Say "thistle" for me.

Please and thank you.

+ Stephanie's TERRIBLE date!
+ BEAT SHAZAM!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Call now eight seven seven nine threeseven one four seven. It's John Jay
and Rich John J Rich, Stephanie, Hi, thanks for holding him our
people tell us you have a funnydate story. I do, and I'm
kind of ashamed of it, butI do. Let's hear it. So
my girlfriend wanted me to hook upwith this guy and I never met him

(00:23):
before, and so he called meand he's like, let's go to the
grocery store. And I'm thinking,we're gonna get this big dinner. I'm
gonna go to his house. We'regonna make dinner. While I get there
and he's already there waiting for mewith a cart of alcohol, just like
filled all the way and like he'sliterally waiting for me to get in the

(00:45):
store. And so I get thereand I said, well, are we
buying food? He says yeah,yeah. Later later he's like, we're
gonna buy this right now. Sowe go to line. We're going to
line. As we're in the line, he tells me you need to buy
this, said, I'm buying this. He says, yeah, I'm only
twenty. Oh my god, howold are you at the time. I

(01:07):
just turned twenty one two weeks beforethat. Oh okay, So that's okay.
That's when he's not that bad ifyou were thirty. Yeah, yeah,
okay, go on, go on. So we're going to the line
and I'm sitting there and he takesme out the shoulder and he's like,
you have to pay for this.I have to pay for this. He's
like, yeah, we're gonna goto the bank in a little bit and

(01:27):
I'll reimburs you. So I wishI said I walked away, but I
did. I paid for it.It was three hundred and sixty dollars.
Oh my gosh, that's a lotof alcohol. Yeah. And so we
get we drive to his house andwe drived his test. He's like,
wait here, and all the alcohol'sin my trunk and like these five guys
come out and I'm like, Ijust drove away. I just drove away.

(01:49):
And and my friend called me andshe's like, are you going back?
And I'm like no, And thenI don't know. I was the
only you did right then? Yougot your stuff out of possible. Yeah,
were trying to set you up.She didn't listen to her gut in
the store, but she listened toher gut. Would it matter like he

(02:10):
was just trying to ge alcohol forhim his buddy. Yeah. I mean
you may have probably robbed her,taken all five guys, taking all the
alcohol, and just left you there. I was stuck with a three hundred
and sixty dollars bill. Yeah.Man, I hope you learn your lessons.
I did. Thanks Stefanie, thanksfor calling it. Thank you.
Right by Chaos was a radio show. You're listening to it. It's John

(02:32):
Jay and Rich John j Rich Jack. What's up? You're on the air.
So I was listening to the girlI was went on a date with
the guy with no teeth. I'vehad no since I since my forties.
I'm gonna process to get implants.But do I sound like I have no
key? Yes? Let me see. Hold on, Let's walk you through

(02:52):
a couple of words. Are thereany words that you can experience that you're
insecure about because you have no teeth? I'm not sure you are about having
no chief at all? Okay,but can you say thistle? Say what
thistle? Thistle? Thistle? Yeah, thiscile? Can you say where are
they? Where are they? No? That was good, Statiustius, Ah,

(03:21):
if I was dating you instead.My dad's name is thatius, and
you said fattius, I'd be like, well that sounds a little different,
no, fattius. Mm hmmm,so you have no how many? Like
zero teeth in the front. Ihave zero teeth? Period? What's what's
chewing like for you? I loveprime rib? I eat primaryb all the

(03:44):
time. How do you do that? Though? What wouldn't you need?
No becums? Just harden up.I eat steak once in a while,
not too often, because I'm nota big fan of steak, but I
am a big fan of prime rib. And I always eat primaryrib every chance
I get, even on Thursday.On Thursday, Oh, I heard that

(04:04):
one. That was good? Thatwas good. Yeah, I couldn't tell.
I don't think I could really tellreally that you're missing your front teeth,
all your teeth. You have noteeth at all. I have no
teeth at all. And what happenedthat you lost your teeth? Growing up
with bad dental hygiene? Just neverbrushed? Hear that nose? Hear that?
No I hope you're flossing now youhear that? Noah? Noah?

(04:25):
You got to advice for Noah.He's twenty two years old and he doesn't
brush his teeth. Brush your teeth. Of the wise, you're going to
end up like me. I'm inthe process of getting implants, and that's
costume unfortune. No, my uppermy bones on the upper part have deteriorated
so much that I had to havebone implants. Oh my goodness, you
see that. Noah, you wanta bone implant, Not that kindy implant.

(04:47):
Noah, settle down. Oh mygod. All right, Joe Jack,
you sound like a great guy.Well, thank you very much.
Brush your teeth. Noah, Allright, Jack, God bless thanks for
calling in. You welcome, KissFM, John Jay and Rich. Brush
your key. The commercials are finallyover. Let's get back to John Jay

(05:13):
and Ridge one O four to sevenKiss FM, John Jay and Rich.
Hey, we need a contestant.We're gonna play beach Isam. The prize
is Pitbull tickets. Call us rightnow at eight seven seven nine three seven
one oh four seven for pitbull tickets. I'm just you know, we're gonna
start playing without you until you callin Gray, You'll get us a contested.
Just patch it through so we'll makethe contested be the last person in
this game. So call right now. Pitbull tickets eight seven seven nine four

(05:36):
seven. What are you playing?Nick? We're playing beach Zam today,
you guys, and I like totheme my games. Get this. These
are the top songs the Billboard hotone hundred. That's the theme today,
the top ten songs in order,starting with number one. So if you're

(05:56):
familiar with music that we might play, you're gonna do very well in this
game. Should we start? Let'sgo? All right? John Jay,
you're first. That's the guy wejust had in here. Why can't I
remember his name? Cole Swindell,Jelly Rowl? What's his name? Tse
Swims? None of those are correct? Anybody in their room? Ben Boone?

(06:21):
Rich sorry, Rich Hosier. Hosieris correct? That guy go that
question. The name of the songis too sweet? Okay, Rick,
I mean, okay, let's getit up. I don't know what that

(06:46):
is metro boom in future that songis called like that. No points for
anybody in the game thus far.Those are the two top songs in the
country currently. By the way,Sarah's gonna play with us now, yay,
welcome, let's your turn yet?No, so don't you dare answer?

(07:09):
Uh? Yeah. Peyton's complaints inthe games are all the time,
are like, oh Nikki, Ma, you mess o, you mess with
me or whatever? These are.These are the top ten. I'm going
in order, so you cannot complainthat this song is going to be a
song that I don't know. Solet's go and god every for you said,

(07:29):
what this is, Benson Boone,beautiful things. Those points for Peyton
of my games because you didn't giveme the hook. I just listen.
I'm going in order. Kyle,no do it on my home, but
I won't that beautiful right past,it's lose control. The ladies on the

(07:57):
board each with two points here andSarah, do you understand how it works?
Sorry, I know we're gonna sayit. We're gonna assume she knows.
Uh, Sarah, it's your turn, I know, lay up now
now. Two points for Sarah,two points for Kyle, two points for

(08:24):
Peyton. Heading into round two,John Jay, k I forget named the
song about Carlo Churchill downs Baby,we're looking so close, so we are
looking for eleven on me and itsounds he said John Jay in the beginning

(08:48):
that there's a song that song,and then Beyonce does one where she says,
John Jay, it's really cool.It is cool because I impacted them.
We're gonna play listening to the show. We're gonna play the songs of
John Jay next week. Uh.Rick, I'm working because I'm the s
Oh it looks so cute, sopretty carpenter. Uh huh, that's espresso,

(09:15):
Espresso, espresso. I know everybodyelse is closed for John jo it's
not your one point for rich Uh. Peyton could take a commanding lead right
here. Jesus, that's Ariana Grande. We can't be friends. Uh huh.

(09:37):
Do you know what's this? Parentheses? Ever? Wait for your Love?
That wasn't close but four points regardlessof Peyton right now? And uh,
these are the top ten songs inBillboard Hot one hundred. Kyle,
this surprises me. So I'm sorry, so dreamy night of song birdy right

(10:03):
it sounds like mor okay, Iguess yes, Noah cons correct dutches the
Noa con free ground know the nameof the song is stick Season. He
came out with Olivia Rodrigo right onstage on record store day, like Noah

(10:24):
Kan does a record of Olivia Rodricosong and she does his song. She
does this song. It's very good, sounds cool, Rich. Thanks for
that. It needs to be confusedwith Nick season am I right? Cord?
Okay, all right, Sarah,you could win the game here.
You just need to get the titleor the artist of this song. Old,

(10:56):
oh god, I want to helpsure, Okay, Peyton, go
on help me. It's Sizza Saturn. Yeah, just through the game.
She just gave it to Sarah.You're gonna go see you're well good.
Hold on the line will set youup. You don't when it gets the
last call and all the dudes kindof start creeping up on you. We

(11:20):
have the solution. Give them theJohn Jay and Rich drunk dial Line six
two eight, nineteen thirty three.It's John Jay and Rich. Remember yesterday
we were talking about lunch boxes thatwere what louisv or something like that,
right, somebody so Blenciaga. Yeah, I just gotta damn someone going,
yeah, that's crazy. But didyou know Tiffany sells clothes pins for six

(11:43):
hundred and fifty dollars each. I'veseen that they sent me, like I
just posted it. I think thatis paper clips too, but like six
hundred fifty dollars, Like, doyou have any real close pins you can
buy? You can probably buy allthe inventory in the world. The rest
of the clothes one are three thingsthat need The Justice Department is going to
pay about one hundred and forty milliondollars to resolve one hundred and thirty nine

(12:05):
claims over how they handled the sexualabuse cases involving Team USA Gymnastics and doctor
Larry Nasser. So victims say theFEDS were slow to respond to The court
agreed, and while one attorney said, look, these settlements aren't going to
undo the harm nass are inflicted,but the hope is that one day they're
gonna give the victims of his crimessome of the critical support they need to

(12:26):
continue healing. So that'll end upbeing about ten million per case. Tesla
says they're going to start making moreaffordable models soon. Smaller models apparently will
include the Model Too Small car willbe expected to be around twenty five thousand
dollars. Tessa also says they're countingon a vehicle built to be a fully

(12:46):
autonomous Robotaxi to help their company grow. Elon Musk actually said we're gonna unveil
the Robotaxi August eighth. That's comeout. Hopefully it goes better than the
unveiling of the cyber truck years ago. We all remember that windows are unbreakable
never mind, and now it's stillhaving problem. Even though when I see
what I think it's fascinating. They'reso interesting. Yesterday I was I was

(13:07):
leaving some business and there was atesla in the parking lot and there was
a it was getting worked on.It was having like had a flat tire
or something. They had it alljacked up, and the tow truck was
there and I'm like, did youget frabb electric carlodsire? Hilarious guys.

(13:28):
May the Force be with you andalso in your cereal bowl. In celebration
of National Star Wars Day coming upin May, fourth True MoU and Kemp's
Dairy have partnered with Lucasfilm to releaseofficial limited edition blue Milk. This limited
edition flavor will be available at allkinds of stores Kroger, Target, Walmart.
Will supplies last through July of thisyear. Pretty cool, huh starters

(13:54):
with you bluberries or just just milk, vanilla flavored milk. So it's low
fats, vanilla f wave and it'sStar Wars milk. And right now you
can get that at Disneyland. Butfor those of us as you can't just
travel to Disneyland just to get theblue milk, and I get it at
your grocery store. And that's threethings you need to know. So a
mom in California named Emily King isgoing viral after she accidentally sent out an
evite for her kid's first birthday partyto hundreds of contacts in her phone.

(14:18):
And apparently that's not even the worstof it. That would include how they
named in their phone. I guessright. So listen to her top tells
I just made an evite for mydaughter's first birthday party, and on evite
it says impore contacts, and Ithought it made important to select through.
No. It imported all four hundredand eighty seven of my contacts and invited
them to this birthday party. Cowonly did it invite my boss, all

(14:39):
of my coworkers, all of thepeople that have ever been stored in my
phone, but it sent invitation basedoff of how they're stored in my phone.
And I want you to just takea second and think about everyone's stored
on your phone and how they're storedon your phone. Derek Kirol he received
an invitation. Jess hit her carin parking lot. I have to quit

(15:01):
people. Yeah, I think notvery nice things though, Like I got
a couple crazy Bee contacts, likecrazy bees Mom's contact. Mine's more like
ADDIE's girl Scout mom. If youscroll through, it'll just say right like
I'm just yeah. It's kind offun to actually go through your old contacts

(15:24):
and stuff too, because it's like, you know how your contacts sometimes pop
up on your phone or on yourcar screen. That happened And I had
this guy named Aaron from like highschool, and he had like hard eyes
next to him, and it popsup every single time I open up my
car. And my boyfriend does notlike first Yeah, it's like the first
one. And he's like, canwe go through and delete half of these
contacts because like I don't even rememberwho Aaron is. I should change it.

(15:46):
Yeah, it's pretty wild, likegoing through my contacts and there's all
these people that I don't know whothey are anymore, Like, who are
you again? Bill the battery guy? You know he's battery guy. Well,
I'm glad I have all normal namesfor you guys. Yeah, yeah,

(16:08):
so embarrassing. Oh, Kyle,how far are you on American Justice
American Rust because it's called the seasontwo called American Rust Broken Justice. So
that's why I keep getting a message. Oh, okay, I think I'm
on episode four. Oh do youlike it? Yeah? I still like
it, So you keep asking meif I like it, But I said
I liked it a long time ago. I like the show. I just

(16:29):
really liked the show. And there'sa guy on the show, a character
on the show that I really reallywell, actually I like a lot of
them, but there's a character showthat I really really like. But he's
not really a good character. He'sBilly's dad. Oh yeah, Virgil.
Virgil he gets he's so likable you'llsee later on because I'm on the kid.
He's like the most charming loser yahatway to describe him. Yeah,

(16:49):
and he like screws people over that, like in conversation with a smile.
Right, So he is kind oflikable, but he does not do good
things. Yeah. Is there anythingopining? Do you watch anything now?
No? Just that Jail Unlocked showthat I've been super into. Yeah,
how are you? And that Iam about finished? Actually yeah, I'm
about wrapped up and it's just reallyfun and charming to watch, and it's

(17:11):
a good like Time Killer. Ifinished Fallout on Amazon Prime, which is
crazy, and I'm in season twoof Resident Alien, which gets really slow.
Does it pick up towards the end? Well, I put that on
pause because I was looking for someother I'm still watching that show, but
I'm oh, yeah, it's likeseason two for me. I think you
finished it, right, hion Ifinished it? Did it? Get It's
good? Yeah? Season two fora while, they get in a lot

(17:33):
of character development stuff, so there'snot a lot of just you know,
it's more sentimental that it is drippingwith sarcasm, and I like the dripping
with sarcasm part of Resident Alien.There's a show and someone just messages me
bout I've just seen the first twoepisodes and I just I posted it and
tagged you Kyle. It's called Underthe Bridge just on Hulu. I think
it is. I know it's whois such a bomber? But I don't

(17:55):
even know why now because I paidfor the no commercials, I just don't
like it. I know I don'thave the non commercial version, so to
me, that's why it's a majorbummer. But right now. After I
finish American Rust. That's it.I don't think if there's any other shows
out right now. Aren't you curiousto see if season four of Killing You
is the season? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, but I gotta remember that

(18:15):
show. I just remember it wasreally really good. I like that show
so much. Is that the showI bought you? There's a show it's
like, you got to watch this. You don't have Apple here because it
was no it was Ted subscription.Yeah, watch it. That was like
for Christmas or something. It was. It was for his birthday, my

(18:44):
birthday. I wanted to watch thatshow. We're adjusting live across the world
right now. This is the JohnJay and Rich radio program.