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November 28, 2019 4 mins

How to give thanks all year round

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is about how practically to build a gratitude
practice well. It's easy to get distracted by what's hard
or frustrating. Things tend to go better and we tend

(00:26):
to be happier when we focus on what's going well.
In his book Flourish, psychologist Martin Seligman, one of the
founders of the field of positive psychology, proposes a daily
routine he calls what went Well or the Three Blessings.
Every day, he advises write down three things big or small,
that went well. Some examples might be things like my

(00:48):
top choice candidate accepted our job offer, I had a
great lunch with a new colleague, and my spouse offered
to handle the grocery shopping for the cook out we're
having with neighbors this weekend. The second part of the exercise,
which Seligman says is essential, is to articulate why each
of these things went well. So, for example, you might

(01:09):
note that the top choice candidate accepted the job offer
because she valued the mentoring your firm offers. As for
that great lunch. It happened because you appreciated spending time
with colleagues when you were new, so you make sure
to invite new hires to things, and your spouse offered
to handle the grocery shopping because he values your time
well and because he loves a reason to go to costco.

(01:32):
Writing down what went well helps us focus on all
the things that we have to be grateful for, and
talking about why these things went well helps us acknowledge
the positive role others play and making things go well
in our life, like the spouse who values and equal partnership,
or the colleagues who welcomed you when you were new.

(01:52):
We pause and appreciate these people rather than taking them
for granted. Writing down why things went well also helps
us notice what we ourselves do to make things turn
out well, like paying attention to what a job applicant
wants and highlighting how our firm offers it. What we
do in our lives matters, and connecting our past actions

(02:15):
to positive outcomes builds our sense of agency and our
motivation to make smart choices in the future. Now, obviously,
it makes the most sense to write down what went
well as an end of day ritual. The whether that's
the end of the work day or the end of
the actual day is up to you. You could make
something like this a daily ritual in your family, with

(02:37):
everybody logging what went well in a family notebook as
you're gathering for dinner or to say goodnight. Today is
Thanksgiving Day in the United States, in which the whole
day is theoretically focused on giving thanks and that's great,
but it's noticing the day to day good stuff of
life that really makes us happier and ultimately more grateful.

(03:00):
So by all means, count your blessings as you cut
the turkey, but take a moment to notice what goes
well tomorrow too, and the next day and the next day,
and pretty soon you'll be seeing a lot more of
these positive things. In the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks
for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

(03:28):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod
that's B the number four then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
Podcast at I heeart media dot Com that Before Breakfast

(03:51):
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,
I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is
a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from
I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H

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Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam

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