Episode 100 - Gregory's Girl - The ReSwally (1981) - The Culture Swally

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:34):
I'm very well. I thought you were going to say I'm joined by the man who likes to take
girls up the country park. That was braced for it. No, it's our 100th episode. I'm
being nice. I'm not going to say anything nasty. I'm not going to wrench you. I'll save that
for the next episode. I'm being nice. 100 episodes, Greg. I know. 100 episodes.

(00:54):
It seems like it does not seem like I've sat at the computer watching you on the screen 100 times.
Did it record your podcast as crackers? Actually, we've done more than 100 because we did.
I think one I put out as a bonus and then there was the preview, but it's a 100 proper episodes
that we've done. I think this is a very good, yeah, it's good to have the 100 in. So yeah,

(01:19):
fantastic. Yeah, everything good with you? Always well, although I have to confess to being a bit
traumatized the other day. So, my... So, I'm not a massive user of Twitter or ex, formerly known as
Twitter, but the other day, and I'm not proud of this, right? But in my for you feed,

(01:40):
a picture of some actress or something came up and it's said in the caption, "Have you seen her tape yet?"
So, like, a fool I clicked in the comments and Twitter has become a place. Now, bear in a mind that I live
in a country where, you know, Islamic law, they're very, very strict about what they let you see,

(02:00):
even in the content, even in the confines of your own home. If you want to watch something a bit grown
up, you have to the VPN, right? Not on Twitter. Hardcore, pornography, mate. And I'm not exaggerating.
Now, you know, I can... I'm a man of the world. I can deal with a bit of hardcore pornography. What I
struggle to deal with is a threesome with two guys and a girl, not really operating the way that you

(02:26):
may have accidentally seen pornography with two guys and a girl. More a girl and a guy on a guy.
So, I've had to like, I've had to like, turn my Twitter account off of my app. So now I've only got the
cultural smiley to my account open because of course, because I dipped a toe in that filthy water,

(02:48):
my feed was just... my feed was full of a post-spying account called "Try not to get a boner", right?
It's just hardcore, home-made pornography. I'm probably a bit sneaky, home-made pornography where
the lady engaged in it maybe doesn't really know that she's being filmed, you know what I mean?

(03:12):
So I've had to turn it off. I know what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. Try not to get a boner. Try not to.
Yeah. I did it. I did it.
To turn it off, I was sitting in the sofa next to my daughter. But there's a volume up. No. The
footage of the two guys and a girl, the account stuck in my mind because it was called "Freckles Couple"

(03:37):
and yeah, you have to take my word, we'll just have to take their word for it. They've got
freckles because they don't show their faces. Okay. The only part of their bodies they don't show,
I mean, yeah, I've only watched it for like a few seconds before it turned off. But yeah,
they should have changed their name from X to X rated. It's our hundredth episode and you've chosen
to use this as your little Ronnie Corbett monologue at the start. It was either or less of the Fiko

(04:00):
Wimp plan story. Okay. Yeah. Let's move on now. Yeah. I don't think, yeah, be careful what you're
clicking on there. Yeah. I think that's a bit of a worry that you're clicking on some things,
especially when you're sat next to your daughter. Yeah. I should go back. Yeah. I've got some more
questions for you but I'll ask you once we've finished recording about that. Okay. Now, I think we,

(04:22):
before we start the episode and go into the news and what we're going to be talking about later,
I was very saddened when I woke up earlier this week and had a text message from you telling me
that Brian McCarty had passed away. And I guess we're one for one now because I think I broke the news
news to you about Robby Coltrane. Okay. So you've broken the news to me about Brian McCarty. Yeah.

(04:46):
Yeah, I was really upset when I read that. It was the first thing I read when I woke up. Grab my phone
to see what the time was and just saw your text message and yeah, I was gutted and such a shame
that he's passed away and such a wonderful actor as well, just a Scottish icon really. Yeah. I mean,
and just prolific. I mean, I've got his, you always know that somebody's been in a lot of things

(05:11):
when you open the Wikipedia page and it says selected filmography because just, yeah, just in too many
things to list, but yeah, just a prolific actor and maybe best known perhaps for playing the
mysterious Tommy in line of duty in the first couple of series of line of duty. I think in the first

(05:32):
series you only really hear these voice and so I think you see him toward the end. And just in the voice,
he's just an absolutely brilliant, gravely Scottish voice, you know, yeah, absolutely brilliant. I mean,
one of my favourite roles of his is Dave McKay in the damn United, the football of Dave McKay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, really, and it was so unexpected because he's been in quite a few things

(05:57):
over the last kind of couple of years, you know, he's been doing Outlander. He did the,
I always forget the name of it, but the one where Sean Beans and Jail and Steven Graham plays the
word and time. Time. Yeah, and it plays a really, really good character in that. One of his last roles is
a film that we've spoken about maybe doing is that new Samuel L Jackson film, Damaged, which apparently

(06:20):
is fucking terrible, but we'll maybe pick it at some point, but yeah, that was one of his last roles.
I think we've only covered in five times on the Swally, so we did crime series two, we did Rob Roy,
Phil's for those in peril and Hello ladies, of course, we're only in two scenes, but you fucking
steals the show. Yeah, in those two scenes is the disc, Sergeant. And yeah, I agree, you know, as I have

(06:46):
in my notes here, Dave McKay, damn United, line of duty, time with Sean Beans, and he reached a pinnacle
of Scottish actors. He was in five episodes of Taggart, playing four different characters.
It's a mark of a true great Scottish actor. Absolutely. Yeah, I know. When that, when the summer

(07:09):
holiday's got to get paid for, send the agent down to the Taggart casting offices,
there was one that he was in that I was trying to find, but it's hard to find because it's been
remade in the US, but it's almost like 20 years old now. It's set in Edinburgh, I called the
low winter sun and he stars with Andrew Strong, the English actor. Is it Andrew Strong? I think it is

(07:32):
Andrew Strong. No, Andrew Strong's off the commitments, isn't it? It's Mark Strong. Mark Strong,
yeah, yeah. He stars with him where they play to sort of corrupt the text. So we, but there's
sort of shades of sort of urban Welsh universe through it. It was really good, but it was,
it's been remade in the US and Mark Strong made the US remake, but unfortunately, Brian didn't make it.

(07:55):
I wouldn't see that one, so I watched it, I think Channel 4 showed it. It was really good.
Okay. Yeah. Oh yeah. I see what you mean. All right. Leave it with me. I'll see if I can find it.
Yeah. 2006 film. Yeah. Yeah. TV. Okay. It was made for TV because I think Channel 4 didn't
that too part of it, I think. It's a decent, yeah, it's got Birkwok, Paul Higgins, John Sessions.

(08:20):
John Sessions, yeah, yeah. Well, of course, I mean, I think, Brian, for us perhaps, whatever,
sort of joint favourite roles is this the original Dugi Gilman and Phil's with Macavoy.
Yeah, without doubt. I think, yeah, he was fantastic in that and he was great in series 2 of crime,
as well. Yeah, just a wonderful actor and yeah, really sad loss. So, yeah, I was really upset at the

(08:46):
news, but, yeah, unfortunately, but we will always be able to watch his performances and we've got those.
Absolutely. Absolutely. Right. Shall we have a look at what's been happening in Scotland over
the last couple of weeks, Greg, for the hundredth time to the Jing. It's not really for the hundreds
times. I don't think we had the Jingle until about episode four or five. Yeah, that just occurred to me
there afterwards. As the words were leaving my mouth, but it was too late. Hello, this is the out there

(09:18):
Heavily's broadcasting code narration and here is what's been going on in the news. Okay, Greg,
what have you seen in the news over the last couple of weeks in Scotland that has caught your eye?
Well, there seems to be over the last few months, obviously, we scour the Scottish press
for a while. They sent you stories and there seems to be a lot of stories about just people

(09:40):
making life miserable for fellow plane passengers. The planes always seem to leave from Glasgow
airport for some reason. I've always thought of resisting them, resisted picking them, but I chose
this one just because the headline really gave me a chuckle. So it's from the Scottish sun last week,
and the headline needs plain wrong. Glasgow EasyJet passengers chant, "Cheereo, cheerio,

(10:04):
is round the couple hauled off plain by cops after sparking chaos on the flight." The pair force
the aircraft, which left Glasgow, to make an emergency landing in Greece after they kicked off.
Shocked passengers told how the pair were arguing with other passengers on the Egypt bound flight
before they turned their vile behaviour toward the cabin crew. Staff tried to get the pair to sit

(10:29):
down by making announcements over the Tanoi, but would eventually force the step in. One passenger
said the pair started threatening aircrew before the pilots were forced to make an emergency landing.
Passengers, Michael McLean, and told the day they were off. They were arguing with other passengers
for half an hour before the crew stepped in. They were being verbally abusive and threatened

(10:50):
into the cabin crew. They eventually announced we were doing an emergency landing in Greece.
The woman was told to sit down seven times over the Tanoi, as they landed, but she kept getting up.
The plane diverted to Nico Kazan-Zakis, international airport in Harakawan, on Crete.
Greek cops then boarded the plane and hauled the loudish couple off before the plane made its way

(11:15):
to Egypt. As officers took them off the aircraft, the failed passengers celebrated their removal,
as they erupted in a cheers in chance of "chirio, chirio" and "na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na" "good bye!"
"Good bye!" "Just brilliant!" "Yeah, so I really gave me a chuckle." But that seems to have been

(11:39):
just a lot of this going on of late, but I can just only imagine the couple sobering up quite
quickly when a couple of burly Greek polis got on the plane. Have you ever seen somebody kick off
on an airplane? "No, I haven't seen anyone kick off. The only thing I've really seen was I was flying
back from... I must have been flying back from Glasgow to Dubai." And of course, there was.

(12:06):
Which I mean, of course. I hope it's going to kick off the planes leaving Glasgow, right? That's true.
But it wasn't that bad. There was three guys sitting in the aisle next to me. It looked like a
father and two sons. But like the father must have been in his 70s, the two sons were probably in their
thurries. And as soon as it started taxing, the guy that was sat in the middle was just clinging to

(12:28):
the headrest in front of him, shaking. And got off, took off, and he was not in a good way. Like he
was obviously really scared of flying. And he was fucking shaking and bricking himself and he went to
the toilet, he kept going to the toilet. And then at one point he'd been in the toilet for about an hour.
Like he just obviously felt safe in maybe it was because it was an enclosed space, like he felt safe.

(12:52):
And the stewardesses were trying to get him out and family were there and they had to unlock the door
and like physically remove it from there. And he just he just wanted to curl up in a ball
and he was just shaking. They eventually sat him back down as soon as five minutes of pass,
he got up and went to the toilet again. And it turns out I was listening into the conversation
because they were speaking to the steward saying like, they're he's really scared of flying stuff.

(13:14):
They were meant to be flying to Australia. Oh fuck. So like Jesus Christ really, if you're
that scared of flying, why would the fuck would you fly from the UK to Australia? But maybe he thought
you could do it and you just couldn't. So they were like, right, well they decided that when
you get to Dubai, then he'll just you know, won't be continuing the trip. Right. And they said,

(13:35):
oh, you'll just get a boat back. Like it's just the easiest thing. Like we'll just come off and
just get a boat back to Glasgow. I don't think that's how it works. I always wonder about that guy
and what happened to him. Like it was terrible to see because he was not bad way and I felt really
sorry for him. But what can you do? But I often wonder what happened to him. Like if he if you got a

(13:58):
boat back or if you just started a new life in Dubai, he's still here anywhere. I thought you were
going to say that he was, it was really, he had been at the game and he was really hungover. That's
just that's why he was shaking and trembling. That's that's what I thought initially because that's
the instinctive thing that you think. So what I thought you had been maybe a bit hungover. But yeah,

(14:18):
he was, he was not in a good way. So nevermind. Shame. Wonder what happened to him. Yeah.
What about yourself? Have you ever seen anyone kick off on a plane or get thrown off or? I've noticed
that I'm going to get thrown off. I mean, I was I remember flying back from Turkey to Q8 and
we were flying with Pegasus, which is for I was fly was on my own Pegasus is like the sort of budget

(14:40):
Turkish airline. And when I got on, there was like an older lady who you know, they always take on
sort of old people if they're in wheelchairs and stuff, they get on first. So she had been taken on
and she'd be sat down and I got on whenever I got on. And like her and one of the cabin crew,
like when the like a sureness just started having this massive argument and what I assumed to be

(15:01):
Turkish. And so it's shouting and bawling each other. I've got no idea what it was about. There was a
guy sitting beside me who sort of gave me a bit of a sort of eye roll smile. And I really wanted to ask
them what they were arguing about, but I've got no idea. I felt I did feel a bit like kicking off
myself. This week's I was flying back to Q8 from Dubai and the check, I was on Emirates and the

(15:25):
check to zone quite early. And when I was when I was checking on, I was like, it's awfully early,
we're not supposed to take off for like another hour. And the girl said, yeah, but it's a full flight,
so we'll try to get in front of it. So it's like, all right, fair enough. So we ended up not taking
off on time because security in Q8 was busy because people were late and so we had to wait for them.
You know what I mean? But as I'd be thinking, well, you should've got the fucking airport earlier.

(15:47):
Like I did, like I did. And then we could be taking off on time, but there was one, I always sit in the
aisle because I've got long legs and I like to sort of stretch them out when I can. But there was an
empty seat beside me. And it was like, there wasn't many empty seats. And I'm watching the
passengers get on. And I'm just thinking, and everyone of them, all the guys getting on, I'm just
thinking, I bet this guy's going to be sitting next to me. I bet this guy's going to be sitting next to me.

(16:10):
Don't you fucking dare to sleep, because I was sitting quite close to the door of the plane when they
were getting on. But then luckily, quite a nice girl got on and she was sat beside me. But then she
moved because the only other empty seat was next to two of her pals. But silver lining,
there was nobody sitting next to me for the short flight, queuated the buy. But hardly any better
feeling is there. Does the empty seat next to you and you're just waiting and then you hear the doors

(16:34):
closing. Yeah. Like, are you fucking beauty? You hear those magic words, ground staff, please leave
the airplane, ground staff, please leave the airplane. You're like, yes. And if you're sitting on a
row of three and there's like somebody sitting in the next seat in this seat, 70, and you both realize
that the middle seat's empty, there's like a very quiet bonding that goes on. You might not,

(16:57):
you probably won't talk to each other for the whole flight, but you just a sort of acknowledgement,
yes. It's almost a fist bump moment. Anyway, that's my first flight about silly weed geese causing chaos
on Egypt bound flights, which is a first story for our 100th episode. My first story is from Edinburgh

(17:18):
live this week, Greg, it's from today actually. And the headline reads East Lothian AirbnB Guests
Vigorous Trist, knocked neighbours clock off wall. So, guest staying in an AirbnB holiday let
had sex so vigorously a clock fell off the wall of the flat downstairs.
Residents, residents living in the block of flats in Musselboro, East Lothian,

(17:46):
included the incident in a series of objections to a license being issued for the short term holiday
use of the property. However, the owner of the AirbnB dismissed the complaint as "ridiculous"
adding, "How could I stop anyone having sex?" All in Montgomery applied for a license to
operate his top floor flat in the block of six on Edinburgh Road, which has been rented out as a

(18:07):
holiday flat for the last 20 months. Neighbors in the building however have objected, saying it had
been used as a party flat, there have been incidents of men urinating in gardens, a drunken
hen party had intimidated residents while police had to be called to an incident involving drunken
golfers. What objector wrote? One couple decided to have sex so vigorously and loudly in the living room

(18:33):
of the flat that they caused the downstairs neighbours clock to fall off the wall and it was damaged.
During a meeting of East Lothian's councils licensing subcommittee today,
Mr Montgomery said he was willing to take any action necessary to ensure future disturbances
were avoided at the property, including installing carpets, a noise monitor and a ring doorbell

(18:57):
which would monitor the number of people entering the flat. On the incident evolving the clock,
he said, "As a respectable man, I've visited the neighbour and I've fixed the clock back on the wall.
What work can he do?" Mr Montgomery denied claims that it was a party flat and said he
would ensure no guests were able to book single night stays amid concerns local people were using

(19:18):
the flat, something which the committee heard has become a trend with short term lets across the
country and beyond. Neighbour Maxine Wood addressed the committee on behalf of other residents,
saying issues had continued at the property despite complaints to Mr Montgomery, including
overflowing bins at the property which she said was not help. By the council moving its fort
night collection to a three weekly service, sounds like Maxine's just having a little dig at the

(19:42):
council things well to get that complaint in. She said we're having ongoing problems last week,
the four guests that were there were smoking weed in the backgarden and blocking access to the beach.
We were very frustrated and upset. Counselor Colin McGinn, committee chairperson,
told Mr Montgomery, "I feel that to have been in operation for 20 months and have such a catalog
of complaints is quite alarming. The committee agreed to grant a license to operate for a

(20:05):
reduced time of 18 months with conditions that carpets were put down, noise monitors installed,
and a video doorbell put in." So Greg, if you're red sex so vigorously that you've knocked your
neighbors clock off the wall. I don't think I've ever had sex so vigorously that I've knocked
a pillow off the bed. Is that the address? Where are we staying? Because we've got a year of

(20:30):
being being in Edinburgh. I was better check if it's that flat. Yeah we do but it's not your
the beach so yeah we'll have to and our mutual friend has booked it so I had not
sure I can't remember the address but yeah we'll have to obviously have to be thinking about our
neighbors. Yeah yeah. It's not like because we're going to be having a book in a sex this
week of us. No but if you reenacting the video we've tried not to get a boner.

(20:54):
I don't know what it was called. Yeah that's as I thought it was called.
I know I've got to mark it. No I'll just say me don't want to because you know you get together
and I've been right some beers will probably have been taken right now but ran bunches.
What I wanted to focus on there was the sort of words that the complainant used. Like a couple

(21:21):
decided to have sex so vigorously. They have this that. This is that scenario. You know it's shall we
fuck each others brains out or should we just have sex? No that's quite what we're on holiday.
Let's fuck each others brains out. Let's see if we can knock this we can knock some ornaments down
downstairs. We're in an Airbnb you know I'm giving us a shit. It's fine let's just go for it.

(21:43):
Let's go wild yeah maybe. Yeah well you know at least the the owners of respectable man and he knows
how it affects a clock that was lucky. Yeah he knows how it affects a clock and he has said he'll put
carpets down and install a noise alarm and I don't know what that does really but and a ring doorbell
so you can see how many people are there. I have no idea. At least he's trying. A couple that are there

(22:09):
for the fringe and for the lovely day out watching the shows and it's the first visit to Edinburgh
and they're swept up in the romance in the history of the city and they're very much in love when they
get back to that Airbnb and start having passion at sex and then I sort of noise alarm starts going
off like a real alarm you know I mean that might not leave a five-star review maybe not maybe not

(22:33):
try and find that property actually and look for for any reviews that have been left on there so
that'll be good. So yeah okay no sex in the Airbnb please yeah and if you do you know
missionary very in the bed very quiet keep it respectable level just yeah keep it nice and quiet
just save yourself for when you're in the comfort of your own home. Yeah okay well so if you see

(22:57):
this week Greg my next story is about St Andrew's University so this is from the beginning of me
the headlight is from a Scottish son the headlight is deeply dippy remember the old right-side Fred
song deeply dippy of course I do yes of course the absolute banger right inside St Andrew's Mayday
tradition as hundreds of students wear red gowns in cult like march before cold water plunge so

(23:23):
hundreds of students wore red gowns and took part in a cult like march before braving the cold for
a dip in the sea as part of a historic and special tradition. Students from the University of St Andrews
gallored in the 5th town to participate in the annual god day event GAU the i.e. dress in the
traditional red robes they were led by a piper in a torchlit procession along the pier to east

(23:47):
sand the event takes place every year on the 30th of April to commemorate john honey a student who
died in 1800 honey risk these alive to rescue survivors of a shipping accident which happened
offshore helped by fellow students he managed to tie a rope around his waist and he swam out to
the Janet of McDuff ship as he didn't have a lifeboat and swam back to shore with a member of the

(24:09):
crew he made a dangerous trip five times saving five people in the process but in the final attempt
the ship's mass collapsed and fell on his chest honey managed to make it back to the beach but
collapse with exhaustion but he went on to serve as a church of sculptor minister before tragically
dying at the age of 32 after suffering unresolved health issues from the shipwreck so in honour of

(24:32):
his memory students walk along the pier and they are reat at the site of the accident this is then
followed by their annual maid dip which sees students strip to their swimwear and make their way
down to the water at east sand on the 1st of May but even the cold the students collectively
run into the North Sea as the sun rises the dip in the freezing seas a unique tradition in the

(24:53):
university which is said to cleanse students of any academic sins and bring good luck for future
exams it is also said to be the only cure for breaking the curse of Patrick Hamilton who was a
preacher and a member of the faculty of the arts in the 16th century he was killed and burned at
the stake in the town centre in 1528 after speaking out about the corruption in the church of Scotland

(25:17):
so here we have photographs of lots of future Tory voters in their bikinis
on the beach it's in Andrews yeah to commemorate this said brave guy I thought it was quite a nice story
there's some nice pictures of the students in their swimwear on the on the Scottish Suns website

(25:38):
if you want to be a look but I thought it's quite a nice tradition there whichever do something
like that would they ever jump into the North Sea yes no I don't need jump into the North Sea to save
perhaps a drowning person who was very very close to me but they would have to be they could really
close to me before I would do that if it was if it was basically your children

(25:59):
yeah my children my wife I would obviously jump in for you or I'm your children oh thanks man
or mutual friends I suppose I've got to add my nieces and nephews to the list I couldn't say my siblings
but definitely my nieces and nephews okay I'm glad I've made it above your siblings
the list people that were safe yeah I hope none of them listened to this podcast all right no they

(26:22):
don't they say they do but I fucking know they don't well you've just left a little breadcrumb
there for them in case they do exactly exactly yeah I wouldn't fancy that jumping in the North Sea
no way like it's nice no no thank you definitely not so anyway yeah that was a just a little quick one
there and a bit of an adjus what's your next story this next story is from the Scottish Sun Greg

(26:45):
and it's from today and the headline is "Udderly bonkers" bizarre moment escaped cow tries to get
into a woman's house in one of Glasgow's toughest estates so there's a video online of this cow try
to get into this woman's house this is a bizarre moment a cheeky cow tried to get into a woman's home
in one of Glasgow's toughest housing estates after escaping from India by farm locals in

(27:10):
home burn court in castle milk were left stunned when two massive cows descended on the area and
there's photos of these two cows just roaming around the street the large animals were spotted
wandering around the neighborhood yesterday afternoon shortly after 2pm as baffled residents
watched their windows one of the cows brown in color was seeing stooly up to one of them

(27:32):
is that too conky so much why don't you show thing to say well because one's black and white
and that's proud so they're obviously tried to differentiate right okay so one of the cows brown
in color was seen strolling up to one of the properties and appeared to chap on the door
a neighbor began filming the hilarious moment on her phone from across the street while the cow

(27:57):
waited patiently at the door i could fuse the woman opened the door to the huge cow which then
popped its head inside the door away that is fucking brilliant the the gallous animal then casually
tried to step into the home leaving the neighbor in stitches casually just catch just lifted a

(28:17):
little leg to catch the groom but the woman quickly managed to slam the door shut shut to stop
the huge cow from getting in this led to the cow bowing its head oh it was upset and quickly
turning around before it stood in our garden for a few seconds but then the animal walked out the
garden and went to catch up with its friend another black and white cow that was also roaming the

(28:39):
area this hilarious instant come moments after the the same cheeky brown cow chased a young girl
down the street the girl was walking along the street in the same area when she spotted the huge
animal charging at her her family were left in stitches as she managed to escape by jumping into
her mum's car would she be left in stitches if one of your kids was running away from a cow terrified

(29:04):
probably actually it is understood that the nearby farm was called who managed to get its two animals
back safely the video which was shared with the Scottish Sound was later posted on social media
where it quickly amassed over 90,000 views it was shared on the Glasgow Gospels Facebook page
but there were 600 people flocking to the comments to joke about the hilarious occurrence one person said

(29:25):
well that's the freshest milk delivered straight to your doorstep you'll ever get another added
it's only trying to move house oh dear someone else posted probes what it's called castle milk a
fourth post read it poor wee koo got knocked back from getting in and a fifth chimed in i'm pissing
myself at the one trying to go in the door so that's the story of a couple of cows in castle milk

(29:49):
just try again someone's house yeah i feel like the Scottish Sound have missed a couple of uh
pun opportunities there like the headline could have been castle milkers and then you know
you don't think utterly bonkers is good enough i don't know i wouldn't it wouldn't be my go to
and then instead of saying people flocked the Twitter they could have said people herded the Twitter

(30:09):
yeah flocked sheep so i did i did think when i read that out i thought that's a bit of a uh
misstep that they've done there i mean i'm surprised that the cows are so bold because my experience with
cows is they're quite timid remember my friend Dale very stood a flat with nabourd
yeah of course when him and i were at school together he lived out in the countryside in your lawn

(30:29):
me which is not far from Fraser but i remember him and i cutting through a field for the cows
and they all sort of came running up to look at us and as big big because i wasn't a country boy
i was somewhat alarmed but Dale just Dale just sort of stood he's ground and they they sort of
get within about maybe eight feet of him and then just sort of jump in the brakes and turn in one

(30:50):
away again so i think it's a bit of sort of inquisitiveness but i thought when the women opened the door
the cow would have been on its on its toes so to speak when confronted by the woman yeah i would
have thought so it's quite strange that it tried to step in so it's obviously a brave tachigi wee cow
chickenoat is so yeah yeah and so but yeah lovely story a little bit of nature and castle milk

(31:12):
just what you need indeed have you seen anything else this week Greg well from from mad cows to mad
burns this is about uh well and you know i've discussed these creatures before a few times um it's
from the day they record this story and the headlight meets scots city home to hardy seagulls
is vocals have named excel gullies oh jeezes after the excel bullies that i hadn't ever heard about until

(31:42):
about six months ago when they started making headlines in the UK yeah um so it'll come as no surprise
uh to regular listeners that we're talking about Aberdeen uh reported the home to the UK's worst
seagulls described as another lever of psychotic and and out for blood the country's most aggressive

(32:05):
seagulls dubbed excel gullies up in mapped out as they terrorize residents by stealing food
launching attacks and even shoplifting this follows a report by the daily star
this follows a report by the daily star on a giant top level boss gull causing chaos

(32:25):
causing chaos a Liverpool city centre leading to an increase in excel gullies stealing people's pasties
horror stories of gulls terrorizing towns are all too familiar but uh once it in
Scotland is particularly renowned reports the daily star uh one user learned that recently asked

(32:46):
which town in the UK has the roughest seagulls the question was quickly met with people claiming
that Aberdeen was by far the worse with routine attacks on people just a normal day-to-day occurrence
one user wrote Aberdeen it's not even a close competition there's there's a few who regularly help
themselves to stuff in shops routine attacks on people are normal oh and they are fucking massive

(33:11):
and hyper aggressive plenty of towns have bad gull problems but Aberdeen is a whole water level
of psychotic bastard burns another agrees adding two of the vicious buggers next to begot out my
car boot it is car boot fucking yeah well i was loaded by shopping and then the the others mobbed me

(33:36):
when i tried to shut the boot i've i've lived in a number of coastal areas in the UK but the Aberdeen
gulls are something else another time then i moved from the highlands to Aberdeen and i thought
highland seagulls were the worst until my first encounter with an Aberdonian seagull they are

(33:56):
absolutely ruthless and will go for blood which is sadly not an exaggeration uh councils
in some in some coastal towns have been forced to publish survival guides i don't know what the birds
at the university of Sussex and Brighton freshers have been handed flyers warning them

(34:16):
that seagulls will rob them uh one reddit user acknowledged the issue in bright and after
being attacked themselves by gangs of vicious seagulls but another touted syn-ives is one of the
worst places adding cornish gulls like peridactyls they're their whole life and a
succulent ives girl got me sweeping over my shoulder and took my scream corn one i one agree that

(34:38):
thing yeah skip i had one head but me
fucking seagull give you a malky i had one head but me and it fucked off with half my pasty
i'd love to have seen that see if it'll come out just headbutt someone in the neck half a pasty

(35:01):
fucking brilliant and of course it wasn't of course it wasn't long before somebody mentioned whales
one piped up in row seagulls need asbles well uh van mudno seagulls they are absolute psychopaths
and will nail your ice creams on the pier one row i saw a guy drop it

(35:23):
so sorry sorry one row i saw i saw a guy drop a seagull with an upper cut i saw a guy drop a seagull
with an upper cut after it stow these chips in barmouth whales when i was like 15 years old

(35:43):
i know that doesn't speak much for the roughness of seagulls layer but it's a fun story that i like to
reminisce about i mean well i've spoken about the seagulls and abridine many times in this podcast
but i mean they do seem big in abridine especially when you when you see them flying low with their

(36:05):
wings baked right out like fucking abridine rushes so they're yeah they're huge they're absolutely
huge in abridine yeah and you can be quite scary sometimes you know just roaming about there but
they're vicious bastards yeah mm-hmm these are i mean i know i said before but i'll never forget
when i was up in abridine visiting you guys and walking up a bellmint street and seeing the

(36:27):
carobah gardens could be in relief the views much by his sweeping seagull i'd never seen anything like
getting the fucking life i think they're some bold they just don't give a shit though that's just the
sort of part of the way they are it's kind of part of that charm in a way isn't it?
is yeah i don't mind them actually i quite like them yeah like as i say i've told the story as well

(36:49):
on the svalay before like we um at bettodry abridine's football ground there's a big problem with
seagulls the eagull round so it did employ uh i think it was a falcon to to skate off the seagulls
and then until one day that the falcon got hold of a seagull in the middle of the pitch
and just fucking destroyed it and it was like crying kids and stuff so the falcon got swiftly

(37:13):
removed and we now have a mascot called sami the seagull so i guess it tripped you to the dead seagulls
so another fectily for the seagulls they are not worthy of us
nevermind oh well yeah anyway anymore stories from scottland this week no i am done for this week Greg

(37:34):
okay then perfect right well before we go on to what we're going to be talking about today
let's have a little word from our sponsor and our sponsor is of course dorek skateboards a skateboard
brand created by gary kemp whose main focus is to explore the people and the culture of abridine
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(37:57):
screen print their own decks in their studio by gary's fair hand and they have produced some amazing
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(38:18):
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scottland what which we actually need to cover quite soon garyk so check out dorek skateboards for

(38:40):
yourself on dorek skateboards dot com and you can follow them on instagram at dorek skateboards to
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(39:02):
s w a l l y same as the name of this podcast and get your 15% off that's dorek skateboards dot com
link in the description of this episode okay garyk so it is our 100th episode today and we're doing
something a little bit different and something we haven't done before um what do you tell us
what we're going to be looking at today on the culture swally so back when we were young podcasters

(39:27):
i mean i was i was only 41 years of age um when we started this journey and one of the first
episode was the still game live show which was a bit of a bit of a way for us to get into podcast
and think then the second episode was probably one of the most classic fondly remembered

(39:52):
scottish films especially for people of a certain age i e ur age and we thought because it was a hundred
episodes and we're you know we feel like we're more accomplished podcasters now than we were four
years ago although um our listeners might not necessarily agree with that we thought it was time
to have another look at an absolute cornerstone of the scottish film industry in that's greggory

(40:19):
scottish film so is everybody hopefully knows directed by bill for scythe fantastic scottish director
of films like local hero that sink in feeling greggory's two girls amongst other things and
starring uh john gordans and claire or gordon johnson claire as the credits um list them as at

(40:42):
the beginning of the film the lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely krea grogan uh
Wallace and a whole raft of some of our favorite and oft mentioned oft mentioned scottish actors so
we're back on greggory scurro classic story of teenage coming of age romance uh i didn't listen

(41:05):
back to the original episode so there's a very strong chance that i might repeat myself a little bit
here but i think it's fine that's okay it's fine yeah we can repeat ourselves we're redoing it it's
the re swallow the so it's fine it's that way yeah so i didn't decide actually is it the re swallower
the second swallow i like the re swallower do you okay yeah i yeah but then does that not make

(41:28):
connotation to kind of you know backwash type it does a bit of a stupid another another cornerstone of
a teenage adolescent life okay we'll go with the re swallower so you know as we said as we said
in the last and the last time you spoke about this for me greggory is girl was because my name is

(41:49):
gregg it's not greggory i used to get a bit of greggory um i used to get a bit of greggory's girl
not in the way that i would have liked to have got it just be get called greggory's girl when i was a kid
um so i always knew about the film but i didn't actually see it until i was well in my teens and i
happened to catch it one night either on bbc2 or or or channel four um and this you know famously

(42:14):
filmed in comber old which is a town that i know reasonably well because like my dad lived there for many
years and remember being like struck by recognizing some of the places where the movie's filmed but
yeah i must have i's probably like i could have been as old as like 15 or 16 before i saw this for the
first time but remind the listeners you're first encounter with movie probably about the same as you

(42:36):
actually gregg like i was around about maybe slightly younger but i remember i was in drama class
and we got given pages from greggory's girl to raris and it was the the whole greggory it was
basically the from the greggory waiting at the clock to him meeting Susan for the date those

(42:57):
are the pages so it was the whole exchange with margo and carol and that whole kind of scene and i
was playing greggory so i remember you know that and i'd never seen the film right just so happened
like a couple of weeks later it was on BBC 2 or channel four later night and i watched it and i would have
been yeah maybe 13 i think at the time so it might have been roughly around about the same showing

(43:22):
or quite possibly as often happened it was kind of the you know they would repeat films but it
would be quite a weird happen stance if that was the first time we saw it like together like eight
years or so before we actually knew each other come at strange i think it's i think it's probably
quite likely because yeah we think about it like unless you had sky and we never had sky you know

(43:47):
and you couldn't get you know well when in channel five come maybe like 1999 or 98 99
we never it was like 96 97 because the spice girl's launched it so i think it was 97
channel five came out but i have remembered the spice girl's launching it's fun i mean i was living in
mod which is a wee village about 25 to 30 miles outside the badberdine and we didn't have channel five

(44:13):
either so we literally had four channels but the good thing which i think BBC 2 probably still do
i don't know channel four do it so much is that they would often show i don't really like to use
the term but i kind of i guess i suppose i have to sort of cult movies so like my first experience of
films like Dawn of the Dead or Taxi Driver films like that would be maybe like a Sunday night on

(44:39):
BBC 2 maybe they come Mark her mode introduction before the film yeah but they with Gregory's girl i'd
missed the beginning out of it i think i must have missed like the first 10 minutes or so so i
i didn't see the the scene when the boys are um or sort of spying on the nurse like getting on
dressed like at the this sort of pre-credits scene which uh i'm sure if i'd known that that scene was

(45:03):
in the film i'd have been really disappointed about missing it when i was when i was like
age um but yeah i was just it was great like for kids with a tv in their bedroom uh who were
sort of night owls channel four and BBC 2 were great for just sort of turning you on to these classic
films that well i would like you on or on well on a Friday night channel four was great at turning you on

(45:26):
because you had Euro trash but you know i mean but just sort of uh it sort of exposing you to
a lot of these i mean i really i mean i've obviously been a big movie fan since my late teens and
i really sort of i really sort of hold uh i really kind of put that down to just watching films that
would probably never i mean never have come across um like you know i'm not gonna say i know it's

(45:50):
about teenage adon lessons but we can we can we can raise their tone a wee bit surely
there's uh there's a bit of a dirty start to this film it has five boys spying on a a nurse getting
untressed and you you get to see her boobs yeah and you kind of think if you're coming into this film
not really knowing or what it's about or something you might be thinking is this like the UK version

(46:14):
of porkeys yeah which also came out in 1981 right and i think this film shows just the pure
difference between American teenage culture at that time and Scottish you can culture at that time
because it couldn't be more different porkeys as a fucking i haven't watched it for years actually

(46:35):
you know what's that tonight i'm not gonna watch it so i don't want to see porkeys again
but you know that's a body sex comedy and whereas Gregory's girl is such a gentle beautiful film
and it could have been easy to go down that route like in terms of the the body comedy but that's not
bill foresight's weight like he's very much a subtle surreal kind of a director and i think it's just

(47:01):
such uh an absolute seminal and beautiful film and that's what i like about it so much like the
the characters that he captures are so well crafted and i'm trying to think there's not really anyone
in a bill foresight film i can really think of that isn't likeable in a way like there are
some slight villains like comfort and joy for example but they always turn out okay in the end

(47:23):
yeah even like local hero like kind of everything turns out you know fine everyone's kind of happy
and well and it would have been so easy and i just love the fact that it's not uh like in a way
like there's there's no in this film that effectively there's no story right there is a story but
you know what i mean like it's a it's a weird thing there's no action there's no gross out kind of

(47:45):
comedy thing that you would get in porkeys or american pie which you know probably was inspired by porkeys
but there's heart there's honesty there's joy there's warmth in this film it's just such a beautiful film
and i think it's so well handled and for the beginning to be like that in terms of a little bit of
unity it kind of it's weird it kind of is odd that it's in the film but it sets up yeah so much later on

(48:10):
it's needed because you see that the the teenage boys are kind of obsessed with girls and as all
teenage boys are as all teenage boys are and as all as all adult boys are and it but it sets up
a couple of fantastic jokes later on in the film so that's why i think that scene is is needed

(48:32):
and is acceptable to have in it and and i think it really works well because it does set up a couple
of fucking brilliant jokes like that so i mean you made a good point there about you know it's not
like a kind of body sex comedy although you know there is a sort of undercurrent of especially not
so much with Gregory but with these pals there is this sort of undercurrent of you know we've got to

(48:57):
get laid got to get laid you know what i mean about laken porkeys but the thing about the film is
there's there's not really a lot of kind of visual gags as such there's a visual humor but there's a lot
of talking you know what i mean and a lot of the humor comes from the conversations with the between
the characters you know they come in mind he dove in the scene in the sion slab with de wallis and

(49:19):
and eclea grogan when they're talking about boys and uh uh Dorothy asked ian do you think
Alan's a virgin you think Alan's still a virgin she says though he's been in the no Alan's been in
New Orchestra for over a year now you know what i mean and so it's all you have to be paying attention
it's not a sort of film you can just have on because like 90% of the comedy is is you know it's spoken

(49:44):
words the other 10% is just the way gordon sing claire can it moves around what is on the screen
especially in the scenes when he's it's just him like when he's brushing his teeth or when he's
putting like wold on the oedron on over his t-shirt and you know and oh or when he's trained when he's
training in things you know what i mean it's just it's just him and he's just he's so he's so awkward

(50:09):
and can i gangily and silly you know um yeah you've kind of come across a few things there that i
kind of want to discuss as well so uh first of all the physical comedy of john gordon sing claire is
incredible but the scene where he's walking to school and he's late it's just after his met his dad
Dave Anderson don't worry we're coming back to Dave Anderson and he's walking to school kind of doing this

(50:32):
like exactly kind of zigzag and the teachers are laughing at him and the way he is in goal and then
when he's in the changing rooms and Dorothy comes in and he just covers his nipples with his fingers
it's it's it's just so gangily he's so tall and there's like that great scene with jay jay d'arasi
when he says like this she knows he needs to be this tall and crouches down he's like you grow

(50:55):
in a moustache yeah it makes you know his physical comedy is great i know this is something that
i'm not going to dwell on because i i don't know how to actually approach this subject of it
like in today's world and i'm just going to say this and you can maybe advise me if you think i
should cut this out do you think that Gregory was on the spectrum well i mean i suppose the

(51:20):
and i'm through the modern lens there would be a desire to try and label them like on the spectrum
but the thing is like the the whole world of the film is so surreal anyway you know with the pen
when the pen when wandering through and every teacher keeps telling them to go to a different room

(51:40):
and you know when when Gregory comes out he's door to go to school and there's just all these little
kids and no adults around you know in these in his pathway outside his door like all that sort of thing
and it's just you know like it's just it is so surreal they don't Gregory is like completely accepted
the only person that tries to avoid them is mr men's he's you know what time he sees him coming

(52:05):
to by jay d'arasi and he sort of ducks and you know tries to stay out his way because for some reason
he doesn't want to tell him that he wants them out the football team you know he can't he can't
sort of he can't kind of manage Gregory to be able to have the tough conversation with him that he's
just not good enough to be in the team because he's just so relentless the cheerful you you've

(52:27):
mentioned about some of the surreal aspects and i i think that there are so many little things in this
film like you said the penguin that just pops up a couple of times keeps getting cold to different
rooms there is one of my favorite parts which i'd never really noticed before is when
Gregory and dorothy are practicing together she's taking shots on him and it starts with a white shot

(52:51):
and there's a coach telling a guy how to do the high jump and he just fucking just runs through the
beam just makes no attempt to do it like i'd never really noticed that before i don't know how
the better they'd be the next to me the makes me laugh about that is that when he's locked the
peep down he just saw a wise prone in the crash mat then he tried to get up again was something really

(53:15):
really funny about that he don't know if it's the heart of a cell for the see that's a pointy
than himself for just the way he just lies there it's still so it fucks it up
and then later on when when he's going on the date to name each season there are like two old
women mowing the lawn in like the same dress is like either side of the shot and it's just it's

(53:38):
built for sight it's all these bizarre little things now i've watched Gregory's go many times i
haven't watched it since we last recorded the first episode this is the first time i've watched it
and realized exactly what this film is it's a sketch movie and there's a thread running through the
movie which it's full of little sketches and interspersed things like chick marie which will come back to you

(54:01):
later scenes with jake d'arcy scenes with Alex norin you know in the other teachers it's little things
like oh god i can't wait to come to the jake d'arcy part with a ravioli for example
it's a sketch movie but with a thread running through it and Gregory is the thread that runs us
through this movie but he's just meandering through it like everything that happens to Gregory is

(54:23):
driven by someone else or something else like he's just a goky kind of gormless guy just going through
this film this sketch film yeah and i've now realized what this film is and it's taking me you know
that long to work out but it's a sketch movie yeah just with all these different parts to it yeah
and he's just it's the way that he he's sort of towers over everybody else in the school you know

(54:48):
they can the scenes when there's like look i get the sort of home time and there's lots of kids
in there all sort of coming out and they just he's so tall he just sort of stands above everybody
even like he's pals like ande and and uh Alan and all those guys he's so so much taller um yeah your
eyes immediately drawn to him and it's it's such a it's it's a really great performance from a

(55:12):
gordans and clear because it's only a second film it's his first lead and he just seems completely
natural you know they got off the scene when he's when he found when he finds out the daughter they
wants to speak to him in the classroom and he goes into the boys' toilets and try and tabies here
and there's a wee boy coming he's here he sort of wrestles the comb off the hard he does

(55:36):
anything he's own here gives him his comb back and then messes up the wee boys here before he walks
out you know just it's just this sort of like it's it's sort of it's his if he's it's kind of knowing
but also a bit unconscious about just how funny he is i mean the fact that my aunt like like you

(55:56):
haven't seen this film a ton of times and there's just some things about him and then it in all the
way through the film let's still really make me really make me laugh and it's usually the kind of
physical stuff when he's not you know when he's not speaking or anything the bit that really made me laugh
on the rewatch and it always makes me laugh but I really was in hysterics is when Madeline's creepy

(56:19):
little boyfriend Richard comes to the door and Greg is like actually age and we embrace a whento
was the piss off you're a wee pair of her like you're just hilarious the way he is don't degrading
is your boy the young boy is like okay well I'll see you later and just walks off you must be

(56:42):
Gregory I wonder if Madeline you mean Madeline she's out with her mother that's a shame I thought
we could go for a walk maybe I could wait no the veggies maybe she could phone you later on she has my
number you anyway you're talking a bit my sister and she doesn't go for walks with anybody

(57:02):
what's the idea come to people's doors seducing people's sisters act your age when
break some windows demolish some phone boxes seeming average your age your Greg and if
are you feeling just okay there's nothing wrong with me son you're the one that should be worried

(57:23):
seducing children you're a freak you're heading for big trouble underage walks dates you'll run your
a vases before you're 12 if you don't slow down run piss off okay Gregory fair enough
Richard's name ask Madeline to call me anyway the name is Madeline go on piss off

(57:46):
somebody never realised I know we're all over the place hey this is what we do at this podcast
all over the place where do you first meet Richard the very first time he's waiting outside Madeline
school well obviously it's his school as well yeah he's waiting for outside class to give her a
wee poke us wee I'd never realised he's was like suicide is painless yeah the theme from match I'd

(58:08):
never realised that until this rewatch and I was like holy fuck that suicide is painless like that is
a deep enough that's the thing about for say it's just these I love a film where you you pick up
something different every time you watch it you know you've you've just mesh excuse me you've
just mentioned two brilliant ones like they have the high jumper and the match the

(58:31):
there but it's just it's just brilliant I mean it's you know it's a really quick film I'm always
amazed at how quickly it's over it always feels when I'm about to watch it I feel like it's going
to be longer but it's that type of short film really compared to modern movies it reminds me very much
of a film that came later and a film one of my favourite films of all time and probably the film I

(58:55):
have seen the most of all time and every time I watch it I still laugh at something different or
spot something new and that's again similar it's basically just sketches with a thread is this
is spinal tap yeah and I can give it no higher compliment than that that that is one of my favourite
films of all time and every time I watch it I laugh at something different or something new or

(59:17):
you spot something in the background that you've never seen before but yeah there's just so many
little things in this yeah just so wonderful um well come on speaking about the film properly because
we're kind of going all over the place do you think because what we're kind of talking about
John Gordon Sinclair so we can continue that do you think this harmed his career in a way that he

(59:39):
became so associate with the roller-grigry because the following year he was obviously riding on a
crest of a wave and he had a big hit single with we have a dream yeah with the 1982 Scotland team
do you think this harmed his career in a way because he was so associated with this role I don't
know you know I mean I think if if this film were to be made known with the same cast that the age

(01:00:04):
they were when the film was made I think he would probably go on to a lot of success you know assuming
the film would be as well received now as it was when it was when it was originally released I think
probably I think I don't know if he's a victim of the film as much as just a victim of the situation
that British cinema was in at the time you know there wasn't a lot of big British hits you know he's

(01:00:30):
I know he's got a small part in local hero but he did make quite a lot of a quite a lot of television
yeah you know like and British television in in the wake of us which is a shame because
he's a he's a fantastic actor Gordon Sinclair and you know I think we probably I mean he must be
bought in his 60s buying out I'm sure he must be in his 60s buying out or his late 50s at the very least

(01:00:55):
so 62 yeah so you know he's probably the you know the ships maybe sailed a little bit in terms of
a big break I know he it turns up in world war Z but I always thought that was I thought that was
part of the conditions at Glasgow City Council set when they said the good film and that you got
a Kim Corris Sinclair are we part in it he was in an episode of death in paradise just this year

(01:01:20):
apparently yeah I think he's always sort of being grafting like either on the TV or on the stage you
know if I look at his IMDB it will open here so immediately after this Britannia hospital
like in terms of movies you know some stuff that we part in Bergerac you know but then and I remember

(01:01:42):
the movie Eric the Viking which I remember being quite a big film when it came out in 1989 although
I don't think I ever saw it I think Teddy Jones from Monty Python might have wrote it he's got a part
in that but it's all like this that's the one that I remember him in this the sitcom Nelson's
column where he played a journalist I remember that being owned when I was a teenager there's my

(01:02:04):
summer with Des which sounds about like it might be about Dennis Nielsen but I'm sure it probably isn't
I think it's about Des Lynum yeah yeah oh yeah it can see the case there and then
the problem they also the one I I really remember him from is an actor's life for me
I don't know if you remember that that's really one which again was like a one series thing that was

(01:02:27):
on the BBC and it was about the Scottish actors hilarious efforts in finding work I wonder
because I think he was based in London but it's about a Scottish actor starring John Gordon's and
clear I might see if I can find that because that could be something we could definitely cover
and fuck some of the stuff we cover it is so tenuous that we could work but we'll leave it for a while

(01:02:47):
anyway but yeah I just wondered if it can hamper this career but the first thing when someone
mentions name first thing you think of is Greg Iseger which which I'm sure is probably quite proud of
you know what I mean because it is a yeah seminal Scottish movie at a tight that did
internationally brilliantly at a time when one not about a Scottish like movies for the cinema

(01:03:09):
were being made and two not a lot of British movies were really doing well internationally you know
yeah definitely no I think so yeah I mean and the scenes that he has are just so good in terms of
I think we spoke about it previously but the the scene would come down the stairs with the
fucking electrical with a massive battery pack and then he goes into the kitchen and he is

(01:03:35):
opening a can with the electric can opener he's making like a coffee or a milkshake with the
the milkshake maker and it's just everything is going on at that time and then he makes a dog biscuit
with Primula cheese and has that as a snack and then has his like milkshake with a pineapple ring
on it it's just it's bizarreness but it's so funny and so good and it sort of sums up the entire

(01:04:00):
1980s that that was seen with all the gadgets you know they it couldn't be any more eighties
than if they got an assincular C5 in drove the school you know speaking of which and then he comes
on and meets his dad who he doesn't address his dad does he he addresses him by his name is it Mike
yeah he's a Mike these are dads fight yeah it seems like Gregory never sees his parents because

(01:04:26):
they're like oh you know your mum do you remember her and she's like sure we have a sure let's have
breakfast one day the kitchen say Sunday and it's so I'm like wait a minute it sounds like he's
he's never seeing his parents but surely what is everyone out how are you anyway fine we know very well
your mother you remember your mother yeah remember mom she was asking if you just the other day

(01:04:50):
that's all that we met briefly in the hallway last Thursday and you look fine
listen I'm getting idea why don't we meet up later on the week for breakfast say eight o'clock in
the kitchen ready yeah yeah that sounds fine yeah so date then yeah they're obviously a well-off family

(01:05:11):
because dad's driving such a well no idea what his mum is but they have a a house in Cumberanold
Greg has got a drum kit it is yeah and they have all these electrical appliances and it's a nice house
they're obviously well off but yeah I guess they just never see each other Gregory's obviously out
spying on nurses most nights yeah or up in these gym playing the drums that's the thing they
there's a lot there's a lot of that funny very quick scenes you know like when he gets out when he

(01:05:36):
gets out of bed in the morning at his pajamas and so I opens a curtains and then plays a wee bit
in these drums and then we cut to like a different scene and then before he goes out to meet Dorothy
does it's the same thing it's a sort of strange like I was trying to figure out what the intention of
those little quick scenes were you know and like the scene when he's listening to he opens that he's

(01:05:58):
looks he can't sleep in the open sees window at night and he can hear cats me out when so he start he
starts me out and then it cuts the Diane who's in bed already reading their book and she's sort of
just sort of does the sort of dog head when when dogs hear something you sort of tilt their head
and then you know what I mean it's just it's just so surreal but in there but in quite a subtle way

(01:06:19):
you know it's that's just built for size yeah it's full of surreal parts do I mean local heroes
exactly the same and I agree that scene when he's howling and yowing and howling and then you see
Susan not Diane Susan um sorry Susan of course sorry girl you thinking of tried spotting are you yeah
I'm always thinking of when you see her when you see her smirking but I think that's the this

(01:06:45):
a few little scenes interspersed throughout with with Susan and it's almost a laid bread crumbs of
yeah you know and she smirks she knows it's Gregory she's probably heard him do it before yeah
and she kind of smirks as if to be like oh Gregory because she you know she likes him and I think
that's why they've they've put that in because and I really like that about the film they don't
establish the character of Susan effectively until the first day you meet her a few times yeah

(01:07:10):
along the way you know she asked Evie about the the ingredients you see her with um with Dorothy um
you see her just a couple of times little fleeting glances and I think it's really it's well done
they don't establish her as like a big character as such it's just kind of here she is and you kind of
already recognize her and know she is but then you get to know her in that time yeah there's the

(01:07:31):
there's the scene when Andy's a Andy was telling the canteen when he's telling her how like when
you sneeze it comes out your nose at a hundred miles in the world she's eating she's eating her apple
she just sort of packs up and leaves the room and then she repeats that fact to Gregory later on in her
date yeah yeah yeah I mean she's the thing it I mean had I saw the had I been like 14 or 15 when this

(01:07:56):
came out and saw the film you know like I would be thinking about the a groggin of what but in
but in a in a very romantic sort of way not in a dirty you know in the bathroom with the door locked
in a way but you know I could have seen myself sort of creating a fantasy where uh Susan would
think that I had a nice laugh you know right let's just groggin loving out the way so we can actually

(01:08:18):
speak about the film so you love Claire you mentioned you're in show the lovely lovely lovely lovely
lovely Claire Groggin you you have a bit of a thing for Claire Groggin don't you? It's just
there's something a bit Claire Groggin that even now you know she's you know and she says she
obviously she's done a fair bit of acting famously alternate but there's something really
down to earth about her alter date with the alter images also images sorry I'm thinking of the

(01:08:43):
the kind of like fancy kind of alternate alternate alternate for goodness sake alter images and she's
done about a TV presenting as well and things but she's just I mean I listened to her be an interview
on the walk in tours by Gary Kim can Guy Pratt and she still just seems a really down to earth
person you know and she's you know she's been like a bit of an international star especially with

(01:09:05):
altered images you know but she still seems like quite cool and the thing about Susan in the film for
like teenage boys watching the film you know it's it's it's fucking rough being a teenage boy especially
when you're if your pals start can appear enough and getting girl friends and maybe you're not you
haven't got a girl friend or your pals seem to have them and girls are sort of intimidating and

(01:09:29):
teenage girls can be a bit prickly as we know and the sun bit Susan who's just really nice
and friendly and sort of accessible in a way that you could just chat to her and have a laugh with
her and there's no kind of do it again the scenes in the scene with Gregory and Susan on their day
in the country part there's no this it's like it's very there's nothing like it's steak as such it's

(01:09:52):
not like this date has to go really well because Gregory makes a bit of a fucking content
of himself like dancing lying down kind of thing I mean that's that brain or most fucking
beautiful parts of the film Greg I know she is into that she gets him that's my point but that's
my point you know so Greg and he's either completely fucked it at this point right or he's just pulled

(01:10:17):
an absolute master's throat and it turns out that Susan is so cool that she's into it you know what I mean
throughout the film Gregory the scene she sees Susan like you never see him really interacting there's
there's the one part with Stevie and he says someone about Arabit Sugar and that's all he says to her
yeah he's fixated with Dorsey and he hasn't noticed Susan yeah so when Susan arranges the date and

(01:10:40):
that's the one thing that I'm like Gregory really when it turned up and she's like so do you want to
go out in a day and he's like let me have a think and he goes and sits down and thinks from it you're
like really really and then he's like okay and yeah it's it's bumblingly awkward to begin with
and you can tell like I think it's such a beautiful scene it's so well written when they're walking and

(01:11:04):
following and she's like I like your jacket and he's like oh thanks I like your skirt yeah thanks
I like your shoes or thanks I like your hat it's it's so awkwardly beautiful but so well done
and even towards the end like when they you know finally get together the kissing on the door step
and she says like I'm glad you stopped kissing me like you're like you're anti and I think it's just

(01:11:26):
such a beautiful way of like the the first date and the awkwardness and the conversation and yeah
Gregory's an awkward teenager but I think it's just so beautifully written and so well done yeah
but then that but you know that whole time of your life when you're I mean what's as I guess Gregor is
supposed to be what 15 maybe 16 I think about 15 16 yeah you know they if you remember being that

(01:11:50):
age and starting to go out with girls and things it's you know I mean it's it's an anxious time
because you're sort of just kind of second guessing yourself you're you're very very self-conscious
Gregory's none of those things you know what I mean yeah doesn't seem to be but that may ask you
a question so when you were at high school around the ages of 14 15 did you have a girlfriend

(01:12:11):
we covered this in the first episode because I did listen to this but I don't know I can't remember
and we kind of did yes I I didn't really have a girlfriend as such I had a few girls but I
as I'd say if you are go back and listen to episode two of the podcast but I'll we hash it
out for any new listeners I was a little bit of a kind of different character because I was a I was

(01:12:36):
heavily into drama and when I was like in third year I was the lead in the school play and that meant
I ended up hanging out with all the six years and I then continued that for the rest of my school
life I hang out with the older kids kind of the older kids and yeah like a lot of them took me kind
of under their wing and I wouldn't say I had girlfriends but I was never short when I went to a party

(01:13:00):
of a a wee snog or a fumble so but never really I didn't want to get you know held down man I just
want to be loose and be able to go parties and snog who I wanted so yes that was my kind of instance but
unfortunately there was if I look back now yes like I I told this story on the the first episode but

(01:13:22):
I do remember there was a girl who let's call her Claire because that was her name and you told
the story about a girl who Claire on that episode yeah who yeah I really liked her and I did snog her but
like I was 13 she was like 70 but so it's never gonna work like it's not gonna be a girlfriend thing
it was just a little random like couple of snogs at parties because you know she'd have been embarrassed

(01:13:47):
to be kind of seen although she wasn't like she did you know like me but not probably we'd never
have worked anyway yeah what about you I know because I listened to that episode today so I know
all about it because you told it well no well yeah I mean I never had a girlfriend at school until I say
sort of 16 and that was the only time and it was sort of at school that had a girlfriend and

(01:14:08):
there were there was sort of back-to-back girls and but you know I remember like there was always like
a few cut especially in fourth fifth and sixth year there were always like a few couples that were
just always sort of wandering around the playgrounds or wandering around the social area holding hands
they just always be like together on their arms showing each other and stuff and you know I remember

(01:14:29):
I was just you know you stood there in a group of boys and somebody who you knew or maybe on the
periphery of your friend group would walk by kind of holding hands with some girl that he was going
out with and you would everybody was sort of like what I was gonna scoff with talks gonna mutter
to each other but I think probably we were all pretty jealous really I think we would all have
liked to have wandered around holding hands with a nice girl like Dale who I mentioned earlier he

(01:14:53):
he started going out with a girl when we were in sixth year at school called Cheryl and they they
wandered around holding hands but the thing I used to take the piss out of them for it the way they
held hands was the whole sort of the whole kind of the whole sort of finger linkage you know what I
mean when the hands are all together yeah we used to make a lot of fun out of Dale but I think we're

(01:15:14):
all a bit jealous with all like so to be girl friends yeah because you were standing in the playground
with orange fingers and me in your watsits and he was coming back to class with his finger smelling
like he just had a packet of scampy fries so she didn't have read the other like her
speak about the film so Gregory it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's a wrong the school football team

(01:15:36):
um Gregory gets out of his position he ends up having to play in goal and Dorsey who is an
emerging female football talent ends up taking his spot in the team as like the striker
effectively or yeah and everyone in the school is in love with Dorsey and our ticket
fort was ever and selling them in the toilets and in other places and yeah that's effectively the

(01:16:02):
whole film it revolves around Gregory being in love with Dorsey but she's stolen his place on the
football team and quite progressive to have a female footballer in back in 1981 very progressive
actually it's just not a bad player either I bet I read that uh good tea wall is trained with a
partake thistle to get ready for the role um or Dorothy but it leads to one of the great scenes where

(01:16:27):
it's de hip burn as well it's not de walles oh sorry SDT's mum yeah de hip burn um it at least
like great scene where um Gregory's in goal having you you served his pal Andy who's been bumped
out the team who was a previous goalie who's behind the net so then can I talking about how wrong it is

(01:16:47):
to have a girl in the team and everything until she scores the goal and he starts he starts he starts
he does a complete eutern on his feelings about girls in the team and then Gregory gives outrage
when the opposition players start running over then I'll get taught it as well she scores yeah
pattern on the back oh yeah oh they're patterned about they're given her a kiss and everything

(01:17:11):
that's why he's upset that everyone's hugging her everyone's all over Dorsey because of um her
heroics in scoring the goal yeah and it's great and and I think the character is not one
dimensional as such but okay let's be honest acting isn't the best however a lot can be said
for that a lot of the characters in this film yeah well that's what makes it yeah but that's what makes

(01:17:34):
it so likable and so quaint and so kind of homely that I love that and I think there are the scene she
has with Jake Dorsey when he's teaching her you know the the pivot to move and yeah the trap it's
really good I think it's really well done there's nothing seedy about that you kind of think when

(01:17:55):
he comes into the change room you're like where's this going but it's all about football for him there's
nothing seedy about it there's nothing you know sexual it's he's just genuinely trying to help and
and I I think that's a really lovely scene he's I mean he's actually very good in it uh Jake
Darsey you know he's he's he's a bit of his character just sort of a bit of a figure that fun

(01:18:15):
especially for the other two teachers played by Alex Norton and John Bett you know like he's he's
sort of trying to ingratiate himself a bit with them and they you know they're the sort of don't take
him to seriously as the PE teacher but he's a little bit oblivious to it you know as you see he's just
all about the team but that's it he's all about the team there's nothing there whereas the other

(01:18:35):
teachers are obviously getting up to no good you know as as Alex Norton looking like a young Phil Collins
is is saying like are you still getting those poems for wee June and he says you'll get put away
and then you know teacher takes a bite out of a cake with which obviously with a cherry on top

(01:18:57):
which meant to look like a nipple yeah it says oh 16 you're all redhead and bites into the cake like
slight yeah we were that nowadays you couldn't put that in could you nowadays that's very
of its time yeah it's funny I laughed it's innocent but is it innocent not be the I think it's no

(01:19:18):
different values I mean there's the there's the scene when the all the workies that are working
outside the school were are whistling at the at the ghirls as they come out you know and which again
through the kind of modern lens probably not acceptable but you know it's acceptable in the 80s
a lot was acceptable in the 80s me a lot was acceptable uh Gregory is assisted by his friends and we have

(01:19:46):
Andy and Charlie who are obviously going to Caracas again first kind of viewing in terms of realizing
that Charlie doesn't speak the entire film until the very end yeah he is very much the silent
ball of cumburnald yes and comes out with a wonderful world of wisdom so they're basically trying
to get girls and then they decide they're gonna go to Caracas because they've heard that the

(01:20:06):
ratio is like 10 to 1 that's like do you remember the urban myth of as if it was an urban myth but
when we were younger that like notting a university had like five to one female students so everyone
was applying for notting a university because yeah there was definitely it was definitely over time
now this reminded me and I read about this because I was like the only it and it's very similar to

(01:20:29):
a storyline in love actually where Chris Marshall's character goes to the States because he's
heard women but Richard Curtis has said that Gregory's girl is a massive influence on his writing
career so I think he has kind of stolen that storyline a little bit for that for that part of love
actually so yeah thanks so the mabryty that you know he is also assisted by Stevie who is an

(01:20:54):
aspiring chef great role as well he's kind of worldly wise lens him is quite cult you know and
is running quite a doughnut cake operation to give to the headmaster and also selling them in the toilets
which that is probably my favourite scene in the film the toilet scene Gregor goes into the toilet the
first thing you see is this 12 year old boy smoking a pipe I don't know I don't know if I noticed

(01:21:23):
that before but for some reason on this watch and it fucking really made me laugh it's just the way
the way so it looks like really distinguished but he's about 11 years old
you come through the toilet and they're selling photos of Dorothy you can buy two different sizes of
print there's a little sign there that says coming attraction naughty night nurse and I just

(01:21:47):
such a subtle it's never referenced it's like you have to be watching the film to see yeah yeah but
there's not a night nurse sign and it's such a reference to the the very first scene and one of
the last scenes as well yeah it's obviously it's good and then of course we have you know them selling the
cakes off the fucking sister and the toilet and it's it's genuinely just it's if you want to kind of

(01:22:10):
wrap up bill for sight in in a scene it's almost that scene like a kid smoking a pipe selling cakes
off a toilet selling photos and then a conversation about relationships and serious stuff it's it's
it's just all encompassed in that scene and it's fucking wonderful so one of the the the the the

(01:22:30):
the the the movie sort of orbits the football storyline in that how how how Gregory first sees Dorothy
for the first time and everything else and then maybe think myself obviously we've done a few of
these over the last seven or eight months if you are picking your ideal five a side team with
our favorite Scottish actors who would you who would your five B. So you can you can you can have

(01:22:55):
first pick living or dead like can I pick like a an ultimate like almost like a FIFA dream team
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they can they can wrestle me in your old stars okay I've got first pick
you can have first pick okay oh fuck right so Scottish actors they have to have been on the
swallow I presume yeah yeah why not on one is yeah okay okay right goal I need someone big I need

(01:23:22):
someone wide then I need someone who looks who looks like Ali Maxwell I'm picking Ian McCall
McCall and goals Ian McCall and goals yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he looks a bit like
Ali Maxwell I'm picking Ian McCall and goals yeah I can I can I can see him leaning against the
goal post having a bag when the all the actions in the second half yeah that's fine yeah who who you

(01:23:48):
come with Michelle McManus and goals for me she's not a fucking actress is she she's done a bit of
acting as she's not okay oh so it's it's a mixed team is it right yeah well why not it's just
you know we've got a we've got Dorith here they're turning out for the boy steam I think we can have
some ladies okay okay fine okay I need a I mean a defender choice of Michelle McManus

(01:24:13):
don't land quite as well so I hope that would be anyway yeah because I I know why you picked her
Greg and I'm trying to not allow to why you've picked her so because that's quite offensive so I'm
just leaving that slide nimble I need someone in a defense okay someone resilient someone who's not

(01:24:34):
afraid to go into battle somebody's not afraid of anything I'm taking polyana McIntosh
polyana McIntosh in defense I could see her we've seen her in two very resilient roles in two horror
films that is play what was the home invasion one called again I'm in white set white set there's
that was it so I need somebody who can who's not afraid to not afraid to do a big sliding tackle

(01:25:03):
who's gonna use their use their body maybe stick their elbows out a wee bit I've got a go with
guardian of the asylum seekers lonely McCann oh okay yeah big towering I can imagine like a
almost like a yap stand type player yeah I can imagine them doing the sort of fills that

(01:25:23):
game soon as was famous for when you would like dive in getting a bit good air stop like studs first
on two feet and then get up pointing at his own shin I can see you're doing a bit of that I can
yeah get on board with that okay right okay midfield I think I'm a one defender two midfielders
and a striker so I'm a nimble fielder I need a little midfield general like a like a Gordon

(01:25:49):
striking or like a Roy Keene or like a little nippy like a Billy Bremner yeah so I'm gonna pick the
late great Brian McCarty yeah I could see McCarty in that role yeah yeah so I could shout so who am I
putting up against McCarty I need somebody who is probably quite durable you know yeah

(01:26:10):
he's McCarty I think probably I think McCarty's gonna get is gonna want to get in amongst it
is make it fucking stuck in yeah what he lacks what he lacks an ability he makes up for in fucking heart
and tough tackling you're when you take your socks off you're gonna have a fucking stud rig down
your shin from McCarty yeah for sure I saw a shin pad cracker right so I want somebody who

(01:26:33):
can who is gonna be durable and resilient so I think I'm gonna pick Tommy Flanagan I could see
head holding McCarty holding McCarty off there you know they they could think they're a wee bit
sort of cut from the same cloth yeah I get that yeah okay I need someone you know what this could be

(01:26:53):
class as cheap however I don't care because he definitely counts okay I'm taking in my second
birthday in my field x greenic Morton player martin constant okay so in that case I need somebody
who can who can stop the young comps then he's tracks somebody who's who's gonna get into his head

(01:27:15):
the natural choice then has to be Tony current oh great choice great choice he's gonna
psych out constant he's gonna appeal to his tender heartedness by pretending to have a terminal
list maybe I don't know maybe but yeah I think I think current could stop could stop comms and then
we also know that it's good good bulk and show current because the famous the last scene of

(01:27:38):
Mayflies is the CPP upheats and now so it goes a good ball off the volley could go off the volley
well okay my last choice my striker you can veto this if you want because it could be quite
tendious however and I fucking hate to put him in this team jackie McCulland aka
alema coist the coist up front I mean you can veto it if you want because technically he's not an

(01:28:06):
actor he's been in one film he has to do it I'll be happy no no you let me have think man is some
goals like at least I can do is that you have a voice and I mean we know that he's gonna hang
around by the goalpost anyway you know he's not gonna get in amongst it that much and I know
that big orio fucking break his legs so you could have a coist all day long but then who is my striker
going to be you know I was thinking of somebody who I thought could be was probably quite quick

(01:28:30):
probably somebody who maybe runs with her elbows up the kind of keep sort of keep the defenders
off him maybe nimble and I my first thought was a young David Heyman I can see Heyman running with his
is it he's a slight guy but I think in his pop probably quite fast he does play a football only
doesn't play a football I plays a guy who shags a footballers girlfriend in the play for today play

(01:28:56):
just your work I can see Heyman there I can see Heyman holding some people off like being maybe
perhaps a bit misjudged you know expectations might be low for him and then you know he's got he's
got good he's got good sort of backup from current I'm going to go with Heyman a young Heyman
obviously old guy now young Heyman yeah of course of course I'm taking fucking prime hourly boys I'm not

(01:29:21):
taking fat Sally now I'm taking prime hourly of course yeah yeah fat Sally yeah I mean they could
old Heyman's probably push a football now but I'm in my hands these days but then the one the one
thing that I didn't actually prepare you need to have a coach got be somebody in a sideline
shouting encouragement or abuse potentially depending on how the team are playing who is your

(01:29:46):
pick I'm so torn I'm so torn between two people fuck it Brian Cox yeah Cox would be that I
mean if you're having constant I don't think Cosmo would pick Comston on his team and if he did
pick him I think Comston would be like just not after the fucking bastard door exactly I think
if he did pick him maybe it would it would it would always be he'd always have his eye on Cosmo

(01:30:07):
the whole time just in case you know he'd be so nervous about disappointing them again so I would
have to have Cosmo I think I think Cosmo would be a good guy and seeing layer in the manager's jacket
moustache we'd be a bit of frost on it and a winter's day watching the for his five o'clock team so
the the Nikki select is Brian Cox's coach and we have a team of Eamacol, Polyanna Macintosh,

(01:30:31):
Brian Macardi, Martin Comston and Ali Macoist and we have Greg select which is coach of James Cosmo
and it's Michelle McManus and Corris Rory McCad, Toby Flattig and Tori Cuddin and David Hayler I
mean I think I think you're getting fucking spanked if I go getting turned over I don't know I can see

(01:30:51):
yeah I can see big Rory doing a bit of sweeping I bet Rory's quite quick for a big chat surprisingly
fast surprisingly quick on his feet surprisingly fast I'm sure he is yeah definitely if if if if
he can't win the ball he's just gonna knock it just got fucking knock you over in it right so we
spoke a bit about Gregory's friends however we haven't spoken about Douglas Sanakin as Billy the

(01:31:15):
Windu cleaner a friend of the podcast who likes our posts I don't know if he's ever listened but he
does he likes our posts regularly so Douglas if you listen get in touch and say hello yeah a brief
row but fucking amazing is Billy the Windu cleaner and such an iconic line if I don't see you through
the week I'll see you through the window yeah and wonderful kind of character like it just turns up

(01:31:36):
and obviously an ex-people that female teacher is very happy to see him yeah and he's telling his
life about the window cleaner and stuff and I love the little scene that he has on Madlin when he
offers her a fuck yeah that excited to school that I mean that whole scenes great because he's you
know he's stunned up to meet his old pals he's got his good gear on that he's he's had to wash 80 windows

(01:31:59):
to pay for or however many windows he's had to wash the pay for his his new jacket and he's good gear
and everything and a Madlin's just hanging about obviously waiting for Gregory it's he's sort of feels
compelled to have a conversation with her so he starts off by offering her a cigarette

(01:32:20):
but that's again I mean that's again they can perhaps clumsy our hands there could be a whole
sort of undertone to that scene but you just like you just accept it it's not like you never
for a minute think that Billy is trying to fire in a Madlin show I mean it's just just that again

(01:32:40):
it's that surreal sort of forcyphian kind of universe yeah but then the the one line it like it's in
the next scene when they're all walking home together and Gregory leaves a Madlin and I think Andy
that says like about Madlin she's a 10 year old with the body of a 13 year old yeah that's disappointing
yeah yeah that's a shame that's that's one slight kind of mark on this film the kind of yeah that's

(01:33:09):
not okay at all and yeah I mean but the ironic thing is that Andy is supposed to be a 15 year old
with the face of a fucking 29 year old what my granddaibu described as a well-lived-in face
what probably can is good I think that line is a shame however let's go to something that I think is

(01:33:33):
is quite nice and progressive for night and a one is when Gregory is in the whole mechanism it's class
and he's telling Stevie that he's in love and he says I was a mature woman no it's someone from the
football team and Stevie is kind of fine with it he's like are you told anyone else maybe it's just a
phase like is Andy and it's so kind of nonchalant and matter of fact and then the way what he says is

(01:33:56):
Dorothy and then he describes her with the hair on the teeth yeah it's such a beautiful little kind of
clumsy speech from Gregory is that mature woman did you wash your hands
someone in the football team really yeah you told anyone else about us probably just a phase

(01:34:20):
who has it Andy no it's Dorothy she's I get him yeah I mean let me know again you know there are a few
sagas unacceptable sort of lines and scenarios in the film to some extent but it's also in a lot
of ways very progressive because to your point you know when when he thinks that Gregory's in love

(01:34:42):
with somebody from the football team there's no sort of there's not even like a pent of homophobia
when he thinks it's a guy you know what I mean he's just like oh you know well you you make it over
it you know or something like that it's not there's no sort of pariah and kind of pariah in of
Gregory because he thinks that he's gay you know because he's got the wrong end of the stick and if you

(01:35:04):
think about night night one there's a line that the the the camera of the character's name but the
photographer actually delivers when him and Gregory in the dark room and in a million years there
be no men no women just a world full of wankers yeah and how apt is that you know 40 odd years later
it's developing that way isn't it is but then that's a thing where the red and says a version of that

(01:35:29):
in trade spot when they're out in the countryside doesn't it they know I wonder if they I wonder if
urban whale sheds maybe taking a little bit of that from Greg he's scared oh I can't really imagine
it's they sound like sort of thing of the mulls we do it just be like I sort of coincidants might
just be silly they subconscious yeah better say the pity or something you know of course I've
mentioned on the the previous episode but we can't let it go on past that of course towards the end

(01:35:55):
when they go on the date and he goes they go to Capaldi's chip shop which was of course a real chip
shop owned by Peter Capaldi's family yeah yeah there there's lovely elegant hands so yeah I just
try and see you like you work there I did try and see the actor who hands the chips over see if
how elegant his hands looked but you didn't really get a good chance to examine them you know I don't

(01:36:19):
think it was Capaldi so I like famously this was filmed in Cumberanald and you obviously if
you know that was your old stomping ground you you were back there a couple of years ago or
a couple of recently has it changed much from the film it's not changed at all and I mean the the film
is maybe it's mostly filmed in an area of Cumberanol called Avery and Hill there's a couple of

(01:36:43):
scenes this because famously Cumberanald has the town center which has been voted a number of times
the ugliest building in the UK for me as a kid I've got a lot of fond memories of the town center
because you know there were one or two good toy shops there the one two nice cafes and stuff
where my dad just taking his little kid so you know then Cumberanald Town Center in the mid 80s will

(01:37:07):
always have a place in my heart but this there's the scene there's a scene that's filmed on top
of the because the car parts on the roof I think I don't know which scene it is but there's a scene
that's definitely filmed on the roof I think it's when they come out of the cafe Gregory Madeline
that's in the roof of the town center and then the famous scene where Gregory's waiting for Dorothy

(01:37:28):
for the date in front of the clock the clock is the clock is actually the clock from the old
and in a train station that used to be at the balcony canister in Glasgow where for the north it down
and built a shopping centre there and they saved the clock and it's still there you can go and see it
and apparently I read as well that the the phone booth where Carol changes into her 80s finery

(01:37:54):
when Gregory's waiting for her when they were taking the old red phone booths out there was a bit
of an outcry from the local residents they wanted it put back but we had to put a new kind of
version of it in because unfortunately the one that we see Carol getting changed in was taking
away the scrappy before the appeal could be granted so but yeah and you know for listeners overseas

(01:38:21):
like Cumberanald is a sort of archetypal British post-war new town there's a lot of experimentation
Cumberanalds you can see that you know in terms of like communities the way that some of the flats
and houses are built you know I don't think there's some of the architecture I don't think you

(01:38:42):
would see anywhere else in the world the the the residential architecture I mean it's just that
it's a sort of like 1950s idea of what the future would look like you know back then I think but
you know it's like it's it's a good town Cumberanalds it's yeah my my dad that there for a long time my

(01:39:03):
sisters grew up there I spent a lot of time there and and the fact that it's a more devised than
this film just makes it all the more special couple of questions for you is this the single best
cinematic tale of growing up as a teenager and I mean from our perspective because I don't know

(01:39:23):
I know we have a we have quite a big American audience I don't know how realistic things like
the breakfast club or 16 candles or even American pie later on are but for this to be made
effectively like 14 15 years before I was going through the same thing it resonated with me at the
time and it still kind of resonates with me now is this the kind of best description of that

(01:39:49):
or are we just taking that as like a kind of because we're sculpted and because it's a book for
a sight film or are we taking it as that fact if you know what I mean yeah I mean that's probably
a bit of that for sure but I think you know there's there's a real honesty about it you know because
the thing is I remember you know when we touched on already when I was a teenage boy it felt like

(01:40:11):
you know they famously people say that girls mature faster than boys and I think that's true
but you know it's certainly resonates with me this film in that sense because you know when you
hit a certain age a teenager girls just they become you know you I think you sort of put them
on a pedestal because obviously you obviously you're going through puberty and everything else

(01:40:35):
but they just seem girls seem to have it all together you're there and as an adult you know
that you find out that they didn't the girls were kind of floundering just as much as the boys were
but at the time you don't it doesn't seem like that and the thing about this movie is the girls are
you know they're organized they're mature they they're pulling the strings and the guys are

(01:40:59):
kind of bumbling around like Gregory or they're they're talking about girls or they can they
and Charlie they're trying to start conversations and relationships with girls in the most awkward
cringey way and that it means there's a lot of there's a lot of like reality in that despite the fact
that as we've mentioned a few times the the sort of universe of the film is is is quite surreal but

(01:41:26):
it's honest I think you know that portrayal of teenage boys and the relationship with girls there's
a real honesty to it I think which you don't I don't necessarily think you get I think American pie
sort of strives for that honesty but it it it's not so much about having a girl friend because
one of the characters in the American pie has a girlfriend when the film starts American

(01:41:48):
pie is just about having sex you know like a load of virgin boys that are just a dime to have sex
you know in this film although there is the scene at the beginning where when they're
pervying on the nurse taking her clothes off and things they don't really talk about having sex
is it's about meeting as about meeting women that's that's that yeah meeting girls being women getting

(01:42:10):
a girlfriend yeah it's about having a girlfriend yeah it's it's not about that something I forgot
to come back to you earlier because I think you mentioned something about having sex and it was
like that's not what the film's about it's about having a girlfriend and like sex isn't really
mentioned the only person that mentioned sex is Billy he says he's done it 11 times which
I don't know if he has a girl but you're right the I think I think I think Billy's watched

(01:42:32):
the confessions of a window cleaner well that's exactly it this would come out probably just
around about that time or just after that time and you're right I think that the women know what
they're doing they're in control they're the ones that are orchestrating everything the boys
are just teenagers they're immature they're just talking about tits bum funny the lot yeah that's
and that's what you did when you were 15 16 you know kind of things so I think it is a good good

(01:42:56):
interpretation of this yeah I mean even the adult men um are like boys as well I mean
there's there's the quote I've come right is it me carol where she says um it's a Gregory you're
you're watching my dad he's old and this is got an excuse for being a prick you know yes
that's very true very true and that is kind of yeah it's a weird thing like it's almost like a

(01:43:19):
Benjamin button thing in this film in terms of the you know the kids madeline and richer
are the the smartest people in the film effectively they're the one in control they know
everything's going on the teenagers are a little bit kind of unsure and then all the adults apart
from I'd have to say Jay Darcy's character he seems actually okay like they are the rest of them
were a bit childish in a way in terms of the the teachers and stuff so yeah um second question I

(01:43:45):
would say is is this your favorite or is this the best it's a two-prong question favorite and
best built for South film uh we've covered we've only got one left to cover on the swallow we've
covered all of his Scottish films but we'll cover this one twice so I guess that counts like
what would be um your favorite and the best in your opinion I think is I mean this subject

(01:44:09):
of obviously you said in my opinion for me his best film is local hero because it's it's sort of
polished you know like if you watch that Senkon feeling and then you watch Gregory's girl it's
it's a bit more polished and then local hero is a bit more polished and then you get to but
to me get to comfort and joy it's actually it's not as good a story as local hero but in terms of

(01:44:33):
as a movie and everything it's a bit moat it's a bit slicker I think um it doesn't have as much
of the sort of side kind of scenes and conversations with that to realism it's a sort of very much
focuses on the on the story so yeah it's not my favorite it's I don't think it's the best for me
it looks the best bill for side film personally it's my second favorite uh it's my second favorite

(01:44:57):
bill for side film I think for sure I just you know I walk with hero is hard to beat yeah what about you
how do you feel about it I kind of feel the same I think local hero probably is his best film
because it's more cinematic and more you're out there but it still retains the surrealism
yeah you have you know the for example like I'd the scene with like Ricky Fulton and Alex Doran

(01:45:22):
like in local hero it's just a perfect example of the fucking bizarreness that he's still
able to instill and you're right comfort and joy doesn't have that kind of a little bit mental
stuff for some reason I fucking adore comfort and joy oh why is it yeah something about it and I
almost I don't know if I can pick between three I I I will agree actually I think local hero probably

(01:45:44):
is the pinnacle I think Gregory's called probably is number two behind that in terms of my favorite I
think I don't know I kind of don't want to watch local hero too often because it's so special yeah I
don't want to get sick of it and I think it's the same with with all of them they're just they're all
just wonderful mass pieces that we can just put in a box and just leave and bring out whenever we

(01:46:05):
want to yeah that's what I wanted to ask yeah that was my mighty question in terms of in terms of
that so there's there's one there's one thing that we've not spoken about yet I don't think
uh and we're gonna come back to them but it's check money oh yes there's something there's something
just about it doesn't matter what you're seeing but there's something about checkmurri's voice that

(01:46:29):
really at worst makes me smell but generally just makes me chuckle you know is when he's when he's
when he's playing the piano and the young kids are kind of kind of peering in and he's like a way to go
you young boys it's just it's voice it's off you go small boy oh that's it that's it off you go small

(01:46:49):
boys so I thought I mean I'm not gonna do it justice but obviously checkmurri was a very famous
comedian in the UK not just in Scotland but in the UK quite a unique kind of turn of phrase
and comedy which you know people here and me read them are just going to think well that's not funny
but if you hear him saying it and his delivery of it is very very funny but my favourite one

(01:47:15):
is what he says and he stand up my father was from Aberdeen and a more generous man you couldn't
wish to meet I have a gold watch that belonged to him he sold it to me on his deathbed I wrote
my check for it post dated of course the only other one that I'm going to read and again this is

(01:47:37):
very much of its time to sort of humor that went over well back in the days when he was on the stage
but he says my wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mud pack for two days she looked nice and then
the mud fell off but I mean as a as the headmaster in this sort of gentle funny often surreal movie

(01:48:03):
perfect the cast putting checkmurri in there I I forgot and I didn't read it on my research again
for the second time but when I listened to the first podcast and the song he's playing when he says
off you go small boy that was just chipmurri fiddling about the piano and the oversight over her
day one day was like can you do that for a scene he's like yeah sure and he did it and then he

(01:48:26):
build him for the music rights because it's his own composition isn't it so they had to pay him
this we ended up having to pay him just for the student little thing did you think and I couldn't
get over this like it's chipmurri but for some reason watching it again because I haven't seen him
for so long well and it's the last time I watch this it's it's Claude from the apprentice isn't it

(01:48:48):
it is a bit like that yeah it is a bit I mean the scene when he's talking Steve about the the buns
I mean it's it's as low they're talking about something incredibly serious the way that
yeah funny I mean yes good idea

(01:49:08):
you know it's we really asked if they could if he could have black cotton jam and he's like yeah
still problem like a good good you know it's just so funny so funny it's like not planning a bank
heist or something yeah yeah he's you know it's a shame that we don't see a wee bit more of them
because but then it but then it's a shame because you know he's only really in a couple of scenes

(01:49:32):
and you know almost runs away with the film almost you know and maybe a bit more of them would have
been too much to your point I think one of my last points is about the soundtrack which it's just
like late 70s TV jazz type music which I love apparently the soundtrack has never been released

(01:49:54):
yeah like to be available I would love to have it because it's just it's just CD kind of TV jazz
music which it's beautiful it's sort of like it's a sort of music you'd expect to hear like in the
fine fair when you are doing helping you among the shopping you know I mean it's just me that

(01:50:15):
opening music and closing credits music has been stuck in my head all week I can keep myself
whistling it and things it's never really sort of got in there before when I've watched it
they watched the film but yeah but there's something about there's something about this style of this
film and the music in particular like the opening music that it's just it's just it really the

(01:50:38):
music in particular just really takes me back to being a wee boy and watching like STV and some of
the you know stuff like Stuckey and stuff like that you know that there's sort of whole budget and
yeah yeah just you know something just sort of got some session musicians in that bang something out
with a very very thin brief yeah no it's wonderful I really like the music of this I'd love to get

(01:51:03):
in a soundtrack yeah I'm sure I'm sure with your uh dexterity you could probably probably find it
you can navigate the internet pretty well can't you? You'll see yes although there is one thing I
want to mention I know we're getting close to the getting close to the end of the podcast and
the categories but a fact about this film that fucking blows my mind so the budget like they're not

(01:51:24):
sure there's the Wikipedia says that the budget was either £200,000 or £189,000 the box office was
25 million international 25 million quid in my national I mean that is absolutely amazing hey there's
some good uh clear grogans got some good anecdotes about Gondas America publicize the film with

(01:51:48):
Gordon's and clear and stuff and they I think they had to record the the voice the the soundtrack like
the spoken soundtrack again because the accents and the original record then are a bit too thick for
many of the audiences but um yeah just I mean brilliant they go out successfully no it's wonderful and
I think that's and I mentioned this on the first time we watched it but I love this it's such an

(01:52:12):
amazing career factness such an amazing thing to you know for any aspiring filmmaker anything
although you wouldn't need to do that now do that now you wouldn't need to do that now because it's
all in digital but Bill Forsyth had written a script for a Gregory's girl and wanted to make it
and couldn't get funding and he was working as an editor at the time so what he did was when he was
editing films he would save like the effectively the fag end of the film like the thing that hadn't been

(01:52:37):
used the offcuts yeah the unused film and he saved all them up until he had enough to make a film
and he made that syncing feeling and using those offcuts just stitched together to make a film and on
the back of that he got the funding to do Gregory's girl and look at that it made fucking 25 million
yeah it's it's incredible that that yeah it happened and apparently uh David Potnum the famous uh

(01:53:03):
British producer who produced them the chariots of fire and stuff uh Bill Forsyth asked
him if he produced it and he said no because he thought it was too similar to that syncing feeling
and then of course regretted it and then so that's why Potnum produces um local hero you know
because he missed the boat on uh Gregory's girl that's almost similar to the story of uh

(01:53:25):
them approaching the way he's to do a song for the train spot in Trance Park yeah
soundtrack and uh no gallag we'll see and I don't know do you fucking song film about trains fuck off
and then I saw the best British film full-time fuck yeah fuck that yeah fuck that so I don't know
I think he's done okay yeah I don't think he's fucked it he's done okay yeah I'm sure he's done okay

(01:53:47):
uh so but the first time we did Gregory's girl we didn't have her uh coveted swallow awards no now
we do so shall we shall we put it through its paces let's do Greg what have we got first okay so
normally the first the first award would be for the best pub but because the film is about teenagers

(01:54:08):
there's obviously no pub so that takes us on to the James Cosmo award for being in everything
Scottish which there's a quite a few that choose from but I think I know which one you've landed on
because I think we've landed the same one yeah of course of course I'm picking Alex Norton oh I
picked question I picked the vanerson oh did you oh shit yeah true oh he's a good shout as well but

(01:54:33):
no I've picked Alex Norton yeah yeah I think Darcy is uh is a is a is a runner-up for sure yeah he
has to be yeah very close third yeah but no I went to Norton oh funny yeah we different yeah
yeah Dave Anderson's a good shout though yeah and he's very good in this um so the next award is the
Francis Begbie award for gratuitous swearing so there's not a lot of gratuitous swearing is such

(01:54:59):
and this is there's there'll be better swearing what did you go for I went with uh Gregory telling
Richard to piss off yeah I went with it's not um it's not exactly gratuitous swearing but I went with um
if the line if if God what it garrows to play football they'd put their tets on what else
okay um so the next award it's a bit of a slam dunk this one but the you and me Greg are award for

(01:55:30):
gratuitous nudity oh well it's the nurse at the beginning obviously it's not in us the naughty nurse
the naughty nurse who wasn't aware that she was being naughty although she wants to get an
undressed in front of a window with a light on you know so oh it's a bit like you're trying not
to get a boner of videos that you were watching earlier listen I didn't try to there wasn't like
videos right just after the whole freckled couple the back all that was a type of thing that was

(01:55:56):
appearing in my ex formerly known as Twitter feed which is why I turned off my account I might
reactivate it because I like I like looking at it's better okay next one then the Jake McQuillin awards
for your t-zoot not a lot of uh over at violence and this but I'm interested in what you went for
it Gregory taking the comb off the lad in the toy that was the the only thing I really had like

(01:56:21):
you only real violence but yeah yeah you could say some of the football like tackles and stuff but yeah
I want Gregory taking the comb off the lad in the toy well I went with Gregory taking the when him
in adorothy were doing about practice and it takes the ball in the bread basket um and he sort of
is sort of crumbles um that was my choice next then um archetypal Scottish moment I struggled

(01:56:46):
with this because it's just so Scottish so I actually went with cumber not because it was a new town
kind of a new setting a new beginning and yeah I went with cumber not it's been the archetypal
Scottish moment okay what about you I went with uh uh girls being better at football than boys given
the success of the lady's national team compared to the although the the men are now in the

(01:57:10):
euros so maybe that's not quite uh maybe that's not quite as uh uh in vogue as it would have been a
couple of years ago but um you know I was quite pleased myself coming up with that one again
no it was good it was good I give you a little golf clap there yeah yeah like uh put in McManus
and goals stintland quite as well to hope to have the last award then who who wins the movie

(01:57:34):
for you I have put john goren sincler because obviously it's his film and it's he's lead role and it
led to better things for him you know the the next year he was on top of the pop singing with the
fucking Scotland national football yeah like yeah yeah however also and I think I've only said this
once before and I can't remember whatever sort of said this on I'm not gonna go back and listen

(01:57:58):
to our names we all want because we got Greg reay's girl that's true absolutely yeah for sure I agree
it'd be very difficult to award this to anybody other than john goren sincler but you want to
give it to clear grogan don't you I don't mean the the award I mean but I mean the award sorry yeah yeah

(01:58:18):
no I wasn't gonna say that well this has turned into a bit of a Greg is a perv air episode somehow
um I started yeah I regret it now I mean it's it's it's sincler's movie but there are a lot of actors
that are reaching for it you know I think Jake Darcy is fucking brilliant in it obviously that

(01:58:39):
yeah chick moray is brilliant in it even like even Dave Anderson in the news he's only on screen for
a few minutes but it's brilliant has exchanged with Greg reay's absolutely brilliant you know
but yeah 100% it's definitely Gordon sincler's yeah completely agree
yeah wonderful so okay so it's our hundredth episode that is our hundredth episode and that was

(01:58:59):
Greg reay's girl now if that was a kind of special choice episode effectively because it was our
hundredth episode I picked 99 in which we did the party's just beginning so that means that 101 is
your choice Greg so why do you tell us what we're gonna be covering on the next episode of the
culture swalley okay so I'm gonna read you the plot the synopsis not the plot but the synopsis of

(01:59:25):
the film first okay tell you about the film so the synopsis says I think a five-year-old teacher has
fantasies about a 16-year-old student is politically motivated lessons inspire two students to plot
to overthrow a businessman in the suspect of trading in torture equipment of course I'm talking
about the 99 sequel to Greg reay's girl Greg reay's two girls just for you don't make me do it Greg

(01:59:50):
I don't want to watch that film you fucking watch Greg you you white you said I really hope you
pick Greg reay's two girls that's like literally the only reason that he picked it
as I get to you my best is pal let do we watch that do we watch it okay on the next episode
the culture swalley we will be doing a Greg reay's two girls fuck sake it's it's oh it's fucking oh

(02:00:16):
right I've got to come up with a beaser for the next one after that fucking hell um the chat the
chat is over is covering Greg reay's two girls again in our 200 episodes slinton on I feel confident
and sane but if we make it to 200 I'm gonna pick it just for a laugh and right okay uh right
thank you very much everyone for listening I hope you enjoyed that or 100th episode and I hope

(02:00:40):
we kind of did Greg reay's girl justice again yeah I think we we missed a few things that we cover the
first time but you can go back and listen to episode two of the culture swalley I listened to it
today it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be it's pretty bad though however we have improved
since then thank you for listening if you want to follow us on the socials you can you can follow us
on insta at culture swalley pod you can follow us on x from when we're twitter at swalley pod or at

(02:01:04):
try not to jerk off or something um try not to get a boner um and if you want to get in touch with
this for anything you've seen in the news or anything you'd like us to cover or if you just
want to reach out and say hello you can follow uh you can email us sorry on culture swalley at gmail.com
Greg we have a wonderful website as well don't we we do and it's all updated i updated it all especially

(02:01:25):
for today you can find us at culture swalley.com links to all well more than 100 episodes because
i've got our shanko and we special and one or two other specials on there but a hundred plus
episodes at your disposal you can hear niki and i talking about our favourite uh scottish tv and
cinema films and i think which i think is important that we say a big thank you because there's a few

(02:01:50):
listeners like strong Henry and canada and they uh who have been with us for a long time uh and
always are very very nice to us and the socials and very engaging um but you know if you're somebody
who's listening them all and just haven't written in then obviously be thank you too if you're listening
for the first time thanks to you as well go back you've got a big catalog to go back and listen to

(02:02:14):
uh yeah and i think yeah you're right we've got Henry we've got Andy we've got the many others that
have reached out to us over the last few years and most recently um Olivia um a listener who
did some artwork for this episode which we are going to put on our instagram as well uh so thank you
so much like Olivia and thank you to all our listeners like a hundred episodes it's amazing um but

(02:02:37):
yeah we'll still be here for a while we're gonna we're gonna continue this definitely yeah okay Greg so
i guess all that left to be said on this episode is if i don't see you through the week we'll see you
through the window
[Music]

(02:03:15):
off you go you small boys

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Episode 100 - Gregory's Girl - The ReSwally (1981)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 100 - Gregory's Girl - The ReSwally (1981)