June 15, 2026 • 71 mins
Rob Paylor shares the life-changing moment a rugby injury left him paralyzed and the mindset that helped him rebuild his life after a spinal cord injury. He reveals powerful lessons on resilience, faith, gratitude, goal setting, forgiveness, mental toughness, and finding purpose through adversity. Rob explains how small daily wins, perspective shifts, and service to others fueled his recovery and helped him achieve what once seemed impossible. This conversation is packed with practical tools for overcoming challenges, building mental strength, and winning when life doesn't go according to plan.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
And then I just felt this god awful crunch in my
(00:02):
neck.
And then just oof.
Can't move anything.
Can't feel anything.
Totally clear and conscious inmy mind of what's going on, just
as clear and conscious as I amright now.
But 100% numb and emotionlessfrom my color bone down.
And in an instant, I knew that Ibroke my neck.
(00:27):
That this was really bad.
And there was like a 99.9%chance that my life had just
completely changed.
That I was in my worst nightmareand I was not going to wake up.
SPEAKER_01 (00:47):
Welcome to Win Today.
This show is crafted for thosewho want to win in every aspect
of their lives.
Every week you will learn from arenowned thought leader that
will share a piece of a winningplaybook that you can
incorporate into your life.
If this show has a positiveimpact on you and you see value
in it, please share it withsomebody and leave a rating and
review so we can help morepeople win.
(01:18):
Whether you're walking, sitting,scrolling on your phone,
multitasking, whatever the casemay be, sit with that for a
minute.
Because what you're doing rightnow is likely something that you
don't think twice about.
If you're walking, you'rewalking.
(01:40):
You don't think twice about it.
Once we learn how to walk andmove, that's what we do.
If you're scrolling on yourphone, you're using your hands,
you're using your arms, that'swhat you do.
We don't think about it.
Now imagine if that was strippedaway from you.
In an instant.
What would your life look like?
Imagine if you have highaspirations right now, which you
(02:02):
probably do if you're listeningto this.
And something happened thatcompletely altered the course of
where you're going.
We've got Rob Paler, whooriginally appeared on episode
199.
And this was one of the bestdiscussions I've had on this
podcast.
And the reason why this iscoming back is because I saw
something with Rob today.
(02:23):
This is 3,326 days after hebecame paralyzed from an
incident that you're about tohear about.
And he's delivering acommencement address in Seattle.
Standing up, something that hewas told he would never be able
to do again after a traumaticincident while he was playing
(02:46):
cali while he was playing rugbyat University of California,
Berkeley, moving his body, doingsomething that he probably
didn't think twice about, buthad trained and spent his whole
life doing to make it to the topof the sport into which it is
completely taken away from him,to where he is told he would
(03:09):
never be able to walk again oreven get up again.
And here we are, 3300 dayslater.
He is standing, he is inspiring,and he is defying what doctors
told him, and he's defying theodds.
I'm bringing this back becausethere's a lot of new folks that
(03:31):
have joined, but also asencouragement, and and I know
that at this time of year, thisis where things tend to slow
down for people, our minds tendto shift.
And we could all use uh someinspiration and continued uh
focus and fuel to keep goingeven though we're in the summer,
(03:53):
and that's why we're bringingback this discussion with Rob
Paler from paralyzed topowerful.
He is absolutely incredible.
And if you keep up with him,you'll see that not only has he
defied the odds, he just starteda family recently, and he takes
uh genuine pleasure in every dayin challenging his abilities, in
(04:21):
challenging what the doctorstold him about the rest of his
life, and flipping the script onan unfortunate circumstance and
turning it into a gift, not onlyfor himself, but for the world
to experience.
(04:50):
If you're sore from yesterday'sworkout, but you can still move,
Rob would trade you for that ina second.
If you're going throughsomething tough right now, but
you're still fully able to moveyour body and do everything
unassisted, someone like RobPaler would trade you for that
right now and not even thinktwice about it.
(05:12):
I'm wishing that this helpscreate some perspective,
inspiration, and gives you somefuel to challenge something.
Challenge some sort of statusquo or something that someone
said that you couldn't do oryou're not capable of.
(05:33):
I believe that's what you'regonna get after you experience
Rob Paylor.
SPEAKER_00 (05:38):
Rob, welcome, man.
Ryan, thank you for having me.
And uh uh the audio only peoplecan't see it, but I'm blushing
as red as a tomato from thatintro.
You got me fired up.
Very excited.
SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
Stoked to be with you.
Now, before we get in your storyand really dig into the
influence that you have onpeople around the world and to
really take full advantage oftheir lives, what's the most
important thing that we shouldknow about you that we might not
read about you on a piece ofpaper?
SPEAKER_00 (06:10):
Hmm, good one.
Um, I think the thing that isreally like my strongest
foundation uh is my faith.
And um it's something that'salways been a part of who I am
and has certainly changed overthese last eight years since my
injury happened.
And uh it's something that justit gives me purpose in my life.
(06:33):
It gives me meaning in my life.
And through all these crazychallenges I've been through and
just the immensity of the waysin which my life has changed,
has shown me that my challengesaren't for nothing, that all
this hardship I'm going throughis not meaningless, that it's
rooted in purpose.
There's a plan going on here,and I might not know what's
going on, but it's going tosomething good.
(06:54):
And it's been that trust andthat faith that's really helped
me go in here.
So that's something that's justit's really foundational to who
I am and uh has helped methrough everything I've gone
through.
SPEAKER_02 (07:05):
Did you ever question your faith after May
6th, 2017?
SPEAKER_00 (07:13):
You know, it's interesting.
It it matured a lot because I'mChristian and I was always
taught that God had a plan formy life.
I thought that plan was good.
And then, you know, we're gonnago into it more, of course, but
my life gets turned completelyupside down.
(07:34):
I go from being D1 athlete,national championship competitor
to I can't feed myself, I can'tbreathe, I can't go to the
bathroom by myself, and I mightnot ever be able to again if I
even survive through this.
And I'm like thinking about thatplan.
And I'm like, if this is a partof some plan, it's kind of
(07:55):
messed up.
I don't know what's going onhere.
Um, but I always had trust inthat.
That like I have no controlright now.
I have no control over my bodyand my outcomes.
Um, really, the only thing thatI still have here is that faith
and that trust and that plan.
So I stuck with it.
But it's interesting.
(08:16):
At first, I kind of like I wasso on board that I thought like
God destined me to get hurt.
And I was talking with like aspiritual director, and I was
kind of okay with that.
I was like, I could already seelike some of the fruits really
like being developed from thisand the impact it was making on
other people's lives.
Talking to my spiritual directorsaying, like, you know, I know
this was like, you know, Godwanted this to happen to me.
(08:38):
And he's like, stop.
God did not break your neck.
There was a person on that fieldwho broke the laws of the game.
He has free will, and he brokeyour neck.
But your strength, yourfortitude that you're gaining
from this, the inspiration thatit's providing to others, that's
God.
And that really helped me tomature to be to live out strong
(09:02):
faith isn't just to like takethe easy road and everything
that you do.
It's it's really the opposite.
It's to embrace your sufferingsfor the good of others.
And it really helped me flipthat perspective of suffering
being for something, oh my gosh,avoid that at all costs, to be
something like it's not going tobe easy, but there's a gift
(09:23):
within that for you and forothers.
So there was there was like thatmaturity process that really
came in my faith from all this,and it's just changed the way I
really see the world and and therole that suffering has in our
lives.
SPEAKER_02 (09:36):
I love what you say about seeing the gift that it
delivers.
And I believe it does takestrong faith to be able to see
that on the other side of amoment or a circumstance or a
series of events, there isalways a either better version
(10:00):
of yourself or a series ofbetter outcomes that you would
have never imagined, or a thenan inspiring story, but really
the the root of that, if youdon't have strong if you don't
possess a strong mindset andthat sense of core values, then
(10:26):
one may always see a negativeevent as simply that, or a
negative circumstance as simplythat, uh, and not be able to see
and experience the abundance ofgifts that life delivers.
I was sharing with you before westarted why all of this exists
(10:49):
and some of the things I sawgrowing up in California.
Best gifts I could have everreceived in this life that just
aren't packaged, they're justthey're just packaged a little
bit differently.
So what's your take on helpingpeople identify the gifts that
(11:12):
life packages a little bitdifferently for us?
SPEAKER_00 (11:17):
Yeah, it's interesting.
I mean, I think uh it it'salmost like cliche identifying
those gifts.
It's like no pain, no gain, youknow, those those kinds of
little sayings and stuff.
Um there's there's truth inthat.
And if we wake up every day andgo to sleep, put our pillow, our
head on the pillow, and thinklike, uh, I didn't do anything
(11:38):
to challenge myself today.
Um you really didn't grow andand you didn't like receive
gifts, those gifts of that day,if all you're doing is just kind
of like living for comfort andliving for yourself.
Um, I think it's good to thinkof those things in which we do
want to grow.
Um, and it it is good for thatto benefit ourselves.
I do, like we shouldn'tcompletely ignore that.
(11:59):
But I think the biggest reasonwe should be doing it is in
service of others.
And if we can take on achallenge, discomfort, growth in
our lives for the service ofothers, um, it's going to
endure.
It's going to hold us moreaccountable because it's not
like the only person who'sallowing us to say, not today,
(12:19):
I'm good, I'm going to take arest, is just our own internal
dialogue.
We're really responsible topeople or to a mission that's
bigger than ourselves.
Um, you know, here I am today onday 2886 after my injury
battling quadriplegia.
I continue to go each day, notjust so I can go from point A to
(12:39):
point B on my feet, but so thatI can provide inspiration to
others, help them overcome theirchallenges.
It gives me so much to whereit's just I can't quit and I
won't quit because I have thisbig commitment in our lives.
So I think it's finding thosetwo critical factors of it must
be uncomfortable and it mustserve others, is how we identify
those kind of those gifts thatmight be found in struggle.
SPEAKER_02 (13:03):
Let's rewind the clock 2886 days from today.
It's May 6th, 2017.
You're a D1 athlete at Calplaying rugby, the sport that
you love, and your life changesin an instant.
Walk us through that.
SPEAKER_00 (13:24):
Such a huge day.
And uh I was thinking about thisthis morning, actually.
Just like how certain days havecertain significances, you know,
birthdays, anniversaries, stufflike that.
And uh it's just amazing howmuch my life changed on this
day.
And like you said, D1 athlete,UC Berkeley, rugby player.
(13:44):
Just to give people somecontext, UC Berkeley is by far
the number one rugby program inthe nation.
At the time, we're fighting forour 31st national championship,
with the tournament only beingaround for about 45 years.
So you can look at any team atany level in America, and I
think the only team that hiresmore hardware than us in any
sport is the HarlemGlobetrotters.
(14:05):
And their games are rigged.
So, like, we're doing prettygood.
I'm excited.
I'm starting, I'm a sophomore.
This wasn't an easy or commonthing to do, to be starting on a
team like this in a game likethis as a sophomore.
So I absolutely love this game.
I love this university.
I'm getting into the businessschool there, got my dreams
after that.
It was just a really good timeto be me.
(14:26):
And I knew that.
I was very grateful for it.
And it was early on in this gamethat I'm competing in a mall,
which is one of the big guys, wegrew up in a single unit.
We start pushing to advance theball.
Defense's job is to comestraight in and stop us from
moving forward.
It's kind of like in footballwhen a running back gets stood
up and the linemen move thepile.
(14:46):
Like that.
We're just a little moreorganized about it.
And it was totally my moment.
I mean, 6'5 at the time, like245 pounds.
I'm just on this field to movebodies.
And we're five meters off fromscoring this thing.
I'm like drooling here,thinking, let's go, Rob, drive
this thing in.
And then as I'm doing that,these opposing players they
start making these illegalmoves, and referee's not calling
(15:10):
anything.
So I remember we're in a lineup,I bring the ball carrier down, I
throw my shoulders forward, andimmediately I get pressure from
the side, which is a penalty inrugby.
Can't do that, but the ref's notcalling it.
So, you know, things happen inrugby and you just got to keep
moving forward.
But this first player who comesin, he finds my head in a
(15:30):
headlock.
So he's got my chin kind ofpinned down to my chest.
And in rugby, that's anautomatic yellow or red card.
You do that, you're gone, butthe ref's not calling it.
And I keep pushing forward, Ikeep just kind of moving my
legs.
And another player comes in andhe chops me down by my legs.
So I start going down, and thisarm lock that's around my neck
that continues to improve.
(15:51):
I'm just muscles flexing in theforum.
I'm trying to fight upwards, butI just can't.
It's a it's a losing battle.
And I remember I just kind ofclosed my eyes, I grip my teeth
for impact, and then I just feltthis god-awful crunch in my
neck, and then just poof.
Can't move anything, can't feelanything.
Totally clear and conscious inmy mind of what's going on, just
(16:14):
as clear and conscious as I amright now, but 100% numb and
motionless from my collarbonedown.
And in an instant, I knew that Ibroke my neck, that this was
really bad, and there was like a99.9% chance that my life had
(16:36):
just completely changed, that Iwas in my worst nightmare, and I
was not going to wake up fromit.
Because I had you know, contactsports.
These things happen.
They're not they're not common,but they happen.
I remember I was like thinkingback to stories that I'd seen
like this.
The one I thought of at the timewas Eric Le Grand, and Eric was
(16:56):
a Rutgers football player and hewas on special teams, cervical
spinal cord injury, paralyzed.
And uh I mean, this guy's gotthe heart of a warrior.
I mean, he's amazing, and he'sgotten a lot more progress back
than he was supposed to, but youknow, he's he's a quadruplegic
and he's in a chair and heneeded to be on a vent for some
(17:16):
time just so he could breathe.
And I started thinking likethat's gonna be me.
Like, I might not even get asfar as he did.
And I just envisioned thisreality where I'm gonna just sit
in a house all day.
I won't go back to Cal.
I won't get my degree, I won'thave a job, nobody's gonna want
to marry me.
(17:37):
I mean, who would want to marrythis?
And my mom's just kind of gonnaspoon feed me, and then she's
gonna die, and then I'm gonnahave some caregiver just kind of
keep me alive, and my life'sover.
And this all unfolds, you know,in a few seconds playing out of
my head.
Medical trainers, doctors comeover, they're saying, Robert,
(17:58):
can you move this?
Can you feel anything?
And my answer is just no,nothing.
Get over to the hospital, x-ray,CT scan, MRI, to cut my jersey
off my body.
Um, it's up in my house in theroom, actually, now stitched
together.
And uh, my doctor comes back,he's got a bad look on his face.
And very frankly, he says,Robert, you will never walk
(18:21):
again.
You will never move your hands.
We're gonna do our best so thatone day you can do something
like pick up a piece of pizzaand bring it to your face.
And if you can do that, you madeit.
If you can just feed yourself,you beat all the odds.
So I'm sitting here in ahospital bed, can't move or feel
anything below my neck.
And that morning, I thought itwas gonna be the best day of my
(18:42):
life, the day I become anational champion.
And now I don't even know ifit's gonna be my last day or
not.
And in that moment, I didn'thave a lot of choices, but I
knew one thing, and that's thatI just had to give everything I
have to get everything I can getout of this injury.
And my doctor finishes theconversation by recommending I
(19:05):
go into emergency spinal fusionsurgery.
Um, he explains that the disc inbetween my C5, six vertebrae
ruptured into my spinal cord andI had fracturing at my C4, five,
and six vertebrae.
And the damage would onlycontinue unless we really
stabilize this region.
So spinal fusion surgery isnumber one.
Number two was a halo drilledinto my skull to try and get my
(19:25):
spine to set and heal.
And he told me this was apotentially life-threatening
surgery.
And I had about 30 minutes todecide whether or not I wanted
to go into this thing becausetime was pretty critical at this
point.
So, first phone call I make isto my um spiritual director,
same guy I was talking aboutearlier.
And I tell him about whathappened, and I want him to send
(19:46):
a priest over before I go intothe surgery.
And he gives me this amazingadvice that just gave me so much
power in what was a powerlesssituation.
And he said, Robert, throughoutthis journey, there's gonna be a
lot of things that you can'tcontrol, but the one thing you
always have control over is yourmindset.
So your positivity, yourambition, your willingness to
(20:07):
take on this challenge every dayand fight is up to you.
And this injury can't take thataway from you.
And that just it gave mesomething I could focus on and
something I could controlbecause I had I didn't have the
odds on my side.
I did not have some doctorsaying that everything was going
to be okay.
I had no signs of life showingback up in my body, but I had my
(20:30):
mindset and I had that decisionthat we all have at every second
of our lives to just keep movingforward.
So that gave me a lot ofconfidence to go into the
surgery, that I can block outthat emotion and that anxiety of
the moment, really singularlyfocus on that one thing I can
(20:50):
control.
Just do I go into surgery or doI not?
Um, gave me that clarity to beable to go into there.
And I remember just saying myprayers with my family, and I
said goodbye to them.
And I got rolled into thatoperating room.
They they put the anesthesiamask over me, and I count down
from a hundred, you know, downto zero.
I think I got to 98 and uhclosed my eyes and that
(21:13):
concluded the day, May 6, 2017,for me.
SPEAKER_02 (21:18):
Wow.
What a whirlwind.
Unbelievable.
And what a testament to so manythings as well.
A testament to everybody to oneembrace every day that we do
(21:39):
have and express appreciationand gratitude for the smallest
things that we may often takefor granted.
So many times we hear aboutpeople that may have to complain
about a long walk.
(22:00):
Or they didn't park close enoughto the grocery store, and they
had to walk all the way back tothe cart stand.
Imagine if that was taken fromyou, how much you would love to
have the longest walk in theworld.
Another thing, a testament tothe power of the mind, and no
(22:22):
matter what, no matter what maybe taken from us, even the
ability to walk, what can't betaken from us are our core
values, our beliefs, our mentalability to recreate an entirely
(22:42):
new scenario.
So that's what I think about.
And Rob, being a competitor andplaying rugby at the premier
program in the country, I knowyou love winning.
I know that you love to defyodds if someone says you guys
(23:07):
can't beat this team.
No, we're gonna beat this team,and I'm gonna show you exactly
how we're gonna do it.
I'm gonna take it right to you.
At what point from hearing thedoctor's diagnosis, the initial
diagnosis, that you're not gonnawalk again, to then having the
discussion with your spiritualdirector, are you then having
thoughts of, alright, I'm gonnabeat this thing, I'm gonna find
(23:31):
a way to make these legs moveagain sometime someday?
And I'm not gonna create thisreality of I'm sitting in a
chair all day long and nobody'sgonna love me, nobody's going to
want to be around me.
At what point does that dialoguestart taking place?
SPEAKER_00 (23:52):
Yeah, it's a hope that I was really always holding
on to.
Um and it was it was as simpleas I remember I got strapped
into the gurney and brought intothe ambulance on my way over to
the hospital.
He's kind of telling me what'sgonna happen when I get there
and ask if I have any questions.
The first thing I ask, onlything I ask is, Am I going to
(24:14):
walk again?
And he says, I don't know.
And that honestly gave me alittle bit of hope that it
wasn't a flat out no that therewere people out there.
There, there was some, be itextremely small possibility that
I could beat this.
And I didn't have to be in thatstatistical range, which is
(24:37):
probably like 98, 99%, that Iwouldn't get any better, that
this would just kind of be mypermanent, my permanent reality.
And I think so much of that camefrom that like competitors
mindset, from that foundationthat had really been built in me
in athletics, because being ableto play for the Cal Rugby team,
(24:58):
we were not taught to acceptmediocrity for our team, for
ourselves as players.
We were taught to be the bestversions of ourselves that we
could possibly be.
I learned that at Cal Rugby.
I also played for the number onehigh school program in the
nation for for rugby over inSacramento Jesuit High School,
very much similar mindset.
It was just we are going to bethe best.
(25:20):
We are not going to acceptanything less that we have to
push to be the best versions ofourselves.
So if if there was some smallchance that I could beat this
thing, it had to be me.
I was gonna go for it.
And I think so much of that wasjust like knowing I you don't
know how hard I'm willing towork.
And you don't know those timeswhen you know we're 78 minutes
(25:43):
into this rugby match, we'regoing down to the wire, and I
just I can't even fathom likeputting my foot in front of the
other.
Um, but I do it again and I doit again, and I take it a big
tackle.
Or, you know, those times whenit's like, okay, time to wake up
at 5 a.m.
to go run hill sprints with theteam, like little things like
that.
It just builds this fortitudewithin you to where you start
building that confidence aboutyourself that you can put forth
(26:06):
an extraordinary amount ofeffort and dedication that the
studies just haven't seen.
Um, I just I believed in that.
And uh also knew that in the endof the day, whatever happens, if
it's outside of my control, Ihave to have some willingness to
be able to let go of that.
But what I could not accept isthat I didn't do everything that
(26:27):
I could.
I couldn't put my head on thepillow at the end of the day,
knowing that I didn't just layit all out there and give
everything I had to overcomethis.
So it was more just like, okay,let's push that away.
I don't need that negativity inmy mindset right now because it
will absolutely crush me and myability to move forward.
What is something that I can do?
And uh was fortunate that thatonce I got out of that surgery
(26:49):
situation, that I could finallystart focusing on those just
little things, even if it's justlike breathe, eat.
If that's what I need to do toget better, that's what I'm
gonna focus on, and just pourabsolutely everything I have
into it, just like I did when Iwas an athlete.
SPEAKER_02 (27:03):
I feel like one of the best things that a
competitor, a seriouscompetitor, and someone with an
indomitable or unshakablemindset can hear is the word no.
And I've redefined it as no noas new opportunity.
Like there is no no.
(27:25):
Meaning when we really wantsomething, it's never a matter
of if, it's simply a matter ofwhen.
Because we're not gonna stop, nomatter the circumstances.
And I can only imagine hearingthat and then just thinking I am
gonna prove you wrong, and Idon't care if it takes two
thousand eight hundredeighty-six days or five thousand
(27:47):
days, gosh darn it, I'm gonnawalk unassisted someday, and you
know, you're you're making thosethose literally those steps
every single day.
Post surgery, as I'm sure thisstarts to sink in as okay, this
is like now you're reallyfeeling how different life is.
(28:11):
Talk through those those earlythose earliest moments, and
maybe even the first few days,weeks, months post-surger,
because there were additionalcomplications from there, but
now your new reality is okay,hey, you can't move right that
that much yet.
(28:33):
What is that like?
SPEAKER_00 (28:35):
Yeah, that that's when it got most difficult.
Um, because I think anybody canbe paralyzed for a day or a week
or probably even a month.
Um, but as it keeps adding upand you have that uncertainty
looming in front of you, that'swhen that real mental battle
settles in.
And, you know, I wake up fromthe surgery totally just
(28:56):
blurry-eyed, super groggy, um,but like really hoping that I
would wake up and they wouldjust find this absolute medical
anomaly that would help me tojust like wake up and I'm fine.
And uh, it wasn't the case.
So I'm kind of like, okay,yesterday wasn't a bad dream.
This was real.
And I had a new doctor come inand he was a little bit more
(29:16):
optimistic.
He's like, your injury is quitesevere, Robert, but you do have
some things going for you.
Your athletic background's huge.
Like the one we just talkedabout, like that mindset, that's
like the biggest component.
Number two, healthy body.
I had some headwinds that weregoing to come my way, and my
body would be more prepared totake that on.
Um, I was young, you know, mynervous system's still
(29:38):
developing.
That's good for thatregeneration.
And uh, really strong supportsystem, amazing family, amazing
friends, my team right therewith me, just like tens and tens
and tens of players in thelobby, just waiting for that
first moment they can come inthe door and see me.
Um, I had a lot of positivesgoing for me.
So that really helped, but Ineeded it because I got
pneumonia, and that's dangerousfor anybody, right?
(30:00):
But I couldn't cough.
I I couldn't like breathe on myown.
My diaphragm was mostlyparalyzed.
Um, so if something got stuck inmy windpipe, I could not cough
it out.
I would just sit there chokingon it.
And then we get someone to likeslam down on my lungs to try and
move this out just so I canstart breathing.
And remember the first time Itried to eat something, you
know, I swallow and it just getsstuck like right in my windpipe.
(30:22):
And there I am.
I can't cough it out.
And like, oh goodness, you know,you can't eat.
So they shove a tube up my noseand down to my stomach.
Um, it took three days to get inthere because I broke my nose so
many times playing rugby.
And I talk about pain.
I don't know if you ever did oneof those COVID tests where it
feels like it's poking yourbrain.
Um, I mean, that that timestimes a hundred, right?
This thing's going all the waydown to my stomach.
(30:45):
Um, and I just and it, but Ikept going back to that like
control your mindset piece thatwhen they're shoving this tube
up my nose for an hour, blood'sgoing down my throat into my
mouth.
I mean, I'm just like, I'm justcrying.
Um, can't couldn't grip thesheets even if I wanted to, but
man, what you know, what I have.
And uh, you know, for thesebreathing treatments, the
(31:06):
pneumonia, they had to wake meup every three hours to start
pumping down on my lungs.
Every two hours, someone wouldcome in to rotate my body so I
didn't get a skin sore.
And every one hour, someonewould come come in to check on
my vital signs, make sure I wasdoing okay medically.
I didn't sleep.
I mean, it was like it was likebuds, it's like Navy SEAL
training.
I mean, just absolute sleepdeprivation, um, you know, very
(31:28):
physically challenging for me.
And uh, and but the mentalmental component above all of
that, but what kept me going wasthat control your mindset piece.
It's like, do you want to eat ornot?
Yes, let them shove this tubedown your nose.
Do you want to breathe or not?
Yes, go into another breathingtreatment, whether it's 3 p.m.
or 3 a.m.
(31:49):
You have to do it.
And uh, and that that kept memoving forward through that
period.
And um, I mean, yeah, I neededit.
And I got I got through that,and then eventually could
finally start doing some rehab.
And uh, I mean, just I rememberhow excited I was to really just
be like, okay, I got throughthat medical period and like now
(32:09):
I'm in the game.
This is where it gets fun.
Um, definitely had a strong doseof humility.
I mean, I remember the first PTexercise I ever did was going
from laying on my back to layingon my side.
And I mean, we're talking justlike just 15 minutes of trying
as hard as I can to fling whatcontrol I had in my arms over
and hopefully take that momentumto bring me over.
(32:31):
So, you know, if you would haverewinded just a couple weeks
ago, I'd be putting 405 poundson my back and squatting it, um,
you know, or running a rugbyfield for for 80 minutes.
And uh, you know, here I am justtrying to go from my back to my
side in a laying position.
But again, it's kind of likecontrol that minds, your
mindset.
What can I control?
(32:52):
If this is the task I need totake on right now, this is what
I'm going to do.
Um, so did I fight thosethoughts of like, why me?
Why am I going through this?
Heck yes, absolutely.
Um, but when I could like be inthe action, it kind of faded.
And it was like, I'm just here,another athlete with my coach,
(33:12):
you know, physical therapist,and um, and and we're getting
after it.
So that really helped me tofocus down on what I needed to
do to get better and get throughthose tough moments.
SPEAKER_02 (33:22):
I want to talk about your perspective on embracing
the small victories.
And as I was looking throughyour earlier videos and and
following your journey, youdescribed that at the time, one
of the best days of your life,or it felt like one of the best
(33:43):
days of your life, was when youcould wiggle your toe just a
little bit.
Like the most minuscule moment,movement, something that I'm
sure before May 6th, you wouldhave never thought twice about.
That, all right, I move my toes,I move people around a rugby
field, but now something assimple as moving your toes is
(34:06):
equated to one of the bestfeelings you've ever had.
What's your perspective aroundus embracing the little things
in life and using that as fuelto continue moving forward?
SPEAKER_00 (34:23):
Oh my gosh, it's so important.
And uh I think it's one ofthose, when we talk about those
gifts that come out ofadversity, it's definitely one
of the biggest gifts I'vereceived is just being able to
keep track of those littlethings I have in my life.
Um, because yeah, like if I waswiggling my toes, I mean, I
wouldn't even give it a thought.
And uh, you know, here I mean, Iwas literally moved to tears by
(34:46):
not even like not just not likeplaying the piano with my toes
here, like I mean, I'm justflickering one toe.
And uh I remember because I itwas about six weeks it took me
to get that flicker of movement.
And I mean, I would just stareat those bad boys trying to get
them to move.
And it was Father's Day actuallyin June of 2017 when I got just
(35:07):
that little wiggle of movement,and uh and I mean immediately
like tears run down my face.
And I'm thinking, I was toldthat this would never happen,
and I can finally wiggle a toe.
And I just thought back of like,you know, around that time, like
my buddies and and everyone atCal was like going through
(35:28):
finals.
So they're all you knowcomplaining.
You ask them, hey, how's yourday going?
Oh, not good.
You know, I'm uh, you know, I'vejust been in the library for
like eight hours today, and Idon't know what's gonna happen
for this final.
And uh, and I'm just thinking,like, here I am, and I'm crying
because I was able to wiggle mytoe right now.
(35:49):
It's just like such a differentworld.
And don't get me wrong, if Ididn't break my neck, I would
have been probably complainingabout those finals too.
Um, it's almost like I kind ofwoke up from a from a sleep that
you know, this mask had beentaken over my off my eyes and uh
could was just brought into thisentirely different world that
showed me just how amazing anormal day is.
(36:10):
Um, I mean, I think we just letthose normal days just kind of
pass by us over and over andover again in our lives.
Um, and it's not until somethinglike this happens where you can
really realize how lucky youare.
And uh, yeah, it's like there'sa common saying like that,
right?
Like you don't know what youhave until you don't have it
anymore.
And I think that's just theabsolute worst saying we could
(36:31):
ever live by.
Why should we wait to losesomething before we actually
start showing appreciation forit?
And you don't have to go throughwhat I've gone through to have
that perspective in your life.
You just have to have empathyand you have to be able to look
at the struggles that others gothrough, have that perspective
(36:51):
point to compare what you gothrough right now, and realize
what you have, be grateful forwhat you have, and just have
that general awareness of whenyou find yourself complaining
about something.
Because oftentimes we complainabout something that we would
mourn if we lost it.
So you think about someone like,oh, you know, I gotta go on
this, you know, I'm gonna go runthis 5K today or whatever, and
(37:14):
like I'm super sore.
Um you know, like what are youcomplaining about?
Like, what if you couldn't dothat?
You you I mean, you'd you'd bean absolute mess if you couldn't
run that 5k.
So why are you complaining aboutit?
I don't know.
It's like it it gets on mynerves now when I when I think
about little little things likethat, those little complaints in
our lives.
So it comes down to the sayingum that's really helped me to
(37:37):
have that like quick perspectiveshift.
And I it's called compared towhat.
So just be like, wow, I'm reallytired, but compared to what?
Or there's a lot of hardshipthat I'm going through right
now, but compared to what?
There's a lot that I can do.
There's a lot that I do have.
So I think that's a that's agood tool for us all to have in
our tool belt that compared towhat, to when we find ourselves
(38:00):
having those little complaintsabout life, to just run that
through through our mind,realize just how lucky we are to
have all those little things,those little victories that we
have in our lives.
Um, because they are gifts andthose things can be taken away.
So appreciate them every secondyou have them, uh, because
you're so lucky.
SPEAKER_02 (38:17):
I love that compared to what.
And you bring up a great point,and of and it makes me think of
something that I've heardrecently from Sahel Bloom.
He just wrote the five types ofwealth and got to have a uh
conversation with him a fewweeks ago.
And one thing he brought up isthat we often complain about the
(38:39):
very thing that we prayed andwished for most in life.
Wow.
So think about people that thathave families and a baby.
You you pray that you can have ahappy and healthy baby, and then
you complain about how much itcries and how much of a nuisance
(39:03):
it is in your life.
And this is the very thing thatyou wished for.
Yeah.
Or the dog, or just hey, itpeople I would imagine if we
could if we could heareverybody's prayers, that
somewhere in there that they'repraying to to again live a live
(39:24):
a happy and healthy life.
That's mixed in there somehow.
And then we're gonna complainabout going back a few minutes
ago, how far we have to walk toget to our car.
It's interesting, but I lovethat.
I'm gonna start mentioning thatto people, the compared to what,
because that's an instant,instant shift we can create and
(39:50):
uh get us back to center.
Like, hey man, we have a lot, wehave a lot of great things going
for us right now.
Gotta look for a minute, removeourselves from the situation,
and zoom out just slightly, andyou'll see it.
What have been some of the asyou reflect back on this
journey, Rob, what have been, inaddition to moving your toes,
(40:13):
some of the most victorious orrewarding moments that you've
experienced thus far?
SPEAKER_00 (40:20):
Yeah, there's been so many.
And uh I just to like runthrough the big ones, um, so to
like update everyone on just howamazing this recovery's gone.
So I went from you know, nomotion at all below my neck,
can't breathe, can't eat, cryingwhen I'm wiggling a toe, to
where I spent a year in Coloradoat a hospital and I walked out
(40:41):
of those hospital doors in mywalker, and I now have almost
full motion in my upper body andmy fingers.
Um, I can walk 400 yards in mywalker now, and I stay on that
grind every day to get more.
And I went back to UC Berkeleyand I graduated and I walked
across that stage to get mydiploma from the number one
(41:03):
public university in the world.
And sorry for the UCLA fans outthere.
We can talk about the number onerankings later.
Um, but uh, I mean, huge momentsin my life, right?
And uh I think the one that Idraw that I draw back to and
continues to inspire me is whenI took my first steps, like in a
harness and everything.
(41:24):
Um, so I go to this awesomehospital over in Colorado, and
totally different outlook whenthey talk to me.
I mean, these guys were awesome.
And they're like, Robert, whathappened to you is terrible, but
we don't know where you're gonnaprogress from here.
I mean, you might walk intothese doors one day, and you
very well might not, but we'regonna give you everything we've
got.
(41:44):
And I remember when I I wiggledthat toe, it was a few days
later that if I were laying onmy back, I could lift my knee up
just a few inches off of themat.
And they saw that and they'relike, we're gonna get you
walking.
And I'm like, hold on.
Like, I can wiggle a toe andkind of like move my knee a
little bit.
Uh, I don't I don't understandlike how this translates to
(42:06):
walking.
Um, but that's where theirgenius really came in.
And I remember they had meessentially connected to a winch
that's connected to a track inthe ceiling to prevent me from
falling down and I can move backand forth.
Room probably went like 50 yardsin a straight line, and I was in
this really heavy-duty walker,and uh had a therapist behind
(42:26):
me, kind of like on a rollingstool.
So they're they're like holdingon to my knees to keep me locked
out, but I'll kind of guide myfeet if I could get in this
walking motion.
And uh, I mean, gosh, right?
I just can't even explain howbadly you want to walk when you
lose that ability to walk.
And, you know, for for weeks or,you know, at this point,
probably like a couple months.
(42:47):
Um, I mean, it was justconstant.
It's all I saw.
I'd watch a movie and I wouldn'teven be thinking about the plot.
I'd just be thinking about how aperson just stood up from a park
bench.
Like I wanted it so badly andprayed for that moment to just
have the chance to walk.
And here I was, hoisted up intothe ceiling, um, you know, leg
supported so I can be in thatstanding position for the first
(43:09):
time.
And uh, and then, you know, Ikind of got that green light.
Here's my moment.
And I remember my physicaltherapist saying, All right,
Rob, right knee forward.
And I just I grip my teeth, youknow, squinting my eyes,
grunting like everything I canto get this right knee forward,
and uh, and it just like pops,boom, forward.
(43:30):
And uh, you know, we're all kindof shocked.
It's like, all right, plant itinto the ground.
I do everything I can to likeput that heel firm into the
ground.
Okay, left leg, like everythingI have, everything I have, just
dumping it all into getting thisknee forward, boom, it goes,
plant it, right leg, plant it,left leg, plant it.
And I mean, I am like drenchedin sweat, just like screaming.
(43:54):
I mean, like the whole room canhear me uh just going nuts on
this thing.
It takes me two hours.
To go that 50 yards and back.
And I look back at those videos,and um, I mean, it was just like
one of the proudest moments I'veever had in my life that I like
I took those first steps.
(44:15):
And I remember after after myrehab for that day, I just went
back into my room and I justwept.
I mean, just crying.
I was so grateful to just havethat chance to give everything I
have and just go 50 yards downand back.
Um, and I, you know, I never tryto forget that, just like how
badly I wanted that at thatmoment.
(44:37):
And I try to take that, youknow, into my workouts that I do
now, and uh, and just everyendeavor I have to just have
that kind of absolute gratitudeand aggression for what I'm
doing at the moment.
SPEAKER_02 (44:48):
That's beautiful.
And yeah, I've loved watchingyour videos and and seeing the
journey and even seeing youstanding up with your wife and
the beach in Hawaii and andmaking progress on your journey
there.
One thing I'm curious about isthe dream, Rob, that okay, hey,
(45:10):
we we can walk and rununassisted, and and and if so,
is that being tracked at thatoverall big milestone, or are
you chasing, or do you createlittle milestones along the way?
Like, for instance, are yougoing towards the big thing
(45:30):
right now, or are you goingtowards let's get to 600 yards,
800 yards?
Like, do you break it out?
SPEAKER_00 (45:38):
You have to.
Yeah, you absolutely have tohave both.
Um, and so this is kind of likeall like in constructing my my
vision and my goals.
So I think in goal setting, youdo have to have those two
things.
You have to have thatoverarching vision, that end
destination that you want toreach.
Try to quantify it as much asyou can.
For me, really tough in mysituation.
So, for that ultimate vision,that's all I thought about in
(46:01):
the beginning, right?
And that ultimate vision for mewas to never need to use my
wheelchair again.
So one day I will stand up outof this thing.
I will never sit back down.
And I don't really care ifthat's like with a walker or
crutches or unassisted, however,that looks, obviously, if I can
get to unassisted, that's likethe ultimate.
But really, just to bewheelchair independent was my
(46:23):
goal.
And so that's like, you know,pie in the sky.
That's what gets you up out ofbed in the morning, something
that's a big stretch goal.
Um, I mean, at the time of myinjury, it was probably, I mean,
easy less than 1% that thatwould ever happen for me.
But it was kind of like the dumband dumber question, like, so
you're saying there's a chance.
I mean, I was just like, ifthere's any possibility, I'm
(46:44):
going for it.
And uh, you know, like I saidearlier, when you lose your
ability to walk, there's nothingmore that you want.
So that was a that was a greatgoal for me to have.
And uh, but I had to break itdown from there.
And I took the took thisleadership class at UC Berkeley,
the professor's name is DanMoulhorn, and um, and he has a
good way of explaining it.
That was really the way that Ibroke this down to and continue
(47:05):
to use it to this day, isthinking from right to left.
So if we think of like a timecontinuum, we you know it's like
the way that we read.
We have our current reality onthe left, and then as we move to
the right, we're in the future.
And a lot of the times when weconstruct our goals, I think,
okay, we were like focus a loton the little steps, and then we
kind of like lose sight of thatlarger vision.
(47:27):
Um, we need to spend the bulk ofour time in the in the beginning
really thinking about where wewant to be and then deconstruct
from that point.
So we think from right to left,from future to present.
So, what do I need to be able todo before I'm wheelchair
independent?
Well, I think one of the laststeps that there's gonna be for
me is really be able to likewalk a mile straight.
(47:50):
I'm gonna need to be able to atleast walk one mile straight
with no rest.
So I have to be able to do that.
Before that, I'm going to beable to need to get myself up
off the ground.
That's a big deal for someonewith a mobility impairment.
You know, before that, I'm gonnabe able need to be able to go
from like like a one kneeposition to getting my leg up
and supporting myself into thestanding position.
(48:13):
Before that, I'm gonna be gonnaneed to be able to stand up from
a couch.
Before that, I need to be ableto stand up from my bed.
You kind of see how the processworks here.
Everything is predicated fromthat ultimate vision, then
getting down to my currentreality, which I always have had
to also be very in tune with,because I met a lot of people
who are like, I'm not aquadriplegic.
(48:34):
This just isn't me.
I'm going to walk out of thishospital in all month.
And because they weren't in tunewith where they were, they
weren't able to get where theywanted to go.
They just didn't realize howmuch effort it was really going
to take and uh and the luck thatthey needed to have on their
side too.
Um, so I was in tune with that.
So in the beginning, it waslike, I need to be able to
(48:55):
breathe and I need to be able toeat.
So I think that's a good way tolike break down those like
overarching goals that we wantto achieve.
But then it's also important tohave like daily goals that we
can achieve.
Because for me right now, youknow, I can walk 400 yards.
It's not easy to like doubleyour volume when you start
getting into kind of like those,like you're really stretching
(49:17):
yourself that far.
Um, so like my goal is to get onmy feet every single day.
That's something I can do.
Um, want to make sure I'm out ofbed by 7:15 every morning.
That's something that I can do.
I can have that victory.
And it's putting me on thattrack to achieving all those
goals that I have along the way.
So that's that's how I wouldrecommend someone set their
(49:39):
goals.
Spend a lot of time on the frontend thinking about that ultimate
vision, get some pen and paperout, thinking from right to
left, how you the milestonesthat you knew to achieve, and
then give yourself some dailygoals too, so that you can keep
yourself on track, keepaccomplishing those things that
you need to do to get to thatultimate vision.
SPEAKER_02 (49:57):
The right to left framework is really useful
because you've got your ideal inmind.
And then the way I've alwayslooked at that is if we are
gonna get to the far right, whatmust be true?
Okay.
Well, if we're gonna bewheelchair independent, what
must be true?
Well, I must be able to get outof bed.
What must be true for me to getout of bed, and you keep going
(50:19):
that way?
I find it to be more fun to takethe right to left approach,
actually, versus yeah,traditional thinking, or not to
say it's flawed, but traditionalis okay, we're gonna go left to
right.
Well, right to left, I believe,makes the end goal even more
feel even more real, or likewe've already, you know, we're
(50:41):
like we're getting there.
There's there's no right,there's no option, right?
Rob, if we break down the theroot cause of why you are where
you are right now.
And you mentioned that on May6th, you were going in to push
(51:02):
your teammates forward.
And players came in and didillegal moves, weren't called,
ultimately resulting in whereyou are right now.
The from what I understand, theman that had you in a headlock,
(51:23):
you've never heard from himtoday.
Eight years later.
And you talked about forgivenessbefore we got started.
What role has forgiveness playedon this journey?
And what would you have to sayto this man if he ever connected
(51:48):
with you in the future?
SPEAKER_00 (51:50):
Yeah, forgiveness has been critically important
through this journey and easilyone of the most difficult things
that I've gone through.
Um because my instinct as arugby player was when someone
hits you back, you hit them backharder.
And you know, there's kind oflike two forms of justice on the
rugby field.
There's a referee blowing hiswhistle, and then there's
(52:13):
justice that we enact with ourshoulders.
And uh, and I mean, I was a bigguy, I was a physical guy.
And uh, if someone put a cheapshot on me, you know I was gonna
let them know that they can't bedoing that.
Um, so here I'd been put on myback, and there was nothing I
could do about it.
And I just remember being inthat hospital and I couldn't
breathe, I couldn't eat, I'mfighting for my life.
(52:35):
I literally have had I had atreatment where my respiratory
therapist, we filled out, wefilled up what was like probably
two cups worth of phlegm from mylungs, and the whole time he's
just saying, This is bad, thisis bad.
And he's walking out in theroom, and the last thing he says
is, You're in trouble, Robert,and he just goes.
And I would think of momentslike that, and it's like, I'm
(52:58):
not in this situation because Iwas doing something stupid, you
know, like drunk driving, or um,you know, just like those, those
like just stupid flukes thathappen.
It's like, no, I was trying toachieve great greatness in my
life, and someone made anillegal move um wrapping me
around my neck, and I was, Imean, I was looking at just flat
out empirical evidence.
(53:18):
I mean, pictures, videos frommultiple angles that I was
driven by my neck, driving myskull into the turf, which
essentially slammed my foreheadagainst my chest and caused all
of this.
And um, I mean, just the initialhatred I had in my heart, I just
I can't even explain it.
Um so immediately it kind ofcame down to like a moral
(53:39):
dilemma sort of question for me.
Like we started about in thebeginning of this conversation,
faith, very important to me.
And this is something that thiswas a teaching that I knew was
very clear.
So that really helped me makethat initial step of just kind
of knowing what's what I neededto do.
And in the beginning, it was anabsolute fake it till you make
it kind of thing.
And people would ask me, Rob,what do you think about this
(54:01):
guy?
And no matter how much rage Iwas feeling internally, I would
just say, I forgive him and Iwish him well.
I forgive him.
And people, you know, they'd getinto it and it'd be like, Yeah,
I know it's bad, but I I forgivehim and I hope he's doing okay,
no matter what I felt.
And as time went on, as I saidthose words, it just kind of
(54:22):
slowly burned out that fire ofrage.
And I think that's a goodanalogy to think of it as that
process of forgiveness is like afire.
And initially somebody startsthat fire for us when we've been
wronged.
Um, but then they're gone andthey're not hanging out.
And we can keep dumping wood onthat fire and building onto that
(54:43):
rage as much as we want, and theonly person it's gonna burn is
us.
But over time, if we choose notto put fuel on that fire, to say
that we forgive them, to notactively engage in those
negative thoughts, it slowlyburns itself out, and then we're
finally free.
And I think like that's the truegift of forgiveness is that
(55:05):
freedom and liberation.
It's not just removing guiltfrom the person who did wrong,
it's removing all those negativeattachments from the person who
was wronged.
And I think if we can like justrealize first that it's always
what's best for us, and thenrealize it's a journey, and we
don't have to feel it internallyto be on that path of
(55:28):
forgiveness.
We can control what we say andwhat we actively engage in, and
it will over time eventuallycontrol the way that we think
and the way the way that wefeel.
It can take years, but it willmake a difference in your life,
and it is always the right thingto do.
Those are some really importantrealizations that there's not a
(55:49):
lot of generalizations we canmake in life, but one I'm
confident is that forgiveness isalways the answer.
So if this person did reach outto me, it would be that I'd
forgive him.
And, you know, it probablywouldn't be the longest
conversation.
I mean, I don't I don't think toforgive someone that you have to
be like best buddies with them.
Um, but you gotta you gottaeventually get to that path of
(56:12):
removing those negativeattachments and you can't go
around spreading rumors aboutthem or allowing those feelings
of hate um to control youractions.
Um, I would say that I forgivehim.
And I would have everything thatI've gone through in the back of
my mind, those moments when anurse was saying that I'm, you
know, I'm in trouble.
And when I'm getting tubesshoved up my nose and I'm not
(56:33):
getting a lick of sleepthroughout the day, and how it
was all because of his actions,those would all still exist with
me.
But beyond that would be thatvery intentional decision to
forgive that person.
And um, I'm just so happy I'vemade that choice because I'm
looking ahead of me.
I'm not looking back behind myshoulder over things that are in
the past and what other peopleare doing.
(56:54):
I'm thinking about myself andwhat I can control and just the
amazing things that I still havein front of me.
Um, so just like the such acritically important decision
that I've made and I've justI've learned so much from.
And um, you know, final thingI'll say to just wrap up
forgiveness is it doesn't haveto be people that we're
forgiving to.
It can also just be those timeswhen we feel like the world is
just against us and the universejust hates us.
(57:17):
We're looking up in the sky,like why to be able to let go of
those things too, to not givepower to those things that we
that bring us down.
That's that's kind of anotherform of forgiveness that we can
access in our lives.
Um, that I think we're that allof us are struggling with with
at some degree at any point inour lives, to just realize that
we have control over what we sayand that we'll eventually have
(57:37):
control over how we think andhow we feel.
SPEAKER_02 (57:40):
It's a very liberating feeling.
And one thing that an analogy Ilike to share is that
everybody's wearing a backpackin life, this this theoretical
backpack.
And often may not realize whatall is in the backpack, and when
(58:00):
then wondering why we may beupset so easily or angry or
mentally and emotionallyfatigued.
It's like, well, you're carryinga backpack full of bricks of
this person's memory and whatthey did to you five years ago,
and this limiting belief thatyou have.
(58:22):
And when we can flip thatbackpack over and in this case,
forgive somebody, you probablyshed you probably shedded a
dozens of bricks that you'recarrying around.
And what's interesting is thatwe talk about well rather,
(58:45):
what's interesting is that wecan paralyze ourselves with our
minds.
And not because we're carryingso many things around.
Your book Paralyze the Powerfulcomes out tomorrow, eight years
later, May 6th.
(59:06):
What are some keys to not allowus to paralyze ourselves?
And what's the ultimate aim withthis book that's out now?
SPEAKER_00 (59:22):
Yeah, yeah, it it's such a good way to view our
challenges as those things thatparalyze us.
Um, and like I realized thatvery early on that you know I
was paralyzed physically, but Ihad things that were paralyzing
me most emotionally andmentally.
And those are things that we alldeal with.
Um, and in overcoming thisjourney of physical paralysis,
(59:44):
I've gained a lot of tools thathave helped me to overcome those
things that paralyze us mentallyand emotionally.
Um, so I lay out 15 differenttools, and each chapter is one
of these tools in this bookthat's helped me throughout that
journey.
Um, you know, things like we'vediscussed in here, like
perspective and uh and likevision.
Um, but I want to go back towhat's something that we talked
(01:00:07):
about earlier that I think is soimportant because I think it's I
think it's one of the biggest,and it is that selfless
commitment.
And um, and the way it startedfor me is it was about five days
into my injury.
I'm hanging out there.
Um, but maybe a little contextis that I used to coach youth
rugby camps when I was playingover at Cal, come back to
Sacramento.
Adrian's just like 10 to 14years old for the campers, and
(01:00:29):
um this one camper's name's namewas Talon, and he was like
really he was a smaller playerout there, but he had heart and
everyone just kind of rooted forhim.
And I would give him a ball sohe could go score.
And, you know, imagine me, likeD1 athlete.
I'd pick him up and I'm like6'5, and everyone else is like
(01:00:49):
up to my hips, and I'm likebobbing and weaving in between
them so Talon can have hismoment.
And we had this real bond.
And, you know, go back to fivedays after my injury, my high
school is hosting a prayerservice for me.
They're praying for my healingand they're praying for my
strength.
And then my dad shows me apicture on his phone of someone
who I can't recognize, but he'sa kid probably around 15 years
(01:01:10):
old, who's obviously fightingfor his life, and his hair is
very white and thin, his body'sjust like skin and bones, skin
is super pale.
And my dad tells me this kid isTalon, and Talon was fighting
stage four cancer.
And this picture was accompaniedby a caption that his mom wrote,
and it read along the lines ofTalon wanted so badly to be at
(01:01:33):
the prayer service to pray forRobert today.
But he's in the hospitalundergoing chemotherapy, and um,
he's wearing his Jesuit rugbyshirt that the team gifted him
in his first round of chemo.
It's his goal that when he beatshis cancer, he wants to go play
rugby.
And Robert inspired him to dothat.
But it closes with this sentencethat's just seared into my soul,
(01:01:54):
and it changed everything forme.
And it said, Stay strong andkeep smiling, Robert.
Your strength helps talent staystrong too.
Tears just pour down from myface because I realized in that
moment that overcoming thisinjury is not about me.
It's about him, it's about allthose people who are inspired
(01:02:15):
when I choose to fight anotherday.
And um, I mean, here we aretoday on the you know, the win
today podcast.
We're talking about how I'm onday 2886 today, and I'm very
intentional about making mygoals happen on those days and
not letting a day just let meby.
And my goal is to be able towalk again and all that, but
(01:02:40):
that's not what's motivated thisme this many years, because
there is a very possible, infact, likely outcome that I will
never walk again, and I willspend the rest of my life trying
to get out of this wheelchair,but it's just never gonna
happen.
That's the statistics say thereis that is the far likely chance
(01:03:00):
that that will happen.
And I would be okay with thatbecause I would know that I've
helped people and that thisinjury didn't beat me,
wheelchair or not, because itdidn't break my spirit, it
didn't break my attitude, and init I was given an ability to
(01:03:21):
inspire people that I neverwould have had if I got up from
that mall.
And it's all rooted in thatselfless commitment, and we just
we must have that.
We must be working for someoneelse in our lives if we do want
to persevere.
It'll help us, it'll helpothers, but more than anything,
(01:03:43):
it gives us meaning and it givesus purpose in our lives, and and
it helps others.
And I go back to that kid talenta lot in my mind.
Um, he battled cancer for fouryears, and then he eventually
passed.
And he died a winner and he dieda fighter, and he's the greatest
example I've ever seen of whatit means to live with that
(01:04:04):
selfless commitment because herehe was, about 15 years old,
battling stage four cancer, andwhile he's undergoing chemo, he
wasn't thinking about himselfand he wasn't praying for
himself, he was thinking aboutme.
And his life ended far tooearly, but he did more than most
of us ever do with our lives inmaking an impact on others
(01:04:27):
because he lived that way.
So uh he's the greatest personI've I've ever known in my
entire life.
He is my absolute biggestinspiration, and I will spend
the rest of my life sharing hisstory and his fighter's spirit
um to fight not just forhimself, but but for others.
And um, and he's he's helped memore than than anyone I I could
(01:04:51):
ever know.
Um, just an amazing principle tolive by that that we all gotta
that we all gotta take to heart.
Amen.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:58):
To talent and it's my most sincere wish, Rob, that
what you just said there servesas an invitation and a call to
action to everyone listening todo something, one thing for one
(01:05:20):
person.
Because in that we'll nevertruly understand the impact that
we really have in this world.
Look at the story you justshared right there.
And now heck, I can go and tellthat story to others, but it
came down to one person, oneaction.
(01:05:44):
And doing something that'sbigger than ourselves.
Of course, we want to win inlife however we define winning
to be, and accomplish our goalsand I'm sure lead a family.
Do great things.
But one of the most rewardingthings that we could ever do in
(01:06:05):
this life is impact another lifepositively.
And it's my wish that that's theinvitation that you just gave us
right there.
And it's my second most sincerewish that people pick up the
book and absorb all of thelearnings and the lessons that
you've packed in there, and thatwe can truly experience all of
(01:06:27):
your wisdom, insights, andinspiration.
It's a closing tradition on thepodcast, Rob, to end with a
rapid fire session.
Envision that you and I aregoing out to lunch somewhere
cool in Northern California, andwe're going up three elevator
floors to have lunch on therooftop.
(01:06:48):
On each floor, somebody is goingto enter the elevator for one
floor, and they're going to getout, and they're going to
recognize you and they've got aquestion.
The amount of time you have toanswer the question is the
amount of time it takes to go upone elevator floor.
Alright?
So this is one gem, one step,one book.
So the first person enters theelevator.
(01:07:08):
Rob, what's one gem that youhave, whether it be a quote or a
mantra that you live your lifeby that I can put in my back
pocket and live my life by aswell?
SPEAKER_00 (01:07:19):
Yeah, it's I've done harder things.
So it's those little moments inlife that happen to us when
we're having a tough day, or inthose little things, like our
phone runs out of batteries,forgot your charger at home,
just be able to look at thethings that we've overcome, tell
ourselves we've done harderthings, and uh keep me foot
move, keep us moving forward.
I think we all need to rememberthat that we've done incredible
(01:07:40):
things in our lives.
SPEAKER_02 (01:07:41):
Yes, sir.
Next person gets on.
Rob, what's one step that I cantake today to not become
paralyzed by my own thoughts andmind?
SPEAKER_00 (01:07:53):
It's to start looking up inspirational
stories.
I think we all have to spendlike very conscious, deliberate
time looking up stories ofhardship so we don't get lost in
the minutia of life, but justrealize how much how much we
have that we can be gratefulfor.
Gotta gotta spend some timelooking up stories of hardship.
SPEAKER_02 (01:08:11):
Perfect segue into the last one of stories.
What's one book in addition toyours that we should pick up in
2025 to improve our mindsets?
SPEAKER_00 (01:08:24):
Man search for meaning by Victor Frankel.
Absolute stellar book.
Um, quote that I go back to alot from him is that anything
can be taken from a man but onething, the last of the human
freedoms, to choose one'sattitude in any given set of
circumstances.
We're talking um like major,major scientist here and
(01:08:44):
Holocaust survivor just layingout some incredible wisdom that
can benefit all of us.
SPEAKER_02 (01:08:49):
It's an absolutely incredible book.
Rob, it's been such such a joyand a privilege to have the
opportunity to interview you andhear your story.
How can we keep up with you andsupport you in addition to
getting a copy of the booktomorrow when it releases?
SPEAKER_00 (01:09:09):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So for the book, I'm gonna beavailable everywhere you buy
books, Amazon, Farns and Noble,um, all that stuff, doing an
audio book as well that I'mnarrating myself.
Um so look out for that,Paralyzed to Powerful, and on
social media.
Um I'm everywhere, you know,Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn,
Twitter, TikTok.
(01:09:29):
Um kind of got a monopoly on thename Robert Taylor.
So just look me up and umposting those daily daily
updates to keep people movingforward.
But just an absolute honor here,Brian.
I can't thank you enough forhaving me and uh yeah, excited
to connect with anybody whowould like to.
SPEAKER_02 (01:09:44):
So excited for you, Rod.
And again, truly appreciate theopportunity today, and the
opportunity for listeners toreally rethink how they view
life and take in moreappreciation for what is and all
(01:10:11):
the little things.
Really thoroughly inspired byyou and your work, and wish that
this serves as an invitation forpeople to serve others, embrace
life, take advantage of thelittle things, and express more
appreciation for the littlethings, not paralyze ourselves
(01:10:34):
and win today.
Thank you so much.
And then I just felt this god awful crunch in my
(00:02):
neck.
And then just oof.
Can't move anything.
Can't feel anything.
Totally clear and conscious inmy mind of what's going on, just
as clear and conscious as I amright now.
But 100% numb and emotionlessfrom my color bone down.
And in an instant, I knew that Ibroke my neck.
(00:27):
That this was really bad.
And there was like a 99.9%chance that my life had just
completely changed.
That I was in my worst nightmareand I was not going to wake up.
SPEAKER_01 (00:47):
Welcome to Win Today.
This show is crafted for thosewho want to win in every aspect
of their lives.
Every week you will learn from arenowned thought leader that
will share a piece of a winningplaybook that you can
incorporate into your life.
If this show has a positiveimpact on you and you see value
in it, please share it withsomebody and leave a rating and
review so we can help morepeople win.
(01:18):
Whether you're walking, sitting,scrolling on your phone,
multitasking, whatever the casemay be, sit with that for a
minute.
Because what you're doing rightnow is likely something that you
don't think twice about.
If you're walking, you'rewalking.
(01:40):
You don't think twice about it.
Once we learn how to walk andmove, that's what we do.
If you're scrolling on yourphone, you're using your hands,
you're using your arms, that'swhat you do.
We don't think about it.
Now imagine if that was strippedaway from you.
In an instant.
What would your life look like?
Imagine if you have highaspirations right now, which you
(02:02):
probably do if you're listeningto this.
And something happened thatcompletely altered the course of
where you're going.
We've got Rob Paler, whooriginally appeared on episode
199.
And this was one of the bestdiscussions I've had on this
podcast.
And the reason why this iscoming back is because I saw
something with Rob today.
(02:23):
This is 3,326 days after hebecame paralyzed from an
incident that you're about tohear about.
And he's delivering acommencement address in Seattle.
Standing up, something that hewas told he would never be able
to do again after a traumaticincident while he was playing
(02:46):
cali while he was playing rugbyat University of California,
Berkeley, moving his body, doingsomething that he probably
didn't think twice about, buthad trained and spent his whole
life doing to make it to the topof the sport into which it is
completely taken away from him,to where he is told he would
(03:09):
never be able to walk again oreven get up again.
And here we are, 3300 dayslater.
He is standing, he is inspiring,and he is defying what doctors
told him, and he's defying theodds.
I'm bringing this back becausethere's a lot of new folks that
(03:31):
have joined, but also asencouragement, and and I know
that at this time of year, thisis where things tend to slow
down for people, our minds tendto shift.
And we could all use uh someinspiration and continued uh
focus and fuel to keep goingeven though we're in the summer,
(03:53):
and that's why we're bringingback this discussion with Rob
Paler from paralyzed topowerful.
He is absolutely incredible.
And if you keep up with him,you'll see that not only has he
defied the odds, he just starteda family recently, and he takes
uh genuine pleasure in every dayin challenging his abilities, in
(04:21):
challenging what the doctorstold him about the rest of his
life, and flipping the script onan unfortunate circumstance and
turning it into a gift, not onlyfor himself, but for the world
to experience.
(04:50):
If you're sore from yesterday'sworkout, but you can still move,
Rob would trade you for that ina second.
If you're going throughsomething tough right now, but
you're still fully able to moveyour body and do everything
unassisted, someone like RobPaler would trade you for that
right now and not even thinktwice about it.
(05:12):
I'm wishing that this helpscreate some perspective,
inspiration, and gives you somefuel to challenge something.
Challenge some sort of statusquo or something that someone
said that you couldn't do oryou're not capable of.
(05:33):
I believe that's what you'regonna get after you experience
Rob Paylor.
SPEAKER_00 (05:38):
Rob, welcome, man.
Ryan, thank you for having me.
And uh uh the audio only peoplecan't see it, but I'm blushing
as red as a tomato from thatintro.
You got me fired up.
Very excited.
SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
Stoked to be with you.
Now, before we get in your storyand really dig into the
influence that you have onpeople around the world and to
really take full advantage oftheir lives, what's the most
important thing that we shouldknow about you that we might not
read about you on a piece ofpaper?
SPEAKER_00 (06:10):
Hmm, good one.
Um, I think the thing that isreally like my strongest
foundation uh is my faith.
And um it's something that'salways been a part of who I am
and has certainly changed overthese last eight years since my
injury happened.
And uh it's something that justit gives me purpose in my life.
(06:33):
It gives me meaning in my life.
And through all these crazychallenges I've been through and
just the immensity of the waysin which my life has changed,
has shown me that my challengesaren't for nothing, that all
this hardship I'm going throughis not meaningless, that it's
rooted in purpose.
There's a plan going on here,and I might not know what's
going on, but it's going tosomething good.
(06:54):
And it's been that trust andthat faith that's really helped
me go in here.
So that's something that's justit's really foundational to who
I am and uh has helped methrough everything I've gone
through.
SPEAKER_02 (07:05):
Did you ever question your faith after May
6th, 2017?
SPEAKER_00 (07:13):
You know, it's interesting.
It it matured a lot because I'mChristian and I was always
taught that God had a plan formy life.
I thought that plan was good.
And then, you know, we're gonnago into it more, of course, but
my life gets turned completelyupside down.
(07:34):
I go from being D1 athlete,national championship competitor
to I can't feed myself, I can'tbreathe, I can't go to the
bathroom by myself, and I mightnot ever be able to again if I
even survive through this.
And I'm like thinking about thatplan.
And I'm like, if this is a partof some plan, it's kind of
(07:55):
messed up.
I don't know what's going onhere.
Um, but I always had trust inthat.
That like I have no controlright now.
I have no control over my bodyand my outcomes.
Um, really, the only thing thatI still have here is that faith
and that trust and that plan.
So I stuck with it.
But it's interesting.
(08:16):
At first, I kind of like I wasso on board that I thought like
God destined me to get hurt.
And I was talking with like aspiritual director, and I was
kind of okay with that.
I was like, I could already seelike some of the fruits really
like being developed from thisand the impact it was making on
other people's lives.
Talking to my spiritual directorsaying, like, you know, I know
this was like, you know, Godwanted this to happen to me.
(08:38):
And he's like, stop.
God did not break your neck.
There was a person on that fieldwho broke the laws of the game.
He has free will, and he brokeyour neck.
But your strength, yourfortitude that you're gaining
from this, the inspiration thatit's providing to others, that's
God.
And that really helped me tomature to be to live out strong
(09:02):
faith isn't just to like takethe easy road and everything
that you do.
It's it's really the opposite.
It's to embrace your sufferingsfor the good of others.
And it really helped me flipthat perspective of suffering
being for something, oh my gosh,avoid that at all costs, to be
something like it's not going tobe easy, but there's a gift
(09:23):
within that for you and forothers.
So there was there was like thatmaturity process that really
came in my faith from all this,and it's just changed the way I
really see the world and and therole that suffering has in our
lives.
SPEAKER_02 (09:36):
I love what you say about seeing the gift that it
delivers.
And I believe it does takestrong faith to be able to see
that on the other side of amoment or a circumstance or a
series of events, there isalways a either better version
(10:00):
of yourself or a series ofbetter outcomes that you would
have never imagined, or a thenan inspiring story, but really
the the root of that, if youdon't have strong if you don't
possess a strong mindset andthat sense of core values, then
(10:26):
one may always see a negativeevent as simply that, or a
negative circumstance as simplythat, uh, and not be able to see
and experience the abundance ofgifts that life delivers.
I was sharing with you before westarted why all of this exists
(10:49):
and some of the things I sawgrowing up in California.
Best gifts I could have everreceived in this life that just
aren't packaged, they're justthey're just packaged a little
bit differently.
So what's your take on helpingpeople identify the gifts that
(11:12):
life packages a little bitdifferently for us?
SPEAKER_00 (11:17):
Yeah, it's interesting.
I mean, I think uh it it'salmost like cliche identifying
those gifts.
It's like no pain, no gain, youknow, those those kinds of
little sayings and stuff.
Um there's there's truth inthat.
And if we wake up every day andgo to sleep, put our pillow, our
head on the pillow, and thinklike, uh, I didn't do anything
(11:38):
to challenge myself today.
Um you really didn't grow andand you didn't like receive
gifts, those gifts of that day,if all you're doing is just kind
of like living for comfort andliving for yourself.
Um, I think it's good to thinkof those things in which we do
want to grow.
Um, and it it is good for thatto benefit ourselves.
I do, like we shouldn'tcompletely ignore that.
(11:59):
But I think the biggest reasonwe should be doing it is in
service of others.
And if we can take on achallenge, discomfort, growth in
our lives for the service ofothers, um, it's going to
endure.
It's going to hold us moreaccountable because it's not
like the only person who'sallowing us to say, not today,
(12:19):
I'm good, I'm going to take arest, is just our own internal
dialogue.
We're really responsible topeople or to a mission that's
bigger than ourselves.
Um, you know, here I am today onday 2886 after my injury
battling quadriplegia.
I continue to go each day, notjust so I can go from point A to
(12:39):
point B on my feet, but so thatI can provide inspiration to
others, help them overcome theirchallenges.
It gives me so much to whereit's just I can't quit and I
won't quit because I have thisbig commitment in our lives.
So I think it's finding thosetwo critical factors of it must
be uncomfortable and it mustserve others, is how we identify
those kind of those gifts thatmight be found in struggle.
SPEAKER_02 (13:03):
Let's rewind the clock 2886 days from today.
It's May 6th, 2017.
You're a D1 athlete at Calplaying rugby, the sport that
you love, and your life changesin an instant.
Walk us through that.
SPEAKER_00 (13:24):
Such a huge day.
And uh I was thinking about thisthis morning, actually.
Just like how certain days havecertain significances, you know,
birthdays, anniversaries, stufflike that.
And uh it's just amazing howmuch my life changed on this
day.
And like you said, D1 athlete,UC Berkeley, rugby player.
(13:44):
Just to give people somecontext, UC Berkeley is by far
the number one rugby program inthe nation.
At the time, we're fighting forour 31st national championship,
with the tournament only beingaround for about 45 years.
So you can look at any team atany level in America, and I
think the only team that hiresmore hardware than us in any
sport is the HarlemGlobetrotters.
(14:05):
And their games are rigged.
So, like, we're doing prettygood.
I'm excited.
I'm starting, I'm a sophomore.
This wasn't an easy or commonthing to do, to be starting on a
team like this in a game likethis as a sophomore.
So I absolutely love this game.
I love this university.
I'm getting into the businessschool there, got my dreams
after that.
It was just a really good timeto be me.
(14:26):
And I knew that.
I was very grateful for it.
And it was early on in this gamethat I'm competing in a mall,
which is one of the big guys, wegrew up in a single unit.
We start pushing to advance theball.
Defense's job is to comestraight in and stop us from
moving forward.
It's kind of like in footballwhen a running back gets stood
up and the linemen move thepile.
(14:46):
Like that.
We're just a little moreorganized about it.
And it was totally my moment.
I mean, 6'5 at the time, like245 pounds.
I'm just on this field to movebodies.
And we're five meters off fromscoring this thing.
I'm like drooling here,thinking, let's go, Rob, drive
this thing in.
And then as I'm doing that,these opposing players they
start making these illegalmoves, and referee's not calling
(15:10):
anything.
So I remember we're in a lineup,I bring the ball carrier down, I
throw my shoulders forward, andimmediately I get pressure from
the side, which is a penalty inrugby.
Can't do that, but the ref's notcalling it.
So, you know, things happen inrugby and you just got to keep
moving forward.
But this first player who comesin, he finds my head in a
(15:30):
headlock.
So he's got my chin kind ofpinned down to my chest.
And in rugby, that's anautomatic yellow or red card.
You do that, you're gone, butthe ref's not calling it.
And I keep pushing forward, Ikeep just kind of moving my
legs.
And another player comes in andhe chops me down by my legs.
So I start going down, and thisarm lock that's around my neck
that continues to improve.
(15:51):
I'm just muscles flexing in theforum.
I'm trying to fight upwards, butI just can't.
It's a it's a losing battle.
And I remember I just kind ofclosed my eyes, I grip my teeth
for impact, and then I just feltthis god-awful crunch in my
neck, and then just poof.
Can't move anything, can't feelanything.
Totally clear and conscious inmy mind of what's going on, just
(16:14):
as clear and conscious as I amright now, but 100% numb and
motionless from my collarbonedown.
And in an instant, I knew that Ibroke my neck, that this was
really bad, and there was like a99.9% chance that my life had
(16:36):
just completely changed, that Iwas in my worst nightmare, and I
was not going to wake up fromit.
Because I had you know, contactsports.
These things happen.
They're not they're not common,but they happen.
I remember I was like thinkingback to stories that I'd seen
like this.
The one I thought of at the timewas Eric Le Grand, and Eric was
(16:56):
a Rutgers football player and hewas on special teams, cervical
spinal cord injury, paralyzed.
And uh I mean, this guy's gotthe heart of a warrior.
I mean, he's amazing, and he'sgotten a lot more progress back
than he was supposed to, but youknow, he's he's a quadruplegic
and he's in a chair and heneeded to be on a vent for some
(17:16):
time just so he could breathe.
And I started thinking likethat's gonna be me.
Like, I might not even get asfar as he did.
And I just envisioned thisreality where I'm gonna just sit
in a house all day.
I won't go back to Cal.
I won't get my degree, I won'thave a job, nobody's gonna want
to marry me.
(17:37):
I mean, who would want to marrythis?
And my mom's just kind of gonnaspoon feed me, and then she's
gonna die, and then I'm gonnahave some caregiver just kind of
keep me alive, and my life'sover.
And this all unfolds, you know,in a few seconds playing out of
my head.
Medical trainers, doctors comeover, they're saying, Robert,
(17:58):
can you move this?
Can you feel anything?
And my answer is just no,nothing.
Get over to the hospital, x-ray,CT scan, MRI, to cut my jersey
off my body.
Um, it's up in my house in theroom, actually, now stitched
together.
And uh, my doctor comes back,he's got a bad look on his face.
And very frankly, he says,Robert, you will never walk
(18:21):
again.
You will never move your hands.
We're gonna do our best so thatone day you can do something
like pick up a piece of pizzaand bring it to your face.
And if you can do that, you madeit.
If you can just feed yourself,you beat all the odds.
So I'm sitting here in ahospital bed, can't move or feel
anything below my neck.
And that morning, I thought itwas gonna be the best day of my
(18:42):
life, the day I become anational champion.
And now I don't even know ifit's gonna be my last day or
not.
And in that moment, I didn'thave a lot of choices, but I
knew one thing, and that's thatI just had to give everything I
have to get everything I can getout of this injury.
And my doctor finishes theconversation by recommending I
(19:05):
go into emergency spinal fusionsurgery.
Um, he explains that the disc inbetween my C5, six vertebrae
ruptured into my spinal cord andI had fracturing at my C4, five,
and six vertebrae.
And the damage would onlycontinue unless we really
stabilize this region.
So spinal fusion surgery isnumber one.
Number two was a halo drilledinto my skull to try and get my
(19:25):
spine to set and heal.
And he told me this was apotentially life-threatening
surgery.
And I had about 30 minutes todecide whether or not I wanted
to go into this thing becausetime was pretty critical at this
point.
So, first phone call I make isto my um spiritual director,
same guy I was talking aboutearlier.
And I tell him about whathappened, and I want him to send
(19:46):
a priest over before I go intothe surgery.
And he gives me this amazingadvice that just gave me so much
power in what was a powerlesssituation.
And he said, Robert, throughoutthis journey, there's gonna be a
lot of things that you can'tcontrol, but the one thing you
always have control over is yourmindset.
So your positivity, yourambition, your willingness to
(20:07):
take on this challenge every dayand fight is up to you.
And this injury can't take thataway from you.
And that just it gave mesomething I could focus on and
something I could controlbecause I had I didn't have the
odds on my side.
I did not have some doctorsaying that everything was going
to be okay.
I had no signs of life showingback up in my body, but I had my
(20:30):
mindset and I had that decisionthat we all have at every second
of our lives to just keep movingforward.
So that gave me a lot ofconfidence to go into the
surgery, that I can block outthat emotion and that anxiety of
the moment, really singularlyfocus on that one thing I can
(20:50):
control.
Just do I go into surgery or doI not?
Um, gave me that clarity to beable to go into there.
And I remember just saying myprayers with my family, and I
said goodbye to them.
And I got rolled into thatoperating room.
They they put the anesthesiamask over me, and I count down
from a hundred, you know, downto zero.
I think I got to 98 and uhclosed my eyes and that
(21:13):
concluded the day, May 6, 2017,for me.
SPEAKER_02 (21:18):
Wow.
What a whirlwind.
Unbelievable.
And what a testament to so manythings as well.
A testament to everybody to oneembrace every day that we do
(21:39):
have and express appreciationand gratitude for the smallest
things that we may often takefor granted.
So many times we hear aboutpeople that may have to complain
about a long walk.
(22:00):
Or they didn't park close enoughto the grocery store, and they
had to walk all the way back tothe cart stand.
Imagine if that was taken fromyou, how much you would love to
have the longest walk in theworld.
Another thing, a testament tothe power of the mind, and no
(22:22):
matter what, no matter what maybe taken from us, even the
ability to walk, what can't betaken from us are our core
values, our beliefs, our mentalability to recreate an entirely
(22:42):
new scenario.
So that's what I think about.
And Rob, being a competitor andplaying rugby at the premier
program in the country, I knowyou love winning.
I know that you love to defyodds if someone says you guys
(23:07):
can't beat this team.
No, we're gonna beat this team,and I'm gonna show you exactly
how we're gonna do it.
I'm gonna take it right to you.
At what point from hearing thedoctor's diagnosis, the initial
diagnosis, that you're not gonnawalk again, to then having the
discussion with your spiritualdirector, are you then having
thoughts of, alright, I'm gonnabeat this thing, I'm gonna find
(23:31):
a way to make these legs moveagain sometime someday?
And I'm not gonna create thisreality of I'm sitting in a
chair all day long and nobody'sgonna love me, nobody's going to
want to be around me.
At what point does that dialoguestart taking place?
SPEAKER_00 (23:52):
Yeah, it's a hope that I was really always holding
on to.
Um and it was it was as simpleas I remember I got strapped
into the gurney and brought intothe ambulance on my way over to
the hospital.
He's kind of telling me what'sgonna happen when I get there
and ask if I have any questions.
The first thing I ask, onlything I ask is, Am I going to
(24:14):
walk again?
And he says, I don't know.
And that honestly gave me alittle bit of hope that it
wasn't a flat out no that therewere people out there.
There, there was some, be itextremely small possibility that
I could beat this.
And I didn't have to be in thatstatistical range, which is
(24:37):
probably like 98, 99%, that Iwouldn't get any better, that
this would just kind of be mypermanent, my permanent reality.
And I think so much of that camefrom that like competitors
mindset, from that foundationthat had really been built in me
in athletics, because being ableto play for the Cal Rugby team,
(24:58):
we were not taught to acceptmediocrity for our team, for
ourselves as players.
We were taught to be the bestversions of ourselves that we
could possibly be.
I learned that at Cal Rugby.
I also played for the number onehigh school program in the
nation for for rugby over inSacramento Jesuit High School,
very much similar mindset.
It was just we are going to bethe best.
(25:20):
We are not going to acceptanything less that we have to
push to be the best versions ofourselves.
So if if there was some smallchance that I could beat this
thing, it had to be me.
I was gonna go for it.
And I think so much of that wasjust like knowing I you don't
know how hard I'm willing towork.
And you don't know those timeswhen you know we're 78 minutes
(25:43):
into this rugby match, we'regoing down to the wire, and I
just I can't even fathom likeputting my foot in front of the
other.
Um, but I do it again and I doit again, and I take it a big
tackle.
Or, you know, those times whenit's like, okay, time to wake up
at 5 a.m.
to go run hill sprints with theteam, like little things like
that.
It just builds this fortitudewithin you to where you start
building that confidence aboutyourself that you can put forth
(26:06):
an extraordinary amount ofeffort and dedication that the
studies just haven't seen.
Um, I just I believed in that.
And uh also knew that in the endof the day, whatever happens, if
it's outside of my control, Ihave to have some willingness to
be able to let go of that.
But what I could not accept isthat I didn't do everything that
(26:27):
I could.
I couldn't put my head on thepillow at the end of the day,
knowing that I didn't just layit all out there and give
everything I had to overcomethis.
So it was more just like, okay,let's push that away.
I don't need that negativity inmy mindset right now because it
will absolutely crush me and myability to move forward.
What is something that I can do?
And uh was fortunate that thatonce I got out of that surgery
(26:49):
situation, that I could finallystart focusing on those just
little things, even if it's justlike breathe, eat.
If that's what I need to do toget better, that's what I'm
gonna focus on, and just pourabsolutely everything I have
into it, just like I did when Iwas an athlete.
SPEAKER_02 (27:03):
I feel like one of the best things that a
competitor, a seriouscompetitor, and someone with an
indomitable or unshakablemindset can hear is the word no.
And I've redefined it as no noas new opportunity.
Like there is no no.
(27:25):
Meaning when we really wantsomething, it's never a matter
of if, it's simply a matter ofwhen.
Because we're not gonna stop, nomatter the circumstances.
And I can only imagine hearingthat and then just thinking I am
gonna prove you wrong, and Idon't care if it takes two
thousand eight hundredeighty-six days or five thousand
(27:47):
days, gosh darn it, I'm gonnawalk unassisted someday, and you
know, you're you're making thosethose literally those steps
every single day.
Post surgery, as I'm sure thisstarts to sink in as okay, this
is like now you're reallyfeeling how different life is.
(28:11):
Talk through those those earlythose earliest moments, and
maybe even the first few days,weeks, months post-surger,
because there were additionalcomplications from there, but
now your new reality is okay,hey, you can't move right that
that much yet.
(28:33):
What is that like?
SPEAKER_00 (28:35):
Yeah, that that's when it got most difficult.
Um, because I think anybody canbe paralyzed for a day or a week
or probably even a month.
Um, but as it keeps adding upand you have that uncertainty
looming in front of you, that'swhen that real mental battle
settles in.
And, you know, I wake up fromthe surgery totally just
(28:56):
blurry-eyed, super groggy, um,but like really hoping that I
would wake up and they wouldjust find this absolute medical
anomaly that would help me tojust like wake up and I'm fine.
And uh, it wasn't the case.
So I'm kind of like, okay,yesterday wasn't a bad dream.
This was real.
And I had a new doctor come inand he was a little bit more
(29:16):
optimistic.
He's like, your injury is quitesevere, Robert, but you do have
some things going for you.
Your athletic background's huge.
Like the one we just talkedabout, like that mindset, that's
like the biggest component.
Number two, healthy body.
I had some headwinds that weregoing to come my way, and my
body would be more prepared totake that on.
Um, I was young, you know, mynervous system's still
(29:38):
developing.
That's good for thatregeneration.
And uh, really strong supportsystem, amazing family, amazing
friends, my team right therewith me, just like tens and tens
and tens of players in thelobby, just waiting for that
first moment they can come inthe door and see me.
Um, I had a lot of positivesgoing for me.
So that really helped, but Ineeded it because I got
pneumonia, and that's dangerousfor anybody, right?
(30:00):
But I couldn't cough.
I I couldn't like breathe on myown.
My diaphragm was mostlyparalyzed.
Um, so if something got stuck inmy windpipe, I could not cough
it out.
I would just sit there chokingon it.
And then we get someone to likeslam down on my lungs to try and
move this out just so I canstart breathing.
And remember the first time Itried to eat something, you
know, I swallow and it just getsstuck like right in my windpipe.
(30:22):
And there I am.
I can't cough it out.
And like, oh goodness, you know,you can't eat.
So they shove a tube up my noseand down to my stomach.
Um, it took three days to get inthere because I broke my nose so
many times playing rugby.
And I talk about pain.
I don't know if you ever did oneof those COVID tests where it
feels like it's poking yourbrain.
Um, I mean, that that timestimes a hundred, right?
This thing's going all the waydown to my stomach.
(30:45):
Um, and I just and it, but Ikept going back to that like
control your mindset piece thatwhen they're shoving this tube
up my nose for an hour, blood'sgoing down my throat into my
mouth.
I mean, I'm just like, I'm justcrying.
Um, can't couldn't grip thesheets even if I wanted to, but
man, what you know, what I have.
And uh, you know, for thesebreathing treatments, the
(31:06):
pneumonia, they had to wake meup every three hours to start
pumping down on my lungs.
Every two hours, someone wouldcome in to rotate my body so I
didn't get a skin sore.
And every one hour, someonewould come come in to check on
my vital signs, make sure I wasdoing okay medically.
I didn't sleep.
I mean, it was like it was likebuds, it's like Navy SEAL
training.
I mean, just absolute sleepdeprivation, um, you know, very
(31:28):
physically challenging for me.
And uh, and but the mentalmental component above all of
that, but what kept me going wasthat control your mindset piece.
It's like, do you want to eat ornot?
Yes, let them shove this tubedown your nose.
Do you want to breathe or not?
Yes, go into another breathingtreatment, whether it's 3 p.m.
or 3 a.m.
(31:49):
You have to do it.
And uh, and that that kept memoving forward through that
period.
And um, I mean, yeah, I neededit.
And I got I got through that,and then eventually could
finally start doing some rehab.
And uh, I mean, just I rememberhow excited I was to really just
be like, okay, I got throughthat medical period and like now
(32:09):
I'm in the game.
This is where it gets fun.
Um, definitely had a strong doseof humility.
I mean, I remember the first PTexercise I ever did was going
from laying on my back to layingon my side.
And I mean, we're talking justlike just 15 minutes of trying
as hard as I can to fling whatcontrol I had in my arms over
and hopefully take that momentumto bring me over.
(32:31):
So, you know, if you would haverewinded just a couple weeks
ago, I'd be putting 405 poundson my back and squatting it, um,
you know, or running a rugbyfield for for 80 minutes.
And uh, you know, here I am justtrying to go from my back to my
side in a laying position.
But again, it's kind of likecontrol that minds, your
mindset.
What can I control?
(32:52):
If this is the task I need totake on right now, this is what
I'm going to do.
Um, so did I fight thosethoughts of like, why me?
Why am I going through this?
Heck yes, absolutely.
Um, but when I could like be inthe action, it kind of faded.
And it was like, I'm just here,another athlete with my coach,
(33:12):
you know, physical therapist,and um, and and we're getting
after it.
So that really helped me tofocus down on what I needed to
do to get better and get throughthose tough moments.
SPEAKER_02 (33:22):
I want to talk about your perspective on embracing
the small victories.
And as I was looking throughyour earlier videos and and
following your journey, youdescribed that at the time, one
of the best days of your life,or it felt like one of the best
(33:43):
days of your life, was when youcould wiggle your toe just a
little bit.
Like the most minuscule moment,movement, something that I'm
sure before May 6th, you wouldhave never thought twice about.
That, all right, I move my toes,I move people around a rugby
field, but now something assimple as moving your toes is
(34:06):
equated to one of the bestfeelings you've ever had.
What's your perspective aroundus embracing the little things
in life and using that as fuelto continue moving forward?
SPEAKER_00 (34:23):
Oh my gosh, it's so important.
And uh I think it's one ofthose, when we talk about those
gifts that come out ofadversity, it's definitely one
of the biggest gifts I'vereceived is just being able to
keep track of those littlethings I have in my life.
Um, because yeah, like if I waswiggling my toes, I mean, I
wouldn't even give it a thought.
And uh, you know, here I mean, Iwas literally moved to tears by
(34:46):
not even like not just not likeplaying the piano with my toes
here, like I mean, I'm justflickering one toe.
And uh I remember because I itwas about six weeks it took me
to get that flicker of movement.
And I mean, I would just stareat those bad boys trying to get
them to move.
And it was Father's Day actuallyin June of 2017 when I got just
(35:07):
that little wiggle of movement,and uh and I mean immediately
like tears run down my face.
And I'm thinking, I was toldthat this would never happen,
and I can finally wiggle a toe.
And I just thought back of like,you know, around that time, like
my buddies and and everyone atCal was like going through
(35:28):
finals.
So they're all you knowcomplaining.
You ask them, hey, how's yourday going?
Oh, not good.
You know, I'm uh, you know, I'vejust been in the library for
like eight hours today, and Idon't know what's gonna happen
for this final.
And uh, and I'm just thinking,like, here I am, and I'm crying
because I was able to wiggle mytoe right now.
(35:49):
It's just like such a differentworld.
And don't get me wrong, if Ididn't break my neck, I would
have been probably complainingabout those finals too.
Um, it's almost like I kind ofwoke up from a from a sleep that
you know, this mask had beentaken over my off my eyes and uh
could was just brought into thisentirely different world that
showed me just how amazing anormal day is.
(36:10):
Um, I mean, I think we just letthose normal days just kind of
pass by us over and over andover again in our lives.
Um, and it's not until somethinglike this happens where you can
really realize how lucky youare.
And uh, yeah, it's like there'sa common saying like that,
right?
Like you don't know what youhave until you don't have it
anymore.
And I think that's just theabsolute worst saying we could
(36:31):
ever live by.
Why should we wait to losesomething before we actually
start showing appreciation forit?
And you don't have to go throughwhat I've gone through to have
that perspective in your life.
You just have to have empathyand you have to be able to look
at the struggles that others gothrough, have that perspective
(36:51):
point to compare what you gothrough right now, and realize
what you have, be grateful forwhat you have, and just have
that general awareness of whenyou find yourself complaining
about something.
Because oftentimes we complainabout something that we would
mourn if we lost it.
So you think about someone like,oh, you know, I gotta go on
this, you know, I'm gonna go runthis 5K today or whatever, and
(37:14):
like I'm super sore.
Um you know, like what are youcomplaining about?
Like, what if you couldn't dothat?
You you I mean, you'd you'd bean absolute mess if you couldn't
run that 5k.
So why are you complaining aboutit?
I don't know.
It's like it it gets on mynerves now when I when I think
about little little things likethat, those little complaints in
our lives.
So it comes down to the sayingum that's really helped me to
(37:37):
have that like quick perspectiveshift.
And I it's called compared towhat.
So just be like, wow, I'm reallytired, but compared to what?
Or there's a lot of hardshipthat I'm going through right
now, but compared to what?
There's a lot that I can do.
There's a lot that I do have.
So I think that's a that's agood tool for us all to have in
our tool belt that compared towhat, to when we find ourselves
(38:00):
having those little complaintsabout life, to just run that
through through our mind,realize just how lucky we are to
have all those little things,those little victories that we
have in our lives.
Um, because they are gifts andthose things can be taken away.
So appreciate them every secondyou have them, uh, because
you're so lucky.
SPEAKER_02 (38:17):
I love that compared to what.
And you bring up a great point,and of and it makes me think of
something that I've heardrecently from Sahel Bloom.
He just wrote the five types ofwealth and got to have a uh
conversation with him a fewweeks ago.
And one thing he brought up isthat we often complain about the
(38:39):
very thing that we prayed andwished for most in life.
Wow.
So think about people that thathave families and a baby.
You you pray that you can have ahappy and healthy baby, and then
you complain about how much itcries and how much of a nuisance
(39:03):
it is in your life.
And this is the very thing thatyou wished for.
Yeah.
Or the dog, or just hey, itpeople I would imagine if we
could if we could heareverybody's prayers, that
somewhere in there that they'repraying to to again live a live
(39:24):
a happy and healthy life.
That's mixed in there somehow.
And then we're gonna complainabout going back a few minutes
ago, how far we have to walk toget to our car.
It's interesting, but I lovethat.
I'm gonna start mentioning thatto people, the compared to what,
because that's an instant,instant shift we can create and
(39:50):
uh get us back to center.
Like, hey man, we have a lot, wehave a lot of great things going
for us right now.
Gotta look for a minute, removeourselves from the situation,
and zoom out just slightly, andyou'll see it.
What have been some of the asyou reflect back on this
journey, Rob, what have been, inaddition to moving your toes,
(40:13):
some of the most victorious orrewarding moments that you've
experienced thus far?
SPEAKER_00 (40:20):
Yeah, there's been so many.
And uh I just to like runthrough the big ones, um, so to
like update everyone on just howamazing this recovery's gone.
So I went from you know, nomotion at all below my neck,
can't breathe, can't eat, cryingwhen I'm wiggling a toe, to
where I spent a year in Coloradoat a hospital and I walked out
(40:41):
of those hospital doors in mywalker, and I now have almost
full motion in my upper body andmy fingers.
Um, I can walk 400 yards in mywalker now, and I stay on that
grind every day to get more.
And I went back to UC Berkeleyand I graduated and I walked
across that stage to get mydiploma from the number one
(41:03):
public university in the world.
And sorry for the UCLA fans outthere.
We can talk about the number onerankings later.
Um, but uh, I mean, huge momentsin my life, right?
And uh I think the one that Idraw that I draw back to and
continues to inspire me is whenI took my first steps, like in a
harness and everything.
(41:24):
Um, so I go to this awesomehospital over in Colorado, and
totally different outlook whenthey talk to me.
I mean, these guys were awesome.
And they're like, Robert, whathappened to you is terrible, but
we don't know where you're gonnaprogress from here.
I mean, you might walk intothese doors one day, and you
very well might not, but we'regonna give you everything we've
got.
(41:44):
And I remember when I I wiggledthat toe, it was a few days
later that if I were laying onmy back, I could lift my knee up
just a few inches off of themat.
And they saw that and they'relike, we're gonna get you
walking.
And I'm like, hold on.
Like, I can wiggle a toe andkind of like move my knee a
little bit.
Uh, I don't I don't understandlike how this translates to
(42:06):
walking.
Um, but that's where theirgenius really came in.
And I remember they had meessentially connected to a winch
that's connected to a track inthe ceiling to prevent me from
falling down and I can move backand forth.
Room probably went like 50 yardsin a straight line, and I was in
this really heavy-duty walker,and uh had a therapist behind
(42:26):
me, kind of like on a rollingstool.
So they're they're like holdingon to my knees to keep me locked
out, but I'll kind of guide myfeet if I could get in this
walking motion.
And uh, I mean, gosh, right?
I just can't even explain howbadly you want to walk when you
lose that ability to walk.
And, you know, for for weeks or,you know, at this point,
probably like a couple months.
(42:47):
Um, I mean, it was justconstant.
It's all I saw.
I'd watch a movie and I wouldn'teven be thinking about the plot.
I'd just be thinking about how aperson just stood up from a park
bench.
Like I wanted it so badly andprayed for that moment to just
have the chance to walk.
And here I was, hoisted up intothe ceiling, um, you know, leg
supported so I can be in thatstanding position for the first
(43:09):
time.
And uh, and then, you know, Ikind of got that green light.
Here's my moment.
And I remember my physicaltherapist saying, All right,
Rob, right knee forward.
And I just I grip my teeth, youknow, squinting my eyes,
grunting like everything I canto get this right knee forward,
and uh, and it just like pops,boom, forward.
(43:30):
And uh, you know, we're all kindof shocked.
It's like, all right, plant itinto the ground.
I do everything I can to likeput that heel firm into the
ground.
Okay, left leg, like everythingI have, everything I have, just
dumping it all into getting thisknee forward, boom, it goes,
plant it, right leg, plant it,left leg, plant it.
And I mean, I am like drenchedin sweat, just like screaming.
(43:54):
I mean, like the whole room canhear me uh just going nuts on
this thing.
It takes me two hours.
To go that 50 yards and back.
And I look back at those videos,and um, I mean, it was just like
one of the proudest moments I'veever had in my life that I like
I took those first steps.
(44:15):
And I remember after after myrehab for that day, I just went
back into my room and I justwept.
I mean, just crying.
I was so grateful to just havethat chance to give everything I
have and just go 50 yards downand back.
Um, and I, you know, I never tryto forget that, just like how
badly I wanted that at thatmoment.
(44:37):
And I try to take that, youknow, into my workouts that I do
now, and uh, and just everyendeavor I have to just have
that kind of absolute gratitudeand aggression for what I'm
doing at the moment.
SPEAKER_02 (44:48):
That's beautiful.
And yeah, I've loved watchingyour videos and and seeing the
journey and even seeing youstanding up with your wife and
the beach in Hawaii and andmaking progress on your journey
there.
One thing I'm curious about isthe dream, Rob, that okay, hey,
(45:10):
we we can walk and rununassisted, and and and if so,
is that being tracked at thatoverall big milestone, or are
you chasing, or do you createlittle milestones along the way?
Like, for instance, are yougoing towards the big thing
(45:30):
right now, or are you goingtowards let's get to 600 yards,
800 yards?
Like, do you break it out?
SPEAKER_00 (45:38):
You have to.
Yeah, you absolutely have tohave both.
Um, and so this is kind of likeall like in constructing my my
vision and my goals.
So I think in goal setting, youdo have to have those two
things.
You have to have thatoverarching vision, that end
destination that you want toreach.
Try to quantify it as much asyou can.
For me, really tough in mysituation.
So, for that ultimate vision,that's all I thought about in
(46:01):
the beginning, right?
And that ultimate vision for mewas to never need to use my
wheelchair again.
So one day I will stand up outof this thing.
I will never sit back down.
And I don't really care ifthat's like with a walker or
crutches or unassisted, however,that looks, obviously, if I can
get to unassisted, that's likethe ultimate.
But really, just to bewheelchair independent was my
(46:23):
goal.
And so that's like, you know,pie in the sky.
That's what gets you up out ofbed in the morning, something
that's a big stretch goal.
Um, I mean, at the time of myinjury, it was probably, I mean,
easy less than 1% that thatwould ever happen for me.
But it was kind of like the dumband dumber question, like, so
you're saying there's a chance.
I mean, I was just like, ifthere's any possibility, I'm
(46:44):
going for it.
And uh, you know, like I saidearlier, when you lose your
ability to walk, there's nothingmore that you want.
So that was a that was a greatgoal for me to have.
And uh, but I had to break itdown from there.
And I took the took thisleadership class at UC Berkeley,
the professor's name is DanMoulhorn, and um, and he has a
good way of explaining it.
That was really the way that Ibroke this down to and continue
(47:05):
to use it to this day, isthinking from right to left.
So if we think of like a timecontinuum, we you know it's like
the way that we read.
We have our current reality onthe left, and then as we move to
the right, we're in the future.
And a lot of the times when weconstruct our goals, I think,
okay, we were like focus a loton the little steps, and then we
kind of like lose sight of thatlarger vision.
(47:27):
Um, we need to spend the bulk ofour time in the in the beginning
really thinking about where wewant to be and then deconstruct
from that point.
So we think from right to left,from future to present.
So, what do I need to be able todo before I'm wheelchair
independent?
Well, I think one of the laststeps that there's gonna be for
me is really be able to likewalk a mile straight.
(47:50):
I'm gonna need to be able to atleast walk one mile straight
with no rest.
So I have to be able to do that.
Before that, I'm going to beable to need to get myself up
off the ground.
That's a big deal for someonewith a mobility impairment.
You know, before that, I'm gonnabe able need to be able to go
from like like a one kneeposition to getting my leg up
and supporting myself into thestanding position.
(48:13):
Before that, I'm gonna be gonnaneed to be able to stand up from
a couch.
Before that, I need to be ableto stand up from my bed.
You kind of see how the processworks here.
Everything is predicated fromthat ultimate vision, then
getting down to my currentreality, which I always have had
to also be very in tune with,because I met a lot of people
who are like, I'm not aquadriplegic.
(48:34):
This just isn't me.
I'm going to walk out of thishospital in all month.
And because they weren't in tunewith where they were, they
weren't able to get where theywanted to go.
They just didn't realize howmuch effort it was really going
to take and uh and the luck thatthey needed to have on their
side too.
Um, so I was in tune with that.
So in the beginning, it waslike, I need to be able to
(48:55):
breathe and I need to be able toeat.
So I think that's a good way tolike break down those like
overarching goals that we wantto achieve.
But then it's also important tohave like daily goals that we
can achieve.
Because for me right now, youknow, I can walk 400 yards.
It's not easy to like doubleyour volume when you start
getting into kind of like those,like you're really stretching
(49:17):
yourself that far.
Um, so like my goal is to get onmy feet every single day.
That's something I can do.
Um, want to make sure I'm out ofbed by 7:15 every morning.
That's something that I can do.
I can have that victory.
And it's putting me on thattrack to achieving all those
goals that I have along the way.
So that's that's how I wouldrecommend someone set their
(49:39):
goals.
Spend a lot of time on the frontend thinking about that ultimate
vision, get some pen and paperout, thinking from right to
left, how you the milestonesthat you knew to achieve, and
then give yourself some dailygoals too, so that you can keep
yourself on track, keepaccomplishing those things that
you need to do to get to thatultimate vision.
SPEAKER_02 (49:57):
The right to left framework is really useful
because you've got your ideal inmind.
And then the way I've alwayslooked at that is if we are
gonna get to the far right, whatmust be true?
Okay.
Well, if we're gonna bewheelchair independent, what
must be true?
Well, I must be able to get outof bed.
What must be true for me to getout of bed, and you keep going
(50:19):
that way?
I find it to be more fun to takethe right to left approach,
actually, versus yeah,traditional thinking, or not to
say it's flawed, but traditionalis okay, we're gonna go left to
right.
Well, right to left, I believe,makes the end goal even more
feel even more real, or likewe've already, you know, we're
(50:41):
like we're getting there.
There's there's no right,there's no option, right?
Rob, if we break down the theroot cause of why you are where
you are right now.
And you mentioned that on May6th, you were going in to push
(51:02):
your teammates forward.
And players came in and didillegal moves, weren't called,
ultimately resulting in whereyou are right now.
The from what I understand, theman that had you in a headlock,
(51:23):
you've never heard from himtoday.
Eight years later.
And you talked about forgivenessbefore we got started.
What role has forgiveness playedon this journey?
And what would you have to sayto this man if he ever connected
(51:48):
with you in the future?
SPEAKER_00 (51:50):
Yeah, forgiveness has been critically important
through this journey and easilyone of the most difficult things
that I've gone through.
Um because my instinct as arugby player was when someone
hits you back, you hit them backharder.
And you know, there's kind oflike two forms of justice on the
rugby field.
There's a referee blowing hiswhistle, and then there's
(52:13):
justice that we enact with ourshoulders.
And uh, and I mean, I was a bigguy, I was a physical guy.
And uh, if someone put a cheapshot on me, you know I was gonna
let them know that they can't bedoing that.
Um, so here I'd been put on myback, and there was nothing I
could do about it.
And I just remember being inthat hospital and I couldn't
breathe, I couldn't eat, I'mfighting for my life.
(52:35):
I literally have had I had atreatment where my respiratory
therapist, we filled out, wefilled up what was like probably
two cups worth of phlegm from mylungs, and the whole time he's
just saying, This is bad, thisis bad.
And he's walking out in theroom, and the last thing he says
is, You're in trouble, Robert,and he just goes.
And I would think of momentslike that, and it's like, I'm
(52:58):
not in this situation because Iwas doing something stupid, you
know, like drunk driving, or um,you know, just like those, those
like just stupid flukes thathappen.
It's like, no, I was trying toachieve great greatness in my
life, and someone made anillegal move um wrapping me
around my neck, and I was, Imean, I was looking at just flat
out empirical evidence.
(53:18):
I mean, pictures, videos frommultiple angles that I was
driven by my neck, driving myskull into the turf, which
essentially slammed my foreheadagainst my chest and caused all
of this.
And um, I mean, just the initialhatred I had in my heart, I just
I can't even explain it.
Um so immediately it kind ofcame down to like a moral
(53:39):
dilemma sort of question for me.
Like we started about in thebeginning of this conversation,
faith, very important to me.
And this is something that thiswas a teaching that I knew was
very clear.
So that really helped me makethat initial step of just kind
of knowing what's what I neededto do.
And in the beginning, it was anabsolute fake it till you make
it kind of thing.
And people would ask me, Rob,what do you think about this
(54:01):
guy?
And no matter how much rage Iwas feeling internally, I would
just say, I forgive him and Iwish him well.
I forgive him.
And people, you know, they'd getinto it and it'd be like, Yeah,
I know it's bad, but I I forgivehim and I hope he's doing okay,
no matter what I felt.
And as time went on, as I saidthose words, it just kind of
(54:22):
slowly burned out that fire ofrage.
And I think that's a goodanalogy to think of it as that
process of forgiveness is like afire.
And initially somebody startsthat fire for us when we've been
wronged.
Um, but then they're gone andthey're not hanging out.
And we can keep dumping wood onthat fire and building onto that
(54:43):
rage as much as we want, and theonly person it's gonna burn is
us.
But over time, if we choose notto put fuel on that fire, to say
that we forgive them, to notactively engage in those
negative thoughts, it slowlyburns itself out, and then we're
finally free.
And I think like that's the truegift of forgiveness is that
(55:05):
freedom and liberation.
It's not just removing guiltfrom the person who did wrong,
it's removing all those negativeattachments from the person who
was wronged.
And I think if we can like justrealize first that it's always
what's best for us, and thenrealize it's a journey, and we
don't have to feel it internallyto be on that path of
(55:28):
forgiveness.
We can control what we say andwhat we actively engage in, and
it will over time eventuallycontrol the way that we think
and the way the way that wefeel.
It can take years, but it willmake a difference in your life,
and it is always the right thingto do.
Those are some really importantrealizations that there's not a
(55:49):
lot of generalizations we canmake in life, but one I'm
confident is that forgiveness isalways the answer.
So if this person did reach outto me, it would be that I'd
forgive him.
And, you know, it probablywouldn't be the longest
conversation.
I mean, I don't I don't think toforgive someone that you have to
be like best buddies with them.
Um, but you gotta you gottaeventually get to that path of
(56:12):
removing those negativeattachments and you can't go
around spreading rumors aboutthem or allowing those feelings
of hate um to control youractions.
Um, I would say that I forgivehim.
And I would have everything thatI've gone through in the back of
my mind, those moments when anurse was saying that I'm, you
know, I'm in trouble.
And when I'm getting tubesshoved up my nose and I'm not
(56:33):
getting a lick of sleepthroughout the day, and how it
was all because of his actions,those would all still exist with
me.
But beyond that would be thatvery intentional decision to
forgive that person.
And um, I'm just so happy I'vemade that choice because I'm
looking ahead of me.
I'm not looking back behind myshoulder over things that are in
the past and what other peopleare doing.
(56:54):
I'm thinking about myself andwhat I can control and just the
amazing things that I still havein front of me.
Um, so just like the such acritically important decision
that I've made and I've justI've learned so much from.
And um, you know, final thingI'll say to just wrap up
forgiveness is it doesn't haveto be people that we're
forgiving to.
It can also just be those timeswhen we feel like the world is
just against us and the universejust hates us.
(57:17):
We're looking up in the sky,like why to be able to let go of
those things too, to not givepower to those things that we
that bring us down.
That's that's kind of anotherform of forgiveness that we can
access in our lives.
Um, that I think we're that allof us are struggling with with
at some degree at any point inour lives, to just realize that
we have control over what we sayand that we'll eventually have
(57:37):
control over how we think andhow we feel.
SPEAKER_02 (57:40):
It's a very liberating feeling.
And one thing that an analogy Ilike to share is that
everybody's wearing a backpackin life, this this theoretical
backpack.
And often may not realize whatall is in the backpack, and when
(58:00):
then wondering why we may beupset so easily or angry or
mentally and emotionallyfatigued.
It's like, well, you're carryinga backpack full of bricks of
this person's memory and whatthey did to you five years ago,
and this limiting belief thatyou have.
(58:22):
And when we can flip thatbackpack over and in this case,
forgive somebody, you probablyshed you probably shedded a
dozens of bricks that you'recarrying around.
And what's interesting is thatwe talk about well rather,
(58:45):
what's interesting is that wecan paralyze ourselves with our
minds.
And not because we're carryingso many things around.
Your book Paralyze the Powerfulcomes out tomorrow, eight years
later, May 6th.
(59:06):
What are some keys to not allowus to paralyze ourselves?
And what's the ultimate aim withthis book that's out now?
SPEAKER_00 (59:22):
Yeah, yeah, it it's such a good way to view our
challenges as those things thatparalyze us.
Um, and like I realized thatvery early on that you know I
was paralyzed physically, but Ihad things that were paralyzing
me most emotionally andmentally.
And those are things that we alldeal with.
Um, and in overcoming thisjourney of physical paralysis,
(59:44):
I've gained a lot of tools thathave helped me to overcome those
things that paralyze us mentallyand emotionally.
Um, so I lay out 15 differenttools, and each chapter is one
of these tools in this bookthat's helped me throughout that
journey.
Um, you know, things like we'vediscussed in here, like
perspective and uh and likevision.
Um, but I want to go back towhat's something that we talked
(01:00:07):
about earlier that I think is soimportant because I think it's I
think it's one of the biggest,and it is that selfless
commitment.
And um, and the way it startedfor me is it was about five days
into my injury.
I'm hanging out there.
Um, but maybe a little contextis that I used to coach youth
rugby camps when I was playingover at Cal, come back to
Sacramento.
Adrian's just like 10 to 14years old for the campers, and
(01:00:29):
um this one camper's name's namewas Talon, and he was like
really he was a smaller playerout there, but he had heart and
everyone just kind of rooted forhim.
And I would give him a ball sohe could go score.
And, you know, imagine me, likeD1 athlete.
I'd pick him up and I'm like6'5, and everyone else is like
(01:00:49):
up to my hips, and I'm likebobbing and weaving in between
them so Talon can have hismoment.
And we had this real bond.
And, you know, go back to fivedays after my injury, my high
school is hosting a prayerservice for me.
They're praying for my healingand they're praying for my
strength.
And then my dad shows me apicture on his phone of someone
who I can't recognize, but he'sa kid probably around 15 years
(01:01:10):
old, who's obviously fightingfor his life, and his hair is
very white and thin, his body'sjust like skin and bones, skin
is super pale.
And my dad tells me this kid isTalon, and Talon was fighting
stage four cancer.
And this picture was accompaniedby a caption that his mom wrote,
and it read along the lines ofTalon wanted so badly to be at
(01:01:33):
the prayer service to pray forRobert today.
But he's in the hospitalundergoing chemotherapy, and um,
he's wearing his Jesuit rugbyshirt that the team gifted him
in his first round of chemo.
It's his goal that when he beatshis cancer, he wants to go play
rugby.
And Robert inspired him to dothat.
But it closes with this sentencethat's just seared into my soul,
(01:01:54):
and it changed everything forme.
And it said, Stay strong andkeep smiling, Robert.
Your strength helps talent staystrong too.
Tears just pour down from myface because I realized in that
moment that overcoming thisinjury is not about me.
It's about him, it's about allthose people who are inspired
(01:02:15):
when I choose to fight anotherday.
And um, I mean, here we aretoday on the you know, the win
today podcast.
We're talking about how I'm onday 2886 today, and I'm very
intentional about making mygoals happen on those days and
not letting a day just let meby.
And my goal is to be able towalk again and all that, but
(01:02:40):
that's not what's motivated thisme this many years, because
there is a very possible, infact, likely outcome that I will
never walk again, and I willspend the rest of my life trying
to get out of this wheelchair,but it's just never gonna
happen.
That's the statistics say thereis that is the far likely chance
(01:03:00):
that that will happen.
And I would be okay with thatbecause I would know that I've
helped people and that thisinjury didn't beat me,
wheelchair or not, because itdidn't break my spirit, it
didn't break my attitude, and init I was given an ability to
(01:03:21):
inspire people that I neverwould have had if I got up from
that mall.
And it's all rooted in thatselfless commitment, and we just
we must have that.
We must be working for someoneelse in our lives if we do want
to persevere.
It'll help us, it'll helpothers, but more than anything,
(01:03:43):
it gives us meaning and it givesus purpose in our lives, and and
it helps others.
And I go back to that kid talenta lot in my mind.
Um, he battled cancer for fouryears, and then he eventually
passed.
And he died a winner and he dieda fighter, and he's the greatest
example I've ever seen of whatit means to live with that
(01:04:04):
selfless commitment because herehe was, about 15 years old,
battling stage four cancer, andwhile he's undergoing chemo, he
wasn't thinking about himselfand he wasn't praying for
himself, he was thinking aboutme.
And his life ended far tooearly, but he did more than most
of us ever do with our lives inmaking an impact on others
(01:04:27):
because he lived that way.
So uh he's the greatest personI've I've ever known in my
entire life.
He is my absolute biggestinspiration, and I will spend
the rest of my life sharing hisstory and his fighter's spirit
um to fight not just forhimself, but but for others.
And um, and he's he's helped memore than than anyone I I could
(01:04:51):
ever know.
Um, just an amazing principle tolive by that that we all gotta
that we all gotta take to heart.
Amen.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04:58):
To talent and it's my most sincere wish, Rob, that
what you just said there servesas an invitation and a call to
action to everyone listening todo something, one thing for one
(01:05:20):
person.
Because in that we'll nevertruly understand the impact that
we really have in this world.
Look at the story you justshared right there.
And now heck, I can go and tellthat story to others, but it
came down to one person, oneaction.
(01:05:44):
And doing something that'sbigger than ourselves.
Of course, we want to win inlife however we define winning
to be, and accomplish our goalsand I'm sure lead a family.
Do great things.
But one of the most rewardingthings that we could ever do in
(01:06:05):
this life is impact another lifepositively.
And it's my wish that that's theinvitation that you just gave us
right there.
And it's my second most sincerewish that people pick up the
book and absorb all of thelearnings and the lessons that
you've packed in there, and thatwe can truly experience all of
(01:06:27):
your wisdom, insights, andinspiration.
It's a closing tradition on thepodcast, Rob, to end with a
rapid fire session.
Envision that you and I aregoing out to lunch somewhere
cool in Northern California, andwe're going up three elevator
floors to have lunch on therooftop.
(01:06:48):
On each floor, somebody is goingto enter the elevator for one
floor, and they're going to getout, and they're going to
recognize you and they've got aquestion.
The amount of time you have toanswer the question is the
amount of time it takes to go upone elevator floor.
Alright?
So this is one gem, one step,one book.
So the first person enters theelevator.
(01:07:08):
Rob, what's one gem that youhave, whether it be a quote or a
mantra that you live your lifeby that I can put in my back
pocket and live my life by aswell?
SPEAKER_00 (01:07:19):
Yeah, it's I've done harder things.
So it's those little moments inlife that happen to us when
we're having a tough day, or inthose little things, like our
phone runs out of batteries,forgot your charger at home,
just be able to look at thethings that we've overcome, tell
ourselves we've done harderthings, and uh keep me foot
move, keep us moving forward.
I think we all need to rememberthat that we've done incredible
(01:07:40):
things in our lives.
SPEAKER_02 (01:07:41):
Yes, sir.
Next person gets on.
Rob, what's one step that I cantake today to not become
paralyzed by my own thoughts andmind?
SPEAKER_00 (01:07:53):
It's to start looking up inspirational
stories.
I think we all have to spendlike very conscious, deliberate
time looking up stories ofhardship so we don't get lost in
the minutia of life, but justrealize how much how much we
have that we can be gratefulfor.
Gotta gotta spend some timelooking up stories of hardship.
SPEAKER_02 (01:08:11):
Perfect segue into the last one of stories.
What's one book in addition toyours that we should pick up in
2025 to improve our mindsets?
SPEAKER_00 (01:08:24):
Man search for meaning by Victor Frankel.
Absolute stellar book.
Um, quote that I go back to alot from him is that anything
can be taken from a man but onething, the last of the human
freedoms, to choose one'sattitude in any given set of
circumstances.
We're talking um like major,major scientist here and
(01:08:44):
Holocaust survivor just layingout some incredible wisdom that
can benefit all of us.
SPEAKER_02 (01:08:49):
It's an absolutely incredible book.
Rob, it's been such such a joyand a privilege to have the
opportunity to interview you andhear your story.
How can we keep up with you andsupport you in addition to
getting a copy of the booktomorrow when it releases?
SPEAKER_00 (01:09:09):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So for the book, I'm gonna beavailable everywhere you buy
books, Amazon, Farns and Noble,um, all that stuff, doing an
audio book as well that I'mnarrating myself.
Um so look out for that,Paralyzed to Powerful, and on
social media.
Um I'm everywhere, you know,Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn,
Twitter, TikTok.
(01:09:29):
Um kind of got a monopoly on thename Robert Taylor.
So just look me up and umposting those daily daily
updates to keep people movingforward.
But just an absolute honor here,Brian.
I can't thank you enough forhaving me and uh yeah, excited
to connect with anybody whowould like to.
SPEAKER_02 (01:09:44):
So excited for you, Rod.
And again, truly appreciate theopportunity today, and the
opportunity for listeners toreally rethink how they view
life and take in moreappreciation for what is and all
(01:10:11):
the little things.
Really thoroughly inspired byyou and your work, and wish that
this serves as an invitation forpeople to serve others, embrace
life, take advantage of thelittle things, and express more
appreciation for the littlethings, not paralyze ourselves
(01:10:34):
and win today.
Thank you so much.
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