January 22, 2025 • 54 mins
Episode Summary:
This week, we’re getting real, raw, and vulnerable as we tackle one of life’s hardest battles: depression. In true Unhinged Memoirs style, we’re breaking the stigma and sharing our unfiltered journeys through the darkest days, the small victories, and the moments that proved we’re unbreakable.
This isn’t your typical “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” conversation—we’re talking about beating depression in ways that work for you. Whether it’s crying in the shower, dancing like no one’s watching, therapy, or just surviving hour by hour, we’re here to remind you: there’s no “right” way to heal.
What to Expect:
• Our Stories: How depression hit us and the messy, non-linear paths we’ve taken to healing.
• Unconventional Coping Mechanisms: The weird, wild, and surprisingly effective ways we’ve found light in the darkness.
• Why Your Terms Matter: Letting go of societal expectations and finding what works for you.
• Finding Humor in the Pain: Because sometimes, laughing through the tears is the only way forward.
This episode is a love letter to everyone fighting their own battle with mental health. You are unbreakable, even when it doesn’t feel like it, and we’re here to remind you that you don’t have to face it
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I just want you to know that I'm sorry.
(00:02):
What's up everyone?
Welcome back to our eighth episode of Unhinged Memoirs.
(00:23):
Today we're tackling a topic that's heavy, but also incredibly important.
And since January is Mental Wellness Month, we're going to be talking about depression.
Today's episode is all about finding your way to fight back.
We are calling this one Unbreakable, Beating Depression on Your Terms.
Because no one's journey is the same.
What works for one person may not work for the other.
And that's okay.
(00:44):
I'm Jess.
I'm Liz.
And I'm Val.
So let's first start out and say how important it is to even recognize the signs and symptoms
of depression.
100%.
So we're going to just dive right into it.
Am I stopping or do we keep going?
(01:04):
It wouldn't be our podcast if we didn't laugh.
So just bear with it.
I know this is a very, it's a heavy issue.
Okay.
Okay.
Listen, I just want to preface this with all for all of our listeners listening.
I suffer with bad anxiety and depression and we are all fucked up right now in this episode
(01:28):
because it took me 30 minutes just to record the intro, which still sounds like shit.
So I do apologize.
So bum is to get it out there.
Okay.
So even though this is a very important topic, we still do have our moments where we're dealing
with our own shit.
So we just have to laugh about it.
Yeah.
Laughing is a type of medicine.
If you don't laugh, you'll cry.
Like we said that in the sneak peek.
(01:48):
So this is what you're getting.
We are unhinged and fucked up.
We're not into the shit show.
Percent.
All right.
Let's get serious for a second.
My bad.
All right.
So number one, a depressed mood.
Most of the day, nearly every day you're feeling sad, you're empty and you're hopeless.
Now in children and adolescents, it does kind of look like they can have an irritable mood.
(02:09):
So that's something to watch out for as well.
Number two is a markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all or most of activities.
Most of the day, nearly every day.
Number three, significant weight loss, whether you're not dieting, weight gain or decrease
or increase in appetite nearly every day.
In children, it does consider depression if there's failure to make expected weight gains.
(02:35):
Number four is insomnia and hypersomnia.
So hypersomnia would be you're sleeping too much, obviously insomnia, not enough.
Number five, you have psychomotor agitation.
So nearly every day you're appearing either restless or you're slowed down.
Number six, fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
(02:55):
Number seven, feelings of worthlessness or excessive slash inappropriate guilt nearly
every day.
Number eight, diminished ability to think or concentrate or indecisiveness nearly every
day.
And number nine, recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal ideation without a specific plan
or suicide attempt or specific plan for committing suicide.
(03:16):
Now obviously trigger warning.
This is a part of the episode that we're going to have to make aware of people's triggers.
So we'll go more into that and how to help people.
So I think these are very, very straightforward signs and symptoms of depression.
I agree with that.
But I do want to say one thing coming from someone that does deal with depression.
(03:39):
I think those are great signs and symptoms for people looking on the outside at someone
with it for sure.
But how do we be more self aware of our own?
And I think that's for at least my part of the issue because there's times where I am
going into my depression slope and I don't realize I'm going into that depression because
(04:00):
I don't feel any different in that moment in the beginning of it.
And it takes a lot of self awareness to me go, oh, wait a minute, am I dealing with depression?
Because it's little things that just start to happen.
Like I start getting where I'm struggling wanting to go and shower every single day.
And I'm noticing I'm not taking care of myself properly or I'm not wanting to do many things.
But that's also sometimes just burnout for me as well.
(04:22):
So it's hard sometimes.
Burnout is a trigger for depression though.
Absolutely.
And I wholeheartedly can see that, especially when you deal with it.
But in the same aspect, not always do I correlate that that's what's going on.
Right.
Now I do want to point out that these are the clinical symptoms.
This is how you get diagnosed with.
(04:42):
So if you're going in and you're getting diagnosed, they're like, okay, well, are you feeling
hopeless?
Are you feeling restless?
Are you feeling agitated?
Are you feeling irritable?
Just not like yourself.
You're not enjoying anything anymore that you used to.
So these are clinical symptoms.
Now along with that is a broader view of what you're explaining.
So you can't put in, do you get up and not feel like you want to shower?
(05:04):
That is a part of depression.
Oh, absolutely.
So they're not going to put that in there.
So I just do want to preface that.
So if anyone's confused, these are the clinical symptoms that you get diagnosed with depression.
Okay.
That makes sense.
I'd also like to preface this by saying like depression is not textbook.
Like everybody goes through depression in different ways.
It's not always black and white.
(05:26):
Like there are so many gray areas in it.
It's not even funny for me personally.
I notice it when I start to recluse from everybody, when I start pulling back and I'm not as talkative
or I'm not laughing at things certain ways or if I just want to be off by myself, put
my headphones in and just call it a day.
I might peace out.
(05:47):
That's when I know and I go, I'll sit there and go, wait a second.
Where is everybody?
Oh yeah.
And it's my doing.
You know what I mean?
That's not anything anybody else is doing.
It's my doing a hundred percent.
And I notice I get funky.
You know, I just, I'm in a funk and that's what I call it.
I've said it to you guys.
I don't know how many times I'm, I'm just in a funk right now.
(06:07):
Yeah.
And I get that cause I do the same thing.
I think for me, I'm not so like where I've tried to recluse the extent that you do, but
I do recluse and it's normally from anybody that's not directly in front of me.
Correct.
That's mine.
I know for a fact, I do that where people will start calling and I'm like, yeah, I
don't want to answer the phone.
I don't want to talk to people.
I don't want to do anything.
I just want to fucking lay in bed.
(06:28):
I don't know how many months straight forward did I have my phone on?
Do not disturb.
Yeah.
Correct.
Absolutely.
And then I'm like, is Valery okay?
No, what's going on with her?
I really genuinely in that moment thought that I was okay until I got out of it until
I got out of the depression and going, Oh shit, I was depressed.
Yeah.
Sometimes it takes you having like a quote unquote out of body experience and looking
(06:53):
from the outside in going, well fuck, or even sometimes just once you get out of a certain
situation and looking back at something as well and going, wow, I don't didn't realize
I was depressed, but depressed, depressed.
But now realizing it looking now going, I am fresh to very precious, but you know,
(07:13):
this is also, okay.
We'll talk about this part in a minute, but the coping comedy is my coping.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's not like watching comedy shows.
It's like me having to be comical.
That's like self deprecation.
Like talking so much shit about ourselves.
(07:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how you do it.
Self-defecation.
And I was like, I mean, if that's your thing, it's not really mine.
Two girls, one cup type situation.
I'm out.
All right.
So it just as much as there is signs of what depression looks like, what are, would anybody
have anything to add that would be signs of people like misinterpret as what depression
(07:58):
could be?
Um, actually I was cause listen, I look for this shit all fucking day and I, and I'm like,
how would somebody know that cares about me?
Like, no, that I'm not myself if they're not around me and they're not seeing me in everyday
life.
My family would be that huge part.
(08:18):
You know what I mean?
And um, my mom actually texted me the other day and she's like, you know, we haven't really
heard from you since Thanksgiving.
Like, what's going on with you?
Are you okay?
And I was like, oh, you know, just going through the, going through the motions, mom.
I don't know what you want me to tell you.
She's like, yeah, but you usually check in at least once a week.
(08:40):
And you haven't been, and I haven't been, and I had to go sit there and go, huh.
Hmm.
Well, there's that.
You don't, you don't recognize your own things sometimes unless somebody else is pointing
it out to you for you to go.
Oh yeah.
Light bulb.
I feel like that can lead us into what some of the common myths and misconceptions are
(09:02):
with having depression or what signs of depression are like, oh, depression is just sadness.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
It's rage.
It's it's irritability.
Irritability.
It is, there is sadness incorporated in there.
It's anxiety.
I mean, there's so many factors in depression.
Heavy on the anxiety.
(09:23):
Heavy on the anxiety.
And there's other people like a lot of the baby boomers and you know, I, sorry if anybody's
listening, oh, you can just snap out of it.
It's not how that works.
That takes work.
It takes a lot of work.
And there are, there are people that snap in and out of depression and I commend them.
I wish that I could have a quarter of the strength.
(09:45):
But I also, as someone who can snap out of depression, a lot of my depression is situational.
I don't have clinically diagnosed depression.
I have clinically diagnosed anxiety, which sometimes can put me into a depression from
overthinking with my anxiety.
Okay.
But mine's mainly situational.
(10:07):
So I can snap out of it, as people say.
However, also, well, buterin, we love you.
Okay.
That also fucking helps.
So it's not as easy for people who have diagnosed depression.
Sorry.
I see I'm clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
Now I will say though, there are times that I'm having situational depression or seasonal
(10:30):
depression, and I can sometimes snap out of those ones.
But if I'm just having my good old, old fashioned depression, no, there's nothing that pulls
me out of it.
And unless like that I can just do to just snap out of it.
I shouldn't say there's nothing I can do, but outside of taking the steps to work towards
it, those ones, that's not just an easy one, two, three fixed, I think.
Well, and then like back on your well buterin, because Lexapro, you're garbage and we like
(10:55):
well buterin better.
Anorexins or cop outs, I'd like to say fuck off, because they help me when I actually
take them.
Yeah, we'll just say that it's crazy.
Because I don't like to take them because I'm not a pill taker.
But you know, here we are.
However, let's talk about that for a second.
Oh, let's talk about that for a second.
(11:18):
Exact opposite, I don't take anything for either of them.
I know you don't.
And I don't feel like it's a cop out for people.
I don't think it's a cop out.
I think it's there to help aid, right to get you to where you need to be.
And if you want to get off of it, right, it helps you get to that point.
Sure.
That I understand, because I feel going one extreme to the other is tough.
(11:38):
Right.
And please understand, because I'm no doctor for any of this.
And I'm not trying to say don't take medication or do take medication.
All I'm saying for me personally, especially now, certain depression, I 100% believe needs
medication.
Right.
But depending on the situation, a lot of times I feel like medicine can also just be a band
aid for people not to deal with the issues at hand.
(12:00):
Correct.
And I feel like in junction to taking medication, if you're going to take medication, that you
also need to be following it up with therapy or coping that mechanisms or anything else.
Because the day you run out of medication, and that's out of your system, or you don't
get another dose or whatever the situation is, you end up 10 times worse off than beforehand.
(12:22):
So I'm a firm believer in therapy and coping mechanisms and finding ways to deal with it.
Because that medication as though it's great, a band aid is only there as such.
So let me expand on that.
Okay.
To further your point.
Okay.
When I first started taking well, buterin, I saw no way out.
I was super obviously my phone was on do not disturb.
(12:43):
I was isolating myself from you guys and everyone else around me.
I wouldn't talk to anyone at work.
I wouldn't go out anywhere.
I was not doing a damn thing for myself.
I started getting on well buterin.
I started noticing, okay, well, I'm, I'm more engaging.
I'm talking to people more.
I'm answering my phone.
My phone hasn't been on do not disturb.
Okay.
(13:03):
So I feel like my brain has slowed down enough that I'm starting to work towards bettering
myself and not just using the medication.
I'm doing better for my body.
I'm taking more vitamins and supplements.
I'm reading self help books to try to acknowledge where my issues are coming from to kind of
help myself instead of going to therapy right now.
(13:26):
Because I do have a therapist.
We love her.
We love you, Christine.
Um, you know, but I feel like I'm trying to take the steps in addition to that medication
because eventually I want to be off of it.
So while yes, I do believe in what you're saying and I can absolutely understand your
point of saying that it's a bandaid.
Sometimes that bandaid helps heal the skin underneath so I can, I can get forward.
(13:48):
You know what I mean?
And a hundred percent.
I do agree with that.
I'm not.
And again, that's why I said starting off of like, kind of like giving that warning
of like, I'm not a doctor.
I'm not saying don't take medication.
I'm not saying do take it.
I'm just saying you do what works best for you in that aspect.
But if you feel you need it, then a hundred percent, if that helps you heal, then I'm
a hundred percent of supporter of it.
So that was the point that I was making.
(14:09):
That's all.
Well, and like, there's also the point that, and I've heard it my entire life because I've
been a big girl my entire fucking life.
And I've had depression pretty much my entire life, but you hear, um, Oh, if you just, you
need to exercise and you need to eat better.
That's great for you, Tom.
Okay.
(14:30):
Let's just talk about, um, it's not something that can be cured by, you know, Kailin pushups.
I like that.
I, I just like, yeah, endorphins are released when you exercise and you, you do certain
things and you have better mind wellness and everything else.
Like I don't even know what to fucking say right now.
(14:51):
Cause I'm like, I get so irritated when people try to bring that into the whole effect.
Well, yes, going for a walk clears my head and then it allows me to think better and
have better thoughts coming in and it releases like, like I said, the endorphins that make
everything just go, it's still gonna, I'm still going to be depressed at the end of
the fucking day.
(15:11):
Do I know also why it's because when you're like just moving your body like that, you're
bringing consciousness into that moment.
Right.
Absolutely.
And I could see that, but when people base it off of, Oh, just go to the gym and you
know, let's go over there for five fucking hours a day and then eat your kale and your
fucking pita and your hummus, wrap it all up and just shove it down your throat and
that'll just make you happy.
(15:32):
No, the fuck it doesn't.
No, the fuck it doesn't.
You go over there and do your fucking bendy Barbie shit by yourself.
This is no offense to anybody that looks like Barbie or does, but I do want to, I do want
to like backtrack just for a second and go off the fact that again, as we stated in the
beginning of this is that it's not all one track for every single person that might work
(15:55):
for one.
It just doesn't work for all.
Right.
Absolutely.
And I stand by what the fuck I said.
Tento down on bendy.
Oh God.
We can segue into that by saying like, if someone seems happy, they can't be depressed.
I still laugh at fucking everything.
(16:17):
I mean, there are times where I'm like, not today.
I don't know if you've ever, and I know we all have seen them actually, the videos that
you can see on Facebook, I'm like even like Robin Williams and Chester Bennington and
in all, is it Bennington?
Bennington.
Yeah, Bennington.
And there's other ones that are out there.
Even I've seen the videos where people like this is my husband two days before he committed
suicide or this is my daughter, the night she committed suicide or whatever the situation
(16:42):
is and people are laughing and smiling.
I hate that misconception of people thinking, oh, well just because you're laughing and
smiling that you don't know what someone's dealing with on the inside.
I have no fucking idea.
No idea.
None whatsoever.
And who the fuck are you to pass judgment on anybody for how they deal with or cope
with their life and their feelings and their everything?
Absolutely.
Because I feel like they're also hanging on so hard.
(17:04):
That's why they do smile because they're hanging on to every good moment.
They're really cherishing every single good moment that they have because it's mostly
bad for them.
And I feel like that also segues into what you were talking about there is also goes
into people think that people don't have depression that joke about depression.
Right.
And I know for a fact all three of us have joked about depression at least 10 times a
(17:27):
day.
Yeah.
I'm going to throw myself down the stairs.
Oh, just kidding.
Not going to really do it guys.
But almost if I do, you know what I mean?
Or whoops, what if I just took it right in the jugular real quick?
It would be fine.
It'd be fine.
I think that's a little morbid and dark joking.
I mean, I mean, I work with someone honest.
(17:47):
I work with someone who's like that.
Yeah.
And I just, I have to walk away because I'm like, you need, you need help.
Like I've tried to talk to this kid.
But every time he comes in, I'm like, how are you?
He's like, well, I didn't throw myself in traffic today.
Like as we all go, right.
I know.
No, but it's like, it's dark humor like that constantly at work and it's hard to listen
(18:11):
to.
Well, also let's preface this by saying that we work in the medical field and 99.9% of
people that work in the medical field, a have depression and then B have dark humor to cope
with said depression and all the shit they see on a daily basis.
It's true.
It's part of burnout too.
It's 100% burnout.
Okay.
We'll sprinkle that in there like salt, but I know, I know anybody doesn't work in the
(18:32):
medical field.
I think the one thing that people don't realize is even if it's not so much labor intensive
all the time, it is mentally draining to such a high extent, high extent.
I hated that shit.
Yes.
I, I look back five years ago, you know, before I became even a nurse and I'm like, who was
(18:54):
she?
Cause I miss her.
You know, I was so bubbly.
I mean, I'm still bubbly, but I'm like, I, I was not this.
You're tainted.
I'm very tainted and it's sad because I lost a lot of my spark working in healthcare because
that shit.
Fuck it sucks.
Yeah.
But also you like helping people.
I love helping people.
I just don't like the toxic around it.
(19:15):
Oh yeah.
It's it's, there's a lot there, but that's another subject for another day.
Yes.
I love my patients.
So anyone who wants to sit here and talk, I should be out of nursing.
No.
Cause I, if anyone who knows me, I am the biggest patient advocate.
So don't even go there.
Don't even fucking try moving on.
Why don't we talk about some coping mechanisms or things that have worked for us.
(19:37):
Absolutely.
So I would say the number one for me has always been focusing on basic self care nutrition.
And I mean that not in like the way.
Go fuck your kale chips.
Okay.
No, but I just mean when I eat like shit, I feel like shit.
And I noticed when I'm depressed, I go on the benders of like ice cream and pop and
(19:58):
fucking chocolate and whatever the fuck else.
It's not pop.
It's, it's soda.
No, no, no, it's pop.
Y'all can fuck off.
All right.
Okay.
Anybody here from Chicago will tell you it's pop.
All right.
Anyone who's not from Chicago says the right thing is soda.
Either way.
Okay.
But when I start, like I noticed like when I'm, I'm good, I'm eating a little bit healthier,
(20:20):
making healthier choices.
Not so much like, Oh, I got to eat kale and fucking cottage cheese 24 seven, but I still
make healthier choices.
I also sleep better and working on sleeping as well.
I think that's a big one.
That's a huge one for you.
Especially for me because I do go from where I sleep too much or sleep.
Not at all.
I sleep for two, three days and then get back into the swing of like, I'm only sleeping
(20:43):
for two hours every two, three days.
And that's, that's the hard part.
And another one is I think hydration.
I have a really hard time with that.
When I am depressed, I don't touch a glass of water.
It's like, I feel like a camel.
How many times have I asked you, wait, how much water have you drank today?
And she'll just kind of look at me and look down at the ground and turn around and walk
away.
And then she'd be like, when's the last time you had water?
(21:06):
And I'll be like, um, three Sundays ago, um, from last year.
I'm bad about it.
I'm fucking bad about it.
Getting up and showering, washing your hair, fucking putting some makeup on, doing whatever.
Even when I don't feel like it, sometimes I have to force myself to go make myself feel
human.
Listen, you know, when I'm going through it, my hair's not done at all.
(21:28):
You know, when I'm going through it, when you look at my legs and it looks like Sasquatch
just shit all over my legs.
Okay.
I think we talked about that on the first episode.
Yeah, that is number one sign that I've been dealing with depression is when I don't shave.
Because my armpits will look like I just joined the feminist movement and it's, it's full
blown.
I'm off in Lovefield.
Not this.
(21:50):
We're not on TV.
So I was actually making the movement of just saying like I was going forward into the feminist
movement.
Not, not this, not that, but anyways.
Um, and what's another one?
I mean, realistically we can get off of my, let's go.
Be moving.
(22:11):
I, uh, I, I do music therapy.
Oh yeah.
I'm a fucking music.
I think both are very musicy, but you're, you're in it too.
You're huge on music.
Maybe not as much as we are, but you have like, I've listened to your fucking playlist
on Apple.
Yes.
We're all, we're all on Apple.
We all have really good playlists.
You should go follow.
I would just like to pick out that I am the biggest music junkie here because I have the
(22:34):
most minutes.
That's true.
Absolutely.
She is.
She is.
But like I notice my choice in music.
Oh yeah.
And then that will fuel whatever mood I'm trying to be in or whatever mood I'm currently
in.
You know what I mean?
And, uh, I noticed when I start listening to music more, if I walk around the house
and I have my headphones in and everybody else is around and they're talking to me and
(22:56):
I'm like, what the fuck are you saying?
Leave me alone.
They're like, got it.
Great.
All right.
Understood.
I would like to say one thing going off the music for a moment because I know I do it
and I am the worst at being self-aware of this until hand.
And that is when you are depressed and you know, you're depressed, stop listening to
fucking depressing music.
(23:17):
And I only, I know, believe you me, I have 14 depression playlists.
Oh no, I know.
I'm, I follow everyone.
And I will tell you, I will listen to the same song on repeat over and over and over
and over again because it's fueling my depression feeling.
It's like a comfort.
I almost, almost called you out right then and there, which ones it was.
Oh yeah.
I know you did, but it's comfort mixed with, with, I don't know, just like the safe place
(23:40):
to sit and be in it.
But also like in the moment, I think it's making me feel better, but it's really not
like it got to the point a few times where you would start playing the music and you
were just playing it for fun, but you would start to play the music and everybody would
stop.
All of us would just stop and turn around and look at her and go, are you okay?
And she'd go, yeah, I'm fine.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
Oh, I w I was just checking.
I was just making sure.
(24:01):
Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah.
My biggest one is Alison Shane's nutshell.
If that song comes on, it's such a big issue because everybody would be like, are you okay?
And I'm like, no, really?
It's just, it's my favorite song.
So it's fine.
Really?
So what's another coping mechanism that works?
I read.
Yes, you do.
I do.
Um, I read, well, I either listen to the books or I actually read the books.
(24:23):
So if I listen to them on Audible and I'm like, I really need that book, um, I listen
and read a lot of self-help books.
I don't like to read a lot of fiction because I'm a very practical person.
Right?
So I need things that are going to tell me this is your pattern.
Here's how you change it.
Here's how it helps.
So um, reading really helps me do that.
(24:45):
So I go a lot of introspective work when I do that and I do a lot of journaling with
that and I take a lot of notes.
Um, so doing that really helps me kind of acknowledge what I'm going through.
So you practice emotional awareness through it basically?
Very much so.
I'm very, like I am very self-aware.
I am very, very self-aware of the patterns, the thought patterns that I have.
(25:07):
I used to not be as aware, but because I've been going through a lot in the past five
years, I've learned to become very self-aware.
Would there be any advice you could give that could help someone become more self-aware?
Because I know for me, I personally struggle with being self-aware during depression only.
That's a loaded question.
(25:28):
Okay.
Because I feel when I'm starting to notice that I'm going through, okay, I know who I
am as a person when I'm not depressed.
Okay.
Okay.
Which is bubbly, outgoing, talkative.
Um, I'm more engaged at work.
I'm more engaged at home.
I like to go out and do things.
I like to go for drives.
I like to go to the beach and when I start to see myself not doing as many of those things,
(25:50):
not picking up the phone calls, that's when I go, hello, something's wrong immediately.
So in times like when you're going through your things and you're like, Hey, uh, my legs
haven't been shaved and like, you know what I mean?
Like that would be something that I would automatically do.
Now in that being said, being emotionally also aware, I go, okay, what's triggering
(26:12):
that?
And then I go, okay, well, um, I'm eating like shit.
I'm overreacting to situations.
I'm being hyper vigilant on things.
I'm over analyzing things.
I'm spacing out a lot more.
What is doing that?
Who is doing that?
(26:33):
What do I need to check in with myself?
Right.
So I do a lot of emotional check-ins, um, or I try to at least, and I think reading
those books have also helped me become aware of that and patterns.
I think that's really good advice.
I know I personally would like to work on being more self-aware when I'm heading into
my depression because I feel like I am so self-aware of everything else and everyone
(26:58):
else.
And even on myself, I'm self-aware of how I'm saying things, what I'm doing, how I'm
reacting.
But when it comes to depression, it's almost like the blinders go on for just a little
bit.
I'm starting to be more reactive in those moments when I'm seeing that I actually am
dealing with some depression, that it's starting.
I just wish there was like a, like I had a little red light, like a little, uh, what
(27:19):
is it?
Check engine light that pops out.
It's like Mitch, you're dealing with some depression.
Well, yeah, but here's, here's the thing.
If you're going through and you're always worried about everyone else and you're taking
care of everyone else and their emotions and you're coming upstairs and you just, I need
to be left alone.
Don't touch me.
That would be a moment that I would check in with myself.
What today's-
I'm in that all the time.
That's the problem.
Yeah, but it gets a little bit worse when you get depressed.
(27:40):
Yeah, it does.
So what I would suggest for you is doing those mental check-ins every night.
Is there something going on that I need to address?
Do I feel a little bit more burnt out?
Do I feel the need to get a little bit more space from everyone?
Do I feel the need to head in the shower for two hours or listening to music to be away
from everyone?
Am I feeling that burnout that would lead to a depression?
(28:04):
So I think that would be an important thing to realize and recognize.
That's what I would suggest.
Well, I appreciate that.
And I think another thing that could also be used as a, I don't know if it's so much
a coping mechanism or just something that could also help in practicing emotional awareness
is just giving gratitude to yourself and listing three things that you're grateful for that
day or whatever the situation is to kind of put some positive light back into it.
(28:26):
Because I know a lot of times when I'm in a dark spot, I have a hard time seeing the
positive in that moment.
And maybe if we just remind ourselves of the positives that are there, that could also
help a little bit too.
What would we say?
There's a few different things I guess we could go off of with that.
I mean, we're alive, we're healthy, we have a roof over our head, we got a good job or
you know, we have family that loves us.
I think there's many different positive things that we can say to ourselves to kind of help
(28:50):
us realize where we're at.
Hey, you survived 100% of your worst days.
So there's a lot of different ways to go with that, I guess.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to have this as a platform to help others.
Like I that's huge.
That's huge.
I know that I have the mental ability to change my situation to do better.
(29:10):
There's a lot of things that you can be grateful for, even small ones.
Absolutely.
I woke up today, brother.
Brother!
Hey, brother.
Tuesday.
I think another thing that's important for coping is remembering that you have a support
system.
You have somebody somewhere, whether it's family, friends, the person that you meet
(29:31):
at the supermarket, they're going to keep checking in with you or they're going to walk
by and be like, this person's not okay.
Let's go and talk to them.
And you have to lean on people.
You have to be vulnerable.
Excuse me, I can't even fucking talk, but you have to be vulnerable, which is a hard
thing for me.
But it's something that has to be done.
(29:52):
You have to be able to lean on others.
And I'm not saying go trauma dump on all your friends and your family.
That's not what I'm saying at all.
Even though we do that to each other all the time.
I mean, shit, we're doing it with you guys right now.
That's true.
That's true.
But you don't have to trauma dump to just be like, this is what's going through my head
right now.
Or this is how I'm feeling.
Or this is what I did today.
(30:15):
I know it's not much, but here it is.
It's exhausting sometimes when you're in that mode and physical presence is huge.
You don't have to check in on me.
You can just be in the same room with me.
You don't have to say a fucking word.
Just sitting there knowing that you're in my presence.
That's huge.
Hey, I love you.
I brought you coffee.
Right.
(30:36):
Coffee is my language.
How many times has people done that for me?
You guys know you have a million times.
And you know what?
I think the biggest thing is when I'm struggling with depression, just your guys are right.
I don't want to talk about it in that moment.
I don't want to sit and feel that pressure to have to explain to you why I'm feeling
that way.
Because when you ask that question, hey, are you okay?
I feel guilty to be like, nope, still not okay today.
(30:57):
Right.
But to sit down with someone and just have them come and be like, hey, you know what?
Let's just watch a movie.
Right.
Or hey, you want to go for a walk or hey, let's just do our nails or whatever.
We don't even have to talk.
Just having someone in the presence just helps.
It's so powerful because I feel like you can get out of it quicker when you're just in
that presence and doing something else to get your mind off of whatever ruminating thoughts
(31:19):
are going on in there.
Yeah, that is a good word.
That's so true.
Thank you.
Rumination is a huge thing in depression.
I learned it.
Live it, learn it, love it.
Love it.
I think another big important part of when connecting with others is also setting boundaries
and avoiding toxic and draining relationships and friendships and family ships, whatever
(31:42):
you want to call it, because that can just cause more depression.
Hey, 100% might actually worsen your symptoms that you're experiencing that moment.
Were we not just talking about this earlier?
No, we sure were.
That's why I brought it up.
But the thing is, the hardest lesson and the biggest lesson you have to learn is not everybody
(32:02):
has the same heart as you.
They're not going to see everything from the same perspective or point of view or anything
that you do.
Something that's depressing to you may not be depressing to them and they may just laugh
it off and be like, oh, well, just get the fuck over it.
Okay, well, you can see yourself out the door and fuck all the way off.
That's something that me personally, I've learned how to start saying, nope, you no
(32:26):
longer have access to me.
You can get the fuck out.
Because before I didn't, I was just like, oh, you hate me?
I love you.
I know.
I know.
It's hard, dude.
It is.
It's hard.
It's 100% hard.
But I will say another really good coping mechanism that I actually enjoy doing is finding
hobbies, finding things that you can do to get you out of it.
(32:49):
I know.
I was just going to say that we love painting.
You know why I love painting?
Because in the, in I, listen, I, and I'm just going to preface this with, I am not a good
painter.
Okay.
She really is though.
Everybody that's listening, she is.
Yeah.
If you like kindergarten artwork, it's not, it's not, I'm not, I'm not an artist by any
means.
Okay.
I just enjoy doing it because even if it looks like shit, it's the fact that when I just
(33:11):
start painting, my whole brain goes quiet.
It's it's when you find that hobby that you can do that you just enjoy, whether it be
sewing or knitting or crocheting or beadwork or whatever the fuck it is painting.
I mean, it doesn't matter drawing, whatever you enjoy.
When you find something like that, it literally just shuts your brain off in that moment because
(33:33):
sometimes that's all we need when we're depressed is just for our brain to go and just shut
the fuck up for that moment because that the brain is your worst enemy when you are depressed.
That's right.
And how many times have I told you, and even you have said it in my, my moments of depression
or my manic episodes or whatnot, when I'm in one of those episodes, as much as I love
(33:55):
music, I also love to sing.
Not very well, but I still love to sing.
You are a good singer.
No, no, no.
When I start singing again, that's when I noticed that I'm coming out of it and I'm
starting to feel somewhat okay.
And she's said it before too.
She's like, oh, you're singing again.
Okay.
(34:16):
All right.
So we're going down the good road.
We love this.
We love this.
We love this for you.
She said that to me, I don't know how many times, you know what I mean?
So that's a, that's something for me.
Cause I'm, I'm not an artist by any means.
I hate painting.
I don't draw.
I can do Sudoku.
I love Sudoku.
I used to love that shit.
That can quiet down your brain.
Yeah.
(34:36):
Crossword puzzles, word searches, coloring.
I'll color all day, but it has to be something that's already drawn out.
That's fine.
With colored pencils or markers, no fucking crowns here.
Thanks.
I tried to paint like for crowns.
She does mean crowns.
She just, it's crowns.
Yeah.
Like you put them on top of your head.
Yep.
You are royal with it.
(34:57):
I say crayon.
It's a crayon.
It's a crayon.
It's a crayon.
Crayon, crayon, crown.
Okay.
Both of you can fuck all the way off.
It's your pop.
It's your pop.
Your pop.
Your pop.
Sorta pop.
Sorta.
Anyways, I just feel like we're completely getting off track here.
Yes we are.
So let's do this.
Here is another thing that would be important.
And I guess in a sense it would be a coping mechanism, but ones to avoid.
(35:19):
And that is harmful ones.
One of the biggest ones I see a lot of people do that deal with depression is alcohol and
drugs.
Like in the moment we think that they're a temporary relief, but they're actually going
to just worsen the depression over time and cause addictions in the future.
So I think that that would be a big one for me is I mean, just I guess because it runs
in my family and I see it around me a lot is alcohol abuse and drug abuse.
(35:43):
Yep.
So it's sad to see people who I've been close to very, very close to go down that road with
addiction with drugs and alcohol and thinking that it was numbing all of the things that
they were feeling and suppressing them when they would get off of the drugs or come off
of the high I meant from the drugs and the hangover that next day and feel like complete
(36:09):
fucking shit.
And it's sad because it's really they're fighting to try to get out of it.
And I've I've physically seen this and tried to console people who are going through this
of going through that drug addiction and that alcohol addiction fiercely and just crying
and going through all these different episodes because they were depressed and they just
(36:32):
want to numb those feelings.
So if you are someone dealing with addiction and depression at the same time, we will give
you the tools and resources at the end of this episode for you to reach out because
it is not a that is not something that someone needs to go through at all.
It's terrible to fucking watch.
Anyways, real quickly, because I know you do want to bring up some check in ideas for
(36:55):
your mental health.
There is one other thing I do want to go over and I think is so important, I think always
kind of looked over and that is creating a routine for yourself.
I know for me just starting my day with one intentional act like making my bed in the
morning, going and brushing my teeth or doing something that kind of like starts the day
can also be very helpful as well.
(37:16):
Minus taking my vitamins and drinking my green tea.
That's my one intentional act to make myself good before I leave for work.
That makes sense.
That definitely makes sense.
All right.
So what are some mental health check ins that we can do?
Okay.
So we have a couple of different ideas.
We have a body scan exercise.
(37:36):
So this is an exercise that you can do throughout the day, like take a minute or two.
It doesn't have to be something huge.
So you're going to go and go, how are my shoulders positioned?
Am I, you know, are my shoulders up to my ears or am I relaxed?
Is my jaw clenched or is it relaxed?
Starting there is very huge for that.
So I've noticed that I get very tense at work through a lot of situations and I can do that
(38:01):
and I just relax my shoulders.
I drop my shoulders.
I unclench my jaw and then I go, okay, how else is my, how is my god.
I don't know what just happened.
You totally like got the tis on there.
I did.
I 100% did.
I, sorry about that.
Anyway, so I also make sure that I'm paying attention to my breathing.
(38:24):
How's my breathing?
Is it fast?
Is it slow?
Do I need to take deep breaths?
And usually in that moment, the answer is yes.
So I've learned how to do circular breathing or square breathing.
So you go, I know she's looking at me with eyebrows.
I'm going to teach you into a square breathe.
Watch.
(38:44):
Okay.
So you're going to, you're going to point to the square.
You're going to picture a square and you're going to start at the bottom left-hand corner.
You're going to for four.
And as you're breathing, you're going to the top left-hand corner of that square.
And then you're going to exhale for four and then you're going to make it to the other
side of that square.
(39:05):
And you're going to breathe in for four until you make it to the top right of that square.
And then you're going to breathe out for four and make it to the bottom.
So literally it's a square breath.
And that kind of brings you back into that present moment.
So I can get down with it, right?
No, really in times when you're anxious or you're just trying to fucking check in with
yourself and where you're at right now, it brings you back to like, here I am.
(39:27):
And also what I do as a little side to my patients, because where I work, my patients
come in very anxious and rightfully so for what I do.
So when they're in there and I see that there are some patients go into full-blown panic
attacks and I have learned through Christine, my therapist, the five, four, three, two,
(39:47):
one method.
Yes.
That is very important to do.
So if anyone doesn't know what the five, four, three, two, one method, five things that you
see, four things that you hear, three things that you can touch, two things that you can
smell and one thing that you can taste.
So it brings, that's also a very grounding experience.
That's what it is.
It's grounding to bring you back into that moment.
(40:07):
So also doing that as a body exercise is super important as well.
So another side little one that you can do.
This one's kind of cheesy, but I like cheesy, like Swiss cheese or lactose intolerant.
I still eat cheese.
I don't give a fuck.
I know she'd be farting too.
She made me gassy.
(40:27):
Girl bye.
But I love cheese.
That stink wriggle stinking.
Ew, that's a little too, I almost said what I'm not allowed to say on the show.
Okay.
Bitch.
Yup.
Bitch.
Anyways, we're missing the point guys.
Sorry.
Missing the point.
Okay.
So emotional weather reports.
(40:48):
So you can use a metaphor.
If your mood were the weather right now, what would it be?
A meteorologist.
Um, overcast.
I'm definitely a side of rainbow skittles.
I don't know.
Um, I would eat those with you.
I don't know.
I just fucking can't.
(41:10):
Okay.
Anyways, the look I got.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
So the emotional weather report is what now?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Oh, all right.
I'm gonna get back to serious.
Okay.
Fine.
So what is my weather?
What is your emotion?
Chilly with a side of meatballs.
Um, it's a movie anyways.
I know it is.
It's cloud.
It's cloudy.
It's chilly outside.
So I'm going with chilly.
(41:31):
Um, it's cloudy.
Um, I'm cool.
That's what I am.
I'm just kidding.
Um, I really don't know.
You are.
I don't know.
I meant cloudy skies sometimes, I guess.
I don't right now though, like in this moment.
Right now.
Oh, it's blue skies and chilly out.
I love that.
Oh, that's a good day.
That is a good day.
Yeah.
It's a sweat of weather day.
Sweat of weather.
(41:53):
I think mine would be, it would be, um, I would be probably a good 65 degrees with blue skies,
but I would have some like wispy clouds, but not the clouds that cover the sky, but the
clouds that are like, like you can see through them, blue skies.
Real quickly.
Hold on real quickly before we get to mine, cause I have to point this out.
(42:14):
Has anybody ever seen, um, what's that Sandra Bullock movie where she's like the miscongeniality
where she goes, name the perfect date.
And the girl goes April 24th.
Yeah.
Cause it's not too hot and not too cold.
That's just right.
All right.
Goldilocks.
I got it.
65 with some wispy clouds, a little wind about four degrees to the left.
(42:40):
You are detailed like a motherfucker.
I appreciate it though.
I appreciate your details.
Yes, because I literally, I'm just pointing out so people know exactly what my weather
is.
My leaves would be red, orange and yellow.
I was actually going to say falling gently from the sky.
No.
There's smells of apples and cinnamon in the air.
(43:02):
That would be fantastic.
Like an antique shop with potpourri.
Oh, minus the mothballs.
Yeah.
Take out the mothballs.
I can't do antique shops.
Um, no.
My favorite winter tree is the bald trees.
Like you know, the birch trees up North.
Have you ever seen birch trees?
Bald?
Hold on.
Yeah.
(43:22):
How would you call trees with no leaves?
I remember just to go bald from now on.
What would you call it before that?
A bear tree.
I like bald though.
I think it's very fitting.
Okay.
A bald tree.
He's tatted.
Six foot seven.
For the dad bod.
Oh, like bald.
That's good.
(43:42):
That's good.
No, like a bald tree.
And you keep saying it.
She's hoping if she just keeps saying it, it'll become more widely accepted.
I'm like, I'm not going to do that.
I'm just going to say it.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
But it'll become more widely accepted.
I like a bald birch tree.
No.
I do like a bald birch tree.
I like a bald oak.
When we start making merch, I'm going to have hashtag bald trees.
(44:05):
It's going to be bald birch.
We're going to put these in notes right now.
And then something about Skittles.
Yeah.
I would eat that with you.
I'm going to have a shirt that says Sleven Eleven.
Sleven Eleven Big Leaf.
Oh, the weather one got us, man.
Okay, so what's yours?
I wanna hear your, what is your weather?
(44:27):
What is your weather?
Right now, today's forecast is,
normally it's overcast, but like I have,
you know where it like sprinkles in the sunlight
and you see the beams come down and you're like,
oh, Cubs masterpiece, and it's beautiful.
Yeah, yeah.
That's me, okay?
Like I see like, I have like the overcast
(44:48):
and then I get like the little holes in there
where I'm like, oh, let's be laughing and happy,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, because I, as much as I don't look like I love to laugh
cause I know I have RBF like a motherfucker.
Terrible.
The worst RBF you'd ever, it's like legit,
it's uncomfortable.
I love to fucking laugh, okay?
Like I love to laugh to the point
where I'm about to pee myself, okay?
And with you guys, I don't know if you guys
(45:08):
have noticed on this episode or not,
but I cope with my depression by laughter
and dark humor and other things like that, so.
I'll be the one to pee for you.
Thank you, thank you, shit, she took it from me.
I was totally gonna call her ass out.
She just stole it.
We have to put those.
She M&M'd me.
She told the fucking dirt before I got a chance
(45:29):
to call her out on it.
Clean it out of my closet, baby.
I was just about to be like, when you were like,
I like to almost pee my pants, I was like,
or spoiler alert, she pisses her pants
during the episodes, this one over here.
We have to get you a chuck and just leave it down there.
I know, I know.
I was just gonna get her one of those little she-wees
and like a little two liter bottle.
She-wees, she-wees, stop.
We're gonna get her a pure wick.
(45:50):
We'll just do that and just like hook it up to a suction.
I love a good old cooter canoe.
Dish canoes, if you will.
Dish canoes, I've had a couple of those in there.
Hey, oh.
Those are so bad for your pH.
I know.
All right, we're off subject.
Yes, okay, anyways, we're back on, back on.
Back on.
So what, so we did the weather.
What's some other ones you got for us?
I love her ray of sunshine.
I just wanna point that out.
(46:12):
We can journal.
Journal's very important.
I hate writing.
Okay, fair.
I'm not downing that for anybody else that does it.
Okay.
I just hate writing.
Okay, that's fair.
Is it you don't like the actual physical act
of having to write something down
or you don't like having to put your feelings down on paper?
I hate having to put my feelings down.
Why?
(46:32):
I don't know, I just do.
I've always been that way, like, especially in school
and they're like, hey, let's write an essay on this subject.
I don't wanna fucking write an essay.
I don't wanna fucking do any of that shit.
Why do you care about my opinion?
Have you, so have you ever just had a curiosity?
Cause I used to hate writing too.
Like the actual physical act of having to sit and write.
But I will say something that does help is I start
(46:52):
when I started like journaling for a little bit,
I would literally put like all the messiest, shittiest,
like thoughts and comments and feelings
about myself on paper.
And then afterwards I would take them and burn them.
I like burning things.
Yeah.
And it was, I was told to actually.
I saw like Sid from fucking Toy Story.
You should see her toys.
But anyways.
(47:13):
Not those toys, boys and girls.
No, no.
But no, like for real, like I was told by a therapist
one of the times to literally take and write down
my feelings and thoughts, right?
Like your deepest, darkest feelings,
things that you don't even talk about to anybody else.
And you take them and you put them inside
like a fire safe style thing, like a fire pit per se.
(47:33):
Don't just throw them on the floor.
Yeah, yeah.
And you go ahead and you light them on fire.
And as they're burning, you're letting them go.
Also similar is when people write things on plates.
A lot of people do it at New Year's.
Some people do it at the end of relationships.
And you get a little Greek in you, okay?
And you write it all down and you smash the plates
and anywhere, I mean, don't do it inside your house
(47:54):
because then you gotta clean all that shit up.
But like go somewhere and just smash the plates
and it helps with aggression.
It helps with getting those feelings of anger out.
Whatever you're feeling at that moment.
And then you're destroying the words
that you think about yourself.
I love that.
Like a rage room.
Fuck, yes.
Yes, I like that reaction much better.
Just to give everybody else out there.
(48:15):
We had to literally cut and redo that scene
because she literally screamed in the microphone.
She's like, yes, I love that.
I do love that idea.
When Valerie gets intense about something,
like she's for it.
It's pretty loud.
Yeah, it was.
It was perfect though, I liked it.
I wish it didn't peak her microphones out
so I could have just kept it.
Yeah, well, sorry guys.
Anyway, you get the fuck yeah.
(48:36):
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Oh yeah.
That would be actually really good therapy,
I think for all of us
because I think we could use a little rage room.
Like just give me a baseball bat
and some fucking TVs and old VCRs and shit.
Let's go.
Dude.
Let's fucking go.
I was just gonna say that.
We just showed her age.
I mean, I just showed my age at least.
I don't give a fuck.
So on a less aggressive note,
(48:58):
sometimes with my meditation,
I do a guided imagery,
which I learned back in 2015 on a,
I was watching YouTube about meditation.
And in that meditation video,
he was telling you to create a space
that feels safe for you to release your emotions.
So he was kind of walking you through.
He didn't tell you what to create.
(49:20):
So in my mind, I created a dark brick castle.
Okay.
And it's always at night and it's on like a waterline.
So whether it's ocean, I don't really,
I don't know, ocean or a big river,
whatever the fuck it is.
But anyway, so it's really tall, it's circular,
and it's dark brick and it's got this wide stairwell
(49:43):
that kind of goes in a spiral motion
all the way up to the top.
And it's a flat top.
So when I get to that top of there,
I'm already starting to think about things that bothered me,
things that I'm pissed off about, things that I'm sad about.
I take, can I ask a question real quick?
So when you are meditating,
are you like, when you start your meditation,
(50:03):
are you starting from the bottom of the castle
and walking up and as you're walking up,
you're thinking about these things?
Okay, that's all I wanna know.
And then it's a pretty long, in my imagery,
it's a pretty long thing.
So it's probably about a couple of minutes.
It takes me to get to the top.
And so when I get there, I think about,
okay, I'm sad because I feel like I let someone down today.
(50:26):
I take that feeling, I put it into these lanterns,
and then I light the lantern
and I watch it go over the water.
And anytime I have a flooding thought,
which is super important too,
anytime I have a flooding thought,
immediately I imagine that lantern.
I'm like, nope, send it back.
So it's basically almost in a sense,
the same way as when you're journaling
and you're burning it and letting it go,
(50:47):
you're doing the same thing.
It's just meditation.
Yep, I got that.
That makes sense.
So that helps.
Instead of actually physically doing it,
I literally go there in my mind.
So that actually, that really helps me.
That's awesome though.
I actually really liked that.
I think that's good.
Now, of course, those are the things that work for me,
work for Jessica and work for Liz.
But if you have any tips, tricks, tools,
(51:08):
anything that we didn't speak about
that could help us or other people,
your co-listeners, your co-friends,
please send them our way.
Cause I really think that that's very important
that we all share as a community.
Absolutely.
Cause that will help everybody.
Yeah.
And in order to send those in,
you can write us at our email, unhingedmemoirs.gmail.com.
(51:29):
We are on all major social media platforms,
TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, even the Snapchat.
Even the Snapchat.
The Snap-a-chat.
And also, if you want to listen to more of these episodes,
please remember to like, subscribe,
smash that share button on all major podcast platforms.
If you don't know where those are by now,
Apple, podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Pandora,
(51:53):
and all of the others, if you find them,
we're there, unhingedmemoirs.
But for now, we'd like to go ahead
and just share the National Suicide Prevention Line.
Please use this line.
Please call in.
I know that it sounds stupid,
but everybody needs somebody.
That number is 1-800-273-8255.
(52:16):
Again, that's 1-800-273-8255.
And that is for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
And I know that I kind of touched on substance abuse
and addiction, so I think that it's very important
for those people to get help as well.
This is for the Substance Abuse
and Mental Health Administration Helpline.
That number is 1-800-662-4357.
(52:38):
And I also know that as well,
I know that we've given both of the numbers.
There is another way to do it too as well
if you know someone that is struggling,
or if you yourself are struggling,
you can actually call from your cell phone or text 988,
or you can even get on the website
and chat at 988lifeline.org.
It is 100% confidential.
It's a free crisis service that is available for everyone
(52:59):
24 hours a day, seven days a week.
And the texting portion is good
because if you don't feel like talking verbally.
So important.
It's sometimes better to text.
Absolutely.
So just a big thing that we do want you to remember
is it's temporary.
Depression, it comes and goes in waves,
and you have to learn to try and cope with those.
(53:19):
As hard as it can be, you have to,
and maybe come up with a little mantra
of this too shall pass.
Yeah, and you also have to remember
that you have already survived 100% of your worst days,
and you can keep going.
And we love you.
And we see you, we understand you, we validate you.
You are heard through us.
Please take care of yourselves.
If you need to reach out, please reach out
(53:40):
and utilize all the different outlets
that we also gave you if need be.
We love you.
And until next time, we hope you have a wonderful day.
Don't forget to be proud of yourself.
Don't forget to be grateful for everything that you have
and for the opportunity that you have
to wake up in the mornings.
Thank you for listening.
We love you.
(54:01):
And until next time, bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
you
I just want you to know that I'm sorry.
(00:02):
What's up everyone?
Welcome back to our eighth episode of Unhinged Memoirs.
(00:23):
Today we're tackling a topic that's heavy, but also incredibly important.
And since January is Mental Wellness Month, we're going to be talking about depression.
Today's episode is all about finding your way to fight back.
We are calling this one Unbreakable, Beating Depression on Your Terms.
Because no one's journey is the same.
What works for one person may not work for the other.
And that's okay.
(00:44):
I'm Jess.
I'm Liz.
And I'm Val.
So let's first start out and say how important it is to even recognize the signs and symptoms
of depression.
100%.
So we're going to just dive right into it.
Am I stopping or do we keep going?
(01:04):
It wouldn't be our podcast if we didn't laugh.
So just bear with it.
I know this is a very, it's a heavy issue.
Okay.
Okay.
Listen, I just want to preface this with all for all of our listeners listening.
I suffer with bad anxiety and depression and we are all fucked up right now in this episode
(01:28):
because it took me 30 minutes just to record the intro, which still sounds like shit.
So I do apologize.
So bum is to get it out there.
Okay.
So even though this is a very important topic, we still do have our moments where we're dealing
with our own shit.
So we just have to laugh about it.
Yeah.
Laughing is a type of medicine.
If you don't laugh, you'll cry.
Like we said that in the sneak peek.
(01:48):
So this is what you're getting.
We are unhinged and fucked up.
We're not into the shit show.
Percent.
All right.
Let's get serious for a second.
My bad.
All right.
So number one, a depressed mood.
Most of the day, nearly every day you're feeling sad, you're empty and you're hopeless.
Now in children and adolescents, it does kind of look like they can have an irritable mood.
(02:09):
So that's something to watch out for as well.
Number two is a markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all or most of activities.
Most of the day, nearly every day.
Number three, significant weight loss, whether you're not dieting, weight gain or decrease
or increase in appetite nearly every day.
In children, it does consider depression if there's failure to make expected weight gains.
(02:35):
Number four is insomnia and hypersomnia.
So hypersomnia would be you're sleeping too much, obviously insomnia, not enough.
Number five, you have psychomotor agitation.
So nearly every day you're appearing either restless or you're slowed down.
Number six, fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
(02:55):
Number seven, feelings of worthlessness or excessive slash inappropriate guilt nearly
every day.
Number eight, diminished ability to think or concentrate or indecisiveness nearly every
day.
And number nine, recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal ideation without a specific plan
or suicide attempt or specific plan for committing suicide.
(03:16):
Now obviously trigger warning.
This is a part of the episode that we're going to have to make aware of people's triggers.
So we'll go more into that and how to help people.
So I think these are very, very straightforward signs and symptoms of depression.
I agree with that.
But I do want to say one thing coming from someone that does deal with depression.
(03:39):
I think those are great signs and symptoms for people looking on the outside at someone
with it for sure.
But how do we be more self aware of our own?
And I think that's for at least my part of the issue because there's times where I am
going into my depression slope and I don't realize I'm going into that depression because
(04:00):
I don't feel any different in that moment in the beginning of it.
And it takes a lot of self awareness to me go, oh, wait a minute, am I dealing with depression?
Because it's little things that just start to happen.
Like I start getting where I'm struggling wanting to go and shower every single day.
And I'm noticing I'm not taking care of myself properly or I'm not wanting to do many things.
But that's also sometimes just burnout for me as well.
(04:22):
So it's hard sometimes.
Burnout is a trigger for depression though.
Absolutely.
And I wholeheartedly can see that, especially when you deal with it.
But in the same aspect, not always do I correlate that that's what's going on.
Right.
Now I do want to point out that these are the clinical symptoms.
This is how you get diagnosed with.
(04:42):
So if you're going in and you're getting diagnosed, they're like, okay, well, are you feeling
hopeless?
Are you feeling restless?
Are you feeling agitated?
Are you feeling irritable?
Just not like yourself.
You're not enjoying anything anymore that you used to.
So these are clinical symptoms.
Now along with that is a broader view of what you're explaining.
So you can't put in, do you get up and not feel like you want to shower?
(05:04):
That is a part of depression.
Oh, absolutely.
So they're not going to put that in there.
So I just do want to preface that.
So if anyone's confused, these are the clinical symptoms that you get diagnosed with depression.
Okay.
That makes sense.
I'd also like to preface this by saying like depression is not textbook.
Like everybody goes through depression in different ways.
It's not always black and white.
(05:26):
Like there are so many gray areas in it.
It's not even funny for me personally.
I notice it when I start to recluse from everybody, when I start pulling back and I'm not as talkative
or I'm not laughing at things certain ways or if I just want to be off by myself, put
my headphones in and just call it a day.
I might peace out.
(05:47):
That's when I know and I go, I'll sit there and go, wait a second.
Where is everybody?
Oh yeah.
And it's my doing.
You know what I mean?
That's not anything anybody else is doing.
It's my doing a hundred percent.
And I notice I get funky.
You know, I just, I'm in a funk and that's what I call it.
I've said it to you guys.
I don't know how many times I'm, I'm just in a funk right now.
(06:07):
Yeah.
And I get that cause I do the same thing.
I think for me, I'm not so like where I've tried to recluse the extent that you do, but
I do recluse and it's normally from anybody that's not directly in front of me.
Correct.
That's mine.
I know for a fact, I do that where people will start calling and I'm like, yeah, I
don't want to answer the phone.
I don't want to talk to people.
I don't want to do anything.
I just want to fucking lay in bed.
(06:28):
I don't know how many months straight forward did I have my phone on?
Do not disturb.
Yeah.
Correct.
Absolutely.
And then I'm like, is Valery okay?
No, what's going on with her?
I really genuinely in that moment thought that I was okay until I got out of it until
I got out of the depression and going, Oh shit, I was depressed.
Yeah.
Sometimes it takes you having like a quote unquote out of body experience and looking
(06:53):
from the outside in going, well fuck, or even sometimes just once you get out of a certain
situation and looking back at something as well and going, wow, I don't didn't realize
I was depressed, but depressed, depressed.
But now realizing it looking now going, I am fresh to very precious, but you know,
(07:13):
this is also, okay.
We'll talk about this part in a minute, but the coping comedy is my coping.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's not like watching comedy shows.
It's like me having to be comical.
That's like self deprecation.
Like talking so much shit about ourselves.
(07:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how you do it.
Self-defecation.
And I was like, I mean, if that's your thing, it's not really mine.
Two girls, one cup type situation.
I'm out.
All right.
So it just as much as there is signs of what depression looks like, what are, would anybody
have anything to add that would be signs of people like misinterpret as what depression
(07:58):
could be?
Um, actually I was cause listen, I look for this shit all fucking day and I, and I'm like,
how would somebody know that cares about me?
Like, no, that I'm not myself if they're not around me and they're not seeing me in everyday
life.
My family would be that huge part.
(08:18):
You know what I mean?
And um, my mom actually texted me the other day and she's like, you know, we haven't really
heard from you since Thanksgiving.
Like, what's going on with you?
Are you okay?
And I was like, oh, you know, just going through the, going through the motions, mom.
I don't know what you want me to tell you.
She's like, yeah, but you usually check in at least once a week.
(08:40):
And you haven't been, and I haven't been, and I had to go sit there and go, huh.
Hmm.
Well, there's that.
You don't, you don't recognize your own things sometimes unless somebody else is pointing
it out to you for you to go.
Oh yeah.
Light bulb.
I feel like that can lead us into what some of the common myths and misconceptions are
(09:02):
with having depression or what signs of depression are like, oh, depression is just sadness.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
It's rage.
It's it's irritability.
Irritability.
It is, there is sadness incorporated in there.
It's anxiety.
I mean, there's so many factors in depression.
Heavy on the anxiety.
(09:23):
Heavy on the anxiety.
And there's other people like a lot of the baby boomers and you know, I, sorry if anybody's
listening, oh, you can just snap out of it.
It's not how that works.
That takes work.
It takes a lot of work.
And there are, there are people that snap in and out of depression and I commend them.
I wish that I could have a quarter of the strength.
(09:45):
But I also, as someone who can snap out of depression, a lot of my depression is situational.
I don't have clinically diagnosed depression.
I have clinically diagnosed anxiety, which sometimes can put me into a depression from
overthinking with my anxiety.
Okay.
But mine's mainly situational.
(10:07):
So I can snap out of it, as people say.
However, also, well, buterin, we love you.
Okay.
That also fucking helps.
So it's not as easy for people who have diagnosed depression.
Sorry.
I see I'm clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
Now I will say though, there are times that I'm having situational depression or seasonal
(10:30):
depression, and I can sometimes snap out of those ones.
But if I'm just having my good old, old fashioned depression, no, there's nothing that pulls
me out of it.
And unless like that I can just do to just snap out of it.
I shouldn't say there's nothing I can do, but outside of taking the steps to work towards
it, those ones, that's not just an easy one, two, three fixed, I think.
Well, and then like back on your well buterin, because Lexapro, you're garbage and we like
(10:55):
well buterin better.
Anorexins or cop outs, I'd like to say fuck off, because they help me when I actually
take them.
Yeah, we'll just say that it's crazy.
Because I don't like to take them because I'm not a pill taker.
But you know, here we are.
However, let's talk about that for a second.
Oh, let's talk about that for a second.
(11:18):
Exact opposite, I don't take anything for either of them.
I know you don't.
And I don't feel like it's a cop out for people.
I don't think it's a cop out.
I think it's there to help aid, right to get you to where you need to be.
And if you want to get off of it, right, it helps you get to that point.
Sure.
That I understand, because I feel going one extreme to the other is tough.
(11:38):
Right.
And please understand, because I'm no doctor for any of this.
And I'm not trying to say don't take medication or do take medication.
All I'm saying for me personally, especially now, certain depression, I 100% believe needs
medication.
Right.
But depending on the situation, a lot of times I feel like medicine can also just be a band
aid for people not to deal with the issues at hand.
(12:00):
Correct.
And I feel like in junction to taking medication, if you're going to take medication, that you
also need to be following it up with therapy or coping that mechanisms or anything else.
Because the day you run out of medication, and that's out of your system, or you don't
get another dose or whatever the situation is, you end up 10 times worse off than beforehand.
(12:22):
So I'm a firm believer in therapy and coping mechanisms and finding ways to deal with it.
Because that medication as though it's great, a band aid is only there as such.
So let me expand on that.
Okay.
To further your point.
Okay.
When I first started taking well, buterin, I saw no way out.
I was super obviously my phone was on do not disturb.
(12:43):
I was isolating myself from you guys and everyone else around me.
I wouldn't talk to anyone at work.
I wouldn't go out anywhere.
I was not doing a damn thing for myself.
I started getting on well buterin.
I started noticing, okay, well, I'm, I'm more engaging.
I'm talking to people more.
I'm answering my phone.
My phone hasn't been on do not disturb.
Okay.
(13:03):
So I feel like my brain has slowed down enough that I'm starting to work towards bettering
myself and not just using the medication.
I'm doing better for my body.
I'm taking more vitamins and supplements.
I'm reading self help books to try to acknowledge where my issues are coming from to kind of
help myself instead of going to therapy right now.
(13:26):
Because I do have a therapist.
We love her.
We love you, Christine.
Um, you know, but I feel like I'm trying to take the steps in addition to that medication
because eventually I want to be off of it.
So while yes, I do believe in what you're saying and I can absolutely understand your
point of saying that it's a bandaid.
Sometimes that bandaid helps heal the skin underneath so I can, I can get forward.
(13:48):
You know what I mean?
And a hundred percent.
I do agree with that.
I'm not.
And again, that's why I said starting off of like, kind of like giving that warning
of like, I'm not a doctor.
I'm not saying don't take medication.
I'm not saying do take it.
I'm just saying you do what works best for you in that aspect.
But if you feel you need it, then a hundred percent, if that helps you heal, then I'm
a hundred percent of supporter of it.
So that was the point that I was making.
(14:09):
That's all.
Well, and like, there's also the point that, and I've heard it my entire life because I've
been a big girl my entire fucking life.
And I've had depression pretty much my entire life, but you hear, um, Oh, if you just, you
need to exercise and you need to eat better.
That's great for you, Tom.
Okay.
(14:30):
Let's just talk about, um, it's not something that can be cured by, you know, Kailin pushups.
I like that.
I, I just like, yeah, endorphins are released when you exercise and you, you do certain
things and you have better mind wellness and everything else.
Like I don't even know what to fucking say right now.
(14:51):
Cause I'm like, I get so irritated when people try to bring that into the whole effect.
Well, yes, going for a walk clears my head and then it allows me to think better and
have better thoughts coming in and it releases like, like I said, the endorphins that make
everything just go, it's still gonna, I'm still going to be depressed at the end of
the fucking day.
(15:11):
Do I know also why it's because when you're like just moving your body like that, you're
bringing consciousness into that moment.
Right.
Absolutely.
And I could see that, but when people base it off of, Oh, just go to the gym and you
know, let's go over there for five fucking hours a day and then eat your kale and your
fucking pita and your hummus, wrap it all up and just shove it down your throat and
that'll just make you happy.
(15:32):
No, the fuck it doesn't.
No, the fuck it doesn't.
You go over there and do your fucking bendy Barbie shit by yourself.
This is no offense to anybody that looks like Barbie or does, but I do want to, I do want
to like backtrack just for a second and go off the fact that again, as we stated in the
beginning of this is that it's not all one track for every single person that might work
(15:55):
for one.
It just doesn't work for all.
Right.
Absolutely.
And I stand by what the fuck I said.
Tento down on bendy.
Oh God.
We can segue into that by saying like, if someone seems happy, they can't be depressed.
I still laugh at fucking everything.
(16:17):
I mean, there are times where I'm like, not today.
I don't know if you've ever, and I know we all have seen them actually, the videos that
you can see on Facebook, I'm like even like Robin Williams and Chester Bennington and
in all, is it Bennington?
Bennington.
Yeah, Bennington.
And there's other ones that are out there.
Even I've seen the videos where people like this is my husband two days before he committed
suicide or this is my daughter, the night she committed suicide or whatever the situation
(16:42):
is and people are laughing and smiling.
I hate that misconception of people thinking, oh, well just because you're laughing and
smiling that you don't know what someone's dealing with on the inside.
I have no fucking idea.
No idea.
None whatsoever.
And who the fuck are you to pass judgment on anybody for how they deal with or cope
with their life and their feelings and their everything?
Absolutely.
Because I feel like they're also hanging on so hard.
(17:04):
That's why they do smile because they're hanging on to every good moment.
They're really cherishing every single good moment that they have because it's mostly
bad for them.
And I feel like that also segues into what you were talking about there is also goes
into people think that people don't have depression that joke about depression.
Right.
And I know for a fact all three of us have joked about depression at least 10 times a
(17:27):
day.
Yeah.
I'm going to throw myself down the stairs.
Oh, just kidding.
Not going to really do it guys.
But almost if I do, you know what I mean?
Or whoops, what if I just took it right in the jugular real quick?
It would be fine.
It'd be fine.
I think that's a little morbid and dark joking.
I mean, I mean, I work with someone honest.
(17:47):
I work with someone who's like that.
Yeah.
And I just, I have to walk away because I'm like, you need, you need help.
Like I've tried to talk to this kid.
But every time he comes in, I'm like, how are you?
He's like, well, I didn't throw myself in traffic today.
Like as we all go, right.
I know.
No, but it's like, it's dark humor like that constantly at work and it's hard to listen
(18:11):
to.
Well, also let's preface this by saying that we work in the medical field and 99.9% of
people that work in the medical field, a have depression and then B have dark humor to cope
with said depression and all the shit they see on a daily basis.
It's true.
It's part of burnout too.
It's 100% burnout.
Okay.
We'll sprinkle that in there like salt, but I know, I know anybody doesn't work in the
(18:32):
medical field.
I think the one thing that people don't realize is even if it's not so much labor intensive
all the time, it is mentally draining to such a high extent, high extent.
I hated that shit.
Yes.
I, I look back five years ago, you know, before I became even a nurse and I'm like, who was
(18:54):
she?
Cause I miss her.
You know, I was so bubbly.
I mean, I'm still bubbly, but I'm like, I, I was not this.
You're tainted.
I'm very tainted and it's sad because I lost a lot of my spark working in healthcare because
that shit.
Fuck it sucks.
Yeah.
But also you like helping people.
I love helping people.
I just don't like the toxic around it.
(19:15):
Oh yeah.
It's it's, there's a lot there, but that's another subject for another day.
Yes.
I love my patients.
So anyone who wants to sit here and talk, I should be out of nursing.
No.
Cause I, if anyone who knows me, I am the biggest patient advocate.
So don't even go there.
Don't even fucking try moving on.
Why don't we talk about some coping mechanisms or things that have worked for us.
(19:37):
Absolutely.
So I would say the number one for me has always been focusing on basic self care nutrition.
And I mean that not in like the way.
Go fuck your kale chips.
Okay.
No, but I just mean when I eat like shit, I feel like shit.
And I noticed when I'm depressed, I go on the benders of like ice cream and pop and
(19:58):
fucking chocolate and whatever the fuck else.
It's not pop.
It's, it's soda.
No, no, no, it's pop.
Y'all can fuck off.
All right.
Okay.
Anybody here from Chicago will tell you it's pop.
All right.
Anyone who's not from Chicago says the right thing is soda.
Either way.
Okay.
But when I start, like I noticed like when I'm, I'm good, I'm eating a little bit healthier,
(20:20):
making healthier choices.
Not so much like, Oh, I got to eat kale and fucking cottage cheese 24 seven, but I still
make healthier choices.
I also sleep better and working on sleeping as well.
I think that's a big one.
That's a huge one for you.
Especially for me because I do go from where I sleep too much or sleep.
Not at all.
I sleep for two, three days and then get back into the swing of like, I'm only sleeping
(20:43):
for two hours every two, three days.
And that's, that's the hard part.
And another one is I think hydration.
I have a really hard time with that.
When I am depressed, I don't touch a glass of water.
It's like, I feel like a camel.
How many times have I asked you, wait, how much water have you drank today?
And she'll just kind of look at me and look down at the ground and turn around and walk
away.
And then she'd be like, when's the last time you had water?
(21:06):
And I'll be like, um, three Sundays ago, um, from last year.
I'm bad about it.
I'm fucking bad about it.
Getting up and showering, washing your hair, fucking putting some makeup on, doing whatever.
Even when I don't feel like it, sometimes I have to force myself to go make myself feel
human.
Listen, you know, when I'm going through it, my hair's not done at all.
(21:28):
You know, when I'm going through it, when you look at my legs and it looks like Sasquatch
just shit all over my legs.
Okay.
I think we talked about that on the first episode.
Yeah, that is number one sign that I've been dealing with depression is when I don't shave.
Because my armpits will look like I just joined the feminist movement and it's, it's full
blown.
I'm off in Lovefield.
Not this.
(21:50):
We're not on TV.
So I was actually making the movement of just saying like I was going forward into the feminist
movement.
Not, not this, not that, but anyways.
Um, and what's another one?
I mean, realistically we can get off of my, let's go.
Be moving.
(22:11):
I, uh, I, I do music therapy.
Oh yeah.
I'm a fucking music.
I think both are very musicy, but you're, you're in it too.
You're huge on music.
Maybe not as much as we are, but you have like, I've listened to your fucking playlist
on Apple.
Yes.
We're all, we're all on Apple.
We all have really good playlists.
You should go follow.
I would just like to pick out that I am the biggest music junkie here because I have the
(22:34):
most minutes.
That's true.
Absolutely.
She is.
She is.
But like I notice my choice in music.
Oh yeah.
And then that will fuel whatever mood I'm trying to be in or whatever mood I'm currently
in.
You know what I mean?
And, uh, I noticed when I start listening to music more, if I walk around the house
and I have my headphones in and everybody else is around and they're talking to me and
(22:56):
I'm like, what the fuck are you saying?
Leave me alone.
They're like, got it.
Great.
All right.
Understood.
I would like to say one thing going off the music for a moment because I know I do it
and I am the worst at being self-aware of this until hand.
And that is when you are depressed and you know, you're depressed, stop listening to
fucking depressing music.
(23:17):
And I only, I know, believe you me, I have 14 depression playlists.
Oh no, I know.
I'm, I follow everyone.
And I will tell you, I will listen to the same song on repeat over and over and over
and over again because it's fueling my depression feeling.
It's like a comfort.
I almost, almost called you out right then and there, which ones it was.
Oh yeah.
I know you did, but it's comfort mixed with, with, I don't know, just like the safe place
(23:40):
to sit and be in it.
But also like in the moment, I think it's making me feel better, but it's really not
like it got to the point a few times where you would start playing the music and you
were just playing it for fun, but you would start to play the music and everybody would
stop.
All of us would just stop and turn around and look at her and go, are you okay?
And she'd go, yeah, I'm fine.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
Oh, I w I was just checking.
I was just making sure.
(24:01):
Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah.
My biggest one is Alison Shane's nutshell.
If that song comes on, it's such a big issue because everybody would be like, are you okay?
And I'm like, no, really?
It's just, it's my favorite song.
So it's fine.
Really?
So what's another coping mechanism that works?
I read.
Yes, you do.
I do.
Um, I read, well, I either listen to the books or I actually read the books.
(24:23):
So if I listen to them on Audible and I'm like, I really need that book, um, I listen
and read a lot of self-help books.
I don't like to read a lot of fiction because I'm a very practical person.
Right?
So I need things that are going to tell me this is your pattern.
Here's how you change it.
Here's how it helps.
So um, reading really helps me do that.
(24:45):
So I go a lot of introspective work when I do that and I do a lot of journaling with
that and I take a lot of notes.
Um, so doing that really helps me kind of acknowledge what I'm going through.
So you practice emotional awareness through it basically?
Very much so.
I'm very, like I am very self-aware.
I am very, very self-aware of the patterns, the thought patterns that I have.
(25:07):
I used to not be as aware, but because I've been going through a lot in the past five
years, I've learned to become very self-aware.
Would there be any advice you could give that could help someone become more self-aware?
Because I know for me, I personally struggle with being self-aware during depression only.
That's a loaded question.
(25:28):
Okay.
Because I feel when I'm starting to notice that I'm going through, okay, I know who I
am as a person when I'm not depressed.
Okay.
Okay.
Which is bubbly, outgoing, talkative.
Um, I'm more engaged at work.
I'm more engaged at home.
I like to go out and do things.
I like to go for drives.
I like to go to the beach and when I start to see myself not doing as many of those things,
(25:50):
not picking up the phone calls, that's when I go, hello, something's wrong immediately.
So in times like when you're going through your things and you're like, Hey, uh, my legs
haven't been shaved and like, you know what I mean?
Like that would be something that I would automatically do.
Now in that being said, being emotionally also aware, I go, okay, what's triggering
(26:12):
that?
And then I go, okay, well, um, I'm eating like shit.
I'm overreacting to situations.
I'm being hyper vigilant on things.
I'm over analyzing things.
I'm spacing out a lot more.
What is doing that?
Who is doing that?
(26:33):
What do I need to check in with myself?
Right.
So I do a lot of emotional check-ins, um, or I try to at least, and I think reading
those books have also helped me become aware of that and patterns.
I think that's really good advice.
I know I personally would like to work on being more self-aware when I'm heading into
my depression because I feel like I am so self-aware of everything else and everyone
(26:58):
else.
And even on myself, I'm self-aware of how I'm saying things, what I'm doing, how I'm
reacting.
But when it comes to depression, it's almost like the blinders go on for just a little
bit.
I'm starting to be more reactive in those moments when I'm seeing that I actually am
dealing with some depression, that it's starting.
I just wish there was like a, like I had a little red light, like a little, uh, what
(27:19):
is it?
Check engine light that pops out.
It's like Mitch, you're dealing with some depression.
Well, yeah, but here's, here's the thing.
If you're going through and you're always worried about everyone else and you're taking
care of everyone else and their emotions and you're coming upstairs and you just, I need
to be left alone.
Don't touch me.
That would be a moment that I would check in with myself.
What today's-
I'm in that all the time.
That's the problem.
Yeah, but it gets a little bit worse when you get depressed.
(27:40):
Yeah, it does.
So what I would suggest for you is doing those mental check-ins every night.
Is there something going on that I need to address?
Do I feel a little bit more burnt out?
Do I feel the need to get a little bit more space from everyone?
Do I feel the need to head in the shower for two hours or listening to music to be away
from everyone?
Am I feeling that burnout that would lead to a depression?
(28:04):
So I think that would be an important thing to realize and recognize.
That's what I would suggest.
Well, I appreciate that.
And I think another thing that could also be used as a, I don't know if it's so much
a coping mechanism or just something that could also help in practicing emotional awareness
is just giving gratitude to yourself and listing three things that you're grateful for that
day or whatever the situation is to kind of put some positive light back into it.
(28:26):
Because I know a lot of times when I'm in a dark spot, I have a hard time seeing the
positive in that moment.
And maybe if we just remind ourselves of the positives that are there, that could also
help a little bit too.
What would we say?
There's a few different things I guess we could go off of with that.
I mean, we're alive, we're healthy, we have a roof over our head, we got a good job or
you know, we have family that loves us.
I think there's many different positive things that we can say to ourselves to kind of help
(28:50):
us realize where we're at.
Hey, you survived 100% of your worst days.
So there's a lot of different ways to go with that, I guess.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to have this as a platform to help others.
Like I that's huge.
That's huge.
I know that I have the mental ability to change my situation to do better.
(29:10):
There's a lot of things that you can be grateful for, even small ones.
Absolutely.
I woke up today, brother.
Brother!
Hey, brother.
Tuesday.
I think another thing that's important for coping is remembering that you have a support
system.
You have somebody somewhere, whether it's family, friends, the person that you meet
(29:31):
at the supermarket, they're going to keep checking in with you or they're going to walk
by and be like, this person's not okay.
Let's go and talk to them.
And you have to lean on people.
You have to be vulnerable.
Excuse me, I can't even fucking talk, but you have to be vulnerable, which is a hard
thing for me.
But it's something that has to be done.
(29:52):
You have to be able to lean on others.
And I'm not saying go trauma dump on all your friends and your family.
That's not what I'm saying at all.
Even though we do that to each other all the time.
I mean, shit, we're doing it with you guys right now.
That's true.
That's true.
But you don't have to trauma dump to just be like, this is what's going through my head
right now.
Or this is how I'm feeling.
Or this is what I did today.
(30:15):
I know it's not much, but here it is.
It's exhausting sometimes when you're in that mode and physical presence is huge.
You don't have to check in on me.
You can just be in the same room with me.
You don't have to say a fucking word.
Just sitting there knowing that you're in my presence.
That's huge.
Hey, I love you.
I brought you coffee.
Right.
(30:36):
Coffee is my language.
How many times has people done that for me?
You guys know you have a million times.
And you know what?
I think the biggest thing is when I'm struggling with depression, just your guys are right.
I don't want to talk about it in that moment.
I don't want to sit and feel that pressure to have to explain to you why I'm feeling
that way.
Because when you ask that question, hey, are you okay?
I feel guilty to be like, nope, still not okay today.
(30:57):
Right.
But to sit down with someone and just have them come and be like, hey, you know what?
Let's just watch a movie.
Right.
Or hey, you want to go for a walk or hey, let's just do our nails or whatever.
We don't even have to talk.
Just having someone in the presence just helps.
It's so powerful because I feel like you can get out of it quicker when you're just in
that presence and doing something else to get your mind off of whatever ruminating thoughts
(31:19):
are going on in there.
Yeah, that is a good word.
That's so true.
Thank you.
Rumination is a huge thing in depression.
I learned it.
Live it, learn it, love it.
Love it.
I think another big important part of when connecting with others is also setting boundaries
and avoiding toxic and draining relationships and friendships and family ships, whatever
(31:42):
you want to call it, because that can just cause more depression.
Hey, 100% might actually worsen your symptoms that you're experiencing that moment.
Were we not just talking about this earlier?
No, we sure were.
That's why I brought it up.
But the thing is, the hardest lesson and the biggest lesson you have to learn is not everybody
(32:02):
has the same heart as you.
They're not going to see everything from the same perspective or point of view or anything
that you do.
Something that's depressing to you may not be depressing to them and they may just laugh
it off and be like, oh, well, just get the fuck over it.
Okay, well, you can see yourself out the door and fuck all the way off.
That's something that me personally, I've learned how to start saying, nope, you no
(32:26):
longer have access to me.
You can get the fuck out.
Because before I didn't, I was just like, oh, you hate me?
I love you.
I know.
I know.
It's hard, dude.
It is.
It's hard.
It's 100% hard.
But I will say another really good coping mechanism that I actually enjoy doing is finding
hobbies, finding things that you can do to get you out of it.
(32:49):
I know.
I was just going to say that we love painting.
You know why I love painting?
Because in the, in I, listen, I, and I'm just going to preface this with, I am not a good
painter.
Okay.
She really is though.
Everybody that's listening, she is.
Yeah.
If you like kindergarten artwork, it's not, it's not, I'm not, I'm not an artist by any
means.
Okay.
I just enjoy doing it because even if it looks like shit, it's the fact that when I just
(33:11):
start painting, my whole brain goes quiet.
It's it's when you find that hobby that you can do that you just enjoy, whether it be
sewing or knitting or crocheting or beadwork or whatever the fuck it is painting.
I mean, it doesn't matter drawing, whatever you enjoy.
When you find something like that, it literally just shuts your brain off in that moment because
(33:33):
sometimes that's all we need when we're depressed is just for our brain to go and just shut
the fuck up for that moment because that the brain is your worst enemy when you are depressed.
That's right.
And how many times have I told you, and even you have said it in my, my moments of depression
or my manic episodes or whatnot, when I'm in one of those episodes, as much as I love
(33:55):
music, I also love to sing.
Not very well, but I still love to sing.
You are a good singer.
No, no, no.
When I start singing again, that's when I noticed that I'm coming out of it and I'm
starting to feel somewhat okay.
And she's said it before too.
She's like, oh, you're singing again.
Okay.
(34:16):
All right.
So we're going down the good road.
We love this.
We love this.
We love this for you.
She said that to me, I don't know how many times, you know what I mean?
So that's a, that's something for me.
Cause I'm, I'm not an artist by any means.
I hate painting.
I don't draw.
I can do Sudoku.
I love Sudoku.
I used to love that shit.
That can quiet down your brain.
Yeah.
(34:36):
Crossword puzzles, word searches, coloring.
I'll color all day, but it has to be something that's already drawn out.
That's fine.
With colored pencils or markers, no fucking crowns here.
Thanks.
I tried to paint like for crowns.
She does mean crowns.
She just, it's crowns.
Yeah.
Like you put them on top of your head.
Yep.
You are royal with it.
(34:57):
I say crayon.
It's a crayon.
It's a crayon.
It's a crayon.
Crayon, crayon, crown.
Okay.
Both of you can fuck all the way off.
It's your pop.
It's your pop.
Your pop.
Your pop.
Sorta pop.
Sorta.
Anyways, I just feel like we're completely getting off track here.
Yes we are.
So let's do this.
Here is another thing that would be important.
And I guess in a sense it would be a coping mechanism, but ones to avoid.
(35:19):
And that is harmful ones.
One of the biggest ones I see a lot of people do that deal with depression is alcohol and
drugs.
Like in the moment we think that they're a temporary relief, but they're actually going
to just worsen the depression over time and cause addictions in the future.
So I think that that would be a big one for me is I mean, just I guess because it runs
in my family and I see it around me a lot is alcohol abuse and drug abuse.
(35:43):
Yep.
So it's sad to see people who I've been close to very, very close to go down that road with
addiction with drugs and alcohol and thinking that it was numbing all of the things that
they were feeling and suppressing them when they would get off of the drugs or come off
of the high I meant from the drugs and the hangover that next day and feel like complete
(36:09):
fucking shit.
And it's sad because it's really they're fighting to try to get out of it.
And I've I've physically seen this and tried to console people who are going through this
of going through that drug addiction and that alcohol addiction fiercely and just crying
and going through all these different episodes because they were depressed and they just
(36:32):
want to numb those feelings.
So if you are someone dealing with addiction and depression at the same time, we will give
you the tools and resources at the end of this episode for you to reach out because
it is not a that is not something that someone needs to go through at all.
It's terrible to fucking watch.
Anyways, real quickly, because I know you do want to bring up some check in ideas for
(36:55):
your mental health.
There is one other thing I do want to go over and I think is so important, I think always
kind of looked over and that is creating a routine for yourself.
I know for me just starting my day with one intentional act like making my bed in the
morning, going and brushing my teeth or doing something that kind of like starts the day
can also be very helpful as well.
(37:16):
Minus taking my vitamins and drinking my green tea.
That's my one intentional act to make myself good before I leave for work.
That makes sense.
That definitely makes sense.
All right.
So what are some mental health check ins that we can do?
Okay.
So we have a couple of different ideas.
We have a body scan exercise.
(37:36):
So this is an exercise that you can do throughout the day, like take a minute or two.
It doesn't have to be something huge.
So you're going to go and go, how are my shoulders positioned?
Am I, you know, are my shoulders up to my ears or am I relaxed?
Is my jaw clenched or is it relaxed?
Starting there is very huge for that.
So I've noticed that I get very tense at work through a lot of situations and I can do that
(38:01):
and I just relax my shoulders.
I drop my shoulders.
I unclench my jaw and then I go, okay, how else is my, how is my god.
I don't know what just happened.
You totally like got the tis on there.
I did.
I 100% did.
I, sorry about that.
Anyway, so I also make sure that I'm paying attention to my breathing.
(38:24):
How's my breathing?
Is it fast?
Is it slow?
Do I need to take deep breaths?
And usually in that moment, the answer is yes.
So I've learned how to do circular breathing or square breathing.
So you go, I know she's looking at me with eyebrows.
I'm going to teach you into a square breathe.
Watch.
(38:44):
Okay.
So you're going to, you're going to point to the square.
You're going to picture a square and you're going to start at the bottom left-hand corner.
You're going to for four.
And as you're breathing, you're going to the top left-hand corner of that square.
And then you're going to exhale for four and then you're going to make it to the other
side of that square.
(39:05):
And you're going to breathe in for four until you make it to the top right of that square.
And then you're going to breathe out for four and make it to the bottom.
So literally it's a square breath.
And that kind of brings you back into that present moment.
So I can get down with it, right?
No, really in times when you're anxious or you're just trying to fucking check in with
yourself and where you're at right now, it brings you back to like, here I am.
(39:27):
And also what I do as a little side to my patients, because where I work, my patients
come in very anxious and rightfully so for what I do.
So when they're in there and I see that there are some patients go into full-blown panic
attacks and I have learned through Christine, my therapist, the five, four, three, two,
(39:47):
one method.
Yes.
That is very important to do.
So if anyone doesn't know what the five, four, three, two, one method, five things that you
see, four things that you hear, three things that you can touch, two things that you can
smell and one thing that you can taste.
So it brings, that's also a very grounding experience.
That's what it is.
It's grounding to bring you back into that moment.
(40:07):
So also doing that as a body exercise is super important as well.
So another side little one that you can do.
This one's kind of cheesy, but I like cheesy, like Swiss cheese or lactose intolerant.
I still eat cheese.
I don't give a fuck.
I know she'd be farting too.
She made me gassy.
(40:27):
Girl bye.
But I love cheese.
That stink wriggle stinking.
Ew, that's a little too, I almost said what I'm not allowed to say on the show.
Okay.
Bitch.
Yup.
Bitch.
Anyways, we're missing the point guys.
Sorry.
Missing the point.
Okay.
So emotional weather reports.
(40:48):
So you can use a metaphor.
If your mood were the weather right now, what would it be?
A meteorologist.
Um, overcast.
I'm definitely a side of rainbow skittles.
I don't know.
Um, I would eat those with you.
I don't know.
I just fucking can't.
(41:10):
Okay.
Anyways, the look I got.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
So the emotional weather report is what now?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Oh, all right.
I'm gonna get back to serious.
Okay.
Fine.
So what is my weather?
What is your emotion?
Chilly with a side of meatballs.
Um, it's a movie anyways.
I know it is.
It's cloud.
It's cloudy.
It's chilly outside.
So I'm going with chilly.
(41:31):
Um, it's cloudy.
Um, I'm cool.
That's what I am.
I'm just kidding.
Um, I really don't know.
You are.
I don't know.
I meant cloudy skies sometimes, I guess.
I don't right now though, like in this moment.
Right now.
Oh, it's blue skies and chilly out.
I love that.
Oh, that's a good day.
That is a good day.
Yeah.
It's a sweat of weather day.
Sweat of weather.
(41:53):
I think mine would be, it would be, um, I would be probably a good 65 degrees with blue skies,
but I would have some like wispy clouds, but not the clouds that cover the sky, but the
clouds that are like, like you can see through them, blue skies.
Real quickly.
Hold on real quickly before we get to mine, cause I have to point this out.
(42:14):
Has anybody ever seen, um, what's that Sandra Bullock movie where she's like the miscongeniality
where she goes, name the perfect date.
And the girl goes April 24th.
Yeah.
Cause it's not too hot and not too cold.
That's just right.
All right.
Goldilocks.
I got it.
65 with some wispy clouds, a little wind about four degrees to the left.
(42:40):
You are detailed like a motherfucker.
I appreciate it though.
I appreciate your details.
Yes, because I literally, I'm just pointing out so people know exactly what my weather
is.
My leaves would be red, orange and yellow.
I was actually going to say falling gently from the sky.
No.
There's smells of apples and cinnamon in the air.
(43:02):
That would be fantastic.
Like an antique shop with potpourri.
Oh, minus the mothballs.
Yeah.
Take out the mothballs.
I can't do antique shops.
Um, no.
My favorite winter tree is the bald trees.
Like you know, the birch trees up North.
Have you ever seen birch trees?
Bald?
Hold on.
Yeah.
(43:22):
How would you call trees with no leaves?
I remember just to go bald from now on.
What would you call it before that?
A bear tree.
I like bald though.
I think it's very fitting.
Okay.
A bald tree.
He's tatted.
Six foot seven.
For the dad bod.
Oh, like bald.
That's good.
(43:42):
That's good.
No, like a bald tree.
And you keep saying it.
She's hoping if she just keeps saying it, it'll become more widely accepted.
I'm like, I'm not going to do that.
I'm just going to say it.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
But it'll become more widely accepted.
I like a bald birch tree.
No.
I do like a bald birch tree.
I like a bald oak.
When we start making merch, I'm going to have hashtag bald trees.
(44:05):
It's going to be bald birch.
We're going to put these in notes right now.
And then something about Skittles.
Yeah.
I would eat that with you.
I'm going to have a shirt that says Sleven Eleven.
Sleven Eleven Big Leaf.
Oh, the weather one got us, man.
Okay, so what's yours?
I wanna hear your, what is your weather?
(44:27):
What is your weather?
Right now, today's forecast is,
normally it's overcast, but like I have,
you know where it like sprinkles in the sunlight
and you see the beams come down and you're like,
oh, Cubs masterpiece, and it's beautiful.
Yeah, yeah.
That's me, okay?
Like I see like, I have like the overcast
(44:48):
and then I get like the little holes in there
where I'm like, oh, let's be laughing and happy,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, because I, as much as I don't look like I love to laugh
cause I know I have RBF like a motherfucker.
Terrible.
The worst RBF you'd ever, it's like legit,
it's uncomfortable.
I love to fucking laugh, okay?
Like I love to laugh to the point
where I'm about to pee myself, okay?
And with you guys, I don't know if you guys
(45:08):
have noticed on this episode or not,
but I cope with my depression by laughter
and dark humor and other things like that, so.
I'll be the one to pee for you.
Thank you, thank you, shit, she took it from me.
I was totally gonna call her ass out.
She just stole it.
We have to put those.
She M&M'd me.
She told the fucking dirt before I got a chance
(45:29):
to call her out on it.
Clean it out of my closet, baby.
I was just about to be like, when you were like,
I like to almost pee my pants, I was like,
or spoiler alert, she pisses her pants
during the episodes, this one over here.
We have to get you a chuck and just leave it down there.
I know, I know.
I was just gonna get her one of those little she-wees
and like a little two liter bottle.
She-wees, she-wees, stop.
We're gonna get her a pure wick.
(45:50):
We'll just do that and just like hook it up to a suction.
I love a good old cooter canoe.
Dish canoes, if you will.
Dish canoes, I've had a couple of those in there.
Hey, oh.
Those are so bad for your pH.
I know.
All right, we're off subject.
Yes, okay, anyways, we're back on, back on.
Back on.
So what, so we did the weather.
What's some other ones you got for us?
I love her ray of sunshine.
I just wanna point that out.
(46:12):
We can journal.
Journal's very important.
I hate writing.
Okay, fair.
I'm not downing that for anybody else that does it.
Okay.
I just hate writing.
Okay, that's fair.
Is it you don't like the actual physical act
of having to write something down
or you don't like having to put your feelings down on paper?
I hate having to put my feelings down.
Why?
(46:32):
I don't know, I just do.
I've always been that way, like, especially in school
and they're like, hey, let's write an essay on this subject.
I don't wanna fucking write an essay.
I don't wanna fucking do any of that shit.
Why do you care about my opinion?
Have you, so have you ever just had a curiosity?
Cause I used to hate writing too.
Like the actual physical act of having to sit and write.
But I will say something that does help is I start
(46:52):
when I started like journaling for a little bit,
I would literally put like all the messiest, shittiest,
like thoughts and comments and feelings
about myself on paper.
And then afterwards I would take them and burn them.
I like burning things.
Yeah.
And it was, I was told to actually.
I saw like Sid from fucking Toy Story.
You should see her toys.
But anyways.
(47:13):
Not those toys, boys and girls.
No, no.
But no, like for real, like I was told by a therapist
one of the times to literally take and write down
my feelings and thoughts, right?
Like your deepest, darkest feelings,
things that you don't even talk about to anybody else.
And you take them and you put them inside
like a fire safe style thing, like a fire pit per se.
(47:33):
Don't just throw them on the floor.
Yeah, yeah.
And you go ahead and you light them on fire.
And as they're burning, you're letting them go.
Also similar is when people write things on plates.
A lot of people do it at New Year's.
Some people do it at the end of relationships.
And you get a little Greek in you, okay?
And you write it all down and you smash the plates
and anywhere, I mean, don't do it inside your house
(47:54):
because then you gotta clean all that shit up.
But like go somewhere and just smash the plates
and it helps with aggression.
It helps with getting those feelings of anger out.
Whatever you're feeling at that moment.
And then you're destroying the words
that you think about yourself.
I love that.
Like a rage room.
Fuck, yes.
Yes, I like that reaction much better.
Just to give everybody else out there.
(48:15):
We had to literally cut and redo that scene
because she literally screamed in the microphone.
She's like, yes, I love that.
I do love that idea.
When Valerie gets intense about something,
like she's for it.
It's pretty loud.
Yeah, it was.
It was perfect though, I liked it.
I wish it didn't peak her microphones out
so I could have just kept it.
Yeah, well, sorry guys.
Anyway, you get the fuck yeah.
(48:36):
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Oh yeah.
That would be actually really good therapy,
I think for all of us
because I think we could use a little rage room.
Like just give me a baseball bat
and some fucking TVs and old VCRs and shit.
Let's go.
Dude.
Let's fucking go.
I was just gonna say that.
We just showed her age.
I mean, I just showed my age at least.
I don't give a fuck.
So on a less aggressive note,
(48:58):
sometimes with my meditation,
I do a guided imagery,
which I learned back in 2015 on a,
I was watching YouTube about meditation.
And in that meditation video,
he was telling you to create a space
that feels safe for you to release your emotions.
So he was kind of walking you through.
He didn't tell you what to create.
(49:20):
So in my mind, I created a dark brick castle.
Okay.
And it's always at night and it's on like a waterline.
So whether it's ocean, I don't really,
I don't know, ocean or a big river,
whatever the fuck it is.
But anyway, so it's really tall, it's circular,
and it's dark brick and it's got this wide stairwell
(49:43):
that kind of goes in a spiral motion
all the way up to the top.
And it's a flat top.
So when I get to that top of there,
I'm already starting to think about things that bothered me,
things that I'm pissed off about, things that I'm sad about.
I take, can I ask a question real quick?
So when you are meditating,
are you like, when you start your meditation,
(50:03):
are you starting from the bottom of the castle
and walking up and as you're walking up,
you're thinking about these things?
Okay, that's all I wanna know.
And then it's a pretty long, in my imagery,
it's a pretty long thing.
So it's probably about a couple of minutes.
It takes me to get to the top.
And so when I get there, I think about,
okay, I'm sad because I feel like I let someone down today.
(50:26):
I take that feeling, I put it into these lanterns,
and then I light the lantern
and I watch it go over the water.
And anytime I have a flooding thought,
which is super important too,
anytime I have a flooding thought,
immediately I imagine that lantern.
I'm like, nope, send it back.
So it's basically almost in a sense,
the same way as when you're journaling
and you're burning it and letting it go,
(50:47):
you're doing the same thing.
It's just meditation.
Yep, I got that.
That makes sense.
So that helps.
Instead of actually physically doing it,
I literally go there in my mind.
So that actually, that really helps me.
That's awesome though.
I actually really liked that.
I think that's good.
Now, of course, those are the things that work for me,
work for Jessica and work for Liz.
But if you have any tips, tricks, tools,
(51:08):
anything that we didn't speak about
that could help us or other people,
your co-listeners, your co-friends,
please send them our way.
Cause I really think that that's very important
that we all share as a community.
Absolutely.
Cause that will help everybody.
Yeah.
And in order to send those in,
you can write us at our email, unhingedmemoirs.gmail.com.
(51:29):
We are on all major social media platforms,
TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, even the Snapchat.
Even the Snapchat.
The Snap-a-chat.
And also, if you want to listen to more of these episodes,
please remember to like, subscribe,
smash that share button on all major podcast platforms.
If you don't know where those are by now,
Apple, podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Pandora,
(51:53):
and all of the others, if you find them,
we're there, unhingedmemoirs.
But for now, we'd like to go ahead
and just share the National Suicide Prevention Line.
Please use this line.
Please call in.
I know that it sounds stupid,
but everybody needs somebody.
That number is 1-800-273-8255.
(52:16):
Again, that's 1-800-273-8255.
And that is for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
And I know that I kind of touched on substance abuse
and addiction, so I think that it's very important
for those people to get help as well.
This is for the Substance Abuse
and Mental Health Administration Helpline.
That number is 1-800-662-4357.
(52:38):
And I also know that as well,
I know that we've given both of the numbers.
There is another way to do it too as well
if you know someone that is struggling,
or if you yourself are struggling,
you can actually call from your cell phone or text 988,
or you can even get on the website
and chat at 988lifeline.org.
It is 100% confidential.
It's a free crisis service that is available for everyone
(52:59):
24 hours a day, seven days a week.
And the texting portion is good
because if you don't feel like talking verbally.
So important.
It's sometimes better to text.
Absolutely.
So just a big thing that we do want you to remember
is it's temporary.
Depression, it comes and goes in waves,
and you have to learn to try and cope with those.
(53:19):
As hard as it can be, you have to,
and maybe come up with a little mantra
of this too shall pass.
Yeah, and you also have to remember
that you have already survived 100% of your worst days,
and you can keep going.
And we love you.
And we see you, we understand you, we validate you.
You are heard through us.
Please take care of yourselves.
If you need to reach out, please reach out
(53:40):
and utilize all the different outlets
that we also gave you if need be.
We love you.
And until next time, we hope you have a wonderful day.
Don't forget to be proud of yourself.
Don't forget to be grateful for everything that you have
and for the opportunity that you have
to wake up in the mornings.
Thank you for listening.
We love you.
(54:01):
And until next time, bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
you
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com