235. Ennui Golf

Lords: * Jenni * Xalavier Topics: * How do centaur internal organs work * What is the most unlikely horror franchise to adapt to games? * Do boomerangs work? * Serious KAAAND! * https://www.reddit.com/r/TopicLords/comments/1b3j3nu/serious_kaaand/ * Most game mascots are the sexual avatars of their creators * The Ted Dabney Experience Microtopics: * Rusty Lake. * An intriguing, terrifying morsel. * Whether it's okay to lie on this show. * Life Eater. * The horror fantasy kidnapping sim space. * Shippers shipping games. * How do we ship this game without destroying people? * All of the horse except for the head and neck. * Cosmetic centaur organs. * Introducing yourself to the inside of a centaur and it's extremely squishy in there. * A single multifunctional cube that births a centaur and that's the original Xbox startup video. * Speaking a language that doesn't exist and every time you finish a sentence you hear church bells. * Would a defective centaur wear a hat like this or like this? * Centaurs always standing at their standing desks. * A centaur wearing a horse mask. * Playing Wii Golf with someone who remains sitting the entire time. * Getting off the Power Pad to long jump. * Sitting golf. * My Dinner with Andre the Giant. * The monster mash vs. monster bash. * Adapting the Ghostbusters theme song to other media. * Playing as the car and running people over. * Jail for cars. * Jelly beans that taste bad on purpose. * 80s films for children that are meant to turn them into weird bisexuals when they grow up. * Jeff Minter's Dune. * Barbarella the video game. * More things you can do with your Rock Band instruments. * Sticking even more games inside of Fortnite. * The lemur with the really big eyes. * Microorganisms that live in water and have the end of a comedy roast bone for a head. * Venomousness of hybrid mammals. * Grabbing your stress ball after learning that the duck billed platypus uses electroreception to track their prey, Xalavier Nelson, Jr. * Platypus patch notes. * Adding expansions to Classic World of Warcraft. * Gauging the temperature of the room when it comes to boomerangs. * Throwing a washing machine in a circle. * How you feel when the boomerang doesn't come back. * Objects that you see on TV. * Boomerangs that instant of being carved to return when you throw them, are carved to say "help, I'm trapped in a boomerang factory" in an Australian accent when the wind whistles through it. * A boomerang with a heart on it that you throw to find true love. * Boomerangs vs. Gen-Xerangs. * Getting lazy by the time you sharpen the 7th blade on your boomerang. * Disrupting marshmallows by making them kinda good. * Hiring a game studio to make a satisfying sequel to Katamari Damacy and then immediately suing them for fraud because making a satisfying sequel to Katamari Damacy is impossible. * Getting Australian concussions all weekend. * Naming your facial hair "are you ready for the next topics" * Hi guys call anyone knows how to buy guns and armor India? * Crossposting between r/TopicLords to r/IndianTeenagers. * Weeding out the cowards with Gregorian Chant. * Looking at Glover and immediately understanding his salient sexual verbs. * The distinction between mascot and main character. * Your Sonics, your Gexes and your Crashes Bandicoot. * Switching places with your therapist. * Non-saucy mascots. * Having to pick between being horny and being a sociopath because you can't be both. * Glover vs. Hamburger Helper vs. Thing. * Opening yourself to a deeper Freudian zeitgeist. * The mascot platformer you keep seeing roms of but have never downloaded. * Blinx 2: Masters of Time and Space. * Blinx dressing up as the lead singer of Power Man 5000. * Exactly the sort of podcast segment you want to commit to sight unseen. * Being willing to give up 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand to make a friend happy. * How much do you want that Golden Microphone? * The crucible of the soul you go through to record a podcast. * People in the future deciding what you would have made a podcast about if you were still alive and making that podcast. * The Xalavier Nelson, Jr. Experience. * The dream list of developers you ask to help finish your game in your will. * Locking Albert Einsten and Genghis Khan in a haunted house and they vote each other off the show back and forth forever. * A deeply safe field for job hunting. * The Ted Dabney Experience of finding out that Ted Dabney died twelve years ago. * Mrs. Columbo. * A movie named "This Movie Has Marky Mark In It." * A game called Beyonce Battle Royale that doesn't have Beyonce in it and it's not a battle royale. (It's a clicker.) * Beyonce: Oops All Mudkips.