May 18, 2025 • 26 mins
There’s a quiet power in choosing yourself—and in this season finale of Allison’s Corner, Allison is reflecting on what it really means to become the woman you were always meant to be. This episode is part love letter, part journal entry, and part invitation to anyone who’s been learning how to be soft, set boundaries, and stand tall in their truth. We’re talking about:
If you’ve been unlearning people-pleasing, outgrowing old versions of yourself, or reclaiming your voice—this episode is for you. So light a candle, pour your favorite drink, and join Allison for a heartfelt close to a season full of growth, grace, and becoming.
Stay Connected:
Be blessed!
- Why softness isn’t weakness—it’s a superpower
- How boundaries can be kind, clear, and life-changing
- What it looks like to stop chasing clarity and start choosing peace
- The deep work of letting go and learning to trust yourself
- Why becoming her isn’t a destination—it’s a daily decision
If you’ve been unlearning people-pleasing, outgrowing old versions of yourself, or reclaiming your voice—this episode is for you. So light a candle, pour your favorite drink, and join Allison for a heartfelt close to a season full of growth, grace, and becoming.
Stay Connected:
- Email your thoughts and feedback to us at allisonscornerpod@gmail.com
- Follow us on Instagram for updates: https://instagram.com/allisonscornerpod
- Check out our YouTube for more insight: https://www.youtube.com/@AllisonsCornerPod
- Join the conversation with our book club: https://www.instagram.com/allisonandfriendsbookclub/
- Subscribe to my newsletter on Substack for more reflections and resources: https://allisonscornerpod.substack.com/
Be blessed!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hey, and welcome to Alison's Corner. This is my little
corner of the Internet where we dive into wellness, personal growth, relationships,
and just other topics best suited for you. I'm your host, Alison,
bringing you fresh perspectives, inspiring conversations, and a little something
(00:29):
to spark your day. Be sure to follow along with
Allison's Corner on Instagram, subscribe to our newsletter, and watch
us on YouTube at Allison's Corner Pod. Here you'll find
more insights and community updates of what we have going
on on Allison's Corner. Now, without further ado, here is
(00:50):
today's episode. Hello everyone, and welcome or welcome back to
another episode of Alison's Corner. As always, I am your host, Alison,
and of course this is our little cozy corner of
the Internet for real talk, reflection and evolving into the
(01:14):
person that you're meant to be. And today's episode is
more about that conversation. It is the season sixth finale,
and this episode is a reflection. It is a declaration
and honestly a bit of a love letter to the
(01:35):
version of me and maybe you of what I've been
learning in how to embrace softness, how to enforce boundaries
and definitely becoming her. So this episode is for anyone
who's had to choose themselves even if it was uncomfortable,
(02:00):
for anyone who's been made to feel like they're too sensitive,
too quiet, too kind, and for anyone who's redefining what
it means to be strong. So go ahead and pour
yourself something to drink. Coffee, tea, I got myself a
little glass of wine on the side. Go ahead, get cozy,
(02:21):
subtle in, and we're going to talk about the power
of softness, the necessity of boundaries, and what it really
means to become the woman that you feel like you
were always meant to be. Okay, so let's go ahead
and start with softness because that has been the word
(02:42):
for me lately, and not just in an esthetic type
of way, like you know, cozy vibes and slow mournings,
which I love and I definitely definitely participate in. However,
I mean real softness, the kind of softness that shows
up when you speak, how you listen, and how you're
(03:06):
able to let other people in. And I'll be honest,
for a very long time, I thought softness was a
bit dangerous, and I thought being soft could get be hurt,
that if I led with kindness and vulnerability, someone would
take advantage of it. And while I know that it's
(03:29):
something that might happen, I was guarding myself from hurt,
even if it didn't mean somebody taking advantage of me.
So instead I tried to be chill. I tried to
be low maintenance, you know, somebody who's easy to be
around and quiet about what I needed, which I don't
(03:54):
know if y'all know this, I am a bit of
an introvert, but my close friends and family I will
tell you I talk a mile a minute. So yeah.
But underneath all of that, I honestly started to get
very tired because I was tired of being the one
who always understood other people in their needs. I was
(04:17):
tired of being emotionally available to people who couldn't even
be honest with themselves, and that that is a whole
other story. And I was tired of over analyzing other
people's behaviors and trying to decode the shift and energy
(04:38):
like I was some type of private investigator or something.
And I'll be honest. Along the way, I had to
pause and start to really, you know, ask myself, is
this love or is it me holding out hope that
if I'm soft enough, kind enough, if I'm patient a
(05:00):
enough with this person or with this situation, that they'll
finally show up the way that I deserve. And the
answer to that, sometimes or most of the time was no.
And with that being my answer, that became my turning
point because softness was never the problem. Now, looking back,
(05:25):
believe that softness to actually be a superpower. But while
it is a superpower, like all superpowers, it does have
to be protected and for me, because being soft doesn't
mean that you let everyone have access to you. It
(05:46):
means you move through the world rooted in who you
are and you stop giving away sacred parts of yourself
to people who only can offer you confusion. But while
I'm I'm still soft and I am cry I I well,
I'm a cry baby, or I cry when anything happens.
(06:08):
I do love deeply, and I root for other people
as well. But I've had to learn the duality of things. Right.
If someone leaves me questioning my worth over and over
and over again, it's a sign that is just clear.
(06:31):
Their behavior tells me everything I need to know. That
doesn't mean that I become colder in my response, and
I shut down and let nobody in. But the sign
is just as clear as day. And with that clarity,
that is when my boundaries became more wrapped in the
softness that I had begun to develop. So Part two
(06:55):
we're gonna get into boundaries. And I really want to
say this. Your boundaries are not walls. Okay, listen. If
you are recovering people, please are like me. Please raise
your hand because you know how hard it is to
say no and not feel guilty about it. And truth
(07:17):
be told, I still will say no and the guilt
rushes through me. Okay, Because I used to be really scared,
and in some cases I still am scared in disappointing people,
especially the people that I really do love. And even
(07:37):
if those same people who I was scared of disappointing
were the ones that were disappointing me regularly, I, for instance,
would be quick to reply to their texts. I'd be
quick to excuse their behavior, especially when other people would
point it out to me, And I just make excuses,
(07:59):
you know, for what they were going through or what
was happening. I was super quick in over explaining the
situation or what was happening with them or with me,
or the situation at hand, whatever. But what I had
begun to realize is that I was burning myself out
(08:20):
trying to be everything for certain people who weren't even
showing up for me. So now that I've gotten older
and I've just realized that in life there are boundaries
that are needed, I just started saying no, just a
(08:42):
complete sentence no, and I did so without an explanation.
I did so without apology. I just said no. And
in saying no, I realized, you know, it made me
stronger in the person that I am and in who
I want to be. But I had to move away
(09:05):
from those same people who were making me anxious. I
had to move away from people who you know, were
just popping up when they were bored and not really
wanting to actively engage in my life. And I had
to really stop explaining my no to people because before
(09:26):
I would say no, but I felt like I always
had to add an extra bit of you know, substance
so that they understood where I was coming from. And
I've learned that in doing that that didn't help the situation,
because those same people that I was saying no to
never explained to me their same disrespect. And I will
(09:47):
admit at first it felt very lonely, like really lonely,
but over time it had begun to feel a bit freeing.
And the reason why I say bound aren't walls is
because I no longer look at boundaries as being the shield,
right that's trying to protect you, or girl, it's trying
(10:10):
to protect you, but it's not trying to you know,
just let everyone in. I look at boundaries more so
as being doors, and I am the one who gets
to decide who has a key to opening those doors.
And if you have been setting boundaries lately and you're wondering, girl,
(10:32):
am I doing too much? I just want to be
the first to tell you, no, you're not. You probably
are just not used to honoring yourself in this way,
and that is more okay, more than okay, because I
too feel uncomfortable, and listen, just give yourself all the
grace that you definitely deserve. The next thing that I
(10:56):
kind of want to talk about is becoming her. And
I know we keep on hearing this phrase all the
time throughout social media, and I really want to hone
in on who is she? Who is this woman? That
I've been becoming, or who is this woman or person
that you are becoming? I really want to Jeff, I
(11:20):
just want to say this. I do not know everything,
and I may look like I have it altogether. Please
believe I do not, and the person that I am
becoming is realizing I'm not perfect. You know. I still
have my moments. I still overthink like crazy, Okay, I
(11:44):
still get mad when someone goes to me, or I
wonder if I'm doing this whole healing journey thing right
or wrong or whatever. But one thing that I've noticed,
and especially the shift that's very much taken place in
(12:05):
my thirties, is that I am done chasing clarity from
people who have never had the courage to even be
clearer with me. I do not tolerate inconsistent energy. Once
I see your words and your actions do not align,
(12:27):
I'm out. Okay. I am not apologizing anymore for having needs,
and I'm not waiting for someone else to see my
worth before I claim it for myself. And so for me,
what that means in this particular moment is in my
(12:50):
journey in becoming her is leaving people on red who
sometimes honestly don't even deserve a response, or true, they
don't even deserve my phone number. It's taking breaks from
social media when the noise of comparison starts to get
(13:11):
too loud in my head, and it is being okay
with not being liked by everyone. It's meant that I
have had to grieve old versions of myself that used
to beg and plead and settle and hope and wait
for things to take place. And in this new season
(13:35):
of my life, I am welcoming this version of me
who walks into a room and knows what I bring.
As far as value is concerned, I do not need
anyone else's stamp of approval. The only approval that I
(13:56):
want in this life is of my own. And if
that means disappointing some of the people that are closest
to me in that, then so be it. And for
any of you who are listening, you are becoming that
person as well. If you've had to let go of
what is not growing with you, you're becoming them or
(14:19):
becoming that person. If you've truth be told you know,
seeing that this season of your life is uncomfortable with
where your growth is, you are becoming a new person.
If you have chosen peace over performance. Girl, You're becoming
that new person, and that is the beautiful thing of life,
(14:41):
is that in our evolution of who we are meant
to be, there are some people that cannot go to
the top with us. And I think the quicker we
realize that, the more easier, not in letting people go,
but in realizing who is really me to be there
for you and who is not meant to be there
(15:04):
for you in that moment. Now, I quickly want to
go over this next part, and it's something we've previously
discussed on the podcast in my episode the Art of
Letting Go Go listen to it. It was a really
good episode. I'm going to touch on that again right
now because I think with this we do need to
(15:27):
talk about letting go of things, and not just of people,
but again of expectations or even timelines that we're never
really ours to begin with. There is a certain kind
of grief that comes with letting go. Even when you
(15:51):
know something isn't for you anymore, it still stinks because
you once held this thing in high regard and super
close to you, and you hoped at one point in
time that it would all work, and you truly believed
(16:13):
that it was going to be part of your story,
but the truth is not everything that feels familiar is
meant to be forever. And sometimes growth looks like releasing
the thing that you prayed for because you've outgrown it.
(16:34):
I have had to let go of friendships that no
longer felt mutual. I've had to let go of narratives
that told me I was way too much or I
wasn't enough. I have also had to let go of
(16:55):
my own timelines that said I had to have it
all figured out by now. Letting go has felt like
losing something at times, but every time I've released what
wasn't aligned, I have been able to make space for
something even better. And that something is what is supposed
(17:19):
to be mine to begin with. And in this season,
I've learned that the real glow up doesn't happen with esthetics,
but more so, it's about self trust. It's about knowing
that when things fall apart, you're not going to fall apart.
(17:42):
And it's about building a relationship with yourself that's rooted
in truth and not in perfection. Because when you start
to trust yourself, y'all, you stop second guessing every single
decision you don't need the group chat to come to
(18:04):
a consensus so that you can move forward. You honestly
stop asking permission to live your life out loud, because
the thing that comes with trusting yourself is what helps
you walk away from something that almost feels right, and
(18:24):
it is what helps you in learning how to say
yes from something that is so deep within yourself that
you know to be yours and to know when it
is the right time. And all of this does not
show up at once, believe me. You begin to build
it moment by moment, choice by choice, boundary by boundary,
(18:48):
brick by brick. Okay, And once you learn how to
have that self trust, that's when you stop outsourcing your
worth to other people. Also, for me, what I'm learning
in this time is prioritizing myself, and in this season,
(19:10):
I'm focusing more on wholeness over hustle. This one has
been long overdue for me to get, okay, and one
that I honestly am still learning because for a really
long time I felt like, especially as a black woman,
I had to earn my rest that I needed to
(19:32):
hit every single goal, I needed to prove every single point,
and I just needed to check all the boxes before
I could even breathe. But rest is not a reward.
If wholeness is the actual goal, and not busyness, not performance,
(19:53):
not productivity, then through me becoming her, becoming this woman
that I really want to see self actualized, means that
I am no longer addicted to proving my worth through
doing things. I am learning to just slow down without
the guilt. Sometimes I have to say to myself, even
(20:15):
on a day like today, y'all, this is enough for today.
We can handle the rest tomorrow and mean it and
stick by it because in those small moments, I am
celebrating softness, I am celebrating stillness. I am celebrating slowness
as something that is sacred to me. And in our society,
(20:38):
we live in a culture that glorifies the grind twenty
four to seven, and they dismiss this quietness of just
simply being. And I have found the most clarity, honestly,
some of my deepest healing in having a strong self,
of strong sense of self in moments when I choose
(21:01):
peace over the pressure. So if you needed a reminder today,
I just I wanted to be the person to let
you know your value isn't tied to your output, and
you do not have to hustle in order to be whole.
And before we go ahead and we wrap this thing up,
(21:22):
I wanted to say something that's really important because with
this season ending, this is the version of you that
is blooming, evolving and becoming. And I want you to
know this is only the beginning. So don't rush the process.
Don't downplay your growth just because it doesn't look dramatic.
(21:44):
Small shifts can create big changes. And every boundary that
you hold, every honest conversation you have, every moment that
you choose peace, you are building a life that honors
who you truly are. So when you look back on
(22:05):
this version of yourself months from now, years from now,
hell decades from now, okay, I want you to smile
and I want you to say I did that. I
did the hard thing, I kept showing up, and I
did it with grace. Because you're not starting over. You
are the one that is starting to get wiser and
(22:28):
in this next season of your life, it's already waiting
for you. You are embracing more alignment, more clarity, more softness,
and more power. So with this being the season finale
of season six, I want you to take this episode
(22:50):
with you into your next season of life, whether that
is just a new mindset, whether you are moving from
one space to another, I want you to take this
with you. And some of the questions that I want
you to really reflect on as you are moving in
this transition is what have I let go of this
(23:13):
year that made space for something better? Where do I
need firmer boundaries to protect my peace? What version of
me am I outgrowing? And who am I stepping into?
And what does being her really look like for me?
I want you to write those down. I want you
(23:35):
to sit with it and don't rush it, because this
is the work, but is also the most beautiful part
of it. And so with that, I want to say
thank you. Thank you for showing up for me the season,
sometimes when I could barely show up for myself. Y'all
(23:55):
for listening to me ramble, for sharing your hearts with me.
This podcast has grown, I have grown, and I am
so proud of us. And as we close this season,
I really want y'all to know this. You don't have
to be louder to be heard. You don't have to
be colder to protect yourself, and you don't need to
(24:19):
chase what God has already ordained to be yours. You
are allowed to be soft and strong. You are allowed
to have boundaries and also be loving, and you are
allowed to be healing and also be whole. So we're
(24:40):
gonna take a little break. We will be back within
the next month. Do not worry. I will see you back.
Keep an eye out for when our season seven, Oh
my gosh, season seven premiere will take place, and we're
gonna be back next season with even more with with
more stories, more reflections, more truth. I'm really excited for
(25:04):
what season seven has in store for us. And yeah,
I'm so excited and I can't wait to take y'all
along on this journey with me. But of course I
have to end today's episode, especially our season six finale,
with a quote by the beautiful Maya Angelou. She says,
(25:29):
if you are always trying to be normal, you will
never know how amazing you can be. As always, y'all
here at Allison's Corner. God bless have an amazing day,
and thank y'all for listening to Alison's Corner. Thanks for
(25:51):
tuning in to Alison's Corner. If you enjoy today's episode.
Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it
with a friend who'd love to join the conversation. For
more context and updates, follow us on Instagram and YouTube
at Allison's Corner Pod. Until next time, be blessed.
Hey, and welcome to Alison's Corner. This is my little
corner of the Internet where we dive into wellness, personal growth, relationships,
and just other topics best suited for you. I'm your host, Alison,
bringing you fresh perspectives, inspiring conversations, and a little something
(00:29):
to spark your day. Be sure to follow along with
Allison's Corner on Instagram, subscribe to our newsletter, and watch
us on YouTube at Allison's Corner Pod. Here you'll find
more insights and community updates of what we have going
on on Allison's Corner. Now, without further ado, here is
(00:50):
today's episode. Hello everyone, and welcome or welcome back to
another episode of Alison's Corner. As always, I am your host, Alison,
and of course this is our little cozy corner of
the Internet for real talk, reflection and evolving into the
(01:14):
person that you're meant to be. And today's episode is
more about that conversation. It is the season sixth finale,
and this episode is a reflection. It is a declaration
and honestly a bit of a love letter to the
(01:35):
version of me and maybe you of what I've been
learning in how to embrace softness, how to enforce boundaries
and definitely becoming her. So this episode is for anyone
who's had to choose themselves even if it was uncomfortable,
(02:00):
for anyone who's been made to feel like they're too sensitive,
too quiet, too kind, and for anyone who's redefining what
it means to be strong. So go ahead and pour
yourself something to drink. Coffee, tea, I got myself a
little glass of wine on the side. Go ahead, get cozy,
(02:21):
subtle in, and we're going to talk about the power
of softness, the necessity of boundaries, and what it really
means to become the woman that you feel like you
were always meant to be. Okay, so let's go ahead
and start with softness because that has been the word
(02:42):
for me lately, and not just in an esthetic type
of way, like you know, cozy vibes and slow mournings,
which I love and I definitely definitely participate in. However,
I mean real softness, the kind of softness that shows
up when you speak, how you listen, and how you're
(03:06):
able to let other people in. And I'll be honest,
for a very long time, I thought softness was a
bit dangerous, and I thought being soft could get be hurt,
that if I led with kindness and vulnerability, someone would
take advantage of it. And while I know that it's
(03:29):
something that might happen, I was guarding myself from hurt,
even if it didn't mean somebody taking advantage of me.
So instead I tried to be chill. I tried to
be low maintenance, you know, somebody who's easy to be
around and quiet about what I needed, which I don't
(03:54):
know if y'all know this, I am a bit of
an introvert, but my close friends and family I will
tell you I talk a mile a minute. So yeah.
But underneath all of that, I honestly started to get
very tired because I was tired of being the one
who always understood other people in their needs. I was
(04:17):
tired of being emotionally available to people who couldn't even
be honest with themselves, and that that is a whole
other story. And I was tired of over analyzing other
people's behaviors and trying to decode the shift and energy
(04:38):
like I was some type of private investigator or something.
And I'll be honest. Along the way, I had to
pause and start to really, you know, ask myself, is
this love or is it me holding out hope that
if I'm soft enough, kind enough, if I'm patient a
(05:00):
enough with this person or with this situation, that they'll
finally show up the way that I deserve. And the
answer to that, sometimes or most of the time was no.
And with that being my answer, that became my turning
point because softness was never the problem. Now, looking back,
(05:25):
believe that softness to actually be a superpower. But while
it is a superpower, like all superpowers, it does have
to be protected and for me, because being soft doesn't
mean that you let everyone have access to you. It
(05:46):
means you move through the world rooted in who you
are and you stop giving away sacred parts of yourself
to people who only can offer you confusion. But while
I'm I'm still soft and I am cry I I well,
I'm a cry baby, or I cry when anything happens.
(06:08):
I do love deeply, and I root for other people
as well. But I've had to learn the duality of things. Right.
If someone leaves me questioning my worth over and over
and over again, it's a sign that is just clear.
(06:31):
Their behavior tells me everything I need to know. That
doesn't mean that I become colder in my response, and
I shut down and let nobody in. But the sign
is just as clear as day. And with that clarity,
that is when my boundaries became more wrapped in the
softness that I had begun to develop. So Part two
(06:55):
we're gonna get into boundaries. And I really want to
say this. Your boundaries are not walls. Okay, listen. If
you are recovering people, please are like me. Please raise
your hand because you know how hard it is to
say no and not feel guilty about it. And truth
(07:17):
be told, I still will say no and the guilt
rushes through me. Okay, Because I used to be really scared,
and in some cases I still am scared in disappointing people,
especially the people that I really do love. And even
(07:37):
if those same people who I was scared of disappointing
were the ones that were disappointing me regularly, I, for instance,
would be quick to reply to their texts. I'd be
quick to excuse their behavior, especially when other people would
point it out to me, And I just make excuses,
(07:59):
you know, for what they were going through or what
was happening. I was super quick in over explaining the
situation or what was happening with them or with me,
or the situation at hand, whatever. But what I had
begun to realize is that I was burning myself out
(08:20):
trying to be everything for certain people who weren't even
showing up for me. So now that I've gotten older
and I've just realized that in life there are boundaries
that are needed, I just started saying no, just a
(08:42):
complete sentence no, and I did so without an explanation.
I did so without apology. I just said no. And
in saying no, I realized, you know, it made me
stronger in the person that I am and in who
I want to be. But I had to move away
(09:05):
from those same people who were making me anxious. I
had to move away from people who you know, were
just popping up when they were bored and not really
wanting to actively engage in my life. And I had
to really stop explaining my no to people because before
(09:26):
I would say no, but I felt like I always
had to add an extra bit of you know, substance
so that they understood where I was coming from. And
I've learned that in doing that that didn't help the situation,
because those same people that I was saying no to
never explained to me their same disrespect. And I will
(09:47):
admit at first it felt very lonely, like really lonely,
but over time it had begun to feel a bit freeing.
And the reason why I say bound aren't walls is
because I no longer look at boundaries as being the shield,
right that's trying to protect you, or girl, it's trying
(10:10):
to protect you, but it's not trying to you know,
just let everyone in. I look at boundaries more so
as being doors, and I am the one who gets
to decide who has a key to opening those doors.
And if you have been setting boundaries lately and you're wondering, girl,
(10:32):
am I doing too much? I just want to be
the first to tell you, no, you're not. You probably
are just not used to honoring yourself in this way,
and that is more okay, more than okay, because I
too feel uncomfortable, and listen, just give yourself all the
grace that you definitely deserve. The next thing that I
(10:56):
kind of want to talk about is becoming her. And
I know we keep on hearing this phrase all the
time throughout social media, and I really want to hone
in on who is she? Who is this woman? That
I've been becoming, or who is this woman or person
that you are becoming? I really want to Jeff, I
(11:20):
just want to say this. I do not know everything,
and I may look like I have it altogether. Please
believe I do not, and the person that I am
becoming is realizing I'm not perfect. You know. I still
have my moments. I still overthink like crazy, Okay, I
(11:44):
still get mad when someone goes to me, or I
wonder if I'm doing this whole healing journey thing right
or wrong or whatever. But one thing that I've noticed,
and especially the shift that's very much taken place in
(12:05):
my thirties, is that I am done chasing clarity from
people who have never had the courage to even be
clearer with me. I do not tolerate inconsistent energy. Once
I see your words and your actions do not align,
(12:27):
I'm out. Okay. I am not apologizing anymore for having needs,
and I'm not waiting for someone else to see my
worth before I claim it for myself. And so for me,
what that means in this particular moment is in my
(12:50):
journey in becoming her is leaving people on red who
sometimes honestly don't even deserve a response, or true, they
don't even deserve my phone number. It's taking breaks from
social media when the noise of comparison starts to get
(13:11):
too loud in my head, and it is being okay
with not being liked by everyone. It's meant that I
have had to grieve old versions of myself that used
to beg and plead and settle and hope and wait
for things to take place. And in this new season
(13:35):
of my life, I am welcoming this version of me
who walks into a room and knows what I bring.
As far as value is concerned, I do not need
anyone else's stamp of approval. The only approval that I
(13:56):
want in this life is of my own. And if
that means disappointing some of the people that are closest
to me in that, then so be it. And for
any of you who are listening, you are becoming that
person as well. If you've had to let go of
what is not growing with you, you're becoming them or
(14:19):
becoming that person. If you've truth be told you know,
seeing that this season of your life is uncomfortable with
where your growth is, you are becoming a new person.
If you have chosen peace over performance. Girl, You're becoming
that new person, and that is the beautiful thing of life,
(14:41):
is that in our evolution of who we are meant
to be, there are some people that cannot go to
the top with us. And I think the quicker we
realize that, the more easier, not in letting people go,
but in realizing who is really me to be there
for you and who is not meant to be there
(15:04):
for you in that moment. Now, I quickly want to
go over this next part, and it's something we've previously
discussed on the podcast in my episode the Art of
Letting Go Go listen to it. It was a really
good episode. I'm going to touch on that again right
now because I think with this we do need to
(15:27):
talk about letting go of things, and not just of people,
but again of expectations or even timelines that we're never
really ours to begin with. There is a certain kind
of grief that comes with letting go. Even when you
(15:51):
know something isn't for you anymore, it still stinks because
you once held this thing in high regard and super
close to you, and you hoped at one point in
time that it would all work, and you truly believed
(16:13):
that it was going to be part of your story,
but the truth is not everything that feels familiar is
meant to be forever. And sometimes growth looks like releasing
the thing that you prayed for because you've outgrown it.
(16:34):
I have had to let go of friendships that no
longer felt mutual. I've had to let go of narratives
that told me I was way too much or I
wasn't enough. I have also had to let go of
(16:55):
my own timelines that said I had to have it
all figured out by now. Letting go has felt like
losing something at times, but every time I've released what
wasn't aligned, I have been able to make space for
something even better. And that something is what is supposed
(17:19):
to be mine to begin with. And in this season,
I've learned that the real glow up doesn't happen with esthetics,
but more so, it's about self trust. It's about knowing
that when things fall apart, you're not going to fall apart.
(17:42):
And it's about building a relationship with yourself that's rooted
in truth and not in perfection. Because when you start
to trust yourself, y'all, you stop second guessing every single
decision you don't need the group chat to come to
(18:04):
a consensus so that you can move forward. You honestly
stop asking permission to live your life out loud, because
the thing that comes with trusting yourself is what helps
you walk away from something that almost feels right, and
(18:24):
it is what helps you in learning how to say
yes from something that is so deep within yourself that
you know to be yours and to know when it
is the right time. And all of this does not
show up at once, believe me. You begin to build
it moment by moment, choice by choice, boundary by boundary,
(18:48):
brick by brick. Okay, And once you learn how to
have that self trust, that's when you stop outsourcing your
worth to other people. Also, for me, what I'm learning
in this time is prioritizing myself, and in this season,
(19:10):
I'm focusing more on wholeness over hustle. This one has
been long overdue for me to get, okay, and one
that I honestly am still learning because for a really
long time I felt like, especially as a black woman,
I had to earn my rest that I needed to
(19:32):
hit every single goal, I needed to prove every single point,
and I just needed to check all the boxes before
I could even breathe. But rest is not a reward.
If wholeness is the actual goal, and not busyness, not performance,
(19:53):
not productivity, then through me becoming her, becoming this woman
that I really want to see self actualized, means that
I am no longer addicted to proving my worth through
doing things. I am learning to just slow down without
the guilt. Sometimes I have to say to myself, even
(20:15):
on a day like today, y'all, this is enough for today.
We can handle the rest tomorrow and mean it and
stick by it because in those small moments, I am
celebrating softness, I am celebrating stillness. I am celebrating slowness
as something that is sacred to me. And in our society,
(20:38):
we live in a culture that glorifies the grind twenty
four to seven, and they dismiss this quietness of just
simply being. And I have found the most clarity, honestly,
some of my deepest healing in having a strong self,
of strong sense of self in moments when I choose
(21:01):
peace over the pressure. So if you needed a reminder today,
I just I wanted to be the person to let
you know your value isn't tied to your output, and
you do not have to hustle in order to be whole.
And before we go ahead and we wrap this thing up,
(21:22):
I wanted to say something that's really important because with
this season ending, this is the version of you that
is blooming, evolving and becoming. And I want you to
know this is only the beginning. So don't rush the process.
Don't downplay your growth just because it doesn't look dramatic.
(21:44):
Small shifts can create big changes. And every boundary that
you hold, every honest conversation you have, every moment that
you choose peace, you are building a life that honors
who you truly are. So when you look back on
(22:05):
this version of yourself months from now, years from now,
hell decades from now, okay, I want you to smile
and I want you to say I did that. I
did the hard thing, I kept showing up, and I
did it with grace. Because you're not starting over. You
are the one that is starting to get wiser and
(22:28):
in this next season of your life, it's already waiting
for you. You are embracing more alignment, more clarity, more softness,
and more power. So with this being the season finale
of season six, I want you to take this episode
(22:50):
with you into your next season of life, whether that
is just a new mindset, whether you are moving from
one space to another, I want you to take this
with you. And some of the questions that I want
you to really reflect on as you are moving in
this transition is what have I let go of this
(23:13):
year that made space for something better? Where do I
need firmer boundaries to protect my peace? What version of
me am I outgrowing? And who am I stepping into?
And what does being her really look like for me?
I want you to write those down. I want you
(23:35):
to sit with it and don't rush it, because this
is the work, but is also the most beautiful part
of it. And so with that, I want to say
thank you. Thank you for showing up for me the season,
sometimes when I could barely show up for myself. Y'all
(23:55):
for listening to me ramble, for sharing your hearts with me.
This podcast has grown, I have grown, and I am
so proud of us. And as we close this season,
I really want y'all to know this. You don't have
to be louder to be heard. You don't have to
be colder to protect yourself, and you don't need to
(24:19):
chase what God has already ordained to be yours. You
are allowed to be soft and strong. You are allowed
to have boundaries and also be loving, and you are
allowed to be healing and also be whole. So we're
(24:40):
gonna take a little break. We will be back within
the next month. Do not worry. I will see you back.
Keep an eye out for when our season seven, Oh
my gosh, season seven premiere will take place, and we're
gonna be back next season with even more with with
more stories, more reflections, more truth. I'm really excited for
(25:04):
what season seven has in store for us. And yeah,
I'm so excited and I can't wait to take y'all
along on this journey with me. But of course I
have to end today's episode, especially our season six finale,
with a quote by the beautiful Maya Angelou. She says,
(25:29):
if you are always trying to be normal, you will
never know how amazing you can be. As always, y'all
here at Allison's Corner. God bless have an amazing day,
and thank y'all for listening to Alison's Corner. Thanks for
(25:51):
tuning in to Alison's Corner. If you enjoy today's episode.
Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it
with a friend who'd love to join the conversation. For
more context and updates, follow us on Instagram and YouTube
at Allison's Corner Pod. Until next time, be blessed.
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