November 27, 2025 • 17 mins
Your life path does not have to be a straight line. That feeling of being "behind" or having a disjointed journey is a common struggle—but it might simply be a sign that you have a multi-faceted purpose, one that branches out like a strong, deep-rooted tree.
In this week’s philosophical yet grounded episode, we explore why embracing a non-linear path is crucial to long-term fulfillment. We discuss:
- The difference between a linear purpose (the straight line) and a branching purpose (the tree).
- The immense freedom of knowing that every choice leads to essential learning and the refinement of your true self.
- How to find the things that source and fill you up, transforming you from someone waiting into someone choosing.
Ready to validate your unique life journey?
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
There are moments in life that split us open.
(00:02):
Quiet unravelings, suddenbreaks, or truths we didn't know
we needed until we had nochoice.
This podcast is about thosemoments.
It's about the turning pointsthat change us.
The things I wish someone hadtold me that I only understand
in looking back.
Come on in.
You belong here, and we're gonnatalk about all of it.
I'm your host, Natanya, and thisis what I didn't know.
(00:29):
Before we begin, a quick note.
This podcast explores themessuch as mental health,
addiction, trauma, and recovery.
While the stories here arehonest and heartfelt, they're
not a substitute forprofessional advice, therapy, or
medical treatment.
Please listen with care andpause anytime you need to.
Take whatever resonates for youand leave the rest.
(00:51):
Every so often I sit down torecord something just for you.
A short reflection, no script,no guest.
It's where I share what I'vebeen thinking about lately,
straight from the heart.
Alright, so I have recorded thisepisode like five times already,
and I don't know why I'm havingsuch a hard time with this.
(01:11):
I think maybe because it's asong interpretation, and I keep
going on tangents with it that Idon't mean to, but we're gonna
try again and see if thissticks.
So I want to talk about a songtoday.
Interpretation of music isalways just that.
It's just the way that I feltsomething and wanted to talk
about the psychology behind itand why I think it's important.
(01:32):
And the song I want to talkabout is I Can Still Make
Cheyenne by George Strait.
And the specific point of thisthat I want to get into is if
you haven't heard the song,there is a woman at home and she
gets a phone call from herpartner, who is a man who is a
cowboy that lives the rodeolife.
So he is gone off on the road,doing his thing, chasing his
(01:54):
dreams, and she is at home.
And when she picks up the phone,he says, you know, I didn't make
this round.
I'm gonna come home.
And he's been gone for howeverlong.
And her response is essentially,don't bother.
This life isn't working for me.
I found someone new who doesn'tlive that life and I'm gonna go
(02:17):
follow that.
And when she says that, then hisresponse is I'm I'm really gonna
miss you.
But if I hurry, I can still makeCheyenne.
Like I can still go make thenext rodeo.
And so what I love about this isbecause you have someone who's
(02:39):
following his purpose, hisdream.
And where this gets misconstrueda little bit is a lot of the
times the person who's at homewill think and believe that if
they were enough or if they weremore or if the person loved them
enough that they would changeand they would come home.
And that's not true.
It like he could love her morethan all the stars in the sky,
(03:00):
and he's still not gonna givethat up because it's part of who
he is.
And in fact, asking him to dothat would be a really big
disservice because for him toabandon that part of himself
that is crucial to his identitywould do him some damage because
it would be an internal battlethat he then had to face, even
(03:22):
if he did come home, because helost a part of himself.
And not only did he lose it, hegave it up from something that
he loved.
And so then who he becomes whenhe's at home not following his
dream is often altogether adifferent version of himself
because of that cut that hemade, really.
And so what I want to talk aboutis finding something that is
(03:45):
yours, right?
We talk about purpose, which isit can be a big word, it can be
overwhelming.
I think it gets misconstruedsometimes, like that there's
this one thing that you're hereto do and you have to find it.
And if you don't find it, you'redone for, you know, or you're
lost.
And I don't think that's true.
I do think that we're all herefor different reasons.
(04:08):
I think that those reasons canchange over time.
Your purpose at one stage ofyour life might be different
than in another stage of yourlife.
My mom is a good example ofthis.
When she was younger, I do thinkpart of her purpose, just from
what I know about her, was beinga mom.
And as her life changed and herchildren became adults, you
(04:29):
don't get to live into thatpurpose the same way you did
when they were young.
And so I think she's changed herpurpose, what she does now, and
how she fulfills her time in herlife.
And she had a career thatchanged later in life and then
has recently retired and nowfills her days with all sorts of
projects and other things thatshe has going on, other ideas
(04:52):
for whatever the desire she hadthat she has that pulls her
forward.
But that is changed from what itwas when she was 30.
And I think that we all havedifferent variations on this.
I think it can be your purposecan be more general and it can
be something to the effect ofmaybe it's working with kids.
(05:12):
And for other people, it can bemore specific.
Maybe it's working for withsecond graders who are
bilingual.
That's what really lights youup.
And it can change over time, butalso the level of which you take
it is your own choice.
So if you if you want to workwith kids and you want to
(05:32):
volunteer or you wanna, youknow, work in your local town,
like you can work with kids thatway.
You can also build a businessthat works with kids and take it
to a much higher level where youhave brick and mortar buildings
in multiple states across theUnited States and multiple
cities.
And that you're still either ofthose choices are still under
(05:52):
the umbrella of what yourpurpose is.
It just kind of gives you thatfree will of what you want to do
with it.
But I had spent some time inBali a couple years ago and had
the most interestingconversation with a Vedic
astrologer.
So I I made an appointment to gosee him.
I don't know anything aboutVedic astrology.
(06:13):
I don't know how it's differentthan Western astrology.
I just what I really wanted wasto have someone read my chart,
like in person.
I had just never done that, andI wanted to have that
experience.
And so I made an appointmentwith him, and the only
information he had of minebefore I walked in the door was
my birth date, the time of daythat I was born, and the
(06:34):
location, the city in which Iwas born.
And that was it.
And so I have no idea what toexpect.
We sit down, I don't sayanything, and he just starts
talking about he's reading pagesand pages and pages of what
appears to be in, you know,numbers and letters and things
on a map that don't look likeanything to me.
(06:54):
But he is reading that and hestarts telling me about my past,
and it is incredibly accuratefor someone who doesn't know
anything about me.
And he was like, you know,around this age, you would have
had a really big relationshipfall apart.
And it was when I got divorced.
Um, so things like that.
And he did that a coupledifferent times and in more
(07:16):
specific ways.
We talked about that.
And what that does is validatethat he knows what he's talking
about, that he's readingsomething and that he's
accurate.
And so from there, once you havethat validation and I know that
this is real and we're in we'rein something right here, then he
can move to the future.
And so what he did after thatwas he was like, What do you
(07:37):
want to know?
And I said, Well, um, and at thetime of which I was in Bali, I
was pretty clear by this pointof what direction I was going
in.
It may not be all specifics, butjust kind of the general area of
life that I wanted to move intoand what I wanted to do while I
was on this earth.
I'm I was pretty sure aboutthat, but I wanted to see what
(07:57):
he had to say.
And so I said, I want to knowabout purpose.
And I told him just that thatI'm pretty sure I know things,
but I just want to know what yousee and if I'm close to being
accurate to what I think I'mhere to do, just from you know
what I've learned in all of myyears and time and effort on
this earth.
And so he starts looking at mychart and gets really quiet.
(08:21):
And then he looks at me and hegoes, You know, some people have
like a straight line seeming inwho they are, in their purpose
or what they want to do.
So say someone's a chef and theylike to cook when they were a
kid.
In high school, they lovedcooking classes.
In college, maybe they went toculinary school and then had
(08:45):
opportunities to work inrestaurants under the study of a
chef, and then later become anexecutive chef at some great
restaurant or something likethat.
And so they go in a straightline.
And I'm like, yeah.
He goes, You're not like that,um, which is not shocking to me.
But it was really beautiful tohave someone validate what I
(09:06):
already thought that I knew.
And he said, You're more like atree, where you have a the
trunk, the foundation, and thearea of the thing that you want
to create and be a part of willbe solid and you're gonna stay
in that sort of same realm.
But you'll have these bigbranches that go off in
different directions becausethere's more than one thing that
(09:29):
you're gonna want to pursue.
And all of this is good.
It's just a different way offunctioning than the chef that's
in the straight line.
And so I was like, well, you'reright.
Um, I've always been that way.
I have, you know, multipleinterests, and I could see that
being accurate of it's likebuilding a business that has
(09:50):
multiple wings to it ordifferent departments or
different, you know, carrycategories or areas of things
that are things you want to workon.
And so what I loved about thatthough, he also said you he said
the way your chart lays out,like this is you're just now
hitting your stride with that.
And it's not that you haven'tworked or learned things before,
(10:13):
but you're really like right onthe cusp of nailing, like
walking into what is yourpurpose.
It's a later in life thing foryou.
Some people get it early, yoursis later.
And that was so validating andfreeing for me because for a
very long time my resume did notfollow a straight line.
I was very clear on why I wasmaking decisions I was making,
but it didn't look good on apiece of paper.
(10:34):
And I felt like I was behind.
And I know now that thatcouldn't be further from the
truth, but at the time whenyou're sort of benchmarking
where you're at and comparing itto other people, it didn't feel
very good.
And I felt like maybe I don'tknow what I'm doing, maybe I
don't have a purpose.
And so it was just very cool tohave someone validate that not
(10:55):
only was the way in which thisis unfolding make sense to me
and who I am and how I want tobe in the world, but also the
timing of it was it just hadn'thappened yet.
So nothing was wrong, which wasreally great to hear.
So I want to go into that, thatthat you when we're we're
talking about the thing Ibrought up in the beginning,
(11:15):
which is the song and herwaiting.
If you're a person waiting oryou don't have a thing that's
yours, my best advice advicewould be to go find something
that's just for you.
What would you be doing ifyou're not waiting for someone
else or hoping that they'llchange and come build this life
for you with you?
(11:36):
What can you do to fill yourtime that really fills you up
and sources you for who you areand want to keep becoming?
And what will often happen toois that people will stay
stagnant and not make choicesbecause they're hinging on if
this, then that, or if thatperson moves this, then I'll
move that instead of making achoice that's just for them.
(11:58):
And the beautiful thing aboutmaking choices, I'm such a big
fan of making choices.
It's one of my favorite thingsto talk about.
And what happens is that whenyou make a choice in any
direction, should I stay, shouldI go, should I go left or right?
I'm at a crossroads.
What I love to tell people and Ilove to live by, which is hard
sometimes, is you can't fuck itup.
(12:22):
Because in the action, in themovement that happens when you
make a decision, you've shiftedsomething.
And now you're you might be atiny decision, it might be three
steps to the right, or a reallybig life-changing decision.
It doesn't matter.
Either way, in movement, youhave a new perspective.
And from a new perspective, youcan see things differently.
(12:43):
And always when you make achoice, two things will happen.
One, you will change.
And two, you will learnsomething.
And both of these are incrediblypowerful.
They're always great to have,whichever way you change and
whatever you're learning,because even as you're learning
things, all you're doing isrefining, repeatedly refining
(13:04):
who you are, what you're about,why you're here.
Because every time you make achoice and lean into it, you'll
learn what you like, what youdon't like, what you're good at,
what you're not good at.
You'll learn about the thingsthat lift you up, fuel you,
source you through, like justmake you want to set the world
on fire because you're soexcited about them and so alive.
(13:25):
And the things that deplete anddrain you and frustrate you and
cause you exhaustion and are,you know, things that you don't
want to be a part of.
And that's such an importantspace to sit in because that's
how you learn.
And every time you take a stepand you keep refining and you
keep you're just getting betterand better at being you, which
(13:45):
is a really great place to be.
And sometimes, sometimes youwill step backwards.
There's been plenty of timesI've stepped backwards and was
like, oh, that was not great.
But I think too, the more youlearn, if you can pick up on the
things that you learn as you go,you don't step back as far.
Like I used to really have tolearn things the hard way.
(14:05):
And I sort of made a decisionafter a couple rounds at that
being my life, that I just Idon't want to learn the hard way
anymore.
And so when something starts tolike tilt me in that direction,
or I'll start to feel like, eh,maybe that wasn't a great
choice, I'll adjust it prettyquickly instead of waiting for
the whole train to derail.
(14:25):
Um so you're just getting betterat it.
But it's it's really aboutbecoming more you and finding
the things that source and fillyou up so that you are a whole
person and that you have yourwhole life.
And anyone around you, like itis awesome to be, you know, for
her in that situation, say she'ssupporting him in other ways, or
(14:47):
maybe they have a family athome.
Like, there's so many variationsof places you can find purpose
and what they can look like.
You can be a stay-at-home mom,you can paint, you can build
things, you can have a job onthe road, you can travel, like
there's different things thatcome with that, just depending
on who you are.
(15:07):
But I think the more, the moreI've gotten better at finding
what I'm about and what keeps megoing, the more, the less I am
reactive to the state ofwhatever anyone else is doing.
And so I get to be a wholeperson.
I make choices, I live for themost part through how I want to
(15:31):
be in the world and what I wantto learn about and where I want
to explore and where do I thinkI can be of service?
And who can I support in theprocess of my friends and family
or a partner who with whatthey're doing, and be a sounding
board or a cheerleader, youknow, and how can I show up for
them?
And at the same time, where do Ineed space to go do the things
(15:52):
that are me and have peoplearound me that support that, but
also give me the space that Ineed, which is a requirement
that I have.
I need space.
It's just part of how I functionas a human.
And for a long time I mademyself wrong about that too, for
many reasons, but that's anotherwhole episode.
But finding something that isyours is one of the most
(16:14):
beautiful pieces of advice I cangive you.
There's not a right and wrongway to find it.
You just kind of start and seewhat you like and what you don't
like and sort of follow theright white rabbit and see where
it takes you.
Um, because the more you listen,the more you say yes, the more
you refine, the better you get.
(16:34):
And all of that leads up to theperson that you get to become.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
It means more than you know.
If you enjoyed this episode,please share it with a friend or
leave a quick rating or reviewwherever you listen to podcasts.
It helps more people find theshow.
If you want more of me, head onover to nataniallison.com and
(16:55):
enter your name and email forbehind-the-scenes updates in
between shows.
New episodes air every Tuesday.
We'll see you next week.
There are moments in life that split us open.
(00:02):
Quiet unravelings, suddenbreaks, or truths we didn't know
we needed until we had nochoice.
This podcast is about thosemoments.
It's about the turning pointsthat change us.
The things I wish someone hadtold me that I only understand
in looking back.
Come on in.
You belong here, and we're gonnatalk about all of it.
I'm your host, Natanya, and thisis what I didn't know.
(00:29):
Before we begin, a quick note.
This podcast explores themessuch as mental health,
addiction, trauma, and recovery.
While the stories here arehonest and heartfelt, they're
not a substitute forprofessional advice, therapy, or
medical treatment.
Please listen with care andpause anytime you need to.
Take whatever resonates for youand leave the rest.
(00:51):
Every so often I sit down torecord something just for you.
A short reflection, no script,no guest.
It's where I share what I'vebeen thinking about lately,
straight from the heart.
Alright, so I have recorded thisepisode like five times already,
and I don't know why I'm havingsuch a hard time with this.
(01:11):
I think maybe because it's asong interpretation, and I keep
going on tangents with it that Idon't mean to, but we're gonna
try again and see if thissticks.
So I want to talk about a songtoday.
Interpretation of music isalways just that.
It's just the way that I feltsomething and wanted to talk
about the psychology behind itand why I think it's important.
(01:32):
And the song I want to talkabout is I Can Still Make
Cheyenne by George Strait.
And the specific point of thisthat I want to get into is if
you haven't heard the song,there is a woman at home and she
gets a phone call from herpartner, who is a man who is a
cowboy that lives the rodeolife.
So he is gone off on the road,doing his thing, chasing his
(01:54):
dreams, and she is at home.
And when she picks up the phone,he says, you know, I didn't make
this round.
I'm gonna come home.
And he's been gone for howeverlong.
And her response is essentially,don't bother.
This life isn't working for me.
I found someone new who doesn'tlive that life and I'm gonna go
(02:17):
follow that.
And when she says that, then hisresponse is I'm I'm really gonna
miss you.
But if I hurry, I can still makeCheyenne.
Like I can still go make thenext rodeo.
And so what I love about this isbecause you have someone who's
(02:39):
following his purpose, hisdream.
And where this gets misconstrueda little bit is a lot of the
times the person who's at homewill think and believe that if
they were enough or if they weremore or if the person loved them
enough that they would changeand they would come home.
And that's not true.
It like he could love her morethan all the stars in the sky,
(03:00):
and he's still not gonna givethat up because it's part of who
he is.
And in fact, asking him to dothat would be a really big
disservice because for him toabandon that part of himself
that is crucial to his identitywould do him some damage because
it would be an internal battlethat he then had to face, even
(03:22):
if he did come home, because helost a part of himself.
And not only did he lose it, hegave it up from something that
he loved.
And so then who he becomes whenhe's at home not following his
dream is often altogether adifferent version of himself
because of that cut that hemade, really.
And so what I want to talk aboutis finding something that is
(03:45):
yours, right?
We talk about purpose, which isit can be a big word, it can be
overwhelming.
I think it gets misconstruedsometimes, like that there's
this one thing that you're hereto do and you have to find it.
And if you don't find it, you'redone for, you know, or you're
lost.
And I don't think that's true.
I do think that we're all herefor different reasons.
(04:08):
I think that those reasons canchange over time.
Your purpose at one stage ofyour life might be different
than in another stage of yourlife.
My mom is a good example ofthis.
When she was younger, I do thinkpart of her purpose, just from
what I know about her, was beinga mom.
And as her life changed and herchildren became adults, you
(04:29):
don't get to live into thatpurpose the same way you did
when they were young.
And so I think she's changed herpurpose, what she does now, and
how she fulfills her time in herlife.
And she had a career thatchanged later in life and then
has recently retired and nowfills her days with all sorts of
projects and other things thatshe has going on, other ideas
(04:52):
for whatever the desire she hadthat she has that pulls her
forward.
But that is changed from what itwas when she was 30.
And I think that we all havedifferent variations on this.
I think it can be your purposecan be more general and it can
be something to the effect ofmaybe it's working with kids.
(05:12):
And for other people, it can bemore specific.
Maybe it's working for withsecond graders who are
bilingual.
That's what really lights youup.
And it can change over time, butalso the level of which you take
it is your own choice.
So if you if you want to workwith kids and you want to
(05:32):
volunteer or you wanna, youknow, work in your local town,
like you can work with kids thatway.
You can also build a businessthat works with kids and take it
to a much higher level where youhave brick and mortar buildings
in multiple states across theUnited States and multiple
cities.
And that you're still either ofthose choices are still under
(05:52):
the umbrella of what yourpurpose is.
It just kind of gives you thatfree will of what you want to do
with it.
But I had spent some time inBali a couple years ago and had
the most interestingconversation with a Vedic
astrologer.
So I I made an appointment to gosee him.
I don't know anything aboutVedic astrology.
(06:13):
I don't know how it's differentthan Western astrology.
I just what I really wanted wasto have someone read my chart,
like in person.
I had just never done that, andI wanted to have that
experience.
And so I made an appointmentwith him, and the only
information he had of minebefore I walked in the door was
my birth date, the time of daythat I was born, and the
(06:34):
location, the city in which Iwas born.
And that was it.
And so I have no idea what toexpect.
We sit down, I don't sayanything, and he just starts
talking about he's reading pagesand pages and pages of what
appears to be in, you know,numbers and letters and things
on a map that don't look likeanything to me.
(06:54):
But he is reading that and hestarts telling me about my past,
and it is incredibly accuratefor someone who doesn't know
anything about me.
And he was like, you know,around this age, you would have
had a really big relationshipfall apart.
And it was when I got divorced.
Um, so things like that.
And he did that a coupledifferent times and in more
(07:16):
specific ways.
We talked about that.
And what that does is validatethat he knows what he's talking
about, that he's readingsomething and that he's
accurate.
And so from there, once you havethat validation and I know that
this is real and we're in we'rein something right here, then he
can move to the future.
And so what he did after thatwas he was like, What do you
(07:37):
want to know?
And I said, Well, um, and at thetime of which I was in Bali, I
was pretty clear by this pointof what direction I was going
in.
It may not be all specifics, butjust kind of the general area of
life that I wanted to move intoand what I wanted to do while I
was on this earth.
I'm I was pretty sure aboutthat, but I wanted to see what
(07:57):
he had to say.
And so I said, I want to knowabout purpose.
And I told him just that thatI'm pretty sure I know things,
but I just want to know what yousee and if I'm close to being
accurate to what I think I'mhere to do, just from you know
what I've learned in all of myyears and time and effort on
this earth.
And so he starts looking at mychart and gets really quiet.
(08:21):
And then he looks at me and hegoes, You know, some people have
like a straight line seeming inwho they are, in their purpose
or what they want to do.
So say someone's a chef and theylike to cook when they were a
kid.
In high school, they lovedcooking classes.
In college, maybe they went toculinary school and then had
(08:45):
opportunities to work inrestaurants under the study of a
chef, and then later become anexecutive chef at some great
restaurant or something likethat.
And so they go in a straightline.
And I'm like, yeah.
He goes, You're not like that,um, which is not shocking to me.
But it was really beautiful tohave someone validate what I
(09:06):
already thought that I knew.
And he said, You're more like atree, where you have a the
trunk, the foundation, and thearea of the thing that you want
to create and be a part of willbe solid and you're gonna stay
in that sort of same realm.
But you'll have these bigbranches that go off in
different directions becausethere's more than one thing that
(09:29):
you're gonna want to pursue.
And all of this is good.
It's just a different way offunctioning than the chef that's
in the straight line.
And so I was like, well, you'reright.
Um, I've always been that way.
I have, you know, multipleinterests, and I could see that
being accurate of it's likebuilding a business that has
(09:50):
multiple wings to it ordifferent departments or
different, you know, carrycategories or areas of things
that are things you want to workon.
And so what I loved about thatthough, he also said you he said
the way your chart lays out,like this is you're just now
hitting your stride with that.
And it's not that you haven'tworked or learned things before,
(10:13):
but you're really like right onthe cusp of nailing, like
walking into what is yourpurpose.
It's a later in life thing foryou.
Some people get it early, yoursis later.
And that was so validating andfreeing for me because for a
very long time my resume did notfollow a straight line.
I was very clear on why I wasmaking decisions I was making,
but it didn't look good on apiece of paper.
(10:34):
And I felt like I was behind.
And I know now that thatcouldn't be further from the
truth, but at the time whenyou're sort of benchmarking
where you're at and comparing itto other people, it didn't feel
very good.
And I felt like maybe I don'tknow what I'm doing, maybe I
don't have a purpose.
And so it was just very cool tohave someone validate that not
(10:55):
only was the way in which thisis unfolding make sense to me
and who I am and how I want tobe in the world, but also the
timing of it was it just hadn'thappened yet.
So nothing was wrong, which wasreally great to hear.
So I want to go into that, thatthat you when we're we're
talking about the thing Ibrought up in the beginning,
(11:15):
which is the song and herwaiting.
If you're a person waiting oryou don't have a thing that's
yours, my best advice advicewould be to go find something
that's just for you.
What would you be doing ifyou're not waiting for someone
else or hoping that they'llchange and come build this life
for you with you?
(11:36):
What can you do to fill yourtime that really fills you up
and sources you for who you areand want to keep becoming?
And what will often happen toois that people will stay
stagnant and not make choicesbecause they're hinging on if
this, then that, or if thatperson moves this, then I'll
move that instead of making achoice that's just for them.
(11:58):
And the beautiful thing aboutmaking choices, I'm such a big
fan of making choices.
It's one of my favorite thingsto talk about.
And what happens is that whenyou make a choice in any
direction, should I stay, shouldI go, should I go left or right?
I'm at a crossroads.
What I love to tell people and Ilove to live by, which is hard
sometimes, is you can't fuck itup.
(12:22):
Because in the action, in themovement that happens when you
make a decision, you've shiftedsomething.
And now you're you might be atiny decision, it might be three
steps to the right, or a reallybig life-changing decision.
It doesn't matter.
Either way, in movement, youhave a new perspective.
And from a new perspective, youcan see things differently.
(12:43):
And always when you make achoice, two things will happen.
One, you will change.
And two, you will learnsomething.
And both of these are incrediblypowerful.
They're always great to have,whichever way you change and
whatever you're learning,because even as you're learning
things, all you're doing isrefining, repeatedly refining
(13:04):
who you are, what you're about,why you're here.
Because every time you make achoice and lean into it, you'll
learn what you like, what youdon't like, what you're good at,
what you're not good at.
You'll learn about the thingsthat lift you up, fuel you,
source you through, like justmake you want to set the world
on fire because you're soexcited about them and so alive.
(13:25):
And the things that deplete anddrain you and frustrate you and
cause you exhaustion and are,you know, things that you don't
want to be a part of.
And that's such an importantspace to sit in because that's
how you learn.
And every time you take a stepand you keep refining and you
keep you're just getting betterand better at being you, which
(13:45):
is a really great place to be.
And sometimes, sometimes youwill step backwards.
There's been plenty of timesI've stepped backwards and was
like, oh, that was not great.
But I think too, the more youlearn, if you can pick up on the
things that you learn as you go,you don't step back as far.
Like I used to really have tolearn things the hard way.
(14:05):
And I sort of made a decisionafter a couple rounds at that
being my life, that I just Idon't want to learn the hard way
anymore.
And so when something starts tolike tilt me in that direction,
or I'll start to feel like, eh,maybe that wasn't a great
choice, I'll adjust it prettyquickly instead of waiting for
the whole train to derail.
(14:25):
Um so you're just getting betterat it.
But it's it's really aboutbecoming more you and finding
the things that source and fillyou up so that you are a whole
person and that you have yourwhole life.
And anyone around you, like itis awesome to be, you know, for
her in that situation, say she'ssupporting him in other ways, or
(14:47):
maybe they have a family athome.
Like, there's so many variationsof places you can find purpose
and what they can look like.
You can be a stay-at-home mom,you can paint, you can build
things, you can have a job onthe road, you can travel, like
there's different things thatcome with that, just depending
on who you are.
(15:07):
But I think the more, the moreI've gotten better at finding
what I'm about and what keeps megoing, the more, the less I am
reactive to the state ofwhatever anyone else is doing.
And so I get to be a wholeperson.
I make choices, I live for themost part through how I want to
(15:31):
be in the world and what I wantto learn about and where I want
to explore and where do I thinkI can be of service?
And who can I support in theprocess of my friends and family
or a partner who with whatthey're doing, and be a sounding
board or a cheerleader, youknow, and how can I show up for
them?
And at the same time, where do Ineed space to go do the things
(15:52):
that are me and have peoplearound me that support that, but
also give me the space that Ineed, which is a requirement
that I have.
I need space.
It's just part of how I functionas a human.
And for a long time I mademyself wrong about that too, for
many reasons, but that's anotherwhole episode.
But finding something that isyours is one of the most
(16:14):
beautiful pieces of advice I cangive you.
There's not a right and wrongway to find it.
You just kind of start and seewhat you like and what you don't
like and sort of follow theright white rabbit and see where
it takes you.
Um, because the more you listen,the more you say yes, the more
you refine, the better you get.
(16:34):
And all of that leads up to theperson that you get to become.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
It means more than you know.
If you enjoyed this episode,please share it with a friend or
leave a quick rating or reviewwherever you listen to podcasts.
It helps more people find theshow.
If you want more of me, head onover to nataniallison.com and
(16:55):
enter your name and email forbehind-the-scenes updates in
between shows.
New episodes air every Tuesday.
We'll see you next week.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Male Room with Dr. Jesse Mills
As Director of The Men’s Clinic at UCLA, Dr. Jesse Mills has spent his career helping men understand their bodies, their hormones, and their health. Now he’s bringing that expertise to The Male Room — a podcast where data-driven medicine meets common sense. Each episode separates fact from hype, science from snake oil, and gives men the tools to live longer, stronger, and happier lives. With candor, humor, and real-world experience from the exam room and the operating room, Dr. Mills breaks down the latest health headlines, dissects trends, and explains what actually works — and what doesn’t. Smart, straightforward, and entertaining, The Male Room is the show that helps men take charge of their health without the jargon.