care, but
like what actionable steps areyou taking every day to get
there.
(27:07):
Moving into step three.
Step three is all aboutconnections.
I think surrounding yourselfwith positive people is probably
one of the most important.
impactful things you can do touplift yourself and inspire you
through this journey.
I feel that way about life ingeneral, but especially as
you're in this transitiontransformation process.
(27:30):
Why do you have people aroundyou who don't support that glow
up?
Why do you have people aroundyou who are doubting your
ability to become whateverversion of self that you want to
become?
Why do you have people who areholding you back?
If you thought about a personwith those questions, I need you
to steer clear of them.
I'm not going to tell you whatto do, but I highly recommend
(27:51):
that you distance yourself,there is discomfort in The
unknown there is discomfort inchange.
And so you're doing thingsdifferently.
You're moving differently.
People are going to respond tothat.
However, they may see it.
They could see it as a threat.
Oh, this person's changing.
Therefore, our dynamic willchange.
(28:14):
That could be literally whatthey're thinking.
So it's not always like illintended.
Like, oh, I don't want thisperson to glow up.
Um, it could just be this ideathat, like, they don't like this
person.
Posed threat, you're talkingabout going to the gym and
eating right and going on trips,like, they don't like that
because where do they fit inthat equation?
So, I would say you just need tomove differently right now,
(28:37):
baby.
Like, you have to make sure thatyou're surrounding yourself with
people who are not hinderingthat progress because we
ourselves can also act assometimes a deterrent or even
self sabotage ourselves in ourprogress because, as mentioned,
We don't like the unfamiliar.
We don't like discomfort.
We don't like change.
That's just, as humans, that'show we operate on a baseline.
(28:59):
So your body, your mind, Ishould say, could potentially be
trying to deter you from doingthe hard work on yourself for
that holistic transformation,that summer glow up.
So you need to make sure thatyou are also mindful that
sometimes we can be our ownworst enemy and default to
surrounding ourselves aroundpeople who we know better.
(29:21):
We know we shouldn't be hangingwith them.
Just in general, building stronghealthy relationships is
integral to emotional wellbeing.
Okay, lastly, let's focus on mental
wellbeing, keeping your mindsharp and positive is crucial
for your complete glow up.
So number one, we kind ofalready touched on this goals,
(29:43):
set those personal goals for thesummer, having something to
strive towards.
Like a vacation, a wedding cankeep you motivated and focused.
If you don't have a big lifeevent coming up, that's fine.
Still.
I want you to think about adate, circle that in your
calendar, and strive towardsthat date.
And then when we get to thatdate, check in with yourself.
How do you feel?
(30:04):
Have you accomplished some ofthe goals that you set forth for
yourself?
It's just nice to have somethingto work towards something that's
like tangible that's coming upin the near future, I think is a
great place to start.
And if you can't think of adate, just choose mine.
August 19th, baby, let's do it.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06- (30:22):
step two is read a nonfiction book.
I think I mentioned already thatI did 75 hard or I did not do 75
hard.
I attempted 75 hard.
And one of my favorite rulesthat they had was read 20 pages
or 10 pages, I'm sorry, of anonfiction book a day.
That was transformational forme.
(30:44):
I love to read, but I'm afiction girly.
So forcing myself to read anonfiction book Every single day
was groundbreaking.
It really opened my mind to,like, personal development and
things that, I hadn't quiteconsidered on my own.
Now I'm always reading anonfiction book.
(31:05):
when I was doing 75 hard I readThe mountain is you by Brianna
West.
And that book was really helpfulbecause it talked all about self
sabotage and I recognized inBrianna's writing how much I
related to many of the conceptsthat she discussed around self
sabotage and how so much of itcan be connected to like
(31:26):
childhood wounds or just likecoping mechanisms, trauma, all
of that.
So yeah, highly recommend thatbook if you're looking for a
book around personal developmentbecause we all I think can fall
prey to being our own worstenemy.
So read a personal developmentor nonfiction book.
(31:48):
I would say tailor it around anarea of your life that needs
improvement.
So, for example, if you'restruggling with your finances,
find a book.
Around financial literacy, ifyou're struggling with time
management, find a book relatedto executive functioning and
things like that.
So you just want to findsomething that.
It's connected to an area likeof life.
(32:09):
That is an opportunity for youto grow.
we don't need to keep sharpeningour skills around things that
we're great at already.
We want to glow up this summer.
And so the best way to do thatis to educate ourselves in new
ways and not just continue toread the same type of books that
we are accustomed to.
And if you don't read books atall, no shame, this is a great
(32:31):
opportunity for you to flex thatmuscle and start actually
connecting to, new mediums.
I do like audiobooks.
I listen to audiobooks all thetime when I'm commuting to work
or even when I'm running or whenI'm cleaning.
But the way my brain works, theprocessing is not as powerful as
when I actually read the writtenword.
(32:51):
I'm a visual person.
What can I say?
So I like the act of having aphysical book in front of me.
Right now I'm reading F theFairytale by Demona Hoffman.
I actually got to meet her thisJanuary at a conference and she
was amazing.
She even inscribed the book tome, which was really cute and I
was excited.
And it's all about, you probablyguessed it, forget the fairytale
(33:14):
guys.
It's a book about dating becauseI think that's an area of my
life that I can grow in, datingand relationships.
So yeah.
Um, I'll let you know maybe in aseparate video, how that book
went and if I see anyimprovements with my dating love
life this summer.
Step three, is make a Pinterest
board.
It's fun.
(33:34):
If anything, it's just a fun,like, arts and craft type of
activity you can do, now thatyou've heard the full episode,
maybe you'll have a clearersense of like, what you can pin,
but I recommend pinning images,quotes, any inspo that really
resonates with the person thatyou're becoming and this will
serve as a visual representationthat can become a really
(33:56):
powerful motivator for youthroughout this tenure of time.
I use my glow up my summer glowup Pinterest board as My
screensaver for my desktop so itjust is a constant reminder
that, like, I am becoming, I ambecoming, this best version of
myself this summer, August 19th.
(34:19):
I'm going to check back in withyou guys and let you know how my
progress has gone.
As we wrap up this episode, somy physical goals, I want to
lose 5 to 10 inches this summerthrough obviously my nutrition,
consistent exercise, and justreally being mindful of all of
the things that are nourishingfor my body when it comes to my
(34:41):
emotional well being, my goalsfor myself are related to.
the-sober-butterfly (34:45):
Surrounding myself with people that I want
to feel inspired by.
Like, I have a network here.
I have friends here.
I have peers here, but like, Idon't know if I, Have like my
core group, like the dynamics inNew York changed so much with
the pandemic.
A lot of people left, a lot ofnew people came, but I felt like
(35:09):
I lost my core group of friendsand I don't think I really have
found that again.
I think getting sober changedand shifted some relationships.
Of course, I have like reallyclose friends.
I have best friends, but theydon't live here.
they don't live near me.
And so, yeah, I think a focusfor me this summer is going to
be connected to finding myPeople and lastly my mental Well
(35:32):
being goals are going to beconnected to more mindfulness
practice Like I already read aton.
I already set goals for myselfAnd I've set goals for this,
glow up, but look, I don'treally have a mindfulness
practice.
So I'm going to give meditationanother go.
I really struggle with quietingmy mind.
You guys, um, you probably canguess that I'm a talker.
(35:54):
Imagine what's going on up here.
Like it's just.
Like a never ending stream ofthoughts.
And so I would love to recentermyself and learn to connect with
my mind, body, and spirit And Ithink a great way to do that
from what I've been told andwhat I probably know to be true
already is through meditationSo.
Yeah, I'm going to be working onthat as well this summer.
(36:17):
So those are my goals for mysummer glow up I would love to
hear some of your goals tell methe physical tell me the
emotional tell me the mental Iwant to hear them drop them in
the comments below I would loveto connect with you guys about
just how are we are doing withour summer glow up.
Um, this is a process.
There is no like, enddestination, but we do have our
(36:41):
check in date.
So also feel free to drop yourcheck in date.
You guys already know mine isAugust 19th and we can see how
we're doing.
I would love to be likeaccountability partners or
buddies in this system.
So let me know what you'restriving for or working towards
and what your goals are below.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06-1 (37:00):
and of course, I'd be remiss to not
talk a little bit more in depthabout something very close to my
heart.
Having a sober summer, alcoholmight seem like a staple of
summer fun, but trust me when Isay you do not need it to have a
good time.
In fact, ditching alcohol canenhance your glow up in so many
ways.
(37:21):
You'll have more energy, clearerskin, better sleep, improved
mental clarity.
Plus, you get to be fullypresent to enjoy every moment of
your summer adventures.
If you're looking foralternatives, you can opt for
refreshing mocktails, sparklingwater, ice herbal teas.
There are just so many deliciousand festive non alcoholic
(37:42):
options on market.
So let's just cheers to ahealthier, happier you.
And if you want somerecommendations, please let me
know below.
I'm happy to make another videoshowcasing, showcasing some of
my.
favorite non alcoholic beveragesto drink this summer.
I just actually finished my barcart, so I'll be showing you
(38:03):
guys what that looks likeanother time as well.
All right, beauties, that's a wrap
on our summer glow up episode.
Remember, a true glow up isabout nurturing yourself inside
and out.
Focus on your physical,emotional, and mental well
being, get some exciting newgoals, and don't forget to stay
sober and shine even brighter.
(38:25):
Thank you to our sponsor, Jolie,for supporting this episode.
Be sure to check out theirfiltered shower head for an
extra boost to your glow uproutine.
If you enjoyed this episode,please subscribe if you're
watching on YouTube if you'relistening from home, leave a
review and share it with yourfriends, follow me on social
media@the.soberbutterfly formore tips and inspiration until
(38:48):
next time, stay amazing and keepglowing.
Bye.
Hello, hello.
Welcome to another episode ofThe Sober Butterfly.
I am your host, Nadine Mulvina.
Welcome back.
If you're new here, welcome.
I'm so excited today to betalking about one of my favorite
topics, the summer glow up.
Today's the first day of summer,so we are right on time.
And if you think maybe youmissed the boat because
(00:21):
everyone's been talking aboutthe summer glow up, it's very
trendy right now.
It's having a moment.
Um, I am here to assure you, youare not too late.
You are right on time.
Okay?
We are going to get you rightwhere you need to be by the time
you need to be there.
So whether you're prepping foryour ultimate Euro vacation, or
maybe you're getting ready foryour best friend's wedding, or
(00:43):
maybe you just want to becomethe very best version of
yourself, let me be your guide.
Today, I want to share some tipsand tricks to help you get to
the very best version ofyourself.
so let's get glowing.
the-sober-butterfly_7_06-19-2 (00:57):
I had to back the camera way up
because I cut off like half ofmy forehead.
Sorry about that.
If you're listening at home,this is a great plug to remind
you that I have a YouTubechannel so you can find me at
The Sober Butterfly.
Yeah, let's get going.
Actually, before we get going, aquick word from today's
sponsors.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06- (01:19):
This episode is brought to you by
Jolie.
Jolie is the amazing filteredshower head that will leave your
skin feeling fresher andhealthier than ever.
More on that later.
But trust me when I say you aregoing to love it.
All right, let's get started forreal.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06 (01:35):
Let's kick things off with physical
well being.
This is often the first thing Ithink people think of when they
hear glow up.
And for good reason, taking careof your body, taking care of
your outward physical appearancecan make a huge difference in
how you feel, how you show up,how you present yourself.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06-19 (01:55):
My goals as they relate to my
physical well being and mysummer glow up are aligned to
weight loss.
I'm just a girl.
Like every girl freaking wantsto lose weight.
But for me, um, I want to beintentional.
I have struggled withobsessively weighing myself, so
I try not to get on the scaletoo often.
So right now, as it standstoday, I don't know how much I
(02:16):
weigh, but I can always tell howI feel based off of how my
clothes fit me.
I'm very much concerned aboutresults.
Like I like results and I feellike when you weigh yourself,
like your weight fluctuates somuch depending on, you know,
what you ate, the time in whichyou ate said foods or,
waterweight bloating, thingsthat are sometimes out of our
control.
(02:36):
So I don't think weight isalways an accurate measure of
your goals, like your progressgoals.
So I don't like to weigh myselfvery often and I don't think
it's always reflective ofactually how I look.
And so for me, inches just makesmore sense.
I'm looking at measuring,literally taking a tape measurer
and measuring my waist,measuring my arms, my legs, my
(02:59):
thighs, things like that,because I actually think that's
more.
accurate, more telling in termsof what weight loss would look
like for me.
So I'll be taking mymeasurements on a weekly basis
between now and my upcoming tripthis summer.
So this summer I'm traveling toGreece, I'm going to Italy, and
I'm going to Turkey.
(03:20):
And that's towards the end ofAugust.
So between now, which is June20th to August 19th is when I
leave, that gives me a nicechunk of time to strive towards
losing, I would say, between 5to 10 inches.
Overall around my body.
I think that's healthy.
(03:41):
I think that's attainable thatprobably equates to like
anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds Sofor me, it feels better than
like hopping on the scale dailyAnd obsessing about why my
weight changed or why my weighthasn't changed.
I think it's just moreindicative of like muscle mass
and things like that So I won'tbe weighing myself really
throughout this process but Iwill be taking my measurements
(04:04):
on a weekly basis
the-sober-butterfly_20_06- (04:06):
Step one for helping me achieve my
goal.
And my weight loss goals isconnected to nutrition,
nutrition, nutrition, nutrition.
I recall being a pretty younggirl, probably like early teens
and watching the Tyra BanksShow.
Tyra herself, I felt like herweight fluctuated quite a bit.
(04:27):
And there was a point where shewent through like this somewhat
drastic weight loss journey.
And I remember she reported,happily reported on her purple
couch, how she lost all thisweight.
And she was like, you guys, Ifound the secret.
And the secret is 30 percentworking out 70 percent what you
eat or your diet.
(04:48):
And I remember as a little girlbeing like, Oh, that sucks
because I love to eat.
I love to eat, you guys.
I love to eat.
And, uh, I also love to workout.
So, even as a kid, like, I waschunky.
I was a chunky kid because I atewhatever I wanted, and nobody
really restricted me from doingso, and I remember watching that
(05:11):
and being like that sucksbecause you know in my mind I
Put working out maybe above likeeven what you ate Also being a
byproduct of The millennium, soa millennial girly, I have
struggled with disordered eatingand I think my disordered eating
is really like overcompensatingvia exercise because I've
(05:34):
overeaten I know that aboutmyself, so I have to be mindful
of these things, but I sharethat to say like nutrition is.
Essential and the thing is likeI know better.
I know what I need to do.
I just don't always do it And sonutrition really is a mindset
shift I feel like I don't evenlike the word diet because diet
just feels temporary diet feelsrestrictive diet feels Like oh
(05:59):
i'm just Reaching for thismilestone.
And once again, like I have atrip coming up and normally I do
diet before a trip because I'mlike, I have a trip coming up
and I want to look my best and Ican just do this thing and be
super restrictive for X amountof weeks.
And then I'll show up beingsnatched and mostly it works,
mostly it works, but I do feellike, you know, being 33, being
(06:23):
in my thirties, there's been ashift.
Like I can't just do somethingfor two weeks and then show up
looking a certain way.
It takes longer.
My body just doesn't respond inthe same way to things as it
used to.
I actually think it's a goodthing because the amount of
pressure I used to put my bodythrough.
(06:44):
Yeah, so it really is a mindsetshift.
I have to like love myself Ihave to embrace aspects of
myself that maybe I don't Like,if I'm being real, like, I love
myself in spite of the things Idon't love.
I think I have a chubby face.
I hate my jawline.
I hate my cheeks.
I'm not trying to make this ahate bashing session.
(07:05):
Like, I do love myself overall,but I have.
Things that I don't like aboutmy body and I think this glow up
process is really aboutEmbodying the type of person
that in spite of how I look I'malways going to love myself Like
I think that's the mindset shiftfor me as it pertains to
nutrition now That means I needto focus on fuel my body with
(07:29):
nourishing foods.
I need to believe that my bodydeserves healthy foods, whole
foods.
Think fresh fruits andvegetables and lean proteins and
plenty of water, likeconventional wisdom.
I know these things to be true.
A balanced diet gives you theenergy you need to stay active
and vibrant and to optimize myworkouts because I actually love
(07:52):
to work out and exercise, butit's sometimes really hard to
put conventional wisdom to usewhen you have lots of temptation
around you.
I am an extreme girly.
I will do something hard andfast and I will also burn out
hard and fast.
So a prime example of that is Itried to do the 75 hard twice
(08:15):
now and I have not completed ittwice now.
Um, because I think it's justtoo restrictive.
Like I could drink a gallon ofwater.
I could, you know, take progresspics.
I could even do the two workoutsa day and read 20 pages of
nonfiction.
Like that stuff was easy.
The hard part was really thenutritional plan.
And the thing is you get tochoose the nutritional plan and
(08:35):
I still struggled.
So the one nutritional plan thatI will say though, that has Been
the most consistent for me.
I think it's just like alignedto my everyday lifestyle choices
is the Mediterranean diet.
And it's funny cause I'm goingto the Mediterranean at the end
of the summer, which is like mybeacon of hope that I'll be like
(08:56):
my fully optimized, glowed upself by that time.
But yeah, the Mediterranean dietfor me feels the least
restrictive and therefore themost attainable.
So I already eat a ton of fish.
I'm not a huge meat eater, solike the red meat stuff doesn't
bother me.
I love, you know, eating riceand I love eating bread and I
(09:18):
love hummus and I just like thatstuff anyway.
Olives, um, I cook with oliveoil.
And so that's what I'm followingright now.
I'm not depriving myself withsweets.
I'm just cutting back becauseeverything good in moderation,
except for alcohol.
Alcohol is bad in any quantity.
I digress, so with nutrition,just the main thing to keep in
(09:39):
mind is you want to find a planthat actually works for you and
stick to it.
Okay.
Stick to it.
Stick to it.
And if you don't stick to it,give yourself grace and get
right back onto the diet plan.
I hate the word diet, thenutritional plan.
it's nutrients.
Your body needs nutrients.
Don't deprive it.
But also keep in mind whateveryour goals are, as it pertains
(10:02):
to your physical glow up, areyou going to get there if you
continue to eating what you'recurrently eating?
That's the question, right?
For me, it's like, I'm notoverweight.
My BMI is in line with myheight, but I know how I want to
look.
I know that I want to be myoptimal self this summer.
And so, yeah, I need to cut backmy carbs and my sugar intake.
(10:23):
Do I need to eliminate italtogether?
No, maybe, but no, I'm not goingto do that because I know myself
as well.
I know I'm just going to hatelife and like, that's not why
we're doing this.
So yeah.
Set yourself up for success, notfor failure.
Stick to a plan that isnourishing for your body and
that is actually sustainable foryou to maintain.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06 (10:44):
Okay.
Step two is find an exerciseplan or routine that you love.
Are you seeing a theme here?
You seeing a trend?
it's all about finding thingsthat actually serve you that
you're going to somewhat want todo.
I feel lucky in the sense that Ilove to exercise because I need
to exercise to be mentallystable.
(11:05):
But I know for most peoplethat's not the case.
But Exercise is something that Ilove and even I find times when
it's a struggle to exercise.
I exercise regularly, I wouldsay five to six times a week.
In certain eras of my life, I'vedefinitely exercised every day.
Do not recommend that.
Your body needs to rest yourbody needs to rest and so with
(11:27):
that being said I do a mixtureof different activities, but I
definitely take my rest days.
I love to run.
I do Pilates those are the twoconstants in my life.
And then I also once a week goto orange theory, which is a
HITT style workout.
Weight training is somethingthat I've more recently gotten
(11:47):
into.
I'm not a weights girly.
Like I'm not ever going to bethe one benching or like, I
don't know, doing the squatswith like the huge barbell.
No, that's not like my aestheticper se, but like I see value now
in strength training becausethey say when you strength
train, your body is Stillburning those calories.
(12:08):
Days from the actual initialtraining day, which is really
cool to think about sophysically, do I, oh, I have my
planner here.
Great.
I physically have my planner andI will write in quite literally
what my workouts are for thatday.
Like that is just something thatlike I have to do because it
(12:29):
holds me accountable.
There's something about havingsomething written down or you
can put it in your calendar orin your phone, but just having
it mapped out, like scheduled,I'm, I'm not going to break the
schedule.
I'm a schedule girl.
So yeah, that really helps me.
This is kind of against what Ijust said, but you can't wait
for motivation.
(12:50):
You just can't find somethingyou love.
But like, if you don't want towork out, you don't love to work
out.
Don't wait for the spirit tomove you.
It's never going to move you.
You don't like to work out.
So don't wait for the motivationto all of a sudden come crashing
down and all of a sudden you're.
You're a running girl.
Like that's not how it works.
You have to just push yourself.
It's almost like mechanical.
(13:11):
Just like, I don't love to go towork every day, right?
When that alarm clock goes off,I get up and I get ready for
work.
Same thing with your workout.
I can't wait to feel like I'mmotivated to go to my job
because then I probably never goand I would be unemployed So the
point I'm trying to make is pushyourself to do it Whether you
want to do it or not, you haveto depersonalize the idea of
(13:33):
working out if that's not yourthing Take out the emotion from
it.
It's just something that youhave to do And once you get into
that habit that mindset You'llsee that it becomes less
daunting.
Another tip I have for just sortof like getting more active in
your day to day is, um, Get yoursteps in I know right now we're
(13:54):
seeing a lot of people talkabout 10k a day steps and I love
that 10, 000 is a greatbaseline.
I live in a big city.
So for me, 10k is like a regularday, but you have to check in
with yourself, depending onwhere you live for me.
I'm always aiming for 15k plusdays because like I said, like,
I can seriously do 10k before 12o'clock.
(14:16):
Noon.
If you are getting on average 2ka day, don't even strive for
10k.
Like that's a big jump.
Strive for 5k.
You want to set yourself up forsuccess.
I already said that because it'sso true.
Like you will feel disheartenedif you set these really lofty
goals that are not sustainablefor yourself.
So yeah, set yourself up forsomething that's attainable and
(14:39):
then you can always move thethreshold or the meter higher as
you go.
And the last thing I'll say islike, there are great ways you
can sneak steps into your day.
I don't drive, so it's easy forme.
I don't have a car.
but if you do, like most peopledo, they drive everywhere.
It's like, as you're runningyour errands, like you go to
Target, We all scour for theclosest parking spot next to the
(15:04):
entrance.
Why don't you do the opposite?
Why don't you look for the onethat's furthest?
Okay, and then walk your happyself into target.
Walk around target and then walkright back to your car that's
parked half a mile away.
Like those are great ways tolike push yourself without even
like thinking about it so muchor overthinking about it just to
like get into those habits.
Take the stairs.
(15:25):
That's big for me.
I don't care how fit you are.
Everyone is winded going up aflight of stairs if there's an
escalator, the line is likewrapped around the corner,
everyone's trying to get on theescalator and I'm like, you know
what, I'm just going to take thestairs, I'm better than you.
No, but it kind of feels thatway.
You're like, yeah.
Looking at everyone just likepushing to get on the escalator.
(15:45):
And it's like, no, I want totake the stairs.
Thank you.
Move out my way.
I'm going up.
All right, that's all I have tosay about exercise So yeah Just
find ways to keep yourendorphins Flowing and keeping
yourself motivated by thingsthat you love and if you don't
love it, fake it, Just pushyourself to do it until you may
(16:05):
surprise yourself and actuallylike it
the-sober-butterfly_20_06-1 (16:08):
Now let's talk skincare.
But before actually we talkabout skincare.
I want to share a quick story.
So When I was in my teens my 20sI was that annoying girl that
would sleep in her makeupbecause I was hungover mostly
and I wouldn't like Wash myface.
Some days I was just like, Ididn't care about my skin is the
(16:29):
point I'm trying to make.
And even though I didn't careabout my skin, my skin loved me.
I would have glowing skin.
I never had a breakout.
I never had a pimple.
I was just annoying.
It's just like, how do you havethe skin?
You don't even care about it.
Definitely.
You don't deserve it.
and then something happened.
Around 30.
So like 29 going into 30.
(16:50):
I remember it was a pandemic.
My skin just rebelled.
It was just like, I'm tired ofyou treating me this way.
How dare you?
And it started to break, brokeout like nobody's business for
no, Known reason I still don'tknow to this day like what
happened or why it started tofreak out But it did it really
(17:13):
did and I didn't know what to dobecause I Had never had issues
with my skin before so it's likeif you've never had experience
dealing with skin care issues.
You don't really know what todo.
And so I would talk to some ofmy girlfriends and ask them what
to do.
I even went to a dermatologistand I never really got to the
(17:34):
root cause of what was happeningwith my skin, but it was bad.
and then I got sober.
I quit drinking alcohol, July5th, 2021, and it took some
time.
It wasn't like an overnight.
I want to be clear about that.
It wasn't like an overnightsnap.
My skin is.
back to what it looks like todayand what it looked like before.
(17:55):
It just, with time, cleared up.
And not only just cleared up,like, it started to glow.
Like, it started just to getthat sense of, like, that
youthfulness back to it.
I don't know what happened, butthe only thing I changed.
At that time was my consumptionof alcohol.
(18:16):
So we know that alcohol driesout your skin.
We know it can lead to otherlike impurities of the skin.
It's just a poison, like youingest poison.
It's bound to show up in manyways, I think my skin was just
finally having a hard timedetoxing quite literally the
amounts of alcohol.
I was drinking Anyway, so I justwant to share that so I'm
(18:38):
actually grateful for theexperience I had when struggling
with my skin because it forcedme to pay attention more to like
the products I was using.
And I realized I didn't reallyhave any rhyme or reason for why
I was using things.
I just bought things.
Things that were marketedbasically at me.
I was like, Oh, this, thisbottle is cute.
I'm going to buy this withoutlooking at the ingredients
(18:58):
without looking at like whattype of skin type it was
intended for.
I just would buy things.
Now.
I don't do that because it's awaste of money.
And also understand more what myskin needs to maintain itself.
And there's something about, youknow, turning 30, you just need
to pay more attention to thesethings.
(19:20):
You realize that you can't takeyour skin for granted.
You start to see things sag andwrinkles form, and you just want
to make sure that you'reoptimizing your skin.
Of course, there are cosmeticprocedures you can, implement
into your routine.
I haven't quite gone that routefully yet.
I'm not against it.
I just don't think I need itquite yet.
So I say a lot to say, findthings that work for you and
(19:43):
understand.
What your personalized skincareroutine should look like, look
for products that are aligned tothe type of skin that you have.
If you don't know your skintype, I'm a combo girl.
I so I have oily skin and I alsohave dry skin depending on the
season.
It's summer, so right now myskin is pretty oily.
So I buy products that arereflective of my type of skin.
(20:06):
So you can take quizzes, you canfind out what skin type you have
to really optimize your dollarand making sure that you're
buying the stuff that worksbecause skincare can be pricey.
Conventional wisdom coming inhot here, but drink tons of
water.
I like to add fresh lemon intomy water.
It is Chef's Kiss, the greatestthing I've done for myself.
(20:29):
I didn't hate the taste of waterbefore, but I realized I didn't
love it.
It doesn't taste like anything.
I know it doesn't taste likeanything, but like it kind of
does.
So, I now feel like I'm drinkinglemonade.
Remember, I have a sweet tooth.
Um, I feel like I'm drinkinglemonade.
It's just fresh lemon juice.
Lemon that I squeeze from ajuice.
Um, juice that I squeeze from alemon and yeah, I half it every
(20:53):
morning.
First thing that hits my stomachis ice cold lemon water.
I don't know about temperature.
Some people argue you shouldhave room temp.
It's summer.
It's hot.
I like my water to be freezingice cold.
So yeah, drink water.
Um, don't drink alcohol and Takecare of your skin, take off your
makeup, have some kind ofroutine.
(21:15):
I have an AM routine.
I have a PM routine for themorning and the evening.
If anyone wants to know thespecific products I'm using,
please let me know in thecomments below.
I will happily make anothervideo and link it or drop it in
the show notes to show you guyswhat things I'm actually using
because there's a lot of likenoise out there.
It's hard to sometimes decipherwhat you actually need versus
(21:38):
what you don't need.
But I would say, yeah, buythings that actually work for
your skin type.
And then if you can afford tosplurge a little bit facials.
Yeah, facials go a long way.
It does not have to be a weeklything.
I would love to get weeklyfacials, but it's not quite in
the budget.
So instead I do a facial once amonth and I can see a huge
(21:59):
difference in my skin as well.
Make sure you trust theesthetician who's actually
working on your skin and givesyou like real feedback about
like what things they recommendfor you.
Not just like, Oh, get thishydrating facial because
everyone's doing a hydratingfacial like making sure that
they actually recommend thingsthat make sense for your skin
type.
the-sober-butterfly_20 (22:18):
Speaking of glowing skin, I have to tell
you more about our sponsorJolie.
Their filtered showerhead is agame changer.
It removes chlorine and otherimpurities from your shower
water, leaving your skin andhair feeling softer and
healthier.
It's a small change that makes ahuge difference.
Trust me, you will love it.
Check out Jolie in the shownotes below to get ready to
(22:41):
glow.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06- (22:42):
Next up is emotional well being.
Your emotional health is just asimportant as your physical
health when it comes to a summerglow up.
So let's jump in withjournaling.
I know you know how importantjournaling can be to your
emotional well being.
I think just there's somethingpowerful about writing down your
(23:02):
feelings, writing down yourthoughts on paper.
And putting that to paper, Ithink, can help you process
emotions, especially when youreflect and you read back what
you've written.
A big part of my early sobrietywas writing down how I was
feeling.
I just had a rollercoaster rangeof emotions.
And it's actually a littlecomical now to look back at some
(23:25):
of the entries that I wrotethinking just like, who is this
drama queen?
Like, Is she writing for ChickenSoup for the, Sober Girlie?
Like, what is going on?
It was just so dramatic.
Um, but that's how I felt in themoment.
I journal twice a day.
Most days I'm not perfect, butmost days I try and journal in
the morning and at night.
So in the morning, I am on thego.
(23:46):
I get up pretty early because Ialso work out in the morning,
preferably.
So I don't have much time is thepoint.
I'm trying to make so my journalin the morning is a gratitude
journal.
I write down 3 things.
I'm grateful for every day.
I'm not going to lie.
1 of the 3 things is I'mgrateful to be here.
Life is a privilege and Irecognize that many people today
(24:07):
did not wake up and so I alwaysjournal top of my journal is I'm
grateful to be here and then Itry to find 2 other things that
I'm grateful for, which is supereasy to do.
At night, it's more freestyle.
Like I just jot down whathappened in the day.
Like it's sometimes a littlemanic but I reflect on Big
(24:27):
things that happened in my day.
There's like a prompt that I sawa long time ago in another
journal, which is like, what isa story worthy moment from the
day?
I think that's a great way tolike, kind of thumb through the
different archives of your mind.
Like, if you think about all ofthe experiences that we have in
our day, they may seem trivial.
They may seem mundane.
(24:49):
But there's always somethingthat happened in that day that
you can unlock.
And then I usually write thatmoment down.
And if nothing happened, I'mlike, wait, why is, why is
everything so boring?
Like, I feel like I lead a veryexciting life.
So if there were ever momentswhere I'm like stretching for
things that happened, I'm like,okay, well, tomorrow I'm going
to make something story worthyto write down in my journal.
(25:10):
So, yeah, um, step 1 isjournaling for that summer glow
up.
You are thinking positively andyou're doing some deep
introspection and reflecting andif you really struggle with
journaling, or if you just wantto flex your creativity, I would
say that you could even journalfrom the perspective of how
you're going to feel when youhit whatever milestones that
(25:30):
you've set or goals that you setfor yourself in the process of
becoming that girl.
Does that make sense?
So like, for me, like I said,for me, August 19th is like my
official glow up date.
That's how I'm seeing it, right?
Like, I'll be landing in Athens,Greece.
I'm like, okay, what am Italking about?
What am I thinking about?
Like, I don't know.
How am I like feeling in thismoment?
(25:50):
So you can kind of make somealmost like predictions about
what life is going to look likewhen you are in that full summer
glow up moment.
Try it.
I don't know.
I haven't tried that.
I'm going to try it and reportback.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06 (26:03):
Okay, next up we have self care, and
I've talked extensively aboutself care, so I'm going to keep
this one brief.
Make self care a priority,that's like the main message I
could deliver here.
This could be anything fromtaking a long bath, reading a
good book, spending time innature, going to Greece, Italy,
(26:24):
and Turkey.
Do what makes you feel good, andthat recharges your spirit, it
doesn't have to be expensive.
I have a whole episode aboutstop overspending.
on self care in sobriety,because if you're sober, we love
to do that.
We love to project our futurehappiness sometimes into like
physical things that will likefix our lives.
And that's just not the case,right?
(26:46):
Self care really does come fromwithin.
So keep that in mind andprioritize making an effort to
do something for yourself.
Every single day.
Your self care could be thiswhole journey you're going
through right now.
This whole glow up journey forsummer is your self care, but
like what actionable steps areyou taking every day to get
there.
(27:07):
Moving into step three.
Step three is all aboutconnections.
I think surrounding yourselfwith positive people is probably
one of the most important.
impactful things you can do touplift yourself and inspire you
through this journey.
I feel that way about life ingeneral, but especially as
you're in this transitiontransformation process.
(27:30):
Why do you have people aroundyou who don't support that glow
up?
Why do you have people aroundyou who are doubting your
ability to become whateverversion of self that you want to
become?
Why do you have people who areholding you back?
If you thought about a personwith those questions, I need you
to steer clear of them.
I'm not going to tell you whatto do, but I highly recommend
(27:51):
that you distance yourself,there is discomfort in The
unknown there is discomfort inchange.
And so you're doing thingsdifferently.
You're moving differently.
People are going to respond tothat.
However, they may see it.
They could see it as a threat.
Oh, this person's changing.
Therefore, our dynamic willchange.
(28:14):
That could be literally whatthey're thinking.
So it's not always like illintended.
Like, oh, I don't want thisperson to glow up.
Um, it could just be this ideathat, like, they don't like this
person.
Posed threat, you're talkingabout going to the gym and
eating right and going on trips,like, they don't like that
because where do they fit inthat equation?
So, I would say you just need tomove differently right now,
(28:37):
baby.
Like, you have to make sure thatyou're surrounding yourself with
people who are not hinderingthat progress because we
ourselves can also act assometimes a deterrent or even
self sabotage ourselves in ourprogress because, as mentioned,
We don't like the unfamiliar.
We don't like discomfort.
We don't like change.
That's just, as humans, that'show we operate on a baseline.
(28:59):
So your body, your mind, Ishould say, could potentially be
trying to deter you from doingthe hard work on yourself for
that holistic transformation,that summer glow up.
So you need to make sure thatyou are also mindful that
sometimes we can be our ownworst enemy and default to
surrounding ourselves aroundpeople who we know better.
(29:21):
We know we shouldn't be hangingwith them.
Just in general, building stronghealthy relationships is
integral to emotional wellbeing.
Okay, lastly, let's focus on mental
wellbeing, keeping your mindsharp and positive is crucial
for your complete glow up.
So number one, we kind ofalready touched on this goals,
(29:43):
set those personal goals for thesummer, having something to
strive towards.
Like a vacation, a wedding cankeep you motivated and focused.
If you don't have a big lifeevent coming up, that's fine.
Still.
I want you to think about adate, circle that in your
calendar, and strive towardsthat date.
And then when we get to thatdate, check in with yourself.
How do you feel?
(30:04):
Have you accomplished some ofthe goals that you set forth for
yourself?
It's just nice to have somethingto work towards something that's
like tangible that's coming upin the near future, I think is a
great place to start.
And if you can't think of adate, just choose mine.
August 19th, baby, let's do it.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06- (30:22):
step two is read a nonfiction book.
I think I mentioned already thatI did 75 hard or I did not do 75
hard.
I attempted 75 hard.
And one of my favorite rulesthat they had was read 20 pages
or 10 pages, I'm sorry, of anonfiction book a day.
That was transformational forme.
(30:44):
I love to read, but I'm afiction girly.
So forcing myself to read anonfiction book Every single day
was groundbreaking.
It really opened my mind to,like, personal development and
things that, I hadn't quiteconsidered on my own.
Now I'm always reading anonfiction book.
(31:05):
when I was doing 75 hard I readThe mountain is you by Brianna
West.
And that book was really helpfulbecause it talked all about self
sabotage and I recognized inBrianna's writing how much I
related to many of the conceptsthat she discussed around self
sabotage and how so much of itcan be connected to like
(31:26):
childhood wounds or just likecoping mechanisms, trauma, all
of that.
So yeah, highly recommend thatbook if you're looking for a
book around personal developmentbecause we all I think can fall
prey to being our own worstenemy.
So read a personal developmentor nonfiction book.
(31:48):
I would say tailor it around anarea of your life that needs
improvement.
So, for example, if you'restruggling with your finances,
find a book.
Around financial literacy, ifyou're struggling with time
management, find a book relatedto executive functioning and
things like that.
So you just want to findsomething that.
It's connected to an area likeof life.
(32:09):
That is an opportunity for youto grow.
we don't need to keep sharpeningour skills around things that
we're great at already.
We want to glow up this summer.
And so the best way to do thatis to educate ourselves in new
ways and not just continue toread the same type of books that
we are accustomed to.
And if you don't read books atall, no shame, this is a great
(32:31):
opportunity for you to flex thatmuscle and start actually
connecting to, new mediums.
I do like audiobooks.
I listen to audiobooks all thetime when I'm commuting to work
or even when I'm running or whenI'm cleaning.
But the way my brain works, theprocessing is not as powerful as
when I actually read the writtenword.
(32:51):
I'm a visual person.
What can I say?
So I like the act of having aphysical book in front of me.
Right now I'm reading F theFairytale by Demona Hoffman.
I actually got to meet her thisJanuary at a conference and she
was amazing.
She even inscribed the book tome, which was really cute and I
was excited.
And it's all about, you probablyguessed it, forget the fairytale
(33:14):
guys.
It's a book about dating becauseI think that's an area of my
life that I can grow in, datingand relationships.
So yeah.
Um, I'll let you know maybe in aseparate video, how that book
went and if I see anyimprovements with my dating love
life this summer.
Step three, is make a Pinterest
board.
It's fun.
(33:34):
If anything, it's just a fun,like, arts and craft type of
activity you can do, now thatyou've heard the full episode,
maybe you'll have a clearersense of like, what you can pin,
but I recommend pinning images,quotes, any inspo that really
resonates with the person thatyou're becoming and this will
serve as a visual representationthat can become a really
(33:56):
powerful motivator for youthroughout this tenure of time.
I use my glow up my summer glowup Pinterest board as My
screensaver for my desktop so itjust is a constant reminder
that, like, I am becoming, I ambecoming, this best version of
myself this summer, August 19th.
(34:19):
I'm going to check back in withyou guys and let you know how my
progress has gone.
As we wrap up this episode, somy physical goals, I want to
lose 5 to 10 inches this summerthrough obviously my nutrition,
consistent exercise, and justreally being mindful of all of
the things that are nourishingfor my body when it comes to my
(34:41):
emotional well being, my goalsfor myself are related to.
the-sober-butterfly (34:45):
Surrounding myself with people that I want
to feel inspired by.
Like, I have a network here.
I have friends here.
I have peers here, but like, Idon't know if I, Have like my
core group, like the dynamics inNew York changed so much with
the pandemic.
A lot of people left, a lot ofnew people came, but I felt like
(35:09):
I lost my core group of friendsand I don't think I really have
found that again.
I think getting sober changedand shifted some relationships.
Of course, I have like reallyclose friends.
I have best friends, but theydon't live here.
they don't live near me.
And so, yeah, I think a focusfor me this summer is going to
be connected to finding myPeople and lastly my mental Well
(35:32):
being goals are going to beconnected to more mindfulness
practice Like I already read aton.
I already set goals for myselfAnd I've set goals for this,
glow up, but look, I don'treally have a mindfulness
practice.
So I'm going to give meditationanother go.
I really struggle with quietingmy mind.
You guys, um, you probably canguess that I'm a talker.
(35:54):
Imagine what's going on up here.
Like it's just.
Like a never ending stream ofthoughts.
And so I would love to recentermyself and learn to connect with
my mind, body, and spirit And Ithink a great way to do that
from what I've been told andwhat I probably know to be true
already is through meditationSo.
Yeah, I'm going to be working onthat as well this summer.
(36:17):
So those are my goals for mysummer glow up I would love to
hear some of your goals tell methe physical tell me the
emotional tell me the mental Iwant to hear them drop them in
the comments below I would loveto connect with you guys about
just how are we are doing withour summer glow up.
Um, this is a process.
There is no like, enddestination, but we do have our
(36:41):
check in date.
So also feel free to drop yourcheck in date.
You guys already know mine isAugust 19th and we can see how
we're doing.
I would love to be likeaccountability partners or
buddies in this system.
So let me know what you'restriving for or working towards
and what your goals are below.
the-sober-butterfly_20_06-1 (37:00):
and of course, I'd be remiss to not
talk a little bit more in depthabout something very close to my
heart.
Having a sober summer, alcoholmight seem like a staple of
summer fun, but trust me when Isay you do not need it to have a
good time.
In fact, ditching alcohol canenhance your glow up in so many
ways.
(37:21):
You'll have more energy, clearerskin, better sleep, improved
mental clarity.
Plus, you get to be fullypresent to enjoy every moment of
your summer adventures.
If you're looking foralternatives, you can opt for
refreshing mocktails, sparklingwater, ice herbal teas.
There are just so many deliciousand festive non alcoholic
(37:42):
options on market.
So let's just cheers to ahealthier, happier you.
And if you want somerecommendations, please let me
know below.
I'm happy to make another videoshowcasing, showcasing some of
my.
favorite non alcoholic beveragesto drink this summer.
I just actually finished my barcart, so I'll be showing you
(38:03):
guys what that looks likeanother time as well.
All right, beauties, that's a wrap
on our summer glow up episode.
Remember, a true glow up isabout nurturing yourself inside
and out.
Focus on your physical,emotional, and mental well
being, get some exciting newgoals, and don't forget to stay
sober and shine even brighter.
(38:25):
Thank you to our sponsor, Jolie,for supporting this episode.
Be sure to check out theirfiltered shower head for an
extra boost to your glow uproutine.
If you enjoyed this episode,please subscribe if you're
watching on YouTube if you'relistening from home, leave a
review and share it with yourfriends, follow me on social
media@the.soberbutterfly formore tips and inspiration until
(38:48):
next time, stay amazing and keepglowing.
Bye.
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