In this episode, Medusa shares her past brow waxer's past as an esthetician, revealing some of her clients' shocking hygiene. PAHMOANAH BULITZ follows with tales from her dental assistant days, emphasizing hygiene issues. (You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that hygiene is the common denominator!) The Clink-Clink Gang also discusses childhood bullying, and PAHMOANAH BULITZ updates us on her neighbor's lingering Halloween decor. Plus, why doesn't Oregon have HOAs? Tune in for these surprising stories!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Okay, I understood the strategy about hot spots, but the little fucking rock that people would throw and shit like I didn't know what that fucking meant.
(00:07):
So maybe if the
Maybe if the fucking rock was um alcohol, maybe both of us would understand the entire fucking game all together. Welcome to our podcast.
Good afternoon, bestie. Good afternoon, my bestie bestie of all besties.
(00:28):
That's a triple B right there.
I know.
Boom.
Okay, so for the listeners, I already told Pomona Bullets that I woke up. I woke up, I guess, sick. I have a cold. Why does regular water taste like sewage when you're sick?
You know what? I think it's because it is sewage. But, but you know, it's better than drinking out of the plastic bottles where you get that what is that shit called?
(00:55):
What they say.
Yeah, that BPH.
Yeah, that.
Yeah, who fucking knows. We just we all just need some of those little systems that just what I don't know.
Clear it out or whatever. I don't know. It's fucking all water just tastes disgusting when you're sick. So there's that it does. But you know what? It doesn't taste as good as the hose water.
(01:16):
There you go. There you go. Remember, we you remember.
That's the original Corona virus vaccine right there. People drink that you'll be good. Yeah, you just be playing high and seek doing a block like party type shit like.
(01:37):
And then you just go to somebody's house and just grab their hose. I'm thirsty. Right. Because I can't go three more steps inside to get a glass of water. Yeah, I don't want the sewage water from my sink. I'll just take it from your hose. There you go.
Yeah, no, it does suck being sick sucks.
Well, your senses when you lose the.
(02:07):
Yeah, it's my left like I think it was yesterday where I'm like, oh, I'm better. I should take a bed and drill before I go to bed because I thought it was just my allergies. I didn't do it. And then by 10 o'clock this morning, I'm like, oh, I'm actually sick.
Whatevs. Yeah, I'll take a bed and drill tonight though. Cause I don't have any night. Well, it's the same fucking shit.
Well, I'm kind of keeps you up. Doesn't it. No, it makes you sleepy. Oh, oh, shit. Yeah, I already be me up. Scotty. I'll fucking.
(02:35):
There you go. Fucking already. Nettie potted to so that I guess is helping. I guess. I don't know. I put a little humidifier in my son. Oh, you know what? I well, that's not going to help. I sleep with my windows wide open. See, that's bad.
I don't know. Yeah, it would be better if I didn't. But it's fucking, you know, I need the fresh air. Yeah, I know me too. If I could just have if there wasn't spiders and snakes and nutria.
(03:05):
I would just put a slight thought. You would just move back to the city.
It's just so insane. I woke up this morning and like legit, I know this is going to sound gross, but I was just I couldn't. So I think obviously I don't think we had any listeners comment on our squeaky eye.
(03:31):
Oh, I haven't had that lately, but I'm sure I'm going to have that now that I'm sick.
I got that squeaky eye, man. Just like, I can hear it. I think other people, if somebody was sitting next to me, I think they could hear it. I don't know. I don't know. Oh my God.
(03:53):
I don't know. I'm just like, oh, shit. I'm out of bullets. Got the squeaky eye.
So it was just Saturday off, right? And you had Thursday off. Oh, I did have Thursday off, but I was told to come and to work.
Oh, why did you get it's not fucking Labor Day. Like what's going on?
(04:16):
I fucking I don't you know what? And I was like, yeah, sure. I'm totally gonna. Yeah, I can totally come in. You know what I did? Fuck that ain't coming in. Yeah, I was like, no, no, I'm so fucking sick and tired of working six days a week.
Nope.
Well, you just relaxed on your days off.
(04:37):
Well, I guess you could say that.
Well, besides chores, I guess. I'm sure your chores and whatever.
Yeah, no, I was just dealing with a bunch of just, you know, life shit.
She got it. Yeah. I'm so ready. I'm so ready for Nate Diaz to knock the fuck out of this. Like, I'm just going to put all my is that next. That's next week.
(05:03):
Yes.
Oh, no, it's June 15 June 1 or June 1. Okay, so it's not next week. Next week is on page van Zad debuts as bare knuckle boxing. It's May 25. I love BKFC.
She's debuting. What? Yes. She that's her new gig. So she's doing that May 25.
(05:26):
Whoa. Okay. Well, on my calendar as of now.
Um, yeah, let me know how it goes. I don't know where you can do. I guess if you have the channel, I don't know what channel girl. No, I have a BKFC little thing and it's like annual and I don't know.
But for some reason, it's always grainy when but what do you expect for $40 a year? Like, I don't know.
(05:53):
Oh, well, you know what, take what you can get girl. I'm like, you know what, just say I'll just let it buffer for fucking 30 minutes and then I'll put away.
There you go.
Yeah.
Yes, ma'am. Geez. Yeah, I've been punching people in the throat all day today. So I just want to let you know, just be well.
(06:15):
You left your house today? No.
Verbally.
Verbally. And just mentally as I just, you know, do my yoga and I'm just like not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Namaste. Yeah. Namaste.
(06:36):
Not, not a stay.
Yeah. No, but I'm pretty good. Pretty good.
Okay.
Well, I told you I had a story. I guess we can get into my story and then I have another thing. But so I went and got my brows done on Thursday. I've been seeing the same girl for like, since 2010.
And I don't know how we got into this conversation. I go to Nordstroms to get my brows done because they have the Anastasia brows studio there. That's where I go.
(07:03):
Okay, wait, wait, wait, I have to interject. Is it just like waxing or waxing and reshape. Yeah.
Go. So I go to her and I don't know how we got on the subject of her like her first like, so an esthetic, you know what an esthetician is right?
Yeah, an esthetician they wax, they do the facials all that. That's what she is obviously.
(07:28):
So I don't even know how we got into her first gig before she was working at Nordstrom because she's been at Nordstroms for like 15 years or whatever.
She was telling me, I think it was European, it's called European wax center or something like that. She's like, that's where I was. I want to say that's where she was working at.
I don't know one of those but she's like, Medusa, that was my first gig. And as soon as they had me and she's like, you know, you have to get your, at those places you get your badge waxed.
(07:57):
And I'm like, oh, I used to get my badge wax and I'm just like, I'm like, that would never be me. I'm just like, you know what, that just cool but I just don't want to see it every day and have it in my face so I can wax it.
And she's like, let me tell you this. And I'm like, oh boy. So apparently I guess, have you ever got your badge wax?
(08:18):
Of course. I mean, I had to put my fucking ankle above my fucking shoulder and just add these little, yeah, yeah, I'm like, okay.
So when you went to get your badge wax, did you like clean up beforehand? Like you wouldn't just go over there like, I don't know, not shower?
Well, like, like you need a weed wacker? No. But no, but you would be clean, I guess is my thing, right?
(08:43):
Oh yeah, yeah, there's no dingleberries and shit like that.
Yeah, or like, you would, yes, she was telling me she's like that. She's like, that's when I had to start looking for a new job because girls would come in and not be showered and they'd just be gross and stinky down there.
I'm just like, oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh, I'm like, well, yeah, she's like, and then she's like, ever since I've been working in North Trump, she's like, I will never wax a badge again.
(09:08):
Girl, I don't fucking blame you. Just the way she was explaining it, I was just like, oh my God, I'm like, oh no, I'd have been like that. She got to get up and shower and then come back.
Like, I am not touching that. I'm sorry, you want me to do what?
Girl.
Yeah.
No. And you got a man like, no, like you shower for your man, you shower for me before I strip this shit.
(09:31):
Like, I want to see what man you with that even fucking things, but just turning off the lights is going to make it better. Like, no, oh, I mortified. I wanted to throw up when she was telling me this and I'm just like, I would, I'm like, it feels like the nicest person.
So she probably never said anything to the clients. I'd have been like, oh no, I'm like, I'm clogging out permanently.
(09:54):
Isn't it so nice when you have people that just fucking just throw it out on the table. They just see you, your light comes into the room and you can be a bitch, but your light just shines, right.
And they just, they just, because that one is called your light.
Yes, it's your soul, your soul shines. It's your like a little fucking lighthouse and these motherfuckers just think like, hi, I know you're a bitch, but here's my whole grandma has cancer.
(10:22):
I hate waxing pussy.
They just, they just give you the, they just laid out on the table. You're like, wow, wow. But that's interesting because I, when I was in the dental field.
Oh, I can't. Oh, I can't even, I would never be able to work in the dental field just because.
(10:43):
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Couldn't I just wow.
I used to put the little, the little mask that stupid little, well the COVID mask, everybody knows, but the dentist, the doctor, that little mask.
I used to pop so many bonacca and gum and I would just chew, chew, chew and just try to smell my own breath because.
(11:05):
Oh, no.
Yes, because it is real man.
People, you would think, you would think, you would think they would brush your teeth just to come to the dentist to clean.
Oh, no. Oh, I'm so grossed out right now.
Come on, I'm like, Medusa.
Medusa.
I legit, I, yeah, I was like, this job is not for, for you, me.
(11:35):
No, no, and it was during the era where everybody was doing the tongue ring and trying to put their, the little bar, do it themselves.
And I just infected motherfuckers with the big ass.
There was one gal that she had.
Oh, get ready.
(11:57):
Are you buckled up? Are you buckled up?
I'm sitting down.
This gal will an elder.
I mean, I was like, I don't know, maybe.
I don't know, 24, 25, it was before G unit.
So, um, yeah, they, she had a piece of like, it looked like cauliflower, like the little, the little like broccoli, the little, the heads or whatever.
(12:24):
Yeah, yep, right above.
It was on the top and we duck.
It wasn't a cauliflower girl.
It was a growth.
It was a growth.
I know, I know, I know, we are not because she had a piercing or just because just because I mean this.
(12:48):
But it was like a little piece of cauliflower, I guess you could say, but I was dying size.
It was that a little piece of cauliflower that usually just leave on the plate.
You don't need it.
God, that is so it was so and we had to.
We used a good, well, not me, because I was just, I was in training, I was an apprentice.
(13:13):
So I'm just there holding the cup.
I'm just there with the whatever, but son of a monkey, they, the dentist used a torch.
For what?
For the cauliflower.
Yeah, to get it off.
They use a little lamp, like they use a little.
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
(13:34):
And then they just went like torch.
You know, it's, oh my God, I would have thrown up in my COVID mask.
Girl, I, I freaking fell over in my chair.
I was just like, I can't.
The mouth is so disgusting.
So I cannot even fathom how gross like you have to be a, like a special individual.
(14:00):
I'll just say special.
I was going to say sick, but a special individual to help the people, whether it's the.
Who, huh?
Or the mouth, like just because it's, they're both disgusting.
People are disgusting.
It depends on how their hygiene is.
God.
Yeah.
(14:21):
Well, this went south real fucking quick.
Yeah.
I'm just telling you girl, like shit.
I can't, I can't even imagine.
I can't even imagine.
I can't even imagine.
I can't even imagine.
You know what, I used to get so embarrassed when my esthetician or.
Is that he's an SSS.
Yeah, I can't say it, but.
No worries.
(14:42):
Yeah.
When they would say just grow it a little bit so that way it could pick up like the wax.
Oh yeah.
Clean.
So it's like you can't just like buzz it off or whatever or try to be clean.
It off and stuff.
And that's why I stopped going because I guess my brow girl, she's like, yeah.
(15:05):
And then she was telling me how like girls would, I guess just shave.
And then they would end up with ingrown hairs.
And I'm like, huh, that's weird because I got the opposite when I would get waxed.
That's when I got my ingrown hairs.
Like I have no problem shaving down there.
I think we've had this conversation.
I do it twice fucking week.
And I've never had an ingrown hair knock on wood from shaving from fucking waxing
(15:28):
all the fucking time.
Really?
Yeah.
So I was just like, and plus it was painful.
I'm like, oh no, I'm just going to go back to big in it.
Where's that big at?
You know what?
I just use a one clip.
I use a one clip.
I love you.
Pomona bullets.
Fuck.
(15:49):
I'm too old.
Too old for this shit.
Yeah, that's that's.
Ew.
So that's even you were for the fucking mouth.
I know.
Oh, I'm mortified.
I fainted.
I fainted.
I fainted one time.
All I had to do.
(16:10):
Just once.
I was fainted every fucking time.
You know what?
When I felt my ears, the top of my ear lobes or my ear.
Oh, my God.
I was like, oh, it's time to bat.
Yeah.
I have to go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my
face or something because.
Oh, my God.
There was the very, very, very first time.
(16:32):
And this is like old school.
You remember the assistant had that little chair that had that
little.
Yes.
Yep.
Okay.
They don't.
Yeah, they don't have that anymore.
No, they don't do it.
I know what the fuck happened to that fucking.
I don't know, but it used to be there.
We used to have those.
Yeah.
I remember.
(16:53):
The doctor telling me I was an IDP department.
It is international dental program department and Loma Linda.
Demo university.
And the doctor told me all you have to do.
The monobullets is hold this cup.
And.
Just hold this cup.
(17:13):
The water that they needed.
No, it was, it was because this, this lady wanted full mouth
dentures and she only had 14 teeth left.
So we had to take them out.
Oh, no.
So all I had to do.
Yeah.
Well, nitrous.
And I was learning the whole nitrous and she kept saying I had a
(17:36):
beautiful smile.
I'm like, I don't know how the fuck you.
Think I have a beautiful smile and have a mask on, but okay.
I think maybe my eyes smile.
Yeah.
Okay.
Whatever.
Rest.
He's.
I smile because I have all my teeth intact.
Yeah.
I'm just like, dude, her teeth or so.
(17:57):
Just yikes.
But she only had 14.
And all I had to do was hold the cup.
And the.
He was pulling them out.
Yeah.
And, and, and my other job was to get the HB E.
So the HB E is that, that little, it sucks up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That big white little.
The assistant puts in, but this wasn't that it was a little
(18:21):
metal one that it has to go into when the doctor removed the
tooth.
It goes.
Oh my God.
Into the hole.
Yeah.
I thought I could do it.
Mind you, I was hungover.
I was like, yeah, I was just like, Oh no.
(18:43):
And I was like, I could do this.
So I'm holding the cup.
I think the doctor dropped.
And I wouldn't even look.
I would look.
Put the HB E in there.
I thought I could do it.
I thought I could do it.
Put the HB E in there.
Socket.
Oh yeah.
The socket.
That's what it's called.
And then I, and I just after like the fourth tooth.
(19:08):
Got 10 more girls.
Fuck and microphone drop.
I'm out.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck all this shit.
I don't ever want to be a dentist.
I'm out by.
I'm done dude.
I can't do this.
I can't.
It was.
I think I fainted.
(19:29):
I fainted because it was just like.
And the smell, it was the smell.
It wasn't even the.
Think about that.
It wasn't the blood and the broken teeth or I guess.
The rotten.
Yeah.
Oh, don't.
You think she's crushing those 14 teeth every day.
(19:50):
You think she's playing list during her mouth?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not.
Okay.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
Now.
Now.
Fuck.
Shit.
She's going to put a little peroxide up in that grill.
Like, fuck.
Fucking be like a mad dog.
Just fucking.
Oh, rabies.
(20:11):
Yeah.
Just fucking let that peroxide just fucking eat all the.
Ew.
Yuck.
Like, I don't know.
Like, did you smoke your teeth?
Like, I don't know what the fuck happened.
I don't know.
Yeah.
You know what?
I, I like to.
I like to.
Uh, uh, judge a book by its cover all day long.
I, I do like that.
I do.
(20:32):
I love it.
Because I, I mean, we're old.
Been there,
done that.
Fuck, and don't tell me.
Like,
The proof is in the socket.
Yeah.
This is in the socket.
Yeah.
The proof is in the socket, but those green don't tell me you ate lemon that much.
(20:56):
And I don't know why they always used to say that it was acid from a lemon or lime.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
I have never heard that in my life.
Well, you haven't been in the dental field.
Like they can say that.
And I'm like, nah, bitch, that's that's fucking cigarettes.
That's fucking nicotine.
That's fucking mess.
(21:16):
Oh, that is fucking that's that's fucking that's just that's just neglect.
Like you never you you you fucking used to wake up.
You probably didn't even wash your face, let alone brush your fucking teeth.
That's why you don't have any.
She probably had a spot free face, though, unlike me, who still breaks out.
Oh, but not.
(21:37):
How do I but I'm just like, I just blame it on stress.
But there you go.
Yeah.
So I so just a side of the teeth in the mouth area.
I I would not even want to go below the belt.
Please no.
Nope.
There's some dirty ass dirty ass bees out there.
(22:00):
Huh.
I don't even know.
It's not even mortified.
That's not the right adjective.
Right.
And it's I'm speechless.
Hey, maybe just made.
I don't know what the proper Karen word is that I need to use for this.
For what you just told me.
I'm what you call our listeners.
You know what listeners?
(22:22):
It's called hygiene.
Fuck it.
It's called self respect.
It's called you only got one life.
One vehicle.
Just oh my God.
OK, well, let's change topics.
OK.
What's on you?
I'm going to have way too many questions.
(22:44):
I know you have nightmares.
If we keep you have nightmares, let's just let's go because I don't even want
to think about the who ha's now.
Yeah.
Sorry, I had that.
I told you I had a funny on gross story that was the who hot thing.
And oh my God.
OK, well, clearly, you know what?
I don't even want to go into that realm of who is like, you if the mouth alone.
(23:10):
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't even know.
I don't know.
But let's.
Yeah, let's do you have to work next Monday?
It's Memorial Day.
How about we change topics real quick?
So glad that you brought that up.
I'm sure you are because I'm sure it's like barbecue season or I guess summer
(23:31):
season and crazy season.
And I have to make fucking balloon arches and shit.
How about cool fuck off and how about don't tell me happy Memorial Day?
I mean, how is that happy?
Just a to all the listeners.
Don't ever tell anybody whether they're a veteran or whether it's just anybody.
(23:56):
It is not a happy fucking Memorial Day.
It's not.
You know what memorial.
The remembrance exactly.
Remember.
Yeah.
Remember, you know what?
You we should all have a paid day off.
So just a moment in silence, right?
No, no, we're going to fucking blow up balloons and shit.
(24:17):
And second, second, have all the inventory on sale and I now off.
It'll day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's do this.
Is it Dia de los Muertos or like fucking we're not celebrating death.
Like, no, we're not.
Right.
Like Americans don't do that shit.
(24:38):
Memorial Day.
It's to remember the ones that have fallen for the furries and for.
Oh my God.
Everybody else in this fucking world.
Fucking they did that.
They girl, they lost their lives for this country and you know what?
(25:01):
Yeah.
You know what?
They're rolling in their fucking grave right now and we're going to blow up
balloons and have a fucking sale.
Fuck.
I hear this podcast.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to the listeners.
I'm so sorry.
I I try to warn you guys.
I was not.
I'm not having it today.
(25:22):
I'm throat touching all day today.
I don't know.
OK, so I have a question that let's segue into something positive.
It's going to turn negative for a little bit.
I'm sure because I have words on this as well.
But let me ask you this because I read this slide or this post on Instagram
and I got me thinking I'm like shit.
Hmm.
OK, so let me ask you this.
(25:43):
OK, let me actually read.
Oh, how do I want to pose this to you?
OK, let me ask you this and then I'll read what the Instagram says.
OK, so I'm going to ask you if you're sitting around when you were growing up.
OK, so you got your mom and dad at home.
You got all your sisters.
If you're sitting around doing nothing, come on, a bullets.
How do you feel or like did your parents like ever like what do they say?
(26:06):
If you're sitting around doing nothing.
Go outside.
OK, or like they just didn't like you sitting around doing nothing.
Right.
Yeah, OK, same with me.
Like you always have to be productive.
You got to be doing something like pick up a room or something.
Yeah, thank you.
So I read this post on Instagram and I got me thinking I'm like, man.
(26:29):
OK, so the post said women who feel uncomfortable resting were once little
girls who were taught productivity and achievement were directly tied to their worthiness.
And I'm like, yeah.
Interesting.
Continue.
Very.
No, that was the post.
(26:49):
And I got me thinking I'm like, I know my parents were boomers and they were
both from different countries and they were taught to not fucking like, I
guess, not do anything.
But I'm like, huh, they always had me fucking getting up and doing shit.
And I'm just like, you know what?
This is probably the most important thing.
This is probably this post is like Instagram posts is like at least for me legit.
(27:16):
I don't know.
I can't speak for you.
But I was like, you can't like really be sitting around doing nothing.
Yeah, no, you shouldn't.
Because then if you're if you're not growing, you're dying.
So well, yeah, but you need to enjoy your quiet, your downtime, too.
I'm not saying that.
1000 percent.
But guess what?
Children don't get to enjoy downtime.
(27:39):
You're not even fish growing.
You're not even grown.
Like stop.
Yeah, but you need to have quiet.
So you agree with the, I guess your parents did.
I guess the way you were raised.
You know what?
Well, I don't think I have much weight on this because I they didn't give two
shits about me.
(28:00):
My dad would say, bring me a beer.
And I'm like, OK, I'm coloring in my bedroom and I'm on the floor.
I didn't even have any padding under my carpet on my floor.
It was like cement and just like some random fucking carpet.
It was gross.
That's like an elementary school where you're in that thin ass carpet.
(28:20):
And ass in red burgundy.
Burnt orange.
Exactly. Yeah. OK.
Yeah. Oh, OK.
Well, yeah, we had different upbringings.
So I guess, yeah, that makes sense.
Then I like, yeah, I just but yeah, just but there was times when I was growing up
and I can legit this you can take this to the bank and fucking this check will cash.
(28:48):
I hated the fact that I was trying to color and I was doing so many things
and I was always trying to artist.
Yeah, I was. Yeah, and I always was.
And, you know, sometimes I wanted my my me time, like because I was focused.
I was right. My coloring book at that moment.
(29:10):
And for my parents to just be.
The crazy parents that they were.
Yeah, I used to get mad.
I would get very mad and I would talk back and I would say shut up.
Oh, because they were fighting.
No, because they would say do something and I'm like, oh, OK, God,
(29:30):
why don't you do something?
You know what? And you were actually doing something you liked
and you weren't causing fucking harm or you weren't starting a fucking,
I guess, I don't know, you weren't causing chaos, right?
Yeah, you don't got to worry about me.
You know, I'm in my room.
You know, I'm coloring. That's right. That's it.
I'm not I'm not even. Yeah.
But it was always like, yeah, do something.
(29:51):
Well, yeah, you know what? Bring you a beer.
You want me to know, like, you know what?
They were mad that you were enjoying yourself and I guess your peace.
Yeah, you've always been a peaceful person then, huh?
I tried to be.
And then that's what the dragon woke up.
And so what? I'm sorry.
So the dragon woke up the sleeping dragon with him.
(30:13):
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
But no, I was very peaceful, very peaceful.
I was I was like the weird, weird, weird kid that just didn't talk.
I always listened.
I was very plain plain Jane.
I people used to just put me down all the time, like, oh,
(30:34):
she needs to eat some more or she needs to.
I was the same way because my parents were just like,
just ignore like the bullies because me and I don't know if my brother got bullied.
I got bullied and fucking elementary.
I think all well, I shouldn't say all kids got bullied.
Either you got bullied or you're the bully.
So I got bullied. So did I.
And now I should look everybody up because it's hilarious.
(30:54):
My daughter got bullied growing up and I'm like, I'm like, why are you?
She wouldn't stand up.
Oh, I shouldn't talk about. I won't talk about it here.
Yeah, we will. We will.
No, we'll talk about that.
All the bullies, at least in my daughter's life,
were fucking fat and nasty now.
Yeah, so I'm right.
It's called karma.
It is. It is called karma.
(31:14):
And and I am so thankful because, OK,
I'm just going to throw it out there.
I was premature when I was born and I wasn't supposed to make it.
But I made it. Of course. Oh, boy.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You're welcome, you're welcome, world.
(31:35):
I'm going to eat it.
Yeah, I fucking made it.
And I had a little bit of issues
in my younger days, especially like, let's just say kindergarten.
So I had these random little muscle.
(31:56):
I don't know.
Like, yeah, I just looked like I was just eating my fucking
trying to eat my fucking left ear lobe or some shit at some times.
Like, because your left ear wasn't right or what do you what do you mean?
Well, it was just like spasms.
It was just things that I couldn't control.
So it but it looked like I was like my head was always like
(32:21):
it would just twitch to my left.
OK, got it. Yeah.
And it sucked.
Fucking man, shit.
So what was wrong then?
And well, I was premature and I was a drug baby.
So anyways.
OK, so I had to deal with that for a minute.
(32:43):
And it sucked.
And I got bullied quite a bit.
I was very introvert.
Yeah. But I was like, but I was like super, like super smart.
Like, I knew, I don't know.
But people just, man, they're mean.
They're mean. But if only you took up MMA at the age of five instead of
(33:03):
all I was like, that's what I'm telling you. I was like, yeah,
I was just so sweet.
I was so sweet and so calm and just kind of like, hmm, I was so dull.
So just, I don't know.
I just sat there and I just listened and I just whatever it was.
(33:24):
I just did good in school.
They wanted to advance me two grades
because they were like Pomona Bullets read all the C Dick
run and Jane fucking play and all this bullshit.
I I read those books.
I'm like, can we get a encyclopedia?
(33:44):
Pretend it in here.
Can I learn about the roar Borealis?
Yeah, it was weird.
I was so weird.
I, yeah, I used to just don't talk to me.
I didn't care. I was I was a weird ass kid.
I was speaking.
I was crazy now that if you think about it because, well, you have kids,
(34:07):
but they're grown like me.
But like, if you just think about it, like how you got bullied and how I got
bullied and then you just think about it, just like school.
The only thing that school is good for is to conform.
And then if you don't fit into the standards of what the teacher is fucking
saying or what the kids are fucking saying, then you're fucking ostracized.
(34:28):
So like there's not even a learning experience.
All you're learning in fucking elementary and I guess maybe junior high
and probably high school is human behavior and how to fucking fit in that box
until you you are finally fucking free.
Right. But.
In today's age, they learned that from their computer and their little
(34:51):
TikTok and Facebook and Instagram and shit.
And, oh, I'm getting bullied online.
Bullied online.
That's funny.
That's not right to shut it off.
Fucking funny.
Shut your fucking computer down.
You won't get bullied.
How about waking up and going to school every day and you will eat that.
(35:14):
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
That's pretty like, you know, I don't know.
Oh my God, this episode is so.
I know we need to be into a brighter level.
Okay, so speaking of, okay, go ahead.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm just like brighter, brighter notes.
Let's go.
Um, brighter note.
(35:34):
I got my mushroom tincture last night and I was going to do it today,
but I'm fucking sick and I didn't want to have the sick mess up with the
mushroom, taking a mushroom for the first time.
Or I guess it's not psychoactive fully, but I will want to be totally healthy
when I do take it.
So next weekend or maybe by Thursday, I can take it.
(35:54):
I would, I would highly recommend that you can at least breathe through your
nostrils.
Yeah, my nostrils are like not really working for me right now.
So that's all I was just like, I better wait.
I don't want to do it when I'm sick because I might not have the same.
Obviously, it won't have the same effect.
Well, how much research have you done?
(36:15):
I just, this one is not fully psychoactive and I wish it was, but I just
want to start small to see what happens and we can go from there.
So I just would like enlightenment and like I've read the good things about
what it does and that's the reason why it's fucking banned is because if
everybody was on mushrooms, they wouldn't give a fuck and they would
actually do what they want to do with their lives and not have anybody
(36:37):
hold them back because.
Yeah.
And guess what?
We were going to have to vote.
You know, take over.
Um, when it comes to when it comes to voting people, I don't know if I should
talk about this here.
We shouldn't.
We shouldn't.
We should shut that down.
I'm going to say is if voting actually mattered, it wouldn't, there wouldn't be
such a thing.
So put that in your fucking head.
(36:59):
Yeah.
Everybody just digest that for a minute.
It's just a split size with everybody.
It's like whatever.
Okay.
What can we talk about that's happy?
Oh, okay.
Did you lay out the way?
Did you clear?
Did you clean out your, um, your hot tub?
(37:20):
Girl.
Medusa.
Yes.
I guess.
Oh, you did.
Okay.
I'm like, I guess that's no.
I did.
But you know what?
This is going to be happy.
This makes me happy.
It might not make the listeners happy, but I want to rant about nerdy G.
This motherfucker, my neighbor, the skeleton guy.
(37:43):
Oh, fuck.
Did he like put a new, I guess, costume on the skeleton?
Um, you know, or what's going on?
All that.
That's all fucking insane.
But I, so I'm doing the hot tub.
I drained it.
I scrubbed it.
(38:05):
It's immaculate.
It is ready.
It's ready for anybody can go in there.
Not anybody because I don't let anybody go in there.
But this motherfucker, I just hear ting, ting, ting, ting, ting.
And he had that crazy ass dog.
Remember I was saying in the previous episodes and told you?
(38:27):
Yeah.
Okay.
That dog got euthanized.
Of course it should be.
Okay.
Boy, it bit somebody.
I don't remember.
Yeah.
It bit that lady in the face.
You don't, I don't remember this.
Yeah.
That the dog, the dog was crazy shit.
Yeah.
It was like he had this pickle.
Wait, he get charged or he didn't get like taken to court?
(38:51):
No, girl, please.
Over here.
Oh, no.
His dog bit me in the face.
Trust me.
I'd have been retired because I would have taken him to court and I would have
cleaned out his bank account.
You know what?
It was, I was just trying to stay in my lane.
I just moved here and they had some, I'll just say they had some political signs and
(39:17):
I guess this person came to pick up the political signs because the voting was over.
Yeah.
And yeah, this dog just wow.
I'm just wow.
Just, just yeah.
I just stayed in my lane.
I was like, I don't know.
That was a big nutria.
Yeah.
I was like that, that, that looked like it hurt.
(39:38):
But I don't know.
I'm not going to call 911 because I used to be a 911 dispatcher.
So no, no.
Mrs. Jones can't breathe again.
Like, no, I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyhow.
No.
Okay.
Sorry.
No, I know.
That's another thing.
(40:00):
Just yeah, but I'm not going to go there.
So we're doing lighter things.
So I'm just putting all, I feel like a mad scientist, like an alchemist.
Like, okay.
I'm just like, oh, I need bromine.
I need pH, Decreaser, this, I need that.
I, all these fucking, god dang things that I have to do that I have to YouTube.
(40:22):
Like, what do I do now?
What do I, so I'm doing everything for my hot tub to make it just good.
Right.
And they have two dogs now.
Wow.
Okay.
That is huge.
They got two more.
I don't know if they're pit bulls.
I don't know, but they're very unorderly dogs, I would say.
(40:45):
Okay.
These little motherfuckers keep barking.
Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar,
roar.
And I'm just in my hot tub, just putting a little dipstick, just trying to check the pH
balance and shit.
Not even, I'm not even, I'm not even fucking smoking.
Weed like I used to.
I'm not even fucking bumping my music like I normally do.
(41:07):
Wait, they're barking at you?
Yeah.
Oh, god damn it.
And I'm just going out there just to check my levels in my hot tub.
Right.
I'm not even, girl, I'm not even fucking being like the Pomona Bullets that I usually am.
Like, I'm being very nice.
No, these dogs are, roar, roar, roar, roar, and I'm like, shut the fuck up.
(41:29):
Yeah.
Shut up.
And then she's like, I hear, oh, come on, let's go, bitch, please.
Like, this, these people, I'm telling you, this is going to be a neighborhood war.
Have you seen that show yet?
Gee, no, I haven't.
What channel is that on?
(41:50):
I got to see if it's on Hulu.
I guess it's called Neighborhood Wars.
Neighborhood Wars.
I'll look it up on Hulu and see if it's on Hulu.
I swear, I really want to just start documenting.
You should.
This is, this is insane because it's about to get real.
So that they just got the two dogs, like just recently, though, or?
(42:10):
And they had them.
And then I realized that now these dogs are grown, I guess.
I don't know.
I saw the neighbor walking her dog and I went to my mailbox because I was like,
I went to my mailbox because my mailbox is one of those.
(42:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Type for the whole fucking street.
Yeah.
Because nobody wants to come.
Yeah.
So I was walking just, just around the corner and checked my mail and I see her with these dogs.
And I asked her, I said, what happened to Evie, which was the fucking crazy ass people.
She was, she had to be euthanized.
(42:53):
I'm like, as it should have been.
Yeah, if it attacked somebody.
Yeah.
It was, it was crazy dog.
But the dog loved me.
So that's kind of weird.
So I, oh, yeah.
So it's like weird.
It just hated everybody else, but it loved me, but whatever.
But it still broke my fence and it's still, oh, damn, especially when Janey was around.
(43:16):
Oh, they, was it a girl dog or a boy dog?
Yeah, it was a girl.
Oh, okay.
Oh, and they just didn't get along.
And Jane would try to, you know, pop a squat and then this dog would just go crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was insane.
So now they, I said, what happened to you?
(43:37):
Who's euthanized?
It was euthanized.
I said, I'm so sorry to hear that.
I was trying to be nice, right?
You're like, by the way, take those skeletons down, bitch.
Yeah.
And you know what?
I like, fuck you guys.
Fuck you guys.
Like, I'm fucking ready.
I am so ready.
You're the most important, or I guess a bigger city.
(43:57):
Maybe you, Jean, they have an airport.
I, I can't see.
You know what?
As a matter of fact, last night it will, it was about 2am.
Oh, just here.
They're fucking just yelling.
Who, the neighbors?
Yeah.
Fucking nerdy G, the fucking skeleton neighbors.
Yeah.
So they're fighting or they're just yelling?
(44:19):
No, they, they fight and they yell.
But, but, oh my God.
Yeah, I actually just try to listen to like,
what are they actually fighting about?
Does somebody cheat on somebody?
Does somebody, I mean, you actually fucking woke my ass up.
We're doing the work.
Oh, damn.
Yeah.
No, they're fucking fighting.
I don't know what the fuck.
They're fighting.
(44:40):
They're just fighting because they don't even know why they're alive.
They're fucking miserable.
They're miserable.
They're miserable.
But so they, so back to the, the good, the good funny part, I guess.
I don't even know.
But I don't know.
(45:02):
He's making like, I just hear Tin like,
Tin, Tin, Tin, Tin, Tin, Tin, Tin.
To call the dogs, but.
But no, what the fuck is going on?
So I look out my window and I go, well, he's making some type of,
a, I don't know, some type of Tin shit.
I'll, I'll send you a picture after the episode.
But for the skeletons or no, I don't know what the hell they're doing in the backyard.
(45:27):
But it's insane.
But I keep telling them how much I love them.
And, you know, maybe, maybe it'll work.
Nah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
These people, sheeple.
(45:50):
I don't know.
I don't know.
Look, let's go do something good.
What were we doing?
Okay, something good.
Yeah, I don't know.
I had good stuff, but it just turned bad because.
Hey, no, why are you so angry today?
I'm not angry.
I'm not angry either.
I'm just like, awakened or just common sense.
(46:13):
Like if I, I don't know, just like with the, let's revisit all this and then we can.
Yeah, but I was okay because it's coming up on an hour.
Just like ladies, if you, if you go to, I guess, get your Vagwax, clean up before you
fucking go.
And by the way, if you're getting your Vagwax, maybe when you use public toilets,
(46:38):
please also check the public toilet seat to make sure you didn't leave hairs on the
fucking public toilet seat because that shit drives me fucking nuts.
Fucking nuts.
City of Long Beach.
I'm calling you out specifically.
Them fucking bitches over there are disgusting all day long.
(46:59):
Work there for six years.
That's all you need to know.
I can't, I can't even breathe.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just had to like, you were raging all day.
I'm like, I just need to let that.
I'm like, and I know you're a young little bitch, right?
(47:25):
Cause it's not gray.
You young girls, I love you.
By the way, just shave it all off.
Nobody likes to see hair down there.
Like that's so disgusting.
What's up?
Like, I mean, a landing strip wouldn't do that.
(47:46):
You know what?
Speaking of, let me ask you this, Pomona Balls.
I don't know if you've ever seen a, you've seen a Playboy magazine.
Yes.
Of course.
Okay.
So when was the first time you like thumb through a Playboy magazine?
I, oh shit.
Thank you for asking.
I was about maybe four years old and my dad had a fucking, okay.
(48:07):
Well, you win.
A brother.
Okay.
Well, I didn't know about Playboy until like my neighbor, I guess my, my friend growing up the
the street.
Does that make sense?
My, I guess my neighborhood friend that we would walk to school together.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
So I think I was in fifth or sixth.
It was like when I first started, I guess getting hair down there.
(48:27):
So she's like, you want to see something?
And I'm like, sure.
Her dad had a stack of Playboy magazines, right?
So I'm like, oh, and I'm like, these girls are, and I'm not attracted to girls like that.
But I thought it was fucking sexy that they were fucking laying out on the, you know, the,
the spreads.
And I'm just like, come on, a bullet.
Here's the thing.
I'm fucking analyzing this shit down to a T at, I guess in fifth or sixth grade.
(48:48):
And I'm just like, why don't they have fucking hair down there?
Because I have hair right now and I didn't have hair reformed.
She's like, girl, they fucking shave their shit.
And I'm like, what?
She's like, yeah.
And I'm like, so I can take a razor to down there.
And she's like, yes.
And I'm like, at fifth, I think by sixth grade, I've been shaving my snatch in sixth grade.
I'm just like, I fucking hate that shit.
(49:10):
The shit is so gross.
And I'm just like, I want to look like the girls in the fucking Playboy magazine.
Yeah.
Wait, have you ever nicked yourself?
Oh God, girl.
Yes.
And like, okay.
So let's, let's, let's talk about, I guess we're going to have to go longer.
I'm so, let's talk about like, so, so.
(49:30):
I've only ever had a stand up shower growing up, right?
So like imagine like trying to hike your leg up so you can fucking like, right?
So that's all I've ever did, right?
But like if you, like if you fucking shave your snatch for like some sixth grade,
you know how to fucking do that shit.
But yeah, but now and then you end up nicking and you're just like, God damn it.
(49:52):
I guess I'm not a one blade or a two blade.
You know what?
Okay.
So I, I don't know about you, but I have my Amazon subscription for like the disposable
razors for girls and they were out for the last two months.
So I went to the guys fucking razors girl guys, guys razors are so much fucking better.
They have five, they have five blades and I'm just like, this fucking cuts better than the,
(50:17):
the three, I guess the three blades or whatever you just said for the girls.
So I'm like, I am going to only buy guys razors from moving forward at 50 years old.
I just figured out the guys razors are 10 times better or a billion times better than girls
razors when it comes to shaving your snatch billion times, billion times, billion times.
(50:38):
I'm just like, fuck these little pink ass shit.
I'm going to blue.
Why was I always?
No, no, these little, the girl razors that I buy now, those little bit.
Yeah.
And like the ones that are really wide, do you know what I'm talking about?
Like the really big.
Yep.
And I'm like, well, clearly that's just to shave your legs and your armpits.
(50:58):
Like you girls don't clearly shave your fucking snatch because you can't shave your
snatch with that fucking thing.
Like it's too wide or longer.
You know what I'm talking about.
Exactly.
We just use that.
You just use that little that like that basic one.
Right.
Yes.
Yes.
But it has five blades and I'm just like, oh my God, for the last four weeks, I'm like,
(51:20):
this is fucking heaven.
This is fucking amazing.
Yeah.
You just got to do like three or four swipes and get on.
Yeah.
You're just like in and out, out, out.
From the asshole and then you're just like, boom, like done, done.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But I think we're old school.
And like that's the whole thing.
(51:40):
I think we are old school because like the people, well, I shouldn't say the people I know,
but like when I asked, when I, the city of Long Beach, when I work for the city of Long
Beach during lockdown, like everybody was working from home.
I went in twice a week because I just couldn't fucking stand being at home.
And I'm like, come on, a bullets.
There was not even a full, like everybody was, because I know you were in the mortgage industry.
(52:05):
So it's different because you were, I guess, independent.
But for the city of Long Beach, like there was only five females on the floor that I worked on.
That's including me for the day I'm talking about in question.
Okay.
Forced bathroom stalls.
Why?
Why?
(52:26):
When I walked into the first bathroom stall, there's a fucking hair on the goddamn fucking toilet
or the toilet seat.
I'm like, ill.
I walked out.
I go into the second stall.
Same fucking thing.
And I'm just like, there's poor bitches here besides me.
And there's fucking badge hairs or pubic hairs on these goddamn seats.
(52:46):
Fucking bitches are just fucking gross.
And there's only one there.
So out of there's five there, including me.
So one of the girls I talked to and I'm like, hey, do you shave your snatched?
And she's like, girl, I keep it clean all day long.
I'm like, thank you very much.
I'm like, don't go into stall one or two because there's fucking pubes on there.
She's like, I think I'm going to throw up.
(53:06):
I'm like, well, go throw up and fucking stall number three.
You should be like, bitch, do you, do you fucking pressure wash after like fucking come on now?
I like that because they would, but my thing is that they would never do that at their house.
So the fact that they fucking just get up and they fucking walk out and they, oh,
(53:29):
I'm like, you know what?
I was to the point where I was just like, I think I might do a DNA like,
like submit a fucking sample of your fucking kids because I'm going to figure out who the fuck you guys are.
I don't know.
I just don't get the girls with their, I don't know, you know what?
(53:51):
They're dirty.
They're dirty.
They were going to flush through tampons and clock the toilets and they're fucking nuts.
They don't even like, I don't know.
It's like, do you do this at home or are you just like exactly?
You just fucking say, hey, I don't have to clean it.
So you're just a fucking douchebag.
Like fuck, fucking weird.
(54:12):
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh, my stomach hurts again.
I'm sorry.
What do you want to recap with?
I just want to recap that, hey, everybody, be, if you have a neighbor that you don't like or just,
just, you know what?
It's just going to boil down to everybody.
(54:34):
Just let's, let's just focus on respect.
Let's respect each other.
Let's just, like, whether it's the toilet or the neighbor, let's just, or your dog or your dog.
Yeah.
Let's just respect and let's just be good human beings.
I like that.
(54:57):
I'm going to have to be a better human being too, but by that, I, by that, I don't mean I
leave fucking hairs on the toilet seat or I don't brush my teeth.
And I'm not going to fucking leave piss fucking drips on the toilet either.
Like, no, no, no.
God.
Lord.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But let's just be respectful to each other, respectful to ourselves.
(55:20):
Self love.
Yeah.
Let's try to bring that back.
Yes.
And it's okay to sit down and do nothing.
Don't feel guilty.
Yeah.
You get fucking texts on your phone all day long while you take a shit.
It's all good.
Like.
But don't talk on the phone while you're pooping.
Yeah.
And please, please don't.
It's called boundaries.
Yeah.
There's boundaries, man.
It's called, it's called respect.
(55:43):
Yes.
Self respect.
Self respect.
Okay.
On that note, we are out.
We are out.
Peace out.
Have a great week.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
Okay, I understood the strategy about hot spots, but the little fucking rock that people would throw and shit like I didn't know what that fucking meant.
(00:07):
So maybe if the
Maybe if the fucking rock was um alcohol, maybe both of us would understand the entire fucking game all together. Welcome to our podcast.
Good afternoon, bestie. Good afternoon, my bestie bestie of all besties.
(00:28):
That's a triple B right there.
I know.
Boom.
Okay, so for the listeners, I already told Pomona Bullets that I woke up. I woke up, I guess, sick. I have a cold. Why does regular water taste like sewage when you're sick?
You know what? I think it's because it is sewage. But, but you know, it's better than drinking out of the plastic bottles where you get that what is that shit called?
(00:55):
What they say.
Yeah, that BPH.
Yeah, that.
Yeah, who fucking knows. We just we all just need some of those little systems that just what I don't know.
Clear it out or whatever. I don't know. It's fucking all water just tastes disgusting when you're sick. So there's that it does. But you know what? It doesn't taste as good as the hose water.
(01:16):
There you go. There you go. Remember, we you remember.
That's the original Corona virus vaccine right there. People drink that you'll be good. Yeah, you just be playing high and seek doing a block like party type shit like.
(01:37):
And then you just go to somebody's house and just grab their hose. I'm thirsty. Right. Because I can't go three more steps inside to get a glass of water. Yeah, I don't want the sewage water from my sink. I'll just take it from your hose. There you go.
Yeah, no, it does suck being sick sucks.
Well, your senses when you lose the.
(02:07):
Yeah, it's my left like I think it was yesterday where I'm like, oh, I'm better. I should take a bed and drill before I go to bed because I thought it was just my allergies. I didn't do it. And then by 10 o'clock this morning, I'm like, oh, I'm actually sick.
Whatevs. Yeah, I'll take a bed and drill tonight though. Cause I don't have any night. Well, it's the same fucking shit.
Well, I'm kind of keeps you up. Doesn't it. No, it makes you sleepy. Oh, oh, shit. Yeah, I already be me up. Scotty. I'll fucking.
(02:35):
There you go. Fucking already. Nettie potted to so that I guess is helping. I guess. I don't know. I put a little humidifier in my son. Oh, you know what? I well, that's not going to help. I sleep with my windows wide open. See, that's bad.
I don't know. Yeah, it would be better if I didn't. But it's fucking, you know, I need the fresh air. Yeah, I know me too. If I could just have if there wasn't spiders and snakes and nutria.
(03:05):
I would just put a slight thought. You would just move back to the city.
It's just so insane. I woke up this morning and like legit, I know this is going to sound gross, but I was just I couldn't. So I think obviously I don't think we had any listeners comment on our squeaky eye.
(03:31):
Oh, I haven't had that lately, but I'm sure I'm going to have that now that I'm sick.
I got that squeaky eye, man. Just like, I can hear it. I think other people, if somebody was sitting next to me, I think they could hear it. I don't know. I don't know. Oh my God.
(03:53):
I don't know. I'm just like, oh, shit. I'm out of bullets. Got the squeaky eye.
So it was just Saturday off, right? And you had Thursday off. Oh, I did have Thursday off, but I was told to come and to work.
Oh, why did you get it's not fucking Labor Day. Like what's going on?
(04:16):
I fucking I don't you know what? And I was like, yeah, sure. I'm totally gonna. Yeah, I can totally come in. You know what I did? Fuck that ain't coming in. Yeah, I was like, no, no, I'm so fucking sick and tired of working six days a week.
Nope.
Well, you just relaxed on your days off.
(04:37):
Well, I guess you could say that.
Well, besides chores, I guess. I'm sure your chores and whatever.
Yeah, no, I was just dealing with a bunch of just, you know, life shit.
She got it. Yeah. I'm so ready. I'm so ready for Nate Diaz to knock the fuck out of this. Like, I'm just going to put all my is that next. That's next week.
(05:03):
Yes.
Oh, no, it's June 15 June 1 or June 1. Okay, so it's not next week. Next week is on page van Zad debuts as bare knuckle boxing. It's May 25. I love BKFC.
She's debuting. What? Yes. She that's her new gig. So she's doing that May 25.
(05:26):
Whoa. Okay. Well, on my calendar as of now.
Um, yeah, let me know how it goes. I don't know where you can do. I guess if you have the channel, I don't know what channel girl. No, I have a BKFC little thing and it's like annual and I don't know.
But for some reason, it's always grainy when but what do you expect for $40 a year? Like, I don't know.
(05:53):
Oh, well, you know what, take what you can get girl. I'm like, you know what, just say I'll just let it buffer for fucking 30 minutes and then I'll put away.
There you go.
Yeah.
Yes, ma'am. Geez. Yeah, I've been punching people in the throat all day today. So I just want to let you know, just be well.
(06:15):
You left your house today? No.
Verbally.
Verbally. And just mentally as I just, you know, do my yoga and I'm just like not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Namaste. Yeah. Namaste.
(06:36):
Not, not a stay.
Yeah. No, but I'm pretty good. Pretty good.
Okay.
Well, I told you I had a story. I guess we can get into my story and then I have another thing. But so I went and got my brows done on Thursday. I've been seeing the same girl for like, since 2010.
And I don't know how we got into this conversation. I go to Nordstroms to get my brows done because they have the Anastasia brows studio there. That's where I go.
(07:03):
Okay, wait, wait, wait, I have to interject. Is it just like waxing or waxing and reshape. Yeah.
Go. So I go to her and I don't know how we got on the subject of her like her first like, so an esthetic, you know what an esthetician is right?
Yeah, an esthetician they wax, they do the facials all that. That's what she is obviously.
(07:28):
So I don't even know how we got into her first gig before she was working at Nordstrom because she's been at Nordstroms for like 15 years or whatever.
She was telling me, I think it was European, it's called European wax center or something like that. She's like, that's where I was. I want to say that's where she was working at.
I don't know one of those but she's like, Medusa, that was my first gig. And as soon as they had me and she's like, you know, you have to get your, at those places you get your badge waxed.
(07:57):
And I'm like, oh, I used to get my badge wax and I'm just like, I'm like, that would never be me. I'm just like, you know what, that just cool but I just don't want to see it every day and have it in my face so I can wax it.
And she's like, let me tell you this. And I'm like, oh boy. So apparently I guess, have you ever got your badge wax?
(08:18):
Of course. I mean, I had to put my fucking ankle above my fucking shoulder and just add these little, yeah, yeah, I'm like, okay.
So when you went to get your badge wax, did you like clean up beforehand? Like you wouldn't just go over there like, I don't know, not shower?
Well, like, like you need a weed wacker? No. But no, but you would be clean, I guess is my thing, right?
(08:43):
Oh yeah, yeah, there's no dingleberries and shit like that.
Yeah, or like, you would, yes, she was telling me she's like that. She's like, that's when I had to start looking for a new job because girls would come in and not be showered and they'd just be gross and stinky down there.
I'm just like, oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh, I'm like, well, yeah, she's like, and then she's like, ever since I've been working in North Trump, she's like, I will never wax a badge again.
(09:08):
Girl, I don't fucking blame you. Just the way she was explaining it, I was just like, oh my God, I'm like, oh no, I'd have been like that. She got to get up and shower and then come back.
Like, I am not touching that. I'm sorry, you want me to do what?
Girl.
Yeah.
No. And you got a man like, no, like you shower for your man, you shower for me before I strip this shit.
(09:31):
Like, I want to see what man you with that even fucking things, but just turning off the lights is going to make it better. Like, no, oh, I mortified. I wanted to throw up when she was telling me this and I'm just like, I would, I'm like, it feels like the nicest person.
So she probably never said anything to the clients. I'd have been like, oh no, I'm like, I'm clogging out permanently.
(09:54):
Isn't it so nice when you have people that just fucking just throw it out on the table. They just see you, your light comes into the room and you can be a bitch, but your light just shines, right.
And they just, they just, because that one is called your light.
Yes, it's your soul, your soul shines. It's your like a little fucking lighthouse and these motherfuckers just think like, hi, I know you're a bitch, but here's my whole grandma has cancer.
(10:22):
I hate waxing pussy.
They just, they just give you the, they just laid out on the table. You're like, wow, wow. But that's interesting because I, when I was in the dental field.
Oh, I can't. Oh, I can't even, I would never be able to work in the dental field just because.
(10:43):
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Couldn't I just wow.
I used to put the little, the little mask that stupid little, well the COVID mask, everybody knows, but the dentist, the doctor, that little mask.
I used to pop so many bonacca and gum and I would just chew, chew, chew and just try to smell my own breath because.
(11:05):
Oh, no.
Yes, because it is real man.
People, you would think, you would think, you would think they would brush your teeth just to come to the dentist to clean.
Oh, no. Oh, I'm so grossed out right now.
Come on, I'm like, Medusa.
Medusa.
I legit, I, yeah, I was like, this job is not for, for you, me.
(11:35):
No, no, and it was during the era where everybody was doing the tongue ring and trying to put their, the little bar, do it themselves.
And I just infected motherfuckers with the big ass.
There was one gal that she had.
Oh, get ready.
(11:57):
Are you buckled up? Are you buckled up?
I'm sitting down.
This gal will an elder.
I mean, I was like, I don't know, maybe.
I don't know, 24, 25, it was before G unit.
So, um, yeah, they, she had a piece of like, it looked like cauliflower, like the little, the little like broccoli, the little, the heads or whatever.
(12:24):
Yeah, yep, right above.
It was on the top and we duck.
It wasn't a cauliflower girl.
It was a growth.
It was a growth.
I know, I know, I know, we are not because she had a piercing or just because just because I mean this.
(12:48):
But it was like a little piece of cauliflower, I guess you could say, but I was dying size.
It was that a little piece of cauliflower that usually just leave on the plate.
You don't need it.
God, that is so it was so and we had to.
We used a good, well, not me, because I was just, I was in training, I was an apprentice.
(13:13):
So I'm just there holding the cup.
I'm just there with the whatever, but son of a monkey, they, the dentist used a torch.
For what?
For the cauliflower.
Yeah, to get it off.
They use a little lamp, like they use a little.
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
(13:34):
And then they just went like torch.
You know, it's, oh my God, I would have thrown up in my COVID mask.
Girl, I, I freaking fell over in my chair.
I was just like, I can't.
The mouth is so disgusting.
So I cannot even fathom how gross like you have to be a, like a special individual.
(14:00):
I'll just say special.
I was going to say sick, but a special individual to help the people, whether it's the.
Who, huh?
Or the mouth, like just because it's, they're both disgusting.
People are disgusting.
It depends on how their hygiene is.
God.
Yeah.
(14:21):
Well, this went south real fucking quick.
Yeah.
I'm just telling you girl, like shit.
I can't, I can't even imagine.
I can't even imagine.
I can't even imagine.
I can't even imagine.
You know what, I used to get so embarrassed when my esthetician or.
Is that he's an SSS.
Yeah, I can't say it, but.
No worries.
(14:42):
Yeah.
When they would say just grow it a little bit so that way it could pick up like the wax.
Oh yeah.
Clean.
So it's like you can't just like buzz it off or whatever or try to be clean.
It off and stuff.
And that's why I stopped going because I guess my brow girl, she's like, yeah.
(15:05):
And then she was telling me how like girls would, I guess just shave.
And then they would end up with ingrown hairs.
And I'm like, huh, that's weird because I got the opposite when I would get waxed.
That's when I got my ingrown hairs.
Like I have no problem shaving down there.
I think we've had this conversation.
I do it twice fucking week.
And I've never had an ingrown hair knock on wood from shaving from fucking waxing
(15:28):
all the fucking time.
Really?
Yeah.
So I was just like, and plus it was painful.
I'm like, oh no, I'm just going to go back to big in it.
Where's that big at?
You know what?
I just use a one clip.
I use a one clip.
I love you.
Pomona bullets.
Fuck.
(15:49):
I'm too old.
Too old for this shit.
Yeah, that's that's.
Ew.
So that's even you were for the fucking mouth.
I know.
Oh, I'm mortified.
I fainted.
I fainted.
I fainted one time.
All I had to do.
(16:10):
Just once.
I was fainted every fucking time.
You know what?
When I felt my ears, the top of my ear lobes or my ear.
Oh, my God.
I was like, oh, it's time to bat.
Yeah.
I have to go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my
face or something because.
Oh, my God.
There was the very, very, very first time.
(16:32):
And this is like old school.
You remember the assistant had that little chair that had that
little.
Yes.
Yep.
Okay.
They don't.
Yeah, they don't have that anymore.
No, they don't do it.
I know what the fuck happened to that fucking.
I don't know, but it used to be there.
We used to have those.
Yeah.
I remember.
(16:53):
The doctor telling me I was an IDP department.
It is international dental program department and Loma Linda.
Demo university.
And the doctor told me all you have to do.
The monobullets is hold this cup.
And.
Just hold this cup.
(17:13):
The water that they needed.
No, it was, it was because this, this lady wanted full mouth
dentures and she only had 14 teeth left.
So we had to take them out.
Oh, no.
So all I had to do.
Yeah.
Well, nitrous.
And I was learning the whole nitrous and she kept saying I had a
(17:36):
beautiful smile.
I'm like, I don't know how the fuck you.
Think I have a beautiful smile and have a mask on, but okay.
I think maybe my eyes smile.
Yeah.
Okay.
Whatever.
Rest.
He's.
I smile because I have all my teeth intact.
Yeah.
I'm just like, dude, her teeth or so.
(17:57):
Just yikes.
But she only had 14.
And all I had to do was hold the cup.
And the.
He was pulling them out.
Yeah.
And, and, and my other job was to get the HB E.
So the HB E is that, that little, it sucks up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That big white little.
The assistant puts in, but this wasn't that it was a little
(18:21):
metal one that it has to go into when the doctor removed the
tooth.
It goes.
Oh my God.
Into the hole.
Yeah.
I thought I could do it.
Mind you, I was hungover.
I was like, yeah, I was just like, Oh no.
(18:43):
And I was like, I could do this.
So I'm holding the cup.
I think the doctor dropped.
And I wouldn't even look.
I would look.
Put the HB E in there.
I thought I could do it.
I thought I could do it.
Put the HB E in there.
Socket.
Oh yeah.
The socket.
That's what it's called.
And then I, and I just after like the fourth tooth.
(19:08):
Got 10 more girls.
Fuck and microphone drop.
I'm out.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck all this shit.
I don't ever want to be a dentist.
I'm out by.
I'm done dude.
I can't do this.
I can't.
It was.
I think I fainted.
(19:29):
I fainted because it was just like.
And the smell, it was the smell.
It wasn't even the.
Think about that.
It wasn't the blood and the broken teeth or I guess.
The rotten.
Yeah.
Oh, don't.
You think she's crushing those 14 teeth every day.
(19:50):
You think she's playing list during her mouth?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not.
Okay.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
I'm out by.
Now.
Now.
Fuck.
Shit.
She's going to put a little peroxide up in that grill.
Like, fuck.
Fucking be like a mad dog.
Just fucking.
Oh, rabies.
(20:11):
Yeah.
Just fucking let that peroxide just fucking eat all the.
Ew.
Yuck.
Like, I don't know.
Like, did you smoke your teeth?
Like, I don't know what the fuck happened.
I don't know.
Yeah.
You know what?
I, I like to.
I like to.
Uh, uh, judge a book by its cover all day long.
I, I do like that.
I do.
(20:32):
I love it.
Because I, I mean, we're old.
Been there,
done that.
Fuck, and don't tell me.
Like,
The proof is in the socket.
Yeah.
This is in the socket.
Yeah.
The proof is in the socket, but those green don't tell me you ate lemon that much.
(20:56):
And I don't know why they always used to say that it was acid from a lemon or lime.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
I have never heard that in my life.
Well, you haven't been in the dental field.
Like they can say that.
And I'm like, nah, bitch, that's that's fucking cigarettes.
That's fucking nicotine.
That's fucking mess.
(21:16):
Oh, that is fucking that's that's fucking that's just that's just neglect.
Like you never you you you fucking used to wake up.
You probably didn't even wash your face, let alone brush your fucking teeth.
That's why you don't have any.
She probably had a spot free face, though, unlike me, who still breaks out.
Oh, but not.
(21:37):
How do I but I'm just like, I just blame it on stress.
But there you go.
Yeah.
So I so just a side of the teeth in the mouth area.
I I would not even want to go below the belt.
Please no.
Nope.
There's some dirty ass dirty ass bees out there.
(22:00):
Huh.
I don't even know.
It's not even mortified.
That's not the right adjective.
Right.
And it's I'm speechless.
Hey, maybe just made.
I don't know what the proper Karen word is that I need to use for this.
For what you just told me.
I'm what you call our listeners.
You know what listeners?
(22:22):
It's called hygiene.
Fuck it.
It's called self respect.
It's called you only got one life.
One vehicle.
Just oh my God.
OK, well, let's change topics.
OK.
What's on you?
I'm going to have way too many questions.
(22:44):
I know you have nightmares.
If we keep you have nightmares, let's just let's go because I don't even want
to think about the who ha's now.
Yeah.
Sorry, I had that.
I told you I had a funny on gross story that was the who hot thing.
And oh my God.
OK, well, clearly, you know what?
I don't even want to go into that realm of who is like, you if the mouth alone.
(23:10):
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't even know.
I don't know.
But let's.
Yeah, let's do you have to work next Monday?
It's Memorial Day.
How about we change topics real quick?
So glad that you brought that up.
I'm sure you are because I'm sure it's like barbecue season or I guess summer
(23:31):
season and crazy season.
And I have to make fucking balloon arches and shit.
How about cool fuck off and how about don't tell me happy Memorial Day?
I mean, how is that happy?
Just a to all the listeners.
Don't ever tell anybody whether they're a veteran or whether it's just anybody.
(23:56):
It is not a happy fucking Memorial Day.
It's not.
You know what memorial.
The remembrance exactly.
Remember.
Yeah.
Remember, you know what?
You we should all have a paid day off.
So just a moment in silence, right?
No, no, we're going to fucking blow up balloons and shit.
(24:17):
And second, second, have all the inventory on sale and I now off.
It'll day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's do this.
Is it Dia de los Muertos or like fucking we're not celebrating death.
Like, no, we're not.
Right.
Like Americans don't do that shit.
(24:38):
Memorial Day.
It's to remember the ones that have fallen for the furries and for.
Oh my God.
Everybody else in this fucking world.
Fucking they did that.
They girl, they lost their lives for this country and you know what?
(25:01):
Yeah.
You know what?
They're rolling in their fucking grave right now and we're going to blow up
balloons and have a fucking sale.
Fuck.
I hear this podcast.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to the listeners.
I'm so sorry.
I I try to warn you guys.
I was not.
I'm not having it today.
(25:22):
I'm throat touching all day today.
I don't know.
OK, so I have a question that let's segue into something positive.
It's going to turn negative for a little bit.
I'm sure because I have words on this as well.
But let me ask you this because I read this slide or this post on Instagram
and I got me thinking I'm like shit.
Hmm.
OK, so let me ask you this.
(25:43):
OK, let me actually read.
Oh, how do I want to pose this to you?
OK, let me ask you this and then I'll read what the Instagram says.
OK, so I'm going to ask you if you're sitting around when you were growing up.
OK, so you got your mom and dad at home.
You got all your sisters.
If you're sitting around doing nothing, come on, a bullets.
How do you feel or like did your parents like ever like what do they say?
(26:06):
If you're sitting around doing nothing.
Go outside.
OK, or like they just didn't like you sitting around doing nothing.
Right.
Yeah, OK, same with me.
Like you always have to be productive.
You got to be doing something like pick up a room or something.
Yeah, thank you.
So I read this post on Instagram and I got me thinking I'm like, man.
(26:29):
OK, so the post said women who feel uncomfortable resting were once little
girls who were taught productivity and achievement were directly tied to their worthiness.
And I'm like, yeah.
Interesting.
Continue.
Very.
No, that was the post.
(26:49):
And I got me thinking I'm like, I know my parents were boomers and they were
both from different countries and they were taught to not fucking like, I
guess, not do anything.
But I'm like, huh, they always had me fucking getting up and doing shit.
And I'm just like, you know what?
This is probably the most important thing.
This is probably this post is like Instagram posts is like at least for me legit.
(27:16):
I don't know.
I can't speak for you.
But I was like, you can't like really be sitting around doing nothing.
Yeah, no, you shouldn't.
Because then if you're if you're not growing, you're dying.
So well, yeah, but you need to enjoy your quiet, your downtime, too.
I'm not saying that.
1000 percent.
But guess what?
Children don't get to enjoy downtime.
(27:39):
You're not even fish growing.
You're not even grown.
Like stop.
Yeah, but you need to have quiet.
So you agree with the, I guess your parents did.
I guess the way you were raised.
You know what?
Well, I don't think I have much weight on this because I they didn't give two
shits about me.
(28:00):
My dad would say, bring me a beer.
And I'm like, OK, I'm coloring in my bedroom and I'm on the floor.
I didn't even have any padding under my carpet on my floor.
It was like cement and just like some random fucking carpet.
It was gross.
That's like an elementary school where you're in that thin ass carpet.
(28:20):
And ass in red burgundy.
Burnt orange.
Exactly. Yeah. OK.
Yeah. Oh, OK.
Well, yeah, we had different upbringings.
So I guess, yeah, that makes sense.
Then I like, yeah, I just but yeah, just but there was times when I was growing up
and I can legit this you can take this to the bank and fucking this check will cash.
(28:48):
I hated the fact that I was trying to color and I was doing so many things
and I was always trying to artist.
Yeah, I was. Yeah, and I always was.
And, you know, sometimes I wanted my my me time, like because I was focused.
I was right. My coloring book at that moment.
(29:10):
And for my parents to just be.
The crazy parents that they were.
Yeah, I used to get mad.
I would get very mad and I would talk back and I would say shut up.
Oh, because they were fighting.
No, because they would say do something and I'm like, oh, OK, God,
(29:30):
why don't you do something?
You know what? And you were actually doing something you liked
and you weren't causing fucking harm or you weren't starting a fucking,
I guess, I don't know, you weren't causing chaos, right?
Yeah, you don't got to worry about me.
You know, I'm in my room.
You know, I'm coloring. That's right. That's it.
I'm not I'm not even. Yeah.
But it was always like, yeah, do something.
(29:51):
Well, yeah, you know what? Bring you a beer.
You want me to know, like, you know what?
They were mad that you were enjoying yourself and I guess your peace.
Yeah, you've always been a peaceful person then, huh?
I tried to be.
And then that's what the dragon woke up.
And so what? I'm sorry.
So the dragon woke up the sleeping dragon with him.
(30:13):
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
But no, I was very peaceful, very peaceful.
I was I was like the weird, weird, weird kid that just didn't talk.
I always listened.
I was very plain plain Jane.
I people used to just put me down all the time, like, oh,
(30:34):
she needs to eat some more or she needs to.
I was the same way because my parents were just like,
just ignore like the bullies because me and I don't know if my brother got bullied.
I got bullied and fucking elementary.
I think all well, I shouldn't say all kids got bullied.
Either you got bullied or you're the bully.
So I got bullied. So did I.
And now I should look everybody up because it's hilarious.
(30:54):
My daughter got bullied growing up and I'm like, I'm like, why are you?
She wouldn't stand up.
Oh, I shouldn't talk about. I won't talk about it here.
Yeah, we will. We will.
No, we'll talk about that.
All the bullies, at least in my daughter's life,
were fucking fat and nasty now.
Yeah, so I'm right.
It's called karma.
It is. It is called karma.
(31:14):
And and I am so thankful because, OK,
I'm just going to throw it out there.
I was premature when I was born and I wasn't supposed to make it.
But I made it. Of course. Oh, boy.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You're welcome, you're welcome, world.
(31:35):
I'm going to eat it.
Yeah, I fucking made it.
And I had a little bit of issues
in my younger days, especially like, let's just say kindergarten.
So I had these random little muscle.
(31:56):
I don't know.
Like, yeah, I just looked like I was just eating my fucking
trying to eat my fucking left ear lobe or some shit at some times.
Like, because your left ear wasn't right or what do you what do you mean?
Well, it was just like spasms.
It was just things that I couldn't control.
So it but it looked like I was like my head was always like
(32:21):
it would just twitch to my left.
OK, got it. Yeah.
And it sucked.
Fucking man, shit.
So what was wrong then?
And well, I was premature and I was a drug baby.
So anyways.
OK, so I had to deal with that for a minute.
(32:43):
And it sucked.
And I got bullied quite a bit.
I was very introvert.
Yeah. But I was like, but I was like super, like super smart.
Like, I knew, I don't know.
But people just, man, they're mean.
They're mean. But if only you took up MMA at the age of five instead of
(33:03):
all I was like, that's what I'm telling you. I was like, yeah,
I was just so sweet.
I was so sweet and so calm and just kind of like, hmm, I was so dull.
So just, I don't know.
I just sat there and I just listened and I just whatever it was.
(33:24):
I just did good in school.
They wanted to advance me two grades
because they were like Pomona Bullets read all the C Dick
run and Jane fucking play and all this bullshit.
I I read those books.
I'm like, can we get a encyclopedia?
(33:44):
Pretend it in here.
Can I learn about the roar Borealis?
Yeah, it was weird.
I was so weird.
I, yeah, I used to just don't talk to me.
I didn't care. I was I was a weird ass kid.
I was speaking.
I was crazy now that if you think about it because, well, you have kids,
(34:07):
but they're grown like me.
But like, if you just think about it, like how you got bullied and how I got
bullied and then you just think about it, just like school.
The only thing that school is good for is to conform.
And then if you don't fit into the standards of what the teacher is fucking
saying or what the kids are fucking saying, then you're fucking ostracized.
(34:28):
So like there's not even a learning experience.
All you're learning in fucking elementary and I guess maybe junior high
and probably high school is human behavior and how to fucking fit in that box
until you you are finally fucking free.
Right. But.
In today's age, they learned that from their computer and their little
(34:51):
TikTok and Facebook and Instagram and shit.
And, oh, I'm getting bullied online.
Bullied online.
That's funny.
That's not right to shut it off.
Fucking funny.
Shut your fucking computer down.
You won't get bullied.
How about waking up and going to school every day and you will eat that.
(35:14):
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
That's pretty like, you know, I don't know.
Oh my God, this episode is so.
I know we need to be into a brighter level.
Okay, so speaking of, okay, go ahead.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm just like brighter, brighter notes.
Let's go.
Um, brighter note.
(35:34):
I got my mushroom tincture last night and I was going to do it today,
but I'm fucking sick and I didn't want to have the sick mess up with the
mushroom, taking a mushroom for the first time.
Or I guess it's not psychoactive fully, but I will want to be totally healthy
when I do take it.
So next weekend or maybe by Thursday, I can take it.
(35:54):
I would, I would highly recommend that you can at least breathe through your
nostrils.
Yeah, my nostrils are like not really working for me right now.
So that's all I was just like, I better wait.
I don't want to do it when I'm sick because I might not have the same.
Obviously, it won't have the same effect.
Well, how much research have you done?
(36:15):
I just, this one is not fully psychoactive and I wish it was, but I just
want to start small to see what happens and we can go from there.
So I just would like enlightenment and like I've read the good things about
what it does and that's the reason why it's fucking banned is because if
everybody was on mushrooms, they wouldn't give a fuck and they would
actually do what they want to do with their lives and not have anybody
(36:37):
hold them back because.
Yeah.
And guess what?
We were going to have to vote.
You know, take over.
Um, when it comes to when it comes to voting people, I don't know if I should
talk about this here.
We shouldn't.
We shouldn't.
We should shut that down.
I'm going to say is if voting actually mattered, it wouldn't, there wouldn't be
such a thing.
So put that in your fucking head.
(36:59):
Yeah.
Everybody just digest that for a minute.
It's just a split size with everybody.
It's like whatever.
Okay.
What can we talk about that's happy?
Oh, okay.
Did you lay out the way?
Did you clear?
Did you clean out your, um, your hot tub?
(37:20):
Girl.
Medusa.
Yes.
I guess.
Oh, you did.
Okay.
I'm like, I guess that's no.
I did.
But you know what?
This is going to be happy.
This makes me happy.
It might not make the listeners happy, but I want to rant about nerdy G.
This motherfucker, my neighbor, the skeleton guy.
(37:43):
Oh, fuck.
Did he like put a new, I guess, costume on the skeleton?
Um, you know, or what's going on?
All that.
That's all fucking insane.
But I, so I'm doing the hot tub.
I drained it.
I scrubbed it.
(38:05):
It's immaculate.
It is ready.
It's ready for anybody can go in there.
Not anybody because I don't let anybody go in there.
But this motherfucker, I just hear ting, ting, ting, ting, ting.
And he had that crazy ass dog.
Remember I was saying in the previous episodes and told you?
(38:27):
Yeah.
Okay.
That dog got euthanized.
Of course it should be.
Okay.
Boy, it bit somebody.
I don't remember.
Yeah.
It bit that lady in the face.
You don't, I don't remember this.
Yeah.
That the dog, the dog was crazy shit.
Yeah.
It was like he had this pickle.
Wait, he get charged or he didn't get like taken to court?
(38:51):
No, girl, please.
Over here.
Oh, no.
His dog bit me in the face.
Trust me.
I'd have been retired because I would have taken him to court and I would have
cleaned out his bank account.
You know what?
It was, I was just trying to stay in my lane.
I just moved here and they had some, I'll just say they had some political signs and
(39:17):
I guess this person came to pick up the political signs because the voting was over.
Yeah.
And yeah, this dog just wow.
I'm just wow.
Just, just yeah.
I just stayed in my lane.
I was like, I don't know.
That was a big nutria.
Yeah.
I was like that, that, that looked like it hurt.
(39:38):
But I don't know.
I'm not going to call 911 because I used to be a 911 dispatcher.
So no, no.
Mrs. Jones can't breathe again.
Like, no, I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyhow.
No.
Okay.
Sorry.
No, I know.
That's another thing.
(40:00):
Just yeah, but I'm not going to go there.
So we're doing lighter things.
So I'm just putting all, I feel like a mad scientist, like an alchemist.
Like, okay.
I'm just like, oh, I need bromine.
I need pH, Decreaser, this, I need that.
I, all these fucking, god dang things that I have to do that I have to YouTube.
(40:22):
Like, what do I do now?
What do I, so I'm doing everything for my hot tub to make it just good.
Right.
And they have two dogs now.
Wow.
Okay.
That is huge.
They got two more.
I don't know if they're pit bulls.
I don't know, but they're very unorderly dogs, I would say.
(40:45):
Okay.
These little motherfuckers keep barking.
Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar, roar,
roar.
And I'm just in my hot tub, just putting a little dipstick, just trying to check the pH
balance and shit.
Not even, I'm not even, I'm not even fucking smoking.
Weed like I used to.
I'm not even fucking bumping my music like I normally do.
(41:07):
Wait, they're barking at you?
Yeah.
Oh, god damn it.
And I'm just going out there just to check my levels in my hot tub.
Right.
I'm not even, girl, I'm not even fucking being like the Pomona Bullets that I usually am.
Like, I'm being very nice.
No, these dogs are, roar, roar, roar, roar, and I'm like, shut the fuck up.
(41:29):
Yeah.
Shut up.
And then she's like, I hear, oh, come on, let's go, bitch, please.
Like, this, these people, I'm telling you, this is going to be a neighborhood war.
Have you seen that show yet?
Gee, no, I haven't.
What channel is that on?
(41:50):
I got to see if it's on Hulu.
I guess it's called Neighborhood Wars.
Neighborhood Wars.
I'll look it up on Hulu and see if it's on Hulu.
I swear, I really want to just start documenting.
You should.
This is, this is insane because it's about to get real.
So that they just got the two dogs, like just recently, though, or?
(42:10):
And they had them.
And then I realized that now these dogs are grown, I guess.
I don't know.
I saw the neighbor walking her dog and I went to my mailbox because I was like,
I went to my mailbox because my mailbox is one of those.
(42:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Type for the whole fucking street.
Yeah.
Because nobody wants to come.
Yeah.
So I was walking just, just around the corner and checked my mail and I see her with these dogs.
And I asked her, I said, what happened to Evie, which was the fucking crazy ass people.
She was, she had to be euthanized.
(42:53):
I'm like, as it should have been.
Yeah, if it attacked somebody.
Yeah.
It was, it was crazy dog.
But the dog loved me.
So that's kind of weird.
So I, oh, yeah.
So it's like weird.
It just hated everybody else, but it loved me, but whatever.
But it still broke my fence and it's still, oh, damn, especially when Janey was around.
(43:16):
Oh, they, was it a girl dog or a boy dog?
Yeah, it was a girl.
Oh, okay.
Oh, and they just didn't get along.
And Jane would try to, you know, pop a squat and then this dog would just go crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was insane.
So now they, I said, what happened to you?
(43:37):
Who's euthanized?
It was euthanized.
I said, I'm so sorry to hear that.
I was trying to be nice, right?
You're like, by the way, take those skeletons down, bitch.
Yeah.
And you know what?
I like, fuck you guys.
Fuck you guys.
Like, I'm fucking ready.
I am so ready.
You're the most important, or I guess a bigger city.
(43:57):
Maybe you, Jean, they have an airport.
I, I can't see.
You know what?
As a matter of fact, last night it will, it was about 2am.
Oh, just here.
They're fucking just yelling.
Who, the neighbors?
Yeah.
Fucking nerdy G, the fucking skeleton neighbors.
Yeah.
So they're fighting or they're just yelling?
(44:19):
No, they, they fight and they yell.
But, but, oh my God.
Yeah, I actually just try to listen to like,
what are they actually fighting about?
Does somebody cheat on somebody?
Does somebody, I mean, you actually fucking woke my ass up.
We're doing the work.
Oh, damn.
Yeah.
No, they're fucking fighting.
I don't know what the fuck.
They're fighting.
(44:40):
They're just fighting because they don't even know why they're alive.
They're fucking miserable.
They're miserable.
They're miserable.
But so they, so back to the, the good, the good funny part, I guess.
I don't even know.
But I don't know.
(45:02):
He's making like, I just hear Tin like,
Tin, Tin, Tin, Tin, Tin, Tin, Tin.
To call the dogs, but.
But no, what the fuck is going on?
So I look out my window and I go, well, he's making some type of,
a, I don't know, some type of Tin shit.
I'll, I'll send you a picture after the episode.
But for the skeletons or no, I don't know what the hell they're doing in the backyard.
(45:27):
But it's insane.
But I keep telling them how much I love them.
And, you know, maybe, maybe it'll work.
Nah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
These people, sheeple.
(45:50):
I don't know.
I don't know.
Look, let's go do something good.
What were we doing?
Okay, something good.
Yeah, I don't know.
I had good stuff, but it just turned bad because.
Hey, no, why are you so angry today?
I'm not angry.
I'm not angry either.
I'm just like, awakened or just common sense.
(46:13):
Like if I, I don't know, just like with the, let's revisit all this and then we can.
Yeah, but I was okay because it's coming up on an hour.
Just like ladies, if you, if you go to, I guess, get your Vagwax, clean up before you
fucking go.
And by the way, if you're getting your Vagwax, maybe when you use public toilets,
(46:38):
please also check the public toilet seat to make sure you didn't leave hairs on the
fucking public toilet seat because that shit drives me fucking nuts.
Fucking nuts.
City of Long Beach.
I'm calling you out specifically.
Them fucking bitches over there are disgusting all day long.
(46:59):
Work there for six years.
That's all you need to know.
I can't, I can't even breathe.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I just had to like, you were raging all day.
I'm like, I just need to let that.
I'm like, and I know you're a young little bitch, right?
(47:25):
Cause it's not gray.
You young girls, I love you.
By the way, just shave it all off.
Nobody likes to see hair down there.
Like that's so disgusting.
What's up?
Like, I mean, a landing strip wouldn't do that.
(47:46):
You know what?
Speaking of, let me ask you this, Pomona Balls.
I don't know if you've ever seen a, you've seen a Playboy magazine.
Yes.
Of course.
Okay.
So when was the first time you like thumb through a Playboy magazine?
I, oh shit.
Thank you for asking.
I was about maybe four years old and my dad had a fucking, okay.
(48:07):
Well, you win.
A brother.
Okay.
Well, I didn't know about Playboy until like my neighbor, I guess my, my friend growing up the
the street.
Does that make sense?
My, I guess my neighborhood friend that we would walk to school together.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
So I think I was in fifth or sixth.
It was like when I first started, I guess getting hair down there.
(48:27):
So she's like, you want to see something?
And I'm like, sure.
Her dad had a stack of Playboy magazines, right?
So I'm like, oh, and I'm like, these girls are, and I'm not attracted to girls like that.
But I thought it was fucking sexy that they were fucking laying out on the, you know, the,
the spreads.
And I'm just like, come on, a bullet.
Here's the thing.
I'm fucking analyzing this shit down to a T at, I guess in fifth or sixth grade.
(48:48):
And I'm just like, why don't they have fucking hair down there?
Because I have hair right now and I didn't have hair reformed.
She's like, girl, they fucking shave their shit.
And I'm like, what?
She's like, yeah.
And I'm like, so I can take a razor to down there.
And she's like, yes.
And I'm like, at fifth, I think by sixth grade, I've been shaving my snatch in sixth grade.
I'm just like, I fucking hate that shit.
(49:10):
The shit is so gross.
And I'm just like, I want to look like the girls in the fucking Playboy magazine.
Yeah.
Wait, have you ever nicked yourself?
Oh God, girl.
Yes.
And like, okay.
So let's, let's, let's talk about, I guess we're going to have to go longer.
I'm so, let's talk about like, so, so.
(49:30):
I've only ever had a stand up shower growing up, right?
So like imagine like trying to hike your leg up so you can fucking like, right?
So that's all I've ever did, right?
But like if you, like if you fucking shave your snatch for like some sixth grade,
you know how to fucking do that shit.
But yeah, but now and then you end up nicking and you're just like, God damn it.
(49:52):
I guess I'm not a one blade or a two blade.
You know what?
Okay.
So I, I don't know about you, but I have my Amazon subscription for like the disposable
razors for girls and they were out for the last two months.
So I went to the guys fucking razors girl guys, guys razors are so much fucking better.
They have five, they have five blades and I'm just like, this fucking cuts better than the,
(50:17):
the three, I guess the three blades or whatever you just said for the girls.
So I'm like, I am going to only buy guys razors from moving forward at 50 years old.
I just figured out the guys razors are 10 times better or a billion times better than girls
razors when it comes to shaving your snatch billion times, billion times, billion times.
(50:38):
I'm just like, fuck these little pink ass shit.
I'm going to blue.
Why was I always?
No, no, these little, the girl razors that I buy now, those little bit.
Yeah.
And like the ones that are really wide, do you know what I'm talking about?
Like the really big.
Yep.
And I'm like, well, clearly that's just to shave your legs and your armpits.
(50:58):
Like you girls don't clearly shave your fucking snatch because you can't shave your
snatch with that fucking thing.
Like it's too wide or longer.
You know what I'm talking about.
Exactly.
We just use that.
You just use that little that like that basic one.
Right.
Yes.
Yes.
But it has five blades and I'm just like, oh my God, for the last four weeks, I'm like,
(51:20):
this is fucking heaven.
This is fucking amazing.
Yeah.
You just got to do like three or four swipes and get on.
Yeah.
You're just like in and out, out, out.
From the asshole and then you're just like, boom, like done, done.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But I think we're old school.
And like that's the whole thing.
(51:40):
I think we are old school because like the people, well, I shouldn't say the people I know,
but like when I asked, when I, the city of Long Beach, when I work for the city of Long
Beach during lockdown, like everybody was working from home.
I went in twice a week because I just couldn't fucking stand being at home.
And I'm like, come on, a bullets.
There was not even a full, like everybody was, because I know you were in the mortgage industry.
(52:05):
So it's different because you were, I guess, independent.
But for the city of Long Beach, like there was only five females on the floor that I worked on.
That's including me for the day I'm talking about in question.
Okay.
Forced bathroom stalls.
Why?
Why?
(52:26):
When I walked into the first bathroom stall, there's a fucking hair on the goddamn fucking toilet
or the toilet seat.
I'm like, ill.
I walked out.
I go into the second stall.
Same fucking thing.
And I'm just like, there's poor bitches here besides me.
And there's fucking badge hairs or pubic hairs on these goddamn seats.
(52:46):
Fucking bitches are just fucking gross.
And there's only one there.
So out of there's five there, including me.
So one of the girls I talked to and I'm like, hey, do you shave your snatched?
And she's like, girl, I keep it clean all day long.
I'm like, thank you very much.
I'm like, don't go into stall one or two because there's fucking pubes on there.
She's like, I think I'm going to throw up.
(53:06):
I'm like, well, go throw up and fucking stall number three.
You should be like, bitch, do you, do you fucking pressure wash after like fucking come on now?
I like that because they would, but my thing is that they would never do that at their house.
So the fact that they fucking just get up and they fucking walk out and they, oh,
(53:29):
I'm like, you know what?
I was to the point where I was just like, I think I might do a DNA like,
like submit a fucking sample of your fucking kids because I'm going to figure out who the fuck you guys are.
I don't know.
I just don't get the girls with their, I don't know, you know what?
(53:51):
They're dirty.
They're dirty.
They were going to flush through tampons and clock the toilets and they're fucking nuts.
They don't even like, I don't know.
It's like, do you do this at home or are you just like exactly?
You just fucking say, hey, I don't have to clean it.
So you're just a fucking douchebag.
Like fuck, fucking weird.
(54:12):
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh, my stomach hurts again.
I'm sorry.
What do you want to recap with?
I just want to recap that, hey, everybody, be, if you have a neighbor that you don't like or just,
just, you know what?
It's just going to boil down to everybody.
(54:34):
Just let's, let's just focus on respect.
Let's respect each other.
Let's just, like, whether it's the toilet or the neighbor, let's just, or your dog or your dog.
Yeah.
Let's just respect and let's just be good human beings.
I like that.
(54:57):
I'm going to have to be a better human being too, but by that, I, by that, I don't mean I
leave fucking hairs on the toilet seat or I don't brush my teeth.
And I'm not going to fucking leave piss fucking drips on the toilet either.
Like, no, no, no.
God.
Lord.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But let's just be respectful to each other, respectful to ourselves.
(55:20):
Self love.
Yeah.
Let's try to bring that back.
Yes.
And it's okay to sit down and do nothing.
Don't feel guilty.
Yeah.
You get fucking texts on your phone all day long while you take a shit.
It's all good.
Like.
But don't talk on the phone while you're pooping.
Yeah.
And please, please don't.
It's called boundaries.
Yeah.
There's boundaries, man.
It's called, it's called respect.
(55:43):
Yes.
Self respect.
Self respect.
Okay.
On that note, we are out.
We are out.
Peace out.
Have a great week.
We'll see you later.
Bye.
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