July 28, 2024 • 47 mins
Hold onto your seats for a wild ride in this episode of The Clink-Clink Gang! PAHMOANAH BULITZ and Baroque Medusa dive into the Summer Olympics with a side of Snoop Dogg hilarity, then detour to the county fairs, comparing SoCal and Oregon's deep-fried delights and tonight's guest artists. The gang also reminisces about Baroque Medusa's youngest nephew's christening, complete with drunken shenanigans at the after-party. Tune in for a rollercoaster of laughter, sarcasm, and pure, unfiltered chaos.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
All right, are you happy or sad?
(00:02):
Which way?
Oh, I guess, oh, you're happy and you are Pomona Bullet.
I guess I'm happy.
Oh, I'm always happy, bitch.
I am Baruch Medusa.
This is Top Shelf Hi-Jinks and we click clinking, bitches.
Good day, Pomona Bullet.
(00:22):
Good day, Bestie.
Happy Fun Day Sunday.
Happy fucking Olympics Sunday.
Yes, are you watching the Olympics by chance?
Actually, I am.
I didn't realize, I guess it's on the Peacock channel.
My daughter has the app, so I'm watching the USA Germany game.
(00:43):
Soccer, women's soccer, I should say, sorry.
Shoot, I don't know if it's live
because I thought I had to get an app to watch it.
And then Dish was like, no, you could get the app,
but here it is.
So I was watching some basketball and I was like, oh, France.
France and somebody else.
These guys are short.
They're short.
(01:03):
Oh, really?
Yeah, and I was like, I don't know because I think,
is our basketball team, does it consist of our players?
Like, yeah.
I guess from the NBA, if they're, I guess,
born and raised in, I guess, America.
Because I know there's some basketball players that are NBA
and they're playing for, I guess, whatever,
(01:23):
I guess, country they're from.
Oh, yeah.
And I want to say, I talked to one of my friends
and he said that I want to say American basketball for men.
I don't even know if the women are playing,
but the men, I think, is Wednesday is what he said.
So I'm like, oh, OK.
Yeah, I'm probably watching some reruns.
(01:43):
I don't know, but you're right.
I'm assuming, oh, it does say live on my screen.
I'm like, I don't even know if this is live, but it says live.
So OK, I guess that's.
Mine says recorded previously.
OK, well, there you have it.
I guess I don't even know when it started.
I have been a fan when I was a kid.
I kind of just jumped off the bandwagon
(02:05):
for many, many years, actually.
Same.
And I just wait for Yahoo to email me and say,
this is the latest.
I'm like, OK, Yahoo, I believe everything you say.
Right.
Yeah, I thought the Olympics started maybe two weeks ago
because I kept getting or I keep seeing these things on Instagram
and Twitter and just on my newsfeed.
And I'm like, and then I see Snoop on, I think it was Friday
(02:28):
with the torch.
And I'm like, oh, I guess it wasn't the Olympics two weeks ago.
I was like, did you run out with the torch?
I heard it was him and Selma Hayek.
Of course you have one.
And I want to say Martha Stewart.
I don't know, Martha Stewart.
I saw Martha Stewart say Stewart.
Excuse me.
I can't say her fricking name.
Martha Stewart.
I don't know if she had the torch or she was just there
(02:49):
is from what she was being interviewed by somebody.
So I don't know.
That's insane.
I thought Martha.
I don't know what the hell I was watching.
But I saw Snoop.
I guess he was like a commentator or he was.
Is he like the appointed commentator for the Olympics?
I don't know.
I haven't.
The only stuff I've seen on him on social media
(03:11):
was with him with the torch.
I guess I guess the lit torch.
So man, you know, clearly it wasn't a blunt.
Yeah, he made it.
He's all lighting his blunt with the torch running out there.
That would be great.
That would be epic.
I'd watch that.
Same.
(03:31):
Same.
I want to watch.
Yeah.
Let's go, Snoop.
Let's go.
That's insane.
I don't understand.
Because everybody has been telling me.
They're just like, I can't believe there's
going to be the break dancing.
In Olympics.
(03:51):
I think that's the best part, at least for me and you.
I think so.
I think so.
I think that these little break dancers,
I can't wait to see what the other countries are bringing.
I'm saying it's going to be legit.
It's going to be legit.
Like I think we talked about this offline or whatever.
(04:11):
But I want to say Japan.
I call Japan or I guess like South Korea or like the K-pop.
Yeah, South Korea.
They would probably excel in break dancing,
but I could be wrong.
Hey, with those little like high kicks and backflips and shit.
I don't know.
They can do that.
One little crazy little handstand.
(04:34):
And do the little helicopter with their legs like shit.
You've seen the movie, White Chicks?
Of course you have.
Everybody has.
You know when they do the dance off,
they need to do the break dancing like that.
That would be great.
You know what would be great if they reached out to us
and said Pomona bullets, Medusa, you guys
need to be the commentators.
Yes, please.
Let's please.
Can we please?
(04:55):
That would be great.
Everybody would have a great time.
You would want to watch with us because we're great commentators.
That's right.
And we could do the worm.
We could reenact the worm.
That's the only thing I could do.
Yeah, and I could do the cabbage patch and the running man.
The same.
We just need to be in sync to do that.
And for the synchronized swimming,
we could do the synchronized worm.
Oh, shit, I love you.
(05:15):
That is so funny.
Yeah.
Girl, I saw you with your breakfast this morning.
Like, wow.
Oh, that's right.
Wow.
All these is to lay out in the sun.
I'm like, wow.
I just have you been in your hot tub?
Speaking of the hot tub.
I kind of love the fucking leak again.
(05:37):
And I know.
Yeah.
And it's just sometimes I just think to myself,
it's time for a new hot tub.
And so you had to you said again, so where was the leak?
Or did they find where the leak was before?
Yeah, the pool guy came, of course,
because I call in reinforcement.
I'm like, I don't know.
(05:58):
I can't YouTube this shit.
I don't.
Right.
I don't know.
I'm a single mom.
Come on.
Like, I can do a lot.
But this is something that I choose to pay somebody else to do.
And to like my yard.
And so the guy comes over and he's like, you know what?
Your hot tub.
He's like, it's about 15 years old.
I'm like, oh, it's working good.
(06:20):
It's clean.
It's good.
And I was like, yeah, well, you know, OK.
And he told me it was like one of these rings.
Like it's like a big ring that connects a PVC pipe or some shit.
I don't know.
But he said that the water and the chemicals and it'll crack
(06:41):
and whatever.
He fixed it.
And he said it'll be a year.
It'll be about a year.
And you're going to have to call me back or get a new hot tub.
And I said, OK, as long as the band is on there.
I don't know for now.
Yeah.
So now I'm just kind of thinking like, what the fuck?
It's what are you running for now?
(07:01):
Have you looked?
Yeah.
And I think I can get a good one for about eight grand.
Oh, shit.
They're that much.
Well, you're paying for them to remove the old shit.
Oh, OK.
That's for everything.
Yeah. That's like.
Oh, OK.
What I thought it was just for the fucking hot tub.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
I mean, I would love one of those nice, nice, nice hot tubs.
(07:25):
But I don't use it that much because organ doesn't allow me to the weather.
So I'm cool with just like the hot tub that I have.
It's OK.
Well, just do the little band aid.
Yeah, it's I liked it.
Yeah.
I'll just get another little one, like just something that doesn't make my
(07:45):
electricity bill go sky high crazy because I've been hearing from family
and friends and Kelly that you your electricity bills are freaking insane.
Of course they are.
It's fucking so Cal Edison, the biggest scammers in the world that
and do they update their infrastructure?
(08:06):
Of course not.
Girl, I had a friend tell me.
She's like, um, I don't have any kids.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
My bill was five hundred dollars this month, but I was like five hundred.
Do you have a big house or not?
Not so much.
I mean, a three bedroom, two baths.
(08:27):
Oh, it's not too bad.
She's in Rancho.
Oh, well, did she have the air on like continuously?
Probably.
I don't fucking know.
But then I have like my family.
They're like, well, our bill is only three hundred and fifty.
And I know my family is very conservative fan.
Right.
You know, whatever.
(08:48):
Me, I'm like, I keep my fucking thermostat at 67.
Um, and that's why I love you.
That would be way too high in Cali if I kept it that low.
Yeah, I just I'm like, damn, you got this.
I saw some crazy shit, but we I also have to endure.
(09:09):
Endure motherfuckers that also have their AC at probably 67, 68, 69 degrees.
And then we get power outages.
So I pull, we just break all the.
Yeah, because the infrastructure is old.
Yeah, I'm just like, wow, wow.
But I don't really mind the heat.
I just don't want to sleep like that.
(09:30):
Exactly.
And sleeping is when I need to fucking have the air on.
Yeah.
It's just like, please.
And then when I have the fans on and stuff, I was like,
this morning when I woke up, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to sound
like I have my nose plied and I'm going to dive into a pool or something.
Because it's just so horrible, horrible.
(09:53):
But yeah, you guys are you guys are bad.
What's your gas over there now?
Um, I only go to Sam's now and Sam's, I want to say was 399.
But like everywhere else is like five fucking dollars and in higher.
And I'm like, oh, I'm glad I go to Sam's.
Fuck, you guys don't have Sam's club.
Yeah. Oh, shit.
(10:14):
Do you guys have Sam's club up there?
No, no, I have to drive like 25 minutes just to get to a Costco.
Oh, and I don't and I refuse to do it.
I totally would understand that.
And it's just you and your son.
So yeah, too bad Amazon can't deliver gas.
I know, right?
(10:35):
Well, triple A can.
All right, Ellen, though.
Only I was just going to say only a gallon, not your for your entire fucking tank.
Unfortunately, they're just going to get you to the next gas station.
I have experience.
Got first hand knowledge.
Yeah, first hand knowledge, guys.
(10:55):
Yeah, first hand knowledge.
Shit. So what about what the what?
How about the fairs over there?
Because you said you were telling me earlier that
there's a bunch of county fairs.
Yes. OK, so in Southern Kelly, you know how we have,
well, at least for me and I believe for you,
it's just like L.A. County and Orange County.
(11:17):
I don't think we've gone to another.
Maybe there's San Diego.
And yeah, there's like Del Mar.
I want to say is where it's not.
But I've never been.
I don't know if you have.
But no, for the most part, it's like if I'm going to the fair,
if I want to get shot, I'm going to L.A. County.
And if I want to have a good time,
I'm probably going to go to Orange County Fair.
(11:37):
And yeah, but it's like, oh, cute.
There's she. Oh, and everything is like you can wear your kicks.
You can look on sleek and you can just walk around your garden.
Yeah, beer garden.
You go on the Tilted World or what?
Of yes. Now, over here in Oregon,
(11:59):
there's just so many fairs.
So it's like Yam County, Lane County, Benton County,
all these fucking counties.
I'm like, I don't even know.
I went to County Fair and I'm like, oh,
it's just a bunch of fucking horses and like you're you're.
It's legit a fair.
They're trying to auction off cattle.
(12:22):
It's like, I think it's what a fair is supposed to be for.
It's like you auction off pigs and you.
And and and everybody is just like, look at my chicken and.
Look at my cock. Yeah, look at my cock.
Look at my cocked dances.
I don't know.
(12:44):
I'm serious. And and don't you have to like legit like,
you if you're bougie and city slacker or flicker.
Yeah, I I'm just like, oh, my son's just like,
ah, I'm like, we're just kind of like, oh, what kind of food?
They're fair food is it's good.
(13:04):
It's the same carnival food.
But it's just insane.
It's insanely real, because I guess I've been living in the Kelly box
for a life or like, OK, so we go to the fair or we.
We let this was like years ago when we went to a fair.
(13:24):
So this year I have some co-workers and they're inviting me to go tonight
to the fair, which is probably about a 30, 35 minute drive from me.
And it's a 90s concert night.
So you know how LA Fair has concerts?
We have the horse races. We have all. Yes. Yeah.
(13:47):
And it's like bougie.
I mean, you could have prime rib while you bet on a horse or whatever.
And the concerts are like, yeah, you get seats and you're in a stadium.
Now, I don't know.
But I got invited to go to this 90s concert.
You know who's going to be the lineup?
Who? The in the blowfish?
(14:08):
Huller me bad.
Girl, OK. Huller me bad.
I've always wanted to go to one of their concerts when I was younger.
I don't know how beer bellies or what they're doing, just like Cisco.
I was just going to say, they're going to look all tired and sweaty on stage.
Girl, who even knows?
I don't even know, but it's going to be coloring me bad.
It's going to be naughty by nature.
(14:31):
Well, yeah.
Well, and they're like, well, Tretch will be there.
Yeah. Tretch still looks good.
Yes. And girl, I don't know what happened to the other two, but I'm like, OK,
I'm down with OPP. Let's go.
Who else is going?
And it's going to be.
Who else? Oh, sir, it makes a lot.
Yeah.
(14:53):
Yeah.
I was like, who's the oddest combination of 90s?
But OK.
Well, I mean, I guess these are the only people that need the money to come to Oregon
and valid fucking point.
Come on, Able, it's valid fucking point.
I was like, maybe they're going to be there.
Maybe they're going to bet on some livestock after the fact.
(15:14):
That's probably why they're there.
We were like, we need a whole hog this year.
I don't know.
Well, I can't wait to hear, I guess, the replay next week when you fill me in.
Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to go.
Oh, OK. Well, if you do go, I know, I'm such a.
(15:35):
Like sticking the mud.
Um, sometimes it's like every I have people that tell me like, you need to get out.
You need to go.
And I don't know if they're just like worried that I'm going to fall into some
like depression, like my order.
Something is like, bro, I'm not.
I'm just I'm just fucking tired of being tired.
Can I not?
Can I not sleep until 10?
(15:57):
Like, right?
I can.
Can I not?
I'm just tired.
I do everything by myself and I and I do belittle myself because I look at my house.
I'm like, oh, my gosh, I need to do more.
And I just feel like I should be instead of vacuuming and doing like the surface
(16:18):
cleaning, I'm like, I should probably move this furniture.
Now you're good.
Your house is clean.
I've been there.
Oh, you don't have the dog anymore.
So yeah.
But why the fuck is dog hair still just all over?
Yes, it's a reminder.
(16:39):
I'm just like, holy shit, new carpet for Pomona bullets.
Right. Let's go.
You should go with hardwood floors or I guess the laminate flooring.
So you don't have to do all the carpet shit.
Yeah, I probably should.
I probably should.
But then it's like, OK, we're going to be little swifter sweeper monsters here.
(17:00):
No, that's what your place is so big.
That's when you get a room and just fucking let the room do the majority of it.
And then I guess once a week, Swiffer, if you need to, does it really work?
Those little I don't know.
I'm assuming it does.
It's going to be all filled up by the time I come home.
It's going to be like, bump, bump, bump into the wall.
Right.
(17:21):
So much dog hair.
But I don't know.
It's not so much, but I hate hair.
I hate my own hair falling out or in my shower or whatnot.
I bought a new fucking showerhead, too.
OK, that didn't go well.
Well, OK, I'm like, I'm assuming there's a story behind that because you said that.
Girl. So I buy.
(17:44):
So I work at Lowes and I buy the showerhead.
And it was like, what showerhead should I get?
I want to get something that's not so
cheap where it's just going to the hard water just calcifies and does all that crap.
And it doesn't spray, right?
I don't know. There's all these showerheads that are like, well,
there's oxidation in this and it does this and it does that and it doesn't rest.
(18:07):
I mean, does this.
And I was like, OK, I'm going to spend about maybe no more than 100 bucks.
I want a good one.
OK, I buy one.
Then it says it has a little waterfall feature.
I was like, oh, that's so cute, a waterfall.
Well, that's cute.
And that's cute.
And I'm going to get this one.
(18:28):
So I get this showerhead.
It's like this seven in one.
All this and that looks good.
Everybody in the department said it is universal.
Every showerhead is universal.
And they told me to buy that little tape that goes around.
Yes. OK, I get it.
I bought that shit.
(18:50):
Like, all right.
Uh, yeah, I know it in and it works.
But it keeps spraying out of where the showerhead comes out of the wall.
And I screwed it.
It's not screwed on right then.
Well, I don't know.
And then my my pops is like, you can't screw it on to type
(19:10):
because it's going to crack that plastic shit.
And then you're going to really have a problem like, oh, well,
what do I do? Put more of that stuff in tape.
YouTube is not helping.
Like, I don't know.
But, you know what? Screw it.
I screwed it on.
It works, but it still kind of leaks just right from
(19:34):
where you put the showerhead on the new showerhead.
Right. To the little guy that comes out of the wall.
So I put the tape.
But yeah, is your hot tub guy coming back?
The maintenance guy or he already fixed your hot tub.
Well, he fixed it about a year almost two years ago.
Now, if I think about it, I need to make a phone call.
(19:57):
It well, if you if he comes by to check out your hot tub,
have him check out your fucking showerhead.
Gosh, like, hey, hey, hey, over here.
Yeah.
When you go like, while you're here, while you're here,
can you help me move this dresser?
That's an antique. Do you want a TV?
(20:19):
Yeah, no, it's not a smart TV.
It's just in my garage.
Do you want do you want anything?
Oh, my gosh. I know.
I'm so bad. I'm so bad.
I don't even know how I have friends.
I don't have friends. I have you.
Well, I love you, Pomona.
But I love you, Medusa.
So you were having a nice little leg day.
(20:44):
Yeah, this morning at the gym and then I came home and took my mom to church.
And then I'm like, oh, I guess I'll have breakfast and after breakfast,
then I'm like, oh, it's topless Sunday outside.
Let me get my fucking tan on really quick before I take a shower.
Nice. I saw what you were smoking.
Yeah, a cigar.
And I had a beer.
That was my dessert.
You like this?
Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
(21:05):
I want to do that so bad.
You got to do that in your fucking hot tub.
I'm not going to be topless.
I'm pretty sure there's some freak soids that.
Oh, well, that's because you're if you actually had like,
it's so weird that like, I guess in Oregon, like you don't have like actual brick
walls for your fucking, I guess, to free.
(21:27):
You know what I'm talking about for your fences or whatever.
Right.
It's so weird just to like look and see your next door neighbor's backyard.
I'm like, OK.
That's why I want that patio to go over.
And I'm like, I want to enclose it and just like drop some like bamboo little
like, yeah, that would look cool.
(21:47):
Yeah. It's to make it more private.
That would be private.
But who cares if I'm naked in the hot tub?
Like I want to like, I want to do a topless like I want.
I don't want.
I have fucking marks from my white wall, not wife feeders.
What do we call them now?
What was the proper term?
Oh, tank tops.
Like, I don't remember what my daughter told me.
(22:08):
I call them wife feeders.
Pretty little wife feeders.
Yep. OK. Yeah.
I have that domestic abuse beater.
I don't know. I just got out of the pinta fucking shirt.
There you go.
With my black bra. Shut up.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know. But I have that tan mark from all from your tank tops.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. OK.
(22:29):
I can have that too.
I hate that. I mean, it's not so bad, but I just missed the sun.
And I was like, you don't hate it when it's a hundred degrees here.
Fuck no, I don't hate it.
I don't hate it. It's like the sun saying hello.
Like, hello, I'm here.
Yeah. Hello, you need to fucking tan.
(22:50):
You have beautiful all of this.
Yeah, and you bitch get out there.
Right. Make it more bronze than all of the.
Yes. I just. Yeah.
And it's not a fake tan. No, I wasn't in the capital.
I was actually in the fucking sun.
I'm telling you, this is like insane.
It's insane. It's insane.
(23:11):
What's going on with your son for summer?
Is he doing more karate or he's just hanging out?
Yeah, he's hanging out.
We did.
We did a trip like to the Vegas thing, but that.
Yes. OK.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
It was good.
I'm actually going to be positive about it.
(23:32):
Like all the negatives, there's always going to be some hiccups,
but it was it was OK.
Well, other than that, he's just doing his karate, his sparring.
Yeah. And we've just been fatties.
We've been eating a lot.
And, you know, I don't eat like that much.
My my my food is my fuel.
(23:54):
I don't do that.
First lunch and dinner.
I only have a window because I do suffer from GERD and stuff.
But but, you know, sometimes when I'm depressed,
I'm depressed because I eat and I eat because I'm depressed.
I sometimes I'm just like making all kinds of stuff.
I'm like, Teriyaki bowls.
(24:15):
Let's do this.
OK, to eat that.
Yeah. I mean, honestly, if I take a gummy or something,
it's like carrot sticks or, you know, sometimes I do eat a fucking
hog and does ice cream and I regret it.
But because you're lactose and you're hilarious.
Well, you know, you could probably take those tablets or whatever they have
(24:38):
for the people who are lactose intolerant.
They take some kind of tablet or whatever before they eat.
Dairy, I want to say I could be wrong, though.
They could. Who knows?
I'll add it to my Monday fucking pill box.
Like, oh, shit.
I feel so old.
I'm just like, whoa, I'm on a bullet.
(24:59):
But but I've been like I looked at myself the other day
and I was doing some yoga and, yes,
my thighs are kind of on fire right now.
But well, good.
I but I looked at myself like, hmm, my butt doesn't look bad for being 32 years old.
(25:19):
There you go. Well, good for you.
I'm glad to hear that. Yeah.
But you're doing leg days.
I'm like, I need to start talking to you more about like, what the hell?
Put me on a regimen.
What do you? OK.
So what do you do when you do?
You are what do you do for your legs?
Then you're just doing yoga or just if you do a home?
I know you like to work out at home.
So if you just like do squats while you're watching TV and like
(25:41):
stationary lunges and going up and down your stairs, that that'll work.
Yeah, I do.
Start and that's where I'm like, my butt doesn't look so bad.
It looks pretty cute. OK.
Well, there you go.
I'm getting like little jet packs, though.
So I'm like, what the fuck is that?
What are jet packs?
Girl, you know what we used to say about the jet packs?
(26:04):
Jet packs.
Well, I don't even remember.
I remember the term jet packs, but I don't remember what it was in reference to.
OK. Remember, we used to say
Homeboy looks like he has a pack of hot dogs in the back of his head or
and then we said that there was one gal in particular.
And we used to call her jet packs because it was just like a flap.
(26:25):
Oh, that's right.
Hmm. I don't have it like that.
You know, I'm not that bad.
I stepped on the scale and I was like, damn, I'm a 141.
Fuck. I'm still trying to remember who we called jet packs.
Oh, I can't say. I think your brother or my brother was the one who came up with that name.
(26:46):
I thought we did.
Our drunken asses. Yeah, we were fucking mean.
Oh, my God, we called everybody jet packs.
I know. And we said hot dogs and we called them pack of hot.
Oh, my fucking God.
We were fucking that. I totally forgot about we're fucking mean, girl.
I'm telling you, we were like, we were like.
(27:08):
I forgot about that.
Well, get out of your jet packs.
Like, look at all the rules.
Damn. And we thought we were whispering.
They heard. Yeah, I have a really bad problem with thinking when I'm whispering.
Everybody's like, no, everybody heard what you just fucking said.
Me, too.
That's why your brother kicked us out of his house so many times.
(27:29):
He's like, get the fuck out of here, you psycho. Oh, my God.
He's like, this is my son's christening party.
Well, wrong time to have alcohol and Pomona bullets and Barogman to sit at the fucking stint. OK.
You're for brother.
(27:49):
If you listen to this, sorry, Drew, sorry.
I remember I want to say that was like, was it my?
OK, so it had to have been the younger nephew that yeah,
because I remember I want to say you were there and then I want to say the God,
my I'm sorry, my nephew, my nephew who got christened,
his godparents were there.
(28:09):
And I think that's when I got the the godmother hooked on
where I spiked her Gatorade with God,
then she ended up being really nice after that.
I knew you were so crazy.
And you're like, you didn't give a fuck.
And I was like, oh, my God, she went to the bathroom.
Stop it. You're like spiking her drink.
(28:30):
And I just remember like after the fact.
And then I came over, I guess the next whenever I went back over to my brothers
after that, he's like, look, I don't know what you fucking did to her drink,
but you need to do that every fucking time because she's so much nicer.
And I'm like, oh, I know, well, because we were nice enough to come back
the next day and help clean.
(28:52):
I was drunk. I don't remember.
But I just fucking love you because you were my sidekick from day one.
We got that party, Cronk.
That's right.
Shit, who cares if it's a six month old being Chris and all these little
oh, I still have the little there's no six.
So like golly and just you still need to send me the picture
(29:13):
that I guess Julian took of me and you at Billy's or is that because I still haven't seen it.
Girl, yes. That's that's every time you call me.
That's what shows up. I put that picture.
Can you take a screenshot and send that to me after for sure?
OK, because I'm just curious, because I'm like, man,
that's a long fucking time ago.
I'm like, I never even changed my makeup.
(29:35):
Why am I still wearing the same lipstick color?
The same because that's what you do.
The same white feeders like just different color.
I was wearing a turquoise blue one that day.
And it was just always the same.
And we're always like, but we're so kind.
We're always like, peace.
(29:57):
Once the alcohol started flowing, we were nice.
Yeah, I know until you called them the bartender moobs.
And then we get kicked out.
And I felt him up to, I don't know.
Whatever. I know.
But we went to the movies, take a nap. Yeah, right.
We had to sleep it off.
Shit.
Most expensive nap ever.
(30:18):
Drinking drive or taking nap. Yeah.
Do I want to go to court in handcuffs?
No, right.
Shit.
The movies that is good old Edwards Theater.
It's still there.
Yeah, I thought about Chili's the other day.
I'm like, man, me and Pomona bolts need to do a Chili's run together.
We do. You know what the fucked up thing is?
(30:40):
Oregon doesn't have Chili's here.
Are you serious?
My my my pops gave me.
I thought that's like a national food chain.
No, we don't have Dunkin Donuts or Chili's.
I'm like, what?
This is a food of Chris.
What? I guess major food, food restaurants or food chain
or restaurant chains, I guess that they're called.
(31:00):
Applebee's.
Oh, whatever.
Now, fuck Applebee's.
I hate Applebee's and their stupid one dollar margaritas.
Fuck you.
Like it's all margarita mix and no tequila.
It's a fucking slushie from 7-Eleven.
Right. Nothing in it.
Fucking dollar margarita.
(31:21):
Fuck off.
I don't know. I hate Applebee's, but we have Applebee's.
Like, but there's some shit here that we don't have in Kelly.
Like there's Cracker Barrel.
Yeah, I went to Cracker Barrel when I had to go when I worked in downtown
LA, they sent me to training in Chicago and they had Cracker Barrel.
I guess that's the equivalent of IHOP, maybe.
(31:42):
I guess I fucking loved it.
That's what's right. Yeah, it tastes a lot better.
They're fucking white gravy or they're creamy gravy.
Oh, my God, that shit is fucking good.
I know.
I was like, no wonder why you guys are like beast mode here.
Like, I mean, I don't know.
I would like to if I can't beat you guys, I'll join you because I'm not going
to ride the bikes.
(32:02):
I know Oregon does a lot of bike riding, but ever since Dana White said
no pelotons, I'm like, fuck the peloton.
Right. Yeah.
Not doing it.
I support my UFC.
Um, yeah, I don't know.
It's just everybody is just so beast mode.
Just just like, hey, I think the bigger your beer belly, like the hotter you are.
(32:28):
Some shit. I don't know.
Crazy. I was like, I was going to say, speaking of beast mode,
I just found out that beast mode.
Marshawn Lynch does a fucking podcast with Gavin Newsom.
And I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to have to peg you down a notch, boy, because why are you on a
(32:48):
and it's called politicking. No.
Yeah, I'm like, you know what, Marshawn, I love you, but I'm going to have
to put you down a notch because, um, yeah, absolutely not.
Oh, no, Marshawn.
Yeah, totally.
That just totally broke my heart.
I didn't have a broken heart.
(33:09):
Yeah, heartbroken is the understatement.
Second hashtag. I'm crying here.
Right.
Sat tears, not happy tears.
Yeah. What the hell? No.
That's what I said.
I'm like, all right, whatever.
I'm like, I'm going to confess something.
And I'm so big on not watching
(33:34):
garbage TV because I'm like, why am I going to get my brain cells?
Like this is like fucking like the news and stuff.
Yeah.
I'm the same, but I.
I fucking accidentally watched that.
Yeah, I did because I couldn't find my remote.
It fell between my men and I.
And I was just like, whatever, I know my TV is going to turn off.
(33:56):
And I went to sleep and it's like one of those things where,
you know, when somebody's asleep and you can whisper in their ear
and they wake up and they.
OK, so I kind of think maybe that's what TV does,
but I did wake up and I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
Why are the lights on the TV?
Like I like it.
And I was like, ah, the fucking timer didn't go off.
(34:18):
And I was like, I don't know.
And the timer didn't go off and it was like two in the morning.
And then I started watching this shit and I'm like, what?
Wow. I turn it off.
I get up, I find my remote, I dig into the mattress and everything.
I fucking find that shit and I turn it all off and I go to bed.
And then I find myself the next day.
(34:40):
Like what happened to Gino and Jasmine?
What happened with this 90 day fiance shit?
Like, what is going on?
Like, oh, was that was I've never watched that everybody.
Like you need to watch it.
And I'm like, I think I'll pass.
Yeah, girl, do not. It's a trap.
I think it was like some like a subliminal message.
It was in my head.
(35:01):
I was like, what happened to, you know, so they're going to go to a mansion.
There's a towel.
Like what is going on?
These people actually like now I'm like obsessed.
Like I need to know.
So do you, I guess, watch it then?
Well, I'm not going to like do one of those like
all day, let me catch up shit.
(35:23):
But OK, I did.
I started watching it.
I was like, whoa, whoa.
Why didn't it make me feel so much better about my life?
Like I was a little addicted.
She's just like, what?
And the girl's like this girl, she's from Panama.
She has the boobs like like all.
(35:43):
She's just her lips like everything is just she's like just, you know,
she's like a Barbie, whatever.
And she's what this dude.
And I don't know.
But I saw the the what's it called the commercial or what they when
they're trying to like promote like, oh, next, the tell all.
They're in this.
(36:03):
She's like, you need to say why you don't fuck me.
And this is not and tell them about the last
in porn search you did and they're like, OK, I was like,
oh, what did you know, search up?
I just want to know, was it like like like the big women?
(36:24):
Was it was it was it guy on guy?
Like, I need to know, you know, what are you doing?
So did he say?
I don't know. It's tonight.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
No. All right.
Well, I'm not going to watch it clearly.
Do not just fill me in next week.
I will. I don't know what's going on with these people.
But it's like, you know what?
(36:45):
Obviously, if you can't find somebody in the States,
it doesn't seem like it's going to work if you find somebody out of the states.
Like, I don't know.
Oh, yeah. Well, people are lonely.
You know what? Me included.
I'm going to wham. Maybe I should go and let me go and see if somebody
would like to spot me a cup of tea.
(37:06):
And crumpets.
And crumpets. I like chocolate cake.
We all like chocolate cake, bitch.
No.
So you got any.
So when are you going to decide if you're going to go to?
Sorry, I'm making noise.
When you're going to go to if you're going to go to the fair or not.
So that's the thing.
(37:27):
So these tickets are fifty seven dollars.
Like for a fucking fair girl for the concert.
And I'm like, do I really want to know?
Yeah, do I want to pay fifty seven dollars for a color?
We bad. Yeah.
Fucking pass, bitch.
Yeah. And like, nah, I'm sure somebody's going to put a YouTube video
(37:49):
somewhere online like, I don't know.
And that's the thing. I get this all the time.
You need to go out.
Come on, the bullets.
You need to accept these offers.
You need to stop being so well.
That's a B.
Maybe if it was like, I don't know, not color me bad.
I know. Not for fifty seven dollars.
(38:10):
I mean, yeah, please.
I just can't even imagine.
I had to GPS like, what are these guys?
I don't even know their names.
I don't know. And the singer was arrested back in the day for assaulting his wife.
So maybe that's why he's doing this tour.
And I'm like in Sir Mix a lot.
(38:31):
Bro, bro.
Maybe got back and by baby, I mean the kettle that's for sale.
Yeah, exactly.
And like, I don't know what you what like, I don't know.
I don't know if I want to pay fifty seven dollars.
I mean, yes, I was invited.
But it's one of those invites that's kind of like, let us know when you're here.
(38:51):
Like, I don't we're not sitting next to each other.
When it's not like a group event, it's just like, oh, hey,
let us know when you're here and maybe we'll find you.
So now I think you should do something that you want to do.
Sleep. Well, OK, then you fucking sleep.
No, you know what? I'm just like, I don't know.
I take your son out for dinner.
(39:13):
That that'll be like fifty seven dollars.
That'll be worth worth it.
Yeah. And that's just one ticket.
Can you imagine me and my son?
I was going to drag my son with me.
He's like, who the fuck is color me?
I know. He's like, I don't know.
I don't know what not.
Any of he knows what new kids on the block is.
And I was like, wow, that's surprising.
Yeah, because because I'm like, I don't know.
(39:35):
I will still dance to the right stuff.
I was never a new kid on the block person.
That's so weird. No, I never was.
I was in high school, I want to say when they were out.
Oh, shit. Are you? Yeah, I would never got into them.
I don't know why I just didn't.
I don't know. Well, yeah, they weren't all that.
(39:56):
But where you don't go on tour?
I know they have like a cruise line or some shit.
I'm like, oh my god, really? Yeah.
And I'm just like, I don't know.
I used to like Jordan Knight.
I need to look and see what they all look like.
The only one that I know I see all the time
is the fucking Donnie Wahlberg guy. Yeah.
(40:17):
Yeah, he's all married.
He's all wifeyed up with what's her name?
The blonde McCarthy. Yeah.
McCarthy, I'm surprised they're still fucking married, to be honest.
I thought I'm like, wow, just Hollywood marriages don't last.
So the fact that they're still fucking married, that's crazy.
I mean, this is going to be really shitty to say, but it's just facts.
(40:39):
When you have like an autistic child and stuff like, I mean,
you kind of have to settle for whoever wants to help you out.
She has an autistic child.
Yeah, I totally forgot about that.
I remember she used to talk about them all the time or she, I guess,
what's the proper word?
Not put them on a soapbox, but you know how like some celebrities,
(41:02):
like they parade their kids around and shit like that?
Yes. I don't know what the proper term is, but I shouldn't
say that she did that, but that's what it seemed like she was doing back in the day.
So but I could be wrong. I don't know.
Oh, yeah, I don't know if she was just trying to like
make awareness and maybe she was probably what she was doing.
I don't know that I misspoke, but whatever.
(41:24):
But it's just like, yeah, yeah, when you got kids like,
you have to be grown now, though, because that was like back in the day
when she was talking about them all the time.
Yeah. Wasn't she like on singled out or something back then?
Yeah, she was, I want to say.
Ah, huh. Yeah.
(41:45):
I don't. Is she actually really?
I think we talked about this before.
She's actually related to Melissa McCarthy.
Yes, I didn't think they were, but I think Melissa said they were.
But I don't think they're friendly or they don't get along or whatever,
because they never talk about each other. No.
But I think Melissa McCarthy is funny.
(42:05):
A.S. like, yes, I love her too.
I haven't seen any or I guess that she still do movies.
I know she was on that TV show for the longest and then from there,
she started doing movies, but I don't know if she's done anything lately.
Yeah, I haven't. I haven't heard anything.
But I know she's on like the, what is it, Travago commercials or something.
I don't know. Oh, well, I guess when I see that,
(42:26):
I'll have to pay attention the next time.
I'm like, OK, girl, come on, do some more throat punches.
Right. She is hilarious.
I love that lady.
That movie that she did with Jason Bateman.
Oh, my God. Identity theft.
Yeah, that's the identity theft movie.
I guess that's the name of it, too. That one was hilarious.
Oh, my gosh, I loved it.
(42:48):
She's so funny.
I like that one where she was with her mom and she got like her grandma.
What was that one called?
I don't know. There was a movie she did with Sandra Bullock, too.
Do you remember that one? Oh, yes. Yes.
That one was great. That was so funny.
Yeah. I like.
Yeah, she's she's hilarious.
(43:09):
That girl. Hmm. We could be friends.
Right. Oh, my gosh.
How hot is it supposed to hit?
It's a little bit cooler, I guess, this week.
I don't know. Like maybe a hundred.
I don't know. Yesterday was like under a hundred, which was great.
Like, I want to say it was the last week or the week before it was like fucking
(43:29):
one 10 and I was just like, I'm dying.
Shit. 110.
Yeah. So hopefully that just stays.
You know what this morning when I walked Fenway at around 4 a.m.
when I got up, it was fucking cold outside.
And I'm like, it felt like fall was coming on.
And I'm just like, and then I got in the car to go to the gym and it was 60
degrees by car red. And I'm like, why can't it just be 60 degrees every fucking morning?
(43:53):
Like, because the last couple of mornings or last week, it was like already 70 degrees
at 6 a.m. Yeah.
So I was just like, this is just not no.
Damn, I know. I don't even I don't even understand.
The other day I told you or the last time we were podcasting,
it was like pouring rain.
(44:14):
I was like, yeah, open.
I'm like, what the fuck is this?
Fuckin Hawaii. God, I know.
Where's the monsoon?
Like, geez, this is insane.
It's insane. But I was like, yes, please water my grass.
Right. So you don't have to.
It might work. Garners came and they're like, it's all fucking yellow.
(44:35):
It's like straw.
And I'm like, I don't know.
I had to conserve water.
I don't I don't even have a sprinkler system and I don't even use it.
Like, I don't know who cares. You're fine.
Yeah, it just sucks when I'm trying to lay out there.
And then it's like, oh, it's all just prickly.
And, you know, you like on the grass.
Just get a. I have a lounge chair.
(44:57):
I was just going to say lay on a lounge chair.
That's what I do.
I try to. But then there's all these wasps and and lizards.
How did you get to take?
Did you take care of the wasps on your fence or whatever?
I have a wasp trap or that.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Did it work?
Um, there's a lot of bugs in there, but not too many wasps.
But the wasps. Oh, I think they're smart.
(45:18):
They're just like, oh, shit, never mind.
I'm fucking moving.
They didn't get one there. So.
I fucking hate wasps.
That's sort of why I was like, you can sting me more than once.
Get out of here.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Oh, so they don't die after they sting like how bees do?
No. Fuck wasps.
(45:40):
I know.
Those fuckers are going to stab you up like,
like,
like, oh, this is my last attempt for life.
And then they fucking they give up.
They're like, yeah, bees are just like, ah,
you get that little stinger out and they're dead.
Once their stinger is in you and it's off their like abdomen or whatever,
(46:04):
they're dead, not wasp, not yellow jackets.
The most others are just going to sting you like if there's a swarm.
Guess what? If there's two hundred of them dead stung like fucking six times.
Everybody's going to sting you like you're dead.
You are dead.
Huh. Did not know that.
(46:24):
Yeah, they're they're they're mean.
So mean and ugly.
Just like me. I should probably like them.
All right, Pomona bullets, we're rounding up on 50 minutes.
Do you have any parting words for our listeners for the week?
I do not.
I just wish everybody a very, very productive week.
And when somebody says good morning, do not reply.
(46:47):
There's nothing good about the morning
because that's what I do.
And I think that we should just look at, hey, it's another day.
OK. And I wish everybody a good week as well.
And if you're out in the sun, just fucking stay hydrated.
I guess there you go.
Libated and hydrated. That's right.
(47:08):
There's two hands, one for water, one for alcohol.
You know, both double fist.
That's right, bitch.
All right, on that note, we are out.
Peace.
All right, are you happy or sad?
(00:02):
Which way?
Oh, I guess, oh, you're happy and you are Pomona Bullet.
I guess I'm happy.
Oh, I'm always happy, bitch.
I am Baruch Medusa.
This is Top Shelf Hi-Jinks and we click clinking, bitches.
Good day, Pomona Bullet.
(00:22):
Good day, Bestie.
Happy Fun Day Sunday.
Happy fucking Olympics Sunday.
Yes, are you watching the Olympics by chance?
Actually, I am.
I didn't realize, I guess it's on the Peacock channel.
My daughter has the app, so I'm watching the USA Germany game.
(00:43):
Soccer, women's soccer, I should say, sorry.
Shoot, I don't know if it's live
because I thought I had to get an app to watch it.
And then Dish was like, no, you could get the app,
but here it is.
So I was watching some basketball and I was like, oh, France.
France and somebody else.
These guys are short.
They're short.
(01:03):
Oh, really?
Yeah, and I was like, I don't know because I think,
is our basketball team, does it consist of our players?
Like, yeah.
I guess from the NBA, if they're, I guess,
born and raised in, I guess, America.
Because I know there's some basketball players that are NBA
and they're playing for, I guess, whatever,
(01:23):
I guess, country they're from.
Oh, yeah.
And I want to say, I talked to one of my friends
and he said that I want to say American basketball for men.
I don't even know if the women are playing,
but the men, I think, is Wednesday is what he said.
So I'm like, oh, OK.
Yeah, I'm probably watching some reruns.
(01:43):
I don't know, but you're right.
I'm assuming, oh, it does say live on my screen.
I'm like, I don't even know if this is live, but it says live.
So OK, I guess that's.
Mine says recorded previously.
OK, well, there you have it.
I guess I don't even know when it started.
I have been a fan when I was a kid.
I kind of just jumped off the bandwagon
(02:05):
for many, many years, actually.
Same.
And I just wait for Yahoo to email me and say,
this is the latest.
I'm like, OK, Yahoo, I believe everything you say.
Right.
Yeah, I thought the Olympics started maybe two weeks ago
because I kept getting or I keep seeing these things on Instagram
and Twitter and just on my newsfeed.
And I'm like, and then I see Snoop on, I think it was Friday
(02:28):
with the torch.
And I'm like, oh, I guess it wasn't the Olympics two weeks ago.
I was like, did you run out with the torch?
I heard it was him and Selma Hayek.
Of course you have one.
And I want to say Martha Stewart.
I don't know, Martha Stewart.
I saw Martha Stewart say Stewart.
Excuse me.
I can't say her fricking name.
Martha Stewart.
I don't know if she had the torch or she was just there
(02:49):
is from what she was being interviewed by somebody.
So I don't know.
That's insane.
I thought Martha.
I don't know what the hell I was watching.
But I saw Snoop.
I guess he was like a commentator or he was.
Is he like the appointed commentator for the Olympics?
I don't know.
I haven't.
The only stuff I've seen on him on social media
(03:11):
was with him with the torch.
I guess I guess the lit torch.
So man, you know, clearly it wasn't a blunt.
Yeah, he made it.
He's all lighting his blunt with the torch running out there.
That would be great.
That would be epic.
I'd watch that.
Same.
(03:31):
Same.
I want to watch.
Yeah.
Let's go, Snoop.
Let's go.
That's insane.
I don't understand.
Because everybody has been telling me.
They're just like, I can't believe there's
going to be the break dancing.
In Olympics.
(03:51):
I think that's the best part, at least for me and you.
I think so.
I think so.
I think that these little break dancers,
I can't wait to see what the other countries are bringing.
I'm saying it's going to be legit.
It's going to be legit.
Like I think we talked about this offline or whatever.
(04:11):
But I want to say Japan.
I call Japan or I guess like South Korea or like the K-pop.
Yeah, South Korea.
They would probably excel in break dancing,
but I could be wrong.
Hey, with those little like high kicks and backflips and shit.
I don't know.
They can do that.
One little crazy little handstand.
(04:34):
And do the little helicopter with their legs like shit.
You've seen the movie, White Chicks?
Of course you have.
Everybody has.
You know when they do the dance off,
they need to do the break dancing like that.
That would be great.
You know what would be great if they reached out to us
and said Pomona bullets, Medusa, you guys
need to be the commentators.
Yes, please.
Let's please.
Can we please?
(04:55):
That would be great.
Everybody would have a great time.
You would want to watch with us because we're great commentators.
That's right.
And we could do the worm.
We could reenact the worm.
That's the only thing I could do.
Yeah, and I could do the cabbage patch and the running man.
The same.
We just need to be in sync to do that.
And for the synchronized swimming,
we could do the synchronized worm.
Oh, shit, I love you.
(05:15):
That is so funny.
Yeah.
Girl, I saw you with your breakfast this morning.
Like, wow.
Oh, that's right.
Wow.
All these is to lay out in the sun.
I'm like, wow.
I just have you been in your hot tub?
Speaking of the hot tub.
I kind of love the fucking leak again.
(05:37):
And I know.
Yeah.
And it's just sometimes I just think to myself,
it's time for a new hot tub.
And so you had to you said again, so where was the leak?
Or did they find where the leak was before?
Yeah, the pool guy came, of course,
because I call in reinforcement.
I'm like, I don't know.
(05:58):
I can't YouTube this shit.
I don't.
Right.
I don't know.
I'm a single mom.
Come on.
Like, I can do a lot.
But this is something that I choose to pay somebody else to do.
And to like my yard.
And so the guy comes over and he's like, you know what?
Your hot tub.
He's like, it's about 15 years old.
I'm like, oh, it's working good.
(06:20):
It's clean.
It's good.
And I was like, yeah, well, you know, OK.
And he told me it was like one of these rings.
Like it's like a big ring that connects a PVC pipe or some shit.
I don't know.
But he said that the water and the chemicals and it'll crack
(06:41):
and whatever.
He fixed it.
And he said it'll be a year.
It'll be about a year.
And you're going to have to call me back or get a new hot tub.
And I said, OK, as long as the band is on there.
I don't know for now.
Yeah.
So now I'm just kind of thinking like, what the fuck?
It's what are you running for now?
(07:01):
Have you looked?
Yeah.
And I think I can get a good one for about eight grand.
Oh, shit.
They're that much.
Well, you're paying for them to remove the old shit.
Oh, OK.
That's for everything.
Yeah. That's like.
Oh, OK.
What I thought it was just for the fucking hot tub.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
I mean, I would love one of those nice, nice, nice hot tubs.
(07:25):
But I don't use it that much because organ doesn't allow me to the weather.
So I'm cool with just like the hot tub that I have.
It's OK.
Well, just do the little band aid.
Yeah, it's I liked it.
Yeah.
I'll just get another little one, like just something that doesn't make my
(07:45):
electricity bill go sky high crazy because I've been hearing from family
and friends and Kelly that you your electricity bills are freaking insane.
Of course they are.
It's fucking so Cal Edison, the biggest scammers in the world that
and do they update their infrastructure?
(08:06):
Of course not.
Girl, I had a friend tell me.
She's like, um, I don't have any kids.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
My bill was five hundred dollars this month, but I was like five hundred.
Do you have a big house or not?
Not so much.
I mean, a three bedroom, two baths.
(08:27):
Oh, it's not too bad.
She's in Rancho.
Oh, well, did she have the air on like continuously?
Probably.
I don't fucking know.
But then I have like my family.
They're like, well, our bill is only three hundred and fifty.
And I know my family is very conservative fan.
Right.
You know, whatever.
(08:48):
Me, I'm like, I keep my fucking thermostat at 67.
Um, and that's why I love you.
That would be way too high in Cali if I kept it that low.
Yeah, I just I'm like, damn, you got this.
I saw some crazy shit, but we I also have to endure.
(09:09):
Endure motherfuckers that also have their AC at probably 67, 68, 69 degrees.
And then we get power outages.
So I pull, we just break all the.
Yeah, because the infrastructure is old.
Yeah, I'm just like, wow, wow.
But I don't really mind the heat.
I just don't want to sleep like that.
(09:30):
Exactly.
And sleeping is when I need to fucking have the air on.
Yeah.
It's just like, please.
And then when I have the fans on and stuff, I was like,
this morning when I woke up, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to sound
like I have my nose plied and I'm going to dive into a pool or something.
Because it's just so horrible, horrible.
(09:53):
But yeah, you guys are you guys are bad.
What's your gas over there now?
Um, I only go to Sam's now and Sam's, I want to say was 399.
But like everywhere else is like five fucking dollars and in higher.
And I'm like, oh, I'm glad I go to Sam's.
Fuck, you guys don't have Sam's club.
Yeah. Oh, shit.
(10:14):
Do you guys have Sam's club up there?
No, no, I have to drive like 25 minutes just to get to a Costco.
Oh, and I don't and I refuse to do it.
I totally would understand that.
And it's just you and your son.
So yeah, too bad Amazon can't deliver gas.
I know, right?
(10:35):
Well, triple A can.
All right, Ellen, though.
Only I was just going to say only a gallon, not your for your entire fucking tank.
Unfortunately, they're just going to get you to the next gas station.
I have experience.
Got first hand knowledge.
Yeah, first hand knowledge, guys.
(10:55):
Yeah, first hand knowledge.
Shit. So what about what the what?
How about the fairs over there?
Because you said you were telling me earlier that
there's a bunch of county fairs.
Yes. OK, so in Southern Kelly, you know how we have,
well, at least for me and I believe for you,
it's just like L.A. County and Orange County.
(11:17):
I don't think we've gone to another.
Maybe there's San Diego.
And yeah, there's like Del Mar.
I want to say is where it's not.
But I've never been.
I don't know if you have.
But no, for the most part, it's like if I'm going to the fair,
if I want to get shot, I'm going to L.A. County.
And if I want to have a good time,
I'm probably going to go to Orange County Fair.
(11:37):
And yeah, but it's like, oh, cute.
There's she. Oh, and everything is like you can wear your kicks.
You can look on sleek and you can just walk around your garden.
Yeah, beer garden.
You go on the Tilted World or what?
Of yes. Now, over here in Oregon,
(11:59):
there's just so many fairs.
So it's like Yam County, Lane County, Benton County,
all these fucking counties.
I'm like, I don't even know.
I went to County Fair and I'm like, oh,
it's just a bunch of fucking horses and like you're you're.
It's legit a fair.
They're trying to auction off cattle.
(12:22):
It's like, I think it's what a fair is supposed to be for.
It's like you auction off pigs and you.
And and and everybody is just like, look at my chicken and.
Look at my cock. Yeah, look at my cock.
Look at my cocked dances.
I don't know.
(12:44):
I'm serious. And and don't you have to like legit like,
you if you're bougie and city slacker or flicker.
Yeah, I I'm just like, oh, my son's just like,
ah, I'm like, we're just kind of like, oh, what kind of food?
They're fair food is it's good.
(13:04):
It's the same carnival food.
But it's just insane.
It's insanely real, because I guess I've been living in the Kelly box
for a life or like, OK, so we go to the fair or we.
We let this was like years ago when we went to a fair.
(13:24):
So this year I have some co-workers and they're inviting me to go tonight
to the fair, which is probably about a 30, 35 minute drive from me.
And it's a 90s concert night.
So you know how LA Fair has concerts?
We have the horse races. We have all. Yes. Yeah.
(13:47):
And it's like bougie.
I mean, you could have prime rib while you bet on a horse or whatever.
And the concerts are like, yeah, you get seats and you're in a stadium.
Now, I don't know.
But I got invited to go to this 90s concert.
You know who's going to be the lineup?
Who? The in the blowfish?
(14:08):
Huller me bad.
Girl, OK. Huller me bad.
I've always wanted to go to one of their concerts when I was younger.
I don't know how beer bellies or what they're doing, just like Cisco.
I was just going to say, they're going to look all tired and sweaty on stage.
Girl, who even knows?
I don't even know, but it's going to be coloring me bad.
It's going to be naughty by nature.
(14:31):
Well, yeah.
Well, and they're like, well, Tretch will be there.
Yeah. Tretch still looks good.
Yes. And girl, I don't know what happened to the other two, but I'm like, OK,
I'm down with OPP. Let's go.
Who else is going?
And it's going to be.
Who else? Oh, sir, it makes a lot.
Yeah.
(14:53):
Yeah.
I was like, who's the oddest combination of 90s?
But OK.
Well, I mean, I guess these are the only people that need the money to come to Oregon
and valid fucking point.
Come on, Able, it's valid fucking point.
I was like, maybe they're going to be there.
Maybe they're going to bet on some livestock after the fact.
(15:14):
That's probably why they're there.
We were like, we need a whole hog this year.
I don't know.
Well, I can't wait to hear, I guess, the replay next week when you fill me in.
Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to go.
Oh, OK. Well, if you do go, I know, I'm such a.
(15:35):
Like sticking the mud.
Um, sometimes it's like every I have people that tell me like, you need to get out.
You need to go.
And I don't know if they're just like worried that I'm going to fall into some
like depression, like my order.
Something is like, bro, I'm not.
I'm just I'm just fucking tired of being tired.
Can I not?
Can I not sleep until 10?
(15:57):
Like, right?
I can.
Can I not?
I'm just tired.
I do everything by myself and I and I do belittle myself because I look at my house.
I'm like, oh, my gosh, I need to do more.
And I just feel like I should be instead of vacuuming and doing like the surface
(16:18):
cleaning, I'm like, I should probably move this furniture.
Now you're good.
Your house is clean.
I've been there.
Oh, you don't have the dog anymore.
So yeah.
But why the fuck is dog hair still just all over?
Yes, it's a reminder.
(16:39):
I'm just like, holy shit, new carpet for Pomona bullets.
Right. Let's go.
You should go with hardwood floors or I guess the laminate flooring.
So you don't have to do all the carpet shit.
Yeah, I probably should.
I probably should.
But then it's like, OK, we're going to be little swifter sweeper monsters here.
(17:00):
No, that's what your place is so big.
That's when you get a room and just fucking let the room do the majority of it.
And then I guess once a week, Swiffer, if you need to, does it really work?
Those little I don't know.
I'm assuming it does.
It's going to be all filled up by the time I come home.
It's going to be like, bump, bump, bump into the wall.
Right.
(17:21):
So much dog hair.
But I don't know.
It's not so much, but I hate hair.
I hate my own hair falling out or in my shower or whatnot.
I bought a new fucking showerhead, too.
OK, that didn't go well.
Well, OK, I'm like, I'm assuming there's a story behind that because you said that.
Girl. So I buy.
(17:44):
So I work at Lowes and I buy the showerhead.
And it was like, what showerhead should I get?
I want to get something that's not so
cheap where it's just going to the hard water just calcifies and does all that crap.
And it doesn't spray, right?
I don't know. There's all these showerheads that are like, well,
there's oxidation in this and it does this and it does that and it doesn't rest.
(18:07):
I mean, does this.
And I was like, OK, I'm going to spend about maybe no more than 100 bucks.
I want a good one.
OK, I buy one.
Then it says it has a little waterfall feature.
I was like, oh, that's so cute, a waterfall.
Well, that's cute.
And that's cute.
And I'm going to get this one.
(18:28):
So I get this showerhead.
It's like this seven in one.
All this and that looks good.
Everybody in the department said it is universal.
Every showerhead is universal.
And they told me to buy that little tape that goes around.
Yes. OK, I get it.
I bought that shit.
(18:50):
Like, all right.
Uh, yeah, I know it in and it works.
But it keeps spraying out of where the showerhead comes out of the wall.
And I screwed it.
It's not screwed on right then.
Well, I don't know.
And then my my pops is like, you can't screw it on to type
(19:10):
because it's going to crack that plastic shit.
And then you're going to really have a problem like, oh, well,
what do I do? Put more of that stuff in tape.
YouTube is not helping.
Like, I don't know.
But, you know what? Screw it.
I screwed it on.
It works, but it still kind of leaks just right from
(19:34):
where you put the showerhead on the new showerhead.
Right. To the little guy that comes out of the wall.
So I put the tape.
But yeah, is your hot tub guy coming back?
The maintenance guy or he already fixed your hot tub.
Well, he fixed it about a year almost two years ago.
Now, if I think about it, I need to make a phone call.
(19:57):
It well, if you if he comes by to check out your hot tub,
have him check out your fucking showerhead.
Gosh, like, hey, hey, hey, over here.
Yeah.
When you go like, while you're here, while you're here,
can you help me move this dresser?
That's an antique. Do you want a TV?
(20:19):
Yeah, no, it's not a smart TV.
It's just in my garage.
Do you want do you want anything?
Oh, my gosh. I know.
I'm so bad. I'm so bad.
I don't even know how I have friends.
I don't have friends. I have you.
Well, I love you, Pomona.
But I love you, Medusa.
So you were having a nice little leg day.
(20:44):
Yeah, this morning at the gym and then I came home and took my mom to church.
And then I'm like, oh, I guess I'll have breakfast and after breakfast,
then I'm like, oh, it's topless Sunday outside.
Let me get my fucking tan on really quick before I take a shower.
Nice. I saw what you were smoking.
Yeah, a cigar.
And I had a beer.
That was my dessert.
You like this?
Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
(21:05):
I want to do that so bad.
You got to do that in your fucking hot tub.
I'm not going to be topless.
I'm pretty sure there's some freak soids that.
Oh, well, that's because you're if you actually had like,
it's so weird that like, I guess in Oregon, like you don't have like actual brick
walls for your fucking, I guess, to free.
(21:27):
You know what I'm talking about for your fences or whatever.
Right.
It's so weird just to like look and see your next door neighbor's backyard.
I'm like, OK.
That's why I want that patio to go over.
And I'm like, I want to enclose it and just like drop some like bamboo little
like, yeah, that would look cool.
(21:47):
Yeah. It's to make it more private.
That would be private.
But who cares if I'm naked in the hot tub?
Like I want to like, I want to do a topless like I want.
I don't want.
I have fucking marks from my white wall, not wife feeders.
What do we call them now?
What was the proper term?
Oh, tank tops.
Like, I don't remember what my daughter told me.
(22:08):
I call them wife feeders.
Pretty little wife feeders.
Yep. OK. Yeah.
I have that domestic abuse beater.
I don't know. I just got out of the pinta fucking shirt.
There you go.
With my black bra. Shut up.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know. But I have that tan mark from all from your tank tops.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. OK.
(22:29):
I can have that too.
I hate that. I mean, it's not so bad, but I just missed the sun.
And I was like, you don't hate it when it's a hundred degrees here.
Fuck no, I don't hate it.
I don't hate it. It's like the sun saying hello.
Like, hello, I'm here.
Yeah. Hello, you need to fucking tan.
(22:50):
You have beautiful all of this.
Yeah, and you bitch get out there.
Right. Make it more bronze than all of the.
Yes. I just. Yeah.
And it's not a fake tan. No, I wasn't in the capital.
I was actually in the fucking sun.
I'm telling you, this is like insane.
It's insane. It's insane.
(23:11):
What's going on with your son for summer?
Is he doing more karate or he's just hanging out?
Yeah, he's hanging out.
We did.
We did a trip like to the Vegas thing, but that.
Yes. OK.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
It was good.
I'm actually going to be positive about it.
(23:32):
Like all the negatives, there's always going to be some hiccups,
but it was it was OK.
Well, other than that, he's just doing his karate, his sparring.
Yeah. And we've just been fatties.
We've been eating a lot.
And, you know, I don't eat like that much.
My my my food is my fuel.
(23:54):
I don't do that.
First lunch and dinner.
I only have a window because I do suffer from GERD and stuff.
But but, you know, sometimes when I'm depressed,
I'm depressed because I eat and I eat because I'm depressed.
I sometimes I'm just like making all kinds of stuff.
I'm like, Teriyaki bowls.
(24:15):
Let's do this.
OK, to eat that.
Yeah. I mean, honestly, if I take a gummy or something,
it's like carrot sticks or, you know, sometimes I do eat a fucking
hog and does ice cream and I regret it.
But because you're lactose and you're hilarious.
Well, you know, you could probably take those tablets or whatever they have
(24:38):
for the people who are lactose intolerant.
They take some kind of tablet or whatever before they eat.
Dairy, I want to say I could be wrong, though.
They could. Who knows?
I'll add it to my Monday fucking pill box.
Like, oh, shit.
I feel so old.
I'm just like, whoa, I'm on a bullet.
(24:59):
But but I've been like I looked at myself the other day
and I was doing some yoga and, yes,
my thighs are kind of on fire right now.
But well, good.
I but I looked at myself like, hmm, my butt doesn't look bad for being 32 years old.
(25:19):
There you go. Well, good for you.
I'm glad to hear that. Yeah.
But you're doing leg days.
I'm like, I need to start talking to you more about like, what the hell?
Put me on a regimen.
What do you? OK.
So what do you do when you do?
You are what do you do for your legs?
Then you're just doing yoga or just if you do a home?
I know you like to work out at home.
So if you just like do squats while you're watching TV and like
(25:41):
stationary lunges and going up and down your stairs, that that'll work.
Yeah, I do.
Start and that's where I'm like, my butt doesn't look so bad.
It looks pretty cute. OK.
Well, there you go.
I'm getting like little jet packs, though.
So I'm like, what the fuck is that?
What are jet packs?
Girl, you know what we used to say about the jet packs?
(26:04):
Jet packs.
Well, I don't even remember.
I remember the term jet packs, but I don't remember what it was in reference to.
OK. Remember, we used to say
Homeboy looks like he has a pack of hot dogs in the back of his head or
and then we said that there was one gal in particular.
And we used to call her jet packs because it was just like a flap.
(26:25):
Oh, that's right.
Hmm. I don't have it like that.
You know, I'm not that bad.
I stepped on the scale and I was like, damn, I'm a 141.
Fuck. I'm still trying to remember who we called jet packs.
Oh, I can't say. I think your brother or my brother was the one who came up with that name.
(26:46):
I thought we did.
Our drunken asses. Yeah, we were fucking mean.
Oh, my God, we called everybody jet packs.
I know. And we said hot dogs and we called them pack of hot.
Oh, my fucking God.
We were fucking that. I totally forgot about we're fucking mean, girl.
I'm telling you, we were like, we were like.
(27:08):
I forgot about that.
Well, get out of your jet packs.
Like, look at all the rules.
Damn. And we thought we were whispering.
They heard. Yeah, I have a really bad problem with thinking when I'm whispering.
Everybody's like, no, everybody heard what you just fucking said.
Me, too.
That's why your brother kicked us out of his house so many times.
(27:29):
He's like, get the fuck out of here, you psycho. Oh, my God.
He's like, this is my son's christening party.
Well, wrong time to have alcohol and Pomona bullets and Barogman to sit at the fucking stint. OK.
You're for brother.
(27:49):
If you listen to this, sorry, Drew, sorry.
I remember I want to say that was like, was it my?
OK, so it had to have been the younger nephew that yeah,
because I remember I want to say you were there and then I want to say the God,
my I'm sorry, my nephew, my nephew who got christened,
his godparents were there.
(28:09):
And I think that's when I got the the godmother hooked on
where I spiked her Gatorade with God,
then she ended up being really nice after that.
I knew you were so crazy.
And you're like, you didn't give a fuck.
And I was like, oh, my God, she went to the bathroom.
Stop it. You're like spiking her drink.
(28:30):
And I just remember like after the fact.
And then I came over, I guess the next whenever I went back over to my brothers
after that, he's like, look, I don't know what you fucking did to her drink,
but you need to do that every fucking time because she's so much nicer.
And I'm like, oh, I know, well, because we were nice enough to come back
the next day and help clean.
(28:52):
I was drunk. I don't remember.
But I just fucking love you because you were my sidekick from day one.
We got that party, Cronk.
That's right.
Shit, who cares if it's a six month old being Chris and all these little
oh, I still have the little there's no six.
So like golly and just you still need to send me the picture
(29:13):
that I guess Julian took of me and you at Billy's or is that because I still haven't seen it.
Girl, yes. That's that's every time you call me.
That's what shows up. I put that picture.
Can you take a screenshot and send that to me after for sure?
OK, because I'm just curious, because I'm like, man,
that's a long fucking time ago.
I'm like, I never even changed my makeup.
(29:35):
Why am I still wearing the same lipstick color?
The same because that's what you do.
The same white feeders like just different color.
I was wearing a turquoise blue one that day.
And it was just always the same.
And we're always like, but we're so kind.
We're always like, peace.
(29:57):
Once the alcohol started flowing, we were nice.
Yeah, I know until you called them the bartender moobs.
And then we get kicked out.
And I felt him up to, I don't know.
Whatever. I know.
But we went to the movies, take a nap. Yeah, right.
We had to sleep it off.
Shit.
Most expensive nap ever.
(30:18):
Drinking drive or taking nap. Yeah.
Do I want to go to court in handcuffs?
No, right.
Shit.
The movies that is good old Edwards Theater.
It's still there.
Yeah, I thought about Chili's the other day.
I'm like, man, me and Pomona bolts need to do a Chili's run together.
We do. You know what the fucked up thing is?
(30:40):
Oregon doesn't have Chili's here.
Are you serious?
My my my pops gave me.
I thought that's like a national food chain.
No, we don't have Dunkin Donuts or Chili's.
I'm like, what?
This is a food of Chris.
What? I guess major food, food restaurants or food chain
or restaurant chains, I guess that they're called.
(31:00):
Applebee's.
Oh, whatever.
Now, fuck Applebee's.
I hate Applebee's and their stupid one dollar margaritas.
Fuck you.
Like it's all margarita mix and no tequila.
It's a fucking slushie from 7-Eleven.
Right. Nothing in it.
Fucking dollar margarita.
(31:21):
Fuck off.
I don't know. I hate Applebee's, but we have Applebee's.
Like, but there's some shit here that we don't have in Kelly.
Like there's Cracker Barrel.
Yeah, I went to Cracker Barrel when I had to go when I worked in downtown
LA, they sent me to training in Chicago and they had Cracker Barrel.
I guess that's the equivalent of IHOP, maybe.
(31:42):
I guess I fucking loved it.
That's what's right. Yeah, it tastes a lot better.
They're fucking white gravy or they're creamy gravy.
Oh, my God, that shit is fucking good.
I know.
I was like, no wonder why you guys are like beast mode here.
Like, I mean, I don't know.
I would like to if I can't beat you guys, I'll join you because I'm not going
to ride the bikes.
(32:02):
I know Oregon does a lot of bike riding, but ever since Dana White said
no pelotons, I'm like, fuck the peloton.
Right. Yeah.
Not doing it.
I support my UFC.
Um, yeah, I don't know.
It's just everybody is just so beast mode.
Just just like, hey, I think the bigger your beer belly, like the hotter you are.
(32:28):
Some shit. I don't know.
Crazy. I was like, I was going to say, speaking of beast mode,
I just found out that beast mode.
Marshawn Lynch does a fucking podcast with Gavin Newsom.
And I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to have to peg you down a notch, boy, because why are you on a
(32:48):
and it's called politicking. No.
Yeah, I'm like, you know what, Marshawn, I love you, but I'm going to have
to put you down a notch because, um, yeah, absolutely not.
Oh, no, Marshawn.
Yeah, totally.
That just totally broke my heart.
I didn't have a broken heart.
(33:09):
Yeah, heartbroken is the understatement.
Second hashtag. I'm crying here.
Right.
Sat tears, not happy tears.
Yeah. What the hell? No.
That's what I said.
I'm like, all right, whatever.
I'm like, I'm going to confess something.
And I'm so big on not watching
(33:34):
garbage TV because I'm like, why am I going to get my brain cells?
Like this is like fucking like the news and stuff.
Yeah.
I'm the same, but I.
I fucking accidentally watched that.
Yeah, I did because I couldn't find my remote.
It fell between my men and I.
And I was just like, whatever, I know my TV is going to turn off.
(33:56):
And I went to sleep and it's like one of those things where,
you know, when somebody's asleep and you can whisper in their ear
and they wake up and they.
OK, so I kind of think maybe that's what TV does,
but I did wake up and I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
Why are the lights on the TV?
Like I like it.
And I was like, ah, the fucking timer didn't go off.
(34:18):
And I was like, I don't know.
And the timer didn't go off and it was like two in the morning.
And then I started watching this shit and I'm like, what?
Wow. I turn it off.
I get up, I find my remote, I dig into the mattress and everything.
I fucking find that shit and I turn it all off and I go to bed.
And then I find myself the next day.
(34:40):
Like what happened to Gino and Jasmine?
What happened with this 90 day fiance shit?
Like, what is going on?
Like, oh, was that was I've never watched that everybody.
Like you need to watch it.
And I'm like, I think I'll pass.
Yeah, girl, do not. It's a trap.
I think it was like some like a subliminal message.
It was in my head.
(35:01):
I was like, what happened to, you know, so they're going to go to a mansion.
There's a towel.
Like what is going on?
These people actually like now I'm like obsessed.
Like I need to know.
So do you, I guess, watch it then?
Well, I'm not going to like do one of those like
all day, let me catch up shit.
(35:23):
But OK, I did.
I started watching it.
I was like, whoa, whoa.
Why didn't it make me feel so much better about my life?
Like I was a little addicted.
She's just like, what?
And the girl's like this girl, she's from Panama.
She has the boobs like like all.
(35:43):
She's just her lips like everything is just she's like just, you know,
she's like a Barbie, whatever.
And she's what this dude.
And I don't know.
But I saw the the what's it called the commercial or what they when
they're trying to like promote like, oh, next, the tell all.
They're in this.
(36:03):
She's like, you need to say why you don't fuck me.
And this is not and tell them about the last
in porn search you did and they're like, OK, I was like,
oh, what did you know, search up?
I just want to know, was it like like like the big women?
(36:24):
Was it was it was it guy on guy?
Like, I need to know, you know, what are you doing?
So did he say?
I don't know. It's tonight.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
No. All right.
Well, I'm not going to watch it clearly.
Do not just fill me in next week.
I will. I don't know what's going on with these people.
But it's like, you know what?
(36:45):
Obviously, if you can't find somebody in the States,
it doesn't seem like it's going to work if you find somebody out of the states.
Like, I don't know.
Oh, yeah. Well, people are lonely.
You know what? Me included.
I'm going to wham. Maybe I should go and let me go and see if somebody
would like to spot me a cup of tea.
(37:06):
And crumpets.
And crumpets. I like chocolate cake.
We all like chocolate cake, bitch.
No.
So you got any.
So when are you going to decide if you're going to go to?
Sorry, I'm making noise.
When you're going to go to if you're going to go to the fair or not.
So that's the thing.
(37:27):
So these tickets are fifty seven dollars.
Like for a fucking fair girl for the concert.
And I'm like, do I really want to know?
Yeah, do I want to pay fifty seven dollars for a color?
We bad. Yeah.
Fucking pass, bitch.
Yeah. And like, nah, I'm sure somebody's going to put a YouTube video
(37:49):
somewhere online like, I don't know.
And that's the thing. I get this all the time.
You need to go out.
Come on, the bullets.
You need to accept these offers.
You need to stop being so well.
That's a B.
Maybe if it was like, I don't know, not color me bad.
I know. Not for fifty seven dollars.
(38:10):
I mean, yeah, please.
I just can't even imagine.
I had to GPS like, what are these guys?
I don't even know their names.
I don't know. And the singer was arrested back in the day for assaulting his wife.
So maybe that's why he's doing this tour.
And I'm like in Sir Mix a lot.
(38:31):
Bro, bro.
Maybe got back and by baby, I mean the kettle that's for sale.
Yeah, exactly.
And like, I don't know what you what like, I don't know.
I don't know if I want to pay fifty seven dollars.
I mean, yes, I was invited.
But it's one of those invites that's kind of like, let us know when you're here.
(38:51):
Like, I don't we're not sitting next to each other.
When it's not like a group event, it's just like, oh, hey,
let us know when you're here and maybe we'll find you.
So now I think you should do something that you want to do.
Sleep. Well, OK, then you fucking sleep.
No, you know what? I'm just like, I don't know.
I take your son out for dinner.
(39:13):
That that'll be like fifty seven dollars.
That'll be worth worth it.
Yeah. And that's just one ticket.
Can you imagine me and my son?
I was going to drag my son with me.
He's like, who the fuck is color me?
I know. He's like, I don't know.
I don't know what not.
Any of he knows what new kids on the block is.
And I was like, wow, that's surprising.
Yeah, because because I'm like, I don't know.
(39:35):
I will still dance to the right stuff.
I was never a new kid on the block person.
That's so weird. No, I never was.
I was in high school, I want to say when they were out.
Oh, shit. Are you? Yeah, I would never got into them.
I don't know why I just didn't.
I don't know. Well, yeah, they weren't all that.
(39:56):
But where you don't go on tour?
I know they have like a cruise line or some shit.
I'm like, oh my god, really? Yeah.
And I'm just like, I don't know.
I used to like Jordan Knight.
I need to look and see what they all look like.
The only one that I know I see all the time
is the fucking Donnie Wahlberg guy. Yeah.
(40:17):
Yeah, he's all married.
He's all wifeyed up with what's her name?
The blonde McCarthy. Yeah.
McCarthy, I'm surprised they're still fucking married, to be honest.
I thought I'm like, wow, just Hollywood marriages don't last.
So the fact that they're still fucking married, that's crazy.
I mean, this is going to be really shitty to say, but it's just facts.
(40:39):
When you have like an autistic child and stuff like, I mean,
you kind of have to settle for whoever wants to help you out.
She has an autistic child.
Yeah, I totally forgot about that.
I remember she used to talk about them all the time or she, I guess,
what's the proper word?
Not put them on a soapbox, but you know how like some celebrities,
(41:02):
like they parade their kids around and shit like that?
Yes. I don't know what the proper term is, but I shouldn't
say that she did that, but that's what it seemed like she was doing back in the day.
So but I could be wrong. I don't know.
Oh, yeah, I don't know if she was just trying to like
make awareness and maybe she was probably what she was doing.
I don't know that I misspoke, but whatever.
(41:24):
But it's just like, yeah, yeah, when you got kids like,
you have to be grown now, though, because that was like back in the day
when she was talking about them all the time.
Yeah. Wasn't she like on singled out or something back then?
Yeah, she was, I want to say.
Ah, huh. Yeah.
(41:45):
I don't. Is she actually really?
I think we talked about this before.
She's actually related to Melissa McCarthy.
Yes, I didn't think they were, but I think Melissa said they were.
But I don't think they're friendly or they don't get along or whatever,
because they never talk about each other. No.
But I think Melissa McCarthy is funny.
(42:05):
A.S. like, yes, I love her too.
I haven't seen any or I guess that she still do movies.
I know she was on that TV show for the longest and then from there,
she started doing movies, but I don't know if she's done anything lately.
Yeah, I haven't. I haven't heard anything.
But I know she's on like the, what is it, Travago commercials or something.
I don't know. Oh, well, I guess when I see that,
(42:26):
I'll have to pay attention the next time.
I'm like, OK, girl, come on, do some more throat punches.
Right. She is hilarious.
I love that lady.
That movie that she did with Jason Bateman.
Oh, my God. Identity theft.
Yeah, that's the identity theft movie.
I guess that's the name of it, too. That one was hilarious.
Oh, my gosh, I loved it.
(42:48):
She's so funny.
I like that one where she was with her mom and she got like her grandma.
What was that one called?
I don't know. There was a movie she did with Sandra Bullock, too.
Do you remember that one? Oh, yes. Yes.
That one was great. That was so funny.
Yeah. I like.
Yeah, she's she's hilarious.
(43:09):
That girl. Hmm. We could be friends.
Right. Oh, my gosh.
How hot is it supposed to hit?
It's a little bit cooler, I guess, this week.
I don't know. Like maybe a hundred.
I don't know. Yesterday was like under a hundred, which was great.
Like, I want to say it was the last week or the week before it was like fucking
(43:29):
one 10 and I was just like, I'm dying.
Shit. 110.
Yeah. So hopefully that just stays.
You know what this morning when I walked Fenway at around 4 a.m.
when I got up, it was fucking cold outside.
And I'm like, it felt like fall was coming on.
And I'm just like, and then I got in the car to go to the gym and it was 60
degrees by car red. And I'm like, why can't it just be 60 degrees every fucking morning?
(43:53):
Like, because the last couple of mornings or last week, it was like already 70 degrees
at 6 a.m. Yeah.
So I was just like, this is just not no.
Damn, I know. I don't even I don't even understand.
The other day I told you or the last time we were podcasting,
it was like pouring rain.
(44:14):
I was like, yeah, open.
I'm like, what the fuck is this?
Fuckin Hawaii. God, I know.
Where's the monsoon?
Like, geez, this is insane.
It's insane. But I was like, yes, please water my grass.
Right. So you don't have to.
It might work. Garners came and they're like, it's all fucking yellow.
(44:35):
It's like straw.
And I'm like, I don't know.
I had to conserve water.
I don't I don't even have a sprinkler system and I don't even use it.
Like, I don't know who cares. You're fine.
Yeah, it just sucks when I'm trying to lay out there.
And then it's like, oh, it's all just prickly.
And, you know, you like on the grass.
Just get a. I have a lounge chair.
(44:57):
I was just going to say lay on a lounge chair.
That's what I do.
I try to. But then there's all these wasps and and lizards.
How did you get to take?
Did you take care of the wasps on your fence or whatever?
I have a wasp trap or that.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Did it work?
Um, there's a lot of bugs in there, but not too many wasps.
But the wasps. Oh, I think they're smart.
(45:18):
They're just like, oh, shit, never mind.
I'm fucking moving.
They didn't get one there. So.
I fucking hate wasps.
That's sort of why I was like, you can sting me more than once.
Get out of here.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Oh, so they don't die after they sting like how bees do?
No. Fuck wasps.
(45:40):
I know.
Those fuckers are going to stab you up like,
like,
like, oh, this is my last attempt for life.
And then they fucking they give up.
They're like, yeah, bees are just like, ah,
you get that little stinger out and they're dead.
Once their stinger is in you and it's off their like abdomen or whatever,
(46:04):
they're dead, not wasp, not yellow jackets.
The most others are just going to sting you like if there's a swarm.
Guess what? If there's two hundred of them dead stung like fucking six times.
Everybody's going to sting you like you're dead.
You are dead.
Huh. Did not know that.
(46:24):
Yeah, they're they're they're mean.
So mean and ugly.
Just like me. I should probably like them.
All right, Pomona bullets, we're rounding up on 50 minutes.
Do you have any parting words for our listeners for the week?
I do not.
I just wish everybody a very, very productive week.
And when somebody says good morning, do not reply.
(46:47):
There's nothing good about the morning
because that's what I do.
And I think that we should just look at, hey, it's another day.
OK. And I wish everybody a good week as well.
And if you're out in the sun, just fucking stay hydrated.
I guess there you go.
Libated and hydrated. That's right.
(47:08):
There's two hands, one for water, one for alcohol.
You know, both double fist.
That's right, bitch.
All right, on that note, we are out.
Peace.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.