Episode 83 - The Vanishing (2018) - The Culture Swally

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:33):
Yeah, looking good. I think I need to spend my attention to detail there. Yeah, no, it's good.
Yeah, things are okay. I think I told you earlier last week that my oldest daughter was going out
in a date on Friday. I think I put it in a group. You told me by 10, yeah, you did mention it on
the podcast, but yeah, you did tell me. Yeah, so I'm okay. Okay, we're going there in our own. Well, I

(00:56):
have been through the gamut of emotions. I keep on from work and my wife was like, I need to speak
to you about something. So like I'm thinking, like, it's bad news. You know what I mean? They,
someone, they, I love one has expired or something like that. And I'm like, what is that? What's
matter? She said, oh, um, a boy has asked me see you out in a date and I was like, oh, all right,

(01:19):
well, you know, it's going to happen eventually. You know what I mean? She's 15. Um, and my wife was
like, well, you're all right about it. And I was like, well, yeah, sure, I'd both pose. So you know,
I mean, she goes out in groups with boys. Do you know what I mean? It's not going to be that different
I'm thinking, but as the, as the evening wore on, it started to become a bit uneasy about it. So she
was supposed to be picking, picking her up an attack, say, on Friday night and taking her down to GBR

(01:43):
and by, you know, it's road to the mini golf place at seven o'clock. So I said, you're not going down to
GBR at seven o'clock on a Friday night. Like, absolutely not, you know what I mean? Forget it. I said,
you can go early or you can go to five if you want. So she was like, all right, okay. So she spoke to
the boy and he booked it again for five. And then the next day, I said, so look, I don't, look,

(02:04):
I don't think I want him picking you up. Why did he get me to come here? And I'll take his both over
there. She's like, oh no, come on, dad. And I was like, no, I said, I'll drop you off. I won't speak to him.
Yeah, I'll speak to him obviously, but I wouldn't like and barricure around anything, but, you know,
I said, but I feel like I need to sort of eyeball it because he doesn't go to our school. She met him,
like, down at the little vocal mall, and she was hanging out down there. I said, so I need to get

(02:27):
a look at him, you know what I mean? So she was like, oh, I arrived. And so then on the Friday morning,
my wife said, look, why don't you just let her let the boy pick her up? And I was like, no,
absolutely not. No, no, she was like, alright, whatever. And then I was taking me to school and I was like,
alright, look, you know, just tell him, you can come and pick you up if you still want to do that.
It's fine. So then I got in on Friday. I get a little bit early because I wanted to still have

(02:51):
a look at this kid when he came and picked her up. And she's still in her school uniform. And I was
thinking, why not change my school? And she was like, oh, I can't be bothered. I said, you're not
going to get ready for your day. And she was like, I don't want to go. And I was like, they trying to
repress the smile in my voice. Really? Why not? And she was like, I just don't really want to go.
I said, well, just tell them that we've said you've got to stay in and look after your sister because

(03:13):
we were going out and you'll do it another time. And she was like, yeah, but I don't really want to go
out with them at all. So like, inwardly, I'm, oh, literally, I'm punching the air outwardly. I'm like,
oh, really? How come? You know, tell me more about it. Just said, I think he thinks that we're going
out, you know, it's just a bit full on. So I said, I'll say, I'll say what? Just tell them that your

(03:35):
mum and dad have had to change their heart and said that we feel you're a bit too young to be going
out and you're really sorry. And maybe you'll see him like when there's a big gang of you or something
down at the mother of her. So she did. So she meshed them on Snapchat. She said that the message
was marked as red, but it didn't message her back. So then I was thinking, I feel a bit sorry for them
to have been sorry for like it because, hey, I'm sure you as I have been the, when we were

(04:00):
searching for that age, you know, you can, like, a girl who shows a bit of interest and you're like
super excited and keen and you probably, you probably go a bit, get a bit carried away with it
and maybe sort of put them off a bit or whatever and I'm like, you know what I mean? I'm sure, I know
that I did that more time. I was doing that when I was fucking 25, for that alone, 15.

(04:21):
I was still doing that shit, but it got me thinking about, I thought I was going to ask you, can you
remember the first sort of proper kind of date you ever went on and how old you were? Oh God, I don't
know if I can actually, like, first proper date. It's been so long, you know. Stuff that has been
to be there. I don't know. I mean, I remember first couple of, you know, it would have been like 13,

(04:46):
you know, going to parties because that was my thing, like, when I, I was at school, like, hang out with
older people. So when I was in like, 30, I was hanging out with like, all the six years and stuff,
like, I don't know, it came about, I think, sort of, being in school drama club. So, um, I was going
to parties, like when I was 30, 40, like, with everyone drinking and stuff and I would have a few beers

(05:11):
and my mum and come and pick me up at like 10, 11 or 12 after I'd snogged a couple of girls.
So I was, I was living the dream at that time. First proper date, I don't know if I can be
remembered. So the first time you've, the proper date would help, like, you've really done something
the bit growing up, you know, would be you've taken a girl to the pictures or for a bite to eat or

(05:34):
something like that. Yeah, maybe, I think I, I maybe would have been about, yeah, 16, I think, when
the first kind of official date I had. Yeah, and I went to the cinema with a girl. That's the, yeah,
did you remember you saw? One thing I remember, would I have been 16 or seven, no, would have been 16?
We went to see a life less ordinary with you and McGregor. So yeah, I must have been six. Yeah,

(05:59):
was definitely 16 at the time. Yeah, I think that was the first kind of like official date. Because
every other girl I'd been with, did I ever been like parties or I don't know, we hung out,
there was always a party at someone's house that we can't and we just would get together there.
Yeah. Like, never really go on official dates. Never go for like a walk around the park or something.

(06:21):
Yeah, that might have been it actually. Yeah, probably, I think, yeah, I think that probably
rings about as first official date. What about yourself? The first one I can sort of remember when I
feel like I did something a bit more grown up was I was going out with a girl when I was 16 called
Stacey Columnwood and I absolutely, like, because I used to have a long look, sure, he is here when I was

(06:43):
16, Nicky. So in some girls like that and she was, I was punched, like massively punched it and I
couldn't quite believe that, because I didn't ask her, like I'd heard in a great fine that she was,
she was into old Gregor Mass here. So I broke up with a girl that I was going out with at that time.
To go out with Stacey. I went out together for maybe, I mean, it seemed like longer but it was probably

(07:08):
like maybe two or three months, maybe maybe even two months. And the first sort of proper kind of
date was I went to her house to meet her. She lived in a town called Fetaranga, which is sort of
near Peterhead and we got the bus in Peterhead to go Christmas shopping together.

(07:28):
It was my suggestion and we went, did you get to have a look at our bubbles?
No, not once in all those months. We went to, there used to be sort of fishing chips, sort of coffee
on a travel sheet in Peterhead, that camera was called, but we went and they aren't had some lunch
and I paid for lunch, which was fucking massive. And it was, it was probably like, it was probably

(07:54):
less than a tenor, but in my mind I was like, fucking, high roller. God, that type of Stacey,
Stacey, put your purse away. I've got this, I've got this, I'll pay for your chips.
No, no, no, no, no, no, I insist, it's on me. And then you want a smoke sausage as well,
later on Stacey? Yeah, get a milkshake, whatever you want. Just whatever you want, this guy's
a limit. Get a oyster for Putin. And yeah, I think maybe like a week later she took me to one

(08:20):
side in the playroom, told me I was chucked and had in the playroom, in the playroom, in the playroom.
Oh, the playroom. I had to kind of pretend that it was fine, but it really wasn't.
You know what I mean? She was like, oh, you're such a nice guy, I really, I was really dreading
telling you and all this, and he, oh no, it's fine, it's fine, honestly, it's fine, look up,
but I won't find, we'll go find the boys, no, it's fine, but worry about it.

(08:44):
Then maybe another time. By the way, you owe me three, three quid,
don't think it. First up, that's fucking ten quid down the drain. So yeah.
Oh, terrible. Yeah, I think news this week, but on that, that is big piece.
That amazin' segue with hundreds of episodes in.
Should we see what's been going on in the news? Well, it's your catchphrase Greg, so yes,

(09:07):
let's have a look at what's been going on for Scotland. What's been going on for Scotland?
What's been going on in Scotland in the last couple of weeks?
Here are the jingle. Hello, this is the Outdoor Heavily's Broadcasting Co-operation,
and here is what's been going on in the news.

(09:29):
Okay Greg, so in the wonderful week that Scotland beat Cypres three nil and, you know,
we're on our way to the Euros and we're playing England this week as well. I've got a genuine
thought that we could probably beat them. What have you seen in the news in Scotland that has caught
your eye? Well, the news in Scotland over the last couple of weeks has been pretty dire

(09:52):
from like school concrete issues and all sorts of fucking dreadful things. So my first story this week
is actually one that it might not be the headline is what makes this story,
right? It's something to say. So it comes from the Scottish Sun on the 31st of August last week.

(10:15):
The headline needs grand theft auto. Scott Scranny stole £1.5 million from a city scrap metal firm
and spent it on holidays, caravans and new cars. So this is an Aberdeen granny,
Colleen Muirhead. She embezzled the money from employers business, which she also used to set up

(10:37):
savings accounts for her grandchildren. She admitted to misappropriating, let me get this, so this is
to the penny, right? So 1.5, 1,524,192 pounds in 37 pounds when she was employed at Panda Rosa Metals
on Canal Street in Aberdeen between June 2015 and October 2021 when she appeared in the High Doc,

(11:04):
sorry in the doc at the High Court in Edinburgh, the Colleen later admitted in Bezzle in the money
and told a colleague in a message, "Please have just raided exclamation mark." So I will need a visit
or in jail exclamation mark. Please don't think the worst of me. When her colleague replied that she
was totally confused, Colleen told her, "Don't be confused, I have taken the money, I'm so sorry."

(11:29):
Advocate David Dixon said Panda Rosa Metals is described as a company engaged in Ferris and
Non-Ferris metal recycling. It is owned and operated by the Macalister family. The prosecutors.
Oh Jesus! Yeah, you know what I'm messing with them. They are will-cant folk in Aberdeen,

(11:53):
if you know what I mean. You don't want to be messing with the Macalisters. I'm going to see what it's
going on or something. The prosecutor said the firm operated two sites in Aberdeen and
Muirhead was based on its canal road operation. She began work with the firm as an administrative
assistant in 2014. Mr Dixon said scrap metal was brought to the site by firms and individuals
where it was weighed and a ticket produced, which was then sent to staff who provided an

(12:16):
advice note containing details of material weight and price. Seller's then produced an invoice
and on its receipt the firm would instruct the transfer of funds. Mr Dixon said the accused
together with two other administrative employees were allocated specific client. They were each
responsible for producing advice notes and dealing with a subsequent invoices. The prosecutor said

(12:37):
during the course of the years, for the only accused, the accused began employment with Panda Rosa.
Another employee who was responsible for instructing payments of the accused wages became aware
that Muirhead went on expensive holidays with her family. Paid for a full table at a charity event,
purchased alcohol for those attending the event in bought new cars. The accused also told her

(12:58):
that she had paid for her son's wedding, had purchased static caravans and had set up
ISIS for a grand children. Mr Dixon said it is a platter, I beg your pardon.
I was going to say she's planning ahead. Mr Dixon said a senior partner in the firm,
Helen McAllister, reviewed company records and notified that funds were down. Other thought
this was due to the Covid pandemic but she was adamant that something wasn't right. She began

(13:22):
looking for information on a customer named G Anderson who she noted was a significant customer
during a review of the books. Mr Dixon said David McAllister, senior, confirmed he was not a
customer at the firm's Canal Roadside and office staff were instructed to look for paperwork in
relation to an account in that name. They were unable to find any recent paperwork but found some

(13:43):
advice notes and historical files. The advice notes that the reference number identified Muirhead
as producing the documentation. Mr McAllister Jr. phoned Muirhead who was on leave at the time,
probably on a massively expensive holiday, for information on the G Anderson files.
She told him where they were and asked him if she was in trouble. Mr Dixon said on the evening of
October 6th and 2021 Muirhead sent a WhatsApp message to a work colleague in which she

(14:08):
asked the workmate to submit her resignation on her behalf. Three days later she sent a further
message in which she stated, "Hi, just to let you know, I have done panda rolls out of a lot of money.
I was G Anderson." I checked with the bank details for G Anderson with Muirhead's bank details
found the sort code and the account numbers matched. Muirhead's house was searched while she was abroad.

(14:29):
Mr Dixon said the address was systematically searched during which documents and
relations to credit cards, financial letters relating to the purchase of motorcars and motorcycles.
Documentation related to ISIS for family members,
200 and, so I had 2,312 pounds in cash,
3,300 pounds in gift vouchers, and documentation in relation to the purchase of two static caravans

(14:53):
to the value of 78,000 pounds were recovered. First offender, Colleen Muirhead or Farcar Road Aberdeen,
was later interviewed by police and admitted to embezzling the money from her employer
and creating the mysterious G Anderson. The crown indicated it brings the intends to bring an
action to seize the proceeds of the crime from Muirhead. It defends solicitor Chris Gilmarton

(15:15):
told the court that it is acknowledged that a cost of the custodial sentence is inevitable.
So there, Grand Theft Auto, I mean the thing is, I don't know how should get away with it from June
to 2015, and October 21 before anybody really noticed, crackers.
And to steal that amount of money as well, it's insane. It's a huge amount of money to be able to get away

(15:40):
with stealing and all. Fucking hell. Panda Rosa Metals, I always remember,
they used to always have an advert on the Odin cinema whenever you want to watch a film.
Right, I thought there was something familiar, but I thought maybe I just passed, like,
a bike, a passport of their places regularly, but that's right, yeah.
Yeah, they always had an advert on the Odin and Rosa Metals. I never realised that was owned by

(16:01):
the Macalisters who are like the lintches ofality, effective if you know what I mean.
So, oh, she's been brave ripping them off, and how did they not notice? Like, 1.5 million.
Well, good, missing. You know, maybe to your point about them being the lintches of Aberdeen, you know,

(16:23):
like, it's probably not that, well, I would imagine that if I wanted to London some money,
owning a scrap metal business would be quite a good way of doing it. I'm not saying that that's what
the Macalisters are doing. I'm sure their business is reputable. I'm sure they wouldn't bring action
against a former employee for ripping them off, or 1.5 million pounds if it wasn't, but I can imagine

(16:43):
it's probably quite a good way to wash money. So, yeah. Oh, so this, this granny's been ripping them off
buying fucking static caravans. Charity tables. Investing in Isas for her grandchildren.
Charity tables. You know, she's spent the money wisely. It's not like she's frittered out of
way on cocaine and who else? She's kind of, she's invested in stuff and given some charity.

(17:07):
So, she's, yeah, she's not done okay if you know what I mean, but she's, yeah, she hasn't frittered
it away. No, no, no. But the sad thing is, no, I imagine the static caravans and the
grandkids' eyes are going to be seized and I don't know, then the money will make it way back to
Panda Rosa. Yeah, yeah, me. All the way back so they can buy some more adverts for the audience.

(17:29):
I wonder when they called it Panda Rosa because Fierde, the late Fierde's crime lord in Glasgow,
Arthur Thompson, he called his house, which was two council, a semi- two semi-attached council houses,
with the walls knocked down and pushed together to make one big house. He called it the Ponderosa.
You got the Panda Rosa two words, scrap metal firm may or may not be funded by the proceeds of crime,

(17:55):
probably not. And then you got the Ponderosa in Glasgow, which was definitely purchased and
renovated with the proceeds of crime. That's, that's well documented in lots of books, that is not my opinion.
Maybe there was a big fan of the Ponderosa steakhouse in Florida, maybe, probably. Anyway, that's

(18:16):
Puro Colleen, a custodial sentence is inevitable so she'll be off to court and fail, so she will,
and you're sterling, the ladies' prison. Shame, well, good luck to her. Anyway, that's
O Colleen, which is your first story this week. So my first story this week also comes from Aberdeen,
but it's not about an embezzling granny. It's about a TikTok star who is gone viral at creating

(18:42):
the official sandwich of Aberdeen. But viewers were quick to notice a glaring error in his video.
TikTok star Big Nibbles, and it's, has posted several clips creating sandwiches that represent towns
and cities up and down the UK. And his latest creation saw him attempt to make the Granite Cities

(19:03):
version, slicing some white bread, he quickly turns his attention to the filling, which he filled
with three deep fried Mars bars and gave fans a look at how to make the heart-stopping stack at home.
His videos have often seen him take a cheeky swipe at each city, and this time it was no different.
He said, "Famous for the invention of the deep fried Mars bar, a snack that dissolves your teeth

(19:25):
sums up the place beautifully. I'll just leave it to your imagination as to what horrors
lie there." "Alright, Big Nibbles, you fucking cunt." It was a quick and easy sandwich to make,
and one that looked somewhat intriguing and also horrific. But fans quickly noticed an error in the
video. Hundreds of TikTok users were quick to agree as one commenter said, "Battered Mars bars

(19:46):
with Stone Haven, not Aberdeen, with the reply receiving almost 600 likes." It even got a comment
from one who's Stone Haven local who said, "I live in Stone Haven, and I was so mad until I saw this
comment." Others were amazed by the sandwich with one in betting, "I thought it was beef or pork at
the start with gravy, and there is a picture of it, and it does genuinely look like a beef sandwich

(20:07):
with gravy in it." Like, with the three Mars bars in it. "Is it just me who thought it was a
poor pork sandwich?" wrote another. While a third asked, "What about Aberdeen Angus beef?"
A four said, "I'm not going to lie, I thought it was chickening gravy sandwich at first."
Another user said, "From Aberdeen, and you're making our sound bad."
Many others were baffled thinking it was meat in the sandwich, but despite the confusing look at

(20:31):
first, it was actually a homemade deep fried Mars bar that was oozing out of the sandwich.
Loved and hated it has become one of Scotland's most controversial dishes,
and it is said to have originated at the Haven Fishing Chip bar, now known as the Karen Fishing Chip bar.
The craze gripped the nation after 15-year-old John Davy dared his school pal,
Brie Mcdonald, to eat the bizarre concoction back in 1992. It caught them by surprise at how good it

(20:55):
was, and sparked a frenzy in Stonehaven, and soon made waves in the media when the daily record dubbed
it Scotland's craziest takeaway in 1995. The hysteria never faded, as 12 years on from its creation,
it was even featured on the American TV show, Jay Leno's Tonight Show, and continues to draw
visitors to the Aberdeen show. Deep Fried Mars bar sandwich is the Aberdeen

(21:20):
fucking sandwich that this big, big nipples call himself, is saying. Come on, surely it's Aberdeen
Angus beef that you would go for in Aberdeen sandwich. You're not going to go by deep fried Mars bar,
come on, that's scandalous. I think we've spoken about this on the show before,
but have you ever had a deep fried pasta? No, it's not been because I've not actively avoided it,

(21:44):
I think the opportunity is just never ever come up for me to have a deep fried Mars bar.
But the thing is, to your point, Aberdeen or Aberdeen an Aberdeen Shire. Famous for
obviously seafood, really right on the right on the North Sea there, and also, that you said earlier,
are famous for Aberdeen Angus beef? Well that would have been my sandwich,

(22:07):
it has to incorporate at least one of those things, maybe like a surf and turf sandwich is
like an Aberdeen sandwich, you know? That would have been my first thought, some nice seafood,
nice haddock or something, and exactly like an Aberdeen Angus beef or something, not a deep fried Mars bar,
that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that's the big nipples as
a, is not for Aberdeen as a, no he's not, he's a TikTok star, I don't know where he's from actually,

(22:32):
but he's doing UK City, so I don't have presumed he's UK based, I think. I think twice a bit,
about, I don't know, taking that tour, North of Dunby, well that sort of, I used to find that people,
the English people who would try to roast me a bit for being Scottish, because you know that,
there's always a couple of English people that just can't help themselves, got a real shibbut,

(22:56):
especially when you're an expat, and they would, they would mention deep fried Mars bars in the
admins, the roasting, you know what I mean, not just like, fucking, you can buy a deep fried Mars bar if you
under buy, well that was it, I mean I remember when I lived in Norwich, I mean it was, I mean that was
back obviously the early 2000s, and I guess that was still the term of abuse, and I remember, I

(23:19):
worked with, I still remember his name, Mike Harmer, he was a fucking cock, and he didn't like me for
some reason, and I remember we were at a night out and he had a few beers and he came up to me and
said, "Oh, you fucking jock, you know, you're from Aberdeen, the deep fried Mars bars." And I said
him, "Well no, that's a stereotype, I was like, you're from Norwich, do you fuck your sister?"

(23:41):
And he took great offense to that and asked me for a fight.
And it kind of, and I accepted, I was like, "Come on, outside now," and then he backed down,
and which, as you know Beegreg, it's not like me, but I just took such offense to that, and

(24:02):
I kind of, I think the fight I stood up to him because I was so angry, it went down in
Fort Chlor for the rest of the time I was in Norwich, about fucking me wanting to fight this guy,
and it to be fair, he, he, he sent me an apology email like on the Monday,
and Sidney was very sorry, and I didn't reply, he was that concoct.
I mean famously, famously back in your Norwich days you were, you were a lover, not a failure.

(24:27):
Right? I've always been a lover, not a fighter, I'm never a fighter.
No, I'm gonna fight her. I think I've only really thrown like one punch at someone and you saw
with me throw that punch, and even then it was a cheap shot to the back of the head at some guy
that had pushed me. Like, again that was just anger of annoying, like, and it was more to teach about

(24:48):
lesson as I check, don't push people, was my amazing retort to him, Nicky's Christmas message.
Don't push people. Pretty sure it was, it was, it was like Christmas day night or box
and day night. I can't quite remember. I think it was Christmas day night, yeah.
So, there you go, if you want an Aberdeen sandwich then it is white bread and a couple of deep

(25:16):
fried Mars bars, which I don't agree with. I mean, I think a nice sweet things in with bread.
I don't know, like for me personally, I just, I mean I could have something sweet if there was
something sweet, say it was like a sort of turkey sandwich and I was like cranberry on there.
I could, I could handle that, so I could savoury and sweet, but just like something so sweet,

(25:37):
like Mars bars even when they're not deep fried are super sweet to have that between two slices of
bread, it was just a bit much. Well, that's what the Dutch basically have for breakfast. They have
chocolate sprinkles on bread. I mean, that's, that is mental. I can't eat, I can't speak things
in the morning. Like I honestly can't, I've never been able to say, when I was growing up, we never
had the sweet cereals in the house. They are, if my mum could be asked with her porridge and I was

(26:00):
sometimes take a wee bit of sugar and porridge, but other than that, it was like rice crisps with
only milk or cornflakes or something like all those like rice noodles, wucky charms, things like that.
I just, yeah, I wouldn't know. Then Americans like have tons of sugary sweet stuff in the morning,
don't they? Yeah, yeah, they do. I did use like frosties and I was a kid, but I would be honest,

(26:23):
like I couldn't stomach that nowadays. Crunchy not cornflakes, I can do that, because, but then that,
but then that's brown sugar and honey, but I can handle that, but I can, I can handle that,
I can't tell you how much I've ever used these nowadays. But no, I do, I do like,
crunching up cornflakes and there is something ridiculously modish about them and I discovered that

(26:48):
at least 20 years before they built a whole market and campaign around it. It surprised me how long
it took them to come to that advertising campaign, they can, they're sort of 90s.
Can't really just have one more, can you? You need to have like another little half bowl, maybe
to milk, yeah. Yeah, but I could never understand like, lucky charms and stuff, having like marshmallow
for America, they'll be, get to America, America, yeah, that's what they have. I mean, I remember,

(27:12):
I, when we were in America on our honeymoon, I had cornflakes in the hotel one morning, just
cornflakes on their own with some cold milk and the cornflakes, because I always like to leave a
few dry bits of cereal on top. So like a few dry ones on top and then the ones underneath absorb
in the milk and even like the dry one on its own, tasty deluxe sweeter than the cornflakes,

(27:33):
we have a back in Europe, a lot sweeter. Must they possibly smarter by these people? My wife was like,
"Why are you getting so fucking upset? Just have something else for your breakfast?"
Supposedly in our honeymoon, you're riding on a big cornflakes. Anyway.
Oh, never mind. Well, that is the Aberdeen sandwich Greg. So what else have you seen this week in the

(27:55):
news? Well, it's not supposed to a news story. Oh, it does come from the Scotsman newspaper, but
I found ten laws which are still legal laws in Scotland, although you're unlikely to be
prosecuted for some of these, but I'll take it from this ten of them altogether. So the first one is
number one, in Scotland, it is illegal to refuse to allow a stranger to use your toilet

(28:22):
if they ask you to. Ah, I don't like the idea. I mean, that's something you wouldn't want to get.
You wouldn't want people to know too much, but I just, in a state reminds me of that chew in the
fasky, when the guy comes in, he's the toilet for it carrying it in, sits with the full glass window,
watching him eating an orange. That's it. It just reminds me, and I've told the story in the

(28:48):
podcast before, but of Earl Milkman's, so I help her with me living in the flat asking to use the
toilet all the time, and then I'm either fined, they'll end up doing it and fucking ruining their flat for the weekend.
So number two is it is illegal to sing on the train you must have written permission from the

(29:09):
train operator to sing legally on the train. Wow, okay. And do you know what, you know what, you
know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you don't know how to do in
the training in Scotland anymore? Have a fucking beer. It's not loud. I found out that when I was
Oh really, when I was back in March, we got the train from Aberdeen down to Edinburgh to change to
go to Newcastle, and we booked like first class because it wasn't that much more expensive, and I

(29:30):
thought well, well, why not, you know, I've got the money, you know, live my life. So we booked first
class for both legs, and in the Scot rail, I was looking forward to having a couple of come with me,
although it was only like 10 in the morning, but I thought my wife will be fine because we're in first
class. You know, it's first class, should be fine. She'll have a drink as well. And all that was offered

(29:50):
to us was tea and biscuits or coffee. Although it was very, it was comfortable, and then when we got on
the English train, take us to Newcastle, it was like a full course meal, lots of nice drinks and stuff.
The only thing was it was Edinburgh in Newcastle, which takes about, which feels about five minutes,
so we couldn't really enjoy it. But yeah, but is it illegal to have a to sing on the train? Number three,

(30:13):
it's illegal to handle a salmon whilst looking suspicious. So, okay, keep that in mind.
Well, it's time you're doing your shopping. Number four, it's illegal to doodle on a bank note.
Oh, well, that's, yeah, of course. Yeah. Number, we're up to number five, it is illegal to gamble in a

(30:34):
library in Scotland. Apparently in 1898, children were enjoying their time in a library a bit too much,
betting and stuff like that. So in order to protect the studious atmosphere, a law was imposed that
forbade betting and gambling in the library. So, as usual, one person ruins it for the rest of us.
Number six, if you're under the age of ten, it is illegal for you to see a naked mannequin.

(31:00):
Oh, okay, wow. This law was made in the Victorian age amidst, like, numerous decency laws,
and it makes it illegal for anybody under the age of ten to see a naked mannequin.
So, they can't watch Kim Katrell in Sex and the City then? No, no, no, no, it's certainly not, but then,

(31:21):
you might not let a subtenual watch let anyway. Yeah. Because it's fucking rubbish. Number seven,
yeah, it's illegal to fire a cannon within 300 yards of any homes. Seems like a sensible law,
isn't it? Yeah, but then this Edinburgh castle not fire a cannon like every day. It does, but there's

(31:42):
any deliverer in there on the old town? It must do. 400 yards of yards? Sure, that was quite high.
400 yards? If you had 100 yards high? Maybe not. Maybe. I mean, it brings a lot to the sense,
so it's probably one that we probably that go. Number eight, it is illegal to manage cattle
when you're on the cans. So, if you're drunk, not allowed. Not allowed. This law was put in place to

(32:09):
protect public order and it made it illegal to handle cattle and/or horses as well as managing
carriages and steam engines. The latter two seem sensible when you've had a few hands. Yeah, you
can't be steaming on a steam engine. Oh, certainly can. It seems like I saw a kid song,
a sort of nursery rhyme with an important message. Thomas the tank topping. Yes, exactly.

(32:34):
Number nine, actually, do you remember in Thomas the Tank Engine when one of the trains
was like, break into his arch under the railway bridge, or be in, I don't know,
be like, mugging people off, or to the work, misbehaving or something? And they break them. I want to say
they break them into punish them. Yeah, what I say, it was like a Gordon or Henry.

(32:56):
It was like Gordon. Gordon was a bit of a spiff when he was a spiff. Yeah, it wasn't per se.
I might have been Gordon. Yeah, I mean, a bit of a break in a minute. It seems a bit harsh.
So, it's terrifying punishment. I've been watching a lot of Oz recently,
it's not the most terrifying punishment I've seen.

(33:18):
Okay, number nine, a law that is definitely been broken as we record somewhere in Scotland,
is illegal to be drunk in a pub or any public place. Wow, really? What? That is illegal.
It is illegal. I mean, I do remember when we were getting our training for licensing languages,

(33:41):
languages, or like, alcohol licenses, sorry. I do remember the tell is that it's illegal to be
drunk in the pub, and think, and fucking hell, I've broken that law more times than can remember.
Prison to be full. I know, it's just being drunk in a pub seems a relatively logical place to be drunk.
However, according to a couple of laws in the 19th and 20th century, keepers of public houses

(34:03):
cannot allow any drunkiness on their property, and they cannot serve alcohol to those who are already drunk.
Not only that, one of the laws prohibited being drunk in any public place or pub, or pub,
which is still in place today, and certainly, I think you and I have both been turned away
in our younger days from bars for being in our cuts somewhat, whilst trying to place an order.

(34:26):
I've certainly been refused to entry to more night clubs than I can remember,
after being interrogated by the bouncers where we've been tonight, which pubs should go to,
how much you have to drink, how much we have to eat, and usually stumbling at the first question,
and not getting out and not getting met in, so that's definitely one that's still in force.
And then number 10, it's a legal, it's a legal, if it should you come across a beached whale,

(34:50):
or in one of Scotland's many beautiful beaches, or perhaps a sturgeon, you must offer it to the
reigning monarch, or you're breaking the law. So this law comes from the 1300s, Edward II,
decided to proclaim that all fish, sturgeons, whales, dolphins and purposes captured within
five kilometres, the British shore immediately belonged to the ruling royal. So the next time you come

(35:12):
across like, that's what a decomposed fucking sea trout, if you're walking on the beach, stick it in the
post, it's a bucket of palace, I'm just following the law. I think he's fucking Aquaman, or something,
obviously, really really liked fish. Edward II, I mean, I mean mind you to be fair, I can't
jarlay, I bet he could breathe through his ears, so that fucking thing, so maybe he is Aquaman,

(35:37):
you know, imagine, not breaking any laws, why have you posted this decomposing sea snake to
fucking palace, because it's the law, it's a law, belongs to him, I find it on the beach,
belongs to him, exactly, has to be offered to him. So yeah, so that's my second story this week,

(35:59):
beware, looking suspicious, if you're handling a salmon, or you know, looking at a man, a naked man,
if you're under the age of 10, wish a next story this week. Okay, my next story this week, Greg, is
from Glasgow Live, and it is a wonderful, I think, initiative from Glasgow, Caledonian University.
They have set up a tag-art archive, and they put out a plea asking people to come back with any

(36:28):
memories or any thoughts they had, and well, I'll let the article speak for itself. So Glasgow
Archive Chiefs calling for locals to share tales of their time working on Taggart have hailed an
amazing response in just 48 hours. With its iconic theme tune and gritty storylines, Taggart set
the standard for modern TV police drama and turned its much love cast into household names.

(36:52):
To coincide with the 40th anniversary of the Detective Show first airing, Glasgow Caledonian
University announced a launch of Taggart, the People's Archive. Retired detectives will host
drop-in sessions at the University's Archive Centre next month in a mock police station to take witness
statements resulting in a creation of a new archive. Members of the public who were involved in

(37:14):
location shoots worked as extras, played a corpse or provided props or expertise to the show
are being urged to come forward so that their stories can be captured. Aiming to recognise and
honour the role the general public played in the outstanding success of the show, Caledonian
Uni Bosses of Launch an Appeal on Tuesday morning. The Facebook post alone was shared over 270 times

(37:36):
and a mass well over 100 comments as locals reacted in their droves and on Thursday just 48 hours
per liter. The university shared an update that said the response had been amazing. Taggart star
Blythe Duff will volunteer over three days from September the 6th to the 8th. Blithe played the
formidable Jackie Reid in the show and is an honouring graduate of the cultural GCU. She said everyone

(38:01):
I meet has a Taggart story like oh you filmed at my aunt is house or you filmed in our street?
Or I was an extra for that day I've worked with so many people who watched us and filmed it and
just inspired them to become directors or writers or even join the police. It made me realise just
how important these stories are to the fabric of our series. In 2018 Blithe Dinated 95 episodes

(38:25):
worth of scripts to the university archives along with a treasure trove of Taggart material including
photographs, awards, memorabilia and press cuttings. A selection of these items will be doing on display
during drop-in sessions. The retired detectives helped by university archivists will collect all the
stories and some of the contributions will be added to display boards and maps in the incident room

(38:49):
set up on campus. Blithe who devised new archive praised the police force for being incredibly
supportive during the Taggart years. She added the police were always so supportive of the series
whenever we filmed and they were always ready to step up to the mark and they were going to have
some fun as we recreate an instant room where the public can give us some witness statements
and hopefully some memorabilia which we use as evidence to collaborate their story. Taggart's

(39:13):
pilot killer which we covered on episode 8 of the culture swalley was first screened on
STV on September 6th 1983. Locations featured in Detective Chief Inspector Jim Taggart's first
starting include a river bank of Kelvendale Road, a canal of Mary Hill Road, the Botanic Gardens,
Particross and Site Hill Cemetery. Karum Kalam Archivist at Glasgow Caldwell University stressed

(39:38):
no story was too small in this latest project. She said what better way is there to give Glasgow
and Scotland a voice in the Taggart story than through the people who loved and supported it
the most. So drop in sessions for Taggart the people's archive will take place at the GCU
archive centre in this St. Alex Ferragusen Library opening times will have passed by the time

(40:02):
of the week have released this podcast but anyway I just thought this is wonderful that the
university is celebrating probably one of the most iconic TV shows that Scotland has ever produced.
Absolutely, yeah I mean fucking I mean I don't know why we haven't done more Taggart's and
just when you were talking there I was thinking definitely need to get one of the iconic stories

(40:27):
done in the next few episodes of the pod. Do you think um yeah? Do you think by duff still
gets paid off Taggart I know they don't make it any more but I don't I've never seen her in anything
else unless she's in River City but I don't know if I wonder if if it's still maybe she's retired now
I don't know I don't know she is. I have no idea to be honest let's have a little look because we've

(40:49):
got this wonderful invention called the internet. Blithe duff is 60 and it doesn't look like she's
done much since Taggart to be honest. She does a fair bit of theatre so she's still jobbing over.
She was in um she was in Harley Potter and the cursed child like a few years ago.
Is that the play? That's the play rate that's not one of the films. Yeah yeah. I once I think I've

(41:11):
said in the podcast before I once uh they James McPherson jumped the queue um with his family at
Frankane Benning's at the key one Sunday afternoon when they came in looking he obviously wasn't hopeful
and I don't know if whether he had been his job to sort out booking a table and he'd fucked it
um but he came in he came in um had a bit of a weight in this going and he came in and asked if

(41:34):
they sort of like with low expectations who said don't suppose you've got a table for for four
just now do you? And I was like yeah get you get you problem this of course miss
okay yeah don't you worry Jardine I'll get you in the bottom um I'll get you in Jardine so obviously
I was hoping that this would be the beginning of a burdened friendship that would maybe get me
a wee gig as an extra on Taggart or something like that but uh that was one the only time that

(41:57):
I ever saw him um I'd even see him leave so I couldn't even like be there to be thanked for squeezing
them in you know I was way he probably didn't have the clout to get you I was way for an
innocent extra you know I was way for a fag when he left so he's got it
um it's the right hander Scottish shows you think deserve like an archive collection like that

(42:18):
I mean I suppose like the obvious one I did when I was when I was at home I was having a look at
I messed about with the STV player and I watched them not like whole episodes but some bits of like
very old take the high roads from like the wow very very early 80s and I suppose like I mean I don't
I mean I guess it's it's star has maybe faded somewhat um because it's not been on a telly for

(42:43):
well for 20 years but I mean I remember take the high road being on TV whenever there's an England
on ITV um oh really? Yeah so yeah they it was a big deal um well I mean I suppose like in
most days you had sort of take the higher from Scotland you had coronation sheet from this
supposedly Manchester and then you had Emmerdale from Yorkshire and EastEnders from London so like

(43:06):
you know they you had like soaps that were very much sort of vocaled driven
regional that's what I was thinking so yeah I mean I take the sort of happy I mean like England had
like sort of three major ones in Scotland had one it went to Scotland still only has one
and I don't think the BBC put River City on in any of their a bit in their BBC one uh local

(43:30):
regional stations in the UK so but yeah I mean I imagine I'm going to take the high road
what would be good would be an arc and I don't know if anything would be available really apart
from some scripts and stuff but they can archive of like Peter McDougall plays you know so maybe like
maybe some of the wardrobe from just a boys game and you know what I mean some of the sashes from

(43:53):
just another Saturday something like that you know uh
but they call these little sort of tart in a way school that he's wearing in the pub
eh sorry that'll den in way school that he's that he's wearing in the pub yeah that'd be pretty good
you know what I mean I always think Peter McDougall doesn't get anywhere near the sort of modern
attention that he deserves for those plays that he wrote you know we've we've done most of the

(44:17):
yeah and every one of them's a fucking absolute bang oh just incredible like yeah I don't
there's there's not a single one that we haven't covered that we haven't absolutely loved and you know
I want to go back and watch again they're they're so good so yeah I agree I don't think he gets
enough a credit as he deserves so you're right what about you do you if you get any thoughts
oh on on that TV show that could be the archive like this uh I mean I'd say rapsy nesb it's

(44:43):
probably up there for me um but I I think you could probably combine that into like a Scottish
comedy museum or archive because I think still game yeah would also be needed and then and that way
you can wire in things like city lights and make a video and you know even two doors down you know

(45:03):
it as a kind of that'd be a wonderful museum you know Scottish comedy throughout the the kind of
agents going from the early eighties to seven days to you know and that way you can incorporate
things like Scotch and Wry and yeah francey josey and Stanley Baxter and stuff yeah yeah yeah
well I think that would be a wonderful little museum to have yeah so maybe in the future

(45:23):
we could uh I could see it maybe we should create it yeah I could create it create create it and
curate it as well I was looking forward to that I could see I can see them doing something like that
the Kelvin Grove you know they get the but I was I think I was in the Kelvin Grove in the summer and
they had that sort of made-e-quant um special exhibition on down in the basement but I was seeing
them do some stuff they've done like Doctor Who and things as well they can use come by

(45:45):
do it quick cool okay well have you got anything else you've seen it in the news this week Greg?
not as much than news it's very quick but there is a Twitter account that I quite enjoy um
called the upshot um and it basically it just tells sort of funny stories about famous athletes
and some of the some of the misadventures of the more colorful characters over the years of the

(46:09):
sport in world and but there was one about when George Best when he was at Hibbs so this is um this
is a story of George Best's biggest bender that he went on when he was when he was playing at Hibbs
right so when the 35-year-old rock top at Hybernian in 1979 his new manager described it as
a disaster waiting to happen it was some proven right before a big cup game against air-united

(46:36):
change days the gaffer ordered Best to spend the night in his room at Edinburgh's famous Belmoro Hotel
it was all going to plan until George bumped into hard drinking French rugby player Jean-Pierre
Reves in the lobby best agreed to join them for a very quick half-paint but that was never going to
happen and things escalated when Debbie Harry leaves singer of Bondy joined them at the bar

(47:02):
Best had no recollection of what happened next other than Bedlam at 11am the next day the Hibbs coach
arrived to take him to the game he found Best passed out beside Debbie Harry unable to say anything
except I'm so pissed after the vat of coffee in several slaps George opened his eyes gestured

(47:23):
toward a blondie singer what would you rather do spend the afternoon with her or player united
suffice to say that George didn't make the game what a legend fair play it yeah it's yeah yeah
I agree if it was a choice between prime Debbie Harry or playing against air united then

(47:46):
see you later you know yeah yeah yeah so yeah you know that may be laugh but yeah
the up I mean we don't get anything out of this but if you enjoy funny stories about a
colorful sporting characters over the years I would steer you towards the upshot on twitter it's often
a good laugh okay anything else this week Greg that's it right well before we go on to what we're

(48:08):
going to be talking about on the podcast day let's have a little word from our sponsors and our
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to get your 15% off that's doricskateboards.com okay Greg so it was your choice on the swally
this week so why tell us what we're going to be looking at on the podcast today so i chose the
2018 movie the vanishing stars Gerard Butler who i don't think we've had on the podcast before i

(50:03):
don't think Peter Mullan who we have have we oh yeah the young person's idea um we've had uh
sorry um Peter Mullan who we've had on many times and Connor Swindells making his swally debut
um it films loosely based on the night the 1900 disappearance of the flannon iles lighthouse crew

(50:27):
from uh eelyn more island uh butler mullan and swindells play three lighthouse keepers whose shift
take a dark turn uh it was directed by Christopher Nyholm and written by Kellyn Jones and Joe
Bone so me i didn't i literally stumbled across this when i was having a look at uh some possible

(50:49):
swally material um a few weeks ago i hadn't heard of this movie completely passed me by i mean it's
five years old so i'd never seen it i don't think you've seen it which are first thoughts
yeah completely passed me by as well i had no idea about it um until maybe about a year ago when i
was looking at stuff for the swally and it came um to my attention i think i probably was looking at

(51:12):
Peter Mullan's IMDB or something and it it came up that this film existed but i i had no idea about it
yeah so first time watching it i was funnily enough i listened to a podcast maybe about two months ago
and it was a guy discussing the disappearance of these three lighthouse guys on the on this light

(51:33):
house in Scotland and i i kind of put two together and they mentioned oh yeah i think it was made into a film
in 2018 with with Peter Mullan i was like oh wow that's that film so it'd been on my radar since then
i've thought right i need to cover this at some point on the swally i'd never seen it until
watching it this week for the first time and i have to say i i really enjoyed it's a it's a really

(51:58):
it's very slow paced i think in the beginning and and it's it's but there's just so much atmosphere
about it and just so much kind of a creepiness and it's it's it's it's so beautifully shot
and it's so beautifully acted and the tension at some points of this film is just absolutely

(52:18):
incredible and i think three great performances from the three lead actors as well i mean gera butler
has he ever been better than he is in this he's you know he's he's fantastic in this film Mullan is
Mullan as he always is but i thought it was a really interesting story and i mean obviously it's
it's inspired by a true story and we'll we'll come on to that later because although it is based

(52:42):
on true so it's not really the only real thing that happened is that these three lighthouse keepers
disappeared no one has any idea what happened to them everything else in the films completely made up
all the subplots with the gold and these other guys coming onto the island completely made up but
i thought it was a really gripping film and you know it's an hour and 46 minutes which

(53:04):
16 minutes too long for my you know you know yeah with like a 90 minute film Greg with like a
tight 90 minute film but it had me gripped and it did keep me engaged now i really enjoyed it
but what about yourself what did you enjoy it to when i was i was a trailer for it
with my daughter like a couple of weeks ago and she said oh she said that i might watch that with you

(53:26):
and i was like really and she was like yeah yeah my daughter is like 15 so you know she's
getting older and her tasting movies is becoming a bit more a bit more sophisticated so we watched
it together just last night and yeah that we both thoroughly enjoyed it you know like it was
interesting watching it with her because there's a few sort of i guess a few tropes especially in the

(53:47):
sort of second and third act that you know they were seen in films that have had sort of similar plots
and stuff but it was interesting with her seeing her reaction because she's obviously not seen anywhere
near as many movies as you and i have seen so she's like what are you doing what's he doing that for
well for good or sick you know i'm being good and avoiding stuff but yeah we both really enjoyed it
i watched some Mark Kermode reviewed it for his for the Kermode and Simon Mayo movie review show

(54:16):
that they do on do we see and he's you know you think of this when you mentioned Gerard Butler there
because his career it sort of against all odds really he's become this big Hollywood it's not quite
an a-list actor but i don't think he's quite a a-list actor either it's also a sits in this kind of
weird hinterland between the two but you know most of the movies he does as Mark Kermode describes

(54:38):
him shouting on a submarine shouting on a helicopter you know shouting on one of the white house
that kind of thing he said so it was good to see him playing quiet and even you know it well
obviously we're gonna spoil the film so you know i hope you know that by now if you're listening
it's all makes sense to watch before you listen but um even towards the in the sort of

(55:01):
towards the end of second and the third act when his character James has sort of gone a bit crazy
he still is quiet you know i mean he's not like he's not like what will the Gerard Butler that will
have come to see what happened the kind of movies he's really made these money from over the last
sort of 10 years or so they one of the one of my favourite films of his that i really enjoyed him in

(55:23):
that and it's an ensemble is a rock and roller the guy rich in movie they's in with just about to
say that is probably my favourite but they're performed so after this film i think the rock and roller
really reminds people that he does have quite a lot of range as an actor but for whatever reason
they seem to sort of tend towards an imagines because they pay him a lot of money you know and

(55:48):
i think he's about he's running about the same age as you and i maybe slightly older you know so he's
you know he's got to he's got to earn his money i'm sure he's got a family and everything else you know
so it was good to see him in this and it really reminded me because i'd be having a watch
a general but the film in fucking years i mean to be honest if i see what if if the Olympus has fallen
or something is on the tail of the album fucking turnover you know and what you know to avoid it

(56:11):
the last they big Hollywood film of his that i enjoyed was law abiding citizen
well my Jamie Foxx i quite like that one um that was quite good uh but was quite clever um and
of course the 300s i mean it's fucking ridiculous but it's it's good fun and it's short this
quick 90 minutes you know it's uh if there's nothing else on it's worth watching again but um

(56:33):
otherwise you know i wouldn't i wouldn't be like booking my tickets in advance for
general butler's next big film so it was really good to see him in this like really showing that
he's actually a fucking good actor yeah i thought he really he was brilliant in this i again
exactly as you've said he's not shouty he's quiet at the time um you really believe him and

(56:56):
and you know initially he's kind of the the muscle of the the three and i and i really like his
relationship with Donald and beginning and you know he he's pretty witty as well and i can't work out
what the relationship is like they obviously knew each other beforehand but they're kind of he's
almost like an older brother kind of father figure yeah kind of two mentor tape and you know he's

(57:18):
very playful when they're they're cleaning the the lighthouse and Donald's breathing on it and he
kind of you know smacks him and um you know a particularly good thing you know what does this do then
what's a fall corn yeah when to be use it when it's foggy it's you know but butler's deadpan delivery
and those kind of parts is green and he he does play the muscle well you know when things start

(57:43):
going a little bit awry on the island he provides kind of the backup he's the kind of be a
bracus of the team yeah the sort of like the muscle but then he also as as latterly it goes on he plays
the unhinged mental guy very well and you really believe that he's lost it and spoiler will come back

(58:04):
to you later on but when he comes kind of back in towards the end of the film he's like it's okay
I'm sorry yeah I've I thought about it I genuinely believed like okay he's okay yeah and I did
some it's gonna be okay I yeah I really did up to the point where Thomas goes off to the pantry
and he saw it looks sideways uh Donald now like right Donald you're fucked

(58:26):
but that shows you know the kind of the the range that butler does have and that he is capable of
and he is a good actor I mean I think what butler would um genuinely benefit from is like I'm
really good TV show I you know a prime kind of HBO or showtime like a decent role in a TV show

(58:50):
I think he would really benefit from from something like that to really make a mark yeah I mean the
first one that I ever saw him in and I went on a double date um to see this with a mutual friend
the artist occasionally known as um techno jock him and I took a couple a took a couple of birds

(59:11):
uh to see Dracula 2000 at the cinema um in Aberdeen and I remember quite enjoying it that was quite good
I think it joined the mother was in it uh Christopher former was in it butler plays the eponymous Dracula
it sort of spins this sort of a sort of a newish theory that uh Dracula is actually a Judas Iscariot

(59:32):
you know that's in his punishment for betraying Jesus is being a immortal vampire
certainly that much for punishment to me but um but it wasn't I remember a quite in jock they
it's a being quite surprised and quite enjoying the film but then if you go through his sort of film
PSI love you with Heather what's her name? Hilary Swank completely different from the swords and

(59:58):
sandals nonsense of um the 300 many does a rock and mola when he plays one two which is a fucking
completely underrated guy richy movie in my opinion I don't know why it's not mentioned in the same
conversation as movies like walk stalk and snatch when you're talking about guy richy I don't
you understand it's fucking brilliant it's it's too confusing I think a lot of people find it to be

(01:00:19):
a little bit too confusing fucking idiot pay close to the attention and then he goes off he's sort of
then he sort of goes from he does a lot of bad things in it does gamer which is fucking dreadful he's
he sort of keeps the lights on with doing voices and how it trains your dragon franchise over the
years then it's stuff like machine gun preacher Olympus is falling London is falling down of thieves

(01:00:41):
and in the middle of all the angel has fallen greenlands but in the middle of all these like big
bombastic hollywoods sort of popcorn and chewing gum can have movies it does less really thoughtful
psychological drama back in his native country with fucking Peter Mullan probably if not definitely
or most accomplished actor from Scotland who's working at the moment you know I mean there's the

(01:01:06):
Andy and to your point he's fucking brilliant in it so I take a think well surely you mean he must
buy now but there'd be a multi millionaire you could probably retire surely but buy now if you want
to yeah so why not instead of just picking these ridiculous fucking movies that are sort that's
sort of coming goal why not do more interesting stuff like this you know anything is as well

(01:01:29):
reverse it arguably it's not even his film arguably he's a supporting actor Mullin really is the lead
like Mullan is Thomas is the kind of lead in the film really yeah I can no butters names above him
on the poster because I guess he's he's more recognizable and you know bring he'll sell more tickets
than Peter Mullin will but he really he's been a supporting part and I'm sure he and he seems

(01:01:54):
like a smart guy Gerard Butler I'm sure he realized that when he when he when he agreed to do
I wouldn't miss I couldn't find any interviews with him about this film but I'm sure he probably
walked to work with Peter Mullan and that's one of his they did it yeah you can't just tell from
the performance he delivers in this film that he's enjoying himself and he's happy to be on screen
a Mullan because when he is on screen and and that's the thing is it is that a case of Gerald Butler is

(01:02:16):
delivers a great performance or is it that he is bouncing off of Mullan and Mullan and that's
making it was out of him deliverer maybe yeah it could be it could well be because a lot of the
times they're on screen together but like I say I have generally spoiler alert like who wins the movie
I'm kind of torn between Mullan and Butler because and it's maybe just like of sympathy for Butler because

(01:02:40):
it's he's fucking great yes for like he's so good and it's such a shame that he is and I kind of
slightly disagree with you in terms of a less be list I think he's firmly a be list yeah if you look
at the shite he's churning out at the moment he is a be list kind of be movie actor at the moment
making all these kind of subpar action films that are just shite but then he's got this you know

(01:03:05):
it's just kind of bread and butter and that's what he knows to do he's like a shitty Scottish
bearded Jason Statham in a way do you know what I mean like where Statham is still Statham is still
a list and you know he's still in the fast and the fewest films you still make it to Statham will
you know Statham will make a be list film but it's kind of they've almost a similar kind of

(01:03:27):
trajectory but I would say Butler is slightly I think Butler I think Butler is a far better actor
than Statham like I think as it comes to acting I think he's a far better actor than Stratham I
don't think Statham is putting a better performance than when he was in walkstock oh yeah so I
snatch I think is probably Statham's best performance as an actor everything else be honest you know

(01:03:49):
what's the one this sort of franchise he was in the courier not the courier transportor you know I
mean and then you know he plays he's in he's show in Hobbs and Shaw and stuff and he's in the meag and
he's done a few films with Jet Lee and everything essentially just playing a fucking hard bastard that
can do like that can do like fucking amazing martial arts whereas it's a jail butler is a good actor

(01:04:14):
which he's demonstrated in this and I think as well I couldn't imagine David Jason Stratham
agreeing to do like a sort of rich-y-esque sort of London gangster movie or or even like some sort of
old-day Victorian thing where he's got to wear the Victorian wardrobe and be like an interesting
character in a sort of psychological Victorian mystery or something like that you know I mean I

(01:04:39):
can't see him doing that somehow but I could see you can't see Statham doing a guy richy gangster
movie not now you know yeah I couldn't see him was you know it was you know in the most recent
guy richy movie which one otherwise not the most recent one is he's yeah but he's in one that's
set in America but it doesn't feel like a guy richy movies like he does that bank haste and stuff

(01:05:02):
kind of what it's called the something the something of man or something it wasn't very good I watched
it I watched it a couple of years ago but I couldn't see him you like when guy richy made the
show that Holmes film I couldn't see Stratham playing like Watson to robber down in junior's homes
or something like that you know I mean the way that you'd bother because he's sort he's just sort of

(01:05:22):
any dog a bit wrong I fucking be like Jason Stratham that's I do like him and I like watching these
films even though a lot of them are fucking nonsense but I like it I like watching them back or the
absolute shit out of somebody in a film but I just think I couldn't see him making the choice so that
Gerard Butler made to step you in this film at that at this point in these career you know okay so I

(01:05:43):
think we've spoken about general but they're quite a fair bit so it terms of the actual film so it's
about these three lighthouse keepers that are looking after this lighthouse on this island and there's
a big storm and they find a dead body the next day effectively with this chest a bit but it turns
out it's not a dead body it's the guy ends up attacking one of them dormal and they find this chest

(01:06:06):
and fuck me it's got gold in it and but then these other guys come looking for the gold and this big
ramy insoos on the island and yeah so in terms of story I thought it was like it took a while to
get going which I actually really liked because it helps you get to know the characters because otherwise
you're just like okay it's Gerard Butler it's Peter Mullan who's this guy some young kid because I

(01:06:30):
wasn't aware of Connor Swindells before but in terms of the I really liked the way they they had
this low build up because you got to know okay Mullan is this grumpy-ish kind of guy but he's been a
lighthouse keeper for 25 years he's got some sort of dark secret in terms of something to do with his
wife and kids he gets on with people but he's a grumpy bastard because even the way he's speaking to

(01:06:52):
Kenny played by Gary Lewis you kind of get the feeling they're old friends but he's still like
grumpy bastards when they're on the boat Kenny's trying to have a bit of banter with him and even then
he's like just how much farther come on yeah come on you get everything you need Paul
here six weeks I just drive a bloody boat man and you have obviously James played by

(01:07:19):
Gerard Butler who's a family man obviously just doing this for the money he seems quite like hearted
and then young Donald who played by Connor Swindells who I guess this is his first trip because he's
sick on the boat on the way over so I guess it's the first time he's doing it and they're having to
kind of show him the ropes and you kind of get the impression when they get there he first thing he

(01:07:40):
does feet on the table lights a fire and whereas you know James is sweeping the floor Thomas is tending
stuff marking the whiskey bottle with a little pencil to see how much anyone's scoofing although it's
him that's scoofing most of it and yeah you get the impression it's his first time coming here
yeah for sure I'd seen Connor Swindles and there was a show and we really see that year about the

(01:08:05):
formation of the SES called Roe Kero's and he plays real life character David Sterling who is
credited with forming the SES in the second world war in North Africa but in that film in that
TV show he seems like a really tall sort of broad shouldered kind of guy but I don't know if it's just

(01:08:31):
because obviously he's four or five years younger in this he's in a lot he's in short a lot with
Gerald Butler who's a big fella but you know he seems so slight and he seems really young as well
I mean I did throw up my mouth a little bit when I saw that he was born in 1996 which was the year I left
school but he's not and he's not Scottish, crucially he's English but he does a pretty good

(01:08:57):
Scottish accent but also holds his own really you know what I won't comment about there but we'll
say already that he is very good in this and then you've got this sort of performance that we've
come to expect from Peter Mullin this sort of brooding haunted unpredictable sort of older statesman
but was kind of performance you know the way is because if the thing about Mullin is obviously we

(01:09:21):
find out that his wife has had given birth to twins the twins and survived she seems to have
passed the way whether it's a result of the twins or whether it's a result of depression or whether
she should make it kill herself is sort of spented as well when the Norwegian guy asks
Thomas if he could ask if he's waived out and Tom and obviously they could say he would have been

(01:09:43):
back then a sort of shameful thing to admit to suicide in your family but you know that you
it doesn't have to be explained like you know from the minute we meet Thomas when they're setting off
and they're getting together to get in the boat you already know that there's something there
with him you know what I mean yeah I was watching you know the actor David Ogg who plays Trevor

(01:10:05):
in Grand Theft Auto 5th yes so he was being interviewed on a podcast and he was talking about how Peter
Mullan is his favourite actor and he he describes the opening scene in Tyranosaur which is a hard scene
to watch especially for you and I because we're big dog fans but you know we see Mullin's character in

(01:10:27):
the pub and he's fucking slamming beers and I think he gets told that he's got to leave because he's
too pissed so he comes out in a bad mood the dog's whining so he boots the dog can he all kicks a dog
too hard and the dog passes away and so he he kind of realizes what he's done he picks a dog up and
he the shot is just him sort of walking up the street and what David Ogg says he says somehow

(01:10:50):
you feel sorry for Peter Mullan for his character you know you don't find you're sorry that the
the poor redogs passed the way but you still have sympathy for him because the performance that he
gives you know he's immediately in the first few minutes of Tyranosaur much like this film you know
that he is a troubled guy you know we find out later on in Tyranosaur the characters little similar

(01:11:12):
in that he lost his wife as well I think if you remember right much like Thomas in the vanishing
but you feel sorry for it even though he's just done this horrible thing to this poor dog you know
you're like well he's so fucked up you know like there's something he's a he's a he's a troubled guy
and there's not many actors who in the midst of a performance could kick a dog to death and still

(01:11:33):
have your sympathy yeah you know what I mean especially in the very in the first moments of the film
he's like he's had they said a word in character and he's done this horrendous thing and he's
a bit like this and this is he doesn't say a great deal in those first scenes when they're leaving
but we see a lot of his point of view you know what I mean he looks over to James saying goodbye to
his kids he looks over to Donald he has says a word or two to a couple of guys speaks to Kenny the

(01:11:58):
the captain of the boat that's going to take them out and but he doesn't have to do a lot as a
thing but Mullan you know I mean is he doesn't need to do very much to or say much it just sort of
really embodies the characters that he's playing yeah yeah as you say as soon as you see him on
on screen for the first time you kind of know like okay this is a hardened guy who's who's been through

(01:12:19):
a lot and you know the first initial interactions that he has you know when you get there just a
little facial expressions he gives to Donald when Donald sitting with his feet up on table smoking
you know he's like in the marking of the bottle and things and then he's you know he's obviously
the one in charge he's been there but it says 25 years he's been in the a lighthouse keeper

(01:12:43):
and again the scene where they find the the dead but the body at the bottom of the ravine
and they're saying they're going to sit at Donald down he's like well why me and do he's as well
because one you're the lightest and two James is more important than you and it's so matter of fact
in terms of the delivery but the I think the the scene where really holds his own is when

(01:13:10):
the two guys and I it's never established if they're like Norwegian nice landic when the other two
guys come on to the the island looking for their friend or the missing rowing boat with the with
effectively the gold the tension in that scene yeah when they're speaking a moment and you're kind of
thinking right did he do the right thing in terms of basically admitting that they'd seen it

(01:13:32):
and we still lying but yeah we found the body we found the box we've sent it back to the main line
or should you have just said not never saw anything sorry not a thing it was stormy like that yeah
nothing's come in yeah yeah you know like did he did he fuck up there effectively thanks so
but that that tension in that scene is just incredible and it goes you know to the the

(01:13:57):
markability of mullin but also the other actor that's that's in the scene and I don't know
if it's soren malle yeah I think that's right yeah it's lucky yeah the two of them just just
the tension and intensity in that scene is just remarkable yeah I mean I suppose and again it's
a normal guy that you say who's been doing working in the same place for 25 years they the same

(01:14:22):
routine for 25 years and he is trying to be evasive he's probably never had to tell such an important
lie before you know what it means so he's got to think in his feet he's got to try and convince
these guys he really wants to be believable but he also wants those guys to move on as quickly as
possible not have the other guy the other two light house keepers come down enjoying the conversation

(01:14:46):
and again you know mullin you know you're right the character has essentially fucked it in his
in his conversation with the two the two Icelandic Scandinavian guys but you you buy it completely
because if you had been you know like in in less delicate hands this could have been a you know
we're suspected to believe that this normal guy can suddenly turn into this master of deception in

(01:15:11):
order to keep this gold that they've come across you know but with with with mother and they he
understands that well this guy is he's never found a fucking chest of gold before he's an honest
working man that's been keeping a light house for all these years you know how how is it going to
how is it going to act in a situation like this when he's putting the spot by people who if they've

(01:15:32):
got this box of gold it's never it's never really explained where the gold has come from how these
guys had it in the first place but it's sort of suggested that they're less than save any characters
and then of course the way they behave later on when they attack the light house keepers that can
I confirm it but in that scene that you're describing with mullin you know they we don't really know

(01:15:54):
enough a lot about these guys we assume that they're probably criminal to some extent but you
know you're sort of a you're making that assumption with Thomas because of because of how fucking
amazing mullin is you know what I mean yeah your weapon you're sort of you're seeing it through his
eyes and it's completely believable and it's it's Thomas that comes up with the the plan really

(01:16:17):
because Donald and Kenny are they open the chest don't they oh Kenny sorry James Donald
and James I mean well Thomas is open the chest beforehand and see what's in it and then comes through
and they've opened the chest and they're talking about where do I go first palace or New York they're
spent all the money and Thomas effectively you know it's got side calm down comes back in and then

(01:16:40):
he lays out this whole plan of we will do this six weeks on six weeks off for a year yeah and then
you know and he's very and it's almost like it's almost like good fellas when they do the heist
and you know Robert you know Jimmy is when the guy comes in with the wife for the for a cold
bring it back bring it back fucking bring it back it's you know it's exactly the ways describing in terms

(01:17:06):
if you can't go spending that money because people all know so you have to just sit on it for a year
and then we disappear yeah and he has got this plan kind of laid down of what they're going to do
so very intelligent guy in terms of thinking ahead and knowing what's gonna happen because they're
gonna know something's up if they just disappear all of a sudden and he's got this sorted until

(01:17:30):
these guys short yeah and then he kind of fox it by to say same that they they had it
we do as Alice I say we get rid of the body we wait to done dig it to the end of the
gente and we toss it out and see and Kenny gets back he's still sure the golden hiding
their cases and when we get back nothing nothing we go home we carry on six weeks later we come back

(01:17:59):
we finish for sure six weeks after that same again nothing for at least a year I'll find the
behind there are somebody we can trust and you'll tend to go let me cash
I agree
now we don't talk about this and you tell me no one and I mean absolutely no one

(01:18:26):
and you do exactly as I say one more spoken hinted or suggested about this and we are dead
it is planned seems to be to tell as few lies as possible all the way through you know what
yeah so yeah yeah they were here but so the lie is that the body and the

(01:18:46):
but and the chest have been taken back to the mainland and then later on after all the carnage
and you know when James accidentally kills the wee boy and stuff and again he's like you know
we tell the truth they were here but they came to ask for navigational charts we gave them the
charts the way again you know what I mean it's just like how can we get through this without

(01:19:07):
spinning to outlandish a tail you know we just we don't want to tell too many lies or we're going to
get caught out whatever and again it feels quite real you know they you know if you if you if you came
across something like that and you just came across like a box for the money and you're you
want it to keep it you know how would you but obviously you you know that you're out of those

(01:19:27):
keep it how would you how would you sort of try and style it you know you don't want people to know
unfortunately maybe if Colleen the grand from Grand Theft Auto had watched this movie she might not
have been caught quite as soon you know she's sat in her one and a half million for a few years
but but again you know it's like well what would you do if you in in that situation and the thing is

(01:19:50):
like everything that they do and everything that Thomas Spill not everything they do but everything
that Thomas says they should do it feels kind of like the right thing to do you know like when he was
talking about we just you just described and he's talking about you know we'll lie well for a year
I can feel myself going yeah it's that smart it's fucking smart wait I guess no let the dust let the

(01:20:11):
dust settle on this you know and then blah blah blah and then you know he wasn't like you he thought
you think she was a guy in Edinburgh they can turn the golden the cash and all this kind of thing and
you know I guess yep my my faith would rather than truly be with Thomas at that stage
you know and had I be one of the other lighthouse keepers they they made a big thing there was a
a scene about the the mercury the the quicksile yeah leaking out of the instruments and they

(01:20:37):
they managed to put that back in and then there was another scene like 10 minutes later when you saw
James sitting upstairs with a little pool of mercury beside him and I thought okay is this is
that going to drive them all mental and there's going to be some sort of yeah Lord of the flies
it type issue going on here but they never really come back to that because it like Donald and James

(01:20:58):
do go a bit mental I mean James more so but it's understandable for the reasons they do you because
Donald kills the first guy with the rock yeah which is going to emotionally scar you and Thomas
and James are very sympathetic towards him and say you know there's nothing else you could have done
like an effect of it was him or yeah it was one of them gonna die and I think I would be in the

(01:21:20):
same boat I'd kind of be a little bit emotionally scarred but you know you would come in terms with
well it's not a him or me he was drowning me I had to do it but then when he pops the other guys
eyes out with the with the rope you know you're like okay Donald's fucked up now because he's just killed
two people like it's that's gonna really fuck you up but the thing that fucks James up you

(01:21:41):
he seems fine with having killed that other guy but when he kills the boy a young boy yeah that
that sends him into emotional turmoil now do you think there was anything to do with the mercury in
that did that add to it or is you know because otherwise what is the point of having that that kind
of mercury subplot part in the film I think we're expected to acknowledge that that is part of it

(01:22:05):
you know I mean like in in that Mark Kermode interview sorry we've used well he does he talks a lot
about the about the mercury because it is set up in that scene when they've got the protective
clothing on and stuff and James says you know there's been many a many a lighthouse keeper that's
been driven mad by the quicks over so then we'll see him later on and then so I sort of took it to

(01:22:26):
be well he you know he's killed this this young boy who reminds them of his own son so he's that
maybe the exposure to the mercury has sort of exacerbated how he reacted to it but then all three of them
you know but in the sort of like in the second half of the second act and the third act arguably

(01:22:46):
Thomas isn't behaving the way that we would have expected him to behave when we first meet him at
the beginning of the film you know he's gone from this veteran lighthouse keeper to somebody who's
plotting to keep this gold and deal with these these criminals effectively that want to get their
gold back and stuff you know what I mean and then even when the wee boys kill these very much

(01:23:07):
I think of his dark you can see what you're doing you know he's sort of playing it down where you know
the fact that matter is this young kid has died you know through misadventure by mistake whatever
else and you know it's like well would that is that the way that the Thomas that we met in the first
in the beginning of the film would have behaved not so sure so is it you know is has this a bit of

(01:23:30):
exposure to the mercury you know anything is the way that um Donald um attacks the guy who has
stabbed Thomas in the leg you know that you're in a kitchen the first thing he picks up is a bit of
rope and ties it around his head and I know I know they talk about that you know they're on in the film
and then Thomas is talking about how pirate's just to get information out of people but you know

(01:23:50):
even a kitchen you should the first thing you'd have picked up to be in a bloody kitchen lie for
something and plunge them with it you wouldn't have like gone to the trouble of tying it around his
head whilst um Thomas pulls the guy's arms and stuff being in mind that Thomas has been stabbed
maybe in the artery and he's leg you know what I mean he just cuts out a pulls an eye
foot I remember saying it may see less now you don't know if we pull that knife out you know

(01:24:13):
yeah I thought that too exactly when he pulled it out I was like is that the best idea
so yeah I mean that that is an exciting moment in the film when the three when our three heroes
effectively overcome these bastards and stuff but I don't think I'm not sure when when Donald
tied the rope on his head I'm not sure that that would be my go to in the kitchen um to sort of

(01:24:39):
offend these guys off I provided a nice call back though to the scene of the crabs in terms of the
well this is it Thomas it explained it all very well so um and I thought it gave a good thing
so I mean this whole film takes place over what five days do we think something
that I lived because basically the first night is the the storm and then it's you know the next day

(01:25:03):
they find a body probably the day after the guys come on that night is the big fight and then over
the next two days because I guess um James is hiding in the chapel for a day or so yeah before he comes
out so yeah like maybe five days in total this all takes place have you ever seen a chapel that's
designed for one person at a time no I haven't but on a small island I guess maybe it um it makes

(01:25:30):
sense to have that yeah maybe um yeah I think so you know because and then the other thing is the
thing that sort of gives them away and I had to sort of figure it out with Macy but it's the broken
radio became to the became the conclusion yeah that's what gives them away because they say that
they radio that in Thomas tells them their radio calls in and that's how the that's how the baddies if

(01:25:54):
you like be guys that they're lying because they try to radio they radio them and they can't hear them
something or the radio was broken but they can hear them and that's how they work out that
Thomas has lied to them that the the the box must still be in the island somewhere and stuff um but
I didn't think it I don't know maybe well I guess I mean I I worked it out so I suppose it was

(01:26:14):
explained quite well but you know but I was probably I thought that was I thought that was quite clear yeah
I don't know I wasn't I wasn't drunk and I watched this crucially um I I don't know had they
could be here at that point so I don't know I just I felt I felt in the moment that I had to really
think about about it you know so there's a lot of supernatural theories as to what actually happened

(01:26:36):
on the island and people think maybe something but the the main theory is that and they've kind of
mixed up the characters I think here in terms of Donald and James so it was the character Donald
well not the character the actual don't he was apparently a big drinker and a bit of a head case
and they I think him and James's character got kind of a bit amalgamated in this film so they

(01:27:01):
think that Donald might have got pissed and then killed the other two and then ended up killing
himself or the other theory is that just this giant wave just came up and swept them all off to see
because there was a big storm and a lot of the island was ravaged and battered so I think the other
theory is that they just literally all got swept off to see well I seem to say the most realistic

(01:27:23):
theory because apparently Donald to your point was you know he wasn't they can you sort of greenhorn
it was quite it was a veteran right housekeeper yeah um and what this apparently when they when
the relief came and they found that there was one set of oil skins so one of the theories which
sounds quite plausible is that Donald in his capacity as a veteran uh light housekeeper was in the lighthouse

(01:27:47):
tending the light while the other two were dealing with something on the actual island itself he saw
the waves coming and saw that and recognised them as being like a big big waves and damaging waves
and has ran out to warn the other guys so we're preoccupied in what they were doing so he hadn't put
his oil skins on because of the emergency and the waves have have taken them both off which sounds

(01:28:09):
reasonable it's for you know it's for it's as reasonable as any theory I mean there's other ones
about sea serpents and all sorts and I think you know people just love a good mystery you know what I mean
they they love it it's like they sort of marry Celeste you know it's sort of similar kind of thing
you know they they they they found that the kitchen was having cleaned up and there was this

(01:28:30):
he's dry on the rack but the beds weren't made and all black and I thought well you know would
three guys would they make their beds every day back and you know they they've got a lot of work to do
they're just they're probably knackered at the end of the day they're sleeping in shifts they just
fall into bed are they going to go to the trouble they're making their beds every day when they've
got so many jobs to do and and their guys you know right back in those days probably not quite as

(01:28:53):
domesticated as as like twenty four century metro sectors are this is seen where they have to
they have a little sing song where yeah Thomas plays the violin and James gives a song so we get to
see Jenna Butler so is second appearance on the culture swallow and his second song yeah

(01:29:13):
but I would still say we love Count and Beeth is my favorite as I shot out the two sons.
A shopping center underneath I mean honestly that will never not be funny I can't imagine a time
when that won't make me laugh and right doing the accapable Count and Beeth song in the video should
do fucking hell ideas. I love the life of a specific community. I've got to match your heart. I want to buy this shop and mall. You can park underneath. That's the wonder of Count and Beeth. Whoa! You can park underneath. That's the wonder of Count and Beeth.

(01:29:57):
I thought that I mean overall this film like it's I love a film where it's something like claustrophobic and there's you know trapped and tension.
And that's what I think really yeah you know that's kind of thing that appeals to me that the kind of tension
strip back you don't need to show a huge amount of set pieces or special effects I mean I thought the

(01:30:19):
special effects in terms of the waves coming up and and stuff were great and it and it made it such more
an engaging film that it was just so strip back so this claustrophobic element of just kind of the trapped you know you
you don't know what's gonna happen there's nothing they can do and when they know like the guys are on the
island like fuck one of them's here and you know they've run off and you're like shit what's gonna happen here

(01:30:43):
it's it's wonderful because there's nowhere to run to yeah I mean it's it's almost a play you know
like without all the amazing establishing shots of you the more and the lighthouse itself and like to
your point this they talk angry see sort of banging about around it you could imagine this on the
stage as a play almost you know essentially a three-hander you know three guys sort of it's sort of

(01:31:09):
claustrophobic you know they're you know they're sharing a sort of dormantry they're cooking for each
other they're trying to find an entertainment you know for the off-times you know you know I look
like a sing song a dram and whatever else you know before all this intrigue and everything begins
you know I think I think the first act is maybe the most powerful of the three because yeah you

(01:31:34):
know I mean I and I get it like the sort of make they're trying to make a compelling psychological sort
of drama out of you know sort of possible however improbable can a theory of what happened to
these real-life characters but to your point the the first sort of 30 minutes when we see them leaving
James saying goodbye to his family you know Donald all these got us this little bag because that's

(01:31:57):
all he's got because we find out that he's later on that he's a bastard you know when everything
that that meant back at the turn of the 20th century you know he's sort of shunned by the community
and everything you know for no fault of his own they kind of help how he was born but he's got a sort
of tried and live with it and then you know then Thomas this kind of brooding veteran like he

(01:32:20):
has keeper that we realize later on is dealing with all this trauma that I have had lost his wife
and he's and he's twins yeah really really powerful and you can imagine that being played on the stage
you know yeah maybe not so much the later parts of the film but certainly the early parts
I wasn't shocked but as we spoke about earlier when you see James giving that kind of look

(01:32:44):
sideways look as Thomas is going into the pantry when he gives that look to Duncan
locks Thomas in the pantry and then once Thomas breaks out he's killed Duncan you know you were shocked
because you thought they were yeah kind of a good buddies but obviously things had taken a bit of a
turn and then Thomas and James effectively escaped escaped without a goal but then James can

(01:33:07):
kind of have a look take what he's done and did you think you know he puts himself over the side of the
boat and tries to drown himself when he comes back up I genuinely thought he was going to drag Thomas
overboard with it yeah be to when yeah yeah yeah yeah definitely thought yeah and I think that's the way
it's implied but no Thomas just holds him under the water kills him and you know effectively

(01:33:31):
Thomas gets to fuck off with all the gold and none of their great I mean the only person he's really
killed was James who wanted to kill himself any yeah Thomas didn't kill anyone else Duncan killed two
of the guys James killed the other one yeah do you know Thomas is kind of assisted suicide is
probably the best he's gonna suffer for well yeah but then again you know they were mulling you know

(01:33:52):
wait to your point is it's quite an ambiguous ending but you know does he does he sail off and
he's like disappear with the golds and make the best of it but you know because and again like
with a different actor you might you might you could be forgiven for thinking that but with mulling
although the film ends with him sort of standing on the deck of the boat you know the guilt of

(01:34:13):
everything that he has gone through is there on he's it sort of sits on his shoulders when we see him
in that shot on the deck of the boat you know he's he's he's he's he's cut you know this young boy has lost
his life these criminals however does every day or not have died James who he knows the best he's
helped die because James can't live with it and you know he's he's not like a young guy he's not supposed

(01:34:38):
to be a young guy in this he's supposed to be like a sort of veteran older fella with a 25 year career
behind them and just like a normal guy that is that happens to be a life-hills keeper and it's
you know when you see him stood there you know I'm sort of thinking well I don't think it's going
in well for Thomas where you know whether it throws himself over the side after the credits of
road or whether later on he drinks himself to death or something but then again with Mullin all those

(01:35:03):
eventualities are possibilities you know tell me just like the way that you stood in the deck of the boat
in his body of language in the ways looking off camera and stuff like that you just think well who
knows what's going to happen to this guy but you do get the feeling that's not going in well for him you know
I could see him maybe getting somewhere selling the gold sending half the money to James's family

(01:35:26):
and then drinking himself to death yeah maybe yeah for sure because he's a haunted individual and a lot
going on but yeah I think that would I think he's a he's a good honest person as well so I think he
would definitely give them their share of the money if you know what I mean well he's traumatized
before any of this happened on the island yeah he's traumatized by the loss of his wife and the loss of

(01:35:51):
his twins you know when he's he's dealing with that to the point where even when people are trying to
be sympathetic towards them and show support that you can't hear it you know like when Kenny Gary Lewis
is a character tries to give him some platitudes and he's like just just drive the fucking boat Kenny you know
he's just he's he can't accept sympathy so he's not he's not dealing with he's not he's clearly not

(01:36:18):
being able to deal with the loss that is experienced and then he's immediate he's almost immediately thrown
into this scenario with the other two guys and the golds and the Scandinavian guys and murder and
fucking all this stuff um you know and again I don't I can't think of any actors that could make you
believe all those that they were going through all those things you know what I mean when we see that

(01:36:42):
after the first night effectively after the storm and he's he's had a drinker and Donald gets up
and looks at the window and Tom is literally howling to the moon and screaming and James comes in
and hugs him and comes and done and so exactly as you say you know he's a really troubled individual
and which makes it all the more shocking you know the the way Tim and James kind of I don't know

(01:37:05):
turn but yeah the way things work out yeah for sure so I've devised the game oh Jesus
um so I'm going to give you two famous Scottish people um and I'm going to ask you to imagine them
as lighthouse keepers and I want you to tell me if you think the couple that the the couples will be

(01:37:26):
lighthouse family or shite house family okay like in terms of how they would get on together how
they would how they would operate a lighthouse how they would get on in isolation together for six
weeks at a okay so the my first uh my my first pairing is uh Aberdeen legendary footballer

(01:37:50):
Rackentour and amazing moustache cultivator willy Miller and uh
Pete Waterman's nemesis uh Michelle McManus okay so willy Miller I've met a couple of times
he's he's a nice guy he he's always been nice when I've met him um he likes a vodka and crambury

(01:38:13):
he's obviously an Aberdeen legend um Michelle McManus obviously had a number one hit um
like she's a larger lady but she seems quite fun um mother Miller is quite fun as well
a baby up for it I'm gonna go lighthouse family lighthouse okay you think uh you don't think Michelle
would get on with these nerves a bit after a while yeah she'll get in his tits but then he'll be

(01:38:38):
a professional guy he's just healing with all walks of life yeah he's a broadcaster he's used to
she's a broadcaster as well they're used to it I'm going lighthouse family okay all right next one
then so the next one is actually a trio so I'm sort of subverting my own rules so we've got um
late 70s and early 80s not just Scottish but the UK entertainment legends the crankys juneir in

(01:39:00):
two and uh partic thistle and Scotland uh legendary goalkeeper Alan Ruff I think that's going to
shake out well the crankys are well known for their swinging and and for like entertainment Alan
Ruff I don't think he's probably seen some action for a while so I think he would be up for a

(01:39:23):
little bit of juneir in our school uniform I'm going lighthouse family thanks
with Iain sitting in the corner iPhone out smoking a cigarette filming while Alan and juneir get
down to it right he was filming okay that's getting uploaded to only fans later on the crankys only
fans can you imagine can you imagine if that was what they had on there oh my god 15 quid a month to

(01:39:45):
watch the crankys fucking on a bowl of car keys you know something I probably would probably pay
that out of interest like not out of yeah not for any sexual gratification just out of
out of this entertainment and by just just to find out if it's true or not really
you know there's this actually exist um all right number three then um so sometimes no one is

(01:40:12):
big time but the most the rest of all to know is Sean Connory um and uh journey woman news reader
Jackie bird off shite house oh no big time it's going to slap it about oh big time it'd be walking
about there on this pants um it'd be slapping her about if dinner was not on the table he'd be
pinging golf balls off the top of the lighthouse Jackie would be saying you know there's no need for

(01:40:38):
that you know you're gonna help me with this she she'd be she'd be nipping his heat the
american who would get to them as a shite house family just wait to happen okay um okay right number
four then uh swally legends and uh waiter of fisherman jumpers james cosmol and um scottish asian

(01:40:58):
that opoket rocket marley sue oh no that's uh that's a that's a light house family waiting to happen in
fact i'd love to see a sitcom with that that's that's wonderful um cosmol i cannot believe getting
up set with anyone ever um he's just such a cuddly lovely guy in the small patient as well
in this case yeah no no that is a light house family waiting to happen that's just like a wonderful

(01:41:21):
beautiful kind of uh coming together no definitely light house family i can see i can see marley keen
to learn the ropes get involved just you know we'll show us do some of the more labor intensive work
james classic gentleman no no no no you just you just sit there marley and i'll you know he's he's

(01:41:42):
out there in the storm with oil skins on like tie notes uh knots and cranes he's polishing the
fucking lamp up up there and yeah in marley's just like feels a bit bad you know i feel like i should
be doing more yeah she wants she wants to help but he won't let her because he's too much of a
gentleman good guy yeah okay that's one number five um john barerman pretend sort of scottish

(01:42:03):
potential uh you know sort of card mark a little bit anek kevin gothry so shall we go on to
this swalley awards Greg uh what have we got on uh anything else on uh the vanishing no i don't
think so i mean i would say that it's you know um we've obviously ruined that um frame

(01:42:23):
buddy who's not seen it but watch the vanishing um if you haven't already uh great movie uh great
performances from uh swindells butler and mullin okay so our swalley awards then so the first one
that we would usually do would be the bobby the barman award for the best pub but there's no pub

(01:42:43):
in this one there's zero pub no it's just the drinks cap drinks which doesn't qualify but there's
no beers in there so yeah i don't think i could be away for six weeks and only have drums i need a
few cans you know what i mean for like my time off okay and i need a few cans um okay like
number two then the james calls more award for being in everything scotish so who'd you go for here

(01:43:07):
we often debate this whenever they come on because it's one of the two isn't it it's Peter Mullin
or Gary Lewis and i would i'm gonna go with Mullan because with his appearance in this this
puts Mullan tied at the top of the swalley tally with Alex no wow and i thought i thought noreans
lead was unassailable but with this they are tied at the top with 13 appearances each i mean i

(01:43:32):
i went for Gary Lewis because i think in a lot of ways Lewis has become the kind of new cosmol
you know like Cosmo yeah through the through the 80s and 90s nearly two thousands whenever there was
anything scotish and it didn't have to be a scotish production you know that famously he turns up in
highlander turns up in brave heart he's even in the outlaw king um the christ pain were we at the

(01:43:54):
brisk movie on Netflix which we may or may not do in a swalley in the in a few months time i think
Lewis seems in it and i and i made a note because i know that Peter Mullan and Gary Lewis are
pals you know they're good mates and i thought i'd be myself you know his Mullan you know his Mullan
done a good time for his pal here got movie gig yeah he has 100% he has 100% he has he's got him just

(01:44:16):
a little role two days work three days work max but he's got on this little role 100% he's done
of a solid and you can tell their mates you know just the the chemistry but yeah the 100% he's done
of a solid okay then you know what give it to Gary let's see and i'm happy that's why i want to be
pals with Peter Mullan you know who doesn't want to be pals with Peter Mullin i think he's great

(01:44:41):
to be pals with yeah i bet he is a bit it's a good guy but he's a really not a bit i bet when you talk
i bet when you're having a pain in your talking to him he's fully engaged you know what i mean
he's interesting he's asking about yourself who he wants to know how you're getting on not seeing
you for ages he wants to know you're doing yeah um yeah right number three then the Jake McQuillin
your teaser award few options here there's quite a lot of options um i went with Donald using the

(01:45:06):
rope on the guy like a crab was my kind of because it just seemed like the end of the fight if that
ended at your teaser you can't yeah um but yeah there's a lot of options my first choice was Donald
smashing the guy with a rock but there's a lot so i mean what did you go well i went with Donald
smashing the guy with a rock just because the the actor who plays uh Donald's a sailant um in that first

(01:45:32):
and that first scene when they come across the the broken lifeboat and what they assumed to be a dead
body when when Donald manages to get his hand in the rock although i did notice that Donald's hand
went past a lot of rocks which they've done just as well there's the one that he's at one that he's
had a lady done eventually um when when he tans and with it the guy looks either he obviously clearly

(01:45:52):
wasn't expecting it stunned yeah and and and falls down dead so i i went with that one and but we could have
had um when James comes and you know the the the the big fairer thinks that he's he's stunned James
then after these but James comes back with a bit of woods and tans him and then oh yeah that was
that was wonderful yeah that was that was in my uh yeah in my top three as well that was a belter

(01:46:14):
definitely um so i mean i don't think you'd want to see it to be honest but
christially no you and me Gregor awards for nudity in this because there's no nudity
is there is there is there is there there's no thank goodness no there's not there's no
to see that no um so we'll we'll skip quickly on then to the uh Francis beg be a award for
gratuitous sueding so for this one i went with uh donald uh tell him to almost to fuck off your

(01:46:40):
customers just a bit unexpected when the language had been fairly uh sort of a mosaic up until that
point you know but sorry prosie yeah i would agree with you yeah no that was a good one i went with
when there are about to winch donald down to get the dead body and i think uh tomah system
you're good and donald says well i guess i'm gonna have to fucking have to be it and

(01:47:05):
oh good well i guess he's gonna be fucking have to be much of a language
i'll make sure you hold that tight i got you don't worry i like that maybe laugh
yeah yeah yeah he does have some good lines uh donald for sure yeah so next one then archetypal
scottish moment i'll get the whiskey in the dundee kick i had written down dundee kick as well

(01:47:29):
i'd also retten beaten norway it's pretty gonna be enough oh that's a good one that is a good one
i like that don't get too cocky we're playing them again why not next month or the month after
yeah i know i know don't get too cocky but yeah that's a good one right now yeah like we only need two
points at a few games that's all we need touch wood we do we do we need that i think if

(01:47:53):
if norway in georgia draw yeah i think at this stage but that's all we need to see
big yeah yeah painting results and then the last one anybody saw i touched on that we better
their own but the uh the shun calling the award who won the movie for you yeah i did say this
earlier that was kind of tie between um jerah butler and peter mullen but i think i was i was

(01:48:15):
probably swayed by the fact that it's just a really good jerah butler performance i mean peter mullen
wins this film yeah without a doubt oh and he's incredible i mean peter mullen wins i think i'd have in
fact i'm gonna go back through the the archives and see if there's been a film we've covered that
peter mullan's been in that he hasn't won so thanks well yeah there would have been actually yeah um

(01:48:37):
yeah i'm pretty sure and train spotting all yeah for example would have been yeah yeah i think
we're i think one of the leads i don't think yeah yeah yeah there's nothing compares to peter mullen
his um his face experience i read an online review that basically said you know when he
scrunches his face and you see his wrinkles it's just like a road map of his light and it's really good

(01:49:00):
you just feel every part of everybody's been and he can just give a look and there's a good few scenes
that you know what i think one you mentioned earlier he just gives a look and you just evokes
so much energy and passion and confaze so much you know exactly what he's thinking and my god
yeah does does that ever been anyone better like scotch actor peter mullen would that have done

(01:49:26):
it seems to it seems you know it seems particularly adept at playing characters that are in
pain you know what i mean like Thomas is in pain Joe in my name is Joe is in pain although he's
doing everything he can to distract his sort of distract himself from it you busy with the football
busy with this busy with that um but you know you know it's just he's great it's a bit equally

(01:49:47):
when you see him being interviews and he's just being peter mullen it just seems like the fucking
warmest nicest guy oh you know what i mean but yeah pets go lucky yeah happy to chat to everyone
making jokes you know as when we covered him when um uh young Adam you know he's joking about i'm
the only one doesn't have sex next time exactly you know it just such a lovely guy so warm heart it

(01:50:11):
just seems so chipper and so nice and yeah a guy i'd love to go up by with peter if you ever listen to
yeah i'd love to go for a bite up too yeah honestly i was just absolutely astonishing astonishing act
so that is the vanishing uh wrapped up um now it occurred to me so my last three choices have all had

(01:50:31):
an optical theme right but and it wasn't intentional right but obviously the vanishing they set on a
lighthouse before that i chose young Adam uh set on a barge on the on the Clyde Canal and before
that i chose for those in peril uh with uh which is also set in a seaside town and about a a sink and

(01:50:52):
ship oh for the next time i pick up i'll try and move away from the sea but it's your turn next time
nicky so what we're going to be watching for the next episode of the swallie well Greg you mentioned
something earlier on the podcast today and your wish is my command so we are going to go back to
episode eight of the culture swallie and revisit something we've looked at before we're going to go

(01:51:15):
back to 1992 and we're going back to Mary Hill and we're going to catch up with detective chief
inspector Jim tagger as we look at the cv7 investigation probably one of the most mentioned things
on the culture swallie yes the vipers brilliant and it is available on stv player and also

(01:51:38):
you can out tv if you want to watch it to do homework for that so on the next step this is swallie we're
going to look at tagger nest of vipers brilliant cool now they're forward to that fantastic all right
well uh thank you very much for listening everyone if you want to get in touch with this you can
email us on cultureswally@gmail.com get in touch with any news stories that you've seen or any

(01:52:02):
thing you'd like us to cover on the podcast or just get in touch and say hello uh you can follow us on
insta @cultureswallypod or you can follow us on x @swallypod and Greg we have a wonderful new website as well
a wonderful not not new we've had it for a year but definitely not new year but i've been neglected

(01:52:22):
the website you can but be sure to do some work on if you'll go say that all the time but you can
find us at cultureswally.com we can find links to all the episodes and some articles and
features about Scottish pop culture and you can get in touch with us through the website as well
of course right well wonderful well thank you very much Greg much appreciated um are you off to

(01:52:44):
going i don't know i just tie some nautical knots yeah you have to go and get your knot boards so
i'm off to have a little bit well with sunday so i'm off to cook i love the sunday roast for my family
not that i appreciate it because like two quarters or teenagers and the other one is my wife um but
i'm looking forward to it anyway well very well okay well enjoy and uh yeah until i'll see you next time

(01:53:10):
until next time i day stands from your hand
go and get a fiddle told me to say this is a song
yeah okay whiskey

(01:53:33):
don't be sure about those measures how do you adjust that i'm a dundee cake
oh you know about dundee cake

(01:54:00):
(upbeat music)

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Episode 83 - The Vanishing (2018)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 83 - The Vanishing (2018)