May 15, 2025 • 59 mins
When menopause hits, it can feel like you're losing your mind. The symptoms—from anxiety and brain fog to crawly skin sensations and sleep disturbances—often arrive without warning and can disrupt every aspect of life. But as UK menopause expert Emma Seville explains, these experiences aren't signs of weakness; they're natural biological responses to changing hormone levels that affect 51% of the world's population.
Our conversation peels back the layers of shame and confusion surrounding this life transition, offering a refreshingly honest look at what happens during perimenopause and menopause. Emma walks us through the science of how declining progesterone affects GABA levels in the brain, triggering anxiety, while fluctuating estrogen creates the perfect storm for mood swings. She explains why these hormonal shifts impact everything from sleep quality to muscle mass, brain function to gut health.
What makes this discussion truly valuable are the practical, accessible solutions Emma shares. Morning sunlight exposure for better sleep. Strength training to counter muscle loss. Walking with female friends to naturally lower cortisol levels. The beauty of these approaches? Most cost nothing and require minimal time investment, yet deliver significant benefits for managing symptoms and protecting long-term health.
We also tackle the workplace challenges menopausal women face. While some UK companies have implemented formal menopause policies, many women worldwide struggle silently, often contemplating leaving careers they've built over decades. Emma offers strategies for having these difficult conversations with employers and colleagues, emphasizing that education and openness benefit everyone.
Whether you're currently experiencing symptoms, approaching this life stage, or simply want to better understand what the women in your life might be going through, this episode provides a roadmap for navigating menopause with greater ease and confidence. Ready to transform this challenging transition into an opportunity for growth? Listen now and discover how to reclaim your power during menopause.
https://www.yourmenopausetoolkit.com/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Audra (00:00):
Welcome in everyone and thank you so much for joining me
again this week.
This week, my guest is joiningme from the UK.
My guest this week is aBurrell-educated menopause
expert.
That's right, we're going totalk about menopause and she is
going to talk to us about toolsand practical solutions to help
(00:20):
women live a long life, from nowinto ripe old age, for us to be
happier, healthier and livemore energetic and empower
strong lives.
It is my pleasure and my honorto introduce to you Emma.
Emma, thank you so much forbeing here and welcome to the
show.
Emma (00:39):
Oh hello, audra.
It's lovely to be here andthank you for inviting me.
It's so exciting.
Audra (00:45):
It's lovely to be here and thank you for inviting me.
It's so exciting.
Well, I'm so excited for you tobe here because I actually
started following you on socialmedia because you were talking
about menopause in such a waythat was approachable, it wasn't
scary, it didn't have anythingthat made me feel embarrassed or
that I should be hiding thesethings that I was feeling.
(01:06):
And I immediately reached outto you and said, emma, I want to
talk about these symptoms thatI'm feeling and that other women
are feeling, because I don'twant to feel alone and I don't
want other women to feel alone,so would you be on my show?
And that's how we met.
So that's why we're here.
Emma (01:23):
Yeah, absolutely, and I'm really flattered that you felt
so happy and secure with me and,to you know, be so vulnerable
with me as to share yourexperience, and I really hope it
helps loads of other women.
Audra (01:40):
So before we jump into that, Emma, first tell everybody
what do you do, what is thename of your organization and
what do you do.
Emma (02:00):
I focus on peri to post-menopause that time, you
know, with all the symptoms, andI work with a very holistic
point of view.
I have nothing against HRTwhatsoever, but I specialize in
helping women with all the otherthings that go alongside HRT.
Or, if you can't take HRT, helpyou, you know, navigate your
(02:21):
way through it.
Hrt help you, you know,navigate your way through it.
So, everything from movement,nutrition, you know mental
health to a certain degree.
You know all the tools that canhelp us with sleep and
lifestyle.
So, yeah, I coach womenone-to-one and I work within
(02:43):
companies doing training forwomen as well.
Yeah, so I just want to empoweras many women as possible and I
think we all deserve to know asmuch as possible about what's
going on in our bodies andbrains at this time.
Audra (02:59):
Because it's really confusing.
It changes, at least for me.
It has changed from day to day,from month to month, and I'm
really glad that you mentionedthat you work with companies,
because the thing aboutmenopause with, just like any
other hormone, I can't turn itoff when I go to work.
I would love to be able to turnit off when I go to work, but
(03:23):
it still follows me there.
So I think that it's reallyinteresting that you get to work
with companies, which issomething that the UK is
definitely ahead of us with thecorporations that are in the US.
Tell us a little bit before westart jumping into the nitty
gritty of what we experience andthe symptoms and whatnot.
(03:44):
Tell us what you do withcorporations there in the UK and
the work that you do to helpcorporations understand what
their female employees areexperiencing and what they can
do to help them.
Emma (03:57):
Yeah, so I'm really committed to helping women
themselves understand what isgoing on.
So I have a series of four hourlong um online I can't think of
the word brain fog presentationsthat offer to you know as many
(04:25):
people as companies want to fiton a Zoom or a Teams meeting
with a Q&A after every one, andyou know people send me
questions and all the rest of it, and I also offer an hour long
piece of work, which isbasically everything that
revolves around.
You know the workplace, so themen that are working there can
(04:47):
also take part in that and learna little bit more about what's
going on for women at this time,hopefully become a bit more
empathetic and knowledgeable, soyou know they aren't freaked
out by any symptoms or feel theneed to ridicule or you know
horrible things happen in theworkspace and women feel very
(05:09):
disempowered and vulnerable, andeducation can really help with
all that as well.
So, yeah, it's hugely important.
It shouldn't be a mystery andit you know it happens to 51% of
the population of the worldhuman population, some animals.
It's not a mystery, it's justsomething that happens and
(05:32):
everyone should grow upunderstanding it.
Audra (05:36):
Yeah, it's not like we signed up for this.
It's not like yes, please,please, make us feel like we're
losing our minds.
I didn't ask for this.
This just is happening to me,and when you and I had met, you
had mentioned something that I'dnever heard of, and it blew my
mind that there are somecorporations out there that have
(05:57):
policies on menopause.
What is that?
What is a menopause policy?
Emma (06:14):
Well, it's basically whatever that company wants to
make it into.
What is that?
What is a menopause policy?
It depends on the size of thecompany.
It depends on a lot of things.
Some companies take itwholeheartedly and have a place
for women to go to somebody, totalk to somebody that's been
trained, who can help them inmanagement or HR or on other
(06:39):
companies.
Just tick a little box and youknow I don't know what they do,
but the more more you do, thebetter.
Obviously because women leavetheir jobs.
Women can't cope and they feelso useless that they leave in
their droves or they feel likethey want to leave, they take
sick days and that's all thattalent, all that lifetime of
(06:59):
work is going down the drain.
So it's in companies' favor tolook after their workforce as
they would with anything else.
I don't know how the mentalhealth policies are.
Time of work is going down thedrain, so it's in companies'
favor to look after theirworkforce as they would with
anything else.
I don't know how the mentalhealth policies are in the US,
but there's so much more talkabout mental health and
well-being and it should be thesame in the menopause space,
because it's just ridiculous notto support women at this time
(07:24):
and you need a little bit ofextra support.
You need a little bit of abreak, you need the odd day to
work from home and some flexibletime.
And there's no loss for acompany in that.
It's just that the workplacehas been made and designed
around men who have a wife athome making the dinner.
(07:46):
That's the truth of the matter.
The working day and women arecyclical beings and we cycle not
only through puberty andmenopause time, but every month
in between that as well, andthat needs to be taken into
consideration.
It's a no-brainer, it's not aradical thought, it's just
(08:07):
obvious when you think about it.
Audra (08:12):
Well, sometimes when it's obvious, it isn't
necessarily obvious to everybody.
As far as mental health isconcerned, in the US it
certainly has become a moremainstream conversation and
those policies are gettingbetter, but we still don't have
great policies around maternityleave, so we're still trying to
(08:36):
overcome that hurdle.
So having policies aroundmenopause is definitely a bridge
too far yet, but hopefullywe'll get there, which is one of
the reasons why we wanted tohave this conversation.
So let's dive into thismenopause conversation and the
myriad of experiences and thedifferent symptoms that women
(09:02):
can experience and they can have, and it's different for
everyone.
There's a spectrum of differentkinds of symptoms that you can
have and you may not have themall at once.
They might have ranges and youmight have mild ones, medium
ones and everything in between,and I have been very transparent
(09:26):
with everybody.
I am smack dab in the middle ofmenopause.
I take HRT because nothing elseworked for me.
I tried everything else and inmy case, my symptoms were very
severe, very, very, very severe,and I told Emma before we got
(09:47):
on that I would share mysymptoms.
And my symptoms got extremelysignificant this past spring
that they started to affect mymental health so badly that my
anxiety was extremely high and Istarted to have suicidal
ideology because it was just sooverwhelming.
(10:11):
I felt like I was losing mymind.
I knew it was menopausal.
It still made me feel crazy.
I almost took leave of absencefrom my job.
Exactly what we were explaining.
I almost had my husband take aleave of absence from my job
Exactly what we were explaining.
I almost had my husband take aleave of absence from his job
because I didn't trust myselfbeing at home.
Luckily, hrt worked, luckilyand my hormones are balanced out
(10:38):
and I feel great.
But it was a rough road andnobody nobody could relate to me
because it's a spectrum, like Iexplained to you.
It's a spectrum and what I wasfeeling not everybody was
experiencing was feeling.
So that's why I met Emma isbecause she was talking about
(11:01):
this and making it normal, isbecause she was talking about
this and making it normal and Iwanted it to make it normal for
all of you.
So, emma, I want you to speakto everybody and make everybody
else feel normal about theirsymptoms.
Emma (11:15):
Yeah Well, there's so many symptoms.
There's everything from.
Everyone knows about hotflushes and night sweats.
Often the doctors only agreewith women about being in
perimenopause if they have hotflushes, but many women never
have hot flushes, but they mayhave really bad anxiety.
(11:43):
The fact is, you go intoperimenopause as your
progesterone levels lower, soprogesterone is one of the
hormones.
It's produced by your ovaries.
As your ovaries stop producingeggs, your progesterone gets
very low.
It gets low, low, low.
That affects your GABA levelsin your brain, which is the
(12:05):
calming neurochemical.
So it's not difficult to seethat anxiety can be one of the
biggest things, and at that timeyour estrogen is actually
really high.
It might even go shooting up tolevels that are higher than
they've ever been before.
You're not low in estrogen then,although it can plummet down
(12:25):
again.
It's varying every day all thetime, which is where we get mood
swings.
Your periods can beridiculously heavy.
Your libido can just fall off.
You just don't.
It's gone.
Where's it gone?
And then later on, a few yearslater, your estrogen gets lower,
(12:46):
as well as your progesterone,and that's when you get low.
You feel really low.
So you're not just anxious, youcan be feeling very low as well
.
And if you're in a stressful joband you've got to show up every
day feeling like that, that'shardcore, that's impossible.
To show up every day feelinglike that, that's hardcore,
that's impossible.
(13:07):
You can't carry on like that.
And I think it's the perfectstorm.
If you're taking a lot on yourshoulders, you know you need,
you need a.
You need less on your shoulders, basically.
So the symptoms are really farranging.
With low oestrogen, there'sloads of funny things like itchy
skin, itchy ears.
You might really ache.
(13:28):
A lot of the symptoms can besigns of underlying problems
that you've always had, and it'sa really good opportunity to
fix those problems.
This is where someone like mecomes in, because the HRT will
help immeasurably for loads ofwomen and that's fantastic.
(13:49):
But you're not getting theamount of estrogen you are
automatically making in your 30sand 20s and 30s, so you're not
going to feel like you did.
Then, in all likelihood, you'llfeel a lot better and you'll be
able to get through this time,but any symptoms should really
(14:09):
be seen as an opportunity.
Um, and yeah, there's just somany of them.
There's something like 34 37symptoms, I think, recorded, but
some of them might be thingsthat are already going on, which
are exacerbated by lowerestrogen, because you have
(14:30):
estrogen receptors all over yourbody, basically, and the things
to look out for are your brainhealth, bone health, muscle.
You know there's a lot you cando and you're you need to change
things up.
You need to really double downon your nutrition, hydration,
the way you move, your exercise,your stretching, your sleep
(14:52):
hygiene, your lifestyle choicesJust all of that stuff does make
a huge difference and it isreally important because, going
forward into the rest of yourlife and as you're elderly, you
want to be able to get out ofyour chair.
You don't want to lose yourbalance, you don't want to break
(15:15):
your bones very easily.
All the things you do now willreally set you up for a really
brilliant old age.
I'm really passionate about itand they're all really doable.
All the things you do, you knowyou don't have to pay a lot of
money to be able to do them.
You can do this stuff.
Audra (15:34):
Well, what I noticed, one of my weird symptoms.
Now most of my severe stuff isgone.
Most of it is gone, thankgoodness.
Like I can think, I still havea little bit of brain fog, but I
don't know if that's.
I don't know if that's me,because I have a stressful job
and you know.
(15:54):
That's just.
I have a lot of stuff going onin my head, but one of the new
weird things is, every once in awhile, I have this weird crawly
skin feeling.
Every once in a while I'm likeweird crawly skin feeling.
Every once in a while I'm likeit feels like a bug.
It's not a bug, it's my skin.
Yeah, which is reallyinteresting.
(16:15):
I'm like what is that?
But I looked it up.
Sure enough, it's menopause.
I'm like that's interesting.
But I started to do exactlywhat you have said is I'm very
careful with my nutrition.
I'm cutting out as much sugar asI possibly can.
Brilliant, can I eat fruit?
(16:41):
Obviously I try to cut out asmuch processed bread as I can,
because that's not good for meeither, because that also turns
into sugar.
Eat as much fresh vegetables asI can.
I don't eat a whole lot of redmeat.
Try to eat as much lean proteinas I can.
I already drink a bunch ofwater.
(17:02):
I live in Arizona.
You can't survive without it.
I've cut out as much caffeineas I possibly can and I weight
train as much as possible.
Yeah, this is all stuff that Ido.
The one thing that I have notbeen able to lick is sleeping.
Emma (17:19):
I don't know why, but sleeping is not my friend, okay
so maybe you're missing a littlebit of the sleep hygiene recipe
for perfect sleep, so I'd saymorning light.
So when you wake up and youmake your first drink of the day
(17:40):
, do you ever go outside with itand sit outside?
Audra (17:46):
I don't.
I usually get out of bed, um,the first thing I do is look at
my phone and see what what'shappening.
Have I been?
Have I been emailed overnight?
Is there something?
Is there something on fire?
Basically, yeah, I, I check mymeetings for the day.
I get up and get I do drink aglass of water.
(18:08):
The first thing I do in themorning is I drink a glass of
water, but no, I don't typicallygo outside, right it's.
I usually open the door to letthe dogs out, but no, I don't go
outside okay.
Emma (18:19):
So from now on, I want you to put off looking at your
phone because you're not beingpaid yet, right?
You're not, are you?
No, not yet.
Technically no, and nobody isgoing to be on fire and if they
were, you wouldn't be able tofix it via your phone.
So you're going to put yourphone and you're going to go
(18:39):
outside with your dogs andyou're going to watch them
gambling about and they're goingto make you laugh and you're
going to get five to ten minutesof that beautiful Arizona light
in your eyes and you're notgoing to feel cold like you
would where I was, where I am,and you're going to do that
every single morning and then atnight, when you let the dogs
(18:59):
out for their last wee wee,you're going to go out with them
again and you're going to getthat lovely evening light in
your eyes and that will set yourmelatonin.
And you're not going to look atyour phone or a screen for the
last two hours before you go tobed.
You're not going to havecaffeine after midday.
(19:21):
You're going to make sureyou're hydrated.
You say you're already reallygood at that and just see how
those three things do for you.
So you don't start thatcraziness until you've done your
morning light.
Also, have some protein before10am because that helps keep
(19:42):
your cortisol levels happy,because you go into a little bit
of a panic.
We're not little men, we'rewomen.
We've got a whole lot moregoing on than them and we need
to treat ourselves differently.
Our bodies are different.
But yeah, sleep is gold.
(20:03):
Sleep is so valuable.
Sleep is much more importantthan any meeting you're ever
going to.
You know, that is that is forsure.
Don't organize any meetingsuntil that.
Until after that time, giveyourself a half an hour to check
your phone before you startyour meetings, but make sure you
give yourself that first hourin the morning.
(20:24):
You know it's so important andit's so nice after a little
while.
I have guinea pigs.
My daughter has guinea pigs aspets and they're the cutest
things.
But they, they're waiting bytheir door at 7 30 in the
morning.
They're looking out of theirlittle window waiting for me to
appear with their breakfast, andI can see through my front door
(20:47):
.
There's a little window andthen I can see them there.
So I'm like I'm where I'mcoming, and then I go out and I
just stand there and I just lookat the view and I.
It's so nice, just gets amorning light and if you have a
drink in the morning, take yourwater out with you and sip it
and don't look at a screen, andthat is really good.
(21:09):
It just sets the melatonin for16 hours later.
It's just like much more of anatural existence.
Let me know how you get on?
Audra (21:19):
Yeah, I will do that.
And I ask that questionspecifically because I'm not the
only one that does this.
I have lots of company, I havelots of my audience that has the
same existence that I do, thatwe're go, go, go, go go, and we
can't help it.
We reach for that phone andwe're just gone on, on, on, on
on, and I have lots of companythat we can't sleep.
(21:42):
So I ask that question onpurpose, because we need help.
We need help sleeping.
Yeah, because we can't sleep.
Emma (21:50):
And there's so much pressure.
There's so much pressure to bethat busy Like society really
praises the busyness, doesn't it?
But actually if you're not,well, nothing's going to fall
down.
Set up, you know, I think womenneed to start reclaiming it,
(22:11):
but it's like, no, I'm notavailable.
Then, if you are reallyconfident when you say that I'm
not available until this time inthe morning, I'll be like, oh
okay, no one's gonna go.
What do you?
What do you mean?
And if they ask you what youmean, just spell it out and give
them what for and tell themwhat you mean.
I, I mean, I'm not sleeping,and if I don't sleep for a long
(22:34):
time I'm not going to be alive.
So if you want me to work foryou, you need to let me sleep,
and to sleep I need morninglight and I need evening, and
I'm not looking at my phone andI'm not looking at the screen
and I'm not available for you.
You know no more.
Audra (22:51):
So I'm going to tackle another one.
Yeah, how about the brain fog,the brain, the brain fog and the
word searching, which is, whichis just another part of the
brain fog, which is what I dothe word searching, because the
word is there, I just can't pullit out of my brain.
Emma (23:10):
Do that a lot yeah, I, I get it.
We do that, I, I get it too.
And 80 of women experience somebrain fog in perimenopause most
nearly all of them.
Once they've gone throughmenopause, it goes away, so it's
not forever.
I feel like most women thinkthis is just the rest of their
(23:32):
lives.
It's not.
It's just your brain gettingused to the lower estrogen
levels.
Sleep is really, really usefulto get rid of brain fog.
A good night's sleep rests yourbrain.
Your glymphatic system works,which is sort of your brain
cleaning system.
You have to have enough sleepfor that to function, and stress
(23:57):
is not good for it either.
I'm afraid meditation is sogood for your brain health and
will lower your cortisol levelsand let your brain work it with
ease.
You know, because it feels likeyou're just like I can't get my
words out and it's horrific.
The more you, more you worryabout it, the stress probably
(24:18):
makes it worse, as well as withhot flushes.
Hot flushes, um.
But yeah, make sure you'rehydrated, make sure you're not
hungry.
Your brain needs food and goodfats, omega-3s, avocado, extra
virgin olive oil.
Feed yourself supernutrient-rich food and just
(24:42):
really nourish your brain,because your brain is where
we're happy.
If you want to feel happy, youhave to have a happy brain.
You have to have a well-fed,welllooked after, hydrated,
rested brain.
Um, but I think also, just behonest, if I get brain fog, I
got brain fog in my biggest youknow work gig.
(25:04):
Yet I got a terrible dose ofbrain fog and I just was like,
hands up, got brain fog.
If you want to, you know, justbecause men don't get brain fog,
it's like I've got brain fog.
I'm a woman, I'm 54, I've gotbrain fog.
What do you want to do about it?
Own it, own it and just.
You know, everyone knows you'rea super intelligent human being
(25:26):
and you're, you know, flyinghigh.
You didn't get to where youwere because, you don't know,
you just got brain fog.
It'll come to you in a minute.
Also, when you're, you know,flying high.
You didn't get to where youwere because you don't know, you
just got brain fog.
It'll come to you in a minuteAlso when you relax and you stop
trying to find the word, that'swhen the word pings out.
When you're trying to grab it,it doesn't come to you, does it?
It's like.
Audra (25:48):
No, the harder I try, the worse it gets.
Emma (25:51):
Yeah the far away.
It's like a little bird flyingaway in your brain.
Exactly, yeah, I mean, I thinkit happens to us all.
I mean I've seen men do it,it's not just women, it happens
to us all.
It used to happen to me when Iwas a little girl as well.
It probably happens in pubertya bit, but it does happen to us
(26:11):
all.
Little girl as well.
It probably happens in pubertya bit, but it does happen to us
all.
Yet once we're perimenopausal,it happens more often and it
gives us a little panic, butit's not so bad.
It's not the end of the world.
What's the end of the world isfeeling ashamed about it, and
that's what needs to change,because there should not be
(26:32):
shame around, any symptom of,like you said.
We don't ask for it and youknow, even if we did, it's a
part of being a child, you knowa woman, isn't it?
And that's a wonderful thing tobe, and you shouldn't, you know
, and you shouldn't.
(26:58):
You know there's so much ofbeing a woman is is ladled with
shame and that's just horrible,so sad.
Audra (27:01):
But yeah, if you own it, and I think nobody really minds
well walk us through how tohave these conversations with
our employers, especially ourmale employers.
I will tell you that I'm veryfortunate that I work with a
couple of men, that I have beenvery transparent with them and
(27:23):
said look, this is the issuethat I'm having.
I didn't ask for it.
I certainly wouldn't sign upfor this if I didn't have to
have it.
But the more I fight this andthe more I resist this, I have
found the worse it gets that I'mnot going through this, the
(27:56):
more it exasperates my symptomsbecause it is raising my
cortisol levels, because I'mraising my stress, and it just
makes this worse.
It's just awful.
So I've been able to be reallytransparent with them and talk
to them about it and they'relike whatever, they don't care.
I'm very fortunate and I'vebeen able to have that
conversation with them.
I don't know that everybody iscomfortable having that, so I
(28:19):
would really love if you couldhelp the listeners get
comfortable with having thosetypes of conversations.
Emma (28:25):
Yeah.
So the discussion with yourmanagers, your workforce it's
really difficult.
It's really different foreverybody because obviously
everyone has a differentrelationship with their managers
, different jobs.
What do you do if you work in ashop and you're there and
(28:47):
you're left on your own andyou've got to deal with
customers?
It's very, very different foreverybody.
But I'd say it would be areally good idea, if you find it
really hard to talk aboutbecause of all the shame which
isn't your fault, just to startmaybe talking to a partner in a
(29:08):
really honest way and beingreally vulnerable.
I think we feel like men can'tcope with kind of the facts of
it all and they don't want toknow and they won't like you
know, fancy us or they won'tlike us anymore.
But actually they're prettysimple creatures most of the
time and if you're just honestwith them and vulnerable, they
(29:31):
probably appreciate that,because they don't really
understand what's going on.
They've never been taught aboutit, have they?
And that's the same as you werewith your boss you were so
vulnerable and honest.
They're just appreciative ofthat.
Then they know where they are,what's going on.
So I think, copy you, just comeout and say it.
(29:52):
If you can be brave, use a bitof the rage.
I feel like the, the menopauserage, the lower oestrogen that
makes us, can make us feelreally empowered because we lose
the fluffiness that we've hadall our life of people pleasing
and trying to be, you know the,the loveliest person in the
world all the time you're likeyou know what.
(30:14):
I can't be bothered anymore.
So just tell them like it is ifyou can.
And if you can't quite do that,then practice, practice telling
your friends, ask them whatthey're going through.
Once you open the conversationup, everyone has something to
say and everyone's bursting totalk about it.
(30:40):
I know it must be reallydifficult for a lot of women.
We were brought up not to talkabout our periods in front of
our fathers, not to mention it.
I was told never to mention itto your father kind of thing.
I thought what Thankfully.
I feel like that's changing.
I really hope that's changing.
But yeah, it's like initial.
As soon as it starts happeningwe're told to be quiet and fit
(31:04):
in and not cause a problem.
But you can't hide it, can you?
You just can't hide it anymoreand it's very empowering to talk
about it.
It's empowering every time youmake yourself vulnerable.
That's really empowering foryou.
Like you know, you can um andpeople aren't gonna just push
you away.
And if anyone does talk to you,talk down to you, then you go
(31:27):
up to your boss a level higherand you write them a letter, you
explain it, you send them anemail.
So this has just happened to meand hopefully you have good hr
or you have somebody you cantalk to.
Um, yeah, and I I just worryabout all the women that don't
have any support and, you know,have to struggle through to pay
(31:48):
the rent or whatever, and don'tyou know?
Obviously it's much harder inthe states, isn't it to pay the
rent or whatever?
And don't you know?
Obviously it's much harder inthe states, isn't it to pay for
things for some women.
Oh, it's just, it's not goodenough.
Is it revolution?
Audra (32:02):
yeah, yeah, there's, we're, trust me, we are trying,
we are trying, we're, we are.
We are trying to normalize this, which is why this conversation
needed to happen, because Iwanted to have this out in the
open, because this shouldn't besomething that we whisper about
(32:24):
or not talk about, or feelashamed about or hide or
anything like that, because,like I said, this is not
something that we choose.
This is something that isnatural.
It is something that is normalfor every single woman on the
planet.
It just happens.
It's part of being a woman.
(32:47):
You will go through menopauseyeah, just is and it's and, like
I mentioned, that, for me, themore I try to fight it, the more
stress my body gets, the morethe the symptoms start to
escalate, and I don't want to dothat.
So I just try to go and rollwith it and just, and much to my
(33:13):
surprise, the men that I workwith are like thank you for
telling me Not a big deal,whatever, and for them, they
were just like OK, it's notwhatever.
And I think most men are likecool, whatever, I don't care.
Emma (33:32):
Well, hopefully they're like tell me what you need.
The other.
Audra (33:36):
Some of them have been like that.
Good, some of them have beenlike that.
They've been like do you needsome extra support?
You know what is it.
Do you need me to to jump in?
I'm like, no, don't jump in,just give me a second and I'll
come up with the answer.
Just give me a second and I'llcome up with the answer.
I just need a second to get thewords out of my mouth because
(33:56):
they just I get stressed when Ican't find it, when I can't find
the word, when I can't get itout of my head and out my mouth.
And the more I get stressed,the more you look at me, the
worse it gets.
So give me a minute, let me gettake a breath, and I'll get the
word out my mouth.
Just that's brilliant humanspace.
Emma (34:14):
Yeah, that's brilliant.
And what I think it's really,really important, the men
understand that this is going tobe different for every single
woman.
Every single woman has adifferent experience, a
different mixture of symptoms, adifferent, you know pattern in
it.
It changes throughout yourperimenopause, so much it's not
(34:35):
like you just have perimenopause, but also there's some really
good stuff that comes out of theend of it.
You know, it's not all bad, um,oh no, yeah.
Yeah, I think there's a lot ofdoom and gloom and you know, I
don't know that it's a trickytime.
It's a lot of doom and gloomand you know, I don't know it's
a tricky time.
It's a new time because this isthe first time we've talked
(34:58):
about it.
We've all been talking about itin any space, especially, you
know, online.
There's so many people talkingabout it and there's people
shouting you must fast, you mustdo keto, you must do that, you
must do that.
And it's like, be careful offrom you know who you take your
information from, because itreally is a lot of it is about
(35:20):
stress and a lot of it is about,you know, really managing
stress and learning to find theways that lower stress and
actually not eating is reallystressful for your body, so it's
probably not a good time to dothat, um, but yeah, there's a
lot, there's so much.
It's, it's a lot for everybody.
(35:40):
Um, and I just want it to be, ohgosh, just want somebody in
every company, every company, toget someone in every year like
me to talk to them to say thisis what you can.
These are the hormones involved, these are the symptoms that
might happen.
This is what the nutrition willhelp.
This is the stress managementthat will help.
(36:02):
This is what will help yougoing forward into old age to
keep well.
And then you know, you've gotall those.
Women know how to keepthemselves healthy and stay at
work and they feel empowered bythat knowledge and they can talk
to each other.
They could have a Q&A with meevery month or someone like me.
(36:23):
You know, bring in the, bringin the knowledge.
It's difficult because you Ithink most companies pay men in
suits to come in and talk aboutvarious things.
I mean, I've never worked for abig company, but I'm guessing
there's quite frequent, quitedull conversations.
Not, I was like well, you dohave women working for you.
(36:45):
You might not know this stuff.
Audra (37:03):
Yes, we have a little bit more to go with that.
So what we're left with iswomen having to advocate for
themselves Until we getcorporations to recognize that
(37:34):
women are different than men.
We have to really be there forourselves and for each other,
and you have created some toolsto help us do that.
I know that to be healthy fortoday, through peri and
post-menopause and beyond, so wedon't have brittle bones and
that we can still be activethrough our 80s and and you know
, lord willing through our 90s,what does this checklist help us
(37:54):
do?
Emma (37:55):
so I, I, my company, my, so my business is called your
Menopause Toolkit, so it'sbasically everything.
It's about nutrition, stressmanagement, sleep hygiene,
movement, good movement thathelps your balance, your bone
(38:18):
health, your muscles.
You know, we really should betrying actively to build muscle
at this time because we arelosing muscle every year,
naturally, and so you have to.
You really do have to.
I don't know whose podcast itwas, but I listened to another
podcast the other day with adoctor on it and she said it's
(38:38):
movement should be as much of ahabit as brushing your teeth.
Like strength training at thistime is the best movement and I
know you're doing it.
I love it.
It's also really calming.
It might feel really strange togo into a gym and go into that
men's bit and start liftingweights, but you know what?
(39:00):
Where I go, it's prettyold-fashioned but it's full of
women and they're like everyweek there's another woman in
there lifting, dead lifting, andit's brilliant.
Their faces light up.
It's so fun.
It's really empowering, likementally good for you as well as
being physically good for you.
Um, you really need to doubledown on your nutrition and make
(39:23):
sure you know that you're eatinghealthily um, lots more protein
than you were before, probablybecause nearly everyone's not
eating enough protein.
Um, and then, like we talkedabout the sleep hygiene, there's
a bit more to that.
Yeah, there's just lifestylechoices.
(39:49):
Alcohol is a bit of an elephantin the room.
I don't know how it is in theStates, but in the UK it's a
really big part of our societyand culture to drink alcohol as
a way of winding down, as a wayof ending the difficult day.
It's a way of sort of treatingyourself almost, but actually
it's the enemy of sleep, it'sthe enemy of your cortisol
(40:10):
levels.
It's just not your friend atthis time.
So less and less alcohol is areally good idea.
I hate to be the bearer of thatnews because, you know, we all
probably grew up at a time when,hey, that was equated to fun
and it still lights up that partof our brain and it feels like
(40:31):
it's fun, but it's not reallyfun.
And then you talked about-.
Audra (40:35):
Culture is the same here .
The culture is the same here Inthe US, as it is in the us, as
it is in the uk it's.
You know.
People want to wind down withglass of wine, beer, some sort
of drink yeah whatnot.
Um, so it's the same, but it'syeah, but I I agree.
(40:56):
I know that it makes my hotflashes so much worse, so I
become just a occasional winedrinker, occasional Every once
in a while.
Emma (41:10):
Yeah, that's brilliant.
I think that's really good.
I've actually stopped drinkingbecause I have a slightly low
thyroid, my thyroid's strugglinga little bit, so I've given up
gluten and alcohol at the sametime.
And nobody loved nice bread anda glass of wine more, but I
(41:31):
feel so much better for it.
And I actually write onSubstack and I wrote a little
bit about that and it's nice tosee people's comments on it
because there's a lot of peopledoing the same at this age
because they realize it justdoesn't work for them anymore
and the hangovers feel worseeven from a couple of glasses of
wine.
(41:51):
You feel rubbish the next day.
It affects your mood, itaffects anxiety.
So, sadly, froggy, yeah.
And then going forward for yourbrain health, your bone health
affects everything, affects yourgut lining.
Your gut line is also affectedby less oestrogen.
So your gut health is paramountimportance, as is your liver,
(42:12):
for getting rid of higheroestrogen levels when it spikes.
And it's all that.
You're, all, every part of youis linked together.
Um, and there's, there's a lotto it, but none of it's
difficult to do.
It's a lot of, it's a mindsetkind of the way we talk to
ourselves.
You know if you keep saying, oh, I really want to drink, I love
(42:34):
a drink, oh, but drinks are sonice.
It's going to be ever such alot harder to stop drinking than
if you're saying to yourself Idon don't need alcohol, I'm
going to do a meditation, oh, Ilove meditating, oh, I can't
wait to meditate.
That makes it easier to do theright thing.
You have to change your innervoice and if it's too difficult,
get some help because there'slots of people offering.
(42:55):
You know NLP?
Do you know that in the states?
Neurolinguistic programming Ihave heard of that.
Yes, yeah, I've heard of that.
Really good way of changingyour inner, inner voice and the
way you talk to yourself and thethings you believe you need.
And no, it's, it's, it's allhard because it's all linked to
(43:16):
dopamine.
It's all linked to the happychemicals which we can run low
on.
Also, sunlight gives youserotonin boost.
So get outside as much aspossible.
I'd say go for walks withfriends.
Walking with other women fourwomen really reduces their
cortisol levels.
That doesn't happen for men.
(43:37):
How magic is that?
So when we have a good chatwith another woman, like we are
now, it's good for our cortisollevels.
You always feel better, don'tyou, if you have a nice chat
with a like-minded woman and youcan be honest and vulnerable,
and it's the best medicine.
So yeah, walking outside innature in daylight, walking
(43:59):
outside in nature in daylight,that's a really good, simple,
simple simple thing and this isfantastic.
Audra (44:07):
And everything you just said is easy and free.
Yeah, free, none of it is.
You have to go buy a bunch ofsupplements or you have to do
anything special.
Like I said, I tried thenatural supplements.
They didn't work for me becausemy symptoms were so severe.
(44:28):
I had to do something.
I would have loved to dosomething natural.
I couldn't because they were soawful.
But try the natural first.
Try what Emma's saying firstand see if it works.
What a remarkable thing ifgoing for a walk and being in
(44:50):
nature and serotonin, if thatwill help reduce your symptoms.
What an incredible thing ifthis will help ease how you're
feeling or, if nothing else, itmakes you feel not alone in your
symptoms.
If nothing else, at least youcan have these conversations
with others that are goingthrough things that are similar
(45:12):
to you.
Emma (45:13):
Yeah, absolutely, and know that it will pass, it's not
going to be forever, it's goingto get better.
And and the days you knowdifferent times of the month,
you know when you're stillhaving periods, you're you might
experience much worse pms.
I think you call it, we call itpmt here.
Um, I I think, yeah, thingslike that.
(45:36):
It's like, oh, I'm gonna get aperiod.
I know that.
It's like, oh, I'm going to geta period.
I know that I feel rubbish.
Just double down on everything.
Really, look after yourself.
And you will want sugar and youwill want all the stuff.
You can make some really nicesugar-free cakey stuff that will
(45:56):
give you that comfort foodfeeling with sweet potatoes and
some cocoa powder and some datesor maple syrup.
Maple syrup's probably cheaperwhere you are.
You know there are options.
I know I've personally been notable to afford maple syrup, so
(46:23):
I'm aware of my privilege nowthat I can.
And I know some people in theStates live so far away from a
shop that would sell anythinghealthy.
Audra (46:32):
They don't really have a choice but to buy awful food,
and that's just heartbreaking,isn it yeah, it is, and trust me
, the maple syrup syrup, thereal maple syrup, isn't that
much cheaper here.
So it's not.
It's not.
It's little bottles.
Little bottles are are just asexpensive as they probably are
(46:54):
in the uk.
So no, they're not.
Emma (46:56):
They're not cheap here either oh, I guess it's got a
long way to come from Vermont.
Audra (47:02):
Yeah, the good stuff is worth it.
It is definitely worth it thanthe fake stuff, I assure you.
Emma (47:11):
Yeah, yeah, watch out.
Another good tip actually isread the ingredients.
Read the ingredients list onanything you buy, and if you
can't pronounce it or you don'tknow what it is, it's not food
and don't eat it.
That's very simple.
Try and make your own food.
Eat more simple food.
(47:31):
Eat vegetables, fiber for yourgut.
You know it's kind of goingback in time.
Food it's just real food ratherthan processed.
And xenoestrogens are hormonedisruptors in things like
plug-in air fresheners, thethings we put on our skin,
(47:57):
makeup, candles, all thehorrible in-car air fresheners.
Avoid all that stuff becausethey mess with your hormones and
make everything worse.
There's an app actually calledYucca.
I don't know.
I guess apps are everywhere,aren't they?
Would it be?
Apps are everywhere, yeah, andthat tells you what the toxic
(48:21):
load of different things is.
So you scan.
Oh yeah, I think you scan thething.
I've not used it yet, but youscan it and I'm actually going
to use it with my daughterbecause she's a teenager and she
wants to use all the rubbish,so I thought maybe that will
scare her to not using it.
Um, it tells you how cleanthings are and how or how dirty
(48:44):
they are and how bad they are,because we'll have to check that
out.
Yeah, it'll be reallyinteresting being kind of told
things good for us and they'renot.
It's, it's, you know, dodgy.
So take responsibility for yourhealth and your well-being and
don't let anyone tell youotherwise at work or anywhere
(49:06):
else, really, without gettingsacked.
Audra (49:10):
Yeah, exactly, you had said something that I think is
very true that menopause eventhough there's a lot of of
things that happen that are outof our control, the one good
thing that is totally in mycontrol that has come out of
being in menopause is that I'vetaken better care of myself.
(49:31):
Being in menopause because I'vehad no other choice.
For the first time since I havebecome a mother, I have become
a priority because I've had noother choice.
This whole menopause thinghappened to also coincide the
necessity have now aligned thatI've taken more sensitive to
everything that I eat now.
(49:52):
Things that I used to be ableto eat I can no longer eat.
(50:33):
I cannot eat processed likenormal off-the-shelf peanut
butter anymore.
It rips apart my stomach.
I can eat raw, natural peanutbutter.
We have a store here calledTrader Joe's.
I don't know if you have it inthe UK, but they have this, they
have natural nut butter, so Ican eat that.
(50:55):
But you know the regularnational brands of peanut butter
that I know you guys have themin in the uk.
They're all over the world.
Can't eat it.
No, makes me ill, makes me veryill.
So now I have to pay attentionto things that are overly
processed, I cannot eat it.
It makes me so ill because ofbecause of menopause, I can't
(51:18):
eat, I cannot comfortably eatprocessed food anymore.
Emma (51:23):
No, well, that's like less against wise.
You know it, sure is it, sureis the disguise, but it is a
blessing in disguise, I think.
Yeah, it is linked to your gut.
It's linked to your gut, soyour gut lining becomes thinner
and more permeable and that canlead to all kinds of trouble.
(51:46):
So you have to double down onyour gut health.
Um, oh, bless you.
Yeah, I think the same ishappening to me.
Actually, much more sensitivegut and, like, like I said, I
can't have gluten anymore.
It's just a terrible thing.
Just dream about quesadillas, Iknow.
Audra (52:06):
So if anybody else is starting to notice a sensitivity
to certain foods that you usedto be able to eat with no
problem especially us Americansthat we were raised on peanut
butter and it's pretty much ineverything that we were raised
on peanut butter and it's prettymuch on in everything that we
eat, if you can't digest thethings that you used to be able
to digest, maybe it's becauseyou're in menopause.
(52:28):
Who knows?
Emma (52:29):
it's low oxygen and yeah, yeah, I mean as organic as
possible.
Lower the toxic load as much asyou can afford to by the best
you can afford.
Audra (52:42):
Yes, that's exactly what I've been doing and it has made
a difference.
It has definitely made adifference.
This is not easy, but we're allin this together, as long as we
keep having these conversationsand we keep making this
accessible, making this normal,and that we don't make this a
(53:03):
big deal Meaning what we'regoing through is a big deal, but
not making it a big deal totalk to each other about it and
to talk about others about it,and letting everybody know that
this is a normal thing and we'llget through this and it's we'll
do this together.
That is why I appreciate thework that you do.
Emma (53:25):
Oh, thank you, Audra.
It's been really good to beable to talk to you again and
open up about all these things.
Audra (53:33):
Absolutely and before I.
I'm so appreciative because youmade me feel normal during a
time that I was not feelingnormal, I was feeling completely
out of control and because ofthe work that you do and the
post that you were putting outthere, I felt like I was in good
company and it got me through aperiod of time where it was
(53:55):
really rough and I knew I justhad to hang on until I could
balance out my hormones and thatI could feel like a whole
person again.
And it was because you made mefeel seen, Even though you
didn't know me I hadn't reachedout to you yet you made me feel
like you knew what I was goingthrough.
(54:16):
So I appreciate that.
Emma (54:18):
Oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate you, thank you.
Audra (54:23):
So, before I let you go, I want to make sure that
everybody knows where they cancontact you, where they can
reach out to you If they havequestions, if they want to know
more about your program, wherecan they reach out to you?
So?
Emma (54:36):
my is your menopause toolkit.
My name is emma seville, as inseville, the city in spain, um,
and I'm on instagram your yourmenopause toolkit, and I'm on
linkedin, and, yeah, there's.
There's links to all that on myinstagram, um, and I have a sub
(54:57):
stack page where I write aweekly piece about some kind of
aspects of menopause, with,hopefully, some help in it, and
that's free.
You can subscribe and get it inyour email folder every Sunday
morning, uk time.
So I'm not sure when that isfor you I don't know which day
you're in Audra, um, yeah, whichday?
Audra (55:20):
it is monday morning here.
Emma (55:22):
So we, I believe we are like nine hours behind you okay,
so you'd get out on a saturdaynight, I think, or in the middle
of the night?
Um, yeah, and that's free.
So please sign up for that.
Yeah, I'd love to see if yousend me a message on my
(55:43):
Instagram.
I'd love to chat to anybodywith any questions or thoughts,
and I offer a free call,actually a free hours
consultation with me, where wecan run through all your
symptoms and I'll give you somehelp with your worst one, and
then we talk about ways youcould maybe work with me if
you'd like to.
So, yeah, lots of ways to getin touch and I'd love to hear
(56:05):
from anybody.
Audra (56:07):
Thank you, I will make sure that all of those links in
order to get in contact withEmma are all in the show notes.
I highly recommend that youreach out to Emma if you're
experiencing any symptoms orjust want to talk to her because
you're having questions orconcerns or anything.
She's highly accessible,obviously, because she answered
(56:30):
me and I was a complete strangerand she didn't think I was a
weirdo.
So I highly encourage you to dothat, emma, one more time
before I let you go.
This is a favorite part of myshow where I get to turn over
the microphone to you, where youget to have an intimate moment
directly with the audience, soyou can leave them a lasting
(56:52):
thought, to give them someencouragement to go throughout
their day.
So the mic is yours.
Emma (56:57):
What should I say?
I want all the women out theregoing through perimenopause or
who have reached menopause andstill having a few symptoms.
I want you to know as much aspossible about what is going on
in your brain and body, to feelas empowered as possible, to
(57:18):
never feel any sense of shameabout all this.
It's perfectly normal.
It's perfectly natural andyou're all superheroes and you
deserve the best Women rock.
That's my final word.
Audra (57:32):
I mean, that's a perfect word, emma.
Once again, thank you so muchfor spending this morning with
me and being willing to betransparent and vulnerable and
talk about a topic that weshould be able to talk about
openly anyway, and I can't thankyou enough for being so willing
to do it.
So thank you for joining me.
Emma (57:52):
Oh, thank you for having me.
It's been absolutely brilliant.
Thank you so much, Audra.
Audra (57:57):
Thank you, and I want to thank all of you for listening
and we'll see you again nexttime.
Welcome in everyone and thank you so much for joining me
again this week.
This week, my guest is joiningme from the UK.
My guest this week is aBurrell-educated menopause
expert.
That's right, we're going totalk about menopause and she is
going to talk to us about toolsand practical solutions to help
(00:20):
women live a long life, from nowinto ripe old age, for us to be
happier, healthier and livemore energetic and empower
strong lives.
It is my pleasure and my honorto introduce to you Emma.
Emma, thank you so much forbeing here and welcome to the
show.
Emma (00:39):
Oh hello, audra.
It's lovely to be here andthank you for inviting me.
It's so exciting.
Audra (00:45):
It's lovely to be here and thank you for inviting me.
It's so exciting.
Well, I'm so excited for you tobe here because I actually
started following you on socialmedia because you were talking
about menopause in such a waythat was approachable, it wasn't
scary, it didn't have anythingthat made me feel embarrassed or
that I should be hiding thesethings that I was feeling.
(01:06):
And I immediately reached outto you and said, emma, I want to
talk about these symptoms thatI'm feeling and that other women
are feeling, because I don'twant to feel alone and I don't
want other women to feel alone,so would you be on my show?
And that's how we met.
So that's why we're here.
Emma (01:23):
Yeah, absolutely, and I'm really flattered that you felt
so happy and secure with me and,to you know, be so vulnerable
with me as to share yourexperience, and I really hope it
helps loads of other women.
Audra (01:40):
So before we jump into that, Emma, first tell everybody
what do you do, what is thename of your organization and
what do you do.
Emma (02:00):
I focus on peri to post-menopause that time, you
know, with all the symptoms, andI work with a very holistic
point of view.
I have nothing against HRTwhatsoever, but I specialize in
helping women with all the otherthings that go alongside HRT.
Or, if you can't take HRT, helpyou, you know, navigate your
(02:21):
way through it.
Hrt help you, you know,navigate your way through it.
So, everything from movement,nutrition, you know mental
health to a certain degree.
You know all the tools that canhelp us with sleep and
lifestyle.
So, yeah, I coach womenone-to-one and I work within
(02:43):
companies doing training forwomen as well.
Yeah, so I just want to empoweras many women as possible and I
think we all deserve to know asmuch as possible about what's
going on in our bodies andbrains at this time.
Audra (02:59):
Because it's really confusing.
It changes, at least for me.
It has changed from day to day,from month to month, and I'm
really glad that you mentionedthat you work with companies,
because the thing aboutmenopause with, just like any
other hormone, I can't turn itoff when I go to work.
I would love to be able to turnit off when I go to work, but
(03:23):
it still follows me there.
So I think that it's reallyinteresting that you get to work
with companies, which issomething that the UK is
definitely ahead of us with thecorporations that are in the US.
Tell us a little bit before westart jumping into the nitty
gritty of what we experience andthe symptoms and whatnot.
(03:44):
Tell us what you do withcorporations there in the UK and
the work that you do to helpcorporations understand what
their female employees areexperiencing and what they can
do to help them.
Emma (03:57):
Yeah, so I'm really committed to helping women
themselves understand what isgoing on.
So I have a series of four hourlong um online I can't think of
the word brain fog presentationsthat offer to you know as many
(04:25):
people as companies want to fiton a Zoom or a Teams meeting
with a Q&A after every one, andyou know people send me
questions and all the rest of it, and I also offer an hour long
piece of work, which isbasically everything that
revolves around.
You know the workplace, so themen that are working there can
(04:47):
also take part in that and learna little bit more about what's
going on for women at this time,hopefully become a bit more
empathetic and knowledgeable, soyou know they aren't freaked
out by any symptoms or feel theneed to ridicule or you know
horrible things happen in theworkspace and women feel very
(05:09):
disempowered and vulnerable, andeducation can really help with
all that as well.
So, yeah, it's hugely important.
It shouldn't be a mystery andit you know it happens to 51% of
the population of the worldhuman population, some animals.
It's not a mystery, it's justsomething that happens and
(05:32):
everyone should grow upunderstanding it.
Audra (05:36):
Yeah, it's not like we signed up for this.
It's not like yes, please,please, make us feel like we're
losing our minds.
I didn't ask for this.
This just is happening to me,and when you and I had met, you
had mentioned something that I'dnever heard of, and it blew my
mind that there are somecorporations out there that have
(05:57):
policies on menopause.
What is that?
What is a menopause policy?
Emma (06:14):
Well, it's basically whatever that company wants to
make it into.
What is that?
What is a menopause policy?
It depends on the size of thecompany.
It depends on a lot of things.
Some companies take itwholeheartedly and have a place
for women to go to somebody, totalk to somebody that's been
trained, who can help them inmanagement or HR or on other
(06:39):
companies.
Just tick a little box and youknow I don't know what they do,
but the more more you do, thebetter.
Obviously because women leavetheir jobs.
Women can't cope and they feelso useless that they leave in
their droves or they feel likethey want to leave, they take
sick days and that's all thattalent, all that lifetime of
(06:59):
work is going down the drain.
So it's in companies' favor tolook after their workforce as
they would with anything else.
I don't know how the mentalhealth policies are.
Time of work is going down thedrain, so it's in companies'
favor to look after theirworkforce as they would with
anything else.
I don't know how the mentalhealth policies are in the US,
but there's so much more talkabout mental health and
well-being and it should be thesame in the menopause space,
because it's just ridiculous notto support women at this time
(07:24):
and you need a little bit ofextra support.
You need a little bit of abreak, you need the odd day to
work from home and some flexibletime.
And there's no loss for acompany in that.
It's just that the workplacehas been made and designed
around men who have a wife athome making the dinner.
(07:46):
That's the truth of the matter.
The working day and women arecyclical beings and we cycle not
only through puberty andmenopause time, but every month
in between that as well, andthat needs to be taken into
consideration.
It's a no-brainer, it's not aradical thought, it's just
(08:07):
obvious when you think about it.
Audra (08:12):
Well, sometimes when it's obvious, it isn't
necessarily obvious to everybody.
As far as mental health isconcerned, in the US it
certainly has become a moremainstream conversation and
those policies are gettingbetter, but we still don't have
great policies around maternityleave, so we're still trying to
(08:36):
overcome that hurdle.
So having policies aroundmenopause is definitely a bridge
too far yet, but hopefullywe'll get there, which is one of
the reasons why we wanted tohave this conversation.
So let's dive into thismenopause conversation and the
myriad of experiences and thedifferent symptoms that women
(09:02):
can experience and they can have, and it's different for
everyone.
There's a spectrum of differentkinds of symptoms that you can
have and you may not have themall at once.
They might have ranges and youmight have mild ones, medium
ones and everything in between,and I have been very transparent
(09:26):
with everybody.
I am smack dab in the middle ofmenopause.
I take HRT because nothing elseworked for me.
I tried everything else and inmy case, my symptoms were very
severe, very, very, very severe,and I told Emma before we got
(09:47):
on that I would share mysymptoms.
And my symptoms got extremelysignificant this past spring
that they started to affect mymental health so badly that my
anxiety was extremely high and Istarted to have suicidal
ideology because it was just sooverwhelming.
(10:11):
I felt like I was losing mymind.
I knew it was menopausal.
It still made me feel crazy.
I almost took leave of absencefrom my job.
Exactly what we were explaining.
I almost had my husband take aleave of absence from my job
Exactly what we were explaining.
I almost had my husband take aleave of absence from his job
because I didn't trust myselfbeing at home.
Luckily, hrt worked, luckilyand my hormones are balanced out
(10:38):
and I feel great.
But it was a rough road andnobody nobody could relate to me
because it's a spectrum, like Iexplained to you.
It's a spectrum and what I wasfeeling not everybody was
experiencing was feeling.
So that's why I met Emma isbecause she was talking about
(11:01):
this and making it normal, isbecause she was talking about
this and making it normal and Iwanted it to make it normal for
all of you.
So, emma, I want you to speakto everybody and make everybody
else feel normal about theirsymptoms.
Emma (11:15):
Yeah Well, there's so many symptoms.
There's everything from.
Everyone knows about hotflushes and night sweats.
Often the doctors only agreewith women about being in
perimenopause if they have hotflushes, but many women never
have hot flushes, but they mayhave really bad anxiety.
(11:43):
The fact is, you go intoperimenopause as your
progesterone levels lower, soprogesterone is one of the
hormones.
It's produced by your ovaries.
As your ovaries stop producingeggs, your progesterone gets
very low.
It gets low, low, low.
That affects your GABA levelsin your brain, which is the
(12:05):
calming neurochemical.
So it's not difficult to seethat anxiety can be one of the
biggest things, and at that timeyour estrogen is actually
really high.
It might even go shooting up tolevels that are higher than
they've ever been before.
You're not low in estrogen then,although it can plummet down
(12:25):
again.
It's varying every day all thetime, which is where we get mood
swings.
Your periods can beridiculously heavy.
Your libido can just fall off.
You just don't.
It's gone.
Where's it gone?
And then later on, a few yearslater, your estrogen gets lower,
(12:46):
as well as your progesterone,and that's when you get low.
You feel really low.
So you're not just anxious, youcan be feeling very low as well
.
And if you're in a stressful joband you've got to show up every
day feeling like that, that'shardcore, that's impossible.
To show up every day feelinglike that, that's hardcore,
that's impossible.
(13:07):
You can't carry on like that.
And I think it's the perfectstorm.
If you're taking a lot on yourshoulders, you know you need,
you need a.
You need less on your shoulders, basically.
So the symptoms are really farranging.
With low oestrogen, there'sloads of funny things like itchy
skin, itchy ears.
You might really ache.
(13:28):
A lot of the symptoms can besigns of underlying problems
that you've always had, and it'sa really good opportunity to
fix those problems.
This is where someone like mecomes in, because the HRT will
help immeasurably for loads ofwomen and that's fantastic.
(13:49):
But you're not getting theamount of estrogen you are
automatically making in your 30sand 20s and 30s, so you're not
going to feel like you did.
Then, in all likelihood, you'llfeel a lot better and you'll be
able to get through this time,but any symptoms should really
(14:09):
be seen as an opportunity.
Um, and yeah, there's just somany of them.
There's something like 34 37symptoms, I think, recorded, but
some of them might be thingsthat are already going on, which
are exacerbated by lowerestrogen, because you have
(14:30):
estrogen receptors all over yourbody, basically, and the things
to look out for are your brainhealth, bone health, muscle.
You know there's a lot you cando and you're you need to change
things up.
You need to really double downon your nutrition, hydration,
the way you move, your exercise,your stretching, your sleep
(14:52):
hygiene, your lifestyle choicesJust all of that stuff does make
a huge difference and it isreally important because, going
forward into the rest of yourlife and as you're elderly, you
want to be able to get out ofyour chair.
You don't want to lose yourbalance, you don't want to break
(15:15):
your bones very easily.
All the things you do now willreally set you up for a really
brilliant old age.
I'm really passionate about itand they're all really doable.
All the things you do, you knowyou don't have to pay a lot of
money to be able to do them.
You can do this stuff.
Audra (15:34):
Well, what I noticed, one of my weird symptoms.
Now most of my severe stuff isgone.
Most of it is gone, thankgoodness.
Like I can think, I still havea little bit of brain fog, but I
don't know if that's.
I don't know if that's me,because I have a stressful job
and you know.
(15:54):
That's just.
I have a lot of stuff going onin my head, but one of the new
weird things is, every once in awhile, I have this weird crawly
skin feeling.
Every once in a while I'm likeweird crawly skin feeling.
Every once in a while I'm likeit feels like a bug.
It's not a bug, it's my skin.
Yeah, which is reallyinteresting.
(16:15):
I'm like what is that?
But I looked it up.
Sure enough, it's menopause.
I'm like that's interesting.
But I started to do exactlywhat you have said is I'm very
careful with my nutrition.
I'm cutting out as much sugar asI possibly can.
Brilliant, can I eat fruit?
(16:41):
Obviously I try to cut out asmuch processed bread as I can,
because that's not good for meeither, because that also turns
into sugar.
Eat as much fresh vegetables asI can.
I don't eat a whole lot of redmeat.
Try to eat as much lean proteinas I can.
I already drink a bunch ofwater.
(17:02):
I live in Arizona.
You can't survive without it.
I've cut out as much caffeineas I possibly can and I weight
train as much as possible.
Yeah, this is all stuff that Ido.
The one thing that I have notbeen able to lick is sleeping.
Emma (17:19):
I don't know why, but sleeping is not my friend, okay
so maybe you're missing a littlebit of the sleep hygiene recipe
for perfect sleep, so I'd saymorning light.
So when you wake up and youmake your first drink of the day
(17:40):
, do you ever go outside with itand sit outside?
Audra (17:46):
I don't.
I usually get out of bed, um,the first thing I do is look at
my phone and see what what'shappening.
Have I been?
Have I been emailed overnight?
Is there something?
Is there something on fire?
Basically, yeah, I, I check mymeetings for the day.
I get up and get I do drink aglass of water.
(18:08):
The first thing I do in themorning is I drink a glass of
water, but no, I don't typicallygo outside, right it's.
I usually open the door to letthe dogs out, but no, I don't go
outside okay.
Emma (18:19):
So from now on, I want you to put off looking at your
phone because you're not beingpaid yet, right?
You're not, are you?
No, not yet.
Technically no, and nobody isgoing to be on fire and if they
were, you wouldn't be able tofix it via your phone.
So you're going to put yourphone and you're going to go
(18:39):
outside with your dogs andyou're going to watch them
gambling about and they're goingto make you laugh and you're
going to get five to ten minutesof that beautiful Arizona light
in your eyes and you're notgoing to feel cold like you
would where I was, where I am,and you're going to do that
every single morning and then atnight, when you let the dogs
(18:59):
out for their last wee wee,you're going to go out with them
again and you're going to getthat lovely evening light in
your eyes and that will set yourmelatonin.
And you're not going to look atyour phone or a screen for the
last two hours before you go tobed.
You're not going to havecaffeine after midday.
(19:21):
You're going to make sureyou're hydrated.
You say you're already reallygood at that and just see how
those three things do for you.
So you don't start thatcraziness until you've done your
morning light.
Also, have some protein before10am because that helps keep
(19:42):
your cortisol levels happy,because you go into a little bit
of a panic.
We're not little men, we'rewomen.
We've got a whole lot moregoing on than them and we need
to treat ourselves differently.
Our bodies are different.
But yeah, sleep is gold.
(20:03):
Sleep is so valuable.
Sleep is much more importantthan any meeting you're ever
going to.
You know, that is that is forsure.
Don't organize any meetingsuntil that.
Until after that time, giveyourself a half an hour to check
your phone before you startyour meetings, but make sure you
give yourself that first hourin the morning.
(20:24):
You know it's so important andit's so nice after a little
while.
I have guinea pigs.
My daughter has guinea pigs aspets and they're the cutest
things.
But they, they're waiting bytheir door at 7 30 in the
morning.
They're looking out of theirlittle window waiting for me to
appear with their breakfast, andI can see through my front door
(20:47):
.
There's a little window andthen I can see them there.
So I'm like I'm where I'mcoming, and then I go out and I
just stand there and I just lookat the view and I.
It's so nice, just gets amorning light and if you have a
drink in the morning, take yourwater out with you and sip it
and don't look at a screen, andthat is really good.
(21:09):
It just sets the melatonin for16 hours later.
It's just like much more of anatural existence.
Let me know how you get on?
Audra (21:19):
Yeah, I will do that.
And I ask that questionspecifically because I'm not the
only one that does this.
I have lots of company, I havelots of my audience that has the
same existence that I do, thatwe're go, go, go, go go, and we
can't help it.
We reach for that phone andwe're just gone on, on, on, on
on, and I have lots of companythat we can't sleep.
(21:42):
So I ask that question onpurpose, because we need help.
We need help sleeping.
Yeah, because we can't sleep.
Emma (21:50):
And there's so much pressure.
There's so much pressure to bethat busy Like society really
praises the busyness, doesn't it?
But actually if you're not,well, nothing's going to fall
down.
Set up, you know, I think womenneed to start reclaiming it,
(22:11):
but it's like, no, I'm notavailable.
Then, if you are reallyconfident when you say that I'm
not available until this time inthe morning, I'll be like, oh
okay, no one's gonna go.
What do you?
What do you mean?
And if they ask you what youmean, just spell it out and give
them what for and tell themwhat you mean.
I, I mean, I'm not sleeping,and if I don't sleep for a long
(22:34):
time I'm not going to be alive.
So if you want me to work foryou, you need to let me sleep,
and to sleep I need morninglight and I need evening, and
I'm not looking at my phone andI'm not looking at the screen
and I'm not available for you.
You know no more.
Audra (22:51):
So I'm going to tackle another one.
Yeah, how about the brain fog,the brain, the brain fog and the
word searching, which is, whichis just another part of the
brain fog, which is what I dothe word searching, because the
word is there, I just can't pullit out of my brain.
Emma (23:10):
Do that a lot yeah, I, I get it.
We do that, I, I get it too.
And 80 of women experience somebrain fog in perimenopause most
nearly all of them.
Once they've gone throughmenopause, it goes away, so it's
not forever.
I feel like most women thinkthis is just the rest of their
(23:32):
lives.
It's not.
It's just your brain gettingused to the lower estrogen
levels.
Sleep is really, really usefulto get rid of brain fog.
A good night's sleep rests yourbrain.
Your glymphatic system works,which is sort of your brain
cleaning system.
You have to have enough sleepfor that to function, and stress
(23:57):
is not good for it either.
I'm afraid meditation is sogood for your brain health and
will lower your cortisol levelsand let your brain work it with
ease.
You know, because it feels likeyou're just like I can't get my
words out and it's horrific.
The more you, more you worryabout it, the stress probably
(24:18):
makes it worse, as well as withhot flushes.
Hot flushes, um.
But yeah, make sure you'rehydrated, make sure you're not
hungry.
Your brain needs food and goodfats, omega-3s, avocado, extra
virgin olive oil.
Feed yourself supernutrient-rich food and just
(24:42):
really nourish your brain,because your brain is where
we're happy.
If you want to feel happy, youhave to have a happy brain.
You have to have a well-fed,welllooked after, hydrated,
rested brain.
Um, but I think also, just behonest, if I get brain fog, I
got brain fog in my biggest youknow work gig.
(25:04):
Yet I got a terrible dose ofbrain fog and I just was like,
hands up, got brain fog.
If you want to, you know, justbecause men don't get brain fog,
it's like I've got brain fog.
I'm a woman, I'm 54, I've gotbrain fog.
What do you want to do about it?
Own it, own it and just.
You know, everyone knows you'rea super intelligent human being
(25:26):
and you're, you know, flyinghigh.
You didn't get to where youwere because, you don't know,
you just got brain fog.
It'll come to you in a minute.
Also, when you're, you know,flying high.
You didn't get to where youwere because you don't know, you
just got brain fog.
It'll come to you in a minuteAlso when you relax and you stop
trying to find the word, that'swhen the word pings out.
When you're trying to grab it,it doesn't come to you, does it?
It's like.
Audra (25:48):
No, the harder I try, the worse it gets.
Emma (25:51):
Yeah the far away.
It's like a little bird flyingaway in your brain.
Exactly, yeah, I mean, I thinkit happens to us all.
I mean I've seen men do it,it's not just women, it happens
to us all.
It used to happen to me when Iwas a little girl as well.
It probably happens in pubertya bit, but it does happen to us
(26:11):
all.
Little girl as well.
It probably happens in pubertya bit, but it does happen to us
all.
Yet once we're perimenopausal,it happens more often and it
gives us a little panic, butit's not so bad.
It's not the end of the world.
What's the end of the world isfeeling ashamed about it, and
that's what needs to change,because there should not be
(26:32):
shame around, any symptom of,like you said.
We don't ask for it and youknow, even if we did, it's a
part of being a child, you knowa woman, isn't it?
And that's a wonderful thing tobe, and you shouldn't, you know
, and you shouldn't.
(26:58):
You know there's so much ofbeing a woman is is ladled with
shame and that's just horrible,so sad.
Audra (27:01):
But yeah, if you own it, and I think nobody really minds
well walk us through how tohave these conversations with
our employers, especially ourmale employers.
I will tell you that I'm veryfortunate that I work with a
couple of men, that I have beenvery transparent with them and
(27:23):
said look, this is the issuethat I'm having.
I didn't ask for it.
I certainly wouldn't sign upfor this if I didn't have to
have it.
But the more I fight this andthe more I resist this, I have
found the worse it gets that I'mnot going through this, the
(27:56):
more it exasperates my symptomsbecause it is raising my
cortisol levels, because I'mraising my stress, and it just
makes this worse.
It's just awful.
So I've been able to be reallytransparent with them and talk
to them about it and they'relike whatever, they don't care.
I'm very fortunate and I'vebeen able to have that
conversation with them.
I don't know that everybody iscomfortable having that, so I
(28:19):
would really love if you couldhelp the listeners get
comfortable with having thosetypes of conversations.
Emma (28:25):
Yeah.
So the discussion with yourmanagers, your workforce it's
really difficult.
It's really different foreverybody because obviously
everyone has a differentrelationship with their managers
, different jobs.
What do you do if you work in ashop and you're there and
(28:47):
you're left on your own andyou've got to deal with
customers?
It's very, very different foreverybody.
But I'd say it would be areally good idea, if you find it
really hard to talk aboutbecause of all the shame which
isn't your fault, just to startmaybe talking to a partner in a
(29:08):
really honest way and beingreally vulnerable.
I think we feel like men can'tcope with kind of the facts of
it all and they don't want toknow and they won't like you
know, fancy us or they won'tlike us anymore.
But actually they're prettysimple creatures most of the
time and if you're just honestwith them and vulnerable, they
(29:31):
probably appreciate that,because they don't really
understand what's going on.
They've never been taught aboutit, have they?
And that's the same as you werewith your boss you were so
vulnerable and honest.
They're just appreciative ofthat.
Then they know where they are,what's going on.
So I think, copy you, just comeout and say it.
(29:52):
If you can be brave, use a bitof the rage.
I feel like the, the menopauserage, the lower oestrogen that
makes us, can make us feelreally empowered because we lose
the fluffiness that we've hadall our life of people pleasing
and trying to be, you know the,the loveliest person in the
world all the time you're likeyou know what.
(30:14):
I can't be bothered anymore.
So just tell them like it is ifyou can.
And if you can't quite do that,then practice, practice telling
your friends, ask them whatthey're going through.
Once you open the conversationup, everyone has something to
say and everyone's bursting totalk about it.
(30:40):
I know it must be reallydifficult for a lot of women.
We were brought up not to talkabout our periods in front of
our fathers, not to mention it.
I was told never to mention itto your father kind of thing.
I thought what Thankfully.
I feel like that's changing.
I really hope that's changing.
But yeah, it's like initial.
As soon as it starts happeningwe're told to be quiet and fit
(31:04):
in and not cause a problem.
But you can't hide it, can you?
You just can't hide it anymoreand it's very empowering to talk
about it.
It's empowering every time youmake yourself vulnerable.
That's really empowering foryou.
Like you know, you can um andpeople aren't gonna just push
you away.
And if anyone does talk to you,talk down to you, then you go
(31:27):
up to your boss a level higherand you write them a letter, you
explain it, you send them anemail.
So this has just happened to meand hopefully you have good hr
or you have somebody you cantalk to.
Um, yeah, and I I just worryabout all the women that don't
have any support and, you know,have to struggle through to pay
(31:48):
the rent or whatever, and don'tyou know?
Obviously it's much harder inthe states, isn't it to pay the
rent or whatever?
And don't you know?
Obviously it's much harder inthe states, isn't it to pay for
things for some women.
Oh, it's just, it's not goodenough.
Is it revolution?
Audra (32:02):
yeah, yeah, there's, we're, trust me, we are trying,
we are trying, we're, we are.
We are trying to normalize this, which is why this conversation
needed to happen, because Iwanted to have this out in the
open, because this shouldn't besomething that we whisper about
(32:24):
or not talk about, or feelashamed about or hide or
anything like that, because,like I said, this is not
something that we choose.
This is something that isnatural.
It is something that is normalfor every single woman on the
planet.
It just happens.
It's part of being a woman.
(32:47):
You will go through menopauseyeah, just is and it's and, like
I mentioned, that, for me, themore I try to fight it, the more
stress my body gets, the morethe the symptoms start to
escalate, and I don't want to dothat.
So I just try to go and rollwith it and just, and much to my
(33:13):
surprise, the men that I workwith are like thank you for
telling me Not a big deal,whatever, and for them, they
were just like OK, it's notwhatever.
And I think most men are likecool, whatever, I don't care.
Emma (33:32):
Well, hopefully they're like tell me what you need.
The other.
Audra (33:36):
Some of them have been like that.
Good, some of them have beenlike that.
They've been like do you needsome extra support?
You know what is it.
Do you need me to to jump in?
I'm like, no, don't jump in,just give me a second and I'll
come up with the answer.
Just give me a second and I'llcome up with the answer.
I just need a second to get thewords out of my mouth because
(33:56):
they just I get stressed when Ican't find it, when I can't find
the word, when I can't get itout of my head and out my mouth.
And the more I get stressed,the more you look at me, the
worse it gets.
So give me a minute, let me gettake a breath, and I'll get the
word out my mouth.
Just that's brilliant humanspace.
Emma (34:14):
Yeah, that's brilliant.
And what I think it's really,really important, the men
understand that this is going tobe different for every single
woman.
Every single woman has adifferent experience, a
different mixture of symptoms, adifferent, you know pattern in
it.
It changes throughout yourperimenopause, so much it's not
(34:35):
like you just have perimenopause, but also there's some really
good stuff that comes out of theend of it.
You know, it's not all bad, um,oh no, yeah.
Yeah, I think there's a lot ofdoom and gloom and you know, I
don't know that it's a trickytime.
It's a lot of doom and gloomand you know, I don't know it's
a tricky time.
It's a new time because this isthe first time we've talked
(34:58):
about it.
We've all been talking about itin any space, especially, you
know, online.
There's so many people talkingabout it and there's people
shouting you must fast, you mustdo keto, you must do that, you
must do that.
And it's like, be careful offrom you know who you take your
information from, because itreally is a lot of it is about
(35:20):
stress and a lot of it is about,you know, really managing
stress and learning to find theways that lower stress and
actually not eating is reallystressful for your body, so it's
probably not a good time to dothat, um, but yeah, there's a
lot, there's so much.
It's, it's a lot for everybody.
(35:40):
Um, and I just want it to be, ohgosh, just want somebody in
every company, every company, toget someone in every year like
me to talk to them to say thisis what you can.
These are the hormones involved, these are the symptoms that
might happen.
This is what the nutrition willhelp.
This is the stress managementthat will help.
(36:02):
This is what will help yougoing forward into old age to
keep well.
And then you know, you've gotall those.
Women know how to keepthemselves healthy and stay at
work and they feel empowered bythat knowledge and they can talk
to each other.
They could have a Q&A with meevery month or someone like me.
(36:23):
You know, bring in the, bringin the knowledge.
It's difficult because you Ithink most companies pay men in
suits to come in and talk aboutvarious things.
I mean, I've never worked for abig company, but I'm guessing
there's quite frequent, quitedull conversations.
Not, I was like well, you dohave women working for you.
(36:45):
You might not know this stuff.
Audra (37:03):
Yes, we have a little bit more to go with that.
So what we're left with iswomen having to advocate for
themselves Until we getcorporations to recognize that
(37:34):
women are different than men.
We have to really be there forourselves and for each other,
and you have created some toolsto help us do that.
I know that to be healthy fortoday, through peri and
post-menopause and beyond, so wedon't have brittle bones and
that we can still be activethrough our 80s and and you know
, lord willing through our 90s,what does this checklist help us
(37:54):
do?
Emma (37:55):
so I, I, my company, my, so my business is called your
Menopause Toolkit, so it'sbasically everything.
It's about nutrition, stressmanagement, sleep hygiene,
movement, good movement thathelps your balance, your bone
(38:18):
health, your muscles.
You know, we really should betrying actively to build muscle
at this time because we arelosing muscle every year,
naturally, and so you have to.
You really do have to.
I don't know whose podcast itwas, but I listened to another
podcast the other day with adoctor on it and she said it's
(38:38):
movement should be as much of ahabit as brushing your teeth.
Like strength training at thistime is the best movement and I
know you're doing it.
I love it.
It's also really calming.
It might feel really strange togo into a gym and go into that
men's bit and start liftingweights, but you know what?
(39:00):
Where I go, it's prettyold-fashioned but it's full of
women and they're like everyweek there's another woman in
there lifting, dead lifting, andit's brilliant.
Their faces light up.
It's so fun.
It's really empowering, likementally good for you as well as
being physically good for you.
Um, you really need to doubledown on your nutrition and make
(39:23):
sure you know that you're eatinghealthily um, lots more protein
than you were before, probablybecause nearly everyone's not
eating enough protein.
Um, and then, like we talkedabout the sleep hygiene, there's
a bit more to that.
Yeah, there's just lifestylechoices.
(39:49):
Alcohol is a bit of an elephantin the room.
I don't know how it is in theStates, but in the UK it's a
really big part of our societyand culture to drink alcohol as
a way of winding down, as a wayof ending the difficult day.
It's a way of sort of treatingyourself almost, but actually
it's the enemy of sleep, it'sthe enemy of your cortisol
(40:10):
levels.
It's just not your friend atthis time.
So less and less alcohol is areally good idea.
I hate to be the bearer of thatnews because, you know, we all
probably grew up at a time when,hey, that was equated to fun
and it still lights up that partof our brain and it feels like
(40:31):
it's fun, but it's not reallyfun.
And then you talked about-.
Audra (40:35):
Culture is the same here .
The culture is the same here Inthe US, as it is in the us, as
it is in the uk it's.
You know.
People want to wind down withglass of wine, beer, some sort
of drink yeah whatnot.
Um, so it's the same, but it'syeah, but I I agree.
(40:56):
I know that it makes my hotflashes so much worse, so I
become just a occasional winedrinker, occasional Every once
in a while.
Emma (41:10):
Yeah, that's brilliant.
I think that's really good.
I've actually stopped drinkingbecause I have a slightly low
thyroid, my thyroid's strugglinga little bit, so I've given up
gluten and alcohol at the sametime.
And nobody loved nice bread anda glass of wine more, but I
(41:31):
feel so much better for it.
And I actually write onSubstack and I wrote a little
bit about that and it's nice tosee people's comments on it
because there's a lot of peopledoing the same at this age
because they realize it justdoesn't work for them anymore
and the hangovers feel worseeven from a couple of glasses of
wine.
(41:51):
You feel rubbish the next day.
It affects your mood, itaffects anxiety.
So, sadly, froggy, yeah.
And then going forward for yourbrain health, your bone health
affects everything, affects yourgut lining.
Your gut line is also affectedby less oestrogen.
So your gut health is paramountimportance, as is your liver,
(42:12):
for getting rid of higheroestrogen levels when it spikes.
And it's all that.
You're, all, every part of youis linked together.
Um, and there's, there's a lotto it, but none of it's
difficult to do.
It's a lot of, it's a mindsetkind of the way we talk to
ourselves.
You know if you keep saying, oh, I really want to drink, I love
(42:34):
a drink, oh, but drinks are sonice.
It's going to be ever such alot harder to stop drinking than
if you're saying to yourself Idon don't need alcohol, I'm
going to do a meditation, oh, Ilove meditating, oh, I can't
wait to meditate.
That makes it easier to do theright thing.
You have to change your innervoice and if it's too difficult,
get some help because there'slots of people offering.
(42:55):
You know NLP?
Do you know that in the states?
Neurolinguistic programming Ihave heard of that.
Yes, yeah, I've heard of that.
Really good way of changingyour inner, inner voice and the
way you talk to yourself and thethings you believe you need.
And no, it's, it's, it's allhard because it's all linked to
(43:16):
dopamine.
It's all linked to the happychemicals which we can run low
on.
Also, sunlight gives youserotonin boost.
So get outside as much aspossible.
I'd say go for walks withfriends.
Walking with other women fourwomen really reduces their
cortisol levels.
That doesn't happen for men.
(43:37):
How magic is that?
So when we have a good chatwith another woman, like we are
now, it's good for our cortisollevels.
You always feel better, don'tyou, if you have a nice chat
with a like-minded woman and youcan be honest and vulnerable,
and it's the best medicine.
So yeah, walking outside innature in daylight, walking
(43:59):
outside in nature in daylight,that's a really good, simple,
simple simple thing and this isfantastic.
Audra (44:07):
And everything you just said is easy and free.
Yeah, free, none of it is.
You have to go buy a bunch ofsupplements or you have to do
anything special.
Like I said, I tried thenatural supplements.
They didn't work for me becausemy symptoms were so severe.
(44:28):
I had to do something.
I would have loved to dosomething natural.
I couldn't because they were soawful.
But try the natural first.
Try what Emma's saying firstand see if it works.
What a remarkable thing ifgoing for a walk and being in
(44:50):
nature and serotonin, if thatwill help reduce your symptoms.
What an incredible thing ifthis will help ease how you're
feeling or, if nothing else, itmakes you feel not alone in your
symptoms.
If nothing else, at least youcan have these conversations
with others that are goingthrough things that are similar
(45:12):
to you.
Emma (45:13):
Yeah, absolutely, and know that it will pass, it's not
going to be forever, it's goingto get better.
And and the days you knowdifferent times of the month,
you know when you're stillhaving periods, you're you might
experience much worse pms.
I think you call it, we call itpmt here.
Um, I I think, yeah, thingslike that.
(45:36):
It's like, oh, I'm gonna get aperiod.
I know that.
It's like, oh, I'm going to geta period.
I know that I feel rubbish.
Just double down on everything.
Really, look after yourself.
And you will want sugar and youwill want all the stuff.
You can make some really nicesugar-free cakey stuff that will
(45:56):
give you that comfort foodfeeling with sweet potatoes and
some cocoa powder and some datesor maple syrup.
Maple syrup's probably cheaperwhere you are.
You know there are options.
I know I've personally been notable to afford maple syrup, so
(46:23):
I'm aware of my privilege nowthat I can.
And I know some people in theStates live so far away from a
shop that would sell anythinghealthy.
Audra (46:32):
They don't really have a choice but to buy awful food,
and that's just heartbreaking,isn it yeah, it is, and trust me
, the maple syrup syrup, thereal maple syrup, isn't that
much cheaper here.
So it's not.
It's not.
It's little bottles.
Little bottles are are just asexpensive as they probably are
(46:54):
in the uk.
So no, they're not.
Emma (46:56):
They're not cheap here either oh, I guess it's got a
long way to come from Vermont.
Audra (47:02):
Yeah, the good stuff is worth it.
It is definitely worth it thanthe fake stuff, I assure you.
Emma (47:11):
Yeah, yeah, watch out.
Another good tip actually isread the ingredients.
Read the ingredients list onanything you buy, and if you
can't pronounce it or you don'tknow what it is, it's not food
and don't eat it.
That's very simple.
Try and make your own food.
Eat more simple food.
(47:31):
Eat vegetables, fiber for yourgut.
You know it's kind of goingback in time.
Food it's just real food ratherthan processed.
And xenoestrogens are hormonedisruptors in things like
plug-in air fresheners, thethings we put on our skin,
(47:57):
makeup, candles, all thehorrible in-car air fresheners.
Avoid all that stuff becausethey mess with your hormones and
make everything worse.
There's an app actually calledYucca.
I don't know.
I guess apps are everywhere,aren't they?
Would it be?
Apps are everywhere, yeah, andthat tells you what the toxic
(48:21):
load of different things is.
So you scan.
Oh yeah, I think you scan thething.
I've not used it yet, but youscan it and I'm actually going
to use it with my daughterbecause she's a teenager and she
wants to use all the rubbish,so I thought maybe that will
scare her to not using it.
Um, it tells you how cleanthings are and how or how dirty
(48:44):
they are and how bad they are,because we'll have to check that
out.
Yeah, it'll be reallyinteresting being kind of told
things good for us and they'renot.
It's, it's, you know, dodgy.
So take responsibility for yourhealth and your well-being and
don't let anyone tell youotherwise at work or anywhere
(49:06):
else, really, without gettingsacked.
Audra (49:10):
Yeah, exactly, you had said something that I think is
very true that menopause eventhough there's a lot of of
things that happen that are outof our control, the one good
thing that is totally in mycontrol that has come out of
being in menopause is that I'vetaken better care of myself.
(49:31):
Being in menopause because I'vehad no other choice.
For the first time since I havebecome a mother, I have become
a priority because I've had noother choice.
This whole menopause thinghappened to also coincide the
necessity have now aligned thatI've taken more sensitive to
everything that I eat now.
(49:52):
Things that I used to be ableto eat I can no longer eat.
(50:33):
I cannot eat processed likenormal off-the-shelf peanut
butter anymore.
It rips apart my stomach.
I can eat raw, natural peanutbutter.
We have a store here calledTrader Joe's.
I don't know if you have it inthe UK, but they have this, they
have natural nut butter, so Ican eat that.
(50:55):
But you know the regularnational brands of peanut butter
that I know you guys have themin in the uk.
They're all over the world.
Can't eat it.
No, makes me ill, makes me veryill.
So now I have to pay attentionto things that are overly
processed, I cannot eat it.
It makes me so ill because ofbecause of menopause, I can't
(51:18):
eat, I cannot comfortably eatprocessed food anymore.
Emma (51:23):
No, well, that's like less against wise.
You know it, sure is it, sureis the disguise, but it is a
blessing in disguise, I think.
Yeah, it is linked to your gut.
It's linked to your gut, soyour gut lining becomes thinner
and more permeable and that canlead to all kinds of trouble.
(51:46):
So you have to double down onyour gut health.
Um, oh, bless you.
Yeah, I think the same ishappening to me.
Actually, much more sensitivegut and, like, like I said, I
can't have gluten anymore.
It's just a terrible thing.
Just dream about quesadillas, Iknow.
Audra (52:06):
So if anybody else is starting to notice a sensitivity
to certain foods that you usedto be able to eat with no
problem especially us Americansthat we were raised on peanut
butter and it's pretty much ineverything that we were raised
on peanut butter and it's prettymuch on in everything that we
eat, if you can't digest thethings that you used to be able
to digest, maybe it's becauseyou're in menopause.
(52:28):
Who knows?
Emma (52:29):
it's low oxygen and yeah, yeah, I mean as organic as
possible.
Lower the toxic load as much asyou can afford to by the best
you can afford.
Audra (52:42):
Yes, that's exactly what I've been doing and it has made
a difference.
It has definitely made adifference.
This is not easy, but we're allin this together, as long as we
keep having these conversationsand we keep making this
accessible, making this normal,and that we don't make this a
(53:03):
big deal Meaning what we'regoing through is a big deal, but
not making it a big deal totalk to each other about it and
to talk about others about it,and letting everybody know that
this is a normal thing and we'llget through this and it's we'll
do this together.
That is why I appreciate thework that you do.
Emma (53:25):
Oh, thank you, Audra.
It's been really good to beable to talk to you again and
open up about all these things.
Audra (53:33):
Absolutely and before I.
I'm so appreciative because youmade me feel normal during a
time that I was not feelingnormal, I was feeling completely
out of control and because ofthe work that you do and the
post that you were putting outthere, I felt like I was in good
company and it got me through aperiod of time where it was
(53:55):
really rough and I knew I justhad to hang on until I could
balance out my hormones and thatI could feel like a whole
person again.
And it was because you made mefeel seen, Even though you
didn't know me I hadn't reachedout to you yet you made me feel
like you knew what I was goingthrough.
(54:16):
So I appreciate that.
Emma (54:18):
Oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate you, thank you.
Audra (54:23):
So, before I let you go, I want to make sure that
everybody knows where they cancontact you, where they can
reach out to you If they havequestions, if they want to know
more about your program, wherecan they reach out to you?
So?
Emma (54:36):
my is your menopause toolkit.
My name is emma seville, as inseville, the city in spain, um,
and I'm on instagram your yourmenopause toolkit, and I'm on
linkedin, and, yeah, there's.
There's links to all that on myinstagram, um, and I have a sub
(54:57):
stack page where I write aweekly piece about some kind of
aspects of menopause, with,hopefully, some help in it, and
that's free.
You can subscribe and get it inyour email folder every Sunday
morning, uk time.
So I'm not sure when that isfor you I don't know which day
you're in Audra, um, yeah, whichday?
Audra (55:20):
it is monday morning here.
Emma (55:22):
So we, I believe we are like nine hours behind you okay,
so you'd get out on a saturdaynight, I think, or in the middle
of the night?
Um, yeah, and that's free.
So please sign up for that.
Yeah, I'd love to see if yousend me a message on my
(55:43):
Instagram.
I'd love to chat to anybodywith any questions or thoughts,
and I offer a free call,actually a free hours
consultation with me, where wecan run through all your
symptoms and I'll give you somehelp with your worst one, and
then we talk about ways youcould maybe work with me if
you'd like to.
So, yeah, lots of ways to getin touch and I'd love to hear
(56:05):
from anybody.
Audra (56:07):
Thank you, I will make sure that all of those links in
order to get in contact withEmma are all in the show notes.
I highly recommend that youreach out to Emma if you're
experiencing any symptoms orjust want to talk to her because
you're having questions orconcerns or anything.
She's highly accessible,obviously, because she answered
(56:30):
me and I was a complete strangerand she didn't think I was a
weirdo.
So I highly encourage you to dothat, emma, one more time
before I let you go.
This is a favorite part of myshow where I get to turn over
the microphone to you, where youget to have an intimate moment
directly with the audience, soyou can leave them a lasting
(56:52):
thought, to give them someencouragement to go throughout
their day.
So the mic is yours.
Emma (56:57):
What should I say?
I want all the women out theregoing through perimenopause or
who have reached menopause andstill having a few symptoms.
I want you to know as much aspossible about what is going on
in your brain and body, to feelas empowered as possible, to
(57:18):
never feel any sense of shameabout all this.
It's perfectly normal.
It's perfectly natural andyou're all superheroes and you
deserve the best Women rock.
That's my final word.
Audra (57:32):
I mean, that's a perfect word, emma.
Once again, thank you so muchfor spending this morning with
me and being willing to betransparent and vulnerable and
talk about a topic that weshould be able to talk about
openly anyway, and I can't thankyou enough for being so willing
to do it.
So thank you for joining me.
Emma (57:52):
Oh, thank you for having me.
It's been absolutely brilliant.
Thank you so much, Audra.
Audra (57:57):
Thank you, and I want to thank all of you for listening
and we'll see you again nexttime.
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