Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Alright, are you happy or sad?
(00:08):
Which way?
Oh, I guess...
Oh, you're happy!
And you are?
Pomona bullets.
I guess I'm happy.
Oh, I'm always happy, bitch!
I am Baroque Medusa.
This is Top Shelf Hi-Jinks and we clink clinkin' bitches!
Happy Friday Eve, bitch!
(00:31):
Happy Friday Eve, bitch!
What it do?
How's your hair looking?
Fabulous!
Did you just get home from there or you got home on time?
Yeah, no, I got home on time.
But she did want to put a different...
She tried a new toner.
Oh my gosh, I hate when they try new shit on me.
(00:53):
And it's like, why?
Did it... so it didn't turn out good?
Well, she's like, um, you know what?
You know when they say when you're going blonde or light, or do you want warm tones
or cool tones?
Do you know the difference between that?
Yeah, well it depends on your skin tone, so you would probably want neutral or cool.
I don't think warm...
(01:14):
Like, warm tones are like what I have in my hair.
Because I'm warm...
My skin complexion is warm.
Yeah.
Okay, so like I'm more of like an olive.
So yeah, a cool...
Well, whatevs.
I was just thinking of like gangster chola days, just like put a bottle of a peroxide
(01:34):
in my hair or some sunning.
Oh my god, I'm sunning.
Oh my god, I fucking did sunning in junior fucking high.
And that was like cool until it wasn't.
And the grow up...
Oh my fucking god.
You bring back so many horror stories.
Oh my gosh, I remember thinking...
(01:55):
I just got that boxed dye and I'm straight burnet.
Straight dark brown, that's it.
And oh my god, I'm gonna dye my hair blonde.
Wrong.
I totally forgot about that.
Oh my god, I can't believe they actually sold that and they actually sold it to fucking
(02:18):
minors like...
I know, so funny.
We can't even get cold medicine these days without our IDs.
God, right?
Just legit.
I have to have the people unlock where the deodorant is.
I'm like, I just need some secret deodorant.
Please.
Oh my god, that brings back memories.
(02:40):
Holy fucking shit, girl.
Yeah, but that was seventh and eighth grade to me.
Shit.
I mean, that was like, you know, 30 years ago, but still.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah, but my hair, it came out fine and I think she wanted to do warm.
Okay.
(03:01):
I guess she's like, it's more of a cool or they're cool light or I don't know.
And I was like, you know what?
I go, let me see.
Blow dry this shit and let me see.
And I guess we'll FaceTime afterwards so I can see it.
Yeah, for sure.
I pretty much look the same.
It's just we're just bumping it up a notch.
Okay.
(03:21):
Rockstar, um, Pomona bullets it is.
Yeah, I feel great.
You know how you feel after you get your hair done.
Yeah.
For about three weeks and then the roots start showing you like, God damn it.
I'm back to dark on the top.
I know.
I like that shit.
But yeah, she did the whole, I mean, washed my hair.
The whole, the whole thing.
(03:43):
And it's, I just love it because do when you get your hair done, do they do the whole
like deep massage on your head?
Oh my God.
And my hair guy is gay.
So he has fake nails on and it's the best scalp massage.
I'm like, you have to have your nails on every fucking time you do my fucking hair because
it is the best fucking scalp massage.
(04:04):
I think I just fell.
So you should say, where is this toner?
I fucking end up snoring when he has me sitting at the sink because the toner sitting in there
for like 15 minutes or whatever.
I'm like, I knocked the fuck out after he massages my scalp.
That was me today.
I was just like, thank you.
Yes, please.
(04:25):
So worth the $300.
Good damn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Pomona bullets.
I know you're not on Instagram.
I'm here to inform you because I know you like sugar.
I don't know where it's available, but Snickers has a, I hope you're sitting down for this.
(04:46):
Oh, I'm sitting down.
Do you like Snickers?
Right?
I like Kit Kat.
Yeah.
I like Twix.
I'm sorry, Twix.
Okay.
Well, Snickers has a white chocolate strawberry cheesecake Snickers bar available.
I don't know where it is, but they have it on Instagram.
So I'm like, I need to tell Pomona bullets.
(05:09):
Now that I'm older, I have, I have not touched.
I used to like Butterfinger when I was, oh my God.
Yeah.
Because of the crunch.
Yeah.
And that was, you know, junior high, maybe freshman year.
And then I just, no, I have not had a Butterfinger in forever.
(05:30):
I remember trying to eat one of the kids Butterfingers from Trick or Treating.
Are they gross?
Yeah.
I haven't had candy bar in ages.
Yeah.
I was just gross.
And I don't know if it was the fact that the older you get your taste buds, you know,
(05:51):
change or you're all fake cow shit.
That's why.
Yeah.
I used to love SpaghettiOs and I remember.
Oh God.
I remember getting over it up a can and giving it to my kids one day and I was eating the
rest and I go, what the fuck is this?
Catch up and like, thank you.
It's cats up.
Yeah.
(06:12):
The fuck is in some soggy ass.
And the ones with the meatballs, remember?
Oh my God.
Those little rabbit turds.
Oh my God.
Just a little bit bigger than Titsy Rolls.
Or Titsy Rolls.
Yeah.
And now, and this one is Deluxe.
Meatballs.
Meatballs.
I never saw.
I mean, I have marbles.
(06:35):
Right.
Back in the day.
Shit.
Yeah.
Fucking meatballs.
Oh my God.
What the hell?
No, the only thing.
Well, actually the only thing that I will still eat from a can as far as meat.
What is that?
That fucking, what is it called?
(06:56):
The corned beef hash.
Oh, I tried to eat that before.
Maybe about two or three years ago and I couldn't.
I'm just like, this is just fucking lard.
It's not even legit.
Is it better?
Or the one that I bought.
Yeah.
No.
I guess corned beef hash or whatever.
It has to be at a restaurant.
Yeah.
It has to be the real deal, I guess.
Yeah.
(07:17):
It has to be legit.
Yeah.
I'm waiting for fucking St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah.
There you go.
Some real corned beef.
But that was pretty much the last thing I had.
But as far as Snickers goes, the other, maybe about two weeks ago, I was so hungry at work.
(07:37):
I didn't have lunch and I usually go to the checkout stand and we have things.
The candy or whatever.
The candy or just little crap.
Snacks.
And I just thought of that commercial.
If you're hungry, why wait?
Like take a Snickers.
I was like, fuck, I haven't had a Snickers in forever.
(07:59):
But I told you the price of candy bars.
Yeah.
What's a candy bar cost now?
Well, here in Oregon, it is $3.99 for a regular candy bar for a fucking Snickers.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, you know, I'm kind of bougie when it comes to candy bars.
(08:19):
Trader Joe's stopped selling the candy bar that was imported from the UK.
So I fucking go on Amazon.
There's $6 a bar girl.
And I fucking, I'm like, let me just buy fucking six and I fucking bought six.
What?
Can you say the name or what?
It's Montezuma's absolute black.
So the only ingredient in this fucking candy bar is 100 percent cacao.
(08:43):
Like there's no sugar.
Yeah.
It's like bitter, bitter, bitter.
So I like to eat that with like dried fruit.
That's my fucking candy or whatever.
But I was so angry when Trader Joe's Trader Joe's stopped selling a lot of shit during
the pandemic and they never picked it back up.
And I don't know if people just don't buy 100 percent cacao.
I don't think anybody does.
I think I'm the only fucking.
(09:04):
No, I do because I just bought a 100 percent cacao bar dark chocolate or dark.
Is it with sugar though?
Are you?
No, no sugar.
No sugar.
So you're like me.
Everybody thinks I'm weird.
I'm like, I love to eat it with like dried mango and dried fig.
Oh, it's just it balances out so fucking well.
Yeah.
Everybody was telling me, what the hell are you eating?
(09:27):
Yeah.
And it had ginger and turmeric in it.
Oh, is that good?
Girl, it was really good.
What's the brand?
Um, it's at my it's at my office.
So I will have to let me or text it to me because I've never heard of that.
I'm interested in try that.
It is delish.
I mean, of course you only need a little square.
(09:48):
Yeah.
So here's yeah, because it's so fucking rich, right?
The whole candy bar.
So these four, I think I bought six candy bars, either four or six.
Yeah, six candy bars.
I spent fucking $45 on my shit.
No, well worth it.
Yeah, that it'll last like five months.
Like one candy bar will last me at least three weeks because it's so fucking rich.
Right.
(10:08):
Yeah.
People looking at me all crazy.
I'm like, no, not paying no fucking four dollars.
And but why is it four dollars?
So did you buy it there or did you have to buy it on Amazon?
I know.
I actually bought the the turmeric with the ginger bar.
I got that one at Trader Joe's.
Huh.
So they do have.
Okay.
(10:28):
I need to look for that then.
Yeah.
I'll totally.
I'm going to work tomorrow.
I will take a picture and say this is what I'm eating.
It is.
Okay.
Yeah.
Send it to me because I'm interested.
That way I have variety.
Yeah.
And I just, yeah, it's just, I just take a little brick of the little, you know how
they come in little squares.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(10:49):
Yeah.
So I like it.
And worst case, I like to eat it with a spoonful of peanut butter.
Exactly.
That's my racist pieces.
Right.
I think everybody wants a piece, but then this is why Snickers said it's $5 because
it's share size.
Fuck that.
Because people want.
I would eat the whole thing.
Yeah.
(11:09):
You know, I don't share food.
Yeah.
I'm going to share shit.
Well, obviously I would share shit because that's what I'm buying is shit.
I think right.
Snickers is crap.
Yeah.
I can't do it anymore.
My pellet has evolved.
Well, good.
I'm glad to hear that.
You're an adult now.
I know.
I love adulting.
(11:30):
So fun.
I'm certain things maybe.
So sad.
Okay.
So I have one more thing about Instagram.
And I sent you that picture, I guess, or the Instagram post.
So Bad Boys is have the Bad Boys franchise, the movie with Will Smith and what's his name,
Martin Lawrence.
Yes.
(11:50):
They're having their, I think it's part four.
Is it part four?
I think it's part four.
It would be four.
Yes.
And you saw the post, right?
It says, right or die.
Is there anything wrong with that?
Let me look at it again.
Okay.
Or just, just if you hear right or die, like I'll go into it afterwards, but that's whatever.
(12:11):
Do you see anything wrong with that?
Yes.
Because yes, I see a lot of things wrong with that, but.
Okay.
Do tell.
Well, one, they don't even look like they're even writing or, I mean, I don't know.
Or they're dying.
(12:31):
But yeah, I'm just kidding.
Well, I'm not kidding.
You know, right or die.
That's just so they're going to die.
I mean, what the fuck?
Seriously?
Okay.
How many years later?
I don't know.
And why is Will Smith's name?
Has it always been first?
Yeah.
Okay.
So my, my thing is this.
(12:54):
Rider die Pomona bullets is what they say for the fast and the furious.
Fast and the furious has 10 fucking movies.
And they've said that since the very first fucking movie writer fucking die.
So I'm like, who the fuck put this shit together for goddamn bad boys?
Like hello.
Whoa.
(13:15):
I have to admit, I only saw the first, the first two.
Well, you know, I'm a fast and furious fucking bitch all day long.
I was just like, you guys, I don't know who's doing the marketing for this, but you guys
are clearly in the wrong.
They gave up.
They said, you know what?
Let's just do that.
(13:35):
Let's just say writer die.
I guess so.
We're dominant writing each other.
Like just fucking get out of here.
Like.
And if you're wanted, now you're fugitives.
Hey, are you going to ride the fucking bus to the fucking prison?
Like or die?
(13:55):
I don't know.
No motorcycles.
There's no, there's no rice burners, rice rockets.
Like, I don't know.
Swooped up.
I don't know.
I can say that because I eat rice every day.
There you go.
Have you seen all the bad boys?
There's three of them so far.
(14:16):
So this is going to be the fourth one.
Have you seen the third one?
The third one is total fucking trash.
That's why I'm asking.
Thank goodness I didn't see it.
No, okay.
I fucking actually bought that.
So I don't have to watch it in the theaters.
I'm like, this is going to be good.
The second one is the first, the first two.
I like the second one is my favorite.
But the third one, I was just like, oh, this is a soap opera for guys.
(14:36):
This is the only thing that was great about that was that meek mill had a fucking goddamn
song on the soundtrack.
That was it.
That movie fucking.
Shit.
You know, usually when it comes to like a third, I never watch it.
It's like how if an example, but they always mess with you because the first one is a good
(14:59):
like any movie.
The first one, you're just like, damn, that was a good movie.
Like that was pretty good.
And then the second one, you're like, holy shit.
That one.
Yeah.
Pop the first and then the third one comes out and it's like fucking psych.
Yeah.
The spoiler alert for the third one, Will Smith has a baby or I guess his son was with
(15:20):
a girl that he was with and she's the terrorist and this whole fucking thing.
And he, the son is coming back for redemption because he got abandoned by him or some bullshit
like that.
And I'm just like, oh my God, damn soap opera for men.
Let's just stop.
I thought you guys are bad boys.
(15:41):
No.
No, that is all.
That's so.
And honestly, I thought, um, Martin Lawrence was like kind of out of the game.
I don't know, but I fucking love him.
So hopefully he, so hopefully he does his thing because Will Smith, whatever, I'm assuming
(16:02):
they're doing this movie just because Will Smith slapped.
What's his name?
Like what, whatever that was.
And now he's finally in a movie again.
I guess.
I don't know, but who knows because movies are always in production for years.
Right.
And then it comes out like, oh shit, no, I bet you it's going to be a blockbuster failure.
(16:22):
Yeah.
Well, I don't even think it's a blockbuster anymore.
I mean, you can stream it like right away.
Yeah.
Straight to streaming.
Yeah.
Straight to my own home theater.
Okay, so me and Pomona Bullets have been talking all morning because I had to tell her to wake
(16:43):
the fuck up.
Nick Diaz has a fight scheduled for, what is it in December?
I want to say that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Perfect.
So then Pomona Bullets is like, yeah, um, did you know that Tyson and Jake Paul fight
got canceled?
I'm like, uh, what?
No, I don't think so.
And then I told you I was going to check.
I checked and I didn't want to tell you till now, but the fight is still on.
(17:06):
Okay.
So Tyson had that, I guess the scare before he boarded the plane, something with his heart,
I want to say I could be wrong.
Yeah.
Sometimes a medical scare.
Yeah.
Medical scare, but fucking Jake Paul gets on, I guess social media and says, uh, he's,
um, Mike Tyson's making shit up.
And I'm like, even on Mike Tyson's bad day, if he's in the hospital, he could still knock
(17:27):
you out while he's in the gurney.
Oh yeah.
Recovering from like heart surgery.
So shut the fuck up, you little boy.
Yeah.
You're probably a little Disney channel boy.
Um, then I'll call him iron fist Mike Tyson for nothing.
Right.
He has to be scared.
But it's not going to be a real fight anyways.
(17:48):
I mean, if it's, I'm not even going to watch it.
Is it free on Netflix?
I think you have to buy it.
I don't even know.
I don't know either.
I really not even, I do have to buy stuff when you are, cause I don't have Netflix.
So do they have stuff that you have to buy on the top of their subscription?
No, usually if you're just a, you, you subscribe to Netflix and you have a Netflix account,
(18:13):
I never bought nothing or anything extra.
Okay.
I didn't even realize it was going to be on Netflix.
Oh shit.
I don't, well, I'm like the oldest fucking lady when it comes to going online.
I'm like Google or ask, I asked Siri.
I always get so upset.
I'm just like Siri is the fight canceled.
(18:35):
And she's like, this is what I found.
And it's like fucking butterflies or some bullshit.
And it's like fucking Siri.
I hate you.
Question.
Did you watch that Tom Brady roast?
I did not, but I've been hearing mad, mad raves about it.
Okay.
So I watched it.
It was really fucking long.
It was good on some parts, some parts wasn't.
(18:57):
Here's the thing.
I was like concerned, I guess Giselle and I guess his ex-wife and his ex-baby mama was
mad that he was talking, or I guess that he didn't stick up for them.
Oh, does that make sense?
Cause he was getting roasted.
They were making fun of them.
They were making fun of, you know, that part.
Girl, I cannot believe, I guess, I think I want to say it was Kevin Hart that was talking
(19:17):
shit about Robert Kraft, the owner of the goddamn New England Patriots.
That motherfucker was sitting there in the audience.
Okay.
Robert Kraft.
And that's when Tom Brady gets up and says you cannot talk about him like that.
And I'm like, what are you a fucking simp?
We already knew he's a fucking bitch, but him not saying, I mean, I don't think I, I
(19:39):
don't know.
Um, I don't think he should, I don't know when it comes to like, I guess standing up
for his ex-wife and his baby's mama.
I mean, it's a fucking roast.
What do you expect?
A, but if you're not going to stand up for them and they're the mother of your kids,
even though you guys aren't together anymore, I totally got it.
Why are you standing up for Robert Kraft?
Yeah.
(20:00):
Fucking simp.
Fucking simp.
R scripted and took that check to the bank cause he's a loser.
That's just insane.
But to be in the ex-wifey's shoes.
(20:20):
Yeah.
Come on.
Stop.
You're just, you could definitely get money, but it's a roast.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So I'm like, just fucking have, yeah, just don't watch or don't listen.
And who gives a shit?
Right.
Yeah.
Who gives a shit?
But the fact that he stood up for Robert Kraft, I'm like, you're such a fucking bitch.
Oh gosh.
He's like, I hope they call me back out of retirement.
(20:42):
Right?
I went one day and, uh, yeah.
So when you watch it, watch out for that.
You'll just like, bitch, what girl, you're going to have to, you're going to have to
tell me like exactly where to go when it comes to that.
Because I'm just going to skip.
Well, no, I heard it's a long fucking roast.
Like any of the, um, Gronk is on there.
(21:02):
You know who Rob Gronkowski is, right?
They make fun of him a lot.
They make fun of him really well.
Um, and he plays into it really well too.
So, um, I think he was the only one that was funny when, when it came to the, the sports
guys or I'm sorry, not the sports guys, the athletes that were there to roast because
clearly they didn't write their fucking.
(21:24):
Of course.
Yeah.
Both there's, but, uh, I would say no for the, um, the athletes.
So, or I guess his teammates or whatever the fuck.
Geez.
I don't know.
Sometimes do you think you could, if somebody said, okay, Medusa, you're going to get roast.
We're going to honor you.
(21:45):
You're going to get roast.
Do you think you could actually like, are you that type of good sport to do it?
I mean, if it was like, like you and like my close friends, yeah, I'm down for that
shit.
What if it was like some listener?
Fuck.
You know what?
No, I forgot you're a sorry, you're a poor, poor fucking sport.
I would just sit there and my laugh, my face, I would just have that resting bitch.
(22:09):
I don't know.
I would have to be really fucking drunk.
That I'll just be like, shit, I'm going to use, can I use that?
Is that patent?
Can I use that?
I want to use that.
Um, yeah.
Yeah, but if you can't talk back and you just have to literally be roasted.
Um, well, yeah, you would have to be on alcohol.
Clearly.
(22:30):
Fucking alcohol, whatever the fuck else that's in my reach.
Yeah, I, yeah, I think I would, I, I couldn't get roasted.
I was just like, you could just honor me some other way because yeah, can I bring a gun?
Like, yeah, I have an open carry.
(22:52):
Like, can I, can I do that?
Uh, okay.
Sorry.
Nope.
I'm just saying that's it.
I was going to say speaking of guns.
So the reason why I found out about Nick Diaz today, because when I was at the gym, there
was fucking UFC everywhere.
I'm like, what the fuck?
And it was Sean Strickland.
So I'm like, is Sean Strickland like causing a ruckus again on social media or like, but
(23:13):
I guess he's fighting this fucking weekend.
I don't know.
I'm not a pro UFC like I used to, but I'm Sean Strickland is fighting.
Who's he fighting?
Paulo Costa.
I don't know who the fuck that is, but our, our liberal white boy.
He's not even liberal.
But you know, our gun towing white boy, Sean Strickland is going to be in the ring.
(23:37):
He's head.
I guess he's co-headlining or co- maybe then.
Yeah.
What's up?
You're right.
I haven't been following UFC or MMA or I don't know any of it.
Like I used to.
That's when I know I'm getting old.
Cause I'm just like, yeah, I just follow what's on my feed, on my Instagram feed, or all
(24:01):
lazy on my Twitter feed.
Yeah.
Exactly.
You're like, oh shit.
That's what I do with the draft.
I don't even watch the NFL draft anymore.
I'm just like, this is my team.
This is who I care about.
I just get.
Oh yeah, I've never watched that.
Just all ding.
I'm like, oh, they picked up who?
And I just coo-cold the name.
We'll see how that guy does.
(24:24):
There you go.
Yeah.
We're so lazy.
We Americans so lazy.
So what else are, what are you doing this weekend since you're off this week?
Yes.
I am so glad.
Okay.
I have a.
I have a work story.
(24:45):
Yeah.
And how did, and, and informed the listeners how labor day, or I'm sorry, not labor day
Memorial Day went or whatever.
Cause you worked the Sunday that was before Memorial Day.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Because yeah, everybody works every, and I love the reason why.
And mind you, this is my first time ever really being in retail.
(25:10):
I've never, ever, ever had a job in retail, not in high school.
It was always fast food or something else.
I never worked in retail.
Oh, I did work at a Mervins one.
Oh my God.
I worked there too for one Christmas.
I was wrapping gifts.
I was in the gift wrapping department.
(25:31):
Oh, that must have been fun.
You know what?
I rocked it and every, yeah, it was, it was actually pretty fun.
It wasn't dealing with, I don't know, inventory and all this retail.
So it was just, hey, wrap these effing gifts.
Um, yeah.
So at work, yes, I had to work the whole Memorial weekend, Memorial Day weekend.
(25:58):
And it was insane.
Of course it's right because I guess we had some Memorial Day flashers or slash and prices.
And I don't know.
I just didn't find the terminology that great.
I just, wow, shouldn't we just have like a moment of silence and everybody go home?
(26:20):
But no, we have a massive sale.
And my boss says it's a, it's the super bowl of retail weekend.
Oh, okay.
Well, that still doesn't make me even that much more happier to be here.
They had me face paint because we had this huge hoopla and the parking lot.
(26:46):
Like, you know, up for more than bullets.
Watch, you finished with payroll.
I said, yeah, why don't you go out there and interact with our customers?
I said, excuse me.
That's not in my job description.
Right?
Yeah.
And I was like, what do you want me to do?
Face paint.
Yeah, you know, maybe I can't, why the fuck was it this, the cheapest fucking face paint
(27:12):
that you're trying to paint on these kids and, and there's nothing, nothing to go off
of, but luckily I didn't want them to know how artistically inclined I was because I
don't want more work.
So right.
I don't really say anything, but I was a little excited.
(27:33):
I was like, what the fuck, you give me these tools?
This is not it.
It looked like that 99 cent store finger paint that you buy your kids that you think it just
doesn't do anything.
I don't know.
I don't know.
So I ended up finding a stack of tattoos, the fake tattoos.
(27:57):
Okay.
And they were just the flags, stars, whatnot.
I said, okay, pick a tattoo where you want your tattoo.
I started trying all the kids and the kids are like, I want a tattoo.
I want a tattoo.
Wait, how many kids were there?
Oh my gosh.
Bring your kids to buy a barbecue grill day.
(28:17):
I have no idea.
And I still to this to right now, I don't understand who the F. Well, obviously, I guess
they did want to buy a barbecue because yeah, they're going to barbecue for Memorial weekend
or whatever.
So yeah, let's leave our kids in line to get a face painting.
I'm like, check it out.
(28:38):
It's a tattoo now.
I guess I'm going to pull this out here.
So I started putting these tattoos on these kids and then I just kind of color it with
just this stupid paint.
There's nothing on nobody's face unless the kids wanted a tattoo on their face.
I'm like, oh, wow.
Okay.
What tell me why my line was at the minimum 18 kids.
(29:03):
What?
Yes.
And then you're the only face painter.
Yeah.
And I and I wish I was a prize face painting to like it's tattoos because this is cheap
ass shit and I'm making an executive decision to do tattoos, which it was cool because
it was all the little tattoos were just like I said, it was just like a black little outline
(29:24):
of an American flag or stars or.
Okay.
Just, I don't know, just patriotic and I would just put the tattoo on them and then
I would paint color it in like there you go.
Well, you want some glitter poof.
I put a glitter bomb on their face and yeah, that's pretty much it.
(29:47):
But just saying they ended up telling me that I had to do.
I had to stand in front of a barbecue grill and there's this huge sign that says ask me
how to win or ask me how you can win.
I don't know.
(30:08):
And they were telling me, granted, I am not, I'm not the sales specialist.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Even when I'm walking the floor in those people will stop me and say, excuse me, excuse
me, where do I find the space shooters?
I don't fucking know.
Like, maybe back there somewhere.
(30:28):
I don't know.
I'm just horrible.
They told me to do some, I have to just welcome the lows.
Welcome the lows.
You have any interior, exterior project going on in your home?
How can we help?
How can we help?
I started doing that.
And I got, I don't know, 11 people to sign up and get a raffle ticket to win because
(30:49):
if they signed up, if they had any projects and they gave us the information so we could
reach out and give them a quote to, and there was one thing that I realized was there's
a lot of people that come here because shit has gone down.
They need help.
They're trying to fix something.
Yes, please.
Give me a quote.
They're not here for just plants or barbecue.
(31:13):
So many people were like, hell yeah, my kids just flooded my bathroom.
The floor has buckled.
We are here.
Do you install it?
Yeah, we do it all.
So I got 11 leads and I wanted to leave.
I wanted to leave.
I was like, can I, can I leave?
Can I leave early?
(31:34):
Can I leave?
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
How many leads did you get?
I was all here.
They're all, fuck.
You got 11?
How long were you out there?
I was like for hour, four or five minutes.
And my allergies are banging.
I'm crying.
I'm choking.
I, like, I don't want to see another person.
I don't want to talk to another person.
(31:55):
I want to go home.
And there are 11 leads.
My manager comes out and she says, hey, come on, bullets.
You know what?
I think she's all bitch.
I think we found your niche.
You do not need to be doing schedules and all these orientations.
So you're going to, are they going to make you do that more?
(32:18):
I will fucking put in, I won't even put in my two week notice.
I will just never show up again.
I do not.
I am not a salesperson.
I'm not.
I was just going to say, I'm like, what the fuck?
But tell me why I get $1,000 on my next check because one of those leads went through
(32:38):
out of the 11.
What's the, what are they supposed, they're supposed to buy something?
No, they just basically, for example, one person was telling me that they're here because
they're looking for tile for their bathroom because their kids flooded the bathroom.
So the one floor underneath buckled.
So all the trial and so they need wood, they need tile, they're trying to fix.
(33:02):
They're just looking for the materials.
Do we install?
I said, yes.
They said, yes, take my information.
Yes, help.
We need help.
Okay, so I'm just like, okay, so they're whatever.
Okay, I believe you.
I don't know.
I guess these, these foos need help.
(33:24):
So they want me to get a lead to say, how can we help as far as installation?
Well, they better fucking, and they said they're going to copy for it.
Yeah, I didn't even know I was going to get comped.
Like shit.
Yes.
Okay, good.
Okay, well, I hope they all turn out to be good leads.
I sure hope so because there were so many people.
(33:46):
I had this whole little thing down packed.
I would say welcome to Lowe's.
And if someone would just ignore me, I'm like, I'm not going to ask if you have any projects
or I don't care.
I just, I selectively chose who I was going to talk to.
And I successfully got their whole life story on how their dogs suck and their kids suck.
(34:10):
And how being a homeowner sucks and their life is just miserable.
Everything is so bad.
Their roof is leaking.
All this, like just, it was just, it was really depressing actually.
You're like, I'm just going to go back to painting faces.
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
I was like, you know what?
I have a line over there of people who want tattoos and face painted.
(34:34):
Oh my goodness.
And then I hate kids too.
So I don't even know why they put me there.
I can't stand people's kids just like their cats or they at least will be haved.
A few of them.
And then a few are just like, geez.
They were those type of kids where the mom probably makes dinner and there's maybe three
(35:00):
children in the household.
And there's that one kid that says, I don't want spaghetti.
I want chicken nuggets and the mom will go and make chicken nuggets.
Oh, fuck that.
Yeah.
It's like those type of kids.
Oh my gosh.
When your mom's not like, I'm going to pinch you.
Right.
No.
But yeah.
(35:20):
Geez.
What has happened to my life?
That's all I want to know.
Well, it'll turn out better.
I promise.
And hopefully, like I said, it'll, what's the word I'm looking for?
Those leads will pan out sooner rather than later.
Oh yeah.
And then I'll just cash out and piece out.
(35:46):
That's right, bitch.
Yeah.
And moving on to bigger and better.
How's your, how's your work going for you?
You still loving it?
It's going good.
Yeah.
Every day's Friday when you work from home.
Love it.
Yeah.
So did I tell you that I'm a contractor, right?
Did I tell you that?
(36:06):
No.
So I'm not, I'm not, I'm not a permanent employee.
So they asked me last week, my supervisor, she's like, Hey, so do you like work in here
and blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, yeah, I do.
And whatever she's like, do you want to be permanent?
Would you want to be permanent or you want to remain contractor?
I'm like, Oh, let me be permanent please.
So here's my thing.
When I used to work for the city of Long Beach, I was there for six, six years.
(36:30):
And that was the only stint that I had for the public sector.
Everything moves.
So goddamn slow.
So she's like my supervisor that I work for now, she's like private sector, obviously.
She's like, okay.
So I'm going to call HR and they're going to be in contact with you soon because the
rec is going to open up.
(36:51):
So you need to apply.
And I'm like, all right, that's cool.
Like in about six weeks, maybe six months.
Bitch.
She told me that on Tuesday on Friday, I had an email in my fucking inbox telling me,
you need to apply now as soon as you apply, you let me know so I can close this shit.
And I'm like, I am so.
Boom.
Yeah.
(37:12):
And I'm like, fuck the city of Long Beach a and b.
I fucking talked to her on, we had a prelim call on Wednesday and she's like, yeah.
So are you going to be ready for a background check and drug testing in the next three weeks?
Basically, she's like, don't waste my fucking time.
Yeah.
And I'm like, most definitely.
So maybe after that I can do mushrooms.
(37:32):
Yeah.
I'm like, I'm so glad I fucking waited.
See, it all happens for a day.
That's right.
But that's awesome.
That is awesome.
I'm so freaking excited.
Let's see what happens.
So yeah, you know, I do want to bring one thing up though that we were texting about
the other day when you sent me that Instagram about bar bar.
(37:57):
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I did not know what stood for what did it stand for?
Beer and beer.
Alcohol room or something.
Great.
Yeah.
I did not know that's what beers are.
I'm sorry.
Bar stood for.
I mean, it makes sense, but I didn't know that either.
And I was like, well, I knew it.
(38:18):
I thought it was beer and rum, but I thought I was just making shit up.
And obviously I was.
Yeah.
So, and then I told you I found out when news, news, I did not know that news stood
for Northeast, West and South until you told me that has to be boomer lingo.
(38:43):
It has to be.
I think boomers were booming before OMG and lol.
And yeah, it's just insane.
And I was trying to think, is there anything else that have you, did you kind of rack
your brain and think if there was anything else?
(39:06):
No, you know what?
I don't even know what RSVP stands for now that we're talking about.
I think it's like something in French.
Really?
Let me look that up now that we're talking about RSVP.
I can't even spell RSVP.
Meaning stand for.
Oh, wow, you are.
(39:26):
It is a French phrase respondes, silvue play, whatever.
It translates to respond if you please.
So fancy.
You're so.
The French didn't even invade fucking America.
So how did the fuck did that happen?
Christopher Columbus was fucking Italian.
(39:48):
I don't get it.
We just try to be us.
Take the not be French acronyms.
Right.
French fry, bitch.
Just like the code on the coins.
Did you know that they were thinking about just eliminating coins now?
(40:10):
Excuse me for our currency.
Yeah, I guess they should because I'm tired of that shit.
They're so gross and nasty.
I sometimes I'm bad if if the coins.
I hate coins.
I hate them.
I have them in my console.
(40:31):
So do I.
And if I decide sometimes on a good day, I'll just throw a few out parking lot like here.
It's not like I'm littering.
You know, whoever.
Six months.
So I never got to do that.
Yeah, I normally just hand it out at the if I'm at like what's it called when you get
off the I don't know about up there, but you know, and Cali when you get off the off ramp,
(40:51):
there's people at the homeless.
Yeah.
Yeah, I give it to them.
Yeah, but they don't even ask for like spare change anymore.
They're fucking they they don't.
They do down here.
They they're saying spare change.
No, they just say homeless.
Anything helps or yeah, you know, whatever.
So that's what I give them.
I don't carry.
I don't really carry cash on me.
(41:11):
Yeah, it's rare when I do.
I don't know.
The people up here, they're like just money for food, hungry.
Okay.
Well, I mean, a penny is money.
Right.
Anything helps.
That's a little more.
The etiquette is a little better.
(41:32):
Yeah.
You probably get more results with that type of sign or verbiage.
All right, girl, we need to wrap this up because it's not late, but I got to get dinner
in and I got to get some stuff done.
So thank you very much for joining me, I guess, for Thursday night instead of Sunday.
You got it, girl, because we didn't have Sunday because I had to work.
(41:55):
Right.
And then this Sunday I'm kind of booked.
So thank you for our blogging time out for me today and for our listeners.
Absolutely.
All right, everybody, have a good week.
We will see you not this Sunday, but the following Sunday.
Yes, we will.
All right.
Peace out.
Peace.
Peace out.