Ep. 11 Confessions and Chaos: The Unhinged Listener Chronicles 1

Episode Description:

Welcome to the first-ever installment of The Unhinged Listener Chronicles! In this episode, we’re diving into your confessions and dilemmas—spicy, emotional, and downright chaotic. From tricky relationships to spouse-family drama, workplace nightmares, and toxic friendships, we’re breaking it all down with our signature blend of sass, humor, and (believe it or not) some solid advice.

Get ready for raw honesty, bold opinions, and a few mic-drop moments as we tackle the chaos you’ve sent our way. Spoiler alert: We’re not afraid to call things like we see them.

In This Episode:

• Relationship Woes: One listener’s partner refuses to be a team player

• In-Laws Gone Wild: What do you do when your spouse’s family seems to be auditioning for the role of “villain” in your life?

• Workplace Dramas: Dealing with shady coworkers, that like to micromanage your work

• Friendship Troubles: Should you confront a friend who’s been ghosting you, or just let them fade into the distance?

• Our Takes: Advice that’s a mix of tough love, sarcastic truth bombs, and tips to help you navigate the chaos like a boss.

Why Listen:

If you’ve ever felt alone in your personal chaos, this episode proves you’re definitely not. Whether you’re looking for advice, validation, or just some laughs at someone else’s drama (don’t lie, we all do it), this episode is for you.

Listener Warning:

We’re not therapists—just three unhinged women with a lot of opinions and no filter. Take our advice with a grain of salt (and maybe a shot of tequila).

Want to Be Featured?

Got your own story to share? Email us or slide into our DMs with your confessions, dilemmas, or unhinged moments. We might just read it on the next episode (anonymously, of course).

Don’t Forget to Follow & Share!

If you loved this episode, spread the chaos by sharing it with a friend who needs a laugh (or some advice). Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Unhinged Memoirs for more wild stories, unapologetic truth, and unfiltered humor.

Socials:

Follow us on Instagram facebook, Snapchat for behind-the-scenes chaos, bonus content, and updates on upcoming episodes. Let’s keep the unhinged energy going!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I just want you to know that I'm sorry.

(00:02):
What's up everyone? Welcome back to another episode at Huninj Memoirs. We are on episode

(00:25):
11. I cannot believe it. I am Jess. I'm Liz. And I'm Val. And today we are so excited
because we actually got a whole bunch of listener submissions over our past couple episodes.
So we actually wanted to do an episode that is all for you guys. So this one is called
Confessions of Chaos in Unhinged Listeners Chronicles number one. Yay. So excited. So

(00:48):
we're going to go ahead and read these and actually give our advice because we got a
lot of advice ones this time. So we're going to read those. Well, I'm excited because I'm
going to read the first one. And this one, like, I don't know, it just kind of, it gets
it. Yeah, I felt it. I was like, girl, same. So this one says, Hey ladies, I'm in need

(01:13):
of some serious life advice right now because I feel completely stuck. I'm in my late 20s
and it feels like everyone around me has their life together. They either are married, have
kids, they're buying houses, moving up in their careers. Meanwhile, I'm still living
paycheck to paycheck working on a job that I don't love. And I have no idea what I want
to do with my life. Constantly. I'm feeling like I'm falling behind. Social media makes

(01:36):
it worse because it feels like everyone is thriving while I'm barely keeping my head
above water. Same girl. I have dreams of starting my own business one day, but I'm scared to
take the risk because of the money and the fear of failing. I just feel stuck between
wanting more for myself and being too afraid to go for it. How do you get out of this rut
and start building a life that I'm actually proud of? How do I stop comparing myself to

(01:58):
everyone else and focus on my own path? Girl, that is rough. I really truly feel for her.
I've been there. I'm still there. Yeah. How are you navigating it? Let's start there.
I'm not. I'm not. I'm like, it's a struggle. It's a fucking struggle. Like I, like I, I

(02:19):
don't, I love my job and I like, I like what I do because I help people. You know what
I mean? I work in the emergency room, though I'm not a nurse. I've worked in the medical
field since I was 17 years old. Okay. It is the most draining job you could ever have
working in the medical field, no matter what aspect you do. Yes, it is. But I feel like

(02:39):
my life really has no purpose. You know what I mean? I feel like I'm going nowhere in life
right now and it fucking sucks. And I'm in my mid to late thirties and that's like the
worst feeling in the entire world. Like I look at you and I'm like, she's got, she's got
her own, she's got everything she needs. You know what I mean? She's got her own car. She's
got a fucking apartment to herself. She doesn't have kids that she has to worry about. You

(03:02):
know what I mean? Like I'm envious of that. And then I look at Jess over here, she's got
the husband, she's got the kids, she's got the house, she's got everything. You know
what I mean? And here, here I am just sitting on my own, you know, you know what? And that's
cause I can, I can flip that and go in the same way. I feel the same way when I, when
I look on social media or when I look at everybody else around me, you know what I mean? Like

(03:23):
I can look and go, this is not where I'm supposed to be. I'm almost 40 years old and this was
not the career that I wanted. And this is not what I wanted to do with my life. And
I expected to be more off. I didn't expect to be renting a house. I expected to be owning
a house by this point. And I expected to have my shit together. And I think, you know, we
have, we are, and I've said it before and I'll say it again, we are our own worst critics.
Okay. And unfortunately that's a part of life that we're never going to be fully a hundred

(03:48):
percent happy where we are because once we reach that goal, we're always setting new
goals for ourselves and going, well, I need to be better than this. And social media,
if you want my advice, stay off of it. Give yourself a cleanse because you know what?
90% of shit you see on social media is fake anyways. Yeah. I mean, they may have like
happy moments, but it's not, it's not, it's not their actual life. They're not posting

(04:09):
the bad. They're only people who only post the good unless it's like something tragic
and they're looking for pity or, or, you know, whatever you want to call it. That's the only
time people are really posting negative. Yeah. And I love the fact that some people are just
posting and they're flexing all these cars that they bought or these new Gucci bags,
bitch, they bought that on a credit card. That's been maxed out for five years and have
four of them. Do you know what I mean? Like you really don't know what they're flexing.

(04:33):
So first of all, first and foremost, I'm with you on that social media. Don't even pay no
mind that has zero, zero effect on anything. Number two, the paycheck to paycheck. Here's
how I think about that. I believe me have been there. We've all been there. I'm still
there. Yeah. Right. Like it's tough. It's a tough spot to be in, but I think also reevaluating

(04:59):
your situation and where you want to be and believing in yourself to do better and finding
other outlets to be better is where you need to start with yourself, starting with yourself
and looking in and where you want to be and giving yourself that gift of if it's something
small in that moment, you want to take a class towards something or if you want to just try

(05:20):
a career change or if you want to switch your hours, you know, or pick up different, different
hours in a, in a different area, you can, you know, like figure out where you want to
go. If you're not happy where you're in right now is where you need to start evaluating.
I agree. That's important. Yeah. If you're not happy, don't stay in it. And listen, if

(05:43):
you have a dream of opening your own business, the best thing I can tell you is start doing
the small things that you can do. Start buying stuff you'll need for your business. Start
slowly as you have the extra cash, get it, put it aside. And then this way, when you're
ready to do that, it's less money. You're having to invest in that moment and you can
slowly work on building up to your dream of where you're looking to be. I mean, honestly,

(06:03):
it's the best way to do it unless you can get an investor or some to that extent. But
when money's tough, we don't like to take risky moves. And I understand that too, you
know? Um, but sometimes you got to put yourself out there, especially if it's something, you
know, you're going to be good at every business owner says you've got to spend money.
You make money. Absolutely. Just don't spend more money than you're bringing in. Right.
No, for sure. So absolutely. And within your means and understand that you got to stop

(06:28):
comparing yourself to people because that is literally like worst enemy. 100%. It is
100% your worst enemy because you know what? Everybody goes through different chapters
and different phases in their life. And you know, I, and I, I'd be calling, you know,
the kettle black if I, if I didn't say that I didn't do that myself, you know, I've compared
myself to people growing up. And even now, sometimes I still find myself trying to do

(06:52):
that. But I have to like take a step back and go, you know what? It's not worth comparing
your life to someone else's because everybody's going through different things at different
times. And just because you're not there doesn't mean you can't be there. So absolutely. And
you know, and it's funny, like you, you, she's sitting there, she's like, I look at you and
you have a job, you have a career, you have no kids that you have to worry about. That's

(07:15):
one of my deepest, my deepest wounds is that I don't have kids. You really, truly, everyone
has their own battles, you know, everyone truly does have their own battles. So I think
not comparing yourself is where you need to start. I agree. 100%. All right. All right.
So we have another one. I hope that helped. I do too. We're gonna, we're gonna pray for

(07:41):
everyone. I love this. You're gonna do just fine. You're great how you are. Um, all right.
So we have this one. Okay. What's up guys? This podcast has been my lifeline and your
honesty and humor are exactly what I need right now. I'm in a tough spot and could really
use some advice. I've been best friends with this girl for almost 10 years. We've been
through everything together, breakups, family drama, job changes, you name it. But lately

(08:05):
our friendship feels off. She's been super distant and only reaches out when she, when
she needs something. I'll call or text and she either ignores me or give super short
replies. But as soon as she needs advice or a favor, she's blowing up my phone. The part
that hurts is that I've always shown up for her, but when I need support, she's nowhere
to be found. That's terrible. I feel like I'm putting in all the effort to keep our

(08:28):
friendship alive and it's starting to feel one sided. I tried hinting that I feel left
out, but she just laughs it off and said that she's been, she's just been quote unquote
busy. I don't want to lose this friendship because we've been so close for so long, but
I'm starting to feel like I'm used. How do I talk to her about this without causing drama?
And how do I know if it's time to let this friendship go or it's just a rough patch?

(08:51):
That is a rocky road. That is a rocky road. I feel like though, as women, we can all agree
that we've all been there. Yeah. We've all been in that situation, whether it has been
one of the latter, you know what I mean? Whether it was you feeling that way and it was just
something was going on in that other person's life or if it was actually time to end that
friendship. I can agree with that. My ex best friend, we kind of hit that point where like

(09:17):
she was living on the other side of the country while she was in the service. So she was on
the other side of the country and like we only talked like once or twice a week. We
would try and text every day, but it just wasn't the same. And um, we kind of had the
conversation of like, what the fuck's going on. Right. And then she kind of got jealous

(09:38):
that I became friends with you and I kind of got sick of it at that point and I just
snapped and then her and I have not spoken a day in almost four years now. That's crazy.
It's crazy to me. So, and we were friends for like 13 years. Yeah. That's rough. So

(09:59):
does that bother you? Um, it did bother me in the beginning. Now I don't give a fuck.
Really? I don't give a flying fuck. You are happy living your life. You're thriving, doing
your own thing. That's great. You know what I mean? But if you can't get over one little
thing and you just move on that quickly, it's not worth it anymore. They're, they have no
place in your life if they're not cheering you on too. And if they get jealous over somebody

(10:24):
else coming into your life, like you're allowed to have more than one best friend, right?
It's not, there is no cardinal rule that says you can only have one best friend in life.
And if that's the games we're still playing in our thirties, I don't need to play them
anymore. I agree. I absolutely. I think one sided friendships are just tough to navigate
too. Absolutely. And here's my thing. Like I understand that we all, again, being in

(10:47):
our thirties, we have lives. We, you, you guys have kids, you have a husband, you have
work full time. Like I have work full time school. I mean, I'm taking a little break
right now, but like school when it's in, I'm busy. And sometimes, especially you kind of

(11:08):
touched on this at the last point, when I get home, I'm just mentally drained. Like
being a nurse is not for the weak man. Like it's draining. So sometimes I just don't want
to talk, you know, and that has nothing to do with anything personal. However, however,
you know, give yourself rest and relaxation. If she says that she's busy, understand that.

(11:31):
But also there's times where she can relax and connect with you once a week, 30 minutes,
you know what I mean? Or go out to lunch. If that's where you guys are at, like we, I
mean, all of us are lucky. We, we actually basically hang out like still sisters, but
you know, if for some people go out to lunch or catch up with coffee, like they can't just

(11:51):
be one sided. And I know that Jessica and I have been through rough patches where, where
we kind of just kind of distance, but in those moments, what did we do? We, we communicated.
Yeah. And that's, that's really true. You're going to be the biggest part. Absolutely.
You have to communicate. Like sometimes doing it via like texture or calling or doing that
kind of stuff is not needed. You need to actually sit down with the person like, Hey, can we

(12:14):
meet up for like an hour? I would really like to have a conversation with you and sit down
and explain your feelings and go, listen, this is not me attacking you. I just want
to be able to talk to you, express where I'm coming from and kind of see if we can meet
in the middle here. Am I doing something wrong? Have I done something wrong? I feel like we're
distant and explain that communicate with her and say, listen, I feel like I'm always

(12:34):
the one that when you need me, I'm there. I'm, I'm jumping up. I'm, I'm handling everything
for you. I answer your calls. I'll you need help with something. I'm there. I show up.
But when the situation's reverse, if it's not benefiting you, you're not helping me. And,
and I can understand how that feels. So you need to communicate that though, because depending
on, and I don't know what's going on in your friend's life, but in that situation, you

(12:55):
don't know what is fully going on. If she's sharing what's going on in her head, is she
dealing with some issues that she's not ready to talk about or whatever the situation is,
sometimes that can be a pull away too. Cause I know for me, that's my biggest thing. I
recluse and I start getting quiet and I'll be like, Oh, I'm busy or I'm tired or this
or that because I'm going through something and I'm just not ready to talk about it or
ready to address it yet. Um, but having someone come to me and be like, Hey, you know, what's

(13:19):
going on that I love you enough to say this, right? Yeah. I love you enough to say like,
I can feel like we're, there's a distance between us and I'm just trying to figure out
if it's me or is it something I've done. And you know, that's, that's the biggest in any,
any relationship, whether it be friendship, family, you know, spouse, whatever the situation
is, you have to have communication. You know, you also have to have two people that are

(13:40):
receptive to hearing those things too, because it's not, it wouldn't work if you came to
me and said all these things and you're like, Hey, I'm feeling some type of way. And I'm
like, Oh, well, I'm sorry. You feel that way. Yeah. And left it at that and vice versa.
You know, I'm not going to come to you and say, Hey, we just had this conversation last
week where I was feeling some type of way. And I literally brought it up and I was like,

(14:01):
I just feel like my abandonment issues are being triggered. And your first response was
I love you. And that's not if I'm doing that, if I'm doing something to make you feel that
way, I don't want to. So you have to have friendships that first of all, you're open
and communicating. And second of all, you're both receptive to understanding what each
other is saying, because you know, that's coming from a place of love. So I think if,

(14:21):
if you're doing all of those things, and you're opening up and you're saying, Hey, I'm bothered
and they're not receptive, then I would say maybe reevaluate your friendship. Yeah, you
know,
I'm heavy on communication is key, but comprehension is more important. Absolutely. Say it again
for the people in the back. Mike dropped Mike. So I mean, I hope that's that kind of helps

(14:44):
give some sort of advice of you just need to communicate. And if that is a situation,
and if you sit down and have that conversation with this person, and they're still not being
receptive and still not understanding where you're coming from, and they're still brushing
you off, then maybe it is time to consider cutting ties. Yeah, because at the end of
the day, your mental health is what matters. And if it's affecting you emotionally, it's
not worth the wait. Nope. And if that's the case, learn how to take time, find a new hobby,

(15:09):
start reading in bed. Big, right. All right. So I'm gonna move on to the next one. This
one says, Hey, loves, I absolutely love you guys. And I really need some advice on something
that's been eating at me lately. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two
years. We live together and have been talking about getting married one day. The problem
is I never felt truly accepted by his family. His mom barely talks to me and his sister

(15:33):
always makes passive aggressive comments when I'm around. He tells me just to ignore him
and says, that's just how they are. But it's starting to feel personal and making me feel
uncomfortable. His niece's birthday is next week and he wants me to go to their party,
which means I will be around his family and honestly, I'm dreading it. I feel like I'm
constantly walking on eggshells around them. And I'm scared if I say no, it'll cause problems

(15:55):
between us. But if I go, I know I'm going to feel like I'm out of place the entire time.
How do I handle this situation? Should I? Should I talk to him about it or feel? What
did she say? Oh, wait, sorry. Should I talk about it or how I'm feeling or just suck it
up and go? I don't want to come between him and his family, but I also don't want to feel
like I'm an outsider in this relationship. That's a tough one because I've been there

(16:19):
before I've been in the shoes of feeling like I wasn't accepted by the family. And that
is a really shitty feeling because all you want to do is be accepted when you're with
that person, you know? So I don't know. That's, that is a hard line to like navigate though.
It is honestly. I mean, I got lucky in my son's father's relation. Like when I was in

(16:40):
relationship with him, his family was so open and accepting in the beginning. Like it was
great. But previous relationships I've had, their mom hated me. Like it was like, I was
taking him away from their mother. You know what I mean? Like that's my spawn. Well, yeah,
I said spawn because you know, it's in Israel, but she like held everything against me. Like

(17:07):
any, anytime he wouldn't call as much or if he didn't do things the way that she remembered
he did them. Oh, well I'm sure you've changed so much since Liz has come in your life. Fuck
all the way off. Your son has grown up and grown the fuck out of diapers and got away
from you. He's being his own person now. Don't blame it on somebody else because you're a
shitty parent. I feel like that's also like a sense of control though. Like it is in the,

(17:29):
in the family dynamic. There's a lot of controlling parents out there though. Yeah. Who don't
like their children's spouses. Yeah. And sometimes it's not just about control though. You know
what I mean? Sometimes they truly just don't like the person that that person's with. And
that's fine. You don't have to like me, but you will respect me. Absolutely. And I think
it comes down to, cause I know it's, I mean, it's hard as my kids are growing up and they're
getting spouses. Like you never are going to ever feel like someone's perfect enough

(17:52):
for your kid. You know what I mean? Absolutely. In that aspect, but you have to find the love
in them and go, you know what? They're just human too. If they make my child happy, that's
what matters. That's what matters. Absolutely. So I don't know. I think bringing this up
to him though is something you should definitely talk to him about it. Yeah. Like I don't,
he has to know how you're feeling because if not, then you're going to start grow to

(18:13):
grow resentment and you're going to start holding him against him without even realize
you're holding him against him. Yeah. I'd go one further. I'm going to be a hundred
seconds honestly, cause I actually did this and I'd go one further to actually go to the
mom and I would sit down with the mom and be like, Hey, can I talk to you or call her
up and say, Hey, I would like to have a conversation with you. Can we go meet up for coffee or
something if you haven't talked to him first? Well, talk to him. Yes, you can talk to him.

(18:35):
But if he's saying he said to her, that's just the way they are. That's not, that's
not a fair statement. Right. She's, she's obviously talked to him before and said that she feels
like they're not accepting of her. Okay. You know what I mean? So in that situation, like
talk to him and let him know that you want to go and try to build a relationship with
the mom and the family. Because if you guys are, if you guys are talking about getting

(18:55):
married, you guys are all going to be family. So in that situation, like you need to build
some sort of foundation and all you can do is try. And if it ended up not working out
and in the aspect of with the mom, at least you did everything you could. So my suggestion
would be to like, let him know you're going to do it. Let him know you're going to go
sit down and have coffee with his mom or whatever situation is, but sit down with her and just

(19:16):
say, Hey, you know, is there anything I can do that would make you happy? Is there anything
that you know, I'm doing that you dislike me for? You know, I just, I feel sometimes
some sort of distance between us and I would really like to build a relationship with you
because you know, if me and your son are getting married, you're going to be my mother-in-law
and I don't want this to be an awkward situation. I want it to be able to feel like you guys

(19:37):
are my family. Cause I look at you guys as my family too. So I don't want to feel like
I'm an outsider. So how, how do we better further a relationship and start making attempts
that way? I mean, I w I've done it before. I would, that's what I would do. I think that's
a very elegant way of putting that. And I think that it gives respect. It doesn't put
anyone in any awkward situations. You're pretty much stating, Hey, I'm uncomfortable and I

(19:59):
don't want to feel that way around you because your family, your family, especially if you've
been dating that long, you know, there, there should be some type of connection there. Yeah.
So, um, and not only that, I feel like it would cause drama for the, for it with her
telling her, her boyfriend, right? Like this is what's going on. This is what I'm feeling.
This is, you know, how do we fix this? I don't like this. I don't want to be around them

(20:19):
because of this and all he's doing, if he's just like passive aggressive leaders, be like,
Oh, you know, it is what it is. This is just how they are. He's obviously not doing anything
about it or even standing up for his girlfriend or trying to be like, Hey, this is she's,
she's my family now. Like this is my, my going to be my wife. Like you need to, you need
to like stop treating her like shit, treat her like she's family or whatever. Like you
can go to your family and talk to them in a respectful way and say, Hey, I'm not going

(20:42):
to put up with you being disrespectful because my family's very open and loving and accepting
to Eric. But if for some reason they weren't, I'd be like, listen, this is who I want to
be with, right? You know, and this person makes me happy. So you need to treat him with
respect when he's around, just as I treat you guys with respect, I expect the same to
my partner.
And that's kind of how the relationship went with my ex whose mom, like she was just mean

(21:07):
to me. He kind of told her, he was like, look, this is who I choose to be with. This is who
makes me happy. She's in my life, regardless whether you like her or not. So I expect you
to treat her with respect because all she's ever done is treat you with respect. Right.
And it actually ended badly between her and him. Like they didn't talk for like two, three
months. Oh, yeah. Because of it, because of it. Yeah.

(21:31):
And I finally was like, I'm not going to have that because I don't want that on my conscience.
Like I knew it had nothing to do with me, like that I told him to do that or whatever
the case was, but it was a shitty situation. You know what I mean? Because I would never
want to be that person that drives a child away from their mother. Absolutely not. So
I don't know. It's, it's a tightrope. Yeah. And I've always been heavy on like, you need

(21:53):
to have a relationship with your family. Yeah. You know what I mean? So and I've always tried
to kind of push that in every relationship I've ever been in, if they've had like a struggling
relationship. But for falling back on what we were talking about, I will say that in
her also going to the mother is going to show like, Hey, I'm not going to stand for you
to just do this to me. Absolutely. Like it's, it's, it's a, it's a amount of gaining respect

(22:14):
by going to the mom directly too, as well. I mean, like I'm going to handle this. She
can tell her boyfriend, like, listen, I'm going to go talk to your mom because I don't want
it to be like this. I want us all to get along. I want us to, I don't want to feel like an
outsider, you know, so her going to it, it takes, takes the middle man out. So there
can be no confusion because then it's, Oh, what is she whining? Oh, what is she talking
shit? Is she saying something? This is why we don't like her. You know, from the horse's

(22:38):
mouth. Right, right. So you better off to just go to a myself personally. That's my
opinion. I may be wrong, but that's just my opinion. This sounds like the current I'm
watching 90 day fiance. And this sounds like Gino and Jasmine. I've been so far removed
from that show. I haven't watched it in such a while. I haven't either. I just picked it
up. What's the guy with no neck? Oh, big head. Big head. Oh God. Yeah. I haven't like, this

(23:04):
is not normally something I watch all the time, but now that I'm like single, yes. I'm
like, what am I going to do? I got to pick up something. So I read and I watched 90 day
fiance and it's actually quite entertaining. Cause then I'm like, every time I'm single
or every time I'm like, Oh, I don't have anyone. I watch that show and it makes me feel better.
And you're like, I don't want anyone. I'm a single and celibate for us. You might as

(23:27):
well just become a nun at this point. Oh man. I'm stuck on the resident right now. I'm on
like episode six. Oh, I love that show. Like I am so sucked in. Like it took me a little
bit. Like the first season was really good though, but like I didn't really fully get
sucked in. What episode are you on? I'm on season six. Oh, you said episode six and I'm
like, sorry. I was like, what? Like season six, episode three or four. And I think, but

(23:50):
yeah, no, I've been like such a show. Is this on Netflix? Yes. Yes it is. Yeah. Conrad Hawkins.
Daddy. He could, he could be my doctor any day. Oh, yep. So moving on now back to another
listener. Whoa. Hey, watch it. Cause we work with a lot of them. Actually. Yeah. There's

(24:12):
a couple that I would trust. Anyway, off topic. Good. Good eggs. All right. The next one I
have says, I need some advice because I'm feeling stuck right now. My husband and I
have been married for five years and we have two kids together. Lately I've been feeling
like I'm doing everything on my own. I handle the house, the kids and I work part time,
but he also acts like his only responsibility is his nine to five job. I've tried talking

(24:36):
to him about needing more help, but he always says I work all day and I deserve to relax
when I get home. I have so much to say on this one. Go ahead. Meanwhile, I'm exhausted
and starting to feel resentful. I love him, but I don't feel like we're partners anymore.
I feel like I'm raising the kids and taking care of everything by myself. I've tried asking
nicely. I've tried being direct, but nothing changes. I'm scared if I pushed you hard,

(24:59):
it'll cause more tension. But if I stay quiet, I feel like there's going to be burnout. How
do I get him to understand that I need help without making it feel like I'm nagging? And
how do I stop this resentment from building up and ruining our marriage? Sincerely drowning
in dirty dishes and diapers. Oh girl. Okay. So listen, I know Jess is on it. She's like,

(25:19):
I'm rearing to go. I'm getting steamed for you on this one because all right. So I have
been exactly in this situation before and it is a miserable feeling when you are trying
to take care of everything. You're working part time, you're sitting there and you're
cleaning the house, you're taking care of the kids and that alone, just taking care
of the kids when they're hanging on you all day, it becomes so emotionally draining. You

(25:44):
need to speak up like a hundred percent. And if he's not willing to step up, I'm like,
I'm a hundred percent on this, like heavy on the, he doesn't babysit his own fucking
kids. Okay. That is his responsibility too. So him, Oh, I deserve to relax because he
worked nine to five. Well, what about you? Realistically, like you're sitting there,
waking up first thing in the morning, you're cooking, you're cleaning, you're taking care

(26:06):
of the house, you're taking care of the kids, you're trying to take care of yourself and
trying to have everything ready for him while he's working his measly eight hours a day
and you're sitting there working 20 hours a day of what it feels like and getting hardly
any sleep because you're waking up in the middle of the night with the kids, taking
care of them all night so that he can come home and relax and what sit on his ass and
play video games. Fuck that shit. My eight hours was so hard. And I know you love him,

(26:29):
but I'm going to tell you right now, if he's not willing to be a team player and not willing
to meet you in the middle and help you get the fucking fucking husband at all.
No, fuck that. I'm sorry that I've been in too, too many situations like that. And I've
been burnt way too hard, way too fucking hard. And that is not okay. You deserve better than
that. You deserve someone that's going to actually be there and help you take care of

(26:51):
those kids and help you take care of the housework and be a team player. That's what's important.
Just my two sons therapy. Sorry, this one rears me up a little bit because I've been
in this situation and spent almost seven years of my life in this fucking nonsense and it's
bullshit. Like truly, like you can't allow that shit to go on because you're going to

(27:13):
either have resentment if you don't speak up and you're going to get burnt out both
ways. I mean, you're going to deal with both.
And especially like being in love with someone and someone going, just leave them. Like we
know that's the responsible choice. Okay. We know that you deserve better, but I understand
the power of love. So I say, if it's not working, you go to him and you say, listen, I'm feeling
this way. This is really bothering me. This is making me resent you in our relationship

(27:38):
and I don't want that. So either a, we get couples therapy to try to figure out how we
do this or B I'm going to put up boundaries and say, okay, you know what? Then I'm going
to take an hour between seven and eight. You're going to take care of the kids. I'm going
to do something for myself. There's boundaries and there's therapy. If you don't want to
just outright leave them. And I'm not just saying go out of your way to just break up

(27:59):
with them, but you need to speak up for yourself. Absolutely. You're going to end up like literally
losing yourself a hundred percent and feeling so burnt out that you won't be able to recover
for a long time. Yep. I agree. Well that, and not only that, like I think after a while
when the kids start to see their mom burnt out, it starts to affect them as well. Like
as a child of like a product of that environment. Absolutely. So it starts to affect your children

(28:24):
as well. And you have to think about them and their mental health and their, their mental
wellbeing because they're too young to speak up for themselves sometimes for sure. So now
I'm a firm believer and I may be wrong and I'm not, and I understand that I've done both.
I've been a single mom and I've also been the single mom in a relationship. And I would
say being in a relationship with someone and still having to do everything on yourself

(28:44):
is 10 times harder than when you're just doing singly because you don't expect anybody to
help you when you know you have just yourself to rely on and yes, take care of your house
and you have to take care of your kids. You go into survival mode and you make that shit
work. But when you're in a relationship, that's a completely different feeling because now
you almost feel betrayed in the same aspect. Yep. And you're going, but why, why can't
you just fucking help? Why aren't you like, why this isn't how it's supposed to be. And

(29:07):
then your mental health goes to shit because of that. Yep. And it brings up like deeper
feelings. Like I don't feel important. Yeah. Like that's not something that you should
be feeling inside of a relationship, especially when you've been married for five years and
have two kids. Yeah. You deserve better. It's not worth it. No, honestly. So I hope that
you, um, first of all, realize your worth and I hope that you can speak up for yourself

(29:31):
and I hope that if you don't want to leave, that's fine, but either try to find some marriage
counseling or, you know, put up harder boundaries because that's no, that's nothing that anyone
needs to deal with. Sit down and communicate for sure. Have a conversation with them, explain
what you're feeling and ask for change. And if he still can't do that, then go to therapy.
And if therapy don't work, then you make your own choices and that's our other options.

(29:56):
We want updates. Yeah. Yeah. Please let us know what's going on after you have that conversation.
Yeah, please. Please do. Okay. Um, the next one we got, hello ladies. I'm reaching out
because I'm dealing with something that's really been getting to me getting ghosted.
I met someone a few weeks ago through a dating app and we hit it. We hit it off right away.
We had great conversations, exchanged texts all day and even made plans to meet up in

(30:19):
person. Everything seemed perfect, but then after a few days of texting, nothing. They
just completely stopped responding. I didn't get any explanation. No heads up, no closure,
just radio silence. At first I thought maybe they're a busy or something comes or something
came up, but the more time passed, the more I started doubting myself. I kept thinking,

(30:39):
did I say something wrong? Was I too much? I'm having a hard time not taking it personally.
I know ghosting happens, but this is the first time that it's happened to me and it really
does sting. So my question is, how do you get, how do you get over getting ghosted without
letting it affect your self worth? I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm not enough girl now,

(31:00):
or maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I don't want to go down that rabbit hole. How
do you keep your confidence up and move on when it feels like someone just disappeared
without a trace? Listen, Linda, there is nothing wrong with you. That is a 100% perception.

(31:20):
That is a mirror image of who they are. And if that's what they're showing you right
off rip, you run, you run. And first of all, I'm Christian. I believe that God's blocking
that. You don't try to chase that. He goes to do for a reason. And if he just, if he
doesn't have the self respect to go, Hey, I'm just not feeling this or Hey, I'm a little
afraid to meet you in person or Hey, I just feel like this is not going to go anywhere.

(31:44):
And I just wanted to be entertained because let's face it, some guys just text you just
to be fucking entertained. Absolutely. So if that's the case and you're getting ghosted,
that's a blessing baby. That is nothing to be worried about. There is nothing wrong with
you. Your confidence. You're still a bad bitch. I don't give a fuck if he's still ghosting
you or not. You're still a bad bitch. Bad bitch. For real. Like fuck that. Let him ghost

(32:08):
you. You keep moving. And if he reaches back out, I'm sorry, but your inconsistency is
unattractive. Period. Sent. Tell my man. Right. As a product of somebody who has been ghosted
on several occasions, um, I listen, I am a firm believer in online dating because I fucking

(32:32):
hate people as much as I want to be loved. Oh my God, this poor girl. Listen, just listen.
I have been ghosted more times than I can count and it's not because of well, in my
mind, it's, it's not because of me as a person. I think it's more of my body because I am
a bigger full figured woman and I used to care about that a lot. Now I don't give a

(32:54):
flying fuck what you think about me or my body. Okay. If you don't like me, look the
other fucking way. Cause bitch, you're going to see me whatever way I'm walking. But if
it is my personality, like again, if you didn't like it right then and there, you're not,
we're not going to last. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I need somebody who's going to
be on par with me, who can keep up with me. And if my personality is too much in your

(33:19):
face or it's too much for you, then we are not compatible and that's fine. Agreed. But
learn to open your fucking mouth. Agreed. Like it's super simple to just be like, Hey,
I don't think this is going to work. Okay, cool. I respect you more for that than for
you to just up and ghost me. I, I don't know. You know that tick tock your son's a fucking

(33:39):
pussy. What? What? What? Your son's a fucking pussy. I don't think I've seen that. No. Oh
my God. It's from a movie. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. That's really funny and it's fitting and that's
exactly what goes through my mind when I read that. So, um, their son is a fucking pussy
and he's not worth your time and you're a bad bitch. Right. Yeah. Wise words of Valerie.

(34:00):
I say, I don't understand the whole like ghosting culture or shit that goes on of like, Oh,
I didn't like this. So I'm just going to not say anything. Like when did everybody become
such little bitches that they just can't speak up and be like, Hey, I wasn't feeling it.
Like why is that so hard? Like, truthfully, why is that so fucking hard? Too many options
of what though? Okay. So you've got social media, you've got dating apps, you've got

(34:23):
all of these outlets that you can talk to other people. Right. There's no genuine connection
anymore. Right. So we live in a generation where it's all online to where if you're not
feeling it, you can gladly just move right on to the next one and start talking. Cause
you don't know, especially on those dating apps, you don't know how many motherfuckers
are talking to it one time. I get that. But see, to me, that's just, I guess it comes

(34:46):
down to it's just fucking pure respect. It is. No, it's about respect. Like straight
up. Like if you don't like someone or you are not feeling it, or if they did something
that just off puts you on a date or whatever the situation is, speak up. Yeah. Hey, listen,
I'm just not feeling this simple as that. Like you don't have to go on and explain exactly
every single thing. You can block the number when you're done, but just give them that

(35:07):
fucking thing because I mean, I've only been ghosted one time in my life, but the one time
that I got ghosted, I sat there for fucking weeks going, what? Like I was in like shell
shock. I'm like, w we just, we just spent like a month talking and like we hung out
twice and then all of a sudden you just like disappear out of fucking nowhere, like thin
air. Like you can't even like, I would rather some be like, you know what? Fuck you. Then

(35:27):
to just like straight up, not say anything. Like, because it leaves you wondering like
what happened? Did something happen to them? Are they okay? Uh, did I do something wrong?
And then as it goes on, you're like, holy shit, I got fucking ghosted. And that to me
is just so disrespectful. Like I don't for anybody. Listen, that does ghosting. Just
fucking say it, whether you're afraid of com, you know, of confrontation or whatever situation

(35:51):
is fucking just tell them, stop being a little bitch about it. Fucking speak up for yourself
and go, you know what? I'm not feeling it. You're not for me. I wish you nothing but
the best. Have a great day. Right? Like that whole statement goes not only for relationships
though, like friendships too. Absolutely. Like speak the fuck up. Stop ghosting people
in general period. Like if you don't like something I did speak up and say something.

(36:15):
I cannot, I cannot change something or apologize for something or try and correct my wrongs
for something that I have no clue about. Absolutely. So stop being a fucking pussy. For real. Just
a fucking pussy. Fucking pussy. Okay, so let's move on to the next one. So this one says,
Hey guys, I'm recently single and back in the dating poll after a long term relationship

(36:37):
that ended. Let me just say between dating, uh, the dating apps and endless small talk.
It feels impossible to find a genuine connection. I'm over the Netflix and chill invites and
so the same old, what do you do for fun conversations? Do you have any advice on navigating modern
dating while keeping my sanity and standards intact? Also, how do you stay hopeful when

(36:57):
it feels like everyone else is already coupled up? What wisdom would you share about balancing
fun and resilience in a chaotic world of dating? Okay. So I'm not really dating. Um, I'm more
focusing on, you know what? I think it's a great thing to rediscover yourself after a

(37:24):
long term relationship. And that's where I'm at. I'm actually enjoying relearning what
I like again. So I think in the maintaining resilience, first of all, understand what
you want, understand where your values play, understand what you like, what you're willing
to accept, what you're not willing to accept and bring the same type of values into your

(37:49):
next relationship. If you have done your work and you want to do that and you start dating,
um, dating pools, dating pool sucks and successful. It is a cesspool and it's just very, oh man,
I kind of, for the men who are listening, not all of you are like this, but men in my

(38:13):
mind are like roaches, right? The bottom dwellers, the bottom dwellers. Um, as soon as they find
out like you're single, they, it could be a week that you just broke up with someone.
It could be the same day. It really can be the same day. And as soon as you break up
with someone, they're like, Ooh, that's all that's my spot in. Right. Right. And I think

(38:33):
that that's so unattractive to me. It is like, I don't, I know. Thank you. I don't need a
shoulder to cry out. I'm a strong ass bitch. I have my friends and I have my family. I
don't need any other man to lean on right now. However, um, that's why I chose to stay
single right now, just so I can relearn myself. But if you are in that dating pool, like I

(38:55):
said, make sure you maintain those values that you want to do. And I mean, try out different
dates during the week, talk to different people. And if they're not, you know, your thing,
keep it moving politely. Don't ghost them. So I'm not really dating, so I don't really

(39:16):
have a lot of things to say on that. But, um, Liz is, I am dating. So what are your
dating? She's dating. Um, so honestly, like my whole thing with dating is I have to find
somebody who has common interests with me so that we can keep it fun. Yeah. And I have
to find people that I'm dating that are going to get along with my friends. Like it sounds

(39:41):
awful, but I have like criteria. You know what I mean? Like why is that awful? Why do
you think that's awful? I think that's values. Yeah, it is to a certain extent because they
can be great on all facets, right? But if they don't get along with my friends or family,
I'm like, no bullshit. Like I'm Jerry Seinfeld with the, with the egg. When I get the egg,

(40:03):
I'm like, it's over. You do get the egg. I do. She gets egg bad. She does. Yep. And I'm
sorry for anybody who's listening that, uh, may and may not know that about me, but I'm
trying. If you don't know, now you know. I'm trying to be better. Um, every day it's baby

(40:26):
steps, but I don't know. You just gotta find what works for you and works for your partner.
You know what I mean? Like you guys have to be able to get along in your life because
if obviously I'm not dating to just hook up, I'm dating to marry. So you're going to be
in my life regardless. So you're going to either get along with my friends and family.
You're going to, we're going to like some of the same hobbies, activities. I'm going

(40:49):
to be starting to get interested in yours. Like I just, I feel like it's a thing. That's
kind of how relationships go. Do you feel like there's amount of time that you should
wait before you go into another relationship? Now this is just my, this is me now genuinely
busting into her story. I think it depends on the amount of time that you were with the
previous person and the person, I think like who you are, like who we are. Right. Like

(41:15):
if it's a, if it was a longterm relationship and like there was, it was deep, deep, take
your time. But if it was just like a little fling, fuck that. Right. Smack you off like
a fucking fly. Right. Christ. No, I get that. Um, I don't know. I think that, um, I think
what it comes down to is of course you need to hold your own, your own morals and your

(41:36):
own values of what you're looking for. I mean, I, I'm not in the dating world anymore. I'm
thank God I'm married committed, you know? So, but when I was, I mean, I always kind
of started off cause I don't like small talk. I'm not a fan of like, Oh, what's your favorite
color? Where would you like to go if you had one place in the world to visit? Where would
you go? I don't, don't ask me those questions. Like I want the deep rooted questions. What

(41:58):
are your beliefs? What, you know, like I started off, like I used to do that. Like what are
your flaws? That'd be the first question I'd ask someone when they start with your flaws.
You know what I mean? Be real with me. I want to know. I don't want to know what makes you
tick. Let me know what makes you take it. I'll give you 30 minutes, a hard, fast 30 minutes.
So we'll sit and talk and I'm going to ask you some of the deepest, hardest fucking questions
that I can think of because I want to know exactly who the fuck you are. She's a great

(42:19):
speed dating, right? Like rapid fire. Yeah. Have a whole bunch of questions like already
set up in your mind of like questions that you're like your deal breakers. You know what
I mean? Like ask those questions right off the bat. Why sit in and fuck around with it?
Do you have kids? Do you want kids? Are you looking for marriage later on in life? Are
you looking to just stay single? Do you believe in marriage? Do you believe in God? Do you

(42:41):
whatever your deal breakers have something you don't want that are, that follows your
values of what you're looking for. Ask those questions right up front because you know
what? Worst case they're going to go, yeah, you're here too much. And they're going to
back off and you're going to go, you know what? Not for me. That's right. And now you're
not wasting weeks, days of starting with small talk and Netflix and chilling before you get
to know who someone is. So ask the questions that are actually super important to you.
And I'd rather someone know upfront and tell me upfront within the first week of us talking

(43:06):
that I'm too much for them than getting invested and two years down the road and him going,
I think this is just too much. Yeah. I do want kids. I do want to get married. Never
mind. It's happened to me twice. No. So yeah, do all those hard talks. Prime example, the
guy that I'm dating right now, we've had all these talks. He wants to get married at some

(43:31):
point again in his life because he did have a wife. You know what I mean? He already has
a son and he's cool with me having a son. Our children are around the same age. You
know what I mean? Do we want more children? I told him I'm good if I don't have any more
kids. You know what I mean? Like one, I love him to death, but one's good. Right. Well
too technically. Well, yes, but for me, like my basically giving before, well before even

(43:54):
having another one, like, you know what I mean? Like I didn't want kids to begin with,
but I'm cool that I have one, you know, now I can't imagine life without him, but he wants
the house. He doesn't want to rent. He wants to go buy a house. You know what I mean? He
wants land. He wants to do all these things. He's got dreams and aspirations of how he
pictures what he calls our life together. And boy, let me tell you when some, when a

(44:16):
man steps in and he's like, this is how I want our life instead of somebody going, well,
this is how I pictured myself with my son. That right there is a turn on like a motherfucker.
Like, I'll flush the daddy. Whatever you need. Smiling ear to ear right now. What's an anime

(44:37):
mouth open? And that was weird. Did you just Korean me? Like, yeah, that's Chinese. We're

(44:58):
starting Mandarin. All right. But anyway, back to the case in point, I think that if
you're, if you're not dating to marry, like I'm not saying marriage is for everybody,
but if you are dating to marry, find out what your partner wants, see if they match up in
your goals because you would know within the first six months, if that person is your person.

(45:22):
Oh yeah. The honeymoon phase is over. Yeah. But I think, I think the first three months
are like the honeymoon phase. Yeah. And then after that three months, I think that first
six months that's when everything leaves and the CEO comes in. You know what I mean? Like
here it is. So give yourself time, give yourself grace, give yourself a little bit of like,

(45:42):
you know, I just, what are you thinking over there? Are you good? No, I just had an epiphany.
Oh, I want to hear it. I just fucking had this epiphany. Well, let me hear it. My ex.

(46:03):
Holy fuck. Even though I knew him, you know, I'm in a relationship standpoint for a year
and a half prior, I thought I knew this man. So I wasn't meeting the representative, but
I was 100 still meeting the representative in that relationship for the first six months.
He was amazing until he wasn't. So that's just mind blowing to me. That was a great

(46:27):
epiphany. I think that was a great way of saying that was a great way of saying that.
Sometimes you need to hear things that may have been said before, but it takes a couple
of times for it to fit in your situation. Yeah. Realistically. So thank you listener.
You and I both got healed. You're welcome. You're welcome. All right. Moving on. Our

(46:50):
next submission says, Hey guys, love the podcast. I've got a tricky work situation. I'm hoping
that you can help me with. I work on a small team and there's this one coworker who constantly
micromanages me even though they're not my boss. They hover over my desk, check in on
progress every hour and even quote unquote offer suggestions on things that I'm already
confident about. I tried hinting that I prefer work to work independently, but they don't

(47:15):
seem to get that to make things worse. They're super sensitive. So any direct feedback might
hurt their feelings and make the office vibe awkward. What should I do? Help. They, you
know what? I remember being in this exact situation with a, with a coworker that shall
not be named. Um, and she liked to sit over my shoulder and try to offer all the help

(47:37):
that was unwanted and she was a thunder current, like a hundred percent. She just, you know
what? She was one of those people that just thought she knew everything and anything and
that the world revolved around her. So in her eyes, it helps that she's been working
at that company since Moby Dick was a minnow. Yeah, I get that. You okay? We, we, we did

(48:04):
that. I was a minnow. You never heard her say that. I always say that. Oh my God. I'm
sorry. She was so caught off by guard by that. Caught off by guard. I can't even speak.
Caught off by guard. Caught off by guard. By guard. It almost sounds like you're saying
it was like an Irish accent. I know. I was caught off by guard. Um, that's funny. Anyway,

(48:28):
continue. Well, that was the end of it. She, she, listen, she just sucked. And honestly,
the best thing, the best thing you can honestly do in this situation is like speak up to her.
And I don't mean like in a, in a disrespectful way, you can like blatantly make the statement

(48:48):
of listen, I'm doing my work. I appreciate your help, but I'm good. Yeah. I don't need
your help. If I need your help, I'll come to you. We have, and if it cause problem,
go to a manager. I'm in. We have the, um, we have the ability to change situations,
whether we think it or not. And whether she wants to make the vibe in the office off is

(49:08):
literally none of your concern. You just keep going about your business. You're doing what
you do. You do it right. That's all you worry about. And I love those ones who are like,
Oh, um, they try to micromanage yet they're on the same level as you. But you get the
same money. Okay. Thank you. You literally have no extra characters. So just, just got

(49:31):
extra characters are just not the kind you want. Oh, I was thinking, I guess I was applying
it. I guess it's not like careers, MD, PhD. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she's, I mean,
just listen, I really appreciate your feedback. Um, I will go to our manager and ask if I
should be doing something differently. Um, but I really do appreciate you checking in

(49:54):
on me. Thank you. Have a great day. That's it. And I know she said about that this girl
was like super sensitive and got her feelings hurt. That's really not your problem. Not
your concern. I mean, honestly, you can say it very respectful, very nice where you're
not trying to be rude and you know, just say, I really appreciate all your feedback and
I've taken all I need, but in the same aspect, I'm good. I got this. Thank you. Yeah. So

(50:16):
sorry. She's sensitive, sensitive, Sally. Jess is the only one here who has worked with
me. However, comma, comma, LOL, LOL. Um, I have this situation at work currently. Okay.
There is a woman. Um, I say women because 90% of the medical field is women. So, um,

(50:45):
she has worked at this company for a very long time, has switched roles a couple of
times, mostly doing the same thing, but like she should know her job. Okay. Um, when she
came in, she was trained by other people, you know, we all do our jobs differently,
but you know, you don't touch other people's work. You don't do this. You don't do that.
Everybody has their way of doing things and it's been reiterated to her, you know, however,

(51:11):
she likes to try and do everybody's work, but not do our own to make it look like she's
doing more than she's actually doing. And there have been several times where we worked
together and I've told her like, Hey, I see that you're, you're trying to work on my stuff.
I got it. Like I appreciate the help. I never said it nicely several times and I've done
this in text form, like email form and through our messaging app that we use at work because

(51:34):
I know that CYA. Oh yeah. Cover your fucking ass because people can misconstrue words
if you say it in person versus what I said on paper. That's right. So I write everything
out and I told her plenty of times like, Hey, it's like, I appreciate you trying to help
me, but like if I need your help, I'll ask you for it. Like, don't worry about it. And
you guys know me very much. So to the point where I'll say it and then I'll say it again

(51:57):
and then I'll say it again and it's not going to be nice. It's hot on the bottom. It's hot
on the bottom. So that is me. If you've ever seen that whole video, that's me a hundred
percent, but I've sat there and I've had to tell her multiple times, please stop touching
my board. Please stop touching this. I have a certain way that I do things so that I can

(52:19):
make sure I have to do them in order. It's like my OCD. So I make sure everything's done
correctly. Right. I don't need you micromanaging me. I know how to do my job. And I actually
had to tell her this just like a week or so ago and told her like, stay in your lane basically.
I said it in a very nice way, in a professional, respectful way. And I said, I read to her

(52:41):
what I wrote. She went to the manager about me. Why? Because she got her fucking feelings
hurt. Oh, and if you're going to be a sensitive Sally yet try and micromanage people, then
you can't, you, you can't be both. What did your manager say? My manager hasn't said anything
other than she came up to me and was like, how are we feeling today? And so I was like,

(53:04):
I'm fine. Why? Cause I'm, I'm, I'm also one of those people. It's like, why the fuck are
you talking to me? You never talked to me any of the other day. So like, why are you
talking to me now? And she's like, I just want to make sure that we're all being team
players and all everybody's attitudes are in place. And I was like, Oh, does this have
something to do with a different scenario? And she was like, no. Okay. Bitch, please.
I love administration. I don't like people. I only like one of my administrators, if I'm

(53:29):
honest, they just are awesome. You know what? Honestly, that's why they're administrators
because we could never, because we're too blunt and we would say too much of what's
on our mind. And, and the administrators are there to act as like the middleman of going,
um, this bitch says something about you. This bitch says something back and I'm just here

(53:49):
to kind of mediate and say both y'all bitches, but I'm going to say, are you okay today?
They're, uh, they're like the parents. They are. And you know what? Like I don't envy
their jobs, but like, the moral of the story is like, you're there to work. You're not
there to make friends. You're there to be professional and you're there to do your job
and go home, you know, take a paycheck home and make sure that you provide for you and

(54:10):
your family. If anybody else wants to sit there and try and tell you how to do their
job, let them, because when it comes down to it, especially in the medical field, their
initials are on it. So if something is fucked up, that is on them. That ain't on me. Check
please. Check motherfucking mic drop, do all the fucking things. Explosions as I walk away.
For real. Cause boy, motherfucking, let me tell you. That's just my notes. Ready? No

(54:34):
new orders received. Period. Sent. That's it. That's fucking it. So I don't know. I,
I hate working with people, but I also, it's a part of life. It's a part of life. I have
to get a choice. You know what I mean? I mean, you do, if you're like a small business owner
and you work at home or whatever the case is, but like, you just work by yourself. Yeah.
I envy people that are, if I can do that kind of thing. Cause could not be me, could not

(54:59):
be me. Well, listen, you know how much we all love chat, JPT, right? So I just asked
the question, how do you professionally say, please stay in your own lane. Okay. So here's
the two best ones. It says, I appreciate your input, but this falls under my area of responsibility.
I'll make sure to reach out if I need assistance or your feedback. Oh, please send that to
me. Cause I will send that to her first thing on Monday morning. And then the other one

(55:21):
says, let's see. Another one. There's two. Also there's three actually. So the one says,
thank you for your perspective, but for now I'm managing this on my end and I appreciate
your trust in how I handle it. And then the last one is acknowledging their intent and
clarifying your role. And that says, I see you're trying to help and I value that. However,
this is something I'm taking care of as a part of my role. Oh, see there's a professional

(55:45):
way to say it without hurting feelings. That's amazing. But I will say what I said back to
her. I did not chat JPT and I just fucking said it and it was still professional. Just
going to send it. Send it send it full send baby. Full send. So, so we're moving on to
our last one. This one says, Hey guys, I'm in my mid thirties and lately I've been feeling

(56:09):
completely burnt out. Poor thing. Between work, trying to stay healthy, maintaining
friendships and a little things and all the little things that pile up. I feel like I'm
constantly running on empty. Taking time off seems impossible because there's always something
that needs to get done. Even the things that I used to enjoy don't feel exciting anymore.

(56:29):
How do you reset when life just won't slow down? And how do you know when it's time to
make a big change versus needing a break? Ooh, honey, you are in burnout. Absolutely.
100% that whole entire message is burnout. Like I'm not trying to make it make light
of something serious, but like learn to recognize burnout for yourself. Yeah. Learn what recognizing

(56:50):
like, that's not your normal pattern. Like now you're going, Oh no, I'm burnt. If there's
no enjoyment in the things that you used to enjoy, that's burnout. That's exactly what
I was just about to say. And that's what it really comes down to is you need to take a
break. Yep. You need to find things to kind of like reset your own brain and do things
that you love your own hobbies. That's out of work, out of all the other stuff and just

(57:14):
take a moment to yourself because you can't fill up anyone else's cup if yours is not
empty. Absolutely. So suggestions coming from a chronic burnout who is, I'm famous for taking
quote unquote time for myself. Um, here's my thing. Create boundaries. Hey, um, just
so you know, I have a lot going on. It has nothing to do with you. Make sure that you're

(57:36):
telling the people in your life that are important to you. This, um, I would just go on, do not
disturb. And that's my time in the do not disturb. When I'm burnt out, I was also getting
really depressed. So also go back to episode, what was it? Eight. Um, and listen to that
and figure out if you're depressed or just burnt out. If you're just burnt out, um, make

(58:00):
those clear statements to your people that you love. Hey, I'm just, I'm feeling overwhelmed
lately. I'm just going to take a couple, a couple of days to myself, turn your phone
on, do not disturb. Take baths with Epsom salt and candles. Meditate or lavender. That's
great. That is great. You need the lavender Epsom salts. Um, don't like bath salts though.

(58:21):
It's not good for you. You end up being homeless people. It's not a way to go in zombies. Uh,
here's the nurse giving advice to go take bath salts. Yes. Take some bath salts. And
this is how people miss this true medical records. I think, um, I think what's important
is cause the question at the end was how to know when it's time to make a big change or

(58:43):
just take a break. I think that like you were just saying, it's so valid of doing those
things, make time for yourself first. And if you're still unhappy after you have filled
your cup back up and you're going, okay, I'm out of burnout and I still am unhappy with
where my life is, then it is time for a big change. Agreed. Absolutely. But first build
yourself back up first. That's great advice. That is great advice. Um, what she said, full

(59:08):
send. That's it. Same bro. Like that. Yeah. No. So like do that. Like read, put on your
favorite show, go sit on your porch, listen to music. I mean, literally like read your
Bible. If you're, if you're religious, like do the beach, go to the waves. Yes. You know
what I mean? Like don't live by the water. Go for a walk, go hiking, go do some, go exercise.

(59:31):
I highly recommend going to live by the water though. Go see a movie. I agree. Go out with
friends. Yes. Just lay in bed and watch movies, meditate, whatever works, whatever helps you
feel better. Have a, have a self day. Like where you go and do your nails done, your
toes done. You go get self tanning done, you know? Yes. You have to find time to make time

(59:51):
for yourself just cause there's stuff that still needs to be done. There's always, there's
never going to be enough time in a day to get everything done. You just have to learn
to stop trying to look at the big picture of it and break it down to smaller pieces.
And then make, make time. Find, not even make time, prioritize time for yourself. Rest is
overrated. What I said, rest is overrated. Wait, underrated. Yeah. I was going to say,

(01:00:14):
wait, you are the queen of rest. I'm like, I think my eyes crossed when I look at me
statement. I'm like, I'll get enough sleep. No, that's so bad. That's so bad. Rest is
underrated. That resets your brain. You create new pathways in your brain when you sleep.
Rest is underrated. Please give your body rest. And I'm talking to you, Jessica Nicole.

(01:00:38):
Like putting my middle name out there. I'm sorry. Do you want to back it out? No, you're
good. Okay. Just want to scratch that. Yeah. Can you scratch me off? Because I'm trying
to double click the mouse. There's so many innuendos here. It's not even funny. I know.
Give your body rest. Listen to yourself. That's important. It is. Also, learn how to read

(01:01:04):
the book called How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LaPera. She is amazing. No, she's not
sponsored. She just pushes this book on everybody. I do. I so believe in it. I do. I do. And
I will continue because we're about to dive in. That also helps. We dove. That's a really

(01:01:28):
good book. We hope we've been able to help everyone today. I hope so. Truly. I hope our
advice helped to a certain extent. Obviously, we're not therapists and we're just as fucked
up as everybody else. Unhinged, if you will. We're a little wise. We've all been through
some pretty... At our age, honestly, we're pretty wise women. We've been through a lot
of shit that we can speak on. But also, with that being said, I really truly would love,

(01:01:52):
and I know all of us would, if anything that we've said, any advice that we've tried to
give you that you've put into motion in your life from what we've said today, update us.
Let us know what's going on. We plan on doing more Chronicles like this. Yes. There will
be multiple Chronicles. Chronicles number one. It is. If you ever want to listen to
the listener stories, just click on that one. It'll be dated with one, two, three, because

(01:02:15):
we'll be doing more of these. Yes, for sure. Because we're not just saying sending your
stories just to go empty. We're saying these because we really want to put these and give
advice. Also, I think I said in previous episodes, yeah, we're cool and we're funny and all that
shit, but also we get bored talking about ourselves all the time. Absolutely. Facts,
bitch. I think on the updated ones, when we actually get updates of these stories, I think

(01:02:36):
we'll do updated Confessions and Chaos will be what it's called for that one. I like it.
So that's when you guys know if it's the updates, if you guys are... I like it a lot....sucked
in with us and wanting to hear more. Sucked in. So with that being said, please make sure
if you guys like this episode that you like, share, and subscribe, as well as I hope that
if you know someone that needs to hear this, please send it to them. You don't know if

(01:02:59):
someone's in the exact same situation as you. I think they're right. And if you have more
stories that you want to send in, or if somebody else has the courage to send their stories
in, please send them to unhingedmemoirs at gmail.com. Please like and follow and subscribe
on all of our platforms, YouTube, Spotify, Pandora, Apple Music. Apple Podcast. You always

(01:03:21):
say Apple Music. I do. I don't mean it. We're not on Apple Music, guys. It's Apple Podcast,
Spotify, on Heart Radio. Whatever. All the places that you listen and podcast on, that's
where we're at. Yes. We're on TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat. Well, we don't know if we're on
TikTok anymore. Oh, that's right. Realistically. Oh, no. But for sure, you can still find us
on Instagram. You can find us on Facebook, Lemonade. Snapchat. Snapchat. Please snap

(01:03:45):
us some funny shit. We can run some streaks with you guys. Hell yeah. That would be funny.
Yeah. Please do so. Unhingedmemoirs on Snapchat. Send us your snaps. We promise that we will
keep a snap streak with you guys. Absolutely. It'll be fun. It will be fun. We will like
it. But until next time, we hope you guys enjoyed the episode and we will see you next
time on episode 12. Bye.