March 13, 2024 • 37 mins
Are we fully grasping the cultural currents shaping our youth's physical and mental health?
Young people have never been so anxious and depressed, in this episode I begin to delve into the many factors that I believe are contributing to these issues. I don't know it all and I don't have all the answers, however I believe it is important we start talking about these issues; even if that means discussing hot topics. I believe we learn from talking things out; not shutting down speech which is popular today.
Embark on an important journey with me, as I begin a deep dive into the societal forces impacting the well-being of gen Z. The digital realm our children inhabit is a far cry from the playgrounds of past generations. I discuss various social media platforms including TikTok and Tumblr, you will be surprised about the differences between TikTok in China and the Western world.
I discuss how smart phones and social media really work against your children; and touch on some of what they are really doing and seeing online. I also venture into the influence activists are having on our youth and the how compassion can be toxic.
Many don't want to get involved in the culture wars however, they are coming for you and particularly your children whether you like it or not.
The books I refer to in this episode are:
- We've Got Issues: How You Can Stand Strong for America's Soul and Sanity by Dr Phillip C. McGraw
- Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up by Abigail Shrier
Learn more about Fiona's speaking, radio and consultation services at Informed Health: https://informedhealth.com.au/
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Credit for the music used in this podcast:
The Beat of Nature
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Fiona Kane (00:01):
Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection podcast
with Fiona Kane.
I'm your host, Fiona Kane.
Today I'm going to be talkingto you a little bit more about
culture and about how it'saffecting the young people today
, children and probablygeneration Z and I don't know,
maybe anyone under 30.
(00:22):
Really, I'm going to be talkinga little bit about that.
What has that got to do withhealth?
Well, I feel like culture has alot to do with health, because
our culture contributes to ourhealth, I believe, and I am also
interested in culture andpolitics and all sorts of things
.
So I'm not going to keep thispodcast just being purely health
(00:42):
.
However, if I decide to starttalking politics, I'll create
another channel if it's purelyabout politics, of course, but I
know that culture really doesaffect health and you'll
understand why when I talk toyou about this in this episode.
The things I want to discusstoday I've been thinking on for
(01:03):
a really, really long time, andI want to be clear that I'm not
a parent.
I think being a parent is thehardest job and most important
job in the world, and I am notrecording this to have a go at
parents.
(01:24):
I will be having a go at a lotof things like social media and
activists and people who Ibelieve are contributing to this
poor issues that we're having,the poor mental health issues
we're having in our society.
(01:44):
However, this is not an attackon parents.
What I would like it to be,though, is the beginning of a
discussion about these issues,because I'm really going to be
talking a lot about physical andmental health of young people
and what I think is contributingto the poor physical and mental
(02:05):
health for young people, andwhat I would like this to be is,
like I said, part of abeginning of a conversation
around this.
I don't have all the answers.
I will say some of the thingsthat I believe can be useful.
I think this will end up beinga series, because there's a lot
in this, so I don't want to dotoo much all in one episode.
Also, I have invited someparenting experts to come on
(02:30):
with me, and, at this stage,they're really busy.
I've also got a psychologist inmy sphere who I might invite to
talk about this, so I am opento having people experts on this
.
I'm not an expert on this.
I am a nutritionist and acounsellor.
I also a woman in her 50s who'sjust absorbed a lot of culture,
(02:50):
seen a lot in my life andobserved a lot of parenting and
the good, bad and the ugly, andI think that every generation of
parents tries to do better thanthe last generation, and my
generation did try and do better.
However, I think some of thethings that my generation has
done to do better didn't work,and every generation stuff
doesn't work.
(03:10):
So there's no perfect parenting.
So, again, not having a go, butI think we need to discuss this
because we can't fix a problemunless we identify it.
So what I'm trying to do todayis identify some of the issues I
see and maybe delve into alittle bit of some of the
solutions and really just begina conversation.
So I hope that you receive thiswith that understanding,
(03:34):
understand what I'm trying toachieve here and anyway, with
that I will launch right in andsort of say that really I've
written some notes here too.
So for those watching, sorryfor kind of reading my notes,
but I just want to make surethat I stay on track.
So what I find today with youngpeople is that we do have a
(03:58):
generation that has more mentalhealth issues, I think, than any
before.
I don't have all those stats infront of me, but you can easily
find those.
There seems to be a lot ofmental health issues and a lot
of health issues with youngpeople of today, and I want to
talk about some of the thingsthat I think are contributing to
that.
Like all things, health andwellness and mental health
(04:21):
related things are multifaceted.
There's always more than onething, so I'm not blaming one
particular thing, just having adiscussion about what some of
those things might be.
For those of you who aren'taware, dr Phil has actually just
released a new book that coverssome of these things and I
really highly recommend that youread it.
(04:41):
Even though the book is aimedat Americans in Australia and
certainly a lot of other placesin the Western world, I think we
copy what they do there andwe're doing what they're doing
there, so a lot we often havethe same issues or we're
starting to have the same issues.
So, even though it seems likean American centric book, I feel
(05:02):
like it's got a lot to offer,particularly parents in
Australia and in the UK andanyone else who's got this kind
of Western, western things thatare going on that I will be
discussing.
I feel like children and youngpeople are being exposed to lots
of lies and lots of mistruthsand half-truths.
They're really being told a lotthat's not true and told a lot
(05:27):
that's not helpful.
Whether it's true or not, theylook at the world through
devices and the invention of thesmartphone.
I think Dr Phil actually saysin his book that essentially
what's happened is now that nowkids are, actually, rather than
(05:48):
going out and living their lives, they're actually watching
other people live their livesthrough their smartphones.
Not only are they watchingother people live their lives,
but they're watching otherpeople live fake lives, because
a lot of these just aren't real.
However, your kids, these youngpeople, do think that they are
real, and so that's what they'rebeing exposed to is that they
(06:09):
don't live their own life.
They watch other people livefake lives, and their fake lives
are so fabulous that your kidshave left feeling really like
they're lucked out and thattheir life is terrible.
And this is very different fromyou.
Know, I'm a Gen Xer.
When we were kids, we didn'thave.
We didn't have mobile phones,we didn't have computers.
(06:31):
Well, we barely did.
We kind of had a computer labat school with four or five
computers that for a thousandstudents, that only the nerdy
kids used, because they're theonly ones that even knew what
they were.
But in general we didn't havethose things right.
So what we did is we wentoutside and we played outside
and we learned how to talk toeach other and we made friends
and lost friends and all thedifferent things.
(06:52):
But we actually justre-socialized a lot and we read
books and all of that sort ofthing.
But what we didn't do is wedidn't.
The only insights and otherpeople's lives we had was on the
regular TV shows we watched andwas on, you know, was at
neighbors or home and away orthose kinds of TV shows that are
(07:16):
still around today, andotherwise it was through
magazines or books that we read.
But a lot of what we learnedabout other people's lives was
just through interesting books.
It was not through watchingsomeone's filtered life on
Instagram.
So we just didn't see.
We didn't have that level of.
We just weren't constantlyconsuming all of this
information from all of thesedifferent places.
(07:38):
It just wasn't there.
So the kids today are beingabsolutely overwhelmed with
information and notificationsand ads and don't forget all of
these platforms.
They rely on advertising andwhat they do is they need to
hold your children's eyes therefor as long as possible and they
need to, or ours as well,adults as well, anyone you know
(08:00):
this would relate to and theyneed you to click on the things
they want you to click on orwatch the things they want you
to watch, and essentially, themore time you spend watching
things, the more it feeds to youfor those things.
They actually did a studyrecently where they were looking
at TikTok.
And for parents who don'trealize this because I have
(08:22):
friends who say, oh, mydaughter's on TikTok, it's fine,
she's just friends with youknow a group of you, know her
girlfriends from school.
They just do cute dances,that's all they do and that is
fine.
But what you don't realize isthere's a few things that you
don't realize.
The first thing is that yourchild is being exposed to
everything.
(08:42):
So other people may or may notbe seeing them.
I don't quite know exactly howit works, but what I do know is
they can see everything, andwhen I say everything, I mean
everything.
They are being exposed to everytype of sexual and I'm not
(09:02):
talking even just about kind ofnormal every day, what you'd
call vanilla I everything youcould imagine on there.
They are being exposed topeople who are, to groomers who
are targeting them.
They are being exposed toreally, really disgusting ideas
(09:26):
in regards to politics and theworld, and they are being
exposed to things like stuff inregards to I'm just trying to
think of the right languagebecause I'm on YouTube but stuff
that relates to eatingdisorders.
So what will happen is if yourdaughter is on TikTok and she's
(09:51):
looking at something, and she'slooking at something in regards
to weight loss, if she'sinterested in weight loss,
within so many minutes it's likewithin minutes she will start
seeing six times more weightloss stuff.
But it's not just weight lossstuff.
She won't be seeing healthyeating.
Weight loss stuff She'll beseeing.
This is how to do 400 caloriesa day.
(10:11):
This is how to do anorexia.
This is how to do.
It's a how to guide and aglorification guide for all of
these things.
They did it, like I said before.
They did a study recently wherethey went on and I think they
created several accounts andthey all said that they were, I
think, 13 year old girls andthey all just were interested in
(10:35):
different things and they sawthe different ads and the
different videos that got pushedto those different people, and
within minutes like I don't meanhours of minutes, I mean like
two or three minutes.
They were being exposed to justhorrific stuff and, like I said
, it feeds your biggest anxietyor your biggest issues, because
(10:56):
if you're looking for weightloss, it's going to start
showing you that.
So, whatever it is, so withinminutes they're being showing
this stuff.
So you think that your child'sjust making cute videos with
their friends, but you don'tknow what they are seeing on
these platforms, and they areseeing stuff that you would
never, ever want your child tosee or be exposed to.
So you must know this.
(11:18):
And the other thing, too, inregards to TikTok, is that you
have to know that the ChineseTikTok is very different to the
TikTok that we have in theWestern world, and in China
they're only allowed to seeeducational things, and so in
China they're using TikTok tohelp build up their children.
In the Western world, they'reusing TikTok to destroy them.
(11:38):
It's important to understandthis, and that is what they're
using it for, because that iswhat it's doing.
There are other.
I'm just checking here with mynotes just to make sure that I'm
covering this.
I'm also there's another appcalled Tumblr that they use, and
apparently they write thesejoint stories on there and they
(12:03):
will do their theme to like theymight be themed to something
like Harry Potter, and thatsounds very innocent.
You think, oh, my child'swriting a Harry Potter story on
Tumblr Isn't that lovely, butthey are actually gay porn
stories.
That are very, very, verydetailed stories, and I was when
(12:26):
I heard the mothers talkingabout what was in these stories
and what they were about.
That's again it's.
You know, maybe you do wantyour children to be doing that
and that is fine, but you justat least need to know that this
is and it depends on their age,depends on lots of things.
So there's all these apps whereyou think they're doing, oh,
they're doing the writing HarryPotter stories.
(12:46):
That's great.
They've been creative with alltheir girlfriends.
Or you know, they're doingfunny dance videos on TikTok.
That's not what it appears tobe, and so it's really, really
important, and a lot of parentsjust don't know how to use these
apps.
If you don't know how to use theapp, your children shouldn't be
on them.
You should be on the app andyou should have absolute, 100%
(13:07):
access to their phones and whatthey're doing.
And in fact, in my opinion, oneof the solutions to this is
children.
Just, I don't think childrenshould have smartphones.
They are not built for it.
We were not built for it.
I'm glad that we didn't have itwhen we were children, and I
think it's destroying theirlives really.
(13:28):
So there are kinds of phonesyou can get that are smartphones
that kind of just allow you tomessage and ring your children.
That's the only kind of phonethat I think that children
should have these days, even ifall their friends have got the
latest and greatest.
It's your job to keep them safe, not be liked by them.
If they hate you, that's fine.
(13:48):
You're keeping them safe.
And if your children are reallyacting out a lot in regards to
not having their mobile phonewhich they will it gives you a
clue about how much a hold ithas on them and how much they
need to not have it if theyreally really can't cope with
not having it.
The other thing that's happeningis with boys.
They're playing all of thesegames.
(14:09):
I'm not saying girls aren'tdoing it as well, I'm
generalising, but there's a lotof games.
I know World of Warcraft.
I don't know, I'm not an experton the games that they're
playing, but in these games theyget to really quite high levels
and become quite significant,and my understanding is they get
a lot of status from that andthey feel really good about
themselves within the game.
(14:30):
The problem is that they cannotdo that in real life and often
they're the sort of person thatin real life is not seen and not
heard and not popular, and sothey're getting really, really
addicted to staying on the gamebecause, of course, if that's
the place where you feel goodabout yourself, that's the
problem.
(14:50):
So, again, children need to beyoung, people need to be
socialising.
They need to be out in theworld and socialising Absolutely
need that.
And the other part of what ishappening is there's a lot of
kids these days who a lot ofkids, diagnosed with a lot of
things and I'm not saying thatnone of it's true and none of
(15:10):
it's real and it doesn't haveits place.
Diagnoses have their place andof course, in Australia with our
NDIS system unfortunately orfortunately, whichever way you
look at it but a diagnosis isimportant for being part of that
system and getting support.
It also means that a lot ofpeople are seeking diagnosis and
diagnosis.
(15:31):
It can be a good thing and Ithink it can be a bad thing as
well, especially a lot of theself-diagnosis stuff right.
So they look online and theyfind out that they have social
anxiety or disorder and socialanxiety has become a thing.
A diagnosis of social anxietyWell, yeah, everyone has a
(15:52):
certain amount of social anxiety.
You know how you get out of overit you socialize.
Simple as that.
The only way to get over it andget around it is to do it right
.
You have to actually go out andsocialize.
And what's happened is we'vehad a couple of years of COVID.
That was really devastating fora lot of these kids.
They missed out on so manymilestones and so many rites of
(16:13):
passage and so much socializingand with kids that are home on
their devices instead of outsocializing with other people,
the amount of times they've beento someone's house and they've
got kids and the kids don'tgreet you or they can't even
look up from their device forlong enough to greet you.
All the kids sit at the kitchentable on their device just
(16:36):
looking down the whole time ontheir device, and they just
don't know how to socialize.
And I think if your kid can'tput that stuff down for five
minutes and learn how to haveeye contact with another person
and say hello, that's reallyproblematic for that child.
It really really is.
Excuse me, I'll just have adrink of tea and I'm not meaning
(17:02):
to have a go at anyone, justlike.
We've got to identify the issueand understand how big a
problem this is.
The other issue is that childrenare being told things like
they're being told that theworld is in climate catastrophe,
they're all going to die, theydon't have a future and
(17:23):
regardless of where you fall inthe climate change thing I'm not
a denier, but I'm also not acatastrophist I think there's
probably a middle road theresomewhere.
But regardless of where youfall with that, what is the
point in telling your children?
If you really believe that,what's the point in telling that
to your children?
Wouldn't you just not tell themthat and help them just live a
(17:46):
good life for as long aspossible, because it's not their
job to fix it?
So why, even you know, tellthem things that they can't do
anything about?
We used to actually not tellchildren things that they
couldn't do anything about, thatwhen their responsibility.
But now we put thatresponsibility onto the kids,
and not only that.
We actually some of us arecreating.
(18:07):
You know, we're really proud ofour Of activists that we're
creating.
We're creating the socialjustice warrior, children.
So it's being allowed to justbe kids and not have to think
about the world, not have toworry about all that stuff We've
actually got.
Them should ring the world'sproblems and thinking that it's
their job to fix it.
Not only that, but they're toldthat adults don't care about
(18:28):
the climate, adults don't careabout the planet rule, trying to
destroy it and you know, andthey've got to fix it.
And no wonder they're doingstupid things like throwing
paint on paint and on Beautifulpaintings and trying to destroy
them or super whatever theythrow on them, or hanging them,
dangling themselves off bridgesand stuff like that.
I mean it's absolutelyridiculous.
(18:48):
How, and it's not helpinganyone.
However, if you thought thatyou had no future and that
nobody cared about it, you'd bedoing something stupid like that
too.
They could be doing somethinguseful, because what in in our
world, the way we've resolvedany of those kinds of problems
in the past and stop the firsttime this world had problems Is
it's people who go and learn anduniversities, and that in their
(19:10):
, in workplaces and things aresmart.
People who are engineers and allsorts of other jobs, scientists
, and they learn, they discussthings, they figure things out,
they learn together and theycreate solutions.
So kids could be gettinginvolved in Solutions and some
of them, of course, are, butmany of them are just think that
the world's gonna end andthey're just working out.
(19:31):
And why wouldn't you, whywouldn't you just, why wouldn't
you rebel if you thought thatthat was the truth about the
world?
The other thing that'shappening as well is we've got
this, some of this, twodifferent kind of political
things that are coming through.
So one of them is criticaltheories, and I won't go into a
(19:52):
lot of detail about that rightnow, but essentially, critical
theories are just critical ofeverything that ever happened in
, especially in western worlds,and not helpful at all.
Not useful.
Just want to tear it all down.
And there's a lot of thingsabout the west western culture
in the western world.
There's a lot of things abouthistory that you know we're
(20:12):
really terrible and that youknow we've learned so much and
we've come so far and we can youknow we can learn from and move
forward.
However, these people just wantto tear it all down rather than
say, okay, this is this right,this isn't so good, let's fix
this, whatever.
I just want to tear everythingdown, this people who have no
interest in in nurturing orgrowing anything.
(20:34):
They just want to tear it down.
And that's what, unfortunately,what children are being taught
as well, and as part of all ofthese theories, this is thing
called post modernism.
That's essentially telling yourkids that this note nothing is
real.
Everything is a construct,everything is a social construct
.
So what your kids are beingtaught is that literally
(20:55):
everything is invented, and notonly is everything invented, but
it's invented by Horrible whitepeople that want to destroy the
world and who have only everdone bad things, never done
anything good.
Again, there's a balance witheverything.
White people have done reallygood things and we're done
really horrible things, and sohas every other race.
It's just the truth of theworld.
(21:17):
The history of the world iscomplicated and lots of violence
and lots of nasty stuff andslavery within every different
color and and nation, andthey're still slavery happening
in the world today.
There's terrible thingshappening in the world today and
people are less concerned aboutsome of those things and a
whole lot more concerned aboutthings that happened 200 years
ago, 300 years ago.
Then what's actually happeningnow?
(21:40):
So, anyway, because they'rebeing told that there's no such
thing as truth.
Everything's being constructed,and they're also being told
that there's no such thing asboys and girls.
All there is, but there isn'tso because there's no such thing
as boys and girls, but there isbecause you can become one of
the other.
So it's very confusing whatthey're being taught, but
(22:01):
essentially they're being taughtthat a boy can become a girl or
a girl can become a boy andpeople can live whatever way
they choose.
That's absolutely fine.
I've got no issue with that.
However, you literally cannotbecome the opposite sex.
Even if you have surgery, evenif you have hormones, you cannot
be the other.
You just can't right.
(22:22):
Unfortunately, it's a thingcalled biology.
You can't, and it doesn't meanthat people don't deserve
respect and don't deservekindness and that people don't
need to be supported in thechallenges that they're having
and all of that stuff.
This is not having a go at anyindividuals or any people who
are struggling with any of thosethings.
However, you can't lie topeople.
(22:43):
Lying to people doesn't make itbetter.
Telling them that they can besomething they're not is not
helpful, and, in actual fact,what we're doing now is the one
in the hundred people that hadthese issues that you could help
them when they had the problem.
Or now we're telling all thechildren that they can be
(23:05):
something different.
There's one family that was online recently a woman who's got
four children, who all happen tobe trans.
They've all been born in thewrong body.
What's the chance that they'veall been born in the wrong body?
All that, that woman is just.
Yeah.
I won't say what I think aboutthat woman, but that's just.
(23:25):
Unfortunately, all of thesemedical and this is a whole
topic for another day but WPATH,who are the body behind pushing
all of this into medicalpractice and that sort of thing
in the United States there's alot of evidence that's just come
up in the last week or so thatshowing that they know the harms
(23:46):
of doing this to children andthey're not.
They don't care.
So anyway, I think that issomething a topic for a whole
big topic for another day.
But, yeah, changing a wholebunch of children with hormones
and surgeries and living withthe terrible consequences of
(24:06):
that.
There's so many detransitionersnow Europe have, like in
Finland and Sweden and placeslike that.
They did all this stuff firstwith kids and then they realized
it wasn't working and they saidlook wrong way, go back, please
don't do this.
It's not working.
These children are notbenefiting from this at all.
It's actually having theopposite effect.
But we're still going straightahead in the US and Australia,
(24:31):
unfortunately.
Hopefully things will changesoon, but my theory is first in
a harm.
It's always first in a harm.
So, anyway, whole other topic,and I know a lot of people get
angry about me saying that, butthat is just the truth as I see
it.
I think that we have beenfrightened into not saying the
(24:53):
truth and we have been told thatit's more compassionate to just
accept things and not say thetruth.
But it is not compassionate.
To not tell the truth does nothelp people.
To not tell the truth andletting people, letting
children's bodies, people should, in the name of compassion,
(25:13):
that's not compassion.
So I just can't abide by thatme personally.
And the other thing that we'rebeing told is if we talk about
any of these issues where somesort of ist or some sort of
phobe no, we're just having adiscussion, that's all.
I don't hate anybody, I don'twant anything bad for anybody, I
(25:36):
just want a healthy society andto have that we need to learn
how to have these conversations,and I could be wrong about some
things or write about somethings, and I'll learn more as I
go along.
That's fine.
However, we need to have thesediscussions.
We can't help our children orhelp our society if we can't
(25:59):
have the discussions.
So it's really, reallyimportant that we have these
discussions.
The other thing that I justwanted to mention as well look
at, this episode is alreadygetting a bit long, so I don't
want to keep it going for toomuch longer.
But the other thing here I justhad some notes here, so I was
(26:22):
telling you about Dr Phil's book.
Sorry, I'm arming so much inthis one.
It's just a difficult topic andI know I'm going to get a lot
of pushback on this, so it'sjust a bit harder to talk about
this stuff because I'm used tobeing told I can't talk about it
.
So, sorry, I'm struggling a bitwith just how to word this.
Anyway, the other thing inregards to what young people are
(26:46):
being taught is they're beingtaught that their feelings
matter more than anything, andso it's all about their feelings
.
It's only about their feelings.
Now, my generation was quitethe opposite, which maybe was or
wasn't good or bad, I don'tknow.
Like I said every generationthey get things wrong, they get
(27:07):
things right.
So we had a time where peoplecouldn't talk about feelings and
where we weren't having that,and that wasn't necessarily
healthy, and I do think it isimportant that we learn how to
identify our feelings andunderstand them.
And if we can identify ourfeelings, we can verbalize
things better and we can resolvethings better or we can
understand ourselves better.
So I do not have any problemwith identifying and
(27:30):
understanding our feelings.
I think that is important.
However, young people are beingtaught that their feelings are
the most important thing andthey are the only thing and your
feelings are.
Often they're just short termthings that relate to some event
that's happened and they arenot the most important thing.
The world doesn't care aboutyour feelings.
Unfortunately, if you teachyour child that the world cares
(27:52):
about their feelings totally andit's most important thing,
they're going to struggle inlife because out in the world
nobody cares about it.
It's just.
The truth is that we all haveour feelings right and our
feelings are very subjective andwhile it is, like I said, good
to learn to own them and to havethem and to identify them and
do something useful about it,the world doesn't necessarily
(28:14):
have to know or care about everyfeeling that you have.
And the problem is that whatwe're doing now is, in the name
of being, of building upchildren and self-confidence,
which you can't build upsomebody's self-confidence they
must do it themselves.
I talked in a previous episodeabout forging our identity,
because there's always kidsonline creating their identities
(28:36):
out of thin air by watchingTikTok videos.
It's the same thing withself-esteem you can't build it
for someone else.
So self-esteem is developed andit's developed by going out
there and having a go right.
It is developed by going outand being part of the world and
you fall over and you get upagain, you fall over again and
you make a mistake and you havea faux pas here and you do
(28:57):
something wrong there, and it'sbasically just going out and
living right.
You go out and live and you goto and you study and you get a
job and all the different thingsand you learn and you get
confident in yourself becauseyou're able to do the thing.
So, essentially, ourself-esteem is built up bit by
bit, for everything that we'reable to do for ourselves Doesn't
(29:20):
build up because you're toldthat here's your participation
trophy and you're the best andyou're wonderful and you can do
everything.
No, you can't do everything.
Not everyone can do everything.
Right, I'm five foot tall.
I'm never going to be a probasketballer, right?
The truth is not everyone cando everything.
We can do a lot and it is goodto aim for a lot, but you know,
(29:40):
telling children that they canbe anything, they can do
anything and they're wonderfuland here's your participation
trophy I don't think is helpfuland we're actually seeing that
that this over psychology thingand again, psychology has a
really useful place, not havinga go at it per se, but what
we're doing is we're just havingkids just talk about their
feelings constantly, all thetime.
(30:02):
And I was listening to JordanPeterson recently.
He was talking to AbigailShrier.
She's got a new book about thisas well.
I haven't read it yet.
I'll get back to you when I do.
It's about this stuff, thissort of over-therapizing with
children where it's not needed.
Sometimes it very much isneeded.
Different therapist dodifferent approaches, so it
(30:22):
depends on the approach.
But Jordan was saying thatself-consciousness is a part,
like a subset, of neuroticismand he said that being
self-conscious and beingdepressed and anxious they're
not linked.
He said they're the same thing.
So I'm going to read that againbeing self-conscious and being
(30:47):
depressed and anxious they'renot linked, they are the same.
And what's happening?
I believe this self-consciousthing is coming about because
we're encouraging that thechildren are looking at
themselves online all day.
You see your reflection ofyourself and they're doing all
these videos where they'revideoing themselves with filters
, so they're seeing themselvesall day.
(31:08):
We used to see it like in themorning you put your makeup on
maybe, if you do even do thatand then you go out into the day
and you might catch up, look inthe mirror when you go to the
bathroom and just fix up yourmakeup or something right, so we
would see ourselves a couple oftimes a day.
Maybe these kids are seeingthemselves reflected in their
screens all day, and oftenthrough all these sorts of weird
(31:28):
and wonderful filters.
Actually, when they go for whenpeople go for surgery now they
have to get like facelifts ornot facelifts, but you know
plastic surgery what they'redoing is they're taking these AI
images of themselves becausethey see themselves through AI
generated pictures.
So they're not taking a pictureof a movie star or something.
(31:49):
They're taking the AI image ofthemselves and wanting to be
turned into this AI thing.
So, anyway, these kids arelooking at themselves all of the
time and through all sorts ofweird and wonderful filters, and
they're being told all of thetime to think about their
feelings and how do they feeland what do they feel like they
are today, and they're havingemotional checks in the schools
(32:10):
about how are you feeling.
And the problem is that we aremaking them miserable because
we're making them self-conscious.
In actual fact, you know, humanthis is.
I'm just going to read thisquote from Jordan Peterson
because I think it's very goodand I might leave it there.
Human wellbeing is a propersituation in a hierarchy that
(32:33):
includes the social environment.
So what that implies is themore you think about yourself,
the less you are focusing on howto establish solid, reliable
and reciprocal relations,intimate relationships,
friendships, bonds of a familyand less tightly wound binding
that you would have with a broadcommunity.
(32:55):
And I don't think I read thatvery well, but essentially what
it's saying is, if you justfocus on yourself, that just
leads to depression, anxiety andmiserableness, whereas if you
go out and you just get involvedin your society and you connect
it to your family and youconnect it to your environment,
your society, your workplaces,your friendship groups, your
(33:16):
schools, wherever it is.
When you go out and createrelationships in all of those
places and spend time doing that, that creates wellbeing, that
creates good physical and mentalhealth.
When you spend all your timelooking at your image on your
phone and trying to decide howyou relate or who you think you
are, that actually just makesyou really, really depressed and
anxious.
(33:36):
So I've gone over way over thanI want to.
I think this is a series really, but I just would encourage you
to rethink your child's accessto smartphones and rethink their
access to very definitely tosocial media platforms.
I didn't even get into some ofthe some of the stuff.
Anyway, I'd love to be futureepisodes because I've gone way
(33:57):
over time.
I would love to hear yourfeedback and if you're an expert
on any of these kinds of issuesand you would like to come onto
the podcast, please contact me.
Fiona at informedhealthcomau, Ido really want to have further
discussions about this.
I don't pretend to be the worldexpert on it.
(34:17):
I'm just observing things.
I'm seeing that I feel quiteconcerning and I feel that a lot
of parents are just so busythat they just don't, they're
not fully aware of all of this,so I think it's important to
bring it to their attention.
I hope this was helpful to youand and please understand this
it was intentioned from the bestof places.
(34:38):
I know that some people willstill get offended and insulted
by it.
I know the world's that's theworld, isn't it that we don't
always like things, butsometimes we have to hear things
that we don't like, and that'sjust how it is, and actually
that's some that's.
The other thing, too, is thatwith free speech, free speech is
(34:59):
really, really important andfree speech allows us to think.
So when we have conversations,we can think through things and
we can navigate through thingsand we can work with them
together.
So, right or wrong, having thediscussion is really really
important and it's how we get tobetter answers.
But shutting down speech, notlistening to things we don't
want to hear, doesn't help withthat.
(35:20):
So, right or wrong, I dobelieve that we do need to have
these discussions, thechallenging discussions, but
they need to be had and throughthese discussions we will come
up with solutions.
That's not through shuttingeach other down.
So I, so I invite you to keepthat in mind and I'm happy to
hear your feedback.
(35:40):
If you just want to troll me,go away, but if you actually
have genuine feedback, I wouldlove to hear that and I will be
doing more on these kinds oftopics, because they are
affecting the health of themental health particularly, but
also the physical health ofyoung people today, and I think
that someone needs to stand upfor them, even if they are going
(36:01):
to get hate for it.
Anyway, I hope you have a greatweek.
Please like, subscribe, shareall of the usual things and I'll
see you next week.
Thank you, bye.
Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection podcast
with Fiona Kane.
I'm your host, Fiona Kane.
Today I'm going to be talkingto you a little bit more about
culture and about how it'saffecting the young people today
, children and probablygeneration Z and I don't know,
maybe anyone under 30.
(00:22):
Really, I'm going to be talkinga little bit about that.
What has that got to do withhealth?
Well, I feel like culture has alot to do with health, because
our culture contributes to ourhealth, I believe, and I am also
interested in culture andpolitics and all sorts of things
.
So I'm not going to keep thispodcast just being purely health
(00:42):
.
However, if I decide to starttalking politics, I'll create
another channel if it's purelyabout politics, of course, but I
know that culture really doesaffect health and you'll
understand why when I talk toyou about this in this episode.
The things I want to discusstoday I've been thinking on for
(01:03):
a really, really long time, andI want to be clear that I'm not
a parent.
I think being a parent is thehardest job and most important
job in the world, and I am notrecording this to have a go at
parents.
(01:24):
I will be having a go at a lotof things like social media and
activists and people who Ibelieve are contributing to this
poor issues that we're having,the poor mental health issues
we're having in our society.
(01:44):
However, this is not an attackon parents.
What I would like it to be,though, is the beginning of a
discussion about these issues,because I'm really going to be
talking a lot about physical andmental health of young people
and what I think is contributingto the poor physical and mental
(02:05):
health for young people, andwhat I would like this to be is,
like I said, part of abeginning of a conversation
around this.
I don't have all the answers.
I will say some of the thingsthat I believe can be useful.
I think this will end up beinga series, because there's a lot
in this, so I don't want to dotoo much all in one episode.
Also, I have invited someparenting experts to come on
(02:30):
with me, and, at this stage,they're really busy.
I've also got a psychologist inmy sphere who I might invite to
talk about this, so I am opento having people experts on this
.
I'm not an expert on this.
I am a nutritionist and acounsellor.
I also a woman in her 50s who'sjust absorbed a lot of culture,
(02:50):
seen a lot in my life andobserved a lot of parenting and
the good, bad and the ugly, andI think that every generation of
parents tries to do better thanthe last generation, and my
generation did try and do better.
However, I think some of thethings that my generation has
done to do better didn't work,and every generation stuff
doesn't work.
(03:10):
So there's no perfect parenting.
So, again, not having a go, butI think we need to discuss this
because we can't fix a problemunless we identify it.
So what I'm trying to do todayis identify some of the issues I
see and maybe delve into alittle bit of some of the
solutions and really just begina conversation.
So I hope that you receive thiswith that understanding,
(03:34):
understand what I'm trying toachieve here and anyway, with
that I will launch right in andsort of say that really I've
written some notes here too.
So for those watching, sorryfor kind of reading my notes,
but I just want to make surethat I stay on track.
So what I find today with youngpeople is that we do have a
(03:58):
generation that has more mentalhealth issues, I think, than any
before.
I don't have all those stats infront of me, but you can easily
find those.
There seems to be a lot ofmental health issues and a lot
of health issues with youngpeople of today, and I want to
talk about some of the thingsthat I think are contributing to
that.
Like all things, health andwellness and mental health
(04:21):
related things are multifaceted.
There's always more than onething, so I'm not blaming one
particular thing, just having adiscussion about what some of
those things might be.
For those of you who aren'taware, dr Phil has actually just
released a new book that coverssome of these things and I
really highly recommend that youread it.
(04:41):
Even though the book is aimedat Americans in Australia and
certainly a lot of other placesin the Western world, I think we
copy what they do there andwe're doing what they're doing
there, so a lot we often havethe same issues or we're
starting to have the same issues.
So, even though it seems likean American centric book, I feel
(05:02):
like it's got a lot to offer,particularly parents in
Australia and in the UK andanyone else who's got this kind
of Western, western things thatare going on that I will be
discussing.
I feel like children and youngpeople are being exposed to lots
of lies and lots of mistruthsand half-truths.
They're really being told a lotthat's not true and told a lot
(05:27):
that's not helpful.
Whether it's true or not, theylook at the world through
devices and the invention of thesmartphone.
I think Dr Phil actually saysin his book that essentially
what's happened is now that nowkids are, actually, rather than
(05:48):
going out and living their lives, they're actually watching
other people live their livesthrough their smartphones.
Not only are they watchingother people live their lives,
but they're watching otherpeople live fake lives, because
a lot of these just aren't real.
However, your kids, these youngpeople, do think that they are
real, and so that's what they'rebeing exposed to is that they
(06:09):
don't live their own life.
They watch other people livefake lives, and their fake lives
are so fabulous that your kidshave left feeling really like
they're lucked out and thattheir life is terrible.
And this is very different fromyou.
Know, I'm a Gen Xer.
When we were kids, we didn'thave.
We didn't have mobile phones,we didn't have computers.
(06:31):
Well, we barely did.
We kind of had a computer labat school with four or five
computers that for a thousandstudents, that only the nerdy
kids used, because they're theonly ones that even knew what
they were.
But in general we didn't havethose things right.
So what we did is we wentoutside and we played outside
and we learned how to talk toeach other and we made friends
and lost friends and all thedifferent things.
(06:52):
But we actually justre-socialized a lot and we read
books and all of that sort ofthing.
But what we didn't do is wedidn't.
The only insights and otherpeople's lives we had was on the
regular TV shows we watched andwas on, you know, was at
neighbors or home and away orthose kinds of TV shows that are
(07:16):
still around today, andotherwise it was through
magazines or books that we read.
But a lot of what we learnedabout other people's lives was
just through interesting books.
It was not through watchingsomeone's filtered life on
Instagram.
So we just didn't see.
We didn't have that level of.
We just weren't constantlyconsuming all of this
information from all of thesedifferent places.
(07:38):
It just wasn't there.
So the kids today are beingabsolutely overwhelmed with
information and notificationsand ads and don't forget all of
these platforms.
They rely on advertising andwhat they do is they need to
hold your children's eyes therefor as long as possible and they
need to, or ours as well,adults as well, anyone you know
(08:00):
this would relate to and theyneed you to click on the things
they want you to click on orwatch the things they want you
to watch, and essentially, themore time you spend watching
things, the more it feeds to youfor those things.
They actually did a studyrecently where they were looking
at TikTok.
And for parents who don'trealize this because I have
(08:22):
friends who say, oh, mydaughter's on TikTok, it's fine,
she's just friends with youknow a group of you, know her
girlfriends from school.
They just do cute dances,that's all they do and that is
fine.
But what you don't realize isthere's a few things that you
don't realize.
The first thing is that yourchild is being exposed to
everything.
(08:42):
So other people may or may notbe seeing them.
I don't quite know exactly howit works, but what I do know is
they can see everything, andwhen I say everything, I mean
everything.
They are being exposed to everytype of sexual and I'm not
(09:02):
talking even just about kind ofnormal every day, what you'd
call vanilla I everything youcould imagine on there.
They are being exposed topeople who are, to groomers who
are targeting them.
They are being exposed toreally, really disgusting ideas
(09:26):
in regards to politics and theworld, and they are being
exposed to things like stuff inregards to I'm just trying to
think of the right languagebecause I'm on YouTube but stuff
that relates to eatingdisorders.
So what will happen is if yourdaughter is on TikTok and she's
(09:51):
looking at something, and she'slooking at something in regards
to weight loss, if she'sinterested in weight loss,
within so many minutes it's likewithin minutes she will start
seeing six times more weightloss stuff.
But it's not just weight lossstuff.
She won't be seeing healthyeating.
Weight loss stuff She'll beseeing.
This is how to do 400 caloriesa day.
(10:11):
This is how to do anorexia.
This is how to do.
It's a how to guide and aglorification guide for all of
these things.
They did it, like I said before.
They did a study recently wherethey went on and I think they
created several accounts andthey all said that they were, I
think, 13 year old girls andthey all just were interested in
(10:35):
different things and they sawthe different ads and the
different videos that got pushedto those different people, and
within minutes like I don't meanhours of minutes, I mean like
two or three minutes.
They were being exposed to justhorrific stuff and, like I said
, it feeds your biggest anxietyor your biggest issues, because
(10:56):
if you're looking for weightloss, it's going to start
showing you that.
So, whatever it is, so withinminutes they're being showing
this stuff.
So you think that your child'sjust making cute videos with
their friends, but you don'tknow what they are seeing on
these platforms, and they areseeing stuff that you would
never, ever want your child tosee or be exposed to.
So you must know this.
(11:18):
And the other thing, too, inregards to TikTok, is that you
have to know that the ChineseTikTok is very different to the
TikTok that we have in theWestern world, and in China
they're only allowed to seeeducational things, and so in
China they're using TikTok tohelp build up their children.
In the Western world, they'reusing TikTok to destroy them.
(11:38):
It's important to understandthis, and that is what they're
using it for, because that iswhat it's doing.
There are other.
I'm just checking here with mynotes just to make sure that I'm
covering this.
I'm also there's another appcalled Tumblr that they use, and
apparently they write thesejoint stories on there and they
(12:03):
will do their theme to like theymight be themed to something
like Harry Potter, and thatsounds very innocent.
You think, oh, my child'swriting a Harry Potter story on
Tumblr Isn't that lovely, butthey are actually gay porn
stories.
That are very, very, verydetailed stories, and I was when
(12:26):
I heard the mothers talkingabout what was in these stories
and what they were about.
That's again it's.
You know, maybe you do wantyour children to be doing that
and that is fine, but you justat least need to know that this
is and it depends on their age,depends on lots of things.
So there's all these apps whereyou think they're doing, oh,
they're doing the writing HarryPotter stories.
(12:46):
That's great.
They've been creative with alltheir girlfriends.
Or you know, they're doingfunny dance videos on TikTok.
That's not what it appears tobe, and so it's really, really
important, and a lot of parentsjust don't know how to use these
apps.
If you don't know how to use theapp, your children shouldn't be
on them.
You should be on the app andyou should have absolute, 100%
(13:07):
access to their phones and whatthey're doing.
And in fact, in my opinion, oneof the solutions to this is
children.
Just, I don't think childrenshould have smartphones.
They are not built for it.
We were not built for it.
I'm glad that we didn't have itwhen we were children, and I
think it's destroying theirlives really.
(13:28):
So there are kinds of phonesyou can get that are smartphones
that kind of just allow you tomessage and ring your children.
That's the only kind of phonethat I think that children
should have these days, even ifall their friends have got the
latest and greatest.
It's your job to keep them safe, not be liked by them.
If they hate you, that's fine.
(13:48):
You're keeping them safe.
And if your children are reallyacting out a lot in regards to
not having their mobile phonewhich they will it gives you a
clue about how much a hold ithas on them and how much they
need to not have it if theyreally really can't cope with
not having it.
The other thing that's happeningis with boys.
They're playing all of thesegames.
(14:09):
I'm not saying girls aren'tdoing it as well, I'm
generalising, but there's a lotof games.
I know World of Warcraft.
I don't know, I'm not an experton the games that they're
playing, but in these games theyget to really quite high levels
and become quite significant,and my understanding is they get
a lot of status from that andthey feel really good about
themselves within the game.
(14:30):
The problem is that they cannotdo that in real life and often
they're the sort of person thatin real life is not seen and not
heard and not popular, and sothey're getting really, really
addicted to staying on the gamebecause, of course, if that's
the place where you feel goodabout yourself, that's the
problem.
(14:50):
So, again, children need to beyoung, people need to be
socialising.
They need to be out in theworld and socialising Absolutely
need that.
And the other part of what ishappening is there's a lot of
kids these days who a lot ofkids, diagnosed with a lot of
things and I'm not saying thatnone of it's true and none of
(15:10):
it's real and it doesn't haveits place.
Diagnoses have their place andof course, in Australia with our
NDIS system unfortunately orfortunately, whichever way you
look at it but a diagnosis isimportant for being part of that
system and getting support.
It also means that a lot ofpeople are seeking diagnosis and
diagnosis.
(15:31):
It can be a good thing and Ithink it can be a bad thing as
well, especially a lot of theself-diagnosis stuff right.
So they look online and theyfind out that they have social
anxiety or disorder and socialanxiety has become a thing.
A diagnosis of social anxietyWell, yeah, everyone has a
(15:52):
certain amount of social anxiety.
You know how you get out of overit you socialize.
Simple as that.
The only way to get over it andget around it is to do it right
.
You have to actually go out andsocialize.
And what's happened is we'vehad a couple of years of COVID.
That was really devastating fora lot of these kids.
They missed out on so manymilestones and so many rites of
(16:13):
passage and so much socializingand with kids that are home on
their devices instead of outsocializing with other people,
the amount of times they've beento someone's house and they've
got kids and the kids don'tgreet you or they can't even
look up from their device forlong enough to greet you.
All the kids sit at the kitchentable on their device just
(16:36):
looking down the whole time ontheir device, and they just
don't know how to socialize.
And I think if your kid can'tput that stuff down for five
minutes and learn how to haveeye contact with another person
and say hello, that's reallyproblematic for that child.
It really really is.
Excuse me, I'll just have adrink of tea and I'm not meaning
(17:02):
to have a go at anyone, justlike.
We've got to identify the issueand understand how big a
problem this is.
The other issue is that childrenare being told things like
they're being told that theworld is in climate catastrophe,
they're all going to die, theydon't have a future and
(17:23):
regardless of where you fall inthe climate change thing I'm not
a denier, but I'm also not acatastrophist I think there's
probably a middle road theresomewhere.
But regardless of where youfall with that, what is the
point in telling your children?
If you really believe that,what's the point in telling that
to your children?
Wouldn't you just not tell themthat and help them just live a
(17:46):
good life for as long aspossible, because it's not their
job to fix it?
So why, even you know, tellthem things that they can't do
anything about?
We used to actually not tellchildren things that they
couldn't do anything about, thatwhen their responsibility.
But now we put thatresponsibility onto the kids,
and not only that.
We actually some of us arecreating.
(18:07):
You know, we're really proud ofour Of activists that we're
creating.
We're creating the socialjustice warrior, children.
So it's being allowed to justbe kids and not have to think
about the world, not have toworry about all that stuff We've
actually got.
Them should ring the world'sproblems and thinking that it's
their job to fix it.
Not only that, but they're toldthat adults don't care about
(18:28):
the climate, adults don't careabout the planet rule, trying to
destroy it and you know, andthey've got to fix it.
And no wonder they're doingstupid things like throwing
paint on paint and on Beautifulpaintings and trying to destroy
them or super whatever theythrow on them, or hanging them,
dangling themselves off bridgesand stuff like that.
I mean it's absolutelyridiculous.
(18:48):
How, and it's not helpinganyone.
However, if you thought thatyou had no future and that
nobody cared about it, you'd bedoing something stupid like that
too.
They could be doing somethinguseful, because what in in our
world, the way we've resolvedany of those kinds of problems
in the past and stop the firsttime this world had problems Is
it's people who go and learn anduniversities, and that in their
(19:10):
, in workplaces and things aresmart.
People who are engineers and allsorts of other jobs, scientists
, and they learn, they discussthings, they figure things out,
they learn together and theycreate solutions.
So kids could be gettinginvolved in Solutions and some
of them, of course, are, butmany of them are just think that
the world's gonna end andthey're just working out.
(19:31):
And why wouldn't you, whywouldn't you just, why wouldn't
you rebel if you thought thatthat was the truth about the
world?
The other thing that'shappening as well is we've got
this, some of this, twodifferent kind of political
things that are coming through.
So one of them is criticaltheories, and I won't go into a
(19:52):
lot of detail about that rightnow, but essentially, critical
theories are just critical ofeverything that ever happened in
, especially in western worlds,and not helpful at all.
Not useful.
Just want to tear it all down.
And there's a lot of thingsabout the west western culture
in the western world.
There's a lot of things abouthistory that you know we're
(20:12):
really terrible and that youknow we've learned so much and
we've come so far and we can youknow we can learn from and move
forward.
However, these people just wantto tear it all down rather than
say, okay, this is this right,this isn't so good, let's fix
this, whatever.
I just want to tear everythingdown, this people who have no
interest in in nurturing orgrowing anything.
(20:34):
They just want to tear it down.
And that's what, unfortunately,what children are being taught
as well, and as part of all ofthese theories, this is thing
called post modernism.
That's essentially telling yourkids that this note nothing is
real.
Everything is a construct,everything is a social construct
.
So what your kids are beingtaught is that literally
(20:55):
everything is invented, and notonly is everything invented, but
it's invented by Horrible whitepeople that want to destroy the
world and who have only everdone bad things, never done
anything good.
Again, there's a balance witheverything.
White people have done reallygood things and we're done
really horrible things, and sohas every other race.
It's just the truth of theworld.
(21:17):
The history of the world iscomplicated and lots of violence
and lots of nasty stuff andslavery within every different
color and and nation, andthey're still slavery happening
in the world today.
There's terrible thingshappening in the world today and
people are less concerned aboutsome of those things and a
whole lot more concerned aboutthings that happened 200 years
ago, 300 years ago.
Then what's actually happeningnow?
(21:40):
So, anyway, because they'rebeing told that there's no such
thing as truth.
Everything's being constructed,and they're also being told
that there's no such thing asboys and girls.
All there is, but there isn'tso because there's no such thing
as boys and girls, but there isbecause you can become one of
the other.
So it's very confusing whatthey're being taught, but
(22:01):
essentially they're being taughtthat a boy can become a girl or
a girl can become a boy andpeople can live whatever way
they choose.
That's absolutely fine.
I've got no issue with that.
However, you literally cannotbecome the opposite sex.
Even if you have surgery, evenif you have hormones, you cannot
be the other.
You just can't right.
(22:22):
Unfortunately, it's a thingcalled biology.
You can't, and it doesn't meanthat people don't deserve
respect and don't deservekindness and that people don't
need to be supported in thechallenges that they're having
and all of that stuff.
This is not having a go at anyindividuals or any people who
are struggling with any of thosethings.
However, you can't lie topeople.
(22:43):
Lying to people doesn't make itbetter.
Telling them that they can besomething they're not is not
helpful, and, in actual fact,what we're doing now is the one
in the hundred people that hadthese issues that you could help
them when they had the problem.
Or now we're telling all thechildren that they can be
(23:05):
something different.
There's one family that was online recently a woman who's got
four children, who all happen tobe trans.
They've all been born in thewrong body.
What's the chance that they'veall been born in the wrong body?
All that, that woman is just.
Yeah.
I won't say what I think aboutthat woman, but that's just.
(23:25):
Unfortunately, all of thesemedical and this is a whole
topic for another day but WPATH,who are the body behind pushing
all of this into medicalpractice and that sort of thing
in the United States there's alot of evidence that's just come
up in the last week or so thatshowing that they know the harms
(23:46):
of doing this to children andthey're not.
They don't care.
So anyway, I think that issomething a topic for a whole
big topic for another day.
But, yeah, changing a wholebunch of children with hormones
and surgeries and living withthe terrible consequences of
(24:06):
that.
There's so many detransitionersnow Europe have, like in
Finland and Sweden and placeslike that.
They did all this stuff firstwith kids and then they realized
it wasn't working and they saidlook wrong way, go back, please
don't do this.
It's not working.
These children are notbenefiting from this at all.
It's actually having theopposite effect.
But we're still going straightahead in the US and Australia,
(24:31):
unfortunately.
Hopefully things will changesoon, but my theory is first in
a harm.
It's always first in a harm.
So, anyway, whole other topic,and I know a lot of people get
angry about me saying that, butthat is just the truth as I see
it.
I think that we have beenfrightened into not saying the
(24:53):
truth and we have been told thatit's more compassionate to just
accept things and not say thetruth.
But it is not compassionate.
To not tell the truth does nothelp people.
To not tell the truth andletting people, letting
children's bodies, people should, in the name of compassion,
(25:13):
that's not compassion.
So I just can't abide by thatme personally.
And the other thing that we'rebeing told is if we talk about
any of these issues where somesort of ist or some sort of
phobe no, we're just having adiscussion, that's all.
I don't hate anybody, I don'twant anything bad for anybody, I
(25:36):
just want a healthy society andto have that we need to learn
how to have these conversations,and I could be wrong about some
things or write about somethings, and I'll learn more as I
go along.
That's fine.
However, we need to have thesediscussions.
We can't help our children orhelp our society if we can't
(25:59):
have the discussions.
So it's really, reallyimportant that we have these
discussions.
The other thing that I justwanted to mention as well look
at, this episode is alreadygetting a bit long, so I don't
want to keep it going for toomuch longer.
But the other thing here I justhad some notes here, so I was
(26:22):
telling you about Dr Phil's book.
Sorry, I'm arming so much inthis one.
It's just a difficult topic andI know I'm going to get a lot
of pushback on this, so it'sjust a bit harder to talk about
this stuff because I'm used tobeing told I can't talk about it
.
So, sorry, I'm struggling a bitwith just how to word this.
Anyway, the other thing inregards to what young people are
(26:46):
being taught is they're beingtaught that their feelings
matter more than anything, andso it's all about their feelings
.
It's only about their feelings.
Now, my generation was quitethe opposite, which maybe was or
wasn't good or bad, I don'tknow.
Like I said every generationthey get things wrong, they get
(27:07):
things right.
So we had a time where peoplecouldn't talk about feelings and
where we weren't having that,and that wasn't necessarily
healthy, and I do think it isimportant that we learn how to
identify our feelings andunderstand them.
And if we can identify ourfeelings, we can verbalize
things better and we can resolvethings better or we can
understand ourselves better.
So I do not have any problemwith identifying and
(27:30):
understanding our feelings.
I think that is important.
However, young people are beingtaught that their feelings are
the most important thing andthey are the only thing and your
feelings are.
Often they're just short termthings that relate to some event
that's happened and they arenot the most important thing.
The world doesn't care aboutyour feelings.
Unfortunately, if you teachyour child that the world cares
(27:52):
about their feelings totally andit's most important thing,
they're going to struggle inlife because out in the world
nobody cares about it.
It's just.
The truth is that we all haveour feelings right and our
feelings are very subjective andwhile it is, like I said, good
to learn to own them and to havethem and to identify them and
do something useful about it,the world doesn't necessarily
(28:14):
have to know or care about everyfeeling that you have.
And the problem is that whatwe're doing now is, in the name
of being, of building upchildren and self-confidence,
which you can't build upsomebody's self-confidence they
must do it themselves.
I talked in a previous episodeabout forging our identity,
because there's always kidsonline creating their identities
(28:36):
out of thin air by watchingTikTok videos.
It's the same thing withself-esteem you can't build it
for someone else.
So self-esteem is developed andit's developed by going out
there and having a go right.
It is developed by going outand being part of the world and
you fall over and you get upagain, you fall over again and
you make a mistake and you havea faux pas here and you do
(28:57):
something wrong there, and it'sbasically just going out and
living right.
You go out and live and you goto and you study and you get a
job and all the different thingsand you learn and you get
confident in yourself becauseyou're able to do the thing.
So, essentially, ourself-esteem is built up bit by
bit, for everything that we'reable to do for ourselves Doesn't
(29:20):
build up because you're toldthat here's your participation
trophy and you're the best andyou're wonderful and you can do
everything.
No, you can't do everything.
Not everyone can do everything.
Right, I'm five foot tall.
I'm never going to be a probasketballer, right?
The truth is not everyone cando everything.
We can do a lot and it is goodto aim for a lot, but you know,
(29:40):
telling children that they canbe anything, they can do
anything and they're wonderfuland here's your participation
trophy I don't think is helpfuland we're actually seeing that
that this over psychology thingand again, psychology has a
really useful place, not havinga go at it per se, but what
we're doing is we're just havingkids just talk about their
feelings constantly, all thetime.
(30:02):
And I was listening to JordanPeterson recently.
He was talking to AbigailShrier.
She's got a new book about thisas well.
I haven't read it yet.
I'll get back to you when I do.
It's about this stuff, thissort of over-therapizing with
children where it's not needed.
Sometimes it very much isneeded.
Different therapist dodifferent approaches, so it
(30:22):
depends on the approach.
But Jordan was saying thatself-consciousness is a part,
like a subset, of neuroticismand he said that being
self-conscious and beingdepressed and anxious they're
not linked.
He said they're the same thing.
So I'm going to read that againbeing self-conscious and being
(30:47):
depressed and anxious they'renot linked, they are the same.
And what's happening?
I believe this self-consciousthing is coming about because
we're encouraging that thechildren are looking at
themselves online all day.
You see your reflection ofyourself and they're doing all
these videos where they'revideoing themselves with filters
, so they're seeing themselvesall day.
(31:08):
We used to see it like in themorning you put your makeup on
maybe, if you do even do thatand then you go out into the day
and you might catch up, look inthe mirror when you go to the
bathroom and just fix up yourmakeup or something right, so we
would see ourselves a couple oftimes a day.
Maybe these kids are seeingthemselves reflected in their
screens all day, and oftenthrough all these sorts of weird
(31:28):
and wonderful filters.
Actually, when they go for whenpeople go for surgery now they
have to get like facelifts ornot facelifts, but you know
plastic surgery what they'redoing is they're taking these AI
images of themselves becausethey see themselves through AI
generated pictures.
So they're not taking a pictureof a movie star or something.
(31:49):
They're taking the AI image ofthemselves and wanting to be
turned into this AI thing.
So, anyway, these kids arelooking at themselves all of the
time and through all sorts ofweird and wonderful filters, and
they're being told all of thetime to think about their
feelings and how do they feeland what do they feel like they
are today, and they're havingemotional checks in the schools
(32:10):
about how are you feeling.
And the problem is that we aremaking them miserable because
we're making them self-conscious.
In actual fact, you know, humanthis is.
I'm just going to read thisquote from Jordan Peterson
because I think it's very goodand I might leave it there.
Human wellbeing is a propersituation in a hierarchy that
(32:33):
includes the social environment.
So what that implies is themore you think about yourself,
the less you are focusing on howto establish solid, reliable
and reciprocal relations,intimate relationships,
friendships, bonds of a familyand less tightly wound binding
that you would have with a broadcommunity.
(32:55):
And I don't think I read thatvery well, but essentially what
it's saying is, if you justfocus on yourself, that just
leads to depression, anxiety andmiserableness, whereas if you
go out and you just get involvedin your society and you connect
it to your family and youconnect it to your environment,
your society, your workplaces,your friendship groups, your
(33:16):
schools, wherever it is.
When you go out and createrelationships in all of those
places and spend time doing that, that creates wellbeing, that
creates good physical and mentalhealth.
When you spend all your timelooking at your image on your
phone and trying to decide howyou relate or who you think you
are, that actually just makesyou really, really depressed and
anxious.
(33:36):
So I've gone over way over thanI want to.
I think this is a series really, but I just would encourage you
to rethink your child's accessto smartphones and rethink their
access to very definitely tosocial media platforms.
I didn't even get into some ofthe some of the stuff.
Anyway, I'd love to be futureepisodes because I've gone way
(33:57):
over time.
I would love to hear yourfeedback and if you're an expert
on any of these kinds of issuesand you would like to come onto
the podcast, please contact me.
Fiona at informedhealthcomau, Ido really want to have further
discussions about this.
I don't pretend to be the worldexpert on it.
(34:17):
I'm just observing things.
I'm seeing that I feel quiteconcerning and I feel that a lot
of parents are just so busythat they just don't, they're
not fully aware of all of this,so I think it's important to
bring it to their attention.
I hope this was helpful to youand and please understand this
it was intentioned from the bestof places.
(34:38):
I know that some people willstill get offended and insulted
by it.
I know the world's that's theworld, isn't it that we don't
always like things, butsometimes we have to hear things
that we don't like, and that'sjust how it is, and actually
that's some that's.
The other thing, too, is thatwith free speech, free speech is
(34:59):
really, really important andfree speech allows us to think.
So when we have conversations,we can think through things and
we can navigate through thingsand we can work with them
together.
So, right or wrong, having thediscussion is really really
important and it's how we get tobetter answers.
But shutting down speech, notlistening to things we don't
want to hear, doesn't help withthat.
(35:20):
So, right or wrong, I dobelieve that we do need to have
these discussions, thechallenging discussions, but
they need to be had and throughthese discussions we will come
up with solutions.
That's not through shuttingeach other down.
So I, so I invite you to keepthat in mind and I'm happy to
hear your feedback.
(35:40):
If you just want to troll me,go away, but if you actually
have genuine feedback, I wouldlove to hear that and I will be
doing more on these kinds oftopics, because they are
affecting the health of themental health particularly, but
also the physical health ofyoung people today, and I think
that someone needs to stand upfor them, even if they are going
(36:01):
to get hate for it.
Anyway, I hope you have a greatweek.
Please like, subscribe, shareall of the usual things and I'll
see you next week.
Thank you, bye.
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