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January 13, 2025 26 mins

Hi beautiful! ♥️

Have you ever felt the weight of unforgiveness, shame, or rejection holding you back? Maybe you didn’t even realize they were there, but something just feels... heavy. Sis, I get it—these three have a sneaky way of shaping how we live, love, and even see ourselves.

In this episode, we’re going DEEP in the truth about these big 3 and how they impact your life (prob more than you realize).

You’ll learn: 💔 What unforgiveness, shame, and rejection really are ✨ How to recognize if they’re still showing up in your life 🕊️ Practical, faith-filled steps to break free and move forward

I’ll share personal stories (spoiler: I’ve had to work through all of these too) and biblical truths to help you find healing. You don’t have to carry these burdens anymore—freedom is waiting for you, my love!

Grab your journal, and let’s work towards healing together.

Xo,

Dani

 

JOIN THE FREE COMMUNITY: https://whop.com/thehealingcircle/

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

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(00:00):
.3373160001Hey, beautiful man. 2 00:00:01,913.3373160001 --> 00:00:04,463.3373160001 We are talking about the big three today. 3 00:00:04,707.4689848188 --> 00:00:14,577.468984819 You know, if we're honest, most of us, if not all of us have pushed through life with all of these things within us at some point. 4 00:00:14,802.468984819 --> 00:00:17,542.468984819 Unforgiveness, shame and rejection. 5 00:00:18,12.468984819 --> 00:00:25,842.468984819 Maybe it's been unknowingly or you were well aware that you had shame, rejection and unforgiveness within you. 6 00:00:26,142.468984819 --> 00:00:30,902.468984819 Um, but you just didn't know how to address it and how to heal from it. 7 00:00:31,136.386257429 --> 00:00:39,734.442621716 maybe you experienced all three at the same time or in three different periods of your life. 8 00:00:40,83.471058108 --> 00:00:43,343.472558108 And man, I don't even, honestly don't even think I have to tell you. 9 00:00:43,343.472558108 --> 00:00:50,352.230975637 I think you already know, but these three things have such a larger impact than what you could even imagine. 10 00:00:50,662.230975637 --> 00:01:05,482.230975637 And this is exactly what we're going to cover today because when I say that the enemy uses these three things, these are footholds for the enemy to have a hold over you and to be invited in and to create so much chaos in your life. 11 00:01:05,942.230975637 --> 00:01:07,772.130975637 That's exactly what these three things do. 12 00:01:08,245.831977412 --> 00:01:21,95.831977412 So we're going to cover what unforgiveness, what shame and rejection are, how you know you are living with it in your life today, and then how to break free from each one individually. 13 00:01:21,525.831977412 --> 00:01:25,935.831977412 You definitely want to grab your journal for this one, okay? Let's go ahead and get to it. 14 00:01:26,215.847115267 --> 00:01:31,255.847115267 Hey beautiful! Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 15 00:01:31,375.847115267 --> 00:01:54,75.84711527 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 16 00:01:54,125.84611527 --> 00:01:55,665.84611527 Well, sis, you're not alone. 17 00:01:55,735.84711527 --> 00:01:56,865.84711527 I've been there, too. 18 00:01:56,975.84711527 --> 00:02:04,145.84711527 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 19 00:02:04,265.84711527 --> 00:02:15,405.84711527 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships, and searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 20 00:02:15,445.84711527 --> 00:02:20,975.84711527 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 21 00:02:21,140.84711527 --> 00:02:36,320.84711527 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 22 00:02:36,460.84611527 --> 00:02:39,430.84711527 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 23 00:02:39,560.84711527 --> 00:02:45,580.84711527 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 24 00:02:46,75.26356801 --> 00:02:57,825.26306801 I can't even contain my excitement! There is something so exciting that's going to be coming soon, very, very soon, in February, but not quite ready to announce it yet. 25 00:02:57,825.26306801 --> 00:03:10,35.28960967 We are finalizing a few things, but if you want to make sure that you are, here when I announce it, when we launch it, go ahead and come join the free community. 26 00:03:10,262.93786764 --> 00:03:33,452.93786764 And the free community is so much more than just staying up to date with new things that happen This is where you can get resources to help you in your healing journey Where you can have a community and get support and then ask your follow up questions after you listen to the training So if you have questions or a personal Experience and situation that you want to workshop. 27 00:03:33,782.93786764 --> 00:03:49,313.41578721 This is the perfect place to get some support from me for free It's just a way of giving back to say, I appreciate you for being a listener and I just really want to help you through the topics that we discuss all throughout the podcast. 28 00:03:49,643.41678721 --> 00:03:56,303.41578721 I know how tough it can be going through the healing journey on your own, figuring out life on your own, your next steps. 29 00:03:56,593.41678721 --> 00:04:03,413.41678721 And I just want to be able to provide as much support as possible to you with where you are in this whole process. 30 00:04:03,801.26834971 --> 00:04:06,372.04983117 So you can join the community over at wop. 31 00:04:06,852.04983117 --> 00:04:09,512.04983117 com forward slash the healing circle. 32 00:04:09,762.04983117 --> 00:04:12,522.04883117 That's wop w h o p. 33 00:04:12,942.04983117 --> 00:04:15,272.04983117 com slash the healing circle. 34 00:04:15,950.13949536 --> 00:04:44,414.68727078 on your toes because I have a feeling this is gonna be something that Is gonna be so beneficial for you, and I can't wait until we're ready to announce it Okay, you know, when thinking about a time in my life when I was experiencing any of these, unforgiveness, shame, rejection, and I have many moments when I've felt so much shame from a sin that I committed or not giving to someone that was asking for money on the side of the road. 35 00:04:44,804.68727078 --> 00:04:53,334.68727078 And at this point, you know, you guys probably already know about the abortion that I had and how I carried a ton of shame from that. 36 00:04:53,539.38380371 --> 00:05:00,109.38380371 And if you don't, if this is your first time hearing about that, I share all about it in one of the very first episodes of the show. 37 00:05:00,169.38380371 --> 00:05:05,389.38380371 I believe it's episode 2 or 3, so you can scroll down to listen to it if that's something that interests you. 38 00:05:06,89.38280371 --> 00:05:15,179.38380371 But I want to talk about more of like a recent like happening this year, when I had like this moment of shame. 39 00:05:15,447.90863692 --> 00:05:22,238.67303733 The shame that I experienced, it led to me having unforgiveness towards myself. 40 00:05:22,528.67303733 --> 00:05:25,618.67303733 It was really hard to forgive myself for the thing that I did. 41 00:05:26,48.67303733 --> 00:05:31,998.67303733 And the reason that I did the thing, it was because I was fearful of being rejected. 42 00:05:32,508.67303733 --> 00:05:37,828.67303733 So, it was kind of an interesting way of including all three of these aspects. 43 00:05:37,878.67303733 --> 00:05:49,218.67303733 Um, and so, I want to share with you, this was, I was out traveling with a family member and I felt pressure to dress a certain way. 44 00:05:49,898.67303733 --> 00:05:53,768.67203733 And I knew that I shouldn't have. 45 00:05:54,143.67303733 --> 00:05:59,363.67303733 Um, I knew that what I was putting on my body was not glorifying the lord. 46 00:05:59,743.67303733 --> 00:06:14,2.4718989 It was this swimsuit and I knew I was going to be around like not just women and I I chose to put it on it wasn't one that I I brought a family member to She loaned it to me. 47 00:06:14,2.4718989 --> 00:06:15,122.4718989 It was one of hers. 48 00:06:15,522.4718989 --> 00:06:19,222.4718989 And you know, I felt, I felt sexy in it. 49 00:06:19,482.4718989 --> 00:06:21,562.4718989 I was like, wow, this looks really good. 50 00:06:21,892.4718989 --> 00:06:26,302.4708989 But I knew that it was not covering all enough. 51 00:06:26,332.4708989 --> 00:06:28,222.4718989 It was not covering all the things that I needed to cover. 52 00:06:28,602.4718989 --> 00:06:35,392.4718989 And I knew that, okay, this is not what God would want me to wear, but I walked out of that room and wore it anyway. 53 00:06:36,118.80759798 --> 00:06:51,963.80759798 And that was something that I dwelled on for So long after, like a week or two after, it kept coming up, and I felt so ashamed, because it was like, Danielle, you knew better. 54 00:06:52,543.80759798 --> 00:06:54,513.80759798 Like, these voices in my head, like, you knew better. 55 00:06:54,673.80759798 --> 00:07:02,300.47426464 Like, you've been walking with the Lord for three years, like, you, you talk about this, like, you know God has called you to be more modest, and, you knew better. 56 00:07:02,310.47426464 --> 00:07:08,10.47426464 Why would you fall into that? Like, that is such a, that is such a dumb thing to fall into. 57 00:07:08,425.47426464 --> 00:07:22,505.47426464 Right and it made me question my relationship with god and my integrity and like my faith And I remember, you know, I I was like, I need to tell my friend about this because I This is really like this is harming me. 58 00:07:22,545.47326464 --> 00:07:35,431.42383255 This is eating me up I cried about it and that might sound silly to some but I just really felt just a lot of shame from it And so I remember I called my friend I told her and she was so She was so kind. 59 00:07:35,751.13686199 --> 00:07:38,801.13686199 her words are so gentle and with truth. 60 00:07:39,151.13686199 --> 00:07:42,451.13586199 And I remember her telling me, she said, Don't let this break you. 61 00:07:43,51.13686199 --> 00:07:44,911.13586199 You know who you are. 62 00:07:45,31.13686199 --> 00:07:46,81.13686199 God loves you. 63 00:07:46,161.13686199 --> 00:07:50,246.93038796 Maybe it wasn't what you needed to wear, but don't let that break you. 64 00:07:50,306.93138796 --> 00:07:52,686.93038796 This doesn't define your relationship with God. 65 00:07:52,686.93038796 --> 00:07:53,921.83038796 It doesn't define you. 66 00:07:54,232.33590931 --> 00:08:04,56.63559742 And she actually switched the perspective to tell me how beautiful it is that you're feeling this conviction from the Lord, even about this. 67 00:08:04,66.63559742 --> 00:08:12,215.65108546 Like you're, you're feeling, pain by this and as you're reflecting on it, and that just speaks levels to your relationship with God. 68 00:08:13,180.65108546 --> 00:08:15,220.65108546 And that was what I needed to hear. 69 00:08:15,230.65108546 --> 00:08:17,230.65108546 I needed my friend in that moment. 70 00:08:17,240.65108546 --> 00:08:21,210.65108546 I needed those words to drown out what the enemy was telling me. 71 00:08:21,930.65108546 --> 00:08:24,520.65008546 And so I understand shame. 72 00:08:24,660.65108546 --> 00:08:28,690.65108546 I understand the weight of rejection and being wounded by rejection. 73 00:08:28,700.65108546 --> 00:08:31,606.43346743 So that way you're afraid to be rejected, in the future. 74 00:08:32,269.15527691 --> 00:08:37,409.06650169 And I understand what it's like to hold unforgiveness towards yourself and towards other people. 75 00:08:37,892.63580937 --> 00:08:53,262.63580937 And so now I want to hopefully bring some awareness to you if you are walking around with this secret pain inside and you are afraid to tell anybody about it or you know, no one is there to speak that life into you. 76 00:08:54,12.63580937 --> 00:09:04,432.63580937 And that maybe you're at a place where you're not really sure if you are walking around with these things and you want to know so that way you can flush these things out of you and get them out of your heart. 77 00:09:04,711.59929621 --> 00:09:06,531.59929621 This is exactly what we're going to talk about today. 78 00:09:06,927.57784083 --> 00:09:11,517.57784083 first up, going big, talking about unforgiveness. 79 00:09:12,547.57784083 --> 00:09:21,937.57684083 Now I'm sure you've heard unforgiveness talked about as having unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and expecting the other person to die. 80 00:09:22,297.57684083 --> 00:09:25,147.57784083 It is literally poison to your soul. 81 00:09:25,324.2445075 --> 00:09:30,374.2445075 And unforgiveness comes after an offense has taken place. 82 00:09:30,878.57574685 --> 00:09:39,587.05972416 And so what the offense does to us it slashes through our, our defenses, and hurts us in that moment. 83 00:09:39,775.15868249 --> 00:09:44,510.89878382 But the aftermath, what happens after the offense is unforgiveness. 84 00:09:44,530.89878382 --> 00:09:47,510.89878382 That, that creeps in and that takes over your heart. 85 00:09:47,540.89878382 --> 00:09:48,650.89878382 It gets stuck there. 86 00:09:48,690.89878382 --> 00:09:50,90.89878382 You get stuck in unforgiveness. 87 00:09:50,643.16210488 --> 00:09:57,743.16210488 And so when unforgiveness gets stuck in you, it totally taints your thoughts and clouds your vision. 88 00:09:58,63.7773563 --> 00:10:02,833.7773563 I want to read you Proverbs 18, 19, because when I heard this, it was crazy to me. 89 00:10:03,49.17682451 --> 00:10:12,259.17682451 It says, A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle. 90 00:10:12,594.28924218 --> 00:10:13,914.29024218 So think, think about this. 91 00:10:13,924.29024218 --> 00:10:15,804.29024218 Think about a city surrounded by walls. 92 00:10:16,64.29024218 --> 00:10:24,944.29024218 The wall's purpose, of course, is to protect the city, and we use the same thinking to try to protect ourselves by placing walls around our hearts. 93 00:10:25,874.29024218 --> 00:10:31,204.29024218 And, you know, it's because, okay, well this person may have hurt me once, but we're not gonna allow them to do that again. 94 00:10:31,469.07174886 --> 00:10:37,619.07174886 And so you putting up these walls, thinking that it's going to help you, but it actually, it hurts you. 95 00:10:37,639.07174886 --> 00:10:42,879.07174886 Because the truth is, God never meant for, for you to protect yourself. 96 00:10:43,279.07074886 --> 00:10:44,959.07074886 That is His responsibility. 97 00:10:45,259.07174886 --> 00:11:20,798.79316655 Because when we have these walls around our hearts, We're not only like protecting or trying to protecting ourselves from pain and rejection But we keep ourselves from experiencing love and life giving relationships And so unforgiveness honestly is like you are you are putting over your your control and your power into the hands of somebody else Who doesn't even know that they have the power over you? Because your peace of mind, your ability to love, your ability to receive love is all in the hands of this other person that you are choosing to not forgive. 98 00:11:20,941.47125786 --> 00:11:27,861.47025786 And I know this is going to be hard for a lot of people, very hard step, but it's probably one of the most freeing steps you can take in your walk with Christ. 99 00:11:28,88.72358767 --> 00:11:31,298.72358767 Forgiveness is not a suggestion from God. 100 00:11:31,588.72458767 --> 00:11:32,818.72458767 It's a command from him. 101 00:11:33,142.82853464 --> 00:11:38,909.11951941 And it's a command from him because he knows that on the other side of forgiveness is freedom. 102 00:11:39,105.71114907 --> 00:11:40,695.71114907 It's for our benefit. 103 00:11:40,928.37435581 --> 00:11:45,78.37535581 Ephesians 4 31 through 32 tells us to forgive. 104 00:11:45,305.22370117 --> 00:11:49,295.22370117 it tells us to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger and harsh words and slander. 105 00:11:49,433.90287595 --> 00:11:55,63.90287595 And tells us to be kind and tender hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as we have been forgiven. 106 00:11:55,341.91232392 --> 00:11:58,241.91132392 And we can have a talk about forgiveness often. 107 00:11:58,501.91132392 --> 00:12:02,621.91132392 We can have a whole episode on this, but I want to give you some, some action steps on how to forgive. 108 00:12:03,198.1146529 --> 00:12:08,48.1146529 So this is stuff you can do daily, right? And forgiveness is a daily decision. 109 00:12:08,48.1146529 --> 00:12:18,926.38907268 If you have to forgive the same person over and over and over again, every time like the offense comes up and unforgiveness or like hurt tries to come up, you just have to choose forgiveness. 110 00:12:19,111.25945863 --> 00:12:24,124.09715091 And something freeing is that You don't have to even feel like you've forgiven them. 111 00:12:24,464.09715091 --> 00:12:29,414.09715091 You just continue to make the decision to forgive, and your feelings will follow. 112 00:12:29,694.09715091 --> 00:12:34,134.09715091 Your choices lead, you choose to forgive, and your feelings will eventually follow. 113 00:12:34,484.09615091 --> 00:12:36,914.09715091 And so, here's what forgiveness looks like in action. 114 00:12:37,224.09715091 --> 00:12:40,824.09715091 Step number one, you want to pray for people who have offended you. 115 00:12:41,134.68331258 --> 00:12:46,484.45266543 Matthew 5, 43 through 44 tells us, To pray for those who persecute us. 116 00:12:46,684.45266543 --> 00:12:47,784.45266543 Pray for our enemies. 117 00:12:47,794.45266543 --> 00:12:53,909.66182753 So, what do we do? We believe that what he's telling us is for our own benefit, because it is. 118 00:12:54,369.66182753 --> 00:12:55,229.66082753 And then we follow. 119 00:12:55,479.66182753 --> 00:12:57,59.66182753 So pray for people who have offended you. 120 00:12:57,269.66182753 --> 00:13:00,459.66182753 Number two, bless people who have offended you. 121 00:13:00,459.76182753 --> 00:13:05,689.66182753 Because Luke 6, 27 through 28 tells us to go that extra mile. 122 00:13:06,79.66182753 --> 00:13:09,989.00864837 And two, do good to those that we hate. 123 00:13:10,139.00864837 --> 00:13:12,789.00864837 And you may not hate this person, but you're hurt by them. 124 00:13:12,889.18617278 --> 00:13:14,769.18617278 So they can be considered an enemy to you. 125 00:13:14,769.18617278 --> 00:13:16,19.18617278 They're an enemy to your soul. 126 00:13:16,246.34823056 --> 00:13:23,693.03462581 So bless them and bless just means speak well of, use your words to uplift them even when they're not in the room. 127 00:13:24,18.94209063 --> 00:13:28,43.12230594 And then number three, do good to people who have offended you. 128 00:13:28,326.51915814 --> 00:13:34,975.86774378 And so instead of repaying evil for evil, you make the decision to only do good to others. 129 00:13:35,146.85651284 --> 00:13:37,416.85751284 And this, my friends, is what sets you apart. 130 00:13:37,661.01992089 --> 00:13:40,188.87043302 This is the life of a Christian woman. 131 00:13:40,551.62061834 --> 00:13:46,11.62061834 So I'm not gonna lie, this step definitely requires a different, it requires a change of thinking on your part. 132 00:13:46,451.62061834 --> 00:13:59,116.67687575 And so I want you to, like your actions up here, I want you to journal, And ask yourself, are there any people in your life that you have not released the Lord and that you're trying to get revenge for their offense? And then allow the Lord to allow names to come up for you. 133 00:13:59,116.67687575 --> 00:14:10,992.27585451 Write those names down and then pray, pray for that person and ask God to help you forgive them, confess that you have held on to this unforgiveness, confess that to the Lord and ask Him to set you free from it. 134 00:14:11,320.53707719 --> 00:14:18,327.98396828 And if you are someone who is struggling to forgive yourself, episode 69 goes deeper into how to start forgiving yourself. 135 00:14:18,719.85733148 --> 00:14:20,529.85733148 Now let's move into talking about shame. 136 00:14:20,847.10325447 --> 00:14:27,506.77447175 Shame, makes us afraid to turn to God and allow Him to search us. 137 00:14:27,710.53994205 --> 00:14:30,700.80178964 It makes us feel like we, we have to hide. 138 00:14:30,890.80178964 --> 00:14:37,700.70278964 We have to hide what we've done because we have this intense feeling that we're unworthy now. 139 00:14:37,700.80278964 --> 00:14:39,650.80278964 We're unworthy of love and acceptance. 140 00:14:40,130.80278964 --> 00:14:52,369.60354655 Which makes, which causes us to live in this shame, and this may help you because sharing the difference between shame and guilt because these two go hand in hand and we kind of get them mixed up. 141 00:14:52,608.83790918 --> 00:14:54,978.83790918 Guilt is about what we have done. 142 00:14:55,347.70844099 --> 00:15:03,254.4323029 Guilt says, okay, I made a mistake, right? You have this guilt feeling that which leads you to identify, okay, I've made a mistake. 143 00:15:03,608.93544413 --> 00:15:05,408.83644413 So guilt's not bad. 144 00:15:05,408.93644413 --> 00:15:14,838.83644413 What's bad is when that guilt turns to shame and now because of that guilt and because we have made a mistake, we now label ourselves as guilty. 145 00:15:15,178.93644413 --> 00:15:22,468.93644413 Based off of that mistake and now instead of saying, I made a mistake, we say, I am a mistake. 146 00:15:22,668.93644413 --> 00:15:27,98.93644413 We make that thing part of our identity or affect our identity. 147 00:15:27,431.18505854 --> 00:15:30,511.18505854 and this is really a perspective shift that I want you to have. 148 00:15:30,811.18505854 --> 00:15:44,367.2238798 And you must know that shame has to do with God, not us, because, If you can see that God is actually a loving God, it will make you run to Him. 149 00:15:44,630.34980765 --> 00:15:49,510.34880765 So when you're feeling shame, the answer does not lie within you, it lies within the Lord. 150 00:15:49,733.81754527 --> 00:15:55,763.81854527 When we know how loving our God is, it will allow us to run into His arms. 151 00:15:56,0.54564593 --> 00:15:58,800.54564593 Not how good we are, how good our God is. 152 00:15:59,331.61756052 --> 00:16:03,921.61756052 So I want you to really meditate on that truth and this is going to help you move away from shame. 153 00:16:04,195.24174725 --> 00:16:08,944.5637391 If you are questioning if you're living with shame, I want to share some ways you know. 154 00:16:09,333.70189002 --> 00:16:15,100.72059277 If you feel like you have to be the one to fix things, If you feel like you're not good enough, that you'll never be good enough. 155 00:16:15,630.72059277 --> 00:16:17,760.72059277 If you struggle with the same sin. 156 00:16:18,260.32047011 --> 00:16:23,350.32047011 That shame is what pulls us back into committing the same sin over and over again. 157 00:16:23,740.32047011 --> 00:16:24,570.32047011 It's the shame. 158 00:16:25,227.00779197 --> 00:16:32,407.00779197 If you find yourself saying sorry over and over and over again, this is an indication you are living with some shame. 159 00:16:33,286.00375945 --> 00:16:38,646.00275945 If you state things like, Ugh, I always fill in the blank. 160 00:16:39,326.00275945 --> 00:16:41,696.0027595 Oh, I never fill in the blank. 161 00:16:42,234.1092725 --> 00:16:49,43.9153087 If you have this inkling, this desire and belief that you must fix things with works, you possibly are living with shame. 162 00:16:49,437.1900788 --> 00:17:03,32.1900788 If you have this inability to be honest, you have this deep insecurity, if your identity is in your sin or mental illness, This is indications that you may be living with shame. 163 00:17:03,412.1900788 --> 00:17:14,695.1189688 And then, a big one, if you play videos in your mind over and over and over again, you possibly are carrying shame from the thing that you did back then, in that moment. 164 00:17:15,145.7962767 --> 00:17:22,375.0432523 Okay? If you identify with any of those, then this would be a good time to say a prayer to release that shame. 165 00:17:22,931.4240259 --> 00:17:27,151.4240259 And I want to give you some hope, right? And some, and some truth here. 166 00:17:27,421.4240259 --> 00:17:30,231.4240259 Because the truth is what's going to set you free. 167 00:17:30,658.5253539 --> 00:17:35,188.5253539 I want you to know that being a Christ follower is about what has already been done. 168 00:17:35,548.925808 --> 00:17:37,408.925808 Okay? It's about what's been done already. 169 00:17:37,628.925808 --> 00:17:40,418.926808 It's not about what you can do for God. 170 00:17:40,928.926808 --> 00:17:43,288.926808 It's not what a Christ follower, it's not what it's about. 171 00:17:43,636.2075279 --> 00:18:01,786.2075279 And what shame does, it robs our ability to change because when we live in this shame, we commit a sin, we feel guilty, it turns into shame, we live in that shame, we dwell in that shame, it pulls us back to do the same sin over and over again because now guess what? It's part of your identity. 172 00:18:01,976.2075279 --> 00:18:07,666.2075279 And when you identify with something, with something that you've done, with an action, you go back to do that same action. 173 00:18:08,74.365753 --> 00:18:09,424.365753 Take a smoker for example. 174 00:18:10,34.365753 --> 00:18:30,978.6821745 Say you're trying to quit smoking and you've identified with smoking forever and then you quit, right, you're trying really hard in your own strength to get out of that, out of the smoking and you fall back into it and instead of going to God, asking Him for forgiveness and like really moving into His hope that He gives you freely you tell yourself, Oh my gosh, I fell again. 175 00:18:31,275.1142681 --> 00:18:32,435.1142681 I can't believe I did that. 176 00:18:32,755.0004606 --> 00:18:34,295.0004606 I'm, I'm, I'm a smoker. 177 00:18:34,355.0004606 --> 00:18:35,315.0004606 I'm a failure. 178 00:18:35,775.0004606 --> 00:18:37,352.3051481 It's going to pull you back to smoking. 179 00:18:37,955.0050689 --> 00:18:45,733.8164205 I want to share with you second Corinthians 3 16 to 18, but whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 180 00:18:46,73.8174205 --> 00:19:09,759.5250559 Now the Lord is the spirit and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom and we all who With unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory are being transformed into his image with ever increasing glory Which comes from the Lord who is the Spirit? We live with the Spirit of God and where the Spirit of God is there is freedom That freedom is already yours. 181 00:19:09,759.5250559 --> 00:19:11,339.5255559 You just have to claim it. 182 00:19:11,379.5255559 --> 00:19:20,151.2062507 You just have to take it Now I want to share with you how to get freedom from shame You first have to let go of what you are hiding. 183 00:19:20,351.2062507 --> 00:19:22,521.2062507 Bring what you are hiding into the light. 184 00:19:22,731.2062507 --> 00:19:31,261.0978001 I was just reading in, in, um, in 2 Samuel today about David's biggest sin with Bathsheba and then murdering her husband. 185 00:19:31,544.7601414 --> 00:19:37,454.7044962 he talked about in, in his Psalms that he was concealing his transgression. 186 00:19:37,454.7044962 --> 00:19:40,784.7049962 He was concealing his sin and he was rotting from the inside out. 187 00:19:41,379.7049962 --> 00:19:42,309.7049962 He was living with shame. 188 00:19:42,806.6811239 --> 00:19:43,626.6811239 Didn't turn to God. 189 00:19:44,245.2023032 --> 00:19:49,591.0866726 And when he did decide to turn to God, He confessed that sin to God. 190 00:19:50,181.0866726 --> 00:19:52,251.0866726 God then covered that sin. 191 00:19:52,761.0866726 --> 00:19:55,211.0866726 Because guess what? God's truth stays the same. 192 00:19:55,501.0866726 --> 00:19:58,961.0866726 His love covers a multitude of sins. 193 00:19:59,401.0866726 --> 00:20:01,501.0866726 So when we confess it, we bring it to the light. 194 00:20:02,181.0866726 --> 00:20:09,241.0866726 It'll actually be covered by the Lord who can truly cover it and give us a peace and a freedom from that thing. 195 00:20:09,764.231217 --> 00:20:15,564.231217 So you let go what you were hiding and then you believe the truth of God and you receive acceptance. 196 00:20:15,854.230217 --> 00:20:20,304.231217 So believe what 2 Corinthians 3 16 through 18 states. 197 00:20:20,344.231217 --> 00:20:26,471.7205947 Believe that truth that you, that freedom is yours and receive that acceptance that God freely gives you. 198 00:20:26,471.7205947 --> 00:20:28,331.7205947 He loves you so much. 199 00:20:28,691.7205947 --> 00:20:40,908.8211896 No matter what you've done You can't make him love you less Now finally talking about rejection take some deep breaths, I know we've talked about a lot we've gotten deep today already Talking about rejection. 200 00:20:41,268.8201896 --> 00:20:59,621.059985 I want you before we talk about this I want you to close your eyes if you're able to And I want you to imagine yourself walking in a room to meet jesus Just imagine that right now And take notice of what you feel. 201 00:21:01,111.059985 --> 00:21:22,835.6568114 What do you feel when you are walking to meet with Jesus? Do you feel accepted? Do you feel loved? Or do you feel like He is disappointed in you? Like He's rejecting you? This will tell you, this will give you a gauge as to your view. 202 00:21:23,340.6568114 --> 00:21:24,200.6568114 of God. 203 00:21:24,938.8534893 --> 00:21:35,155.4672749 Okay? Is he a loving God or a condemning God? Does he accept you or does he reject you? This is showing and exposing what you believe about God. 204 00:21:35,748.8898582 --> 00:21:46,714.5577719 And I want you to know the truth because the truth is that God created you to be loved by Him you were God's work. 205 00:21:46,714.5577719 --> 00:21:48,254.5577719 You were His masterpiece. 206 00:21:48,254.5577719 --> 00:21:49,444.5577719 You were His handiwork. 207 00:21:49,859.5904272 --> 00:21:54,579.0203928 And he doesn't reject his work you were not created for rejection. 208 00:21:54,649.0203928 --> 00:21:57,749.0203928 You were not created, you were never meant to be rejected. 209 00:21:58,169.0203928 --> 00:22:03,779.0193928 When we were born, we were automatically separated from God because of sin. 210 00:22:04,89.0203928 --> 00:22:07,349.0203928 We start at this deficit because of the curse of sin. 211 00:22:08,99.0203928 --> 00:22:19,79.0193928 So we have to force ourselves and to meditate on the truth, not of what the enemy in the God of this world is trying to get us to believe his truth. 212 00:22:19,518.5248155 --> 00:22:22,28.5248155 Okay? So we're already having to battle and fight. 213 00:22:22,258.5248155 --> 00:22:34,838.8867236 Are we going to live in this tree of life or are we going to live in this tree of, of the knowledge of good and evil? Because now we know, right? When Adam and Eve, in the garden, they didn't know that they were naked at first. 214 00:22:34,978.8867236 --> 00:22:41,68.9684603 They didn't have all this, this knowledge, right? But then once they did, they saw their imperfections. 215 00:22:41,108.9684603 --> 00:22:44,588.9684603 They, they started feeling shame and needed to cover themselves. 216 00:22:44,588.9684603 --> 00:22:44,618.9684603 Right. 217 00:22:45,64.3259911 --> 00:22:47,704.3259911 and they started to believe that God would reject them. 218 00:22:48,20.3602597 --> 00:22:52,641.8600134 So we're automatically born into, born into this world at a deficit. 219 00:22:53,113.9632666 --> 00:22:59,243.9632666 and so we have to force ourselves to be in agreement with the truth, which is God does not reject us. 220 00:22:59,759.3934018 --> 00:23:07,959.3924018 And so I want you to know that you have a control and a choice of what to believe and what you choose to believe is going to determine your future. 221 00:23:08,232.8365823 --> 00:23:14,126.418197 So how do you actually overcome rejection? You first want to expose the rejection. 222 00:23:14,403.3399493 --> 00:23:25,63.3389493 And rejection can come in through parents, it can be generationally passed down, it can come in through different life events, or even your demographics. 223 00:23:25,63.3389493 --> 00:23:30,466.4852561 Like, based off of race, religion, uh, your beliefs, your gender. 224 00:23:30,837.6865402 --> 00:23:34,527.1822788 rejection can be invited in through those aspects. 225 00:23:34,587.1822788 --> 00:23:46,839.3694462 And so you must expose the rejection What's the rejection wound and then too you must reject it reject it by not believing the lie you believe that you're not buying into that lie anymore. 226 00:23:47,119.3694462 --> 00:23:51,233.3509301 That's how you reject it And then three, you have to believe it. 227 00:23:51,233.3509301 --> 00:23:52,463.3509301 You have to believe the truth. 228 00:23:52,713.3509301 --> 00:23:57,353.3509301 So you join in with God because this is what he already wants for you. 229 00:23:57,363.3509301 --> 00:24:01,303.3509301 He wants you to be free from the wound of rejection. 230 00:24:01,858.6676898 --> 00:24:06,938.6686898 Isaiah 41 9 says, I took you from the ends of the earth from the farthest corners. 231 00:24:06,968.6686898 --> 00:24:07,768.6686898 I called you. 232 00:24:07,968.6686898 --> 00:24:09,498.6686898 I said, you are my servant. 233 00:24:09,698.6686898 --> 00:24:12,578.6676898 I have chosen you and have not rejected you. 234 00:24:12,953.3244871 --> 00:24:13,913.3244871 That is the truth. 235 00:24:14,300.5268858 --> 00:24:18,110.5268858 Anything that's combating that is a lie from the enemy. 236 00:24:18,623.6307507 --> 00:24:21,785.3456862 So expose it, reject it, and then believe it. 237 00:24:22,357.658898 --> 00:24:26,347.658898 Okay, so we covered so much in this episode. 238 00:24:26,777.658898 --> 00:24:34,447.658898 Um, so, quickly, we've talked about unforgiveness, how it is actually trapping you and not the other person. 239 00:24:34,751.8615042 --> 00:24:39,531.8615042 And to combat that, you want to pray, bless, and do good to your enemies. 240 00:24:39,986.4030482 --> 00:24:41,606.4030482 Secondly, we talked about shame. 241 00:24:41,966.4030482 --> 00:25:07,896.9318568 The difference between guilt and shame that shame is a label that we've given ourselves and that when we Can focus on who god is It will free us from shame and bring what we're hiding into the light Which then at that point the lord can cover what we bring to the light And then finally rejection That words are curses and we've been walking around with these curses over us. 242 00:25:08,174.075973 --> 00:25:14,830.4416127 And we have the power to take control and decide what we want to believe for our future. 243 00:25:15,182.7987391 --> 00:25:20,192.7987391 Now, if any of these resonated with you, I would love to hear some feedback. 244 00:25:20,252.7987391 --> 00:25:23,192.7987391 I would love to hear which one really hit home for you. 245 00:25:23,482.7987391 --> 00:25:29,231.2584774 Was it all three? Is it one that you're really struggling with? Or maybe the Lord set you free in this episode. 246 00:25:29,541.2584774 --> 00:25:30,411.2584774 I'd love to hear. 247 00:25:30,641.2584774 --> 00:25:35,274.5430783 So please share whatever it is that's on your heart over in the free community. 248 00:25:35,489.1199989 --> 00:25:37,421.1928516 You can join at wop. 249 00:25:37,901.1928516 --> 00:25:40,561.1928516 com forward slash the healing circle. 250 00:25:40,811.1928516 --> 00:25:43,571.1918516 That's wop w h o p. 251 00:25:43,991.1928516 --> 00:25:46,321.1928516 com slash the healing circle. 252 00:25:46,489.2865117 --> 00:25:48,19.2865117 I can't wait until we hang out again. 253 00:25:48,241.7618928 --> 00:25:49,681.7618928 I hope you have the best week. 254 00:25:49,731.7618928 --> 00:25:52,941.7608928 I'll see you back here, same time, same place, next week. 255 00:25:53,181.7649856 --> 00:25:53,601.7649856 Bye. 256 00:25:53,832.2287876 --> 00:25:54,722.2287876 Hey, beautiful. 257 00:25:54,762.2287876 --> 00:25:58,332.2287876 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 258 00:25:58,632.2287876 --> 00:26:12,762.2287876 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 259 00:26:12,762.2287876 --> 00:26:18,162.2287876 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 260 00:26:18,437.2287876 --> 00:26:23,817.2287876 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 261 00:26:23,887.2287876 --> 00:26:24,307.2287876 Okay. 262 00:26:24,407.2287876 --> 00:26:26,977.2287876 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 263 00:26:27,137.2287876 --> 00:26:33,107.2287876 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
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