Ep. 12 I'm Too Old For This Shit

Unhinged Memoirs Podcast

Episode Title: “I’m Too Old for This Shit”*

In this episode of Unhinged Memoirs, we’re embracing our inner grumpy grandmas and declaring what we’re officially too old to tolerate. From chaotic group texts that drain our souls to the soul-crushing small talk we refuse to fake anymore—we’re airing it ALL out.

We’ll break down:

• Why group texts should come with a mute button and a warning label.

• The bad fashion choices we left behind (and the ones that haunt us in old photos).

• How staying out late is a personal attack on our mental health.

• The fact that closure is overrated—because guess what? Sometimes the closure is simply not caring anymore.

• And why small talk is the conversational equivalent of a dial-up internet connection: slow, painful, and unnecessary.

Buckle up, grab your beverage of choice (because we’re too old for cheap drinks, too), and prepare for a no-filter rant session that’ll have you shouting, “SAME!” from your car, couch, or wherever you hide from social obligations.

Call-to-Action:

• Follow & Subscribe: Don’t miss an episode—hit that follow button!

• Share Your Unhinged Moments: DM us your “I’m too old for this sh*t” rants on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, X and TikTok

• Leave a Review: Because we’re too old to beg, but we’d really appreciate it.

Episode Quote of the Day:

“The closure is me not giving a shit”

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I just want you to know that I'm sorry.

(00:02):
What's up everyone?
Welcome back to episode 12 of Unhinged Memoirs.

(00:23):
Oh my god, 12.
I know.
Can you believe that already?
How do we fucking make it this far?
I don't know, man.
I don't know, man.
I don't know.
So today's episode, we're dedicating this episode to I'm too old for this shit.
Amen to that.
Because I'm telling you, patience was a muscle.
Mine pulled its fucking hamstring many, many years ago.

(00:45):
It's a fucking fact.
There's a lot of things I don't have time for.
So we're going to be talking about things that we no longer have time for, energy for,
emotional bandwidth for, unnecessary drama, group texts with 47 motherfuckers, anything
that starts after realistically sick of him for me.
I don't think I've ever had a group chat with anybody more than you two.
Really?

(01:06):
That's insane.
I've never done a group work chat.
We have a group, like a Facebook messenger, like a group group on there.
But I don't want all you motherfuckers having my phone number because fuck you.
No, absolutely not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, fuck you.
Hey, I'm Val.
Jess.
And this is where we're going with it.
Absolutely.
You know, it's crazy.

(01:26):
You what?
I was just going to say it's really fucking crazy because I look back at like our twenties
or even like in our teenage years.
And now with this all being our thirties, there's so much shit that I used to be able
to handle that now I can't.
Absolutely.
Like literally just like, I'm like, yeah, no, I'm too old for this fucking shit.
Your emotional bandwidth has been so overly expended throughout the years.
What can't you?

(01:46):
What's your what?
What is it?
Hmm.
What is it?
I think there's so many.
It's hard to just pick one.
Well, honestly, I would probably have to go with the fact of always saying yes to everything.
I for the longest time have been such a big person that would absolutely not have no boundaries

(02:07):
and always say, oh yeah, no problem to everything, to absolutely fucking everything.
And I've gotten to the point in my life where I'm just like, no, fuck that.
I'm not doing that anymore.
Yeah.
You have a very loose idea of what boundaries are.
Oh yeah.
And I still do.
I still, and I realize that.
I will do shit.
And I'm like, oh yeah, it's a win win for everybody else.
I'm like, oh fuck, it's a lose lose for me.

(02:27):
It's called self preservation.
Yeah.
I still haven't learned that one, but in the same aspect I'm, I've learned as I've gotten
older to start saying no and cutting out people that just don't matter.
Yeah I think that was a big thing for me because I took in every all the strays that took in
everybody.
I did everything for everyone.
I've said that before in episodes, but I think you were talking about like all those people

(02:49):
that lived in your house before.
Oh yeah.
And you don't even talk to them anymore.
No, absolutely not.
It was a big of, I, my abandonment issues, I guess.
So I felt the need to constantly hold onto everybody and help everybody and do everything
for everyone.
I realized I can't help the whole world anymore.
No.
So that was a big thing for me as I got older and I got a big case of the fuck it's, and
that was when I was like, you know what?
What changed?

(03:09):
Uh, getting burned too many times, getting burned way too many fucking times in my life
and dealing with the same shit over and over again and realize that 90% of those, I don't
even want to say friendships, acquaintances that I had were one sided because as soon
as I wasn't giving, they were no longer there.
If it was just a, they were in a take situation and I was in a give situation.

(03:31):
They absolutely were.
And once they had no use for me anymore and they couldn't take any more from me at that
point that I was like, all right, we're done.
I think that you just need to learn how to say no.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, like legit.
But she started to.
Yeah.
She's, she's not what four going on five years now, slowly compared to when I first met her.

(03:54):
Yeah.
Different.
Yeah.
It took time.
It's taking time.
It's I'm still a work in progress.
I'll always be a work in progress, but yeah, I mean we all are.
Yeah.
But yeah, definitely learning to set boundaries is a big one for me.
And what does that look like for you?
Fucking learning to say no and fucking stop, stop over giving.

(04:16):
Because half the time I'll, I'll over promise and everybody else under delivers.
That's what it comes down to.
That's true.
Yeah.
That's true.
So that I would say probably the biggest one for me is stop doing so much for everybody
else and start doing more for myself.
Not to sound selfish, but in the same aspect, it's self preservation.
Exactly.

(04:36):
Because I ended up burnt out.
So that's a big one for me is I'm too old to fucking sit and constantly do everything
for everybody else anymore.
I mean, that's really what it comes down to.
It really is about time for you to take a good look at you and what you need and saying
no and making sure that you don't feel guilty in saying no.
Yeah.

(04:56):
That's a part of it too.
It's the guilt thing though, really.
I mean, that's what it comes down to is I have a hard time because guilt for me is so
easily comes right to me.
I'm like, Oh, I said, I'm gonna hurt someone's feelings.
You know what I mean?
But at the end of the day, if they love you and they understand you and they know it's
coming from a place of like making sure you're okay, we get over it.

(05:18):
I know.
Like if there's something that I do to bother you or any of us, it's not gonna like you
setting your own boundaries to me is not going to bother me.
Yeah, no.
And I get that.
I get that.
Right.
I think that's a hmm.
That's a hard one for me, especially with like people I care about, like people that

(05:41):
I'm truly like invested with and like have a lot of time with like I like, for example,
the kids.
Yeah, I have a hard time saying no to them in most situations because that guilt of like,
I don't know, I don't even know what it is, truthfully.
But yeah, getting too old for it.
I was really afraid of people like not.
I don't know, talking to you like I don't understand like what like what is that pulling

(06:05):
away maybe I don't know.
I don't know what it is or people looking at me different judging me remember like how
we were talking earlier.
And you're saying like from your dream right that you had.
Oh yeah, it's kind of like that like it's my own self critic, I guess in a sense of
going you know, how would I feel?
You know, I was telling her I have a dream this morning.

(06:25):
And it was her and one of my co workers that were in it.
And everything that I was saying was being totally 100% out of context, like mistaken.
Like pointing me as manipulative and self centered.
When that wasn't the case at all.
Like we're talking about a tattoo in the dream for some fucking reasons are like you're so
fucking you're narcissistic for wanting your name in the tattoo.

(06:48):
And I was like, I wanted all of our names to represent all of us.
Like and it was just being like totally fucking mistaken.
So it was talking about like when I asked as chatty BT she's my little bitch.
I was like dream interpretation like I saw I saw her in the hall the other day and I
was like, Oh, I gotta tell you about my dream.
And I like totally read her about my dream to said it the same thing with this one.

(07:10):
And it was talking about like, now that you're setting boundaries for yourself, you're afraid
of what people are going to think of you.
Like the new healing you.
Yeah, and I wonder if that's like, that's valid.
That's a valid reason.
Yeah, yeah.
Because like you and here's the thing, you go through different stages in life.
And those who love you like we're just talking about this too.

(07:32):
I did my my church group on Monday and it was talking about like friendships and stuff.
And I brought her up and about the different stages that we've been through.
But we grew and we communicated and all that stuff.
So I wonder if that's what that's what's bothering you, you know, but again, those who love you
and understand you and want to be around you and are willing to work with that relationship

(07:55):
can understand that you setting boundaries for yourself doesn't mean that you hate them.
Yeah, it's that you don't want to continue getting burnt.
I think we all get we all get to that point.
Right.
I agree.
And there's a route that you know, a learning curve.
Proud of you.
Thanks.
Such a fucking boundaries.
I appreciate it.
Um, mine would be mine.
I'm going to go lighthearted on this, like legit, as I just mentioned a few minutes ago,

(08:19):
mine would be anything past six p.m.
I'm over it.
Your sun donors.
No, for real.
For real.
I'm over it.
Like, I don't want to go out.
I don't want to do much of much, especially on days that I work.
I'm like, do you want to go for drinks afterwards?
Oh, no, I don't.
But you think that's just burnout?
Yes.

(08:40):
I think it's a mixture.
I think it's a mixture, too.
I think yes and no.
I mean, you've always had where you like, you know, the sun goes down, you're like,
oh, it's it's time for me to cocoon back into my nest.
Yeah.
But in the same aspect, like, I think part of that also is burnout, because when you're
not burnt out, you're more able to stay out later and do things at a later time to a certain

(09:04):
extent.
But it depends on what we're doing.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm too old to go out to fucking bars.
I'm too.
Right.
Exactly.
I'm too old to go out to bars.
I'm too old to go out to fucking clubs.
Now, here's my thing.
We were talking earlier, like, finding grape.
OK.
That's like a winery.
They have music.

(09:25):
That did not sound like a winery.
I'm just letting you know.
Like we went by, like there was like drunk people walking in, like fucking people dancing
everywhere like in the streets, outside around it, like I meant like hardcore dance like
it was a club.
Right.
OK.
But it's like more of like from what I was told, it's like wine.

(09:46):
OK.
You know, the Kilted Mermaid in Bureau?
Yeah.
Like that kind of vibe.
That to me is not a club.
You know, that's like a different atmosphere.
Have you gone past finding grape yet?
I did a while ago, probably before it was popping.
OK.
So you have to go like on a night where it's popping, like a Saturday night, go drive past

(10:06):
it, like around like 11, 10 o'clock.
OK.
That's a problem.
That's right.
That's what I'm saying.
I'll go drive past it and I'll take a video and I'll send it to you.
How about that?
OK.
So I'll do that.
But we have to play in a couple of weeks in advance.
I need to prepare to be out that late.
Yeah.
No, like legit.
I'm going to have to make sure.

(10:26):
Yeah.
I have to make sure.
My what?
Your moon screen.
No, like sunscreen.
Oh, my moon screen.
I have to make sure that I'm prepared because I need time.
I need to take a nap.
Number one.
Oh my God.
No, like legit.
I'm being so fucking serious.
I'm tired now.

(10:47):
I wake up early.
Like my fucking circadian rhythm.
I woke up this morning on my day off.
My first time waking up, it was like 445.
Eww.
Right.
And then I fell back asleep because I was like, it is my day off.
And then I finally woke up up like I could not fall back asleep.
And it was like 645.
And then I laid in bed.
I scrolled for a couple of minutes and then I got up and started making my bagels.

(11:09):
Like anything after 6 p.m. I'm telling you, I'm just I'm I'm there.
I'm at the.
You're out.
I'm done.
Yeah.
Right.
What about you?
Um, I mean, like I piggyback off both of you, minus the sundowners thing, because.
I don't do anything past 6 p.m. but I don't go to bed either, so.

(11:30):
But I.
I guess like my appearance, like I don't really give a fuck what I look like anymore when
anybody thinks about me.
Like I used to be big on it when I was in high school and when I was in my early 20s
and we were going to the club and we were, you know, giving a fuck what people thought
about us.
Now I'm just like.
As long as my hair is done, I don't really give a fuck.
Ain't that right?

(11:51):
Because if my hair looks like Bushman, I don't want to.
I don't want to go out.
I don't like.
I used to not even go to Walmart if my hair wasn't.
I know.
If wasn't done.
Yeah.
It's time to get ready.
We're going to Walmart.
I know.
Now I just don't go to Walmart.
I just order it online because fuck Walmart.
You know, throw an ass in the dairy aisle.
Yeah.
You know, Walmart is something fierce.
Like that's it.
You know what?

(12:11):
As I'm getting older, that's one.
I don't.
Fuck Walmart.
I won't go to Walmart.
I don't like going to the store period, but Walmart itself, it pisses me off.
Yeah, I'm too old for that shit.
Just walking through the aisles.
I'm like, can you get the fuck out of my way?
Yeah.
Like people walk too slow.
Like, nope.
We used to go in the middle of the night.
Remember when we lived in Vero?
That was like our thing to do.

(12:32):
Before they closed.
Yeah, before COVID when they were actually open open.
I know I miss that.
Yeah.
That was the best time to go though because there was nobody in the store.
That's not right.
I used to play Walmart bingo.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess I'm too old for that shit.
Walmart bingo.
You're never too old to play Walmart bingo.
You can play Walmart bingo at any time of the day.
But I'm not going to Walmart.
Okay.

(12:52):
Well.
Like I'm not, I'm just.
Play your bougie ass target bingo.
I don't know.
Or play Publix bingo.
Publix bingo.
I can do Publix bingo.
Publix bingo, you won't really get that many points, but I mean, I guess we can do it.
I mean, you probably could.
You just got to change up the demographic of what you're looking for, I guess.
Or do Dollar General.
How many women can you see walking around in Lily Poulter?
Go to the Vero Walmart.

(13:13):
That would be bingo.
You'd fucking get points all over the place.
I'm sorry, who?
Lily Poulter.
I have no idea who it is either.
It's okay.
It's okay.
You don't have to look at it.
I promise.
As I'm pulling out my phone to go show them.
Stop.
She's like, they're really colorful.
I used to have her agenda when I was in nursing school.

(13:35):
Her agenda.
She's just, she's that like, um, fashion-y.
Yeah.
I shop at Walmart in Goodwill for my clothes half the time.
So hey, Siri, show me Lily Poulter.
You know, income tax time when I'm like balling on a budget that I go to Target to get like
a pair of pants or something.

(13:56):
She's really colorful.
She is super colorful.
I actually know what you're talking about.
You had a, didn't you have a bag by her?
Yes.
Yeah, I remember.
I had an agenda.
Is she like, like Vero, not Vero.
Yes.
Vero Bradley?
Kind of.
More colorful, more cutesy fun.
No, no, Vero, Vero Wings, uh, the ball gowns.
Oh yeah.
Ball gowns, yeah, no, no.

(14:18):
I don't know if you're Bradley.
Um, no.
Bitch, fuck you.
If you went to the bureau of publics, you get a lot of high class and wear.
Yeah.
It's showing real bad right now.
Well, whatever.
With my Lily Poulter.
As we're sitting here going, who the fuck is that?
That's who that is.

(14:38):
Now, if you said like Drew Barrymore, your pioneer woman, we'd be like, yeah, yeah, one
more brand.
Oh man.
I'm a pioneer woman.
She's got cute stuff though.
See, that's why I would go 100% 100% all the way.
I would take your bear motion all day over a pioneer woman.
All of her, what does she have?
All day, all day, her kitchen stuff, her, her plates, her colors, everything she has.
I guess this is not what we're too old for.

(15:00):
Let's talk about this for a second.
What is the kitchen stuff?
She has the white cop cop.
Yeah.
And you can imagine.
Yeah.
You can match it all.
Isn't her line.
Isn't her line of plates called beautiful or something like that?
I haven't, I'm going to be honest with you.
I haven't seen the plates yet, but I'm sure they're just as gorgeous.
I want all of them.
Every single less one.
Oh my God.
A bird just landed on my car.

(15:21):
Oh my God.
Squirrel.
It's not like we're recording a podcast.
Oh my God.
A bird just landed on my car.
It's so cute.
Everyone, is that an egret?
I don't know.
That's so cute.
It decided to stop and take a rest on top of my car.
It pooped on it.
It did.
It did.
It probably did.

(15:41):
It's okay though.
It's fine.
Here's my thing.
I fucking washed my car a couple of days ago.
But then it definitely did because they always look for the cleanest ones.
I feel like they do.
It's because it's shiny and bright.
Super shiny.
What else you got?
What do you, what do you, what do you, what?
Oh, is it my turn again?
Yeah.
Oh, well, fuck man.
I wasn't ready for this.
You know, I have one, but I'm now in a relationship so it doesn't quite work the same, but it

(16:08):
would be fucking men in general.
But no, period.
Period.
Done.
Podcast done.
Over.
We'll see you next week.
That's a wrap.
No, I mean, okay.
So what I mean is like guys that literally over promise under deliver.
You know what I mean?
Like the, the narcissistic swooping in there, like really hot charm, the fucking love bombing,
all that shit.

(16:28):
Like I think their sex always good.
It's toxic.
I'm just not, you guys hit a nice pitch there for a second.
So listen, no, for real, you may have had good experiences.
Not mine, but anyways, um, yeah, no.
Like I feel like now, especially now I'm going through everything I went through back in

(16:51):
the 20s.
I'd be like, Oh my God, that's such a red flag.
I love it.
Yeah.
Right.
And now I'm like, did you just do that?
And I'm going to call it like even now, like in the real, even in my relationship, like
there's times where I'm like, he'll say something like, that's kind of red flaggy of you to say.
I don't like it.
And then I'm like, okay, stop.
That's just you searching.
You know what I mean?
That's a self sabotage.
So yeah, that's a big one for me would be is that and fucking, yeah, we're too old for

(17:15):
it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The fuck boys.
Yes.
Yeah.
I don't want those skeaves anymore.
Yeah.
No, I'm a mom now.
I have to class it up a little bit.
Yeah.
This is true.
Or the drama too.
That's another one.
Yeah.
All the, all the fucking like I deal with it at work too, where people will come in and
there's like, Oh my God.
And then they're like telling me their story of their life and going on and I'm like, uh

(17:37):
cool, you know, and I put on the customer service voice and I'm like, Oh my God, I'm,
that's crazy.
I'm so sorry.
But in the same aspect, I'm like, dude, I don't even want to fucking hear it anymore.
Like I can, I almost to a point like that your regulars that used to have that used
to come and hang out who would just try to jump on you.
Not that I feel bad for them, but they're meeting a different version of you.

(17:59):
Like they are and they're not back then they were meeting the normal version of me because
I would be therapist.
That's what I'm trying to get at.
Yeah.
We're not in that mode anymore.
No, no.
Like we're not doing that.
That's why I don't ask questions anymore.
I'm so sorry you went through that.
That really sucks.
Yep.
Because I've gotten to the point that I'm like, I'm done being everybody's therapist.
Legit.

(18:20):
That's where I'm at right now.
Yeah.
I'm reaching that.
Yeah.
That's learning to set boundaries for yourself again.
That's the notes.
Hey, that is one nut realizing I guess.
Yeah.
It's learning to shut the fuck off and realize that, you know, and here's the big thing.
Like even, and this can go for anybody, but like when you're at work, like we build like

(18:41):
this close knit family, right?
And sometimes like that family can overtake your work life in a sense, like when you show
up at work, you know what I mean?
And for me, like, I know there's been times where I've had to be like, listen, especially
when I was working in the doctor's office, the last one I was working out, I had to be
like, listen, I'm all down to listen to whatever you got to say, but you got to give me a little
bit.

(19:01):
Like I need to get my shit done first and then we'll talk and, and realize I need to
set that boundary for myself because I'll get caught up in talking to them.
And I'm like, shit, now I'm falling back on my own work.
I we just talked about this.
Yeah.
I am 100% dealing with that.
I'm so, I called her freaking, I'm freaking out cause I'm my little hub, my little office,

(19:27):
that door is always open.
And when I tell you it's like fucking grand central station, I don't go, I literally,
I shit you fucking not.
I don't go more than five minutes.
If that, if I reach that without someone coming in and talking to me flattered, thank you
that you want to come in.
That's like a safe space for everyone to come and talk and whatever.

(19:49):
But at the same time I'm at work.
So while they're sitting in there and I'm trying to look at the computer and I'm looking
patients up and they're still talking to me as I'm looking these patients up, I need to
focus.
I, I'm, I'm at work.
I'm doing work.
So I finally had to go listen.
I don't mind if we talk.
I really don't mind it.
I'm actually, I'm, I'm grateful that we have that chance to talk and I'm grateful that

(20:16):
we all have a close relationship that we want to talk about our day with.
I'm so grateful for that.
However, I'm still at work.
I need to make sure that I'm getting my stuff done because I'm now starting to take stuff
home because I'm not getting it done here and I don't want to be doing that.

(20:36):
Like there was like the epic training that we're doing.
I went to go do some of the training and I, I found myself not having time to do that
training at work because everyone's coming in and telling me, Hey Val, I need this.
Hey Val, I need this.
Hey Val, I need this.
You know what I mean?
And it's stuff that they could find someone else to do, but they choose to come to me.

(20:56):
Thank you.
Because I know you're reliable, right?
But at the same time, it's overwhelming because I can't be everything to everybody at the
same time.
Yep.
I feel that.
So that's frustrating.
So that is a boundary.
And I did say that after we talked that day, I did tell them that I was like, listen, make
sure my stuff is done before we, we talk.

(21:18):
Yeah.
Cause I need to, I need to do that for myself.
Cause I don't want to be taking things home because I'm sitting here listening to everyone
else or helping everyone else.
You know, and I don't mind helping, but I need to make sure my stuff is getting done
because I am at work.
Yeah.
And it's hard.
It's hard to decipher when to tell them that, you know, it is because I love them all.
They really are like family.

(21:38):
I'm with them.
They become your family because you're spending more than five days a week, half the time,
you know what I mean?
Like you see them more and you see your real family.
Yep.
That's what it comes down to.
So that becomes your second family.
It really is.
It's funny you say that because I literally just read an email to my admins where I was
like, listen, like paraphrasing it, like I love my job, but also there's some stuff that

(22:02):
needs to be going on.
You know what I mean?
Like there's stuff happening that's causing issues between the other Hucks and you know,
all this kind of stuff and work's not being done and it's being put on everybody who actually
does the work and it's just not fair, you know?
And since then, like my managers have been doing the kid hands.

(22:24):
Is everything okay?
Are you okay now?
Don't be passive aggressive with me.
You know what the fuck is going on because you literally like feed into it.
And so like the other day when we had 115 patients in the fucking ER, I sent that in
our group and I was like, meanwhile in the ER, I was like, what the fuck?

(22:45):
And I came in that the day before that Friday before, okay.
We had 115 on Saturday, right?
Was it Saturday or Monday?
One of the days.
It's just been busy.
Yeah, it was Monday.
Okay.
So that Friday before I came in and I was supposed to do my regular shift and there
was no Hucks at 7am.
So my admin sitting at my desk and she literally goes, can I hug you?

(23:11):
Hug with her arms open and I was like, um, yeah, what's up?
And she was like, I don't know how to do your job.
Yeah.
Oh, she's like, I'm your manager and I don't know what I'm doing.
And I'm going, which she's a nursing manager.
Okay.
So I know she should know more about nursing than she should about Hucking, which is that's
fine.

(23:32):
But also at the same time, like how many people do you have in your department?
You know what I mean?
So then she was like, second bad news is you're going to have to clean up the board because
me and my other boss basically screwed it up.
And oh, by the way, you're by yourself.
Oh my God.
But we got somebody from the other hospital to come over.
Also she's never worked here before.

(23:52):
Oh my God.
Um, so you're going to have to train her and then you're going to have somebody sitting
with you that you're going to have to train and refresh so that she can fill in next time.
Holy shit.
I'm starting to get hives for you.
Like I was sitting there going, I looked and I went, oh, that's why I got a hug.
Yeah.
It was a soft in the blow.
Right.
That's like, here's your pizza party.
So then they brought in this, the lady who trained me and she was only there for like

(24:14):
four hours, which I'm grateful for because it helped me clean stuff up.
But she came over to me in the midst of the other girl from the other hospital, me training.
I have literally six doctors talking to me and then I have a row of nurses standing in
front of me and she walks up to me and she's like, well, why wasn't this, this, this and
this done?

(24:35):
And I literally looked at her and I paused.
I was so proud of myself because normally I'd been like, who the fuck are you talking
to?
But I turned around and I put my hands together like this.
And like, you know, when you're sitting like a mob boss or whatever, I put my hands like
this, she's like, wait a minute, I gotta explain this.
So I started doing this and I just looked at her and I was like, and I said her name.

(24:59):
I was like, eh, I understand you're frustrated.
I understand that you feel like the work should have been dispersed better.
I was like, but I'm a little overstimulated right now when I have 40 people on my back
and then I have you coming to complain, complain to me that something wasn't done.
I said, you need to figure it out and it's not going to be with me.
And I like put that boundary there and she just looked at me and she went, okay.

(25:22):
And she walked away.
I'm proud of you.
Cause I was just like, I couldn't do it.
And my doctor was standing behind me and he just kind of looked at me and he put his hand
on my shoulder and he was like, that was a very nice way of telling her to get the fuck
out of your face.
It was my professional thing.
I was like, I mean, but it's, it's, it's, it's a boundary.
You know what I mean?

(25:42):
Like I, and I talked to Jess about it the other day.
Like I'm, it's a fucking learning curve, like a motherfucker.
Okay.
But I'm, I'm trying to learn how to not react so quick to bullshit.
Yeah.
It's again, it's a learning curve.
It's a learning curve and it's like micro baby steps.
Okay.

(26:03):
But I'm trying.
I'm proud of you.
That's a great job.
That's a great job.
I know that shit sucks.
It does.
But you're doing really good.
I'm proud of you.
I'm learning.
Like I'm, oh, I'm trying.
I know I'm not doing that great.
Honestly.
I know I'm not cause I catch myself, but like I'm sitting there going, okay, you gotta think
about it first.

(26:23):
Remember when you told us like a long time ago, when something was irritating you in
a relationship, you would sit there and go, what are the three things I love about this
person?
It's kind of like that same concept, but instead of saying like what I love about them, it's
what are the consequences if I just fuck them up right now?
I mean, it works.

(26:43):
It works.
If it stops, you should, it works.
Yeah.
What, what's really going to happen if I just judo chop them in the neck right now?
Yeah.
I'd be probably fired.
I would be.
Yeah.
I'm fired.
Yeah.
It just, it's not going to work out.
It's not going to work out.
So for one reason I like, I like money too much.

(27:03):
Yeah.
So that's one of my boundaries now.
Proud of you.
Telling people like, I need you to give me some space.
Yeah.
So I feel that.
And I'm going to bring up what you had brought up earlier.
I am definitely too old for the fucking group texts because that one is so rough.
Like I know like the kids will put me in them and then like they'll bring their friends

(27:25):
in and I've had them like where I've got like fucking 15 people in my phone.
It's like, and I'm like, I don't even want it anymore.
Like when I was younger, I remember being all about it.
Like, oh my God, like who can we bring in here?
This conversation stuff.
And I do remember when we used to get on Facebook or my space and fucking like spam comments
and we'd have like over a hundred and something comments on the post because we were just

(27:45):
going back and forth.
Yep.
It felt the same way.
Now I'm like minimal.
You're just getting the minimal.
No, like legit.
Like legit.
It's too much, especially like when you have a lot going on in your life.
I mean, you have too much going on in your life for that shit to happen.
Good night.
My phone already goes nuts.
So I was gonna say, I think if it went off anymore that she would literally chuck it.
Yeah.
Yeah.

(28:06):
Yeah.
It does.
And then shave her head bald.
Like she would just call it a fucking 2007.
Yep.
That's exactly why we remember that year for that.
Why is that?
That was iconic because Brittany was like a role model.
She was fucking her and Justin Timberlake in sync, Backstreet Boys.
Those were our life back then.
That was staple.

(28:27):
So when she went fucking nuts, it almost felt relatable.
Yes.
But also I was a little worried.
I was like, Oh my God, the painted pictures of my favorite idols are no longer.
And that's what stuck with me.
I was like, Oh my God, Britney Spears is shaving her head.
It's only 2007.
Like, yeah, no.
Wow.
It's only 2007.
Why didn't she wait till 2020?
Wait until we're older.

(28:49):
Like, why?
Yeah, no, I totally remember that.
And with the group text, dude, yo, I can literally pull out my phone right motherfucking now.
Our work group chat.
Now I wouldn't change it for the, I wouldn't change it for the world because someone got
a boob job.
Oh.

(29:11):
And someone was going out on leave for said boob job.
So when said person was texting the group about, Hey, I'll be gone.
Make sure this, this, this, this happens.
Right.
We're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, show us your tits.
You know what I mean?

(29:33):
Did she?
Not in the group.
No, she sent them separately.
Yeah, but not, not anything like revealing to another person, but enough to show, Hey,
I got the boobs.
But the point is, is that we're all texting in there, like different emojis of boobs and
comments.
And so that's when it became fun.

(29:54):
That's when I didn't mind it.
But like, you know, when I have my day off, like today, I usually hide my alerts.
I don't hide it when I'm working because that's usually where we go.
Hey, who has these charts?
Hey, who has this blah, blah, blah.
But on my days off and that shit's going off at 7am, like this morning, uh, no, that's

(30:16):
what we're not going to do.
So that's where my boundary lies.
Um, so I can't do that.
I will not do that.
Too old for that shit.
Too motherfucking old.
Um, another thing that I would like to point out is that I am not doing small talk anymore
with people.
I was just thinking that.
Like I, okay, first of all, I commend you for going to the work stuff like the Christmas

(30:47):
party.
I wish I could.
I really do because I don't know if it's social anxiety for me.
Oh, trust me.
It was there.
It was there.
Oh, it was a hundred percent there because I know that that shit's fun.
It is.
And with small talk, I, that's what keeps me from these things.
I don't like small talk.

(31:08):
Do you know what I did the whole time I was there?
Please tell me.
I sat in the dark corner, like at a back table and literally like watched everybody be fucking
drunk out of their minds while I was sober.
Like I had one drink and I'm just sitting there watching everybody.
I could do that.
Like the girl that went with me, love her to death, but she was fucking obliterated
to the point where you had to drive her home.

(31:30):
I had to drive her home.
I hand her her ID and her, her debit card, hand it to her.
She loses her debit card within a two second span.
Doesn't find it for two or three days.
No, it literally fell on the lines on the like where the, um, uh, where you park your
car.

(31:51):
No, and it just laid there cause it blended in and she didn't see it until she was out
in the daylight.
Shut the fuck up.
Like she was so drunk as she was walking.
She was falling over.
She was swaying.
She was swaying real hard.
I was like, are you on the first floor?
Please say you're on the first floor.
And she's like, I'm on the first floor.
I was like, okay, great.
Cause I'm not walking you up the stairs.
Oh my God.

(32:11):
Poor thing.
She looked rough.
Did she?
She looked rough.
She was slamming fireballs in the back of her car as soon as we pulled up to the venue.
This is why I love ER people.
And she slammed a, like she showed me something that I'd never seen before.
It was like basically like a vodka tonic, but without the tonic in there, like without
tonic water.
No, it was like a, like a sparkling vodka almost.

(32:34):
Oh, and it can.
So it looked like an Alani.
Oh, but it was, it was good.
Yeah.
And she's like, here, drink this.
And as we're walking, she handed me two.
I drank two of them on the way up and I was like, what is this?
Cause like it, it didn't hit me.
It didn't do anything.
What's it called?
I don't remember.
I'd have to ask her, but she's like, do you want fireball?
And I was like, nope.
And churned out.

(32:55):
We talked about that.
That's a hard pass.
I know, but she's still, she's in her like mid twenties.
Oh, so fireball is still like a hundred percent.
Oh yeah.
See, this is why I can't go for 27 year olds.
She hasn't been burnt out.
That's proof right there.
I was telling her, so there was a, speaking of small talk, there was a guy who messaged

(33:15):
me yesterday.
Well, he friend requested me first and I was like, why does he look familiar?
And I was like, we have two people in common, whatever.
I'll add them.
So then he messages me, he's like, Hey, how are you?
And I was like, good.
How are you?
Do we know you or do we just have mutuals?
And he's like, we just have mutuals.
And he's like, do you want to get to know me?
And I was like, thank you, but no, thank you.
Yeah, no, no, no.

(33:36):
And then I felt like an asshole.
And then we were talking for like a couple of minutes and then it come to find out.
I was like, how do you know such and such?
And he's like, well, I used to work with them.
And I was like, weird.
So did I.
They were on my travel assignment.
One was a travel nurse in the other, or one was a charge nurse in the other one worked
in the ICU.
And I was like, so did I.

(33:57):
I was there in 2021, 2022.
And he's like, so was I, I used to work nights.
And then he's like, Oh my God, I do remember you.
He's like, we've had a conversation.
I went to go give you my number, but I got shy.
And I was like, well, thank God, because I was engaged.
That wouldn't have worked.
And so yeah, like it started off a small talk and then, and then I just kind of ghosted

(34:18):
it because now he's not ugly.
Has nothing to do with his looks.
He's just young.
He's 27 and he's like, how old are you?
And I was like, I'm about to be 37.
We're not doing that.
And I was like, I'm in a different stage of my life.
And first of all, I like to be single.
I'm really enjoying being single.
So thank you, but I'm not doing it.

(34:41):
And then later on he texted me, he's like, we don't live far from each other.
We should like go out some night.
And I'm like, and I left him on read.
I feel bad.
But like he's young.
And then he listens to the podcast and then finds out the real reason why he didn't need
to.
Why not just be some bullshit?
Yeah.
If you're listening, I'm sorry.
It has nothing.

(35:01):
You're cute and all, but I'm just, I'm, I'm just, I'd feel too old.
I need to go to someone who has a lot.
I've gone through a lot and I feel like someone at 27 hasn't gone through half the shit that
I've gone through and I need someone to be like my partner and coach through certain
things.
I don't know.
Look up to and not.

(35:22):
Anyway, it's not a short joke.
No, no, no.
Oh, that's so fake.
Right.
That's not it at all.
It's not it at all.
But I just, I don't know.
I need someone older and I just can't and small talk just bothers me.
And I just, and here's my thing.

(35:44):
Going out with someone right now, like even if it was a friend level, obviously there was,
what we were talking about before there was interest and like, I'm really trying to be
single.
So if you're just trying to go out and hang out and be friends, it's not going to be friends
because there's an interest.
Right.
And I'm not doing it.
I feel that I'm not doing it.
I understand the small talk too though, cause I'm, I'm that way too.

(36:06):
Now I noticed like I mean, me and Eric had went into one of the stores on the times and
one of my old customers from envy who I was actually like pretty close with, like we would
talk all the time when she, when she'd come in and stuff and I'd spotted, I'd spotted
her and I was like, oh shit.
I know like what this is going to be like, Hey, how are you?

(36:26):
How you been?
Great.
Okay.
See you later.
And I literally like, I avoided it like, yes.
And I was like, pretend like I didn't see him.
I was like, yep.
I want to do it.
Like I, and it's not because I don't like them because they're an amazing person.
It's just small talk is right.
Like I'm just like, I don't have time for it.
You're just getting, we're just going to ask how each other's been.
Good.
Good.
Have a great day.
It was nice seeing you.

(36:47):
And I'm like, for what?
Why am I going to waste my time?
Exactly.
Like I'll see people all the time.
I seem like, yeah, okay.
They're there.
And unless they're coming up to me, you know what I mean?
If they don't, if they don't make the move, I don't make the move because I don't have
time for it.
No, really.
And realistically, and realistically, if you're going up to people and having small
talk and they're like, Oh, how are you?
Are you really going to trauma dump on them?

(37:07):
And well, this is wrong and this is wrong and that's fucking sucks.
No, I'm good.
So what's no, no.
No, you know what I like in the mornings when I go into work?
Good morning and keep it, keep it moving.
Yeah.
That's as far as my small talk go, go.
Cause I don't.
You get a good morning.
Huh?
We don't, we don't say good morning.
Oh my God.
We do.

(37:27):
We just go, no, you're back again.
What's up?
You should have slept here last night.
I know.
Um, no, I hate like if I go to get lunch.
Okay.
And I'm already again, oh my God.
Hi.
Over stimulated.
I walked to the cafeteria that's on the other side of the hospital, get the fuck away from
everybody I know.
And right.
And then I run into somebody over there and I'm like, that's thank you.

(37:51):
That's what I'm getting at.
I don't like, I'm already fucking grand central station.
I'm just going to, I'm going to get my sandwich.
All I want to do is get a fucking sandwich, get back to my thing, close my motherfucking
door, close the fucking curtain so no one can see in and have my lunch.
I don't even get that half the fucking time.
Cause I'm pulled.
This one doesn't feel good.
This one needs an IV and this is why Valerie for anyone listening, this is why Valerie

(38:15):
doesn't clock out.
I don't have fucking time.
I don't have time.
And then I'll run into someone over there while I'm getting my sandwich.
Oh, how's it going?
Da da da da.
Like I don't, I, I just want to be loved alone.
No, like legit.
I really would like to fucking, I really wish that there was a social, like a social queue.
I wish that maybe we had like stickers on our forehead or we don't talk to me.

(38:35):
Yeah.
Or a certain color fucking bracelet.
And when that thing is turned on, don't fucking talk to me.
Like I'm on break.
I'm trying to mentally shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
This is triggering me.
It bothers me.
Everyone.
If anyone also from work is listening, if I'm walking away from this situation, please
don't fucking talk to me.
I love you.
I love you.
But I need a minute.
I, I need a minute now talking about it.

(38:58):
Clearly.
Oh, I'm triggered.
Okay.
Bottom line.
Stop fucking talking to me.
Cause I also do a podcast where I have to talk and talk to you guys so you can listen.
Oh, will you say like it's a bad thing?
Oh shit.
It's not a bad thing.
But what I'm getting at is I constantly fucking talk to people.
I'm going to say that I can empathize with you.

(39:19):
Yeah.
Cause when I get home from work, I don't want to talk to anybody.
Yeah.
I know.
I see it.
Like I get home from work and I read your social cues and like, yep, I'll leave her
alone.
Yep.
Like I just, cause I talk all fucking day from the minute I walk in to the minute I
clock out.
Yep.
I'm talking and I'm going, I know my brain can't handle anymore.
I know.
Like it really, like it takes me or as it is two hours to like settle before I can actually

(39:45):
go to sleep when I get home.
Oh yeah.
I get off at 11 30 at night.
I'm home by 12.
I shower so I'm not going to bed until like two, two 30.
And then I'm up again at nine because I got to get ready for work again.
Yeah.
So like yesterday I don't ever sit outside, but because of how the past two days have
been at work, I literally like, I normally just go sit in the atrium and I like on the

(40:09):
you know, where the big windows are.
Yep.
I normally go sit right there because it's just nice and peaceful and somebody plays
a piano and it's just nice.
Yeah.
Or the other day somebody was playing the fucking violin, but whatever.
Really?
Yeah.
I was like, Oh, this is nice.
But I was like, I can't fucking do it.
I can't fucking do it.
I can't fucking do it.
So I took my happy ass with my cup in my water and everything.
And I just went and sat outside at the tables.

(40:31):
And that was as I'm sitting down, I was like, I wonder how many homeless people have sat
here or banged on these tables.
Oh my God.
Whatever.
Anyway, have you seen the guy that's that's living outside of the bus pickup by the parking
lot?
No.
Yeah.
So every time I pull in, like if you come through the cul-de-sac, the cul-de-sac?

(40:51):
The roundabout.
The roundabout.
The rune-de-boot.
The rune-de-boot.
Not the first one, but the second one.
As you go to take a left into like the doctor's parking lot.
Not.
Yeah.
Anyway.
So you know that that glass thing where you wait for the bus?

(41:14):
He's living in there.
He's been living there for the past month or so.
That's so sad.
And it's the same dude.
He's an asshole.
He probably comes in the ER, honestly.
It's the same dude that when Eric got into his car accident and I was taking your youngest
to the cafe to go get coffee and he talked about the baggy pants.

(41:35):
Same dude.
I think I know who you're talking about because...
Madded hair.
Yes.
So that person, sad story short, he's not from here.
He somehow, like he's from like up past Rockledge.
And somehow he made it down this way, I guess.

(41:57):
And he was in COC.
And then they booted him out.
And he's had nowhere to go.
So that's probably why he lives there.
It's still really sad though.
It is sad.
It is sad.
But when he comes in the ER, he's a fucking dick.
Yeah.
Oh God.
He'll come in there.

(42:17):
Like he's an asshole to people.
Like I hate...
Listen, I'm not being...
I'm not...
Please, I don't want anyone thinking that I'm just being fucking entitled and an asshole.
But this guy is genuinely...
He's mean.
Yeah.
Like he's not even...
He's not even homeless and be mean.
But it's another thing like when you're homeless and you're nice, then I'm going to feel sorry
for you.

(42:38):
You know what I mean?
But like you're being a total jackass to everybody.
Yes.
Yes.
I still feel bad.
No, I still feel bad that he's homeless because I don't like to see people out in the elements
like that.
Like no one should be living like that.
Like we load him up with food.
We give him blankets, everything.
So yeah, he's just...
But she will still tell us to go fuck ourselves.
Yeah.
Daily.
Yeah.

(42:58):
I wish he...
I wish we gave him like a refillable cup, like a big thermos one so when it's hot, we
could just fill it up with ice for him.
And he like still...
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's just...
He's mean-spirited, which if I was in that situation, I might not love life either, but

(43:21):
be nicer.
Yeah.
I mean, I get that.
But again, I guess it comes down to you don't know what they're going through.
That's true.
Either way.
Okay.
Another one for me that we may agree to disagree on.
I am too fucking old for needing closure.
That is a big one for me.
Like I back in the day would search for closure, whether it be with relationships, friendships,

(43:44):
whatever the situation may be with family, I no longer talk to them, whatever the situation
is.
My whole thing was I was always like, but why?
My why needed to be an explanation.
I needed to understand why we were no longer talking or why there was an issue in the relationship
or why it was to the point it was at.
And I think the older I got, I just kind of realized my why could just be an indifference

(44:05):
of I don't care.
I don't need an explanation.
If we're no longer going to be talking, if we're no longer going to be friends, if we're
no longer being in a relationship, if we're no longer going to be communicating and we're
family, whatever.
I meant that's your choice.
If that's what it is, it is what it is.
I don't care anymore.
I'm done.
I'm done trying to constantly search for an explanation of why like needing justification
for the situation that releases so much pressure off of people.

(44:28):
Cause I'm starting to what I've learned too from that is that not asking the wise a form
of self love.
Yeah.
Like accepting who it is or accepting what it is, accepting who you are and moving forward.
Right.
Because when you're asking why you're constantly like, why am I not good enough?
Why are you wanting to give up on me?

(44:48):
Why?
I mean, it's just, it's, yeah.
I mean, I learned that my last relationship I stopped, I wasn't trying to look for closures
like it is what it is.
We're done.
I'm proud of you for getting that point.
Yeah, that's huge.
Yeah.
A lot of people need that closure and I get that.
I was, I was searching for that too, but I think once you start getting a foundation
of yourself, maybe that's also why people do it.

(45:10):
Cause you're not, you don't have a solid foundation of, unless it's out of the blue though, like
I feel like there's exceptions to the rule on that because what happens if like you're
in a total committed relationship and then you come home one day, like they're fucking
gone.
I'd, I'd want to know why.
Is that really, is that really you looking for closure or you just try and understand

(45:30):
what's going on?
Both.
Both.
I don't know if that'd be looking for closure with that.
I'd just be trying to understand.
Like if someone, okay, that I feel like that's a different situation.
If someone just out of the blue broke up with me and we were like perfect and I didn't feel
there was any problems and we weren't communicating that there were any problems.
And I just came home one day from work and they were just gone up and gone and left no

(45:50):
note, no nothing.
Like just disappeared.
I'm going to go, what the fuck that to me, that's a different situation.
Cause it wouldn't be that I'd be looking for closure because in that moment I'm not searching
for closure.
I'm searching for what the fuck happened.
You know what I mean?
I feel like that's a different scenario in that situation to me at least, maybe I'm wrong.
Yeah, no, I get it after you explained it like that.
Yeah.
But like, because at that point I'm not ready for closure.

(46:13):
I'm not ready for it to be ending.
You know what I mean?
So in that situation, I'm why, what happened?
I don't understand if everything is good, but if the relationship's already like bad
and toxic and it's been nothing but fighting and problems and everything, you already know
why.
Why are you asking why?

(46:33):
That's true.
That's fair.
Why do you need the closure?
Why do you have to, I'm sorry for everything I did.
Are you sorry for everything you did?
Okay.
I love you anyways and maybe one day we can be friends and no, fuck that shit.
Like if you're out, I'm out, you know, as simple as that.
Like that's what it really truly comes down to.
Like I don't have time to sit and keep focusing on the past if I'm moving forward because

(46:57):
if I'm keep looking backward, I'm not taking the strides.
I need to go move forward.
I feel like I did that.
Like I obsessed when me and Dee just kind of stopped, right?
Right.
I did.
I can look back now and go, no, I was, and you were searching for closure.
I was searching for closure and I was hurt, like hurt like a motherfucker.
I still to this day, that motherfucker hurt me worse than anything.

(47:18):
And I think it was because I thought everything was great.
And in reality it wasn't and that's fine.
But now I'm looking back at it going, why the fuck would you sit there and bitch he
left.
He bounced out and ghosted out like, bye.
Peace be with you.
You say it also with you.
That's what you need to be saying.

(47:39):
Yeah.
I'm also with you bitch.
Peace out.
Except you're just going to put one finger down.
Yeah.
I just, uh, and then like running into him at the hospital that one day I was like, Oh,
what do you do in here?
You know, I ran into him.
He was, he was working at the hospital, not like working for the hospital.

(48:01):
Like, so he's an electrician, right?
And they were having problems with the tank outside by the ambulance bay.
So he was there fixing it.
When was this?
A year, a year and a while ago.
Yeah, no, this is a long time ago.
And this is like actually not long after I started at the hospital.
I mean, working in the ER.
What'd he say to you?
Why don't I know this?

(48:22):
I thought I told you.
I don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure she did.
Yeah.
Or was I, I was disassociated with that.
Tell me again.
You were in NUKEMED.
It's fine.
Was I in NUKEMED?
Or maybe you were in IR.
You were somewhere in the hospital.
Okay.
Why don't I fucking remember this?
Please tell me the story again.
So basically, I don't remember how it happened.

(48:45):
I think I read Cindy Lou.
Sorry, she just scrolled.
There's someone walking outside.
Go ahead.
Sorry.
What happened?
I just want everybody listening right now to know this is basically how most of our
conversations go.
Yeah, she'll have a scroll.
She looked out the window and there's a girl walking and her hair is up like how Cindy Lou

(49:06):
Lou's hair is, it's up in the top little notch thing, but it looks like it's way too high
up and it's pointed up.
There's no downfall to it.
You know how you put a red, like if you were going out on a Halloween, right?
If you're going out on Halloween, you're trying to do Cindy Lou and you put a solo cup on
your hair and then you spray paint it, hairspray it around.
You put the hairspray on the cup so it stands like this and then it has the little tie on

(49:31):
the top and then it's got the little thing.
That's what her hair looked like.
But like burnt orange tried to do red hair.
It looked ratchet.
Anyway, go ahead with what you're saying.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
She's in red.
Oh my God.
Fucking wheezy.
I'm the one with asthma, bitch.

(49:53):
That's why she coughs so much by the way.
Oh, there she goes.
Okay, go back to your story.
Well I don't remember how we got, I think I messaged him because you know, I was still
looking for closure, blah, blah, blah.
I hit him up with those, hey big head, you know?
Yeah.
Uh huh.

(50:13):
But he was like, oh, I'm working at the hospital.
I was like, oh, I'm working at the hospital.
And then I didn't know, but I was coming into work that day and he's walking out.
Yeah, by the heart center.
I was like, uh.
Did he see you?
He did.
You saw him?
He saw me.
What'd he say?

(50:34):
He was like, I'm reinvested in this situation.
Like you didn't tell me the first time.
He was just asking me like how I've been, da, da, da, da.
And thank God I was looking fucking cute that day.
I was wearing my pink scrubs and my hair was long and luscious.
You're so cute.
My makeup was done really, really nice that day.
Thank God.
Fucking thank God.
Because now I don't really give a fuck.
Like I walk in there with just my lashes done and my eyebrows painted on.

(50:54):
I'm good.
Fuck me.
You have natural beauty.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Thanks.
And then he, he was like, can I give you a hug?
And I was like, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Please.
Yes, you can.
Please.
And then, um, he was like, you look really good.
Oh.
And then he messaged me like five minutes after we walked away because I was like, Oh, I gotta

(51:15):
go clock in.
And he was like, yeah, okay.
And he messaged me and he goes, you look really good.
Like you look like you've lost a lot of weight.
Like you just, and I like took that as a backhanded compliment at the, at the time.
Cause I was just like, uh, we were talking about this earlier.
You look good for a big girl.
Like what the fuck does that mean?
I don't give a fuck if I look good for a big girl, a twig girl, a fig girl.

(51:36):
I don't give a fuck what the fuck I look like.
If you don't.
I hate backhanded compliments.
Yeah.
Listen, I said, I said I felt fat.
I didn't say I was fucking ugly.
Ain't that right?
Bitch get the fuck out of here.
Cause I can fix my weight.
You sure enough can't fix your fucking face.
Ain't that right?
Hmm.
Bitch.
Bitch.
I ain't never been told I was ugly.
Now fat.
Big back Betty.
Big back.
Large Linda.

(51:56):
Fat Freddy.
What the hell is going on right now?
Dumb truck Dempsey.
Fat Freedia.
Wide Wanda.
Oh fish.
Shit.
I don't know.
Like I feel like they're going to listen to this and be like, I feel like there's some

(52:24):
resentment there from these two.
I used to be like that.
I used to care what I like truly.
I used to care what people thought about me.
Now like love me or hate me.
I'm still going to be here.
So that right.
You can either look at me or you could turn around and walk away.
I don't give a fuck anymore.
I know.
I lost only a little bit of weight and um, so funny.

(52:46):
I was talking to Brian yesterday and he's like, how's it going with your weight loss?
He's like, you look, you look.
There she is again.
Look at her hair.
I can't see.
Oh my God.
Come on.
Focus.
Fucking focus.
Jesus.
The people who eat people who know us, listen to us.
They get it.
Um, anyway, so I was talking to Brian last night and he's like, um, he's like, how you

(53:06):
going on your weight loss journey?
You look like you lost my weight.
And I was like, actually like I didn't lose that much more.
And he's like, do you feel better?
And I was like, yeah, cause he's like, you didn't need to lose it in the first place.
And I was like, yeah, but I did it for me.
You know what I mean?
But it's comforting to know.
Cause it's like, again, we're our own worst critics.
But I'm like, I don't understand, you know, how we gave so much thought, right?

(53:35):
This goes with, I'm too old for this shit.
How we gave so much thought to how we looked and how much we weighed and all this stuff,
like as if it equals our self-worth.
Yeah.
I'm too old for that.
I wish I was as fat as I thought I was when I was a teenager.
That's a fucking fact.
For real.
For real.
And here's my thing.

(53:55):
As long as you feel good about yourself and you feel good inside, outside.
Oh, I wasn't going to go that far.
Well, inside?
Hello.
Outside?
I wish you guys could see them.
Cause next time I'm just going to close the fucking windows because literally a car drove
by and both of them peaked up like literally like new cats searching out the window.

(54:19):
Oh, look a vehicle.
I wonder who it is.
It was a truck.
I wanted to know if someone was hot getting out of it.
It's an old man.
I mean, things that I'm not too old for.
Looking at men in trucks.
Grandpa Bob.
Grandpa Bob.
I said I wanted someone older, but that's a little too old.
It is.
Well, it depends.
You're going to be shooting powder.
You're going to be shooting powder.

(54:39):
Me and getting kids.
It makes me think of white chicks when he's like, yep.
Speaking of white chicks, one more thing.
Okay.
So one thing that I'm way too fucking old for.
Wow.
No, hold on.
Cause it reminded me of like the way they dressed is the fashion we used to wear when

(55:02):
we were younger compared to now.
Like the fucking, do you remember the low rise jeans that had like the tiniest pockets
that you get maybe half a knuckle in?
Yep.
Those.
Why?
They were so uncomfortable.
Literally muffin top.
And a quarter, all the quarter quarters.

(55:26):
Those are so fucking uncomfortable.
Couldn't do it.
I don't like my ass crack anymore.
No.
Why was that?
Why was that even a thing?
Now we want our pants like right below our boobs.
My grandmother always used to be like, you're not wearing your pants at your waist.
And I'm like, yes I am.
My waist is here.
And I'd like put my hands on my hips and she'd be like, no, it goes up past your belly button.
Like where like you're like, where, you know, you have the, what is it?

(55:48):
The hourglass shape.
That's where she'd put it.
And I'm like, that's too fucking high.
Now I'm like, I totally get it.
Yeah.
As we push our leggings up all the time.
All my leggings are all the way up.
And now it's a style I noticed.
Everybody's like pulling their leggings up with their belly buttons.
Aren't showing shit anymore.
Where before like you were trying to see if you could see your hips when you're wearing
your pants.
Yes.
No, really.
And here's my thing.

(56:08):
I'm sorry, but wearing them up higher makes you look slimmer.
It does.
Especially if you're a little bit thicker.
Yeah.
But it makes it like for me, it's more comfortable.
It is comfy.
Cause the waistband doesn't hit my rolls the same way.
Yeah.
It's like really tight ones and then it feels like it's like suffocating your stomach though.
That's the only problem.
And if you wear the really good ones, they hold your boobs up too.
What?

(56:28):
What?
Yeah.
Like the ones that it's like a little corset and it holds the girls right there while you
have a good bra.
Oh, your pants?
Well, yeah, because it's pushing all the way back.
She said, how high are you wearing your pants?
Oh no, right now I'm not wearing them, but I'm saying like, well, these are not good
ones, but like right now they're on my waist cause I'm sitting down.
Yeah.
You like pull them bitches up to your titties though?
Yeah.

(56:48):
Like I'm doing it wrong.
Like right below, right below.
I just want like a little, just a little, like a little to show.
Just a little, just a little to show.
That was cute.
That was cute.
The things I'm not too old for using the word snackies.
Snackies, comfy's, my jammies.
Snappies.
We're talking about hair asleep.
Cause I have a lot of those too.
Both.
Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
If you did, please like, share, subscribe, and comment.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.

(57:09):
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Dive in.
Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode.
It was fun to do, but it is now time for us to go.
Yes.
Her, her, and her squirrel.
Maybe next episode, she'll dive in.
And I'm about to dive in.

(57:30):
I had to get it out.
I'm just killing, I can see it.
She's over here shaking it.
Did she tell you that I found that song on Apple music and I sent it to her and I was
like now?
Okay.
I can't listen to this song without thinking about it.
Yeah.
I know.
That's fucking awesome.
And she said, I said, make that your ringtone?
Yeah, you should.
Absolutely.
That would be a fitting ringtone actually.
She would just call me randomly just to hear it.
I'm about to dive in.

(57:51):
Right, no, really, seriously.
Well, if you know anybody who'd like to hear this episode,
please make sure you share it on over and send it to them.
Make sure you are liking our page,
sharing it and smashing that subscribe button.
We are on all major platforms for our podcasts.
You can find us on Apple, Apple Podcasts,
Amazon Music, Spotify, iHeartRadio, so forth,

(58:13):
as well as you can hit us up and send us a DM
if you would like to tell us a story
or have anything that you want us to talk about on the show.
You can find us on our email at unhingedmemoirs.gmail.com,
TikTok, Facebook.
TikTok never went away.
Yay.
And Instagram.
Until then.
Snapchat.
In Snapchat.
Yes, we do have the Snapchat chat.

(58:35):
The Snap-A-Dot chat, unhinged memoirs on Snapchat.
Please send us snaps, we want friends.
Yeah, for real.
Nobody's snapping us.
And we won't be the notification that we ignore either.
That's true.
We'll look out for it.
We will.
Absolutely.
But anyways, well, until next time, guys.
Bye.
I