Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Everybody is the j n V. Jess Hilaris Charlamage the guy.
We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest
with us this morning. Yes, indeed, Sabrina Greenley. She has
a new book, Grant Me Vision, A Journey of family,
faith and forgiveness. And it's out right now.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Good morning, good morning, good morning. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
How are you good?
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I feel good. I feel amazing.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
There you go. Now.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
You are the the mother of DeAndre Hopkins and man A.
What a story you have with a journey. What a
life you have lived and still living.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Yes, absolutely, I'm still here now.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
For those who may not know, you were blind, but
you weren't born blind. You actually became blind after an
acid attack in two thousand and two.
Speaker 5 (00:50):
Yes, I was brutally assaulted in two thousand and two
by a young lady that, unbeknownst to me, we were
dating the same guy. And I was called to a
place by him one day and I went out there
looking for my car, and she came out called my name,
screamed my name Sabrina, and she threw a concoction of
(01:11):
bleach and mixed with red devil eyes. She threw it
on me. Seventeen percent of my body was burned that day.
I fell to my knees and he actually took me
to the gas station about three minutes away, but eventually
left me there to die. What Yeah, watch that was
I think that was the nearest, the closest thing that
(01:34):
he could find, but it was. It was just such
a terrifying moment for me. And if it had not
been for the gas attendant to, you know, call down
one one and get me help, I probably would have
died that day.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Jesus Lord, there's a man that you were dating, that
you thought loved you, liked you, and cared about you,
and just left you to die.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Yeah, yeah, DJMB. He literally was in my life for
three and a half months. So of course I didn't
know him per se, and we really didn't know each other.
But you couldn't tell me that that wasn't my man.
And but you know he was somebody else's man too.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
And you never had words with the woman that nothing.
You had no clue, no idea.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Had no idea she existed. I knew there was some
people existed, of course, you know they were red flags.
But I was in a place where I didn't know
my worth, I didn't know who I was, and so
I overlooked a lot of things.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
There were a lot of red flags, I mean, the
lives of the manipulation.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
It was super present in the relationship earlier on just
you know, saying he would be somewhere and he you know,
he wasn't there when I got there.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Oh well let me you know, well I'm here.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
And it was like, I remember one day, I was
like I went to three different places searching for this man.
And I look back now and I'm like, God, you know,
how how low was I to connect with somebody that
you know eventually would have a saying almost you know,
taking my life.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
The book is called Grant Me Vision. So in that
moment of finding out you were blind, what was going
through your head.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
That moment that?
Speaker 5 (03:05):
Of course, I was in a coma for a month,
and when I came out of the coma, I was
on a lot of medicines. I remember them telling me
that I would be on fifty different medicines for the
rest of my life. Thank got them, not on any
of them now, but just being blind and coming home
to my.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Four children, was really really tough.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
So even after I got the coma, I was addicted
to morphine, I was in therapy. It was a lot
of things that propelled me to get to the place
I am now, But just being blind. Think about that
coming home and you know, at thirty one years old,
I left the house twelve o'clock noonday, beautiful day, going
(03:47):
to find my car. And then a month later I
come back to the same house, the same children, and
you know, I had allowed all these men to kind
of come into our lives in and out, and here
it is. I'm just sitting there and it's just me
and them. Now what do we do? Putting the pieces
back together? And totally blind. So it was a lot
of healing that had to take place, and it was scary,
(04:09):
like I'm not gonna lie. It was terrifying because you
are blind and you can't feed your children. You don't know,
you know, It's like I was stepping into unforeseen circumstances
that we had never been in, and it was really tough.
And then not only that, but just to sit there,
so depression set in, anxiety. I was suicidal for about
(04:30):
three and a half years. I actually knew exactly how
I wanted to take my life. I had played this
out in my head many many times.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
How old were your kids at the time.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
My oldest was fourteen, Keisha was fourteen, Marcus was thirteen,
DeAndre was ten, and my baby was four years old.
So I left my baby girl in at the door
of that day, screaming and kicking for me. She wanted
her mom, and I was like, go in the house, I'll.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Be right back. I didn't come back over a month.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Who helped you during that time, because it's you know,
when you have family members and friends, it's easy to
help somebody for a week or two, but you needed
helpful a lot longer. So who was in your corner
during that time?
Speaker 5 (05:12):
I would say there was different people. My mother was there,
my father was there, people was coming in and out.
It was just not one person. You know how it is.
People bring the chicken and you know, and then when
the smoke clears, there's.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
No chicken and nothing.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
So there were a lot of days that my children
and I were were just there by ourselves and had
to fend for ourselves.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
To be honest.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
They had to grow fast.
Speaker 5 (05:34):
Had to grow up really really fast. See their mother
in the back room, super depressed, face swol I, you know, blind, and.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
They had to grow really fast.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
They had to figure out like how to get to activities.
They had to sometimes feed themselves. And as a mother,
that is the most depressing thing when you cannot do
for your children.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Tough physically, you know you went through something, but you
keep talking about the mental.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Aspect of it.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
How did you get out of that? Because like, how
did you get out of that mental space?
Speaker 5 (06:09):
There was one day where I was fully in suicidal mode.
I knew exactly how I wanted to do it, and
I acted it out. So there was the road was
about four houses up. I knew that if I made
it to this particular mailbox and I made it to
another one, I could count the mailboxes. So by the
(06:30):
time I got to the fourth mailbox, I wanted to
throw myself out in the road. When I heard a
car and DeAndre he just happened to wake up that
morning and he followed me.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I didn't know he was following me. He just put
his hands on my shoulder.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
As I was getting ready to literally go out in
front of this car or I thought, you know, if
I could hear the car, I could throw my body
out there and it just all be over. The pain
was excruciating, and we never talked about it for like
ten years later. In he put his hand on my shoulder.
He walked me back to the house. I went in
my bedroom, he went in his. We just shut the
(07:05):
door and it was one of those things where it
was just so strong that we didn't really want to
talk about it because it was hurtful. He knew what
I was going to do, and I think that was
the turning point for me. I was like, how dare
I leave these children? Because like the mental aspect was
just so hard, like the like just sitting there day
(07:27):
after day having people wait on you. I had people
to I had to people had to give me a bath,
people had to come in and feed me, and so
I was just tired of it all.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
That was my turning point mentally.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
Was like I got to get it together because if
not the I'm going to leave these children. And how
dare I, you know, leave here and leave them here
because if people are not coming in to help us, now,
just imagine what it's going to be like without me,
Lord have mercy.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
How did the conversations go with the kids, Like when
you first came home, did you explain to them what happened?
Were you embarrassed to tell them what happened? Did you
wait till they got older?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
So embarrassed? The shame?
Speaker 5 (08:05):
When you live with shame, it can literally manifest and
grow as big as you allow it. And so I
didn't talk to them at first. It was maybe about
four years three or four years later when I decided
to just get up and say, you know what, I
need to repair this family. I did this, and I
need to get up and just start the process. I
(08:27):
didn't know what that looked like, so I began to
start implementing curfews. I began to start screaming, shouting. Now
the woman you see, now that's all calm. I wasn't
like that then. I was full of anger and bitterness,
and so I was, you know, portraying that on too
my children. And I was cussing and fussing and you know,
doing the things like that. But I needed to instill
fear in them because I felt like if I didn't
(08:49):
do it, somebody was gonna do it.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I didn't want to lose them to the streets.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
I didn't want to lose them to you know, society,
and I was like, let me do something. And so
I began to start sending them down, attempting to repair
my family. And I called them in the room I
have in my memoir, I call it the get Right Room. Well,
I will take them in, bring them in one by
one and just talk to them. So they began to
(09:14):
tell me later, they was like, you know, I we'll
do anything.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Keep from going in there, sitting there talking.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
To Mama for two hours, because it's like this woman
is crazy, she don't care, she ain't got nothing else
to do, but you know, but pour into us. And
so it began that I couldn't go out. I wasn't.
I wasn't in a place where I wanted to go
out and people see my face or you know, these
small town you got the rumors and so but I
(09:40):
was like, what I can control is my house. You
will be in this house at a certain time. And
I just remember waking up one day and the boys
had did something of Marcus and Deandres.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
So I took all day.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
It took me hours, but I myself like hur and
all bandages and everything. I pull this big TV out
of the room. I took they stereo I took the
door off the hinges. I was like doing anything I
could to show them that, you know, when you do something,
there's consequences. I began to do that and it just
began to me sending them down, eventually all of them.
(10:14):
And I think what I remember the most Charlemagne is
that I would like, hey, I'm sorry. I need you
to tell me what you think, what in your mind
you think I did, because I want to sit here
and I want to hold myself accountable in front of
each one of you, and I want to say, you know,
I'm sorry. Now I may do something to hurt you again,
(10:38):
but it won't it won't be intentional. And this day forward,
I'm going to set, you know, set in my mind
to be a better mother because I have not been.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
And they needed to hear that. And so, you know,
at first they were like.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
No, you know, mama, you mama, you good. I was like, no, like,
we need to repair. In order to repair, we have
to start from the bottom up and begin the heal.
And I think it made a better person than me.
I began to start healing when I knew that my
children were okay, and just sitting them down and holding
at your other accountable.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
So you know, at first they was like, oh my,
this is some white people do we We're not doing this.
But I kept doing it. I kept doing it.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
I didn't want to lose them, and I wanted my
voice to be the voice that made a difference in
their lives. And I would tell them, I said, you're
going to continue your activities. And furthermore, what we're going
to do is you will not This will not be
an excuse for you not making it was. I was
really really strong about that.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
You know, it's interesting.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
I keep thinking about, you know, DeAndre stopping you when
you knew you wanted to complete suicide.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Like was that because he used to hear you talk
about it.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
I was just a divine moment where God just put
something on him to stop you, Like what made him
do that?
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Recently, we were in an interview and he said that
he just woke up.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
He said it was nothing but God that woke him up.
He went in my room.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
I wasn't there, and he said, I'm never not in
my room. He's like, something's not right. He went in
the kitchen and then he turned to the left and
the screen door.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
The door was open.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
He said, he said, Mama's always in this room, and
so it was nothing but God.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I gotta ask a question right reading the reading the
title of the book, last thing is forgiveness? Do you
forgive the individuals that were involved with taking your sight?
Speaker 5 (12:30):
DJ env I had no other choice but to forgive.
I have totally forgiven. I walk in forgiveness. I mean,
there's just no way that I could be this person
had I not forgiven. Now, when we talk about forgiveness,
you talk about the process of forgiveness.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Right, I'm sitting there and I'm.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
Mad, I'm pissed off, I'm angry, and how dare they
try to take my life knowing I had.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
These babies to feed.
Speaker 5 (12:55):
But what I did was I began to humanize her
and look at her as somebody that you like, there's
no way you could do that if you're not broken
and like something's wrong. And so what I did was
I began to humanize her. I began to say her name,
eventually out loud. I began to pray for her. Now
that was really hard. And I have this in the
(13:17):
memoir where I say, you know at first, Like the
first thing I said was something like, you know, I'm
just gonna pray for her. I pray that God, I
pray that you bless her and everything that she touches
turns to gold. That was all I could mutter right
at first, and then my prayer got stronger. I began
to just pray for her. I knew that day in
the courtroom that her son was the same age as
(13:41):
my son. So you think about she got a twenty
year prison sentence, She's done eighteen years of that. She's
you know, she's been out for a couple of years now.
And just to answer your question, I knew that I
had to continue that process of forgiving her.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
I didn't know what that looked like.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Took some time, but I thank God that I did
do that because I have forgiven him and her and
whatever involvement that he may or may not had in
that attack. I had to put them together and completely
forgive him and her.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Did he get jail time as well?
Speaker 5 (14:15):
So he did eventually get a year jail time and
one year probation, and it wasn't it had nothing to
do with that. There was a three day jury trial
and she was convicted of twenty years, but he continued
to stalk me and harass me, and he got a
year prison center, a year jail time in a year
(14:36):
of probation for continue to harass and stalk me a
year later.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So he didn't even though he drove you to the
gas station and left you for dead, there was no crime.
He didn't get He didn't get convicted of anything of that.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
It was one of those things where we had to
pick our poison.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
Gotcha, And so of course all of the animosity and
frustration leaned towards her because she did the heinous act,
and so we had to do that. He actually came
in every day of the trial and testified against her,
but then turned around and started harassing me, saying that
you took my girlfriend, you took the person I love.
(15:13):
I love both of y'all.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yes, I can't make this up.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Right, Yeah, I cannot, right, And so he So the
last straw for that situation was he literally called me
while I had three police officers standing in my home,
and they said, you know, they called his name, and
they said, repeat yourself. You know you have three police
(15:36):
officers stand here. His exact words, I don't care, I'm
gonna kill the bitch.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
And they went and picked him up and that's when
he served a year. A lot of people don't know that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
You know, it's crazy now, you know, you forget one
more questions. You said you forgave her, and you said
you were able to say her name and pray for her.
Has she reached out since then to apologize or have
you had a conversation or anything like that?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
In the courtroom that day, she had the choice to
speak to me, and she chose not to speak to me.
And in the three years that she has been out,
she chose to go to a blogger by the name
of Tasha Ka and speak out against me. Wow, Yeah,
(16:21):
in what way saying that it didn't happen the way
that that that the court records, the receipts and everything.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
She's saying it didn't happen that way. I was. I
was stalking her.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
I was jealous of her and the relationship with him,
a lot of things that she spoke out about. Yeah,
but I chose not to listen to it. Of course,
I'm very careful about what enters, you know, into my mind.
And I'm like, you know, I'm in a place now
where you know, I woke up that day when I
(16:53):
found out she was getting out of prison, and I said, okay,
I've been talking to talk. Now it's time to walk
the walk, you know, And so I just refuse to
allow anything negative to come into my mindset. However, it
was kind of hurtful because it's like art, Yeah, yeah,
you're still stuck clearly, and you know, if you did
(17:16):
eighteen years, at some point, you know, reality says sin
to where I need to take accountability for my actions,
and that still hasn't happened. But she's not my assignment,
and so I chose not to entertain it.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
You have a chapter in the book called Justice, Chapter seventeen,
and you know, you talk about what happened as far
as him getting sentenced, But does hurtting sentences the twenty
years did that feel like justice to you?
Speaker 5 (17:42):
No?
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Not at all? Okay, not at all.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
What would you have wanted to happen? What would be
justice to you?
Speaker 5 (17:48):
I had to come to grips with the twenty year
prison sentence, But of course attempted murder should have been
the charge instead of assaulting Boddy with intent to kill,
And yeah, that would have been That would have been better. However,
I feel like I feel like even though all of
(18:10):
that happened. I'm just not mad at it anymore, because
eighteen years is a long time to be without your child.
I was with my children every single day, right, I
got a chance to instill some values in them that
they still have to this day. I eventually got all
four of my children into college. So when I look
back twenty years and you did eighteen years compared to
(18:33):
me being with my children, I'm not mad at the
sentence now. I was angry then, but I'm not mad
at it now.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Did he give you any peace? All closure?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh gosh?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
The three day trial was about a year after the attack,
and so I had probably not left my room for
a whole year. And I got up and I went
to the three day trial. After that, you know, I
was waiting on the light switch to come on, to
be like, okay, you know I got justice.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Is good.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
It didn't really happen like that. I was still severely depressed,
but eventually it sunk in that this woman is in
prison and there is some justice, and justice did prevail.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Now, you mentioned your assignment. You said that wasn't your assignment.
What do you feel your assignment is my assignment?
Speaker 5 (19:18):
I know without a doubt is to let people know
everything that I went through and everything that they go through,
there is light on the other side. I wake up
now and I'm more happy than ever because before you know,
the Sabrina Greenley was you know, oh you're cute, you know,
(19:40):
you light skin, you pretty or whatever, but.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
My insides was screaming for help.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
And I really want people to know that when you
take the time to put the work in to get
the mental help, canceling and the therapy, and no matter what,
it is very important that you understand your worth and
who you are. And so when you began to do that,
oh god, it's amazing on the other side. So all
(20:08):
that pain and all that misery that people are still
you know, stuck in, when you can just make up
your mind and make the choice to say, you know what,
I don't want to be here anymore, whether you're an
abusive relationship or it's just family members, because people or
people can people be peopling.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
But when you.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
And what when I tell you, Charlie, you don't understand
and it never stops right. So it takes it takes
a bigger person to say, you know what, let me
handle this differently. Let me have the tools and the
takeaways like I put in grant me vision. I talk
about things, but at the end of every chapter, I'm like,
(20:48):
I had to write this memoir with the takeaways of
people understanding, like how I began to forgive. You can
just say I don't want to be one of people
to say you better forgive.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
No, let me tell you what.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
I've done for this Sabrianda Greenley today, to be out
here talking to women and ushering them into their process
of forgiveness and being that woman to say, you know what,
look at me, look at my life, look at my testimony.
I didn't stay there, and this is how you this
is how you not stay down.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Do you think it was a complexion thing that she
did it because you were the light skinned girl. And
the reason I ask, and I just want to say,
I you know, your strength is like no other. And
the reason I say that is my wife, who I've
been together with for thirty years. She was cutting the
face right when she was younger because she was a
lighter skinned. She had fifty stitches on her face, seventy
(21:41):
two stitches on her leg. They try to slice her up.
And when I sit back and I try to think
about how would I feel and how it would be
it would have broke me, the fact that you know,
it's your face, and how it made her stronger, and
how I'm looking at this and how it made you stronger.
And I'm just like the strength that you have. But
I was just wondering, do you feel like it was
your complexion that that did it? It was that jealousy because
(22:04):
back in the day, it used to be this whole thing,
light skin, brown skinned, dog skin thing, and it was
like a whole thing, and I felt like it divided
a lot of us just being black. Do you feel
like that was part of it? I am black, I'm
one hundred percent black.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Don't let him.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Dj nvy. I was bad back in the day. Now,
I mean, I'm not had bad now, but.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
But I was saying, come on now, what I'm saying
is I was I was fine as wine back in
the day. But so, of course it had something to
do with I mean, jealousy, I think, but now light skin.
From what I'm told, she's light skin too, Okay, So
I don't know if that played a part in it,
but definitely jealousy. I had just purchased a brand new lexus.
(22:44):
You know, I had the guy I was I was
at I was dancing at a strip club, and so yeah,
I was, well, excuse me.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
I'm sorry, you just talking about niggas.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
He went right back in the nigga.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
My stripper name was It's It's I Am. It was Caramel,
And I have a chapter in Grant Me Vision called Caramel.
You have to go to a Caramel chapter. I put
you in the strip club. I literally walk you in.
I put you in there. The upst the downs, the
house and lows of what a little black girl from
(23:25):
central South Carolina, you know, growing up and have went
through a lot of things that I won't tell you know,
I won't tell you too much, but how I got
to be in the strip club and the things that
happened while.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I'm there in South Carolina is a different breed.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Yes, So back then, we wasn't we wasn't making it rain.
We was doing the r Kelly song in the in
the movie. You know it was it was slow motion.
Everything was like sensual and sexual.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Back then. Now people it's it's like the whole it's
a lot. They work for it. Now. I didn't have
to work for it.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
Back then, Yes, chapter eighteen sort of blind eyes can't see,
And the book is called Grant Me Vision?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
When did God give you the vision?
Speaker 5 (24:15):
God gave me the vision when honestly, he gave me
the vision when I was most suicidal. He gave me
because what I used to pray for all the time.
I used to say, God, give me vision, give me vision.
And I went through this roller coaster ride of getting
all of these Donor up Cornia transplants, and then one
(24:38):
would fail and then I get another one. So over
time it was like I was getting I've had over
thirty forty surgeries on my eyes trying to get my
vision back. But in that moment I used to just say,
you know, God, you know, give me vision. I just
want vision. Didn't And I think back now, I was like,
why was I asking for sight?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Like give me vision?
Speaker 5 (24:58):
And it was as though he was there with me
all along. I have to give him the credit for that.
But I feel like mostly as I'm coming out, transitioning
out of all the drama and the depression, I was
reminded that I'm going to give you what you asked for.
(25:19):
And so when that doctor when I said in Miami
with a really good friend of mine by the name
of Humble, and that doctor told me Humble, and he
told me, he says, you know, this is it, my
second my second opinion.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
They told me that you'll never see again. This is it.
Your retinance has detached. You fought a good fight.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
Everything that you know I worked for over the years
is gone, all the surgeries, this is I'm at the
last strow. And I realized in that moment that I
can't be mad because God granted me my vision. He
granted me vision, and this is something I don't know
how once again, you know, it's like I always have
(26:02):
this thing. I say, Okay, here we go it. What's next?
And you know, so this is next. I'm gonna be
blind for the rest of my life. But what am
I gonna do with this? And so the vision that
I have now, I feel like no one can not
feel like I know that no one can take away
from me.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
And how can I.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
Be angry or mad when God granted me exactly what
I asked for. I would rather have the vision I
have now going out speaking and talking to women and
showing them what the other side of death looks like.
He granted me vision and the vision I have is amazing.
I mean I literally wake up every day and I'm full.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Of joy and I'm happy.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
And of course, let's be honest, I would rather have sight.
I mean, who doesn't want to see, you know, and
it be taken at the hands of someone else. But
this is what I have, and this is what this
is what I have to work with, and I'm going
to continue working getting until I can't work it anymore.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
What what other senses got stronger?
Speaker 5 (27:10):
You know? They my children, so I can hear really good.
I think that was it, I think, but also too
just being alert and being aware of things, like things
that surround me. I'm hyper alert on everything around me,
so I think all of them may have enhanced.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
You know what's funny about kids. You know, I got
four daughters. It's not that your hearing gets better when
you're a parent. It's just that when they get quiet,
you know they're probably doing something, so that's when you
just screamed for them. Exactly hearing.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
No, it's what I don't hear is when I'm like,
what's y'all in there?
Speaker 5 (27:48):
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
There?
Speaker 4 (27:49):
You go?
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Now, I think everything got enhanced.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Now after every touchdown you know, DeAndre gives you, you know,
the football. Talk to us about that energy in the
bond you feel when that happens, Like what does that
mean for you?
Speaker 5 (28:03):
It's amazing because of course I can't see. And so
the very first initial time that he brought me the ball,
I was like, I was like, he coming, where he's coming,
where he's doing what?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
And he he held you.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
Know, he handed me the ball, and it was just
the way that he gave it to me, like he
squeezed my hands and he was like, Mama, I love you,
and I'm holding back tears because I'm like, man, you know,
it just signified everything that we went through, all of
the things that we went through that nobody will understand
that when that went on under one roof with me
(28:38):
and these four children, and it's amazing, Like I wouldn't
trade it for the world. And so now of course
he's you know, he's on his third team and I
can't always be in the end zone to him get
me the ball, but he makes sure I still get
my balls.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
He makes sure's that whole room of football.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
Some are deflated, some are it's like like, you know,
he's in his twelfth season, but I still have those balls,
and I think over time, you know, we give them
some of the family members and things like that, but.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I have the majority.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You're from Clemson too.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
We are from Clemson, South Carolina. No, not from Clemson. No,
not from Clemson. It only started when we were in Houston.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
So but no, I'm from Clemson, South Carolina, proud bleed Orange.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, South Carolina. Let's go.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Now.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
You have a chapter called ending Generational Curses. What was
some generational curses that you felt you needed to break?
Speaker 5 (29:39):
The biggest one, the most relevant one was keeping secrets.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Man.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
We were notorious for keeping secrets, and so I think
what what stands out the most was when my brother
passed away. He got shot by the police in ninety seven.
He was in a domestic violence, a dispute himself. Three
or four officers come in open fire on him and
killing him instantly. And I never forget. My father went
(30:08):
down there to the room that he was staying in
and there was a tape recorder and he came back.
He grabbed the tape recorder and his rings that he
had got from Clemson because he was a very prominent
football player Clemson, and he shoves this tape record in
my hand, and he says, I don't ever want to
you know, I don't ever want to see this MF
thing again. And I'm like, god, you know, I'm twenty something.
(30:30):
I was like, what do I do?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Well?
Speaker 5 (30:32):
I keep it, and I keep it for many many years,
and eventually I give it to his daughter, who grew
up to be a prominent lawyer in Atlanta. But that
was my way of saying, you know what, like I
want this out and even talking about it now. I
only spoke about it, you know now. And my father
(30:52):
had no idea, right I was writing a book, and
I was like, like, this can't we can't keep this anymore,
like this is this, this is gonna infest us forever
if I don't talk about this. And so I think
that was one of the things I put in the chapter.
I was like, you know what, talking about this tape
recorder and what he left. I don't want to keep
secrets anymore. So that was my That was I think
(31:14):
that was the most prominent thing that I could talk about,
was breaking generations and the curses.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
And there were many more. I mean, we were in.
Speaker 5 (31:19):
A house like you know, you you don't talk about
things and even talk I was. I was raped and
molested at the age of ten, and I was told,
you're not going to mess up his family. Go somewhere
and set your fast ass down. We're not gonna talk
about this.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
That I was. I was.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
I was raped by a reverend. Yeah, a reverend, A
family member.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
He was.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
He was a family member.
Speaker 5 (31:43):
And so like, just exposing those things now, it puts
you on a vulnerable state. However, there are somebody that's
going through these things now that needs to know. You
know that they need to be talked about. They need
to be brought to the surface, because that's the only
way that you're going to heal.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Believe you when it happened, Did they believe you?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
And not at all? Not at all. My mother and
my grandmother, they totally did not believe me.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
How did that change your relationship with them if it
did at all?
Speaker 5 (32:09):
Well, I learned early on that I couldn't trust people.
And then you know, and I talk about that in
the book. There's a there's a place where I mentioned
that ten year that ten year old little girl died
that day and she was like angry and mad, and
then when she awakened, you know she was present in
every relationship because she was She was the one that
(32:33):
was fighting and cussing and mad and angry, right she
and she had a lot to do with how I
parented my children and the decisions that I made, And
so it's just it was one of those things where
I had to really get a grip on and understand
that man, like, this kid is hurting.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
But why, you.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
Know, because we were offended, we were hurt, we know,
you know, she was molested. All of these things were
present in my life the entire time.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
What I would never understand about stories like that is
you know, when you go to your mother and you
tell her what happened, and the mother says, hey, don't
say anything because I don't want you to mess up
his family. So there is some type of protectiveness there
that she has. But why don't they have that? Why
didn't you have that for you? Why was she protecting
him as opposed to you?
Speaker 5 (33:20):
I think now looking back, Charlemagne, my mom nor my
grandmother had the tools to understand what was going on,
and you have to think this probably happened to them
at some point. I didn't understand that then, Like, why
wouldn't they protect me, and why wouldn't why wouldn't they
believe me? And so it just began a whole whirlwind
(33:41):
of me manipulating, deceiving and lies, and man, I learned
how to lie and just I was going to get
you before you got me, and I didn't care who
you were. I took that throughout my entire life, just
about and not understanding, and I began to not trust
anybody at that point. But I still honor them, believe
it or not. My grandmama will steal my grandmama, my
(34:04):
mam will still my mama. I didn't understand it, but
I love them.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
I saw you say that the woman you are today,
if you had to do it all over again, you
wouldn't change a.
Speaker 5 (34:13):
Thing now, one single thing really now, one single thing.
And people when I say that, they're like, what do
you mean? You are blind? Like you wasn't born by
But I take all of that, And if you take
all of that and you mix it up, how could
I be this woman today, be able to talk, be
able to speak out so bravely, so boldly, if I
(34:36):
had not went through every single thing? So how can
I be mad at that? And also too, when you
purposefully make up your mind that you are going to
heal and you are going to deal with depression and anxiety,
and you're going to wake up whole. Then I have
no other choice but to understand that all of that
(34:56):
had to happen for a reason. Every single moment, every
single surgery, every single moment of pain, it had to happen.
And I wouldn't change not one single thing.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
You know what. I know, I only got a few
more questions.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
But you know, traumas are real, and triggers are real,
and when you're writing a book, you know, and you're
having to relive a lot of these things that can
trigger you. But also you know the young woman coming
home doing interviews that could trigger you as well.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Have you been triggered by.
Speaker 5 (35:27):
An Absolutely all of this happened while I'm trying to
write the book, Lord, So she gets out while I'm
writing it.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
She speaks out while I'm writing it, and I'm triggered.
Speaker 5 (35:38):
So they tell you, when you're writing a book, Charlamagne,
you may, you may can attest to this. It's like,
when you unraveling all these emotions, you need to float
in water.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
You need to get counseling. I was trying everything.
Speaker 5 (35:52):
I was floating every night and nothing was working because
you know, mentally, I was having to relive all of this.
But I think just sitting down with my ghostwriter and saying,
you know what, I'm gonna get it out. It has
to get out, I'm going to be because think about it, like,
if I don't get this out, my brothers and I
here to tell their story. My fiance that I was
(36:12):
in the car wreck with that died eight days later,
Deandre's father. If this is it's up to me to
tell these stories? So how dare I allow them? It
doesn't matter what they say. I was like, I'm not
gonna let them win on this one.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Now, you can't. You can't take nothing else.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
How do you prevent yourself from writing a dish record?
Speaker 5 (36:29):
Though?
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Like, oh, it's coming, is it? If I could wrap it?
Will I can't rap envy?
Speaker 4 (36:41):
But making sure that.
Speaker 5 (36:44):
My daughter told me yesterday she said, Mama, I'm waiting
on book two. I was like, really, it took me
three or four years to do this, but no, I
feel like I feel like I have to. I want
to keep talking talking about it. I want to keep
telling my story every day, like even I wanted to
make sure that in my memoir that people know I'm
(37:07):
still struggling. I'm still going through. It's no perfect days
for somebody being blind, but I'm doing it. I want
people to know that I'm doing it. And so yeah,
I want to keep I just want to keep that going,
that energy.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Now I want to talk about you your nonprofit Smooth,
tell people about that and how they can jump into
that and help you out with that and maybe support.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
Absolutely, So, I have a nonprofit. We advocate against domestic violence.
I'm in three states and we really are out here
helping women. I have so many stories where we go
out and literally take women from shelters, organizations, agencies, and
when they decide to go into their own dwelling, we
(37:51):
provide them with financial literacy, household supplies. We do it
all and I am hands on every single case. I'm
right there. And so Smooth stands for speaking mentally, outwardly,
opening opportunities. That's with three olds, and they can go
to smoothink dot org. That's with three olds, and every
(38:12):
single thing that people contribute goes into these women. I really, really,
really can it stress enough that my organization is built
and It thrives on helping these women who have been abused,
and not only abused, but have been traumatized. It doesn't matter,
(38:33):
and it's not just domestic violence. We help all women
in different fastest self abuse.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
When do you think twopat question? Were you hard on
your daughters?
Speaker 3 (38:44):
I was hard on all my children. I was a
disciplinarian and I didn't play.
Speaker 5 (38:49):
Now I have eight grand babies, I'm a little softer now,
but I was super hard on my children. And sitting
in the house, like just sitting there watching life happened
and things go by. I knew that, like I said,
I had to have a voice. I had to have
them fear somebody. And I have this thing. You know,
I'm from the old school. I'm like, you know, you
(39:10):
either you either listen to me or you don't listen
to the white man.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
You're gonna listen. You listen to somebody.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
People don't understand about that thing. You're gonna listen to somebody, right,
And so, like I said, I just became a disciplinarian
and it actually paid off because, like I said, I
was able to get all them in college and the
proudest moments of my life was of dropping those kids
off in those dormitaries dormitories and coming back home and
just just giving them a chance at life, a chance
(39:38):
that I didn't have.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Very important.
Speaker 4 (39:40):
The other part of that question is my daddy would
always always felt like my daddy raised me out of
fear and not love. When did you start raising the
kids with love and not with fear?
Speaker 5 (39:51):
When they started rebelling and telling me about myself and
just being like, Mama, you like you know, my boys
they were in eleventh and twelfth grade, I still had
them coming home at ten o'clock and they were like, Mama,
enough is enough. Man. And not only that, but just
like literally telling me about myself. Sometimes you have to listen.
(40:12):
I had the mother do as I say, not as
I do. I didn't want to be that mother. I
wanted to, but I also didn't want to just be
your friend. And I think that me just looking at
myself and saying, you know what, man like, let me
let me give them some grace because they're not gonna
do what I did.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
You know, these are some good children.
Speaker 5 (40:32):
I had to trust that what I instilled, you know,
now it is time to allow them to grow and flourish.
But it took some time because I was scared. I
remember my daughter telling me a few years ago, she said, Mamma,
you wouldn't let me go anywhere. You wouldn't let me
do anything.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
And I told her, I said, I apologized. I didn't
want my story to be your.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Story, right right. Last question.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
Your book ends with a poem from Deandre's celebrating you
know your twenty years called the screen for my mom.
How did you feel the first time you heard those words?
Speaker 1 (41:02):
He wrote.
Speaker 5 (41:03):
I was sitting there at my twenty year life celebration,
and this is twenty years of everything I went through,
the struggles and everything, and I'm sitting there with everybody
that I love, and everybody had flew in and I
was just feeling amazing. Had no idea that he wrote
this poem. He gets up there. Each one of my
children got up and says something. But he gets up
(41:24):
there and he says this poem and I'm all tears.
I'm just boohoo crying because I'm like and he says
that he told me later that he made it up
on the way there, just on the plane.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
He just came from his heart.
Speaker 5 (41:39):
I had to put that in the memoir because it
was so significant to just let people know that what
you pour into your children, he eventually will get back
one day. And that is a poem, and that speaks
so highly of me and everything that we went through.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
Yeah, it was amazing.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
What's the message you want people to get from this book?
Especially women?
Speaker 5 (42:04):
I want women to know that there is a place
for us. And I say us because I'm still in
the fight with you. However, when you make up your
mind to really forgive and acknowledge everything that you've done,
take accountability. I think it's very important that when we
stop pointing fingers, and when we stop blaming other people
(42:27):
and just sit down, sit in silence with yourself. When
you began to just sit in silence, look at yourself,
whether it's in the mirror, whether you realize what you've
done with your children, the abusive relationship that you're in,
when you began to take your power back baby. On
the other side of that, you could scream and scream
as loud as you want. There is no more suffering
in silence, and so I feel like Grant Me Vision
(42:49):
portrays all of that. The upst the downs, The journey
of a young Black girl who didn't know who she
was going through all of this. But I am you,
You are me, and like I said, on the other
side of that is happiness is joy. And I feel
like when you can just understand that when you make
(43:10):
the choice, no one can make that choice for you.
But there is so much happiness on the other side
of that pain. And I want everybody to go get
grant me Vision because I want you to just see
my journey. It wasn't always you know, like this, but
I want you to just really go go grab grant
me Vision today and really really dive into it. There
(43:31):
are so many takeaway, so many tools in there, and
I want you to just follow my journey and see
how I navigate through life.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
Man, what a testimony you got, Sabrina. And I'll tell
you something. You know how to promote a book?
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (43:42):
If you ever listen to somebody promote a book when
they do an interview, if they keep representing the book,
they know what they're doing, right.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
Okay, Come on, grant me Vision out today. Wherever books
are sold.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
To follow you?
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Too many Faith and forgive Us is out now? How
can they follow you?
Speaker 1 (44:00):
So?
Speaker 5 (44:00):
I'm always on Instagram Sabrina Greenley twelve. You can go
and I'm cooking, I'm dancing, I'm doing any and everything
itself for driving Sabrina Greenley twelve on Instagram and again
you can go to my website smooth.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
That's where three o's ink dot org.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
All right, well it's Sabrina Greenley. It's the Breakfast Club.
Good morning, thank you.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Wake that ass up Earth in the morning for Breakfast Club.
Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Everybody is the j n V. Jess Hilaris Charlamage the guy.
We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest
with us this morning. Yes, indeed, Sabrina Greenley. She has
a new book, Grant Me Vision, A Journey of family,
faith and forgiveness. And it's out right now.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Good morning, good morning, good morning. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
How are you good?
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I feel good. I feel amazing.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
There you go. Now.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
You are the the mother of DeAndre Hopkins and man A.
What a story you have with a journey. What a
life you have lived and still living.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Yes, absolutely, I'm still here now.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
For those who may not know, you were blind, but
you weren't born blind. You actually became blind after an
acid attack in two thousand and two.
Speaker 5 (00:50):
Yes, I was brutally assaulted in two thousand and two
by a young lady that, unbeknownst to me, we were
dating the same guy. And I was called to a
place by him one day and I went out there
looking for my car, and she came out called my name,
screamed my name Sabrina, and she threw a concoction of
(01:11):
bleach and mixed with red devil eyes. She threw it
on me. Seventeen percent of my body was burned that day.
I fell to my knees and he actually took me
to the gas station about three minutes away, but eventually
left me there to die. What Yeah, watch that was
I think that was the nearest, the closest thing that
(01:34):
he could find, but it was. It was just such
a terrifying moment for me. And if it had not
been for the gas attendant to, you know, call down
one one and get me help, I probably would have
died that day.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Jesus Lord, there's a man that you were dating, that
you thought loved you, liked you, and cared about you,
and just left you to die.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Yeah, yeah, DJMB. He literally was in my life for
three and a half months. So of course I didn't
know him per se, and we really didn't know each other.
But you couldn't tell me that that wasn't my man.
And but you know he was somebody else's man too.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
And you never had words with the woman that nothing.
You had no clue, no idea.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Had no idea she existed. I knew there was some
people existed, of course, you know they were red flags.
But I was in a place where I didn't know
my worth, I didn't know who I was, and so
I overlooked a lot of things.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
There were a lot of red flags, I mean, the
lives of the manipulation.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
It was super present in the relationship earlier on just
you know, saying he would be somewhere and he you know,
he wasn't there when I got there.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Oh well let me you know, well I'm here.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
And it was like, I remember one day, I was
like I went to three different places searching for this man.
And I look back now and I'm like, God, you know,
how how low was I to connect with somebody that
you know eventually would have a saying almost you know,
taking my life.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
The book is called Grant Me Vision. So in that
moment of finding out you were blind, what was going
through your head.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
That moment that?
Speaker 5 (03:05):
Of course, I was in a coma for a month,
and when I came out of the coma, I was
on a lot of medicines. I remember them telling me
that I would be on fifty different medicines for the
rest of my life. Thank got them, not on any
of them now, but just being blind and coming home
to my.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Four children, was really really tough.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
So even after I got the coma, I was addicted
to morphine, I was in therapy. It was a lot
of things that propelled me to get to the place
I am now, But just being blind. Think about that
coming home and you know, at thirty one years old,
I left the house twelve o'clock noonday, beautiful day, going
(03:47):
to find my car. And then a month later I
come back to the same house, the same children, and
you know, I had allowed all these men to kind
of come into our lives in and out, and here
it is. I'm just sitting there and it's just me
and them. Now what do we do? Putting the pieces
back together? And totally blind. So it was a lot
of healing that had to take place, and it was scary,
(04:09):
like I'm not gonna lie. It was terrifying because you
are blind and you can't feed your children. You don't know,
you know, It's like I was stepping into unforeseen circumstances
that we had never been in, and it was really tough.
And then not only that, but just to sit there,
so depression set in, anxiety. I was suicidal for about
(04:30):
three and a half years. I actually knew exactly how
I wanted to take my life. I had played this
out in my head many many times.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
How old were your kids at the time.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
My oldest was fourteen, Keisha was fourteen, Marcus was thirteen,
DeAndre was ten, and my baby was four years old.
So I left my baby girl in at the door
of that day, screaming and kicking for me. She wanted
her mom, and I was like, go in the house, I'll.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Be right back. I didn't come back over a month.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Who helped you during that time, because it's you know,
when you have family members and friends, it's easy to
help somebody for a week or two, but you needed
helpful a lot longer. So who was in your corner
during that time?
Speaker 5 (05:12):
I would say there was different people. My mother was there,
my father was there, people was coming in and out.
It was just not one person. You know how it is.
People bring the chicken and you know, and then when
the smoke clears, there's.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
No chicken and nothing.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
So there were a lot of days that my children
and I were were just there by ourselves and had
to fend for ourselves.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
To be honest.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
They had to grow fast.
Speaker 5 (05:34):
Had to grow up really really fast. See their mother
in the back room, super depressed, face swol I, you know, blind, and.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
They had to grow really fast.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
They had to figure out like how to get to activities.
They had to sometimes feed themselves. And as a mother,
that is the most depressing thing when you cannot do
for your children.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Tough physically, you know you went through something, but you
keep talking about the mental.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Aspect of it.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
How did you get out of that? Because like, how
did you get out of that mental space?
Speaker 5 (06:09):
There was one day where I was fully in suicidal mode.
I knew exactly how I wanted to do it, and
I acted it out. So there was the road was
about four houses up. I knew that if I made
it to this particular mailbox and I made it to
another one, I could count the mailboxes. So by the
(06:30):
time I got to the fourth mailbox, I wanted to
throw myself out in the road. When I heard a
car and DeAndre he just happened to wake up that
morning and he followed me.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
I didn't know he was following me. He just put
his hands on my shoulder.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
As I was getting ready to literally go out in
front of this car or I thought, you know, if
I could hear the car, I could throw my body
out there and it just all be over. The pain
was excruciating, and we never talked about it for like
ten years later. In he put his hand on my shoulder.
He walked me back to the house. I went in
my bedroom, he went in his. We just shut the
(07:05):
door and it was one of those things where it
was just so strong that we didn't really want to
talk about it because it was hurtful. He knew what
I was going to do, and I think that was
the turning point for me. I was like, how dare
I leave these children? Because like the mental aspect was
just so hard, like the like just sitting there day
(07:27):
after day having people wait on you. I had people
to I had to people had to give me a bath,
people had to come in and feed me, and so
I was just tired of it all.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
That was my turning point mentally.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
Was like I got to get it together because if
not the I'm going to leave these children. And how
dare I, you know, leave here and leave them here
because if people are not coming in to help us, now,
just imagine what it's going to be like without me,
Lord have mercy.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
How did the conversations go with the kids, Like when
you first came home, did you explain to them what happened?
Were you embarrassed to tell them what happened? Did you
wait till they got older?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
So embarrassed? The shame?
Speaker 5 (08:05):
When you live with shame, it can literally manifest and
grow as big as you allow it. And so I
didn't talk to them at first. It was maybe about
four years three or four years later when I decided
to just get up and say, you know what, I
need to repair this family. I did this, and I
need to get up and just start the process. I
(08:27):
didn't know what that looked like, so I began to
start implementing curfews. I began to start screaming, shouting. Now
the woman you see, now that's all calm. I wasn't
like that then. I was full of anger and bitterness,
and so I was, you know, portraying that on too
my children. And I was cussing and fussing and you know,
doing the things like that. But I needed to instill
fear in them because I felt like if I didn't
(08:49):
do it, somebody was gonna do it.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I didn't want to lose them to the streets.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
I didn't want to lose them to you know, society,
and I was like, let me do something. And so
I began to start sending them down, attempting to repair
my family. And I called them in the room I
have in my memoir, I call it the get Right Room. Well,
I will take them in, bring them in one by
one and just talk to them. So they began to
(09:14):
tell me later, they was like, you know, I we'll
do anything.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Keep from going in there, sitting there talking.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
To Mama for two hours, because it's like this woman
is crazy, she don't care, she ain't got nothing else
to do, but you know, but pour into us. And
so it began that I couldn't go out. I wasn't.
I wasn't in a place where I wanted to go
out and people see my face or you know, these
small town you got the rumors and so but I
(09:40):
was like, what I can control is my house. You
will be in this house at a certain time. And
I just remember waking up one day and the boys
had did something of Marcus and Deandres.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
So I took all day.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
It took me hours, but I myself like hur and
all bandages and everything. I pull this big TV out
of the room. I took they stereo I took the
door off the hinges. I was like doing anything I
could to show them that, you know, when you do something,
there's consequences. I began to do that and it just
began to me sending them down, eventually all of them.
(10:14):
And I think what I remember the most Charlemagne is
that I would like, hey, I'm sorry. I need you
to tell me what you think, what in your mind
you think I did, because I want to sit here
and I want to hold myself accountable in front of
each one of you, and I want to say, you know,
I'm sorry. Now I may do something to hurt you again,
(10:38):
but it won't it won't be intentional. And this day forward,
I'm going to set, you know, set in my mind
to be a better mother because I have not been.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
And they needed to hear that. And so, you know,
at first they were like.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
No, you know, mama, you mama, you good. I was like, no, like,
we need to repair. In order to repair, we have
to start from the bottom up and begin the heal.
And I think it made a better person than me.
I began to start healing when I knew that my
children were okay, and just sitting them down and holding
at your other accountable.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
So you know, at first they was like, oh my,
this is some white people do we We're not doing this.
But I kept doing it. I kept doing it.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
I didn't want to lose them, and I wanted my
voice to be the voice that made a difference in
their lives. And I would tell them, I said, you're
going to continue your activities. And furthermore, what we're going
to do is you will not This will not be
an excuse for you not making it was. I was
really really strong about that.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
You know, it's interesting.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
I keep thinking about, you know, DeAndre stopping you when
you knew you wanted to complete suicide.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Like was that because he used to hear you talk
about it.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
I was just a divine moment where God just put
something on him to stop you, Like what made him
do that?
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Recently, we were in an interview and he said that
he just woke up.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
He said it was nothing but God that woke him up.
He went in my room.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
I wasn't there, and he said, I'm never not in
my room. He's like, something's not right. He went in
the kitchen and then he turned to the left and
the screen door.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
The door was open.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
He said, he said, Mama's always in this room, and
so it was nothing but God.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I gotta ask a question right reading the reading the
title of the book, last thing is forgiveness? Do you
forgive the individuals that were involved with taking your sight?
Speaker 5 (12:30):
DJ env I had no other choice but to forgive.
I have totally forgiven. I walk in forgiveness. I mean,
there's just no way that I could be this person
had I not forgiven. Now, when we talk about forgiveness,
you talk about the process of forgiveness.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Right, I'm sitting there and I'm.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
Mad, I'm pissed off, I'm angry, and how dare they
try to take my life knowing I had.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
These babies to feed.
Speaker 5 (12:55):
But what I did was I began to humanize her
and look at her as somebody that you like, there's
no way you could do that if you're not broken
and like something's wrong. And so what I did was
I began to humanize her. I began to say her name,
eventually out loud. I began to pray for her. Now
that was really hard. And I have this in the
(13:17):
memoir where I say, you know at first, Like the
first thing I said was something like, you know, I'm
just gonna pray for her. I pray that God, I
pray that you bless her and everything that she touches
turns to gold. That was all I could mutter right
at first, and then my prayer got stronger. I began
to just pray for her. I knew that day in
the courtroom that her son was the same age as
(13:41):
my son. So you think about she got a twenty
year prison sentence, She's done eighteen years of that. She's
you know, she's been out for a couple of years now.
And just to answer your question, I knew that I
had to continue that process of forgiving her.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
I didn't know what that looked like.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Took some time, but I thank God that I did
do that because I have forgiven him and her and
whatever involvement that he may or may not had in
that attack. I had to put them together and completely
forgive him and her.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Did he get jail time as well?
Speaker 5 (14:15):
So he did eventually get a year jail time and
one year probation, and it wasn't it had nothing to
do with that. There was a three day jury trial
and she was convicted of twenty years, but he continued
to stalk me and harass me, and he got a
year prison center, a year jail time in a year
(14:36):
of probation for continue to harass and stalk me a
year later.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So he didn't even though he drove you to the
gas station and left you for dead, there was no crime.
He didn't get He didn't get convicted of anything of that.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
It was one of those things where we had to
pick our poison.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
Gotcha, And so of course all of the animosity and
frustration leaned towards her because she did the heinous act,
and so we had to do that. He actually came
in every day of the trial and testified against her,
but then turned around and started harassing me, saying that
you took my girlfriend, you took the person I love.
(15:13):
I love both of y'all.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yes, I can't make this up.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Right, Yeah, I cannot, right, And so he So the
last straw for that situation was he literally called me
while I had three police officers standing in my home,
and they said, you know, they called his name, and
they said, repeat yourself. You know you have three police
(15:36):
officers stand here. His exact words, I don't care, I'm
gonna kill the bitch.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
And they went and picked him up and that's when
he served a year. A lot of people don't know that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
You know, it's crazy now, you know, you forget one
more questions. You said you forgave her, and you said
you were able to say her name and pray for her.
Has she reached out since then to apologize or have
you had a conversation or anything like that?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
In the courtroom that day, she had the choice to
speak to me, and she chose not to speak to me.
And in the three years that she has been out,
she chose to go to a blogger by the name
of Tasha Ka and speak out against me. Wow, Yeah,
(16:21):
in what way saying that it didn't happen the way
that that that the court records, the receipts and everything.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
She's saying it didn't happen that way. I was. I
was stalking her.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
I was jealous of her and the relationship with him,
a lot of things that she spoke out about. Yeah,
but I chose not to listen to it. Of course,
I'm very careful about what enters, you know, into my mind.
And I'm like, you know, I'm in a place now
where you know, I woke up that day when I
(16:53):
found out she was getting out of prison, and I said, okay,
I've been talking to talk. Now it's time to walk
the walk, you know, And so I just refuse to
allow anything negative to come into my mindset. However, it
was kind of hurtful because it's like art, Yeah, yeah,
you're still stuck clearly, and you know, if you did
(17:16):
eighteen years, at some point, you know, reality says sin
to where I need to take accountability for my actions,
and that still hasn't happened. But she's not my assignment,
and so I chose not to entertain it.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
You have a chapter in the book called Justice, Chapter seventeen,
and you know, you talk about what happened as far
as him getting sentenced, But does hurtting sentences the twenty
years did that feel like justice to you?
Speaker 5 (17:42):
No?
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Not at all? Okay, not at all.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
What would you have wanted to happen? What would be
justice to you?
Speaker 5 (17:48):
I had to come to grips with the twenty year
prison sentence, But of course attempted murder should have been
the charge instead of assaulting Boddy with intent to kill,
And yeah, that would have been That would have been better. However,
I feel like I feel like even though all of
(18:10):
that happened. I'm just not mad at it anymore, because
eighteen years is a long time to be without your child.
I was with my children every single day, right, I
got a chance to instill some values in them that
they still have to this day. I eventually got all
four of my children into college. So when I look
back twenty years and you did eighteen years compared to
(18:33):
me being with my children, I'm not mad at the
sentence now. I was angry then, but I'm not mad
at it now.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Did he give you any peace? All closure?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh gosh?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
The three day trial was about a year after the attack,
and so I had probably not left my room for
a whole year. And I got up and I went
to the three day trial. After that, you know, I
was waiting on the light switch to come on, to
be like, okay, you know I got justice.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Is good.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
It didn't really happen like that. I was still severely depressed,
but eventually it sunk in that this woman is in
prison and there is some justice, and justice did prevail.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Now, you mentioned your assignment. You said that wasn't your assignment.
What do you feel your assignment is my assignment?
Speaker 5 (19:18):
I know without a doubt is to let people know
everything that I went through and everything that they go through,
there is light on the other side. I wake up
now and I'm more happy than ever because before you know,
the Sabrina Greenley was you know, oh you're cute, you know,
(19:40):
you light skin, you pretty or whatever, but.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
My insides was screaming for help.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
And I really want people to know that when you
take the time to put the work in to get
the mental help, canceling and the therapy, and no matter what,
it is very important that you understand your worth and
who you are. And so when you began to do that,
oh god, it's amazing on the other side. So all
(20:08):
that pain and all that misery that people are still
you know, stuck in, when you can just make up
your mind and make the choice to say, you know what,
I don't want to be here anymore, whether you're an
abusive relationship or it's just family members, because people or
people can people be peopling.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
But when you.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
And what when I tell you, Charlie, you don't understand
and it never stops right. So it takes it takes
a bigger person to say, you know what, let me
handle this differently. Let me have the tools and the
takeaways like I put in grant me vision. I talk
about things, but at the end of every chapter, I'm like,
(20:48):
I had to write this memoir with the takeaways of
people understanding, like how I began to forgive. You can
just say I don't want to be one of people
to say you better forgive.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
No, let me tell you what.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
I've done for this Sabrianda Greenley today, to be out
here talking to women and ushering them into their process
of forgiveness and being that woman to say, you know what,
look at me, look at my life, look at my testimony.
I didn't stay there, and this is how you this
is how you not stay down.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Do you think it was a complexion thing that she
did it because you were the light skinned girl. And
the reason I ask, and I just want to say,
I you know, your strength is like no other. And
the reason I say that is my wife, who I've
been together with for thirty years. She was cutting the
face right when she was younger because she was a
lighter skinned. She had fifty stitches on her face, seventy
(21:41):
two stitches on her leg. They try to slice her up.
And when I sit back and I try to think
about how would I feel and how it would be
it would have broke me, the fact that you know,
it's your face, and how it made her stronger, and
how I'm looking at this and how it made you stronger.
And I'm just like the strength that you have. But
I was just wondering, do you feel like it was
your complexion that that did it? It was that jealousy because
(22:04):
back in the day, it used to be this whole thing,
light skin, brown skinned, dog skin thing, and it was
like a whole thing, and I felt like it divided
a lot of us just being black. Do you feel
like that was part of it? I am black, I'm
one hundred percent black.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Don't let him.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Dj nvy. I was bad back in the day. Now,
I mean, I'm not had bad now, but.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
But I was saying, come on now, what I'm saying
is I was I was fine as wine back in
the day. But so, of course it had something to
do with I mean, jealousy, I think, but now light skin.
From what I'm told, she's light skin too, Okay, So
I don't know if that played a part in it,
but definitely jealousy. I had just purchased a brand new lexus.
(22:44):
You know, I had the guy I was I was
at I was dancing at a strip club, and so yeah,
I was, well, excuse me.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
I'm sorry, you just talking about niggas.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
He went right back in the nigga.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
My stripper name was It's It's I Am. It was Caramel,
And I have a chapter in Grant Me Vision called Caramel.
You have to go to a Caramel chapter. I put
you in the strip club. I literally walk you in.
I put you in there. The upst the downs, the
house and lows of what a little black girl from
(23:25):
central South Carolina, you know, growing up and have went
through a lot of things that I won't tell you know,
I won't tell you too much, but how I got
to be in the strip club and the things that
happened while.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I'm there in South Carolina is a different breed.
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Yes, So back then, we wasn't we wasn't making it rain.
We was doing the r Kelly song in the in
the movie. You know it was it was slow motion.
Everything was like sensual and sexual.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Back then. Now people it's it's like the whole it's
a lot. They work for it. Now. I didn't have
to work for it.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
Back then, Yes, chapter eighteen sort of blind eyes can't see,
And the book is called Grant Me Vision?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
When did God give you the vision?
Speaker 5 (24:15):
God gave me the vision when honestly, he gave me
the vision when I was most suicidal. He gave me
because what I used to pray for all the time.
I used to say, God, give me vision, give me vision.
And I went through this roller coaster ride of getting
all of these Donor up Cornia transplants, and then one
(24:38):
would fail and then I get another one. So over
time it was like I was getting I've had over
thirty forty surgeries on my eyes trying to get my
vision back. But in that moment I used to just say,
you know, God, you know, give me vision. I just
want vision. Didn't And I think back now, I was like,
why was I asking for sight?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Like give me vision?
Speaker 5 (24:58):
And it was as though he was there with me
all along. I have to give him the credit for that.
But I feel like mostly as I'm coming out, transitioning
out of all the drama and the depression, I was
reminded that I'm going to give you what you asked for.
(25:19):
And so when that doctor when I said in Miami
with a really good friend of mine by the name
of Humble, and that doctor told me Humble, and he
told me, he says, you know, this is it, my
second my second opinion.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
They told me that you'll never see again. This is it.
Your retinance has detached. You fought a good fight.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
Everything that you know I worked for over the years
is gone, all the surgeries, this is I'm at the
last strow. And I realized in that moment that I
can't be mad because God granted me my vision. He
granted me vision, and this is something I don't know
how once again, you know, it's like I always have
(26:02):
this thing. I say, Okay, here we go it. What's next?
And you know, so this is next. I'm gonna be
blind for the rest of my life. But what am
I gonna do with this? And so the vision that
I have now, I feel like no one can not
feel like I know that no one can take away
from me.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
And how can I.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
Be angry or mad when God granted me exactly what
I asked for. I would rather have the vision I
have now going out speaking and talking to women and
showing them what the other side of death looks like.
He granted me vision and the vision I have is amazing.
I mean I literally wake up every day and I'm full.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Of joy and I'm happy.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
And of course, let's be honest, I would rather have sight.
I mean, who doesn't want to see, you know, and
it be taken at the hands of someone else. But
this is what I have, and this is what this
is what I have to work with, and I'm going
to continue working getting until I can't work it anymore.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
What what other senses got stronger?
Speaker 5 (27:10):
You know? They my children, so I can hear really good.
I think that was it, I think, but also too
just being alert and being aware of things, like things
that surround me. I'm hyper alert on everything around me,
so I think all of them may have enhanced.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
You know what's funny about kids. You know, I got
four daughters. It's not that your hearing gets better when
you're a parent. It's just that when they get quiet,
you know they're probably doing something, so that's when you
just screamed for them. Exactly hearing.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
No, it's what I don't hear is when I'm like,
what's y'all in there?
Speaker 5 (27:48):
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
There?
Speaker 4 (27:49):
You go?
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Now, I think everything got enhanced.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Now after every touchdown you know, DeAndre gives you, you know,
the football. Talk to us about that energy in the
bond you feel when that happens, Like what does that
mean for you?
Speaker 5 (28:03):
It's amazing because of course I can't see. And so
the very first initial time that he brought me the ball,
I was like, I was like, he coming, where he's coming,
where he's doing what?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
And he he held you.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
Know, he handed me the ball, and it was just
the way that he gave it to me, like he
squeezed my hands and he was like, Mama, I love you,
and I'm holding back tears because I'm like, man, you know,
it just signified everything that we went through, all of
the things that we went through that nobody will understand
that when that went on under one roof with me
(28:38):
and these four children, and it's amazing, Like I wouldn't
trade it for the world. And so now of course
he's you know, he's on his third team and I
can't always be in the end zone to him get
me the ball, but he makes sure I still get
my balls.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
He makes sure's that whole room of football.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
Some are deflated, some are it's like like, you know,
he's in his twelfth season, but I still have those balls,
and I think over time, you know, we give them
some of the family members and things like that, but.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
I have the majority.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You're from Clemson too.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
We are from Clemson, South Carolina. No, not from Clemson. No,
not from Clemson. It only started when we were in Houston.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
So but no, I'm from Clemson, South Carolina, proud bleed Orange.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, South Carolina. Let's go.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Now.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
You have a chapter called ending Generational Curses. What was
some generational curses that you felt you needed to break?
Speaker 5 (29:39):
The biggest one, the most relevant one was keeping secrets.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Man.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
We were notorious for keeping secrets, and so I think
what what stands out the most was when my brother
passed away. He got shot by the police in ninety seven.
He was in a domestic violence, a dispute himself. Three
or four officers come in open fire on him and
killing him instantly. And I never forget. My father went
(30:08):
down there to the room that he was staying in
and there was a tape recorder and he came back.
He grabbed the tape recorder and his rings that he
had got from Clemson because he was a very prominent
football player Clemson, and he shoves this tape record in
my hand, and he says, I don't ever want to
you know, I don't ever want to see this MF
thing again. And I'm like, god, you know, I'm twenty something.
(30:30):
I was like, what do I do?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Well?
Speaker 5 (30:32):
I keep it, and I keep it for many many years,
and eventually I give it to his daughter, who grew
up to be a prominent lawyer in Atlanta. But that
was my way of saying, you know what, like I
want this out and even talking about it now. I
only spoke about it, you know now. And my father
(30:52):
had no idea, right I was writing a book, and
I was like, like, this can't we can't keep this anymore,
like this is this, this is gonna infest us forever
if I don't talk about this. And so I think
that was one of the things I put in the chapter.
I was like, you know what, talking about this tape
recorder and what he left. I don't want to keep
secrets anymore. So that was my That was I think
(31:14):
that was the most prominent thing that I could talk about,
was breaking generations and the curses.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
And there were many more. I mean, we were in.
Speaker 5 (31:19):
A house like you know, you you don't talk about
things and even talk I was. I was raped and
molested at the age of ten, and I was told,
you're not going to mess up his family. Go somewhere
and set your fast ass down. We're not gonna talk
about this.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
That I was. I was.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
I was raped by a reverend. Yeah, a reverend, A
family member.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
He was.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
He was a family member.
Speaker 5 (31:43):
And so like, just exposing those things now, it puts
you on a vulnerable state. However, there are somebody that's
going through these things now that needs to know. You
know that they need to be talked about. They need
to be brought to the surface, because that's the only
way that you're going to heal.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Believe you when it happened, Did they believe you?
Speaker 3 (32:00):
And not at all? Not at all. My mother and
my grandmother, they totally did not believe me.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
How did that change your relationship with them if it
did at all?
Speaker 5 (32:09):
Well, I learned early on that I couldn't trust people.
And then you know, and I talk about that in
the book. There's a there's a place where I mentioned
that ten year that ten year old little girl died
that day and she was like angry and mad, and
then when she awakened, you know she was present in
every relationship because she was She was the one that
(32:33):
was fighting and cussing and mad and angry, right she
and she had a lot to do with how I
parented my children and the decisions that I made, And
so it's just it was one of those things where
I had to really get a grip on and understand
that man, like, this kid is hurting.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
But why, you.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
Know, because we were offended, we were hurt, we know,
you know, she was molested. All of these things were
present in my life the entire time.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
What I would never understand about stories like that is
you know, when you go to your mother and you
tell her what happened, and the mother says, hey, don't
say anything because I don't want you to mess up
his family. So there is some type of protectiveness there
that she has. But why don't they have that? Why
didn't you have that for you? Why was she protecting
him as opposed to you?
Speaker 5 (33:20):
I think now looking back, Charlemagne, my mom nor my
grandmother had the tools to understand what was going on,
and you have to think this probably happened to them
at some point. I didn't understand that then, Like, why
wouldn't they protect me, and why wouldn't why wouldn't they
believe me? And so it just began a whole whirlwind
(33:41):
of me manipulating, deceiving and lies, and man, I learned
how to lie and just I was going to get
you before you got me, and I didn't care who
you were. I took that throughout my entire life, just
about and not understanding, and I began to not trust
anybody at that point. But I still honor them, believe
it or not. My grandmama will steal my grandmama, my
(34:04):
mam will still my mama. I didn't understand it, but
I love them.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
I saw you say that the woman you are today,
if you had to do it all over again, you
wouldn't change a.
Speaker 5 (34:13):
Thing now, one single thing really now, one single thing.
And people when I say that, they're like, what do
you mean? You are blind? Like you wasn't born by
But I take all of that, And if you take
all of that and you mix it up, how could
I be this woman today, be able to talk, be
able to speak out so bravely, so boldly, if I
(34:36):
had not went through every single thing? So how can
I be mad at that? And also too, when you
purposefully make up your mind that you are going to
heal and you are going to deal with depression and anxiety,
and you're going to wake up whole. Then I have
no other choice but to understand that all of that
(34:56):
had to happen for a reason. Every single moment, every
single surgery, every single moment of pain, it had to happen.
And I wouldn't change not one single thing.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
You know what. I know, I only got a few
more questions.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
But you know, traumas are real, and triggers are real,
and when you're writing a book, you know, and you're
having to relive a lot of these things that can
trigger you. But also you know the young woman coming
home doing interviews that could trigger you as well.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Have you been triggered by.
Speaker 5 (35:27):
An Absolutely all of this happened while I'm trying to
write the book, Lord, So she gets out while I'm
writing it.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
She speaks out while I'm writing it, and I'm triggered.
Speaker 5 (35:38):
So they tell you, when you're writing a book, Charlamagne,
you may, you may can attest to this. It's like,
when you unraveling all these emotions, you need to float
in water.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
You need to get counseling. I was trying everything.
Speaker 5 (35:52):
I was floating every night and nothing was working because
you know, mentally, I was having to relive all of this.
But I think just sitting down with my ghostwriter and saying,
you know what, I'm gonna get it out. It has
to get out, I'm going to be because think about it, like,
if I don't get this out, my brothers and I
here to tell their story. My fiance that I was
(36:12):
in the car wreck with that died eight days later,
Deandre's father. If this is it's up to me to
tell these stories? So how dare I allow them? It
doesn't matter what they say. I was like, I'm not
gonna let them win on this one.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Now, you can't. You can't take nothing else.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
How do you prevent yourself from writing a dish record?
Speaker 5 (36:29):
Though?
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Like, oh, it's coming, is it? If I could wrap it?
Will I can't rap envy?
Speaker 4 (36:41):
But making sure that.
Speaker 5 (36:44):
My daughter told me yesterday she said, Mama, I'm waiting
on book two. I was like, really, it took me
three or four years to do this, but no, I
feel like I feel like I have to. I want
to keep talking talking about it. I want to keep
telling my story every day, like even I wanted to
make sure that in my memoir that people know I'm
(37:07):
still struggling. I'm still going through. It's no perfect days
for somebody being blind, but I'm doing it. I want
people to know that I'm doing it. And so yeah,
I want to keep I just want to keep that going,
that energy.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Now I want to talk about you your nonprofit Smooth,
tell people about that and how they can jump into
that and help you out with that and maybe support.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
Absolutely, So, I have a nonprofit. We advocate against domestic violence.
I'm in three states and we really are out here
helping women. I have so many stories where we go
out and literally take women from shelters, organizations, agencies, and
when they decide to go into their own dwelling, we
(37:51):
provide them with financial literacy, household supplies. We do it
all and I am hands on every single case. I'm
right there. And so Smooth stands for speaking mentally, outwardly,
opening opportunities. That's with three olds, and they can go
to smoothink dot org. That's with three olds, and every
(38:12):
single thing that people contribute goes into these women. I really, really,
really can it stress enough that my organization is built
and It thrives on helping these women who have been abused,
and not only abused, but have been traumatized. It doesn't matter,
(38:33):
and it's not just domestic violence. We help all women
in different fastest self abuse.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
When do you think twopat question? Were you hard on
your daughters?
Speaker 3 (38:44):
I was hard on all my children. I was a
disciplinarian and I didn't play.
Speaker 5 (38:49):
Now I have eight grand babies, I'm a little softer now,
but I was super hard on my children. And sitting
in the house, like just sitting there watching life happened
and things go by. I knew that, like I said,
I had to have a voice. I had to have
them fear somebody. And I have this thing. You know,
I'm from the old school. I'm like, you know, you
(39:10):
either you either listen to me or you don't listen
to the white man.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
You're gonna listen. You listen to somebody.
Speaker 5 (39:16):
People don't understand about that thing. You're gonna listen to somebody, right,
And so, like I said, I just became a disciplinarian
and it actually paid off because, like I said, I
was able to get all them in college and the
proudest moments of my life was of dropping those kids
off in those dormitaries dormitories and coming back home and
just just giving them a chance at life, a chance
(39:38):
that I didn't have.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Very important.
Speaker 4 (39:40):
The other part of that question is my daddy would
always always felt like my daddy raised me out of
fear and not love. When did you start raising the
kids with love and not with fear?
Speaker 5 (39:51):
When they started rebelling and telling me about myself and
just being like, Mama, you like you know, my boys
they were in eleventh and twelfth grade, I still had
them coming home at ten o'clock and they were like, Mama,
enough is enough. Man. And not only that, but just
like literally telling me about myself. Sometimes you have to listen.
(40:12):
I had the mother do as I say, not as
I do. I didn't want to be that mother. I
wanted to, but I also didn't want to just be
your friend. And I think that me just looking at
myself and saying, you know what, man like, let me
let me give them some grace because they're not gonna
do what I did.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
You know, these are some good children.
Speaker 5 (40:32):
I had to trust that what I instilled, you know,
now it is time to allow them to grow and flourish.
But it took some time because I was scared. I
remember my daughter telling me a few years ago, she said, Mamma,
you wouldn't let me go anywhere. You wouldn't let me
do anything.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
And I told her, I said, I apologized. I didn't
want my story to be your.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Story, right right. Last question.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
Your book ends with a poem from Deandre's celebrating you
know your twenty years called the screen for my mom.
How did you feel the first time you heard those words?
Speaker 1 (41:02):
He wrote.
Speaker 5 (41:03):
I was sitting there at my twenty year life celebration,
and this is twenty years of everything I went through,
the struggles and everything, and I'm sitting there with everybody
that I love, and everybody had flew in and I
was just feeling amazing. Had no idea that he wrote
this poem. He gets up there. Each one of my
children got up and says something. But he gets up
(41:24):
there and he says this poem and I'm all tears.
I'm just boohoo crying because I'm like and he says
that he told me later that he made it up
on the way there, just on the plane.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
He just came from his heart.
Speaker 5 (41:39):
I had to put that in the memoir because it
was so significant to just let people know that what
you pour into your children, he eventually will get back
one day. And that is a poem, and that speaks
so highly of me and everything that we went through.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
Yeah, it was amazing.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
What's the message you want people to get from this book?
Especially women?
Speaker 5 (42:04):
I want women to know that there is a place
for us. And I say us because I'm still in
the fight with you. However, when you make up your
mind to really forgive and acknowledge everything that you've done,
take accountability. I think it's very important that when we
stop pointing fingers, and when we stop blaming other people
(42:27):
and just sit down, sit in silence with yourself. When
you began to just sit in silence, look at yourself,
whether it's in the mirror, whether you realize what you've
done with your children, the abusive relationship that you're in,
when you began to take your power back baby. On
the other side of that, you could scream and scream
as loud as you want. There is no more suffering
in silence, and so I feel like Grant Me Vision
(42:49):
portrays all of that. The upst the downs, The journey
of a young Black girl who didn't know who she
was going through all of this. But I am you,
You are me, and like I said, on the other
side of that is happiness is joy. And I feel
like when you can just understand that when you make
(43:10):
the choice, no one can make that choice for you.
But there is so much happiness on the other side
of that pain. And I want everybody to go get
grant me Vision because I want you to just see
my journey. It wasn't always you know, like this, but
I want you to just really go go grab grant
me Vision today and really really dive into it. There
(43:31):
are so many takeaway, so many tools in there, and
I want you to just follow my journey and see
how I navigate through life.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
Man, what a testimony you got, Sabrina. And I'll tell
you something. You know how to promote a book?
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (43:42):
If you ever listen to somebody promote a book when
they do an interview, if they keep representing the book,
they know what they're doing, right.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
Okay, Come on, grant me Vision out today. Wherever books
are sold.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
To follow you?
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Too many Faith and forgive Us is out now? How
can they follow you?
Speaker 1 (44:00):
So?
Speaker 5 (44:00):
I'm always on Instagram Sabrina Greenley twelve. You can go
and I'm cooking, I'm dancing, I'm doing any and everything
itself for driving Sabrina Greenley twelve on Instagram and again
you can go to my website smooth.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
That's where three o's ink dot org.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
All right, well it's Sabrina Greenley. It's the Breakfast Club.
Good morning, thank you.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Wake that ass up Earth in the morning for Breakfast Club.
The Breakfast Club News
Hosts And Creators
Charlamagne Tha God
DJ Envy
Jess Hilarious
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