Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club Morning.
Everybody's the j Envy Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne the Guy. We
are the Breakfast Club. You got a special guest in
the building this morning and your day. Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
How are you good?
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I'm good, I'm blessed, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
No new album, Cassandra, Yes, how you feeling.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I'm good. I'm excited about it, I think.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I mean, it comes with like the same nerves you
know that a lot of things come with because I
had a heavier hand in producing this record, you know,
I just I wanted to kind of guide the creative
direction a little bit more. But I'm excited about it. It
feels like a like a like the name was appropriate,
you know what I mean. I feel like I've been
multiple people in the last few years because of a
lot of different things, and so it felt appropriate.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I'm excited. I'm definitely excited. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
And it's after that and Cassandra's your real name? Yeah,
So is this album about you? Like how personal it is?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
It's about me. It's also me kind of like showing up.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
It's me forgiving myself, I think in a way that
I've not before you know, and going through like you know,
love and love loss. You know, I think that, Like
I said, I feel like I've been a lot of
different versions of me.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
The movies had a lot to do with that as
well to relationships.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
You know, I had a lot to do with that,
And so I feel like I'm always trying to figure
out how to show up the right way, you know
what I mean, to show up, like, oh, take the
high road to take so on this album good luck right, yeah, exactly,
on this album, I was like, nah, you know, like
for me this record, usually I'm like, it's okay, try
to be accountable and figured it out.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
On this record, there's a lot of like, nah, it's your.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Fault, you eat that, you know what I mean. So,
I don't know, I'm just being very forgiving with myself
in this record.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
You know what do you mean? Forgiven?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Allowing myself to feel Oftentimes, if I'm frustrated or I'm angry,
or I'm hurt, or I'm disappointed by something or a
broken heart or whatever it is, or just I'm not
getting along with people, I'm always trying to figure out, well,
you must have done something right. You're the common denominator
you know, like I kind of have this fear of
not seeing myself, you know what I'm saying, because like
and so I'm always trying to figure out, you know, okay,
(02:00):
what did you do?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
How did you contribute to that?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
How did you And so I think for the first time,
I'm like, yo, it's okay, Like you're you don't like
this person.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
You don't like what it is they bring it to
the table, This did not work out. You're mad at them,
You're hurt, you know, and like it's okay to express that.
So I've actually struggled with that probably for most.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Of my life, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (02:18):
I think one of the biggest issues is if you
keep attracting I guess fucked up people, you start looking
inward to see what is it about you that keeps
attracting these type of people, which.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I think is like I don't know that that's fully unhealthy, right,
because you do want to figure out, like what is
the thing? You know what I'm saying, that's like drawing
this type of person to me. But what I don't
want to do is take on their things anymore, you
know what I'm saying. That's the thing I'm always trying
to it's okay. So now I'm just like, it's not okay.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I was gonna say, how many f people have their
been and it seems like it's just been one. It
seems like it's been numerous.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I mean, I could be the common denominator. Yeah, yeah,
for sure.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
But you know, and that's why I say, I'm like,
I mean, it's not like it's been I have a
lot of really good people in my life too, you
know what I mean. But yeah, it's kind of that
imposter syndrome thing I think a little bit. So yeah,
I for good people in my life. But yeah, and
it's been nine years. Nine years. I didn't plan okay, okay,
I didn't plan that, you know. I was like, it's
(03:22):
funny because they asked me. I remember in the beginning
when I first signed to the label. They were like,
whose career do you want to emulate?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
You know, they asked you, like weird?
Speaker 4 (03:29):
I didn't actually right, I actually said, I was like, oh,
you know, I think I just was people that I love.
I actually said Shade and they were like, you know,
she only releases albums like every like nine years. I
was like, I'm gonna release more albums. I'll do like
every two to three years. So it just ended up
working out like that because of the movies and because
of like, you know what I'm saying this, I'm slow verned,
(03:52):
you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm really detail oriented.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
I can procrastinate because I can be a perfectionist. So
it's like you know all those things. Yeah, and that's fine.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
You have a project on the record empty Yeah, right,
and you say I'm running on empty. I can't give
you what it says. I can't give love until my
cup is full.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Break that downes.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Speak to what you were just saying.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Yeah, absolutely, And I think that's like I said, that's
the season that I'm in, so empty is It's exactly
I mean at first, I really wrote it for the
ladies because like we are constantly pouring out, we are
constantly giving. But I said, what everybody's you know, tank
is on the everybody's cup cup becomes empty.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
It really is just about just saying like things that
people know, you know, like I can't show up and
be my best self. I can't actually help, I can't serve.
I can't until I actually fill me up, you know
what I'm saying, like, which is a concept I think
that can feel selfish sometimes, you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I grew up in church.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
You know, I don't know about anybody else who I
grew up in church, and some of those themes, like
taking care of yourself first are kind of looked down upon,
you know, But I think as you get older, you
begin to understand, no, I need to be full of,
like spiritually all these things before I can actually do that.
So yeah, I mean, it's also about a relationship to like,
you know this person who just wants so much, you
know what I'm saying from you, But it's like and
(05:11):
realizing too, like you know, this person, this this dude
that I was talking to, you're not pouring into me,
you know the way I'm pouring into you. So it's
really about taking your space and your time and accepting
the fact that, like the scary part about doing that
is that you can lose people sometimes, you know what
I mean. Like when you're actually taking your space and
stepping into your power and taking time to fill up,
(05:31):
it's foreign.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Like people get comfortable with you functioning.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
A certain way that helps and serves them and so
you know, the scary part for me is like I
don't want to lose people, but sometimes you have to
be willing for them to grow and for you to grow,
you know. So that's exactly right. I'm glad you resonated
with that. That's cool.
Speaker 6 (05:47):
Now you talk about the nine years, right, and you're
making a personal album, like you're so many different people
within nine years.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, that's so many different seasons, like how do you?
How do you?
Speaker 6 (05:57):
And you had to make more than one project or
maybe project took a bunch of different lives.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
And no, you're right about that. Actually, because we do.
We have a lot of songs, you know what I mean.
I mean fifteen of them. Technically it's reads of sixteen
made the record, but it's a lot, you know what
I'm saying. And I think for me, once we kind
of came down to putting the record together, it was
just about what songs still stand, you know what I'm saying,
What songs still represent me, what songs still feel like timeless?
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
But you're right, you are a lot of different people
in nine years. Relationships change you, you know what I'm saying,
Like relationships that her relationships where I made mistakes and
I'm like, oh, I've learned from that. The movie definitely
changed me. Really, Holiday had a huge impact in my life.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Her toxic iss you had to be.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
My god, you know what I will say, though, I
will say toxic and beautiful, both very much. You know
what I'm saying, Like we don't we do understand, but
like women of that time, black women of that time,
you know what I mean, so many limited options, and
people really hated her because she was like those options.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Nah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Like she has a quote where she said like I
don't want to be anybody's damn maide, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
And that always really stuck with me.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
So it was not just like her the drugs and
the but it was like the government hounding her. But
the other intoxicating thing for me was how people loved her,
like they were very, very attracted to her, you know.
So that transformed me. I lost a relationship because it
because I changed drastically, you know what I'm saying. When
I came back, things were the same and and so
not that he did anything wrong, he was amazing, you know,
(07:27):
but but I had changed.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
And characters because it was how she loved too. Yeah,
and that actually infiltrated in my life.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
It had to, you know what I mean. So I
was definitely changed by that. And you'll hear some of
that on the record too, and and so, and there's
a few other movies we did, Lee and I filmed
another one called The Deliverance. We filmed another one with
Titus called Exhibiting Forgiveness. So all of that information, you know,
And like I said, love gained, love loss, my relationship
(07:56):
with God growing and changing, like it's a lot of
different people.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Hopefully it just jels when y'all hear it.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
But yeah, so this is the first time you're up here.
So for people that don't know, how did you get
into this entertainment world? I know you started out out
of high school, started doing all types of odd jobs. Yes,
from some of that.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, no, I'm my god. I was talking about this
the other night too.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
I've had like twenty five jobs, and I feel like
when people check your references, that's a lie because like
they would stop hiring me after like job twelve thirteen.
But yeah, so it was I've always wanted to do this,
Like this has always been I went to performing arts school,
you know, and so but for me, it was really
deciding like do I want to do Broadway, you know,
(08:37):
cause that's kind of what the school trained you for,
or do I actually want to be like an artist?
And then, you know, around sixteen, I feel like I
finally decided like, Okay, recording music is what I actually
want to do, and you an artists create kind of
my own you know what I'm saying journey, and so
I just I was you know, it's so funny.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Sometimes it's hard to you know.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Somebody said to me the other day, you didn't skip
any steps, and I'm like, yeah, definitely, no step skipped.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
But you wanted to though I definitely wanted to.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I don't want to write out right, so no, but
it was so it was everything, I mean, working regular jobs,
you know, I did everything from like cleaning old apartments
that people moved out of paper route like an account manager,
you know too.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I used to I used to show up to kids
birthday parties.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
As like entertainment.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Entertainment, yeah exactly, which, to be honest with you, at
the time, I was like this is like, you know, yeah,
the kids I played Elmo, I played Jesus. I played
Mickey Mouse.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
I played the voices and everything I had to do.
The voice.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
Oh, I don't even remember the Elmo voice. I know
the mini voice was like it was like a last
I was going from last night.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
No I didn't.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
I got high when I got there, you know, you
know what. I can't No, no, no, I can't do that. No,
I'm like.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
One of those people. You never want to be high with.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Me, Like I realiz is that early on any through
the roof and we would be like, I love to
smoke with you, and they'd be like, oh my god, no,
never mind never but no, I so I would. That
was actually one of my probably most memorable jobs, because honestly,
kids sometimes aren't that excited to see you pop up,
you know what I mean. Like, they had a birthday
party for a one year old one time and they
(10:19):
hired me, and I was like, this is amazing, first kid,
kids are gonna love me.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Wow, amazing. And I walked in. They started screaming because.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
They hired a seven foot rap for a one year
old's birthday party.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I was reiny, like, I was like, so they were
super terrified.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
So yeah, I mean I did a lot of jobs,
and then I was doing shows as well too, and
recording music, just trying to get in every studio, every
little hood studio I could, you know what I'm saying,
and just meet people record music and work with them,
and and and then I finally got this like demo teon,
you know, because we were burning CDs at the time,
we had to go to Kinko's and get all your
(10:54):
artwork rented. And so I would do shows at Mission Beach,
which was like a beach in San Diego, fro and
I would pass out like CDs and all that stuff. Well,
I was trying to sell them at first, but nobody
will buy them, so I just had to exactly, I'll
just just listen, you know. And then eventually there was
like this kind of local sort of manager there.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
He was working with artists and so he was helping
me do some things.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
And and then I ended up meeting this other manager
in LA because I would come up to LA to
try and do like shows or just like you know,
at the time, it's like you want to get into
parties when you're young. You just think if I can
get in the face of this person, then I could
get their attention. Or whatever, so you don't realize it
doesn't exactly work like that, but sometimes it can. So
I'll try to get up to parties, you know what
(11:40):
I'm saying, Like artists would have parties. Try to get
in and give them my CD or just their tour
bus will be there and you try to give it
to the security and you know, all.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Things that.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Everything, you know what I'm saying. Definitely like on the street, yeah,
all of that. So like, and then finally I got
in the hands of like this one manager who was
one of the people he was talking about. But but
the good thing that did come from it is after
all those years, I sang in a strip mall, actually
in this little strip mall, and they just recorded it
(12:09):
in front of a shoe store. And then he found
himself in a pastry shop with Stevie Wonder's wife at
the time.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
It was Kyle Miller.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Morris was amazing, and she heard it and she was like, Wow,
I really like her voice. I like her sound. It's
so different. She's like, I want to play it for
my husband. He's like, who to your husband? She said
to Stevie Wondering, So she played it for him. He
loved the sound, and then they orchestrated a call and like,
y'all when I tell you, I was like, well, it's
just like one of those like when worlds collide.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You know. No, he didn't shut up, man, what's wrong
with you? Man, I'm trying.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
He got a good sense of humor about that, so
that's good. But yeah, no, so I was it was
like the world's collided. Like I was living with my
mom at the time in this tiny, little like studio
one bedroom apartment behind seven to eleven next to a dumpster,
like and it was I mean, this apartment was just
like no square foot and then he calls, and it's
(13:04):
just like the biggest name in the world to me called,
and you know what I mean, he talked about he
did talk about my sign. He was asking me, like
you know what I was, And he talked about a
song he wanted to write at the time, and then
asked me about my music and if I was intentional
at the time, I was making songs that were like
like it was kind of retro pop sound, and I
was making songs that were like maybe two minutes max.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Because like all those old records used to be real
short like.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
That, and so he picked up on that and it
didn't work out at the time. And I always share
the story so people know, like you'll have moments like this,
but like just you never know what's actually happening behind
the scenes.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So you thought you made it. He was like, I
just spoke to Steve.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Landaw, but then I heard when I heard back from
the manager that I was working with at the time,
he was like, Hey, they didn't really like you. United
it sounded like they did, but he was like, they
didn't really like you. You weren't really good enough. You didn't
you know, speak well enough, all of the things, and yeah,
all this stuff. Yeah, and so but I found out
a year later when him and I saw working together.
Kai and Stevie reached out again and we're like, hey,
(14:03):
we just wanted to check and see are you still
working with that guy blah blah blah, And I said no.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
They said, we held on to your information. So they
brought me up.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
And told me that that he asked for I think
he said twenty or fifty something like that, one thousand
dollars in order for me to actually just get in
the studio and wow, and that they had to pay
him that before I could get with them, and that's
what made them be like the businesses, let me move on.
But fortunately God's so amazing and put on Yeah literally, yeah,
so that's exactly so, you know, for me, it was
(14:30):
just a closed door, keep keep grinding, keep ustling that.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
So I saw I say like, I would share that
because I'm like.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
You just never actually know what's happening behind the scenes,
you know what I'm saying. Yeah, So that was a
part of how everything kicked off.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
What have you learned from Stevie wanted?
Speaker 6 (14:43):
Because sadly, Stevie's one of those people that nobody's gonna
truly appreciate that he's no longer you think, so really
absolutely fully fully like that man can be celebrated in
a whole different way.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
It's actually funny you say that, because I think I
see him like that all the time, you know what
I'm saying. But it's only like recently where sometimes I
run into people they're like, oh, yeah, okay, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I'm kind of like, I don't.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
I've always seen him like that because we grew up
with him, you know what I'm saying, Like, and so,
and he was one of my dad's favorite singers, my
favorite singer. So I've learned. I've actually learned quite a
bit from him. I will say, I think the thing
I've learned the most from him is less about what
he says, even though he does say this, and more
about how he moves, you know, what it is to
(15:27):
stay hungry like always always you know him and I
actually went to well, myself and his family we went
to like brunch you know, a while back.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
It was like right after church.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
And it's funny because he was working on music, you
know what I'm saying at the time, and so he
had his headphones. He always keeps it on him, just
like listening, you know, And so he sits down and
he tells me, he puts in my face. He was like,
you know, Andrew, I really want you to listen to this,
like tell me what you think. And he was so nervous,
like genuinely you know what I'm saying, and like really
(15:57):
asking my opinion, which you know when certain people, for
your you're like, why we don't do like you have
done this to the highest level and the highest degree,
like you said, your whole life since you was what nine,
you know what I'm saying, but he's still like, I
just don't know if it'll resonate with people, if they'll
like it. And and I just thought it was really
beautiful in that moment, like his humility of like wonder
(16:19):
how people receive this and how they'll like it. And
so he's really taught me to just always stay hungry,
you know, to not let it cripple you, but to
always have.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
That those butterflies a little bit about what you do.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
You know what I'm saying, it's probably are you keep
that longevity?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
VI?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, asking those kind of questions thinks so exactly.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
I think once you feel like you got it, you
know what I'm saying, Like, you know, it's good to
be confident, but time changes constantly, seasons change, tastes changed
so much, you know so, And I think as artists,
if we're truly being ourselves, we have to evolve, otherwise
you can't live.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
You know what I'm saying, What did.
Speaker 6 (16:48):
You learn about yourself and lose about yourself playing Billy Holliday?
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Oo hmm.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
I learned about myself that I'm a lot more like her,
maybe in ways that I wouldn't necessarily want to be.
You know what I'm saying, like I'm actually I learned
good things and I learned bad things, right, Like one
of the tougher things to deal is that, like I'm
not good with relationships, you know what I'm saying, I
don't make good decisions.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
I can be very selfish, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Like, And so I think that was It's funny because
I feel like a lot of that I put down
before the movie, but I had to reopen a lot
of that. And acting is very interesting because people think
that you're like pretending, right, you're faking, you're acting, you're
putting on a show. I think if you really really
want to do well, you actually have to be more
(17:34):
honest with yourself. Then most people are comfortable being you
know what I mean. And I learned that from Tasha
and from Lee. So playing Billy just it showed me that, like, yeah,
we're not different from her, right, she came from a
different time period, she didn't, but she was still a
woman who wanted love, you know what I'm saying. It
was like, you know, willing to do whatever, you know
what I mean with whoever to get it. But I
(17:56):
also learned about her that like, like I said, referencing
earlier that as a woman standing in my power, it
will intimidate some people. Some people will be uncomfortable. They'll
want you to either come up to where they are
or come down to where they are. When you just
kind of stay where you are, where you're supposed to
be vibrating and resonating, that can be uncomfortable for people,
(18:17):
you know. And for her it was dangerous, right, you
know what I'm saying. Like for us it can be dangerous.
Not quite the same, but you know what I'm saying,
give me dangerous.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
So I learned. I learned that in a good way, right,
you know. And I learned that, like.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
I and and then, like I said, from a negative side,
just learning that, like, oh wow, I need to when
it comes to relationships, I need I need to examineself,
you know what I'm saying, Spend more time there in
prayer and therapy, you know what I'm saying about all
of that, And gosh, there's there's really a lot of
things I learned from her also, you know, I'm really
(18:55):
what I love about the movie is that people got
to know her as like a godmother of the neo
civil rights movement, right instead of just a tragic drug
addict or a tragic like you know, those things were
planted on her. Those things were imposed upon her because
of her circumstances, because of her singing strange fruit, but
her willingness to give up her life for what she
(19:15):
knew was right and you know, regardless of the drugs
of anything, for her, like her sharpness to be able
to still be clear about that even with everything that
was in her body, how her body was breaking down,
how people were attacking her like I want to touch that,
like I want that, you know what I'm saying. And
so I learned a lot a lot from her. I
loved being her.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
I really really loved being And you seem definitely so
connected with the character, Like yo, you you're so phenomenal.
And she's from Baltimore City, I am yea. All I
knew was her as a singer and the drugs and everything.
And I really learned her story through watching you play her.
So I'm like, damn, it just made me want to girl.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Listen.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
After I watched the movie, I'm like researching. And so
she went through so much, so much, and like you said,
willing to give up her life.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah, or you know things that she believed me.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
One of the things they didn't show in the movie
which we shot is like she would leave the club
and multiple times police would be shooting into her car,
you know what I'm saying, Like it was very like
so she but she would still go on and actually
sing the song and she had her hesitations. But I
love that you from Baltimore because I love I was
able to finally see the statue of her that I
think is in point right, like, yeah, she's from you
know what I'm saying, Like, And when I was there's
(20:26):
like I could see her and picture her as a
little girl like cleaning steps and doing all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
You know.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
So yeah, no, she she was.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
She's And actually the fact that even you being from
Baltimore didn't know that, like she was really the civil
rights here, like before the movement had really kicked up.
It was her singing this song and the death of
the Mattila that really kind of sparked everything.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
But just think everybody over fifty was in the civil.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Rights that everybody over fifty was in.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
New York with them.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
But yeah, no, I love that you know that now
people are acquainted because that was that was the Federal
Bureau of Narcotics or investing.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I don't even I don't like them, so I don't
really know that name.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
There's the FBI Narcotics was back in thee. But but yeah,
so that was their goal. She was way way, way
too famous, way too loved. They were trying to really
kind of like get rid of her legacy entirely, and
they couldn't. But there were a lot of interviews that
went missing, all the things. So they just changed the
narrative and it was like, hey, she was just some
tragic drug addict, like a failure in life. Successful in music,
(21:31):
but a failure in life, which is not true. So
I'm happy to be a part of telling that legacy.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
So what did you lose about yourself?
Speaker 4 (21:38):
What did I lose my part by yourself about myself?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Well, physically, I lost part of my voice. I know,
she was like, which is you know, here's the truth.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
I would do it again, you know what I'm saying,
because I do feel like she deserved that level of commitment, you.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Know what I mean. So and so I will tell
you along with that. It's so weird.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
I gained a confidence, you know what I'm saying, Like
once I was done playing her. It was there was
I don't want to say a carelessness, but it was,
you know, I was sort of walking into rooms a
little less.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Worried about how it would go, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
But I think because of the toll after a few
years that it kind of took on my voice and
me changing as a singer. Then my confidence was actually rocked,
you know what I mean, Because then I start getting
back in performance spaces working on the record, I can't
hit notes I hit before, I can't, you know what
I'm saying. Like, so my confidence actually kind of you know,
took a hit, you know what I'm saying. And then
in relationships, right like I was in a relationship for
(22:38):
four years you know before I did that movie, and
I thought I thought that I was I thought I
was good, you know what I'm saying, And I thought like, wow,
you know, like how I used to be in relationships
more selfish and did all this stuff cool.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
I don't function like that. I don't move no more
bull of all this stuff.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
So it kind of really opened this hand of worms
that was like, hey, there's still stuff underneath that you're
not dealing with, Like We're capable of these things all
the time, you know what I'm saying, Like being unfaithful,
of being dishonest, all of that stuff. I'm absolutely capable
of all of that and have done it and do it.
But so I think it kind of popped the lid
on that, you know what I mean, and I realized
there was more.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Work to be done, deeper work to be done.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
And I realized at the time, I think I was
just getting by, you know what I'm saying, performing well,
you know what I mean. So it kind of took
away the confidence, and that took away the confidence in
like singing and showing up.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
But the good thing about it is that I feel.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Like I'm rebuilding a foundation on like solid ground, you
know what I'm saying. And so so I kind of
feel myself coming back to a place of like wholeness
and groundedness.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
So does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
I can kind of landboth side it. Make sure. I
was answering that, is there.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
Any song on the on the album that you like
that you would consider your favorite? Ooh ooh, it's so hard.
You had the most fun making this when this is
the one you was in there, like.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
You know, I think, yeah, maybe next time it's one
of them. Maybe next time is definitely the song, because
maybe next time it's just to read. Like I said,
I just had to tell his nigga boy himself and
like I was just.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Like I just had to get off my chest. I
was trying to write to be like I've learned lessons.
I was like, yeah, this is what you did. You
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
I was like, and I kind of like, so, okay,
so I used to do this thing. Do not ask
me about I do not have them no more because
they were sitting right next to my devotion journal and
God was like really and I was like, okay, I'll
delete it. I used to write like this raps for
like rappers. I felt like the didn't come back hard
enough and like, uh, you know in beefs you know.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So did you write one for Draco?
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Oh my god, I wrote one for him like earlier
in the like this beef Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah, but it's like, yeah I did one for like
I did. I used to do it was like my thing.
It was just me in my notes, like I will
never record them. I'll never I just write him down.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I'm like, they could have said this this person. They
even talk about the whole team and the squad and
dad also, So I used to do that all the time,
so like I think, what maybe next time. I was
kind of tapping into that because I was like, I'm
not a rapper like that, So I was like, I'll
just like sing flow you know what I'm saying, and
just like speak what's on my chest. And so that's
probably one of my favorite because I got a lot
off my chest, you know what I'm saying, and I'm
(25:17):
just being pettier in that song, and that's just just
necessary sometimes how.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Much accountability are you taking?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Though?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
And this record.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
I did another accountability.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I have it not know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
No, I think for me this record is like there's
always accountability. I think it's like growth. But like, which
is why I was gonna say Still at the end
of the record is one of my favorite songs and
a song called Nervous, because Still is like it's not
necessarily just taking accountability, it's just accepting that like all
of this stuff you went through and you did you
know what I'm saying, like the stuff that I'm I
(25:54):
feel not proud of and the stuff that I'm hurt
by or whatever.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
All of that stuff was a part of the journey,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Like, I feel like life is cyclical and we can
kind of but in a cycle, like you know, sometimes
you're going up, you're going forward.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Sometimes it feels like you're going down.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Sometimes feel like you're going backwards, like but you're always moving,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Forward, Yeah, And so I feel like still.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Is a reminder that like, like I do devotion every morning, right,
so I pray, you know, rescripture meditator on the word,
and then you know, try to live my life, you know,
according to that. But like realizing that, like sometimes it
doesn't feel good, but that process, like working out in
the gym, eventually it will develop it Eventually it.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Will best, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
So the song goes from being stuck still to actually
being still and having peace, you know what I mean.
So it's less about accountability, it's more about just accepting
that the journey is what it is.
Speaker 6 (26:47):
Every single version of yourself ever deserves exactly what the
version of you is getting now, which.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Is a feeling point.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, that's a good point. Can we
expect any visuals. Yes, yes, no visuals. You've got to
give me a trouble girl.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
I just kidd right, you know we are we have
like we have music videos. Actually that's my creative direcord
actually right here to me that we're working on. I
just want to my thing for this record is everything.
I want to be cinematic and immersive, you know what
I mean, because that's like I feel, isn't it that
I feel like that's the best for me. Like when
you go to a show and you feel like as
(27:22):
soon as you walk through the doors, the atmosphere chess
like you're transported.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
You know.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
I still love Disneyland like I'm a child, you know
what I mean. So I like feeling like and so
that's the thing. So the album is called Cassandra Parentheses,
jeriit and I'm examining through love, you know what I'm saying,
through work, through career, through confidence, my spiritual walk you know.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Uh, I'm examining this journey from.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Like the desert to the water, which for me represents
the journey from operating from a place of black right,
you know, which is like what consumerism breathes, right, you
don't you know pretty enough, so you need to do
this to your body. You don't have enough, so you
need these clothes and money. If you need this money
so you can be loved and you can feel worthy.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
And I go, like, what happens if I really believe God? Right?
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Like what happens if, like when God says that everything
I need I have not just in me, but like
in my community, right in the people that I've been
blessed to meet and encounter. What happens if I live
life from a place of abundance and fullness and actually
operate in that place. So I'm examining that journey and
all the bumps along the way, and so I want
(28:27):
the experience of that to be really immersive and fun,
and so I want the videos to be really cinematic.
So I'm kind of taking my time with it. Yea
to everybody behind me, dismay what their face is looking like,
come on now, But but I really I'm taking my
time with it because I want the right people, Like
(28:48):
I would like to have, you know, actors in the video,
and I want the right people in it. I want
the right creative like I just want to make sure
everything is there. So I'm a slow burn. So I'm
kind of taking my time with data.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Well, the way I know is, I'm pretty sure it's
gonna be a made thank you so.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Much, and you want to Grammy and a golden Glover.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
I did, and Emmy, which I didn't realize I wanted
till like two years? Was it two years later?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
When did?
Speaker 3 (29:09):
When did I remember that you didn't know that you
wanted to do years?
Speaker 4 (29:14):
I know it was a friends and family Emmy or
something like that for Michelle, and I was like, that's
a blessing.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
That's a good way to wake up.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
What does that validation mean you?
Speaker 3 (29:23):
That's a good That's a good conversation. Hmmm.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
It means this is going to sound really crazy. It
means a lot and nothing at the same time. That
makes sense a little bit because it means a lot,
just because you know.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
What it reminds me of.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
It reminds I did not expect this movie to do
what it did. I didn't expect the character to do what.
I didn't expect my performance. I went to set every
day expecting to get fired, which is a crazy mentality
to go in with. I I never expected I would
get the role and to be honest with you, I
didn't want it it first because I was like, I'm
not an actor, like so I just thought, I'm gonna
do this little movie. I'll probably be terrible, they'll edit
(30:04):
around me, or they'll fire me. It's fine, you know whatever.
So I think that for me is just like validation
of like, you know, there's something in scripture. There's a
scripture that I love that says God is able to
do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can even think
or ask, you know what I mean. And I love
(30:25):
that scripture so much because like it helps me to
operate in faith because when I let go, you know,
I don't have to worry that like, oh it'll be terrible.
It'll be better than what I thought, you know. So
it means a lot to me. I know, it means
a lot, you know, to me for that reason and
for the people who put the work in the time.
And Lee puts so much work in time into me,
Tasha puts so much work in time. My whole cast, everybody,
(30:47):
you know what I'm saying. Trey Tyler, you know, Devine,
Miss Lawrence, you know Garrett Evan, you know. Like, so
there was a lot of people really rooting for me,
you know what I'm saying. So it just shows me
that like community and collaboration is where it's at. You know,
I hear the word the term self made often, right, Yeah,
got it on my own, nobody helped me do. It's
(31:10):
not really a true statement because like even when you
work on your own and you self made, at some
point to get this job, somebody had to say yes
to get funding, somebody had to say yes in order
to so there's so it just reminds me that like
collaboration and community is really a blessing, and it is
nice when the community, you know what I'm saying, recognizes it,
but it is not validation for me. It's a blessing
(31:34):
and it's a bonus and it's beautiful. But I don't
think I would tell any artists that, like, hey, make
sure you shoot for that. If that's your goal and
that's something you really want, yes, go for it, you
know what I mean. But don't let it stop you,
you know what I'm saying, Because I feel like that
can be a thing where you recognize people, it can
be a blessing, but it can also be a thing
that just makes people feel like they're not capable, you
(31:55):
know what I'm saying, or they're less than. So I'm blessed,
but it does not define me in that way the
terms I can put it, you know what I'm saying. Also, listen,
I'm not going to pars words that community. The representation
is not really there yet, you know what I'm saying.
There's there are people making strides, which is beautiful. So
I want to make sure I shout out and highlight
the people within these these sort of like organization or
(32:19):
these committees that are actually seeking to get more representation,
you know what I'm saying, for different types of communities.
But yeah, so when you have a group of people
that don't look like you that say, oh, I didn't
resonate with this, and it's like, well, why would you
resonate with this?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
You don't have this experience, you don't look like me.
So those are things, if I'm being really candid, like,
those are things that need to be looked at and addressed,
you know what I'm saying. If something like this is
to persist, like some of.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
Those same people, yeah, white people, Yeah, exactly, we're pissed
off at you when you're saying the Black National anthem,
not you.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
They were just mad that the Black National anthem.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Lift every boys and things.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, how do you feel about that? Backlass?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Well, first of all, how was that feeling the Super Bowl?
My god?
Speaker 3 (33:01):
That so first, okay, I'll deal with the feeling first.
You're right, Like, the feeling was just like, my god.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
When I tell y'all, so, here's the thing I these
are like it goes back to, like I said, standing
in your power. When you have a truth and an
understanding and you're willing to sacrifice for that, Like, it
can be scary because you lose things, people, opportunities. So
performing at the super Bowl for me was just such
a blessing. Was a full circle moment, terrifying, Like, oh
my god, y'all, Like at a certain point I was
(33:26):
so scared these was shaken. But I was like just
gonn numb.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Who called you to say, hey, we need you for
super Bowl?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Well it so Felicio. That's my manager, Felicia by the way,
So it was who called us?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Rage are amazing?
Speaker 4 (33:38):
By the way, Jesse yes, so like and so who
Jesse is just like amazing and being an incredible friend.
But I stopped singing the national anthem like years ago,
and I've been asked a lot to do it, you
know what I'm saying for different gangs, for different things,
and I just finally got to a point, you know,
especially after the Kaepernick stuff and all that, I was
just kind of like, you know, I don't want to
(33:59):
sing this again, you know what I'm saying in support
until I can sing this song in this arena, you
feel me like and and for me it was a
big deal because because I was like, I'm tired of
people acting like this, singing songs that represent other people.
You know, yeah, is divisive, and it's not because I
feel like it's the black national anthem, but it actually
speaks to unity, you know what I'm saying, and I
(34:22):
think opens people's eyes. And so it was really a
full circle moment because to get the call because when
she called me, she was like, they want you to
sing the anthem at the super Bowl and I can't
even go into I'd sing anthe da da da.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
They want you to sing that thery words and sing.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
I was like, even if it was the regular one,
you wasn't gonna sing as the Suer.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
Bowl so like, so the fact that it was that
that after all these years, I was able to do
it and to sing that song on the biggest stage
was so crazy. I was so so nervous, you know,
but I but I knew that like I'm aligned, like
I'm walking in purpose here and so and to deal with, like,
you know, the feeling of all the backlash from just
(34:59):
the anger whites you know, who didn't want me to
sing it. To be honest with you, it's funny because
I think y'all brought it up to me one time
and it was like, hey, you know, how do you feel.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I honestly was not.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Paying attention to it at all, you know what I mean.
And I'm not even saying that as like cap where
I'm just like to protect my people. I really didn't
know at first, you know what I mean. And then
once I found out, it was just like I don't care,
Like I really don't care. And I think that's the
thing like when you walk in purpose. Like I said,
it was like some people will be mad, you know
what I'm saying, And listen, they're not just mad about
(35:29):
the song being sung, you know what I mean. It's
just black people showing up in ourselves and as we
are and who we are in any arena. We don't
want you infiltrating our anything, our games, our shows, our culture,
our life. You know, but that's not a real representation
of like American life, you know.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
What I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
So for me, I think my perspective was a spiritual
perspective where I go and God's working on me on
this part. You know what I'm saying about loving everybody,
those white people, So that was my thing. I was like,
you know what, what I'm gonna choose to do is
love you the way I love everybody and just distance myself,
(36:10):
you know what I'm saying. Because the truth is, y'all
gonna be mad, you know what I'm saying anyway, And
the sad part is what you in sitting there angry.
You're actually going to miss the blessing of what this
moment could be, you know what I'm saying, Like, you're
gonna miss what this song is actually saying. You're gonna
miss what you can learn from these people struggle, you
know what I'm saying, and from their triumph, And so
more than anything, I.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Felt bad for them.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
You know what I'm saying. I was like, y'all, y'all
could stay over there. So I was just really like,
nothing was gonna stop me from doing this, you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
So nothing did.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Yeah, And I feel like the truth is people will
always find a reason to be mad. They will always
find a reason to be mad as long as they
have to share. But that's just time is going to
continue to turn over and those people will be phased out,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Right Well, the album Cassandra comes out May tenth, and
we appreciate you for joining us.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Thank you. Oh my god, I was really sit about this.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Thank you, Thank you so much. Ladies and gentlemen. It's
on today. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning, Wake that
ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
The Breakfast Club
Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club Morning.
Everybody's the j Envy Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne the Guy. We
are the Breakfast Club. You got a special guest in
the building this morning and your day. Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
How are you good?
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I'm good, I'm blessed, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
No new album, Cassandra, Yes, how you feeling.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I'm good. I'm excited about it, I think.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I mean, it comes with like the same nerves you
know that a lot of things come with because I
had a heavier hand in producing this record, you know,
I just I wanted to kind of guide the creative
direction a little bit more. But I'm excited about it. It
feels like a like a like the name was appropriate,
you know what I mean. I feel like I've been
multiple people in the last few years because of a
lot of different things, and so it felt appropriate.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I'm excited. I'm definitely excited. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
And it's after that and Cassandra's your real name? Yeah,
So is this album about you? Like how personal it is?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
It's about me. It's also me kind of like showing up.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
It's me forgiving myself, I think in a way that
I've not before you know, and going through like you know,
love and love loss. You know, I think that, Like
I said, I feel like I've been a lot of
different versions of me.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
The movies had a lot to do with that as
well to relationships.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
You know, I had a lot to do with that,
And so I feel like I'm always trying to figure
out how to show up the right way, you know
what I mean, to show up, like, oh, take the
high road to take so on this album good luck right, yeah, exactly,
on this album, I was like, nah, you know, like
for me this record, usually I'm like, it's okay, try
to be accountable and figured it out.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
On this record, there's a lot of like, nah, it's your.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Fault, you eat that, you know what I mean. So,
I don't know, I'm just being very forgiving with myself
in this record.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
You know what do you mean? Forgiven?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Allowing myself to feel Oftentimes, if I'm frustrated or I'm angry,
or I'm hurt, or I'm disappointed by something or a
broken heart or whatever it is, or just I'm not
getting along with people, I'm always trying to figure out, well,
you must have done something right. You're the common denominator
you know, like I kind of have this fear of
not seeing myself, you know what I'm saying, because like
and so I'm always trying to figure out, you know, okay,
(02:00):
what did you do?
Speaker 3 (02:01):
How did you contribute to that?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
How did you And so I think for the first time,
I'm like, yo, it's okay, Like you're you don't like
this person.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
You don't like what it is they bring it to
the table, This did not work out. You're mad at them,
You're hurt, you know, and like it's okay to express that.
So I've actually struggled with that probably for most.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Of my life, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (02:18):
I think one of the biggest issues is if you
keep attracting I guess fucked up people, you start looking
inward to see what is it about you that keeps
attracting these type of people, which.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I think is like I don't know that that's fully unhealthy, right,
because you do want to figure out, like what is
the thing? You know what I'm saying, that's like drawing
this type of person to me. But what I don't
want to do is take on their things anymore, you
know what I'm saying. That's the thing I'm always trying
to it's okay. So now I'm just like, it's not okay.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I was gonna say, how many f people have their
been and it seems like it's just been one. It
seems like it's been numerous.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I mean, I could be the common denominator. Yeah, yeah,
for sure.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
But you know, and that's why I say, I'm like,
I mean, it's not like it's been I have a
lot of really good people in my life too, you
know what I mean. But yeah, it's kind of that
imposter syndrome thing I think a little bit. So yeah,
I for good people in my life. But yeah, and
it's been nine years. Nine years. I didn't plan okay, okay,
I didn't plan that, you know. I was like, it's
(03:22):
funny because they asked me. I remember in the beginning
when I first signed to the label. They were like,
whose career do you want to emulate?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
You know, they asked you, like weird?
Speaker 4 (03:29):
I didn't actually right, I actually said, I was like, oh,
you know, I think I just was people that I love.
I actually said Shade and they were like, you know,
she only releases albums like every like nine years. I
was like, I'm gonna release more albums. I'll do like
every two to three years. So it just ended up
working out like that because of the movies and because
of like, you know what I'm saying this, I'm slow verned,
(03:52):
you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm really detail oriented.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
I can procrastinate because I can be a perfectionist. So
it's like you know all those things. Yeah, and that's fine.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
You have a project on the record empty Yeah, right,
and you say I'm running on empty. I can't give
you what it says. I can't give love until my
cup is full.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Break that downes.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Speak to what you were just saying.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Yeah, absolutely, And I think that's like I said, that's
the season that I'm in, so empty is It's exactly
I mean at first, I really wrote it for the
ladies because like we are constantly pouring out, we are
constantly giving. But I said, what everybody's you know, tank
is on the everybody's cup cup becomes empty.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
It really is just about just saying like things that
people know, you know, like I can't show up and
be my best self. I can't actually help, I can't serve.
I can't until I actually fill me up, you know
what I'm saying, like, which is a concept I think
that can feel selfish sometimes, you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I grew up in church.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
You know, I don't know about anybody else who I
grew up in church, and some of those themes, like
taking care of yourself first are kind of looked down upon,
you know, But I think as you get older, you
begin to understand, no, I need to be full of,
like spiritually all these things before I can actually do that.
So yeah, I mean, it's also about a relationship to like,
you know this person who just wants so much, you
know what I'm saying from you, But it's like and
(05:11):
realizing too, like you know, this person, this this dude
that I was talking to, you're not pouring into me,
you know the way I'm pouring into you. So it's
really about taking your space and your time and accepting
the fact that, like the scary part about doing that
is that you can lose people sometimes, you know what
I mean. Like when you're actually taking your space and
stepping into your power and taking time to fill up,
(05:31):
it's foreign.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Like people get comfortable with you functioning.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
A certain way that helps and serves them and so
you know, the scary part for me is like I
don't want to lose people, but sometimes you have to
be willing for them to grow and for you to grow,
you know. So that's exactly right. I'm glad you resonated
with that. That's cool.
Speaker 6 (05:47):
Now you talk about the nine years, right, and you're
making a personal album, like you're so many different people
within nine years.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, that's so many different seasons, like how do you?
How do you?
Speaker 6 (05:57):
And you had to make more than one project or
maybe project took a bunch of different lives.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
And no, you're right about that. Actually, because we do.
We have a lot of songs, you know what I mean.
I mean fifteen of them. Technically it's reads of sixteen
made the record, but it's a lot, you know what
I'm saying. And I think for me, once we kind
of came down to putting the record together, it was
just about what songs still stand, you know what I'm saying,
What songs still represent me, what songs still feel like timeless?
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
But you're right, you are a lot of different people
in nine years. Relationships change you, you know what I'm saying,
Like relationships that her relationships where I made mistakes and
I'm like, oh, I've learned from that. The movie definitely
changed me. Really, Holiday had a huge impact in my life.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Her toxic iss you had to be.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
My god, you know what I will say, though, I
will say toxic and beautiful, both very much. You know
what I'm saying, Like we don't we do understand, but
like women of that time, black women of that time,
you know what I mean, so many limited options, and
people really hated her because she was like those options.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Nah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Like she has a quote where she said like I
don't want to be anybody's damn maide, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
And that always really stuck with me.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
So it was not just like her the drugs and
the but it was like the government hounding her. But
the other intoxicating thing for me was how people loved her,
like they were very, very attracted to her, you know.
So that transformed me. I lost a relationship because it
because I changed drastically, you know what I'm saying. When
I came back, things were the same and and so
not that he did anything wrong, he was amazing, you know,
(07:27):
but but I had changed.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
And characters because it was how she loved too. Yeah,
and that actually infiltrated in my life.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
It had to, you know what I mean. So I
was definitely changed by that. And you'll hear some of
that on the record too, and and so, and there's
a few other movies we did, Lee and I filmed
another one called The Deliverance. We filmed another one with
Titus called Exhibiting Forgiveness. So all of that information, you know,
And like I said, love gained, love loss, my relationship
(07:56):
with God growing and changing, like it's a lot of
different people.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Hopefully it just jels when y'all hear it.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
But yeah, so this is the first time you're up here.
So for people that don't know, how did you get
into this entertainment world? I know you started out out
of high school, started doing all types of odd jobs. Yes,
from some of that.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, no, I'm my god. I was talking about this
the other night too.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
I've had like twenty five jobs, and I feel like
when people check your references, that's a lie because like
they would stop hiring me after like job twelve thirteen.
But yeah, so it was I've always wanted to do this,
Like this has always been I went to performing arts school,
you know, and so but for me, it was really
deciding like do I want to do Broadway, you know,
(08:37):
cause that's kind of what the school trained you for,
or do I actually want to be like an artist?
And then, you know, around sixteen, I feel like I
finally decided like, Okay, recording music is what I actually
want to do, and you an artists create kind of
my own you know what I'm saying journey, and so
I just I was you know, it's so funny.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Sometimes it's hard to you know.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Somebody said to me the other day, you didn't skip
any steps, and I'm like, yeah, definitely, no step skipped.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
But you wanted to though I definitely wanted to.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I don't want to write out right, so no, but
it was so it was everything, I mean, working regular jobs,
you know, I did everything from like cleaning old apartments
that people moved out of paper route like an account manager,
you know too.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I used to I used to show up to kids
birthday parties.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
As like entertainment.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Entertainment, yeah exactly, which, to be honest with you, at
the time, I was like this is like, you know, yeah,
the kids I played Elmo, I played Jesus. I played
Mickey Mouse.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
I played the voices and everything I had to do.
The voice.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
Oh, I don't even remember the Elmo voice. I know
the mini voice was like it was like a last
I was going from last night.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
No I didn't.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
I got high when I got there, you know, you
know what. I can't No, no, no, I can't do that. No,
I'm like.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
One of those people. You never want to be high with.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Me, Like I realiz is that early on any through
the roof and we would be like, I love to
smoke with you, and they'd be like, oh my god, no,
never mind never but no, I so I would. That
was actually one of my probably most memorable jobs, because honestly,
kids sometimes aren't that excited to see you pop up,
you know what I mean. Like, they had a birthday
party for a one year old one time and they
(10:19):
hired me, and I was like, this is amazing, first kid,
kids are gonna love me.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Wow, amazing. And I walked in. They started screaming because.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
They hired a seven foot rap for a one year
old's birthday party.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I was reiny, like, I was like, so they were
super terrified.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
So yeah, I mean I did a lot of jobs,
and then I was doing shows as well too, and
recording music, just trying to get in every studio, every
little hood studio I could, you know what I'm saying,
and just meet people record music and work with them,
and and and then I finally got this like demo teon,
you know, because we were burning CDs at the time,
we had to go to Kinko's and get all your
(10:54):
artwork rented. And so I would do shows at Mission Beach,
which was like a beach in San Diego, fro and
I would pass out like CDs and all that stuff. Well,
I was trying to sell them at first, but nobody
will buy them, so I just had to exactly, I'll
just just listen, you know. And then eventually there was
like this kind of local sort of manager there.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
He was working with artists and so he was helping
me do some things.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
And and then I ended up meeting this other manager
in LA because I would come up to LA to
try and do like shows or just like you know,
at the time, it's like you want to get into
parties when you're young. You just think if I can
get in the face of this person, then I could
get their attention. Or whatever, so you don't realize it
doesn't exactly work like that, but sometimes it can. So
I'll try to get up to parties, you know what
(11:40):
I'm saying, Like artists would have parties. Try to get
in and give them my CD or just their tour
bus will be there and you try to give it
to the security and you know, all.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Things that.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Everything, you know what I'm saying. Definitely like on the street, yeah,
all of that. So like, and then finally I got
in the hands of like this one manager who was
one of the people he was talking about. But but
the good thing that did come from it is after
all those years, I sang in a strip mall, actually
in this little strip mall, and they just recorded it
(12:09):
in front of a shoe store. And then he found
himself in a pastry shop with Stevie Wonder's wife at
the time.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
It was Kyle Miller.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Morris was amazing, and she heard it and she was like, Wow,
I really like her voice. I like her sound. It's
so different. She's like, I want to play it for
my husband. He's like, who to your husband? She said
to Stevie Wondering, So she played it for him. He
loved the sound, and then they orchestrated a call and like,
y'all when I tell you, I was like, well, it's
just like one of those like when worlds collide.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You know. No, he didn't shut up, man, what's wrong
with you? Man, I'm trying.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
He got a good sense of humor about that, so
that's good. But yeah, no, so I was it was
like the world's collided. Like I was living with my
mom at the time in this tiny, little like studio
one bedroom apartment behind seven to eleven next to a dumpster,
like and it was I mean, this apartment was just
like no square foot and then he calls, and it's
(13:04):
just like the biggest name in the world to me called,
and you know what I mean, he talked about he
did talk about my sign. He was asking me, like
you know what I was, And he talked about a
song he wanted to write at the time, and then
asked me about my music and if I was intentional
at the time, I was making songs that were like
like it was kind of retro pop sound, and I
was making songs that were like maybe two minutes max.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Because like all those old records used to be real
short like.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
That, and so he picked up on that and it
didn't work out at the time. And I always share
the story so people know, like you'll have moments like this,
but like just you never know what's actually happening behind
the scenes.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So you thought you made it. He was like, I
just spoke to Steve.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Landaw, but then I heard when I heard back from
the manager that I was working with at the time,
he was like, Hey, they didn't really like you. United
it sounded like they did, but he was like, they
didn't really like you. You weren't really good enough. You didn't
you know, speak well enough, all of the things, and yeah,
all this stuff. Yeah, and so but I found out
a year later when him and I saw working together.
Kai and Stevie reached out again and we're like, hey,
(14:03):
we just wanted to check and see are you still
working with that guy blah blah blah, And I said no.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
They said, we held on to your information. So they
brought me up.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
And told me that that he asked for I think
he said twenty or fifty something like that, one thousand
dollars in order for me to actually just get in
the studio and wow, and that they had to pay
him that before I could get with them, and that's
what made them be like the businesses, let me move on.
But fortunately God's so amazing and put on Yeah literally, yeah,
so that's exactly so, you know, for me, it was
(14:30):
just a closed door, keep keep grinding, keep ustling that.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
So I saw I say like, I would share that
because I'm like.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
You just never actually know what's happening behind the scenes,
you know what I'm saying. Yeah, So that was a
part of how everything kicked off.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
What have you learned from Stevie wanted?
Speaker 6 (14:43):
Because sadly, Stevie's one of those people that nobody's gonna
truly appreciate that he's no longer you think, so really
absolutely fully fully like that man can be celebrated in
a whole different way.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
It's actually funny you say that, because I think I
see him like that all the time, you know what
I'm saying. But it's only like recently where sometimes I
run into people they're like, oh, yeah, okay, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I'm kind of like, I don't.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
I've always seen him like that because we grew up
with him, you know what I'm saying, Like, and so,
and he was one of my dad's favorite singers, my
favorite singer. So I've learned. I've actually learned quite a
bit from him. I will say, I think the thing
I've learned the most from him is less about what
he says, even though he does say this, and more
about how he moves, you know, what it is to
(15:27):
stay hungry like always always you know him and I
actually went to well, myself and his family we went
to like brunch you know, a while back.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
It was like right after church.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
And it's funny because he was working on music, you
know what I'm saying at the time, and so he
had his headphones. He always keeps it on him, just
like listening, you know, And so he sits down and
he tells me, he puts in my face. He was like,
you know, Andrew, I really want you to listen to this,
like tell me what you think. And he was so nervous,
like genuinely you know what I'm saying, and like really
(15:57):
asking my opinion, which you know when certain people, for
your you're like, why we don't do like you have
done this to the highest level and the highest degree,
like you said, your whole life since you was what nine,
you know what I'm saying, but he's still like, I
just don't know if it'll resonate with people, if they'll
like it. And and I just thought it was really
beautiful in that moment, like his humility of like wonder
(16:19):
how people receive this and how they'll like it. And
so he's really taught me to just always stay hungry,
you know, to not let it cripple you, but to
always have.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
That those butterflies a little bit about what you do.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
You know what I'm saying, it's probably are you keep
that longevity?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
VI?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, asking those kind of questions thinks so exactly.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
I think once you feel like you got it, you
know what I'm saying, Like, you know, it's good to
be confident, but time changes constantly, seasons change, tastes changed
so much, you know so, And I think as artists,
if we're truly being ourselves, we have to evolve, otherwise
you can't live.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
You know what I'm saying, What did.
Speaker 6 (16:48):
You learn about yourself and lose about yourself playing Billy Holliday?
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Oo hmm.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
I learned about myself that I'm a lot more like her,
maybe in ways that I wouldn't necessarily want to be.
You know what I'm saying, like I'm actually I learned
good things and I learned bad things, right, Like one
of the tougher things to deal is that, like I'm
not good with relationships, you know what I'm saying, I
don't make good decisions.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
I can be very selfish, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Like, And so I think that was It's funny because
I feel like a lot of that I put down
before the movie, but I had to reopen a lot
of that. And acting is very interesting because people think
that you're like pretending, right, you're faking, you're acting, you're
putting on a show. I think if you really really
want to do well, you actually have to be more
(17:34):
honest with yourself. Then most people are comfortable being you
know what I mean. And I learned that from Tasha
and from Lee. So playing Billy just it showed me that, like, yeah,
we're not different from her, right, she came from a
different time period, she didn't, but she was still a
woman who wanted love, you know what I'm saying. It
was like, you know, willing to do whatever, you know
what I mean with whoever to get it. But I
(17:56):
also learned about her that like, like I said, referencing
earlier that as a woman standing in my power, it
will intimidate some people. Some people will be uncomfortable. They'll
want you to either come up to where they are
or come down to where they are. When you just
kind of stay where you are, where you're supposed to
be vibrating and resonating, that can be uncomfortable for people,
(18:17):
you know. And for her it was dangerous, right, you
know what I'm saying. Like for us it can be dangerous.
Not quite the same, but you know what I'm saying,
give me dangerous.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
So I learned. I learned that in a good way, right,
you know. And I learned that, like.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
I and and then, like I said, from a negative side,
just learning that, like, oh wow, I need to when
it comes to relationships, I need I need to examineself,
you know what I'm saying, Spend more time there in
prayer and therapy, you know what I'm saying about all
of that, And gosh, there's there's really a lot of
things I learned from her also, you know, I'm really
(18:55):
what I love about the movie is that people got
to know her as like a godmother of the neo
civil rights movement, right instead of just a tragic drug
addict or a tragic like you know, those things were
planted on her. Those things were imposed upon her because
of her circumstances, because of her singing strange fruit, but
her willingness to give up her life for what she
(19:15):
knew was right and you know, regardless of the drugs
of anything, for her, like her sharpness to be able
to still be clear about that even with everything that
was in her body, how her body was breaking down,
how people were attacking her like I want to touch that,
like I want that, you know what I'm saying. And
so I learned a lot a lot from her. I
loved being her.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
I really really loved being And you seem definitely so
connected with the character, Like yo, you you're so phenomenal.
And she's from Baltimore City, I am yea. All I
knew was her as a singer and the drugs and everything.
And I really learned her story through watching you play her.
So I'm like, damn, it just made me want to girl.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Listen.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
After I watched the movie, I'm like researching. And so
she went through so much, so much, and like you said,
willing to give up her life.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah, or you know things that she believed me.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
One of the things they didn't show in the movie
which we shot is like she would leave the club
and multiple times police would be shooting into her car,
you know what I'm saying, Like it was very like
so she but she would still go on and actually
sing the song and she had her hesitations. But I
love that you from Baltimore because I love I was
able to finally see the statue of her that I
think is in point right, like, yeah, she's from you
know what I'm saying, Like, And when I was there's
(20:26):
like I could see her and picture her as a
little girl like cleaning steps and doing all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
You know.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
So yeah, no, she she was.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
She's And actually the fact that even you being from
Baltimore didn't know that, like she was really the civil
rights here, like before the movement had really kicked up.
It was her singing this song and the death of
the Mattila that really kind of sparked everything.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
But just think everybody over fifty was in the civil.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Rights that everybody over fifty was in.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
New York with them.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
But yeah, no, I love that you know that now
people are acquainted because that was that was the Federal
Bureau of Narcotics or investing.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
I don't even I don't like them, so I don't
really know that name.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
There's the FBI Narcotics was back in thee. But but yeah,
so that was their goal. She was way way, way
too famous, way too loved. They were trying to really
kind of like get rid of her legacy entirely, and
they couldn't. But there were a lot of interviews that
went missing, all the things. So they just changed the
narrative and it was like, hey, she was just some
tragic drug addict, like a failure in life. Successful in music,
(21:31):
but a failure in life, which is not true. So
I'm happy to be a part of telling that legacy.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
So what did you lose about yourself?
Speaker 4 (21:38):
What did I lose my part by yourself about myself?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Well, physically, I lost part of my voice. I know,
she was like, which is you know, here's the truth.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
I would do it again, you know what I'm saying,
because I do feel like she deserved that level of commitment, you.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Know what I mean. So and so I will tell
you along with that. It's so weird.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
I gained a confidence, you know what I'm saying, Like
once I was done playing her. It was there was
I don't want to say a carelessness, but it was,
you know, I was sort of walking into rooms a
little less.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Worried about how it would go, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
But I think because of the toll after a few
years that it kind of took on my voice and
me changing as a singer. Then my confidence was actually rocked,
you know what I mean, Because then I start getting
back in performance spaces working on the record, I can't
hit notes I hit before, I can't, you know what
I'm saying. Like, so my confidence actually kind of you know,
took a hit, you know what I'm saying. And then
in relationships, right like I was in a relationship for
(22:38):
four years you know before I did that movie, and
I thought I thought that I was I thought I
was good, you know what I'm saying, And I thought like, wow,
you know, like how I used to be in relationships
more selfish and did all this stuff cool.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
I don't function like that. I don't move no more
bull of all this stuff.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
So it kind of really opened this hand of worms
that was like, hey, there's still stuff underneath that you're
not dealing with, Like We're capable of these things all
the time, you know what I'm saying, Like being unfaithful,
of being dishonest, all of that stuff. I'm absolutely capable
of all of that and have done it and do it.
But so I think it kind of popped the lid
on that, you know what I mean, and I realized
there was more.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Work to be done, deeper work to be done.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
And I realized at the time, I think I was
just getting by, you know what I'm saying, performing well,
you know what I mean. So it kind of took
away the confidence, and that took away the confidence in
like singing and showing up.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
But the good thing about it is that I feel.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Like I'm rebuilding a foundation on like solid ground, you
know what I'm saying. And so so I kind of
feel myself coming back to a place of like wholeness
and groundedness.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
So does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
I can kind of landboth side it. Make sure. I
was answering that, is there.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
Any song on the on the album that you like
that you would consider your favorite? Ooh ooh, it's so hard.
You had the most fun making this when this is
the one you was in there, like.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
You know, I think, yeah, maybe next time it's one
of them. Maybe next time is definitely the song, because
maybe next time it's just to read. Like I said,
I just had to tell his nigga boy himself and
like I was just.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Like I just had to get off my chest. I
was trying to write to be like I've learned lessons.
I was like, yeah, this is what you did. You
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
I was like, and I kind of like, so, okay,
so I used to do this thing. Do not ask
me about I do not have them no more because
they were sitting right next to my devotion journal and
God was like really and I was like, okay, I'll
delete it. I used to write like this raps for
like rappers. I felt like the didn't come back hard
enough and like, uh, you know in beefs you know.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So did you write one for Draco?
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Oh my god, I wrote one for him like earlier
in the like this beef Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah, but it's like, yeah I did one for like
I did. I used to do it was like my thing.
It was just me in my notes, like I will
never record them. I'll never I just write him down.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I'm like, they could have said this this person. They
even talk about the whole team and the squad and
dad also, So I used to do that all the time,
so like I think, what maybe next time. I was
kind of tapping into that because I was like, I'm
not a rapper like that, So I was like, I'll
just like sing flow you know what I'm saying, and
just like speak what's on my chest. And so that's
probably one of my favorite because I got a lot
off my chest, you know what I'm saying, and I'm
(25:17):
just being pettier in that song, and that's just just
necessary sometimes how.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Much accountability are you taking?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Though?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
And this record.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
I did another accountability.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I have it not know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
No, I think for me this record is like there's
always accountability. I think it's like growth. But like, which
is why I was gonna say Still at the end
of the record is one of my favorite songs and
a song called Nervous, because Still is like it's not
necessarily just taking accountability, it's just accepting that like all
of this stuff you went through and you did you
know what I'm saying, like the stuff that I'm I
(25:54):
feel not proud of and the stuff that I'm hurt
by or whatever.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
All of that stuff was a part of the journey,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Like, I feel like life is cyclical and we can
kind of but in a cycle, like you know, sometimes
you're going up, you're going forward.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Sometimes it feels like you're going down.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Sometimes feel like you're going backwards, like but you're always moving,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Forward, Yeah, And so I feel like still.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Is a reminder that like, like I do devotion every morning, right,
so I pray, you know, rescripture meditator on the word,
and then you know, try to live my life, you know,
according to that. But like realizing that, like sometimes it
doesn't feel good, but that process, like working out in
the gym, eventually it will develop it Eventually it.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Will best, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
So the song goes from being stuck still to actually
being still and having peace, you know what I mean.
So it's less about accountability, it's more about just accepting
that the journey is what it is.
Speaker 6 (26:47):
Every single version of yourself ever deserves exactly what the
version of you is getting now, which.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Is a feeling point.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, that's a good point. Can we
expect any visuals. Yes, yes, no visuals. You've got to
give me a trouble girl.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
I just kidd right, you know we are we have
like we have music videos. Actually that's my creative direcord
actually right here to me that we're working on. I
just want to my thing for this record is everything.
I want to be cinematic and immersive, you know what
I mean, because that's like I feel, isn't it that
I feel like that's the best for me. Like when
you go to a show and you feel like as
(27:22):
soon as you walk through the doors, the atmosphere chess
like you're transported.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
You know.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
I still love Disneyland like I'm a child, you know
what I mean. So I like feeling like and so
that's the thing. So the album is called Cassandra Parentheses,
jeriit and I'm examining through love, you know what I'm saying,
through work, through career, through confidence, my spiritual walk you know.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Uh, I'm examining this journey from.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Like the desert to the water, which for me represents
the journey from operating from a place of black right,
you know, which is like what consumerism breathes, right, you
don't you know pretty enough, so you need to do
this to your body. You don't have enough, so you
need these clothes and money. If you need this money
so you can be loved and you can feel worthy.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
And I go, like, what happens if I really believe God? Right?
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Like what happens if, like when God says that everything
I need I have not just in me, but like
in my community, right in the people that I've been
blessed to meet and encounter. What happens if I live
life from a place of abundance and fullness and actually
operate in that place. So I'm examining that journey and
all the bumps along the way, and so I want
(28:27):
the experience of that to be really immersive and fun,
and so I want the videos to be really cinematic.
So I'm kind of taking my time with it. Yea
to everybody behind me, dismay what their face is looking like,
come on now, But but I really I'm taking my
time with it because I want the right people, Like
(28:48):
I would like to have, you know, actors in the video,
and I want the right people in it. I want
the right creative like I just want to make sure
everything is there. So I'm a slow burn. So I'm
kind of taking my time with data.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Well, the way I know is, I'm pretty sure it's
gonna be a made thank you so.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Much, and you want to Grammy and a golden Glover.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
I did, and Emmy, which I didn't realize I wanted
till like two years? Was it two years later?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
When did?
Speaker 3 (29:09):
When did I remember that you didn't know that you
wanted to do years?
Speaker 4 (29:14):
I know it was a friends and family Emmy or
something like that for Michelle, and I was like, that's
a blessing.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
That's a good way to wake up.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
What does that validation mean you?
Speaker 3 (29:23):
That's a good That's a good conversation. Hmmm.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
It means this is going to sound really crazy. It
means a lot and nothing at the same time. That
makes sense a little bit because it means a lot,
just because you know.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
What it reminds me of.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
It reminds I did not expect this movie to do
what it did. I didn't expect the character to do what.
I didn't expect my performance. I went to set every
day expecting to get fired, which is a crazy mentality
to go in with. I I never expected I would
get the role and to be honest with you, I
didn't want it it first because I was like, I'm
not an actor, like so I just thought, I'm gonna
do this little movie. I'll probably be terrible, they'll edit
(30:04):
around me, or they'll fire me. It's fine, you know whatever.
So I think that for me is just like validation
of like, you know, there's something in scripture. There's a
scripture that I love that says God is able to
do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can even think
or ask, you know what I mean. And I love
(30:25):
that scripture so much because like it helps me to
operate in faith because when I let go, you know,
I don't have to worry that like, oh it'll be terrible.
It'll be better than what I thought, you know. So
it means a lot to me. I know, it means
a lot, you know, to me for that reason and
for the people who put the work in the time.
And Lee puts so much work in time into me,
Tasha puts so much work in time. My whole cast, everybody,
(30:47):
you know what I'm saying. Trey Tyler, you know, Devine,
Miss Lawrence, you know Garrett Evan, you know. Like, so
there was a lot of people really rooting for me,
you know what I'm saying. So it just shows me
that like community and collaboration is where it's at. You know,
I hear the word the term self made often, right, Yeah,
got it on my own, nobody helped me do. It's
(31:10):
not really a true statement because like even when you
work on your own and you self made, at some
point to get this job, somebody had to say yes
to get funding, somebody had to say yes in order
to so there's so it just reminds me that like
collaboration and community is really a blessing, and it is
nice when the community, you know what I'm saying, recognizes it,
but it is not validation for me. It's a blessing
(31:34):
and it's a bonus and it's beautiful. But I don't
think I would tell any artists that, like, hey, make
sure you shoot for that. If that's your goal and
that's something you really want, yes, go for it, you
know what I mean. But don't let it stop you,
you know what I'm saying, Because I feel like that
can be a thing where you recognize people, it can
be a blessing, but it can also be a thing
that just makes people feel like they're not capable, you
(31:55):
know what I'm saying, or they're less than. So I'm blessed,
but it does not define me in that way the
terms I can put it, you know what I'm saying. Also, listen,
I'm not going to pars words that community. The representation
is not really there yet, you know what I'm saying.
There's there are people making strides, which is beautiful. So
I want to make sure I shout out and highlight
the people within these these sort of like organization or
(32:19):
these committees that are actually seeking to get more representation,
you know what I'm saying, for different types of communities.
But yeah, so when you have a group of people
that don't look like you that say, oh, I didn't
resonate with this, and it's like, well, why would you
resonate with this?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
You don't have this experience, you don't look like me.
So those are things, if I'm being really candid, like,
those are things that need to be looked at and addressed,
you know what I'm saying. If something like this is
to persist, like some of.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
Those same people, yeah, white people, Yeah, exactly, we're pissed
off at you when you're saying the Black National anthem,
not you.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
They were just mad that the Black National anthem.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Lift every boys and things.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, how do you feel about that? Backlass?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Well, first of all, how was that feeling the Super Bowl?
My god?
Speaker 3 (33:01):
That so first, okay, I'll deal with the feeling first.
You're right, Like, the feeling was just like, my god.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
When I tell y'all, so, here's the thing I these
are like it goes back to, like I said, standing
in your power. When you have a truth and an
understanding and you're willing to sacrifice for that, Like, it
can be scary because you lose things, people, opportunities. So
performing at the super Bowl for me was just such
a blessing. Was a full circle moment, terrifying, Like, oh
my god, y'all, Like at a certain point I was
(33:26):
so scared these was shaken. But I was like just
gonn numb.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Who called you to say, hey, we need you for
super Bowl?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Well it so Felicio. That's my manager, Felicia by the way,
So it was who called us?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Rage are amazing?
Speaker 4 (33:38):
By the way, Jesse yes, so like and so who
Jesse is just like amazing and being an incredible friend.
But I stopped singing the national anthem like years ago,
and I've been asked a lot to do it, you
know what I'm saying for different gangs, for different things,
and I just finally got to a point, you know,
especially after the Kaepernick stuff and all that, I was
just kind of like, you know, I don't want to
(33:59):
sing this again, you know what I'm saying in support
until I can sing this song in this arena, you
feel me like and and for me it was a
big deal because because I was like, I'm tired of
people acting like this, singing songs that represent other people.
You know, yeah, is divisive, and it's not because I
feel like it's the black national anthem, but it actually
speaks to unity, you know what I'm saying, and I
(34:22):
think opens people's eyes. And so it was really a
full circle moment because to get the call because when
she called me, she was like, they want you to
sing the anthem at the super Bowl and I can't
even go into I'd sing anthe da da da.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
They want you to sing that thery words and sing.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
I was like, even if it was the regular one,
you wasn't gonna sing as the Suer.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
Bowl so like, so the fact that it was that
that after all these years, I was able to do
it and to sing that song on the biggest stage
was so crazy. I was so so nervous, you know,
but I but I knew that like I'm aligned, like
I'm walking in purpose here and so and to deal with, like,
you know, the feeling of all the backlash from just
(34:59):
the anger whites you know, who didn't want me to
sing it. To be honest with you, it's funny because
I think y'all brought it up to me one time
and it was like, hey, you know, how do you feel.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
I honestly was not.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
Paying attention to it at all, you know what I mean.
And I'm not even saying that as like cap where
I'm just like to protect my people. I really didn't
know at first, you know what I mean. And then
once I found out, it was just like I don't care,
Like I really don't care. And I think that's the
thing like when you walk in purpose. Like I said,
it was like some people will be mad, you know
what I'm saying, And listen, they're not just mad about
(35:29):
the song being sung, you know what I mean. It's
just black people showing up in ourselves and as we
are and who we are in any arena. We don't
want you infiltrating our anything, our games, our shows, our culture,
our life. You know, but that's not a real representation
of like American life, you know.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
What I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
So for me, I think my perspective was a spiritual
perspective where I go and God's working on me on
this part. You know what I'm saying about loving everybody,
those white people, So that was my thing. I was like,
you know what, what I'm gonna choose to do is
love you the way I love everybody and just distance myself,
(36:10):
you know what I'm saying. Because the truth is, y'all
gonna be mad, you know what I'm saying anyway, And
the sad part is what you in sitting there angry.
You're actually going to miss the blessing of what this
moment could be, you know what I'm saying, Like, you're
gonna miss what this song is actually saying. You're gonna
miss what you can learn from these people struggle, you
know what I'm saying, and from their triumph, And so
more than anything, I.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Felt bad for them.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
You know what I'm saying. I was like, y'all, y'all
could stay over there. So I was just really like,
nothing was gonna stop me from doing this, you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
So nothing did.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Yeah, And I feel like the truth is people will
always find a reason to be mad. They will always
find a reason to be mad as long as they
have to share. But that's just time is going to
continue to turn over and those people will be phased out,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Right Well, the album Cassandra comes out May tenth, and
we appreciate you for joining us.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Thank you. Oh my god, I was really sit about this.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Thank you, Thank you so much. Ladies and gentlemen. It's
on today. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning, Wake that
ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
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