January 8, 2025 • 55 mins
Episode 6: Cringe Chronicles: The Stories That Haunt Us
Welcome to Unhinged Memoirs, where we turn our most awkward, embarrassing, and downright mortifying moments into a source of laughter and healing. In this episode, we’re diving deep into our Cringe Chronicles—the stories that still make us wake up in a cold sweat at 3 a.m.
From accidental wardrobe malfunctions to social slip-ups that would make a reality TV producer blush, we’re spilling it all. And because we don’t believe in suffering alone, we’ve included some of your most cringe-worthy submissions too (don’t worry, names are changed to protect the guilty).
Through the laughter and secondhand embarrassment, we’ll explore what these moments taught us about resilience, self-acceptance, and the healing power of being able to laugh at ourselves.
So grab a glass of wine—or an anxiety blanket—and settle in as we relive the stories that haunt us. Warning: this episode contains uncontrollable giggling, awkward confessions, and enough secondhand embarrassment to last a lifetime.
Got a cringe story of your own? Send it to us at Unhingedmemoirs@gmail.com or DM us on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, or Snap! You might just hear it on a future episode.
Let’s laugh, cry, and cringe together—because life is too short to take ourselves too seriously.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I just want you to know that I'm sorry.
(00:02):
What's up everyone?
Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged Memoirs.
(00:23):
Today on Episode 6 we are talking about cringe chronicles and the embarrassment that haunts
us and also the shit that we hate to admit.
I'm Val.
I'm Jess.
And I'm Liz.
I would like to start out by saying and giving a full disclaimer, if you are any a part of
my family.
Or any of our families for that matter.
Or any of our families, get the fuck off this podcast for right now.
(00:45):
You're not welcome.
I mean my family's welcome.
They know my story.
Well they do.
That's true.
So just fast forward to like the last part of the episode.
You can only listen to hers, okay?
Yeah, really.
I know.
Fast forward the rest.
I'll fuck out.
Could you imagine?
I don't want your family.
No, no.
I couldn't look at her mom in the eyes and be like, hmm, hey mom.
I know my story.
I'm just starting to realize I may be a little more straight edge when I was younger than
(01:05):
you guys.
No, I know.
It's crazy.
No, I don't mean that in a bad way.
I just mean like, you know, my life was different a little bit.
I didn't get out like you guys did.
You know what I mean?
I didn't get to go to real high school.
I was home school for high school.
You know what I mean?
And be thankful because you don't have these nasty stories.
Hey.
Well technically, no.
Mine was, I was in my wherewithal.
(01:26):
Yeah, you were.
You were with your who?
I was with my wherewithal.
I'm not really sure what that means, but she wasn't early 20s.
Wherewithal.
I was with my wherewithal.
Can you use that in a sentence that I can understand?
I was, hey Siri.
How can I use wherewithal in a sentence?
(01:47):
I'm really surprised you actually didn't just chat GPT it.
Oh, that's true.
Jatt, how would I use wherewithal in a sentence?
You know what?
Hold on.
Siri doesn't know either.
That's true.
So I'm good.
No, stop.
Hold on.
I'm sorry.
I didn't quite catch that.
But my Siri did.
What the hell?
How do I use wherewithal in a sentence?
(02:11):
She don't know either.
The word wherewithal refers to the means or resources necessary to accomplish something.
Here are some examples of how.
Personal determination.
He had the wherewithal to bounce back from failure and start again.
So the audacity.
There we go.
You're trying to be fucking fancy.
Wherewithal.
(02:32):
Fucking audacity.
I mean the audacity.
I guess that's something of going like, I cannot believe that you just fucking did that.
The audacity of that bitch.
No, I have my wherewithal to make sure that it's like.
I can't.
I fucking can't.
I can't say that I've had the audacity to be what I was in my mid twenties, but I had
(02:57):
my, no, I didn't even have that.
I had no fucking audacity.
You were just unhinged.
No, I was.
I really was.
I mean, at this point, weren't we all?
So check it.
One, two.
This is a story all about.
My life got flipped, turned upside down.
All right.
So I would like to point out that sometimes in our fucking lives, we make decisions that
(03:19):
are not becoming of us, very not becoming of us.
So it is in the summer of 2016.
I was 28.
I wasn't in my young twenties.
I thought it was like 2013, 2014.
(03:39):
It was 2016.
Oh yeah.
We were at the blue house.
Never mind.
So we were.
Go on.
So I went to school with this one guy named a and a and I kind of knew each other.
Didn't really know each other.
(04:00):
He then messaged me on what's it called?
Facebook Messenger.
What's it called?
What's it called?
He then messaged me on there one day and we start talking.
Now, physically, this man was not my type.
He was taller, but he had like, he was lanky too.
He was lanky.
He was very like me on our bones here.
(04:22):
We do like we like the dad bods.
We do like dad bods and tattoos.
He just wait.
So he, but he was like kind of cool or so I thought, right?
So we started hanging out.
We were talking.
We weren't seriously dating.
I would like to point that out right now.
We were not seriously dating.
(04:44):
We were talking and you know how after you go through a breakup because I had a significant
relationship and when you go through a breakup, you go through a fucking whole face.
Hello.
All been there.
No judgment.
We listen and we don't judge.
We listen and we don't judge.
Do not judge me right now.
I was going through my whole face.
I was talking to this man.
(05:05):
So we were hanging out.
I used to go over to his house.
He had a roommate.
His roommate's name was J.
Okay.
So he wasn't really there a lot of the times when I was hanging out with him.
So it was just mainly like me and a most of the time and he's like, Hey, well, we're all
going out on the boat.
Did you want to come this weekend?
And I was like, yes, I do.
(05:27):
So it was Jay's boat that we decided to go out on.
So it's me, a J and then one of their lesbian friends who tried to also hit it as well.
All three of us.
Okay.
Yeah.
Anyway, so we're all on the boat.
We're having fun.
There's a whole bunch of us.
We're fishing.
We're having a good fucking time.
(05:47):
We're drinking.
Like we're just hitting it up.
Now on that particular boat trip, Jay and I are drinking more than me and A were.
Jay and I started flirting and it was like innocent flirting.
Okay.
(06:07):
But then I was like, no.
You better shut your fucking mouth.
And I was like, Oh, no.
And I was just, you know, I was trying not to entertain the idea, but it was fun.
You know what I mean?
Cause when you're like in your whole phase and you're like, that man broke up for me
for what?
And you're getting attention from like these other dudes that are hot.
Now mind you, Jay had a dad bod.
(06:28):
He had the fucking boat.
He was tatted.
He had like that bad boy, your typical Florida bad boy, fuck boy, 100%.
Okay.
Nothing became of it that day.
Well, then I would say fast forward about a week.
(06:49):
Me and ages aren't hitting it off.
I'm just realizing like this isn't these fucking vanilla.
I don't like it.
Again, we're not seriously dating.
I'm allowed to go with other people.
So I go over there to talk to him.
I go over there to talk to him.
I don't remember if I was going over there to like make up with him because we did get
(07:11):
into like a little Tiff.
You guys had stopped talking for like a week if I remember correctly.
Is that what it was?
And he had messaged you and was like, Hey, can we talk?
That's right.
That's that makes us even.
Can we talk?
Oh, that makes this even worse.
Okay.
So I said, yeah, we can talk.
So then I drove over there and we're talking and yeah.
(07:35):
So he's like, you know, I'm just going to go to the, I'm going to go to the corner store
and we're going to go.
I'm going to go get some beer.
We're going to hang out.
And I was like, all right, because we're going to plan on like playing games that night,
drink a beer, shooting the fucking shit.
Jay was home.
So we're all going to hang out.
Right.
So he leaves.
(07:56):
I go out to the living room.
Jay comes out to get something from the fridge and he goes, where's a and I was like, Oh,
well, he went to the store to go get some beer.
And he's like, Oh, he left you alone.
And I was like, yeah, one thing led into a mother fuck another.
We're making out.
(08:17):
We're talking nasty to each other.
I like the way that's just hurt.
Nothing else.
Because I'm like, this is, this is fucking cringing.
One thing leads into another.
I then end up on his, they had a circular ottoman.
Okay.
So in the living room, they had like the big entertainment center.
(08:39):
They had like one of these L couches and then they had like one of those big circular ottomans.
Right.
My pants aren't on anymore.
I hate when that happens.
You just fall off.
My pants are not on anymore.
And he decides to go walk into the refrigerator.
(09:00):
He gets some ice.
He puts the ice in his mouth.
Use your imagination.
That's what fucking happened.
Yeah.
Okay.
I am at this point in, I don't know what the fuck I was in and what I was thinking because
the store that he went to, there was a drive through liquor store in where we lived down
(09:24):
there.
And it was maybe not even a mile from their house, so I don't know where I was thinking
in my brain that I'd be able to have fun with this man and finish with this man.
Oh, by the time that he goes to the liquor store and comes back.
(09:48):
Okay.
So I'm sitting there halfway enjoying myself for a minute and then all of a sudden I hear
what the fuck.
A walks in the front door and sees me spread fucking eagle on this oven with his roommate
right there.
(10:08):
And I'm like, I literally could have turned 50 shades of fucking purple at that moment.
So I hurry up and get up.
Now I'm like naked from the waist down looking at this man like that talk didn't go as I
planned.
Like did not go as planned.
(10:29):
His talk was better.
Sorry.
His talk was better.
I'm telling you.
And so he's like, dude, what the fuck?
And he like drops the beer and then he like walks in.
He goes straight to his fucking room.
Jay acts like nothing fucking happens.
This motherfucker just goes straight into his fucking bedroom.
And you're left out there naked.
I'm like, what the fuck?
(10:50):
Yes.
So that I start putting on my fucking clothes and then I go in there and I'm like, listen,
I'm sorry, but because how can you fucking heat?
What can you can't help?
How did the fuck do you come back from that?
You can't.
You don't.
You cannot.
And I'm telling you at 28 years old, my frontal lobe still was not fucking developed.
100% it is still not developed.
(11:11):
Okay.
Now I do have to say eight years later that is not me.
So for anyone listening who wants to date me, who loves me, I am loyal to the fucking
bone.
Okay.
I have a hard time now.
Let it go.
I will not do this to you.
I will not.
I will not.
So I'm, I just want to point that out as a public service announcement for any potential
(11:36):
suitors.
Um, so anyway, bottom line.
So then I go in the room and I'm talking to a and I was like, I'm really sorry, but
blonde, he's like, I have all fucking things.
I didn't think that you would do that.
And I swear to God, I looked at him and I said, honestly, me either.
Like same, bro.
Same, same, right?
So then, um, I don't know how I'm trying to talk this down because there's really no
(11:57):
coming back from that.
And um, I decided to just awkwardly get my shit.
And I was like, you know, I'm just going to, I'm going to see my way out, you know?
So I get my stuff and I walk and then I go into, um, Jay's room and he's just like laying
there.
And I was like, what the fuck?
And he's like, what?
And I was like, you're just going to leave me there hanging.
Like you're just going to not say anything.
(12:18):
He's like, I mean, what?
He'll get over it.
I'll fucking deal with that shit later.
That's my roommate.
Like what do you want me to do?
And like that was his house.
So it's like he didn't give a fuck.
Like he gave no fucks given.
Um, but that was the last time that I talked to them both.
Was that really?
Uh huh.
Yeah.
I didn't, I didn't, I was a fuck.
Like I was mortified.
(12:39):
Yeah.
I would be too.
I was like, I was able to go back.
Honestly.
Right.
Like and because of my own actions, it's not even like it was, it was, I was, I was
fucked up.
Who does that?
So yeah, I didn't, I didn't talk to either one of them.
I just kind of say lovey bitch.
Sorry.
I got my, she did a normal.
(13:01):
She ran.
Yeah.
She blocked him on all social media, dipped the fuck out was like it's over.
We're done.
Yeah, I did.
I absolutely did.
But you know, I will never do that again.
So lesson learned.
I, you know, it's shitty though.
I didn't even get a nut.
So not only did you get caught.
(13:21):
Yeah.
You didn't finish.
Nope.
And you walked away with blue vagina.
Yeah, I did.
And had to do the walk of shame home and walk of shame.
No, there was no, I mean, there was shame, but like, yeah, or no, she was embarrassed.
I, at the time she came back to my house, I literally was like, I have to tell you something
is really fucked up.
I can't believe I did this for real.
(13:42):
And still to this day, like I'm still fucking appalled that I did that in my life.
Like 28 years old, you should fucking know better bitch.
Yeah.
Well, that's, that's a part of embarrassing stories is we do shit that we don't realize
that is going to haunt us for the rest of our life.
They were like, why did they do that?
No, did I listen again?
Please.
(14:02):
I really hope that my family didn't listen.
I really hope that they heated that warning.
And if you heard that, I'm really sorry.
It's fucking nasty.
Yeah, stay fucking nasty.
Oh my goodness.
I know.
Um, listen, I've had a lot of encounters of embarrassing stories.
Excuse me.
(14:23):
I like that.
That fucking story has me like, right?
I have embarrassing stories for days on other people for myself.
Like I don't, I don't have very many.
No.
Um, I guess like my most memorable one and I'm going to take it way back.
(14:49):
We like way back.
We like throw back to like high school, to like junior year of high school leading into
senior year.
Okay.
Was this like 2006?
Yeah.
Cause right class of 07 here, baby.
07 baby.
Same.
Um, if for anybody that went to high school with me, that's listening.
I'm sure you already know the story, but shut the fuck up cause you know you don't.
(15:15):
Because no, you actually don't.
You don't, you don't know the whole story.
You just know what that little.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Oh, I'm intrigued.
So in high school, I was in this class called TV production, which if you don't know, you're
about to find out.
You basically go in there and you do the morning announcements on the TV.
(15:35):
You have like the news anchors.
You got the cameras.
You do the sound board, the whole thing.
And I did the post production.
So I did all the editing and all that kind of shit.
Well kind of like band nerds do the TV production people hang out together too.
And they kind of like, I don't know, it's just weird.
(15:55):
Like we all, we had to take the class cause we had to pass it, but also we learned to
like it.
And there was, I feel like that would be fun.
It was, oh my God.
I listened.
I had a full fucking full ride scholarship to full sale for post production.
I was going to go there.
I decided not to go because I was like, no, this is not the path I want to go on.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Now I'm kicking myself in the fucking face.
(16:17):
I remember full sale.
I mean, not really cause I can't get my leg up that high, but you know, here we are.
So we were hanging out in TV production class one day and we got told to go into the studio
next to us cause it was like under construction, the big one that we were going to have.
(16:38):
And he, our teacher was like, Hey, I just need you to go edit these announcements for
the next couple of days.
And it was just him and I, and I was just like, I didn't even look at him like he was
somebody to cute.
Like let's, let's go ahead and start that off real quick.
He was not my type at all.
He was too, he was too good.
(17:01):
Or so I thought like blonde hair, blue eyes, baseball, you know, full of himself bro dude.
And I'm just like, you're a tight butt.
No, he had a frumpy butt.
Oh, really?
Like compared to the other baseball players, he was frumpy.
He was not like, I wouldn't expect that.
He was the thicker baseball player.
(17:21):
He wasn't like the, you know, daddy.
We like big boys.
Yeah.
You do until they're douche canoe.
So, so we go next door and we're in the TV production studio.
And we were just talking like he was actually being nice to me.
Like he's not, he wasn't ever nice to me in the hallways.
Cause you know, I was, I was a fat bitch, you know, whatever.
(17:44):
And he starts talking to me and he was like, yeah, like we're having a party this weekend.
Like you should come.
This isn't that.
And I'm like, I don't go to fucking parties.
Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
And if I do, it's not with you.
And then this, we were playing with something on the video and this song comes on.
It was like a sexual song.
(18:06):
Don't ask me what it fucking was.
I don't know.
But apparently we've set the fucking mood.
And all I remember is that shirt was buttons.
You know, that's my song to go to.
Just pull that one out.
So this song's playing and he just kind of like reaches out and he puts his hand on
(18:30):
my leg and I just kind of look at him like, the fuck are you doing?
And he was like, I mean, come on, like let's just have a little fun.
And I was like, is that how he started this?
Yes.
And me back then being like dumb and naive, I'm going, okay, he likes me like, oh, like
we can have a little fling here and I'm going, okay.
(18:52):
And I don't know, like, because I talked now, the way I talk now is how I talk then, which
is really funny because like, I love how we're like, oh, they liked me.
Men will stick their dick in dirty socks.
Like, we could talk about my baby daddy in another day, but that's the next episode.
Okay.
This episode is about embarrassing stories and that's a whole other embarrassing story
(19:14):
to begin with.
So I thought he liked me and I was like, yeah, like let's go for it.
So we started kissing and we started making out and then like one thing leads to another
and he fucking pitches a tent.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm not talking like a, you know, full deluxe Coleman tent.
Like I'm talking like a little teepee.
It was, it was pretty low.
(19:35):
And I was just like me not being the hoe then that I am now or was in my 20.
I, uh, I was just like, oh yeah, that's great.
Cool.
So then we proceeded like he asked me to get him off and so I, so was that really the
(19:56):
question?
Like, can you get me off?
No, it wasn't that.
Like, I don't remember what he said to me more.
It was more of like, you want this dick, don't you?
You want to take this dick?
I'm fixing to fuck him.
I'm fixing to fuck him.
Can you imagine?
Your veg.
I'll have been it.
Um, so he, he proceeds to like basically like start pushing me down to give him head.
(20:25):
Right.
Oh, and I was like, oh, so that's what we're doing.
Well, then that led to, come on, just, just take your pants down.
Right.
And so we are fucking in this TV studio with an entire class of juniors and seniors next
to us.
Like we're talking like a partition wall.
Okay.
Like to the left of us.
(20:47):
Now clearly because he was in high school, it did not last very long.
He finished rather quickly.
He was first place for sure.
Um, batter up.
I just finished last or I don't remember honestly if I finished it all.
I just remembered I was on the cloud because I thought he liked me.
And then it was, we're not going to tell anybody about this.
(21:07):
Right.
And I was like, yeah, for sure.
Cause I don't want to, you know, I don't want a reputation here.
Well, I can come to find out boys are worse secret keepers than girls are.
They are, they're quick to run out and he went and told every single one of his baseball
player teammates who then proceeded to tell all of their girlfriends.
(21:30):
Oh my God.
Who then proceeded to tell all of their friends.
Oh my God.
So it was like a make it rain tree, you know, I'm like a hoop.
It just spread to the.
Oh, it was like a wildfire.
Unfortunately, you did not rain.
It did not rain.
I just puddled.
It was fucking awful.
And I had no fucking clue about it until one of the baseball players, his name starts
(21:54):
with S. I will never forget.
He was actually one of the nicer guys.
Okay.
He walks up to me one day while I'm at my locker, leans on the locker and goes.
So I had no idea you were like that.
Oh my God.
And I said, excuse me, what the fuck are you talking about?
And he goes, you get down.
And then I was like, I looked at him like, who the fuck are you talking to down with
(22:17):
what?
And he was like, well, you know, M came and told me that you guys had a little session
out in the TV studio and I said, he said, what?
And I remember slamming my books to the ground that I had in my hand because, you know, none
of the cool kids carried backpacks.
Only the nerds did.
So I was like in the middle class.
(22:38):
I wasn't low, but I wasn't up there with, you know, the Debbie Thompson whatnot.
And I remember throwing my books on the floor and going, you're fucking kidding me.
Like in the middle of God and everybody in the hall.
Right.
And he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like just chill out, chill out.
Like everything's fine.
And I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me.
And so that day after school, I couldn't, because I couldn't find him anywhere because
(23:04):
we didn't have any of the same classes together.
Like, I don't know, like our schedules were weird.
So the only time we really saw, yeah, the only time we really saw each other was in
TV production or if we were at the fields.
That's it.
Well, because I couldn't find him anywhere and Facebook wasn't really a thing.
(23:25):
It was still MySpace.
Oh, oh, I'm my space.
And I did.
I'm MySpace his fucking ass into the next generation.
Boy, I wrote him the nastiest message.
Now I don't remember what it said.
All I was basically telling him to like go fuck himself and his little shrimp dick and
this whole thing.
Oh my God.
The next day we were at school, like walking around.
(23:47):
And I remember we went into the cafeteria and like I saw him from across the room and
all his little fucking friends are sitting there like they were put.
I mean, I lived this fucking hell for months of them pointing at me, laughing at me, calling
me a whore, calling me all this kind of stuff, you know, like walking through the halls.
(24:08):
That's gotta be fucking miserable.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Being called a whore for for something that you didn't initiate.
And because you thought, you know, you were dumb and naive and thought this boy liked you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the double standard back then was so fucking.
Double standard today.
Two days.
Yes.
But I feel like an art, like an art era.
Oh, yeah.
(24:30):
Was a lot worse, I feel.
Well, yeah, except Karma's a bitch and she comes hard.
Okay.
Tell us.
So that was right before summer.
And then summer happened and we were going into our senior year.
Well, senior year, we get to paint our own parking spaces.
We get to have our own thing, you know, the whole nine we have our own, like literally
(24:52):
there's a whole senior section of just parking.
So I would park and then his parking space is only so ours.
Mine was like right here.
His was like a cross remind on the other side.
I could still, I could spit into the back of his fucking truck.
So it kind of died down over the summer and nobody said anything about it until somewhere
(25:12):
along the lines, I guess he did it to somebody else.
In the TV production.
Yes.
No.
He was the hoe.
Yes.
He had done right.
He did it to some other girl and this girl was like not defensive of herself.
She was very shy.
She was very timid.
She was an introvert.
She didn't, you know what I mean?
Like it was all the things and everybody responded more like bettered or bettered.
(25:38):
Better hers than they did to mine.
They were like, Oh my God, like, why would you do that?
Did this whole thing?
I decided I had had enough because the baseball team was still coming to me and asking me
to do things and, you know, yeah, like it was fucking sleazy.
And so like every day I'm having to go to school going, wonder who's going to ask me
(26:00):
today to suck their dick in the back of whatever, you know, cause God forbid I should be a female
who likes to have sex.
I know it's a weird concept guys.
Get the fuck over it.
Females have sex.
So me and two of my best friends, we were over it.
We were so over it that we decided to pack our own lunches for the next day and it wasn't
(26:23):
for us to consume.
Okay.
Oh no.
So we packed a lunchbox and it had baloney.
We had tuna fish.
We did actually have tuna fish cans in there that we opened, but it wasn't the cans or
excuse me, I said cans.
It was the, it was the pouches.
So they were easy to rip and throw away.
(26:45):
We got the markers that you can write on the windows with.
I mean, anything you can think of, we probably put it on that car.
And what did you write on the car?
Early dismissal day is when we decided to do it because we could sneak out of that last
class and we got to the parking lot before anybody else and we just started strategically
(27:06):
placing the fucking baloney all over his little Hyundai Santa Pay.
That's what he drove.
A white one.
Okay.
Oh, and that's sweet.
Mommy and daddy bought it.
So obviously.
Um, I put the, the baloney, um, one of my other friends put the tuna fish like in the
(27:26):
seals of the windows so that when you ever up and down it, yeah, it was, oh, and then
on the back of the car, um, we wrote something to the effect of like, um, stop using your
dick to get yourself around.
You know what I mean?
(27:47):
Like it's not that big anyway.
And then like we would, we would, we were drawn like little things on there and on the
front, my friend put a finger that like pointed to the driver's seat and then put shrimp around
the side of it.
Like Drew, Drew shrimp, not like actual shrimp, like Drew shrimp on there to show like, Hey,
(28:07):
this is you.
Well, I did not know this in the beginning, but I guess afterwards they had painted over
his, his parking spot.
I was no, I wasn't a part of that at all.
But I do remember when he came out and saw his car that day along with everybody else,
they were all just like, what the fuck did you do?
(28:29):
That's amazing.
Like they started like, did you get in trouble?
I did not get in trouble at all because I guess what I did, I jumped in my little F-150
and said, I'm out.
Not the fact that you had the F-150.
I did.
I mean, I grew up in, you know, little Po-Dunk town.
So I had, you know, my little 92 F-150 baby two door, two gasoline tanks.
(28:52):
I love that.
Fucking gangster shit, man.
And he had his little Hyundai Santa Fe and he was, you know, using mommy and daddy's
money.
Like it was nothing.
And he called me a fucking whore, a fucking slut, a fucking fat ass bitch.
And I said, I told him, I was like, if that's the worst thing that you can call me, I guess
I'm doing my job right.
(29:12):
Cause you called me fat.
You didn't call me ugly.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm fat all day.
I don't give a flying fuck with anybody thinks about me now, but your dick will never get
any bigger.
So that sounds like a problem, but it was totally embarrassing because my TV production
teacher found out about it.
Oh no.
Yeah.
(29:32):
And he was like, do you understand like that can get you expelled.
That can ruin your chances of going to full sale.
That can ruin a lot of things that can ruin, I can get fired for it because I'm allowing
this to happen.
Like, there was a lot of shit that went into that.
And I was like, well, I didn't think of all that cause you know, it was in the moment,
the heat of the moment.
(29:53):
You don't think of much.
Clearly right Valerie.
I mean legs spread open and you were going to get it within a mile.
So get it in a mile.
See, I feel like my story is not like, I mean, my story is fucked up.
My story is fucked up, but in the same aspect like it wasn't sexual.
(30:14):
So I, you know, I'm a little more.
I'm a story.
So well, that's because we're the whores.
And you're not, you know, well, we're, we're again, potential suitors here.
We're keyword find us on Facebook dating.
So, XO gossip girl.
(30:35):
Oh my God.
Okay, so I'll tell my story.
So I'm going to kind of go back to as well.
This happened.
I was 15 years old and it's actually going back to the same exact story of the first
guy lost my virginity that we talked about in the other episode.
So we're going to call him L on this one.
(30:55):
So after everything had happened and I'd catfished him done all that other bullshit right.
He ended up after my grandfather's funeral moving to Florida and my family actually allowed
him to move into the house and, and so forth and so on.
Right.
And he moved down in April by July.
His family had asked for us to fly up to Illinois to go and actually spend two weeks
(31:19):
up there and go camping and do all this stuff.
Right.
So I'm like, yeah, totally down.
So we start packing up all of our stuff.
They buy us the plane tickets.
We leave, we get on the plane, get off the plane.
Once we make it to, I think we landed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and they picked us up.
And as soon as I got in the car, like I noticed my stomach was hurting on the airplane, but
I didn't think anything of it because I had my period like two weeks beforehand.
(31:41):
And sometimes like I've flown a lot since I was a kid.
I'd get like stomach cramps and stuff like that.
So sometimes I'm not always thinking that it's a period as much as I'm thinking it's
the other right.
So we get off the plane and I stopped to use the bathroom at, at the airport.
And I realized like, I'm not just like starting a light period.
I'm having one of those really heavy periods.
(32:03):
Okay.
Well, my dumb ass didn't bring any tampons because I was like, Oh, well, I can get someone
some there.
You know what I mean?
And it's not even be towards the end of the trip.
So it won't be an issue because I brought money to go.
So I'm like, it's not an issue, right?
Well, lo and behold, I'm at the airport.
I see that I am now like flooded.
Looks like I literally just pissed myself in blood and my jeans, like the inner purge
jeans, you know, like when you soak it so bad that like you can look at the outside of
(32:25):
your jeans and it's like all bloody, right?
So that's the way it is.
And I'm like, Oh my God.
And all my bag just still in baggage claim, right?
So I can't even change.
I'm just not like I brought my suitcase in there with me.
Right.
So I decide to roll up some toilet paper and I just jam it like on top to like, like
almost like make a pad.
Okay.
With the toilet paper.
I've done it before.
(32:46):
Right.
Okay.
So I'm this is the first time also that I'm meeting his family.
Any of them.
I've never met his family before.
Okay.
So here I am.
Just a 15 year girl like, Hey, I'm here.
I'm your boyfriend.
Are your daughters boyfriends?
Wait.
What is it?
Yep.
You're son's girlfriend?
Girlfriend.
Yeah.
There you go.
And how long are you dating at this point?
Um, at that, well, he'd moved in April.
(33:06):
We'd started dating online.
You know what I mean?
So we were dating for real.
I want to like for real for like, well, he moved down in April.
So I would really consider like really like in person dating.
I met him the first time in the beginning of March.
So I would say March was when we started actually dating, dating, but I meant we were online
dating for probably about six months before.
(33:27):
Okay.
So, but I'd never met his family because his family lived in Illinois.
I live down in Florida, right?
So anyways, so I'm, you know, I'm being introduced to mom and the sister.
I haven't met the dad yet because the dad's still at the house and we get in the car and
I don't see anything.
I don't even say anything to him because I'm like, I don't even want to tell him.
I'm so fucking embarrassed.
Right.
So we get to the house.
(33:47):
I'm just expecting like it's going to be his dad when we get there.
We pull up to the house and his grandparents are there.
His all this aunts and uncles are there.
Oh my God.
And then to kind of preface this with they have been living this house since both of
his kids were, like both of the kids were born, right?
So and it's a small little neighborhood.
The whole neighborhood is really all super close.
And there's probably like 15 houses in this neighborhood, right?
(34:10):
And it's kind of like in this big circle, but they're like in the corner of that circle
and this like little part like by the called a sec area and of course they are.
Of course they are.
And they have like, they have like the corner lot and everything, right?
So like they had the biggest property.
They had the other house was beautiful.
It was absolutely gorgeous.
And the dad did everything to this house and before his son came, he decided that he was
(34:31):
going to get the whole yard re-sotted and he was going to, they remodeled the basement.
They did all these different things cause it was like a tri level home.
So up north we had it like when you'd walk in the house, it was like when you first walked
in, it was like living room and kitchen and like a bathroom and stuff in the dining room.
And then you'd go up the stairs to go to the bedrooms or they're in there.
Like right next to each other was split level and the stairs to go downstairs, which it
(34:53):
was their basement.
Yeah.
And then their basement was where the laundry room was, their little bar.
And then they had their like actual living room, okay?
In a closet.
Typical up north home.
Typical up north home.
Right.
So I get there and I'm already like socially awkward to a certain extent, especially at
that age where I'm like, no, there's too many people and I'm being introduced to them
(35:14):
all at the same fucking time, right?
And here I am with like bloody legs.
Okay.
And so I'm afraid now because we've been sitting in the car the whole time that my ass is covered
in blood, right?
That's like my worst fear.
I don't want to get behind me like, oh honey, your butt.
It's red.
Not only that too.
It's like you get hot butt when you're like, oh yeah.
So I'm like, and then the smell comes right.
Right.
(35:35):
So I'm like, I get inside and I'm, I have my bag and I'm like, um, where's, where's your
bathroom?
I really have to pee and I'm just trying to create a suit.
She's like, well, let me get you to the room first where you're going to stay.
So this way you can put it down.
Then I'll show you where the bathroom is because I still have my bag, right?
Now I'm fighting like a crowd of like 15 people in the house when I'm walking and I'm like,
hey, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
I'm like behind me and I make it upstairs.
(35:56):
I go in the room.
I open up my backpack.
I grab out a pair of underwear.
I grab out another pair of pants because I'm like, I just got to switch real quick.
Right.
And I'm like, there's got to be, there's a daughter and a mother that share this bathroom.
There's got to be tampons or pads in this bathroom.
Right.
So I go in there.
I close the door real quietly.
Everybody's being loud there and I start searching through their cabinets for tampons
or pads.
(36:18):
There's none.
Where the fuck they keep them in this house?
Who the fuck knows?
It's not there.
All right.
So I go into panic mode.
Okay.
Because I'm like, what am I going to do?
I can't just keep rolling up all the toilet paper.
Right.
And so like I literally take off my underwear and I like I set them down and I take off
my jeans and I fold up my jeans.
And I mean, by this point, my underwear, like I'm pretty sure I could have, sorry, TMI,
(36:42):
but I could have squeezed the blood out and it would have dripped out.
That's how soaked my underwear were.
Oh my God.
So I'm like, I'm not wrapping these in my jeans.
You don't even know what you normally would.
You'd wrap it up in your pants to like hide it.
Right.
Yeah.
I couldn't do that because they were light colored jeans.
And I'm like, I got to soak these.
I got to figure out what I'm going to do for the jeans.
But what do I do?
You know what I mean?
So I'm, and at this point, we're doing our older selves.
We're like, just put peroxide on.
Right.
(37:02):
And now I didn't think of that.
So I'm like, I'm just going to throw them away.
Okay.
So I wipe off.
I'm like washing off.
I have like the little white cup that they had in there and I'm like pouring the water
on trying to rinse it off, clean myself off.
I put my new under on, put my jeans on and I go to grab my clothes and I go to grab my
underwear to throw them in the garbage can and I go, wait a minute, where's the garbage
can?
(37:23):
Right.
There's no garbage can around.
Okay.
In this bathroom, who the fuck does?
Okay.
I just want to pause and say who the fuck does not have a garbage can in their bathroom.
Or tampons.
All right.
But okay.
You nasty fucks.
I get it.
Maybe they carry them in their room and they just bring it in there because the bathroom
is small and they all share it.
But where the fuck is your garbage can?
Do you not have garbage while you're in the bathroom?
All right.
(37:44):
Who the fuck doesn't?
Okay.
So I'm like, what am I going to do now?
Okay.
Because I haven't walked to the, I don't know where there's the closest garbage can, right?
So I'm like, now I'm out of 15.
Right.
So I literally fold the underwear up and I'm holding them in my hand.
Okay.
Like balled up in my hand.
My hand's now bloody, right?
I don't want it.
Like you can't see the blood from the outside, but it's like wrapped in my hand as tight
(38:04):
as part as I can, right?
So I go in the room and I'm looking in the bedroom as I'm putting my jeans next to my
suitcase.
I'm wearing a little dirty clothes pile.
There's no garbage can in the bedroom.
So I'm like, well, what am I going to do?
So I literally start walking downstairs with it in my hand.
Cause I was like, oh, I'll just wash my hands.
Like I'll come back up and wash my hands.
Right.
Well, the only garbage can that I could see was in like an eye shot that was in a distance
(38:28):
in the kitchen, right?
That was all the way in the corner and now everybody was in the kitchen.
Right.
And I'm like, there's no fucking way I'm walking with bloody panties in my hand and throwing
them away.
Hey, nice to meet you guys.
I'm tossing out my underwear.
I'll top it right back.
Okay.
Like, no, like I'm, there's no fucking way.
Okay.
So my dumb ass panics.
Right.
(38:48):
I turn the fuck around.
I go back into the bathroom and I'm now standing there losing my shit.
Okay.
Like straight up hyperventilating going, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.
Like freaking out.
Okay.
So at 15 years old, I'm like, you know what?
Fuck it.
I'm going to flush them down the toilet.
Oh my God.
Oh, hell no, man, what the fuck, man?
(39:12):
So that means said, here I go.
I drop them in the toilet and I flush.
I watch them swirl around the toilet.
The water turns pink.
It goes down.
I'm like a mission accomplished.
We're good.
I mean, this is completely fine.
Everything's back to normal.
Everything's great.
Like spoiler alert.
It's not fucking fine.
Right.
So I go ahead and I wash my hands off in the sink and I'm like, all right, I put on my
(39:36):
smiling face and I walk my happy ass downstairs.
Right.
We go on with normal day.
Everything's fucking great.
Can we talk about what you did when you didn't have a pad though?
Like, yeah, I just keep changing your underwear and your.
So what I did was I wrapped up a whole bunch of paper towels, a whole bunch of toilet paper
and I set it as a pad in later on that day.
(39:57):
The mom was going to go to the grocery store.
So I asked if I could go with and I ended up going.
I just got my period today.
Is it okay if I get some and she was like, yeah, go ahead.
So I ended up going and getting tampons when I was there.
Right.
Okay.
Okay.
So we get back to the house the same night.
Okay.
And the dad, like the bags are on the counter.
So I grab my tampons out and he stops me and he goes, Hey, real quickly.
(40:20):
Don't flush just on the toilet.
Yeah.
He goes, can you do me a favor?
He goes, I'm going to give you like a, like a plastic bag, like a grocery bag.
If you can just throw your tampons in there and then you just throw them out, just give
me a couple of them. He goes, because do not flush the tampons down our toilet because
we have a really bad like septic and it will back up if you flush a tampon.
Immediately I'm like, yeah, no problem.
(40:45):
I will not flush a tampon.
Nope.
I'm not going to flush a tampon.
No problem.
I'll put it in the bag.
Great.
Well, the next day, okay, we leave and we go to Wisconsin Dells to go camping for the
couple of days.
Right.
So four days we're up in Wisconsin Dells.
We're camping, everything's fine.
I completely forget about it.
Right.
Doesn't even cross my fucking mind.
We get back to the house that, that morning I get home and I was like, or get back to
(41:09):
his house and I'm like, you know what?
I need to take a shower because I just felt grody even though they had showers at the
campsite we were at.
I just wanted to take like a hot shower.
So I go upstairs.
I get in the shower.
At this point I'm like, I'm enjoying the water.
I'm scrubbing my hair.
I got all my hairs all nice and lather with soap and all of a sudden I hear on the door.
(41:32):
Right.
And I'm like, yeah.
And all of a sudden El goes, turn off the fucking water right now.
Oh my God.
Turn it off.
Oh my God.
And I'm like, okay.
And so like I turn at the one I'm like, what's wrong?
And he's like, our fucking basement's flooding.
Oh my God.
And I go, what?
And he's like, get down here.
Right.
So now I literally look like, like my hair is like totally lathered.
(41:54):
Like you do when you scrub it and it's all nice and white.
Right.
And I hold it up.
I like literally throw a towel on and I'm running down the stairs.
I'm like, what's going on?
And as I look downstairs, they're newly freshly carpeted carpet that's now in their basement
is completely flooded.
It backed up because they had one of those drains that were in the laundry room on the
floor.
Okay.
(42:14):
So it's literally coming up by the masses.
Okay.
Oh my God.
It's now flooding their whole living room, their couches soaked, their end tables, their
TV stand, everything is soaked, their closet soaked like the water.
There's like literally an inch and a half of water on the floor.
Oh my God.
And it's just pouring up.
(42:34):
So the dad's like outside, he's trying to shut the water off.
He's doing everything you can to get the water to go off.
Right.
He finally gets the water off and he's like, he comes in and he's like, did you flush a
tampon?
And I go, no, sir, I didn't flush a tampon.
Cause I wasn't lying.
I didn't flush a tampon.
I didn't ask if I flushed my underwear.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And so at this point I'm like in fight or flight.
(42:55):
Okay.
Like I'm like, I need to fucking go.
Like I go in the bedroom and I'm like, fuck it.
I'm like literally bunting my hair up with the soap in my hair cause I couldn't rinse
it off.
Right.
I literally had my hair in a bun.
I tie it up.
I literally throw on my clothes.
I'm like packing up my bags and I'm like, I need you to come get me like right now.
I need you to come from Florida and I need you to come get me.
(43:16):
Now.
Right now.
Right.
Fuck now.
So fast forward.
Okay.
About two hours later, the like a septic guy shows up.
Right.
And I'm watching him literally tear up his freshly sodded brand new perfect looking
lawn.
Oh my God.
(43:37):
And I mean digging like a big hole in his yard and he's now taking a snake and like one
those big long ones, like the electric ones that they have that's like drills and it's
like, you know, 200 feet long.
And I'm standing in the garage like shaking like I've got Parkinson's.
Okay.
And I'm standing there and I'm like, this is not good.
This is not good.
Okay.
Now I'm going to, I'm going to like set the scene here.
(43:58):
Here I am in the garage, right?
Dad L and the dude that's fixing it is all standing around the hole.
The neighbors are now out standing at the driveways watching.
Okay.
Going on.
What is going on?
Okay.
Cause they know how proud he is of his yard.
Like he's the one that's out there every day.
Like some of these old guys that are sitting there like picking every weed doing all that
(44:19):
kind of.
Yeah.
My dad.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
The pride of how their house looks.
Okay.
They take very well care of it.
So they're very proud of it.
Right.
So I'm standing like literally deer and headlights just standing in the garage staring like big
eyed, like not blinking just like, fuck my life right now.
Maybe it's something else.
(44:40):
Cause I'm going, it's been a week.
It's had to flush by now.
You know what I mean?
Oh, it's been a week at this point.
It's been a week, but you gotta think we were also gone for four or five days on that
trip.
Right.
Okay.
So all of a sudden I hear the thing.
Okay.
It means it catches something right?
Like it stops like, right?
(45:00):
Oh, it caught something.
No, it caught something.
Okay.
So all of a sudden he kicks it in reverse and you're just, I'm just watching it spin up.
Okay.
And I'm like, please.
Like a flag.
Cause the guy was like, it could just be like you could have had, because they had a whole
bunch of trees in there.
You are too like big oak trees.
He's like, it could have been a branch broken to like one of the pipe beans.
You know what I mean?
It could just be that right?
(45:20):
So I'm like, please, please, please.
As it's coming up and all of a sudden I see my panties wrapped around the snake.
Right.
And I'm like, oh no.
I now freeze and I just like, I can't move.
Okay.
I am like dead staring at this.
All three of them, literally all three of them, including the septic guy who had no idea
(45:43):
who the fuck I was turns and all look at me.
At this point, I'm literally about to be like Jesus running on water.
Okay.
Because I'm about to fucking hitchhike back to Florida at this point.
I'm literally about to fucking cry and literally the dude peels them off the snake.
(46:06):
Hands them.
No, hands them to the dad.
The dad takes some turns around, looks at L goes, here's your girlfriend's panties.
L turns around and looks at me like, what the fuck?
Like the disappointment, I think was worse than the anger that I knew he felt in that
(46:26):
moment.
And he just stared at me for a minute and then with his hands still straight out holding
it with like thumb and pointer walks it straight to me, stares at me, says nothing, drops it
on the ground, puts his hand down and goes, why?
That's a good question.
A solid question.
I literally start bawling in that moment.
(46:47):
I literally start bawling.
I'm like, I'm so sorry.
I take off running in the house.
My panties still on the garage.
I'm not like right in front of the garage, right?
I just take off in the house and I'm like, I don't even want to look at them.
I don't want to look at you.
I didn't want to look at the mom.
I didn't want to look at the dad.
I didn't want to look at the sister.
And I definitely didn't want to look at L, right?
I'm like, now I'm done.
We need to go.
(47:08):
I gotta go home.
My mom's calling me.
At that point, I wish we were still in Florida because I'd been like, I would have started
hitchhiking at that point, thumb out everything.
I would have showed some leg, like give me the fuck out of here.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I got a good, like I got my period.
Clearly.
So here I am sitting in the room bawling my eyes out.
Okay.
(47:29):
I call my mom and I'm like, I really messed up.
Please just say I want to come home and she's like, Oh my God.
Why would you do that?
And so he comes in the room and he's like, are you okay?
And I said, no, I'm not.
I was like, I feel like such as, he goes, why would you do it?
And so I had to literally sit there and explain to him the whole scenario.
(47:50):
He starts busting out laughing.
He's like, you're a fucking idiot.
You're an idiot.
And he goes, I can't believe you did that.
And I was like, I don't want to face your dad.
I said, can we please leave?
Like I want to go home right now.
Like I don't even want to be here anymore.
I said, I'm an asshole.
I'm, I'm dumb.
Okay.
And I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't, I don't want to see your sister.
(48:10):
I don't want to see your mom.
I definitely don't want to see your dad.
You talk about me running.
Oh no.
Like I want to run.
Like I get your, I get your running thing, but in this situation, boy, I've never wanted
to run so fucking hard in my life.
And that one, I, it keeps a permanent place in my brain.
Yeah.
(48:31):
A permanent place.
And now the running joke with everybody that knows the story will be like, oh, you're
on your period.
Don't go fleshing your panties.
I know.
So did, what did the dad say?
Oh, he came and talked to me because we ended up leaving two days later.
You did?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
(48:52):
Yep.
We got a ticket back home because I did not want to say it.
She said, uh-huh.
Yep.
Sure did.
Sure did.
Fuck I was out.
But the dad came up to me and he goes, listen, he goes, I wish you to just told me.
He goes, because I could have saved myself a lot of money.
Oh, there's that.
And then he's like, I just put like four grand into the yard.
He goes, I just spent about six grand in the basement.
(49:14):
He goes, now I just had to pay an extra like four or $500 to get the sewage or septic company
to come out.
He goes, now I have to go and put the money into getting the basement carpet done.
Like I had to bring out like, what the, like a carpet cleaner place and they had to like
get all the water out of it and because that will get moldy.
Right.
Right.
(49:34):
So yeah, they did do the couches, like all that shit.
So I ended up costing him just to fix my flushing of panties over like $1,100 when I was like
15.
You know what I mean?
And so in preference, I'm almost 40 now.
So yeah, it was, it sucked.
Well, you know the good thing about between then and now, your panties have gotten smaller.
Yeah.
(49:55):
No, I think my panties got bigger.
I mean, I wore thongs back then.
Yeah.
But they're like, they're more discreet now than they used to be.
Think about it.
Yeah.
But I'm also bigger than I was at 15.
Shut the fuck up.
You always have to take it there.
Take it there.
Don't take it.
There's more inches the bigger you get in your underwear.
(50:15):
It has more, more, more, yes.
More yurage to cover.
You know what I mean?
It's thinner material.
It's more of it.
Yeah.
It's more of it.
That's embarrassing.
I think that that top C embarrassing stories that's pretty fucking embarrassing.
Yeah.
At least ours didn't cost us any money.
I know.
Yeah.
I prayed real well.
I don't know what to say.
(50:36):
Clearly we're almost 40 years old.
Yeah, yeah.
So I would never do that again.
Never.
I would hope not.
Nope.
I, you know what?
You think you're nervous to flush tampons
in other people's houses now?
I know, I don't blame you.
I'm like, are you on City or something?
I'm gonna ask this question.
Yeah, no I do.
I mean, I've asked that before.
Like I've asked you that before we went to your mom's house
(50:57):
when I was on my period, when you lived down
at the house of the little pool.
Yeah.
Are you guys on City here?
Are you guys just like, is it a well?
I loved the house.
I did too.
We had a lot of good memories.
Yes, it's cool.
So yeah.
But that was rough.
That was rough.
All your guys' stories were rough though too though.
Like, I mean, especially for you, Liz, like honestly,
(51:19):
the fact, and it's not so much what happened
in that moment that was embarrassing.
It was the aftermath.
Right, it's the aftermath of all of the asshole
high schoolers literally, especially the baseball team
trying to come to you and be like, oh, you're a hoe.
So you want to get down.
You know what I mean?
It's so gross.
That shit sucks, especially if you had to wait
till the next year to even get back at grandma.
(51:41):
That just shows you how.
You know the funny thing is my parents,
none of my family ever knew that happened either.
Really?
Like I kept that shit under fucking wraps.
Well, now they're going to know.
I feel like it's also public school.
Well, I don't think my dad's listening to this.
And if he is, what's up?
What is it?
I feel like if I was in public school at that point,
that would have been my 13th reason.
You know what I mean?
I'm glad about that.
Listen.
There was a lot of reasons.
(52:03):
There was a lot of fucking reasons
that had to have been like top 10.
Oh, at least top 10.
That's rough.
I mean, that's, I realized that people get bullied
for shit like that.
Like you've seen, I've seen shows like that, you know?
Where that pretty much exact, not quite to that extent,
but I'll pretty close to that.
And I mean, that like baseball players,
cheerleaders, football players,
(52:25):
any athletic sport was coming up to me.
And the sad part was I was an athlete too.
Like, yes, big girls are athletes too.
Fuck all the way off.
But like, you know what I mean?
I still, I was still a part of, you know, all that shit.
Yeah.
And here I am in the middle of it.
And the worst part is like what I did was nothing
compared to what the cheerleaders or the football players
or anybody else did at any of the house parties,
(52:47):
they just didn't do it at school.
Right.
So whatever.
That's a pretty bad ass dude.
You got stories to tell.
I mean, I got stories for other people,
but we don't have time for that.
Cause boy, I could tell you about some,
remember the time that the guy thought
I was going to get pregnant?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I wish we had time to tell that story.
No, but we definitely could make this a part two
of tell other embarrassing stories of other people
or even in listeners.
(53:08):
So with that being said,
anybody wants to share any stories.
Okay.
Any embarrassing stories you can go anonymous
or we can say your name, whatever you prefer.
We would love to tell your story because
ain't no shame in our game.
None.
Sure.
Clearly none.
Clearly none.
Well now there is.
I wouldn't, again, I wouldn't do that again.
No, no, no, hold on.
(53:28):
Let her just, we're going to rewind that.
There's shame in her game because she's,
she's sad she got caught.
That's not true.
Diary X away there says.
You would have probably forgot about it
if you didn't get caught.
Where's the crickets?
Right?
I know.
I know.
I know it.
(53:49):
Oh shit.
Yeah, I think you would have.
But with that being said,
if you have stories,
cause we really want to hear you guys
tell you stories,
I don't want this whole show to be about us all the time
cause yeah,
we're cool and everything and we have some pretty exciting
shit happening in our lives,
but we can,
we're, we're boring compared to you guys,
which is our listeners,
who we love and adore.
(54:11):
So if you want to send in your cringe worthy story
or embarrassing story,
send it to unhingedmemories at gmail.com.
Also subscribe to our stories here on
Apple, Pandora, iHeartRadio, Spotify, YouTube.
You name it, we're fucking on it.
And you better be listening and subscribing and sharing
(54:31):
on it.
Yep.
And you can also find us on social media.
We're on Facebook, TikTok and Instagram,
all unhingedmemories,
except for an Instagram,
we are the unhingedmemories.
Correct.
Send all your stories to any of,
any of the platforms that we told you to,
or that we just voiced,
not that we told you to,
cause we don't have to do anything,
but we would appreciate it if you would just share with us.
Cause like,
fuck man,
(54:52):
we like to laugh.
We also have snap.
Oh yeah, we have Snapchat now.
We're part of the cool kids.
We do.
Unhingedmemories on Snapchat.
Send us all the pictures too, cause like,
we'll snap back.
Hell yeah, we will.
Hell yeah, we will.
Yeah, we will.
Well, until the next episode,
which is going to be fun and interesting,
we will see you guys soon.
(55:12):
Just wait for the next episode,
but we got some gifts for you.
Hell yeah, see you guys next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Valell groteح assembler.
I just want you to know that I'm sorry.
(00:02):
What's up everyone?
Welcome back to another episode of Unhinged Memoirs.
(00:23):
Today on Episode 6 we are talking about cringe chronicles and the embarrassment that haunts
us and also the shit that we hate to admit.
I'm Val.
I'm Jess.
And I'm Liz.
I would like to start out by saying and giving a full disclaimer, if you are any a part of
my family.
Or any of our families for that matter.
Or any of our families, get the fuck off this podcast for right now.
(00:45):
You're not welcome.
I mean my family's welcome.
They know my story.
Well they do.
That's true.
So just fast forward to like the last part of the episode.
You can only listen to hers, okay?
Yeah, really.
I know.
Fast forward the rest.
I'll fuck out.
Could you imagine?
I don't want your family.
No, no.
I couldn't look at her mom in the eyes and be like, hmm, hey mom.
I know my story.
I'm just starting to realize I may be a little more straight edge when I was younger than
(01:05):
you guys.
No, I know.
It's crazy.
No, I don't mean that in a bad way.
I just mean like, you know, my life was different a little bit.
I didn't get out like you guys did.
You know what I mean?
I didn't get to go to real high school.
I was home school for high school.
You know what I mean?
And be thankful because you don't have these nasty stories.
Hey.
Well technically, no.
Mine was, I was in my wherewithal.
(01:26):
Yeah, you were.
You were with your who?
I was with my wherewithal.
I'm not really sure what that means, but she wasn't early 20s.
Wherewithal.
I was with my wherewithal.
Can you use that in a sentence that I can understand?
I was, hey Siri.
How can I use wherewithal in a sentence?
(01:47):
I'm really surprised you actually didn't just chat GPT it.
Oh, that's true.
Jatt, how would I use wherewithal in a sentence?
You know what?
Hold on.
Siri doesn't know either.
That's true.
So I'm good.
No, stop.
Hold on.
I'm sorry.
I didn't quite catch that.
But my Siri did.
What the hell?
How do I use wherewithal in a sentence?
(02:11):
She don't know either.
The word wherewithal refers to the means or resources necessary to accomplish something.
Here are some examples of how.
Personal determination.
He had the wherewithal to bounce back from failure and start again.
So the audacity.
There we go.
You're trying to be fucking fancy.
Wherewithal.
(02:32):
Fucking audacity.
I mean the audacity.
I guess that's something of going like, I cannot believe that you just fucking did that.
The audacity of that bitch.
No, I have my wherewithal to make sure that it's like.
I can't.
I fucking can't.
I can't say that I've had the audacity to be what I was in my mid twenties, but I had
(02:57):
my, no, I didn't even have that.
I had no fucking audacity.
You were just unhinged.
No, I was.
I really was.
I mean, at this point, weren't we all?
So check it.
One, two.
This is a story all about.
My life got flipped, turned upside down.
All right.
So I would like to point out that sometimes in our fucking lives, we make decisions that
(03:19):
are not becoming of us, very not becoming of us.
So it is in the summer of 2016.
I was 28.
I wasn't in my young twenties.
I thought it was like 2013, 2014.
(03:39):
It was 2016.
Oh yeah.
We were at the blue house.
Never mind.
So we were.
Go on.
So I went to school with this one guy named a and a and I kind of knew each other.
Didn't really know each other.
(04:00):
He then messaged me on what's it called?
Facebook Messenger.
What's it called?
What's it called?
He then messaged me on there one day and we start talking.
Now, physically, this man was not my type.
He was taller, but he had like, he was lanky too.
He was lanky.
He was very like me on our bones here.
(04:22):
We do like we like the dad bods.
We do like dad bods and tattoos.
He just wait.
So he, but he was like kind of cool or so I thought, right?
So we started hanging out.
We were talking.
We weren't seriously dating.
I would like to point that out right now.
We were not seriously dating.
(04:44):
We were talking and you know how after you go through a breakup because I had a significant
relationship and when you go through a breakup, you go through a fucking whole face.
Hello.
All been there.
No judgment.
We listen and we don't judge.
We listen and we don't judge.
Do not judge me right now.
I was going through my whole face.
I was talking to this man.
(05:05):
So we were hanging out.
I used to go over to his house.
He had a roommate.
His roommate's name was J.
Okay.
So he wasn't really there a lot of the times when I was hanging out with him.
So it was just mainly like me and a most of the time and he's like, Hey, well, we're all
going out on the boat.
Did you want to come this weekend?
And I was like, yes, I do.
(05:27):
So it was Jay's boat that we decided to go out on.
So it's me, a J and then one of their lesbian friends who tried to also hit it as well.
All three of us.
Okay.
Yeah.
Anyway, so we're all on the boat.
We're having fun.
There's a whole bunch of us.
We're fishing.
We're having a good fucking time.
(05:47):
We're drinking.
Like we're just hitting it up.
Now on that particular boat trip, Jay and I are drinking more than me and A were.
Jay and I started flirting and it was like innocent flirting.
Okay.
(06:07):
But then I was like, no.
You better shut your fucking mouth.
And I was like, Oh, no.
And I was just, you know, I was trying not to entertain the idea, but it was fun.
You know what I mean?
Cause when you're like in your whole phase and you're like, that man broke up for me
for what?
And you're getting attention from like these other dudes that are hot.
Now mind you, Jay had a dad bod.
(06:28):
He had the fucking boat.
He was tatted.
He had like that bad boy, your typical Florida bad boy, fuck boy, 100%.
Okay.
Nothing became of it that day.
Well, then I would say fast forward about a week.
(06:49):
Me and ages aren't hitting it off.
I'm just realizing like this isn't these fucking vanilla.
I don't like it.
Again, we're not seriously dating.
I'm allowed to go with other people.
So I go over there to talk to him.
I go over there to talk to him.
I don't remember if I was going over there to like make up with him because we did get
(07:11):
into like a little Tiff.
You guys had stopped talking for like a week if I remember correctly.
Is that what it was?
And he had messaged you and was like, Hey, can we talk?
That's right.
That's that makes us even.
Can we talk?
Oh, that makes this even worse.
Okay.
So I said, yeah, we can talk.
So then I drove over there and we're talking and yeah.
(07:35):
So he's like, you know, I'm just going to go to the, I'm going to go to the corner store
and we're going to go.
I'm going to go get some beer.
We're going to hang out.
And I was like, all right, because we're going to plan on like playing games that night,
drink a beer, shooting the fucking shit.
Jay was home.
So we're all going to hang out.
Right.
So he leaves.
(07:56):
I go out to the living room.
Jay comes out to get something from the fridge and he goes, where's a and I was like, Oh,
well, he went to the store to go get some beer.
And he's like, Oh, he left you alone.
And I was like, yeah, one thing led into a mother fuck another.
We're making out.
(08:17):
We're talking nasty to each other.
I like the way that's just hurt.
Nothing else.
Because I'm like, this is, this is fucking cringing.
One thing leads into another.
I then end up on his, they had a circular ottoman.
Okay.
So in the living room, they had like the big entertainment center.
(08:39):
They had like one of these L couches and then they had like one of those big circular ottomans.
Right.
My pants aren't on anymore.
I hate when that happens.
You just fall off.
My pants are not on anymore.
And he decides to go walk into the refrigerator.
(09:00):
He gets some ice.
He puts the ice in his mouth.
Use your imagination.
That's what fucking happened.
Yeah.
Okay.
I am at this point in, I don't know what the fuck I was in and what I was thinking because
the store that he went to, there was a drive through liquor store in where we lived down
(09:24):
there.
And it was maybe not even a mile from their house, so I don't know where I was thinking
in my brain that I'd be able to have fun with this man and finish with this man.
Oh, by the time that he goes to the liquor store and comes back.
(09:48):
Okay.
So I'm sitting there halfway enjoying myself for a minute and then all of a sudden I hear
what the fuck.
A walks in the front door and sees me spread fucking eagle on this oven with his roommate
right there.
(10:08):
And I'm like, I literally could have turned 50 shades of fucking purple at that moment.
So I hurry up and get up.
Now I'm like naked from the waist down looking at this man like that talk didn't go as I
planned.
Like did not go as planned.
(10:29):
His talk was better.
Sorry.
His talk was better.
I'm telling you.
And so he's like, dude, what the fuck?
And he like drops the beer and then he like walks in.
He goes straight to his fucking room.
Jay acts like nothing fucking happens.
This motherfucker just goes straight into his fucking bedroom.
And you're left out there naked.
I'm like, what the fuck?
(10:50):
Yes.
So that I start putting on my fucking clothes and then I go in there and I'm like, listen,
I'm sorry, but because how can you fucking heat?
What can you can't help?
How did the fuck do you come back from that?
You can't.
You don't.
You cannot.
And I'm telling you at 28 years old, my frontal lobe still was not fucking developed.
100% it is still not developed.
(11:11):
Okay.
Now I do have to say eight years later that is not me.
So for anyone listening who wants to date me, who loves me, I am loyal to the fucking
bone.
Okay.
I have a hard time now.
Let it go.
I will not do this to you.
I will not.
I will not.
So I'm, I just want to point that out as a public service announcement for any potential
(11:36):
suitors.
Um, so anyway, bottom line.
So then I go in the room and I'm talking to a and I was like, I'm really sorry, but
blonde, he's like, I have all fucking things.
I didn't think that you would do that.
And I swear to God, I looked at him and I said, honestly, me either.
Like same, bro.
Same, same, right?
So then, um, I don't know how I'm trying to talk this down because there's really no
(11:57):
coming back from that.
And um, I decided to just awkwardly get my shit.
And I was like, you know, I'm just going to, I'm going to see my way out, you know?
So I get my stuff and I walk and then I go into, um, Jay's room and he's just like laying
there.
And I was like, what the fuck?
And he's like, what?
And I was like, you're just going to leave me there hanging.
Like you're just going to not say anything.
(12:18):
He's like, I mean, what?
He'll get over it.
I'll fucking deal with that shit later.
That's my roommate.
Like what do you want me to do?
And like that was his house.
So it's like he didn't give a fuck.
Like he gave no fucks given.
Um, but that was the last time that I talked to them both.
Was that really?
Uh huh.
Yeah.
I didn't, I didn't, I was a fuck.
Like I was mortified.
(12:39):
Yeah.
I would be too.
I was like, I was able to go back.
Honestly.
Right.
Like and because of my own actions, it's not even like it was, it was, I was, I was
fucked up.
Who does that?
So yeah, I didn't, I didn't talk to either one of them.
I just kind of say lovey bitch.
Sorry.
I got my, she did a normal.
(13:01):
She ran.
Yeah.
She blocked him on all social media, dipped the fuck out was like it's over.
We're done.
Yeah, I did.
I absolutely did.
But you know, I will never do that again.
So lesson learned.
I, you know, it's shitty though.
I didn't even get a nut.
So not only did you get caught.
(13:21):
Yeah.
You didn't finish.
Nope.
And you walked away with blue vagina.
Yeah, I did.
And had to do the walk of shame home and walk of shame.
No, there was no, I mean, there was shame, but like, yeah, or no, she was embarrassed.
I, at the time she came back to my house, I literally was like, I have to tell you something
is really fucked up.
I can't believe I did this for real.
(13:42):
And still to this day, like I'm still fucking appalled that I did that in my life.
Like 28 years old, you should fucking know better bitch.
Yeah.
Well, that's, that's a part of embarrassing stories is we do shit that we don't realize
that is going to haunt us for the rest of our life.
They were like, why did they do that?
No, did I listen again?
Please.
(14:02):
I really hope that my family didn't listen.
I really hope that they heated that warning.
And if you heard that, I'm really sorry.
It's fucking nasty.
Yeah, stay fucking nasty.
Oh my goodness.
I know.
Um, listen, I've had a lot of encounters of embarrassing stories.
Excuse me.
(14:23):
I like that.
That fucking story has me like, right?
I have embarrassing stories for days on other people for myself.
Like I don't, I don't have very many.
No.
Um, I guess like my most memorable one and I'm going to take it way back.
(14:49):
We like way back.
We like throw back to like high school, to like junior year of high school leading into
senior year.
Okay.
Was this like 2006?
Yeah.
Cause right class of 07 here, baby.
07 baby.
Same.
Um, if for anybody that went to high school with me, that's listening.
I'm sure you already know the story, but shut the fuck up cause you know you don't.
(15:15):
Because no, you actually don't.
You don't, you don't know the whole story.
You just know what that little.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Oh, I'm intrigued.
So in high school, I was in this class called TV production, which if you don't know, you're
about to find out.
You basically go in there and you do the morning announcements on the TV.
(15:35):
You have like the news anchors.
You got the cameras.
You do the sound board, the whole thing.
And I did the post production.
So I did all the editing and all that kind of shit.
Well kind of like band nerds do the TV production people hang out together too.
And they kind of like, I don't know, it's just weird.
(15:55):
Like we all, we had to take the class cause we had to pass it, but also we learned to
like it.
And there was, I feel like that would be fun.
It was, oh my God.
I listened.
I had a full fucking full ride scholarship to full sale for post production.
I was going to go there.
I decided not to go because I was like, no, this is not the path I want to go on.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Now I'm kicking myself in the fucking face.
(16:17):
I remember full sale.
I mean, not really cause I can't get my leg up that high, but you know, here we are.
So we were hanging out in TV production class one day and we got told to go into the studio
next to us cause it was like under construction, the big one that we were going to have.
(16:38):
And he, our teacher was like, Hey, I just need you to go edit these announcements for
the next couple of days.
And it was just him and I, and I was just like, I didn't even look at him like he was
somebody to cute.
Like let's, let's go ahead and start that off real quick.
He was not my type at all.
He was too, he was too good.
(17:01):
Or so I thought like blonde hair, blue eyes, baseball, you know, full of himself bro dude.
And I'm just like, you're a tight butt.
No, he had a frumpy butt.
Oh, really?
Like compared to the other baseball players, he was frumpy.
He was not like, I wouldn't expect that.
He was the thicker baseball player.
(17:21):
He wasn't like the, you know, daddy.
We like big boys.
Yeah.
You do until they're douche canoe.
So, so we go next door and we're in the TV production studio.
And we were just talking like he was actually being nice to me.
Like he's not, he wasn't ever nice to me in the hallways.
Cause you know, I was, I was a fat bitch, you know, whatever.
(17:44):
And he starts talking to me and he was like, yeah, like we're having a party this weekend.
Like you should come.
This isn't that.
And I'm like, I don't go to fucking parties.
Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
And if I do, it's not with you.
And then this, we were playing with something on the video and this song comes on.
It was like a sexual song.
(18:06):
Don't ask me what it fucking was.
I don't know.
But apparently we've set the fucking mood.
And all I remember is that shirt was buttons.
You know, that's my song to go to.
Just pull that one out.
So this song's playing and he just kind of like reaches out and he puts his hand on
(18:30):
my leg and I just kind of look at him like, the fuck are you doing?
And he was like, I mean, come on, like let's just have a little fun.
And I was like, is that how he started this?
Yes.
And me back then being like dumb and naive, I'm going, okay, he likes me like, oh, like
we can have a little fling here and I'm going, okay.
(18:52):
And I don't know, like, because I talked now, the way I talk now is how I talk then, which
is really funny because like, I love how we're like, oh, they liked me.
Men will stick their dick in dirty socks.
Like, we could talk about my baby daddy in another day, but that's the next episode.
Okay.
This episode is about embarrassing stories and that's a whole other embarrassing story
(19:14):
to begin with.
So I thought he liked me and I was like, yeah, like let's go for it.
So we started kissing and we started making out and then like one thing leads to another
and he fucking pitches a tent.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm not talking like a, you know, full deluxe Coleman tent.
Like I'm talking like a little teepee.
It was, it was pretty low.
(19:35):
And I was just like me not being the hoe then that I am now or was in my 20.
I, uh, I was just like, oh yeah, that's great.
Cool.
So then we proceeded like he asked me to get him off and so I, so was that really the
(19:56):
question?
Like, can you get me off?
No, it wasn't that.
Like, I don't remember what he said to me more.
It was more of like, you want this dick, don't you?
You want to take this dick?
I'm fixing to fuck him.
I'm fixing to fuck him.
Can you imagine?
Your veg.
I'll have been it.
Um, so he, he proceeds to like basically like start pushing me down to give him head.
(20:25):
Right.
Oh, and I was like, oh, so that's what we're doing.
Well, then that led to, come on, just, just take your pants down.
Right.
And so we are fucking in this TV studio with an entire class of juniors and seniors next
to us.
Like we're talking like a partition wall.
Okay.
Like to the left of us.
(20:47):
Now clearly because he was in high school, it did not last very long.
He finished rather quickly.
He was first place for sure.
Um, batter up.
I just finished last or I don't remember honestly if I finished it all.
I just remembered I was on the cloud because I thought he liked me.
And then it was, we're not going to tell anybody about this.
(21:07):
Right.
And I was like, yeah, for sure.
Cause I don't want to, you know, I don't want a reputation here.
Well, I can come to find out boys are worse secret keepers than girls are.
They are, they're quick to run out and he went and told every single one of his baseball
player teammates who then proceeded to tell all of their girlfriends.
(21:30):
Oh my God.
Who then proceeded to tell all of their friends.
Oh my God.
So it was like a make it rain tree, you know, I'm like a hoop.
It just spread to the.
Oh, it was like a wildfire.
Unfortunately, you did not rain.
It did not rain.
I just puddled.
It was fucking awful.
And I had no fucking clue about it until one of the baseball players, his name starts
(21:54):
with S. I will never forget.
He was actually one of the nicer guys.
Okay.
He walks up to me one day while I'm at my locker, leans on the locker and goes.
So I had no idea you were like that.
Oh my God.
And I said, excuse me, what the fuck are you talking about?
And he goes, you get down.
And then I was like, I looked at him like, who the fuck are you talking to down with
(22:17):
what?
And he was like, well, you know, M came and told me that you guys had a little session
out in the TV studio and I said, he said, what?
And I remember slamming my books to the ground that I had in my hand because, you know, none
of the cool kids carried backpacks.
Only the nerds did.
So I was like in the middle class.
(22:38):
I wasn't low, but I wasn't up there with, you know, the Debbie Thompson whatnot.
And I remember throwing my books on the floor and going, you're fucking kidding me.
Like in the middle of God and everybody in the hall.
Right.
And he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like just chill out, chill out.
Like everything's fine.
And I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me.
And so that day after school, I couldn't, because I couldn't find him anywhere because
(23:04):
we didn't have any of the same classes together.
Like, I don't know, like our schedules were weird.
So the only time we really saw, yeah, the only time we really saw each other was in
TV production or if we were at the fields.
That's it.
Well, because I couldn't find him anywhere and Facebook wasn't really a thing.
(23:25):
It was still MySpace.
Oh, oh, I'm my space.
And I did.
I'm MySpace his fucking ass into the next generation.
Boy, I wrote him the nastiest message.
Now I don't remember what it said.
All I was basically telling him to like go fuck himself and his little shrimp dick and
this whole thing.
Oh my God.
The next day we were at school, like walking around.
(23:47):
And I remember we went into the cafeteria and like I saw him from across the room and
all his little fucking friends are sitting there like they were put.
I mean, I lived this fucking hell for months of them pointing at me, laughing at me, calling
me a whore, calling me all this kind of stuff, you know, like walking through the halls.
(24:08):
That's gotta be fucking miserable.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Being called a whore for for something that you didn't initiate.
And because you thought, you know, you were dumb and naive and thought this boy liked you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the double standard back then was so fucking.
Double standard today.
Two days.
Yes.
But I feel like an art, like an art era.
Oh, yeah.
(24:30):
Was a lot worse, I feel.
Well, yeah, except Karma's a bitch and she comes hard.
Okay.
Tell us.
So that was right before summer.
And then summer happened and we were going into our senior year.
Well, senior year, we get to paint our own parking spaces.
We get to have our own thing, you know, the whole nine we have our own, like literally
(24:52):
there's a whole senior section of just parking.
So I would park and then his parking space is only so ours.
Mine was like right here.
His was like a cross remind on the other side.
I could still, I could spit into the back of his fucking truck.
So it kind of died down over the summer and nobody said anything about it until somewhere
(25:12):
along the lines, I guess he did it to somebody else.
In the TV production.
Yes.
No.
He was the hoe.
Yes.
He had done right.
He did it to some other girl and this girl was like not defensive of herself.
She was very shy.
She was very timid.
She was an introvert.
She didn't, you know what I mean?
Like it was all the things and everybody responded more like bettered or bettered.
(25:38):
Better hers than they did to mine.
They were like, Oh my God, like, why would you do that?
Did this whole thing?
I decided I had had enough because the baseball team was still coming to me and asking me
to do things and, you know, yeah, like it was fucking sleazy.
And so like every day I'm having to go to school going, wonder who's going to ask me
(26:00):
today to suck their dick in the back of whatever, you know, cause God forbid I should be a female
who likes to have sex.
I know it's a weird concept guys.
Get the fuck over it.
Females have sex.
So me and two of my best friends, we were over it.
We were so over it that we decided to pack our own lunches for the next day and it wasn't
(26:23):
for us to consume.
Okay.
Oh no.
So we packed a lunchbox and it had baloney.
We had tuna fish.
We did actually have tuna fish cans in there that we opened, but it wasn't the cans or
excuse me, I said cans.
It was the, it was the pouches.
So they were easy to rip and throw away.
(26:45):
We got the markers that you can write on the windows with.
I mean, anything you can think of, we probably put it on that car.
And what did you write on the car?
Early dismissal day is when we decided to do it because we could sneak out of that last
class and we got to the parking lot before anybody else and we just started strategically
(27:06):
placing the fucking baloney all over his little Hyundai Santa Pay.
That's what he drove.
A white one.
Okay.
Oh, and that's sweet.
Mommy and daddy bought it.
So obviously.
Um, I put the, the baloney, um, one of my other friends put the tuna fish like in the
(27:26):
seals of the windows so that when you ever up and down it, yeah, it was, oh, and then
on the back of the car, um, we wrote something to the effect of like, um, stop using your
dick to get yourself around.
You know what I mean?
(27:47):
Like it's not that big anyway.
And then like we would, we would, we were drawn like little things on there and on the
front, my friend put a finger that like pointed to the driver's seat and then put shrimp around
the side of it.
Like Drew, Drew shrimp, not like actual shrimp, like Drew shrimp on there to show like, Hey,
(28:07):
this is you.
Well, I did not know this in the beginning, but I guess afterwards they had painted over
his, his parking spot.
I was no, I wasn't a part of that at all.
But I do remember when he came out and saw his car that day along with everybody else,
they were all just like, what the fuck did you do?
(28:29):
That's amazing.
Like they started like, did you get in trouble?
I did not get in trouble at all because I guess what I did, I jumped in my little F-150
and said, I'm out.
Not the fact that you had the F-150.
I did.
I mean, I grew up in, you know, little Po-Dunk town.
So I had, you know, my little 92 F-150 baby two door, two gasoline tanks.
(28:52):
I love that.
Fucking gangster shit, man.
And he had his little Hyundai Santa Fe and he was, you know, using mommy and daddy's
money.
Like it was nothing.
And he called me a fucking whore, a fucking slut, a fucking fat ass bitch.
And I said, I told him, I was like, if that's the worst thing that you can call me, I guess
I'm doing my job right.
(29:12):
Cause you called me fat.
You didn't call me ugly.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm fat all day.
I don't give a flying fuck with anybody thinks about me now, but your dick will never get
any bigger.
So that sounds like a problem, but it was totally embarrassing because my TV production
teacher found out about it.
Oh no.
Yeah.
(29:32):
And he was like, do you understand like that can get you expelled.
That can ruin your chances of going to full sale.
That can ruin a lot of things that can ruin, I can get fired for it because I'm allowing
this to happen.
Like, there was a lot of shit that went into that.
And I was like, well, I didn't think of all that cause you know, it was in the moment,
the heat of the moment.
(29:53):
You don't think of much.
Clearly right Valerie.
I mean legs spread open and you were going to get it within a mile.
So get it in a mile.
See, I feel like my story is not like, I mean, my story is fucked up.
My story is fucked up, but in the same aspect like it wasn't sexual.
(30:14):
So I, you know, I'm a little more.
I'm a story.
So well, that's because we're the whores.
And you're not, you know, well, we're, we're again, potential suitors here.
We're keyword find us on Facebook dating.
So, XO gossip girl.
(30:35):
Oh my God.
Okay, so I'll tell my story.
So I'm going to kind of go back to as well.
This happened.
I was 15 years old and it's actually going back to the same exact story of the first
guy lost my virginity that we talked about in the other episode.
So we're going to call him L on this one.
(30:55):
So after everything had happened and I'd catfished him done all that other bullshit right.
He ended up after my grandfather's funeral moving to Florida and my family actually allowed
him to move into the house and, and so forth and so on.
Right.
And he moved down in April by July.
His family had asked for us to fly up to Illinois to go and actually spend two weeks
(31:19):
up there and go camping and do all this stuff.
Right.
So I'm like, yeah, totally down.
So we start packing up all of our stuff.
They buy us the plane tickets.
We leave, we get on the plane, get off the plane.
Once we make it to, I think we landed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and they picked us up.
And as soon as I got in the car, like I noticed my stomach was hurting on the airplane, but
I didn't think anything of it because I had my period like two weeks beforehand.
(31:41):
And sometimes like I've flown a lot since I was a kid.
I'd get like stomach cramps and stuff like that.
So sometimes I'm not always thinking that it's a period as much as I'm thinking it's
the other right.
So we get off the plane and I stopped to use the bathroom at, at the airport.
And I realized like, I'm not just like starting a light period.
I'm having one of those really heavy periods.
(32:03):
Okay.
Well, my dumb ass didn't bring any tampons because I was like, Oh, well, I can get someone
some there.
You know what I mean?
And it's not even be towards the end of the trip.
So it won't be an issue because I brought money to go.
So I'm like, it's not an issue, right?
Well, lo and behold, I'm at the airport.
I see that I am now like flooded.
Looks like I literally just pissed myself in blood and my jeans, like the inner purge
jeans, you know, like when you soak it so bad that like you can look at the outside of
(32:25):
your jeans and it's like all bloody, right?
So that's the way it is.
And I'm like, Oh my God.
And all my bag just still in baggage claim, right?
So I can't even change.
I'm just not like I brought my suitcase in there with me.
Right.
So I decide to roll up some toilet paper and I just jam it like on top to like, like
almost like make a pad.
Okay.
With the toilet paper.
I've done it before.
(32:46):
Right.
Okay.
So I'm this is the first time also that I'm meeting his family.
Any of them.
I've never met his family before.
Okay.
So here I am.
Just a 15 year girl like, Hey, I'm here.
I'm your boyfriend.
Are your daughters boyfriends?
Wait.
What is it?
Yep.
You're son's girlfriend?
Girlfriend.
Yeah.
There you go.
And how long are you dating at this point?
Um, at that, well, he'd moved in April.
(33:06):
We'd started dating online.
You know what I mean?
So we were dating for real.
I want to like for real for like, well, he moved down in April.
So I would really consider like really like in person dating.
I met him the first time in the beginning of March.
So I would say March was when we started actually dating, dating, but I meant we were online
dating for probably about six months before.
(33:27):
Okay.
So, but I'd never met his family because his family lived in Illinois.
I live down in Florida, right?
So anyways, so I'm, you know, I'm being introduced to mom and the sister.
I haven't met the dad yet because the dad's still at the house and we get in the car and
I don't see anything.
I don't even say anything to him because I'm like, I don't even want to tell him.
I'm so fucking embarrassed.
Right.
So we get to the house.
(33:47):
I'm just expecting like it's going to be his dad when we get there.
We pull up to the house and his grandparents are there.
His all this aunts and uncles are there.
Oh my God.
And then to kind of preface this with they have been living this house since both of
his kids were, like both of the kids were born, right?
So and it's a small little neighborhood.
The whole neighborhood is really all super close.
And there's probably like 15 houses in this neighborhood, right?
(34:10):
And it's kind of like in this big circle, but they're like in the corner of that circle
and this like little part like by the called a sec area and of course they are.
Of course they are.
And they have like, they have like the corner lot and everything, right?
So like they had the biggest property.
They had the other house was beautiful.
It was absolutely gorgeous.
And the dad did everything to this house and before his son came, he decided that he was
(34:31):
going to get the whole yard re-sotted and he was going to, they remodeled the basement.
They did all these different things cause it was like a tri level home.
So up north we had it like when you'd walk in the house, it was like when you first walked
in, it was like living room and kitchen and like a bathroom and stuff in the dining room.
And then you'd go up the stairs to go to the bedrooms or they're in there.
Like right next to each other was split level and the stairs to go downstairs, which it
(34:53):
was their basement.
Yeah.
And then their basement was where the laundry room was, their little bar.
And then they had their like actual living room, okay?
In a closet.
Typical up north home.
Typical up north home.
Right.
So I get there and I'm already like socially awkward to a certain extent, especially at
that age where I'm like, no, there's too many people and I'm being introduced to them
(35:14):
all at the same fucking time, right?
And here I am with like bloody legs.
Okay.
And so I'm afraid now because we've been sitting in the car the whole time that my ass is covered
in blood, right?
That's like my worst fear.
I don't want to get behind me like, oh honey, your butt.
It's red.
Not only that too.
It's like you get hot butt when you're like, oh yeah.
So I'm like, and then the smell comes right.
Right.
(35:35):
So I'm like, I get inside and I'm, I have my bag and I'm like, um, where's, where's your
bathroom?
I really have to pee and I'm just trying to create a suit.
She's like, well, let me get you to the room first where you're going to stay.
So this way you can put it down.
Then I'll show you where the bathroom is because I still have my bag, right?
Now I'm fighting like a crowd of like 15 people in the house when I'm walking and I'm like,
hey, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
I'm like behind me and I make it upstairs.
(35:56):
I go in the room.
I open up my backpack.
I grab out a pair of underwear.
I grab out another pair of pants because I'm like, I just got to switch real quick.
Right.
And I'm like, there's got to be, there's a daughter and a mother that share this bathroom.
There's got to be tampons or pads in this bathroom.
Right.
So I go in there.
I close the door real quietly.
Everybody's being loud there and I start searching through their cabinets for tampons
or pads.
(36:18):
There's none.
Where the fuck they keep them in this house?
Who the fuck knows?
It's not there.
All right.
So I go into panic mode.
Okay.
Because I'm like, what am I going to do?
I can't just keep rolling up all the toilet paper.
Right.
And so like I literally take off my underwear and I like I set them down and I take off
my jeans and I fold up my jeans.
And I mean, by this point, my underwear, like I'm pretty sure I could have, sorry, TMI,
(36:42):
but I could have squeezed the blood out and it would have dripped out.
That's how soaked my underwear were.
Oh my God.
So I'm like, I'm not wrapping these in my jeans.
You don't even know what you normally would.
You'd wrap it up in your pants to like hide it.
Right.
Yeah.
I couldn't do that because they were light colored jeans.
And I'm like, I got to soak these.
I got to figure out what I'm going to do for the jeans.
But what do I do?
You know what I mean?
So I'm, and at this point, we're doing our older selves.
We're like, just put peroxide on.
Right.
(37:02):
And now I didn't think of that.
So I'm like, I'm just going to throw them away.
Okay.
So I wipe off.
I'm like washing off.
I have like the little white cup that they had in there and I'm like pouring the water
on trying to rinse it off, clean myself off.
I put my new under on, put my jeans on and I go to grab my clothes and I go to grab my
underwear to throw them in the garbage can and I go, wait a minute, where's the garbage
can?
(37:23):
Right.
There's no garbage can around.
Okay.
In this bathroom, who the fuck does?
Okay.
I just want to pause and say who the fuck does not have a garbage can in their bathroom.
Or tampons.
All right.
But okay.
You nasty fucks.
I get it.
Maybe they carry them in their room and they just bring it in there because the bathroom
is small and they all share it.
But where the fuck is your garbage can?
Do you not have garbage while you're in the bathroom?
All right.
(37:44):
Who the fuck doesn't?
Okay.
So I'm like, what am I going to do now?
Okay.
Because I haven't walked to the, I don't know where there's the closest garbage can, right?
So I'm like, now I'm out of 15.
Right.
So I literally fold the underwear up and I'm holding them in my hand.
Okay.
Like balled up in my hand.
My hand's now bloody, right?
I don't want it.
Like you can't see the blood from the outside, but it's like wrapped in my hand as tight
(38:04):
as part as I can, right?
So I go in the room and I'm looking in the bedroom as I'm putting my jeans next to my
suitcase.
I'm wearing a little dirty clothes pile.
There's no garbage can in the bedroom.
So I'm like, well, what am I going to do?
So I literally start walking downstairs with it in my hand.
Cause I was like, oh, I'll just wash my hands.
Like I'll come back up and wash my hands.
Right.
Well, the only garbage can that I could see was in like an eye shot that was in a distance
(38:28):
in the kitchen, right?
That was all the way in the corner and now everybody was in the kitchen.
Right.
And I'm like, there's no fucking way I'm walking with bloody panties in my hand and throwing
them away.
Hey, nice to meet you guys.
I'm tossing out my underwear.
I'll top it right back.
Okay.
Like, no, like I'm, there's no fucking way.
Okay.
So my dumb ass panics.
Right.
(38:48):
I turn the fuck around.
I go back into the bathroom and I'm now standing there losing my shit.
Okay.
Like straight up hyperventilating going, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.
Like freaking out.
Okay.
So at 15 years old, I'm like, you know what?
Fuck it.
I'm going to flush them down the toilet.
Oh my God.
Oh, hell no, man, what the fuck, man?
(39:12):
So that means said, here I go.
I drop them in the toilet and I flush.
I watch them swirl around the toilet.
The water turns pink.
It goes down.
I'm like a mission accomplished.
We're good.
I mean, this is completely fine.
Everything's back to normal.
Everything's great.
Like spoiler alert.
It's not fucking fine.
Right.
So I go ahead and I wash my hands off in the sink and I'm like, all right, I put on my
(39:36):
smiling face and I walk my happy ass downstairs.
Right.
We go on with normal day.
Everything's fucking great.
Can we talk about what you did when you didn't have a pad though?
Like, yeah, I just keep changing your underwear and your.
So what I did was I wrapped up a whole bunch of paper towels, a whole bunch of toilet paper
and I set it as a pad in later on that day.
(39:57):
The mom was going to go to the grocery store.
So I asked if I could go with and I ended up going.
I just got my period today.
Is it okay if I get some and she was like, yeah, go ahead.
So I ended up going and getting tampons when I was there.
Right.
Okay.
Okay.
So we get back to the house the same night.
Okay.
And the dad, like the bags are on the counter.
So I grab my tampons out and he stops me and he goes, Hey, real quickly.
(40:20):
Don't flush just on the toilet.
Yeah.
He goes, can you do me a favor?
He goes, I'm going to give you like a, like a plastic bag, like a grocery bag.
If you can just throw your tampons in there and then you just throw them out, just give
me a couple of them. He goes, because do not flush the tampons down our toilet because
we have a really bad like septic and it will back up if you flush a tampon.
Immediately I'm like, yeah, no problem.
(40:45):
I will not flush a tampon.
Nope.
I'm not going to flush a tampon.
No problem.
I'll put it in the bag.
Great.
Well, the next day, okay, we leave and we go to Wisconsin Dells to go camping for the
couple of days.
Right.
So four days we're up in Wisconsin Dells.
We're camping, everything's fine.
I completely forget about it.
Right.
Doesn't even cross my fucking mind.
We get back to the house that, that morning I get home and I was like, or get back to
(41:09):
his house and I'm like, you know what?
I need to take a shower because I just felt grody even though they had showers at the
campsite we were at.
I just wanted to take like a hot shower.
So I go upstairs.
I get in the shower.
At this point I'm like, I'm enjoying the water.
I'm scrubbing my hair.
I got all my hairs all nice and lather with soap and all of a sudden I hear on the door.
(41:32):
Right.
And I'm like, yeah.
And all of a sudden El goes, turn off the fucking water right now.
Oh my God.
Turn it off.
Oh my God.
And I'm like, okay.
And so like I turn at the one I'm like, what's wrong?
And he's like, our fucking basement's flooding.
Oh my God.
And I go, what?
And he's like, get down here.
Right.
So now I literally look like, like my hair is like totally lathered.
(41:54):
Like you do when you scrub it and it's all nice and white.
Right.
And I hold it up.
I like literally throw a towel on and I'm running down the stairs.
I'm like, what's going on?
And as I look downstairs, they're newly freshly carpeted carpet that's now in their basement
is completely flooded.
It backed up because they had one of those drains that were in the laundry room on the
floor.
Okay.
(42:14):
So it's literally coming up by the masses.
Okay.
Oh my God.
It's now flooding their whole living room, their couches soaked, their end tables, their
TV stand, everything is soaked, their closet soaked like the water.
There's like literally an inch and a half of water on the floor.
Oh my God.
And it's just pouring up.
(42:34):
So the dad's like outside, he's trying to shut the water off.
He's doing everything you can to get the water to go off.
Right.
He finally gets the water off and he's like, he comes in and he's like, did you flush a
tampon?
And I go, no, sir, I didn't flush a tampon.
Cause I wasn't lying.
I didn't flush a tampon.
I didn't ask if I flushed my underwear.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And so at this point I'm like in fight or flight.
(42:55):
Okay.
Like I'm like, I need to fucking go.
Like I go in the bedroom and I'm like, fuck it.
I'm like literally bunting my hair up with the soap in my hair cause I couldn't rinse
it off.
Right.
I literally had my hair in a bun.
I tie it up.
I literally throw on my clothes.
I'm like packing up my bags and I'm like, I need you to come get me like right now.
I need you to come from Florida and I need you to come get me.
(43:16):
Now.
Right now.
Right.
Fuck now.
So fast forward.
Okay.
About two hours later, the like a septic guy shows up.
Right.
And I'm watching him literally tear up his freshly sodded brand new perfect looking
lawn.
Oh my God.
(43:37):
And I mean digging like a big hole in his yard and he's now taking a snake and like one
those big long ones, like the electric ones that they have that's like drills and it's
like, you know, 200 feet long.
And I'm standing in the garage like shaking like I've got Parkinson's.
Okay.
And I'm standing there and I'm like, this is not good.
This is not good.
Okay.
Now I'm going to, I'm going to like set the scene here.
(43:58):
Here I am in the garage, right?
Dad L and the dude that's fixing it is all standing around the hole.
The neighbors are now out standing at the driveways watching.
Okay.
Going on.
What is going on?
Okay.
Cause they know how proud he is of his yard.
Like he's the one that's out there every day.
Like some of these old guys that are sitting there like picking every weed doing all that
(44:19):
kind of.
Yeah.
My dad.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
The pride of how their house looks.
Okay.
They take very well care of it.
So they're very proud of it.
Right.
So I'm standing like literally deer and headlights just standing in the garage staring like big
eyed, like not blinking just like, fuck my life right now.
Maybe it's something else.
(44:40):
Cause I'm going, it's been a week.
It's had to flush by now.
You know what I mean?
Oh, it's been a week at this point.
It's been a week, but you gotta think we were also gone for four or five days on that
trip.
Right.
Okay.
So all of a sudden I hear the thing.
Okay.
It means it catches something right?
Like it stops like, right?
(45:00):
Oh, it caught something.
No, it caught something.
Okay.
So all of a sudden he kicks it in reverse and you're just, I'm just watching it spin up.
Okay.
And I'm like, please.
Like a flag.
Cause the guy was like, it could just be like you could have had, because they had a whole
bunch of trees in there.
You are too like big oak trees.
He's like, it could have been a branch broken to like one of the pipe beans.
You know what I mean?
It could just be that right?
(45:20):
So I'm like, please, please, please.
As it's coming up and all of a sudden I see my panties wrapped around the snake.
Right.
And I'm like, oh no.
I now freeze and I just like, I can't move.
Okay.
I am like dead staring at this.
All three of them, literally all three of them, including the septic guy who had no idea
(45:43):
who the fuck I was turns and all look at me.
At this point, I'm literally about to be like Jesus running on water.
Okay.
Because I'm about to fucking hitchhike back to Florida at this point.
I'm literally about to fucking cry and literally the dude peels them off the snake.
(46:06):
Hands them.
No, hands them to the dad.
The dad takes some turns around, looks at L goes, here's your girlfriend's panties.
L turns around and looks at me like, what the fuck?
Like the disappointment, I think was worse than the anger that I knew he felt in that
(46:26):
moment.
And he just stared at me for a minute and then with his hands still straight out holding
it with like thumb and pointer walks it straight to me, stares at me, says nothing, drops it
on the ground, puts his hand down and goes, why?
That's a good question.
A solid question.
I literally start bawling in that moment.
(46:47):
I literally start bawling.
I'm like, I'm so sorry.
I take off running in the house.
My panties still on the garage.
I'm not like right in front of the garage, right?
I just take off in the house and I'm like, I don't even want to look at them.
I don't want to look at you.
I didn't want to look at the mom.
I didn't want to look at the dad.
I didn't want to look at the sister.
And I definitely didn't want to look at L, right?
I'm like, now I'm done.
We need to go.
(47:08):
I gotta go home.
My mom's calling me.
At that point, I wish we were still in Florida because I'd been like, I would have started
hitchhiking at that point, thumb out everything.
I would have showed some leg, like give me the fuck out of here.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I got a good, like I got my period.
Clearly.
So here I am sitting in the room bawling my eyes out.
Okay.
(47:29):
I call my mom and I'm like, I really messed up.
Please just say I want to come home and she's like, Oh my God.
Why would you do that?
And so he comes in the room and he's like, are you okay?
And I said, no, I'm not.
I was like, I feel like such as, he goes, why would you do it?
And so I had to literally sit there and explain to him the whole scenario.
(47:50):
He starts busting out laughing.
He's like, you're a fucking idiot.
You're an idiot.
And he goes, I can't believe you did that.
And I was like, I don't want to face your dad.
I said, can we please leave?
Like I want to go home right now.
Like I don't even want to be here anymore.
I said, I'm an asshole.
I'm, I'm dumb.
Okay.
And I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't, I don't want to see your sister.
(48:10):
I don't want to see your mom.
I definitely don't want to see your dad.
You talk about me running.
Oh no.
Like I want to run.
Like I get your, I get your running thing, but in this situation, boy, I've never wanted
to run so fucking hard in my life.
And that one, I, it keeps a permanent place in my brain.
Yeah.
(48:31):
A permanent place.
And now the running joke with everybody that knows the story will be like, oh, you're
on your period.
Don't go fleshing your panties.
I know.
So did, what did the dad say?
Oh, he came and talked to me because we ended up leaving two days later.
You did?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
(48:52):
Yep.
We got a ticket back home because I did not want to say it.
She said, uh-huh.
Yep.
Sure did.
Sure did.
Fuck I was out.
But the dad came up to me and he goes, listen, he goes, I wish you to just told me.
He goes, because I could have saved myself a lot of money.
Oh, there's that.
And then he's like, I just put like four grand into the yard.
He goes, I just spent about six grand in the basement.
(49:14):
He goes, now I just had to pay an extra like four or $500 to get the sewage or septic company
to come out.
He goes, now I have to go and put the money into getting the basement carpet done.
Like I had to bring out like, what the, like a carpet cleaner place and they had to like
get all the water out of it and because that will get moldy.
Right.
Right.
(49:34):
So yeah, they did do the couches, like all that shit.
So I ended up costing him just to fix my flushing of panties over like $1,100 when I was like
15.
You know what I mean?
And so in preference, I'm almost 40 now.
So yeah, it was, it sucked.
Well, you know the good thing about between then and now, your panties have gotten smaller.
Yeah.
(49:55):
No, I think my panties got bigger.
I mean, I wore thongs back then.
Yeah.
But they're like, they're more discreet now than they used to be.
Think about it.
Yeah.
But I'm also bigger than I was at 15.
Shut the fuck up.
You always have to take it there.
Take it there.
Don't take it.
There's more inches the bigger you get in your underwear.
(50:15):
It has more, more, more, yes.
More yurage to cover.
You know what I mean?
It's thinner material.
It's more of it.
Yeah.
It's more of it.
That's embarrassing.
I think that that top C embarrassing stories that's pretty fucking embarrassing.
Yeah.
At least ours didn't cost us any money.
I know.
Yeah.
I prayed real well.
I don't know what to say.
(50:36):
Clearly we're almost 40 years old.
Yeah, yeah.
So I would never do that again.
Never.
I would hope not.
Nope.
I, you know what?
You think you're nervous to flush tampons
in other people's houses now?
I know, I don't blame you.
I'm like, are you on City or something?
I'm gonna ask this question.
Yeah, no I do.
I mean, I've asked that before.
Like I've asked you that before we went to your mom's house
(50:57):
when I was on my period, when you lived down
at the house of the little pool.
Yeah.
Are you guys on City here?
Are you guys just like, is it a well?
I loved the house.
I did too.
We had a lot of good memories.
Yes, it's cool.
So yeah.
But that was rough.
That was rough.
All your guys' stories were rough though too though.
Like, I mean, especially for you, Liz, like honestly,
(51:19):
the fact, and it's not so much what happened
in that moment that was embarrassing.
It was the aftermath.
Right, it's the aftermath of all of the asshole
high schoolers literally, especially the baseball team
trying to come to you and be like, oh, you're a hoe.
So you want to get down.
You know what I mean?
It's so gross.
That shit sucks, especially if you had to wait
till the next year to even get back at grandma.
(51:41):
That just shows you how.
You know the funny thing is my parents,
none of my family ever knew that happened either.
Really?
Like I kept that shit under fucking wraps.
Well, now they're going to know.
I feel like it's also public school.
Well, I don't think my dad's listening to this.
And if he is, what's up?
What is it?
I feel like if I was in public school at that point,
that would have been my 13th reason.
You know what I mean?
I'm glad about that.
Listen.
There was a lot of reasons.
(52:03):
There was a lot of fucking reasons
that had to have been like top 10.
Oh, at least top 10.
That's rough.
I mean, that's, I realized that people get bullied
for shit like that.
Like you've seen, I've seen shows like that, you know?
Where that pretty much exact, not quite to that extent,
but I'll pretty close to that.
And I mean, that like baseball players,
cheerleaders, football players,
(52:25):
any athletic sport was coming up to me.
And the sad part was I was an athlete too.
Like, yes, big girls are athletes too.
Fuck all the way off.
But like, you know what I mean?
I still, I was still a part of, you know, all that shit.
Yeah.
And here I am in the middle of it.
And the worst part is like what I did was nothing
compared to what the cheerleaders or the football players
or anybody else did at any of the house parties,
(52:47):
they just didn't do it at school.
Right.
So whatever.
That's a pretty bad ass dude.
You got stories to tell.
I mean, I got stories for other people,
but we don't have time for that.
Cause boy, I could tell you about some,
remember the time that the guy thought
I was going to get pregnant?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I wish we had time to tell that story.
No, but we definitely could make this a part two
of tell other embarrassing stories of other people
or even in listeners.
(53:08):
So with that being said,
anybody wants to share any stories.
Okay.
Any embarrassing stories you can go anonymous
or we can say your name, whatever you prefer.
We would love to tell your story because
ain't no shame in our game.
None.
Sure.
Clearly none.
Clearly none.
Well now there is.
I wouldn't, again, I wouldn't do that again.
No, no, no, hold on.
(53:28):
Let her just, we're going to rewind that.
There's shame in her game because she's,
she's sad she got caught.
That's not true.
Diary X away there says.
You would have probably forgot about it
if you didn't get caught.
Where's the crickets?
Right?
I know.
I know.
I know it.
(53:49):
Oh shit.
Yeah, I think you would have.
But with that being said,
if you have stories,
cause we really want to hear you guys
tell you stories,
I don't want this whole show to be about us all the time
cause yeah,
we're cool and everything and we have some pretty exciting
shit happening in our lives,
but we can,
we're, we're boring compared to you guys,
which is our listeners,
who we love and adore.
(54:11):
So if you want to send in your cringe worthy story
or embarrassing story,
send it to unhingedmemories at gmail.com.
Also subscribe to our stories here on
Apple, Pandora, iHeartRadio, Spotify, YouTube.
You name it, we're fucking on it.
And you better be listening and subscribing and sharing
(54:31):
on it.
Yep.
And you can also find us on social media.
We're on Facebook, TikTok and Instagram,
all unhingedmemories,
except for an Instagram,
we are the unhingedmemories.
Correct.
Send all your stories to any of,
any of the platforms that we told you to,
or that we just voiced,
not that we told you to,
cause we don't have to do anything,
but we would appreciate it if you would just share with us.
Cause like,
fuck man,
(54:52):
we like to laugh.
We also have snap.
Oh yeah, we have Snapchat now.
We're part of the cool kids.
We do.
Unhingedmemories on Snapchat.
Send us all the pictures too, cause like,
we'll snap back.
Hell yeah, we will.
Hell yeah, we will.
Yeah, we will.
Well, until the next episode,
which is going to be fun and interesting,
we will see you guys soon.
(55:12):
Just wait for the next episode,
but we got some gifts for you.
Hell yeah, see you guys next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Valell groteح assembler.
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