DONKEY: Florida Woman Busted With Drugs Found In Bag Labeled 'Bag of Drugs'

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I never heard them, Donkey other day, say it again?
You are true? Yes, Donkey. Today for Friday, August second,
goes to a forty one year old Florida woman named
Lauren Riley. Now, what does your uncle Shawla always tell

(00:20):
you about the great state of Florida? Say it with me.
The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and
all of Florida, and today is no exception. I believe
Florida is the actual Internet. You have a be online
and see some of the most madge, insane, deranged, nut
ass things happening and say to yourself, where is this? Okay,

(00:41):
this can't be the earth I live on. I feel
like ninety percent of those things we see like that
online come from Florida. Therefore, Florida is the actual Internet.
Now y'all know what a charcouterie board is, right, you
know the secruitary bordary board. Of course, that's like the
meet and keys. Yeah, yeah, French appetite as they call them.
They got the selection of preserved meats and cheeses. What

(01:04):
you like to meat, inn't And it's got like other
tasty things you know, arranged on like this wooden board
or stone slab meat. It's pretty good. Yeah, I know,
I know. So Lauren was busted with what can only
be described as a crack couterie board. The reason it's
a crack coutery board is because she had a smortgage
board okay, a spread of crack meth in pills. All

(01:26):
she was trying to get high and wont a Future's
hosts okay on like that Future said, all my holes
do shrooms, all my holes do coke. Personally, I think
futures should get new holes. But if that's what he's into,
Lauren is taking it to another level because she does
crack meth and pills. Now, her addiction is a disease.
So I wouldn't give someone donkey of to day for that.
But the drugs, all the reasons she's getting the biggest
heat Hawsey. Lauren was sitting in the passenger seat of

(01:49):
a car when her friend was pulled over in Saint
Petersburg for failing to wear a seat belt at eleven
thirty am on Saturday. A state trooper allegedly saw Lauren
reaching for something on the passage's side floor, and then
the trooper spotted a small burnt piece of tinfoil. A
piece of tinfoil isn't nothing but an air fryer for crack.
So when the cops saw that air fryer for crack,

(02:11):
he asked Lauren to step out the car. Then he
searched the purse, and in that purse was the crack,
the meth, the pills, And she had that whole crack
couterie board in a container. And on the container she
had it marked written putting black and white committed to
ink on the container. I'm not making this up. It
said bag of drugs. Lauren had a pouch in the

(02:35):
car that literally said bag of drugs on it, okay,
And so she had three point twenty five grams of cocaine,
one point seven five grams of crack, and one gram
of crystal meth, not to mention four point five pills
of an anti anxiety drug, one point five opioid pills,
and two pills of an ADHD stimulant, along with drug
prowd of fernilia like a metal spoon, a syringe, and

(02:57):
four glass pipes. Now I need to know, well, how
many bags do you own, Lauren? How many bags do
you have that look alike that you had to label
one bag of drugs. And even if you don't have
any bags that look alike, why did you need to
write bag of drugs on the pouch? Now, I am
a person who does edibles. Okay, I do them for
my anxiety. I do them to relax. I know my
dosage ten milligrams. I'm good. I'm sharing that to say.

(03:19):
Never in my days of doing drugs are selling them?
Have I ever had to label something bag of drugs?
This is the type of stuff my wife does at
the house. You know, you go in the bathroom, things
that labeled. You know, you got your toilet trees, your
dental stuff, soap, you know, just like things are labeled
in the kitchen, brad snacks. But one thing I have
ever seen in my history of life is someone having

(03:40):
a bag of drugs labeled bag of drugs. That sounds
like something that would be on a bag from a
clothing store called the High Street Boutique, our Dose of Style,
or a restaurant the Dose Diner, the Crack Cafe. Lauren
was charged with drug and para fernilia possessing, and she
has since been released from the county jail. No need
to try to make sense of any of this ladies
and get a just know it's Florida. Please give Lauren

(04:03):
Riley the sweet sounds of the Hamiltons you Oh the day,
oh the day. Ye all right, we'll take you for

(04:27):
that Donkey Today, Sir, Donkey of Today is sponsored by
renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull. Lamb is soft,
don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on
your side. If you're ever injured, go to Michael to
bull dot com. That's Michael the Bull dot com. And
when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Wake that ass up in the morning, Come Breakfast Club.