Emerging Stronger: Season Two Begins

Welcome back to The Mariah Effect – Season Two is finally here! Get ready to dive deep into the raw and unfiltered world of Mariah as she spills the beans on all the juicy changes coming your way. With Jason taking a backseat, Mariah's ready to take the wheel and steer the show in a whole new direction. Expect shorter, punchier episodes hitting your ears every Tuesday and Friday at 7 am – perfect for your morning commute or that midday pick-me-up. Mariah's laying it all out on the table, sharing her triumphs, struggles, and everything in between.

So buckle up, folks – it's gonna be one wild ride!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.

Episode Transcript

(00:21):
I have been trying to restart thispodcast for months and months and months,
and I've recorded episodes. I havetried to figure out how to do this
the right way and how to wordhow things are going to change. I've

(00:42):
tried so many times, but Idon't know. Something about today told me
that it was the day it wastime to start again. Maybe it's because
I started listening to more podcasts recentlyand actually being able to focus in,
and it reminded me that the reasonI did this was not so that it

(01:04):
could be perfect, not so thatit could be exactly what I was thinking
in my head or to compete withother people. It was supposed to be
something that I did for fun,something that I did to distract myself or
maybe even find myself during my timeof hardship. And regardless of how I

(01:29):
feel about each episode, or whataudio could have been better, or what
idea could have been more carefully worded, or whatever it may be, I
definitely want to continue doing this.I put a lot of work, a
lot of effort, a little bitof money, and some serious emotion into

(01:56):
creating this, so I want tocontinue it, and I want to I
want to be better of course,I think we all do. When we
try and work on something, wewant to put our best efforts into it,
and we want to have our bestefforts get better and better and better
as time goes on. But Ineed to remember why I wanted to do

(02:17):
this, which is I wanted todo something fun. I wanted something that
would express my creativity in a waythat wasn't being expressed before. But with
that, we're going to jump intowhat my life is right now, and
then we'll talk about how this podcastis going to change slightly the last time

(02:40):
that we did this. The lasttime that we did this, I was
currently not working. I was tryingto get outside, be a little bit
more active. I think I evenspecifically didn't do a podcast for a month

(03:04):
or so and then said, oh, I'm back, you know, like
I'm going to do this every week. And then I didn't. And that's
just because I got incredibly sick,and I also just got so not stage
fright. That's not the correct term, because it wasn't like I was scared
or I wasn't worried about people listeningin or whatever. But I will say

(03:32):
that there was more people listening andit did make me think like, oh,
I can't just say whatever I want. I can't just be whoever I
am, because now these people havean expectation of me being funny or me
being insightful because I said one ortwo things. But like that was all

(03:53):
things that I created in my ownhead. Nobody said anything, Nobody you
know, commented anything crazy Like itwas just all me. And isn't that
the case normally, Like we areour own worst critic, we are our
own enemy when it comes to thingslike that. But anyway, I stopped

(04:19):
for a very long time, andin that time that I stopped, I
actually got a job, working withfamily and doing something that I had never
done before. To be honest,I've always been creative. I've always enjoyed

(04:40):
writing. I've done some writing professionallyfor a couple of things, but nothing
that I put my name on,nothing that I could have said was me
and paid, you know, justone off. It was never a steady
thing. But now I'm doing somethingwhere I'm using my writing abilities and I'm

(05:01):
using abilities that I didn't even knowI had, doing like graphic design stuff,
which funnily enough, I when Isaid that I knew how to work
in this program. It's called Canva. It's a website. When I said

(05:21):
I knew how to work with it, it's only because I had used it
for desktop backgrounds when I used towork at my other job and messed around
with it for hours because my jobbefore was working overnight and just monitoring people
overnight, so I didn't really havemuch to do all night, and so

(05:44):
I would mess with it for hoursand hours, and that's why I knew
how to use it really well.But I didn't even think of it as
being something impressive or anything like that. And so I started doing some I
guess you could call it graphic designwork for some workbooks and some you know,

(06:08):
pictures and elements for things online fortheir social media. The company that
I work for now, which I'mnot sure if I should say this or
not. I'm gonna talk to peopleand see if I can. But if
I can, the company is BeliefStatements, and it's incredible. I love
working there. I think it's gotsuch an impactful message and mission and it

(06:34):
truly makes me feel valued, whichis all I've ever wanted from a job.
It is only part time because ofyou know, me working through things
and dealing with my health and alsobecause that's what they need, is part
time work. So I don't know, we'll see. I might be doing

(06:56):
some other projects soon, maybe someoneJason who you know. But yeah,
so that I've been doing that,I've been doing pretty well health wise.
I haven't had a lot of baddays recently. I am not currently doing

(07:19):
any sort of cancer treatment right now. Right now, I'm focusing on my
loopus because in order to really doanything with my cancer, loopus needs to
be tackled first, because it's beingthe one that's problematic, being the one
that's like a thorn in my side. But once I can get my health

(07:42):
under control there, then we canmove forward with other things for my cancer.
Which is kind of confusing. Iknow, it's been a whirlwind of
doubt and uncertainty and ugh like itit's not even fear anymore necessarily, it's

(08:05):
more like irritation, which sounds likeI'm minimizing it, and maybe I am
in some ways, but like itjust feels like ridiculous at this point,
like it just seems like an inconvenience. It I'm not I'm definitely not healthy,

(08:31):
but like it's it's like the beforealmost where before I started doing chemo
and stuff like, I definitely wassick. I definitely wasn't myself. I
could tell that there was something wrong, but it was like a minor inconvenience
in my day. It was justlike this weird, nagging feeling. It

(08:54):
was like some days where I feltlike I couldn't really do much. I
couldn't like go out and about ifI went for a walk, it tired
me out, like that sort ofa thing. That's where I'm at now.
But it's definitely not like when Iwas doing chemo and could not get

(09:16):
out of bed, I could notwalk to the bathroom. I was throwing
up everything, I couldn't eat likeit was. It's not like that right
now. I have bad days whereit can be kind of like that,
where I'm throwing up and I can'tkeep food down, or you know,
something to that effect. I havedays like that, but it's not like

(09:41):
it's not it's not a constant,if that makes sense. It's like little
blips on my radar. I don'tknow if that makes sense, but that's
that's where we're at. So myhealth is not great. I definitely am
not going to be able to doa regular job anytime soon, like go

(10:03):
in work nine to five, comehome. I definitely won't be able to
do that anytime soon. But Ido feel a little bit better. I
feel like there's more things that Ican do, and I feel like there's
more time for me to do thosethings. And it's just kind of like

(10:24):
this thing in the back of myhead of like when is it going to
get worse? When is it goingto get better? You know, equal
sides. I think that my outlookon life has changed. I do think
that like I'm just going to keepdoing whatever I can. I'm just gonna

(10:46):
keep living my life as if asif it's this isn't happening, because I
think that focusing on the positive isgoing to really help my mindset and help
the things that I do every day. I think that being negative isn't going

(11:07):
to help anything. And even whatI was talking about before, of like
being realistic is something that I usedto say too, about the outcomes and
stuff like that, I think thatthat's also not really helpful, because I
mean it's just going to maybe,I guess prepare other people around me if

(11:30):
I talk in realistic terms for what'sto come. But at the end,
of the day. A loss isa loss like losing someone, regardless of
if you knew it was happening,if you were prepared for it to happen,
is still a loss. It stillis painful, it still hurts.
So I just think that me doingthat isn't benefiting anybody, and so why

(11:56):
am I doing it? It's awaste of time. So anyway, transitioning
into what is this podcast now?So when I started this podcast, it
was with Jason, and I knewthat he wanted it to be, you
know, me as a focus andhim as like, not even a co

(12:18):
host necessarily, just like somebody thereto help move things along, somebody there
to talk to during the episodes,like an ongoing guest. Basically is how
he viewed it. And when Istarted it, it was absolutely terrifying to
think of doing this by myself.And so I think he knew that.

(12:41):
I think he could see that inme, and so when we started it,
I definitely saw him as a cohost. I saw it as we
were going to do this together.Even though it's called the Mariah effect,
it was like in my head,I was making it the Mariah and Jason

(13:01):
Show. And so when things kindof got harder to schedule when we were
going to record together and what wewere going to talk about and stuff like
that. It became clear to methat, like he you know, he's
a super busy guy in the firstplace, and I knew that like having

(13:24):
this and being able to talk tohim was definitely a gift. And I
knew that at some point, eitherwe were going to have to do it
less often or it was going tohave to be like him being there sometimes.
Now what I am seeing for theshow is that I am going to

(13:48):
do shorter episodes because I don't knowif I can do like these long,
you know, hour long episodes allthe time when it's just me by myself,
especially with topics that I'm talking about. I think thirty minutes is a
good cap. So the shows aregoing to be shorter. But the positive

(14:11):
thing is that they're going to betwice a week. Now you heard me,
twice a week. Instead of itjust being on Fridays, it's going
to be on Tuesdays and Fridays,which is going to be kind of crazy
because Tuesdays is definitely a day thatis super busy for me normally. But
I think that I can pull itoff, and if I make a mistake,

(14:33):
I make a mistake. It ishow it is. But I am
really excited about it. I thinkthat it's going to be really a good
change, and I think it's whatthe show needed to be honest. Another
change to the show is kind ofwhat I'm going to be talking about the

(14:54):
Initially for the show, it wasgoing to be me talking about stories in
my life and reflecting on how theyimpacted me and how now I'm going to
affect other people with that. Youknow, it was this idea of me
finding compassion for the people in thestory or for myself even and I still

(15:20):
want this show to be about compassion. I still want it to reflect that,
but I think what's more important isto look at what I called the
show. I called it the MariahEffect, and I meant that as like,
what is the effect that I wantto have on the world. What

(15:41):
is the fact that I'm already havingon people around me? And that's kind
of where I want to take it. So I'm still going to be talking
about my interests. I'm still goingto be talking about, you know,
myself obviously, but I I don'tthink I want to keep it too just

(16:02):
talking about my stories from the past. And I don't want to just keep
it too talking about you know,my past. I want to talk about
my present. I want to talkabout my future. I want to talk
about you know, so many things. And so I think that the niche

(16:22):
of listening to this podcast is definitelygoing to be that you're going to witness,
you know, certain things for meon my own personal journey that maybe
you don't get to see for peoplebecause I am not going to hold back.
I'm going to say, you know, the things that pop into my

(16:45):
head. I'm going to say howI feel about life. I'm not scripting
this. This is all off thedome, as they say, off the
off the dome. I was goingto try and think of another one,
but I I couldn't think of itin time. But is off the cuff?
Does that? Is that, likecount is a saying for this in

(17:08):
this context? Let me know inthe comments please, Uh, I'm not
sure. But anyway, see it'stotally unscripted. Even that was unscripted in
showcasing that this is unscripted. Iwant to be clear, it maybe seems

(17:30):
like it wasn't or that it maybeseems like it was scripted, but like,
nope, nope, it's just youknow, those small miracles in your
day of things just working out thatway to characterize what you're talking about or
what you're saying anyway, I'm gonnajust say how would I think, would

(17:52):
I feel, what's happening? Allthat sort of stuff. I still feel
like I'm not going to go intoexact specifics about certain things pertaining to my
health, just because I feel likein a lot of ways I'm a private
person about that. But I'll probablyopen up a little bit more than I

(18:14):
used to, and I recognize thata lot of the people that are listening
in are people that worry about meand want to check in and see how
I'm doing. So I'll definitely workon trying to you know, be more
be more uh open about that stuff. But it's still probably I won't be

(18:41):
sharing everything did do, uh whatelse? I think it's just going to
be more varied as a podcast.It's definitely still going to center around,
you know, wellness and mental health. That's still going to be very much

(19:02):
about stories and characters in stories aswell. I just think that just sticking
to my story is not not thejust sticking to like my past stories,
is not the it's not the vibebut anymore anyway. So that's what this

(19:30):
is going to be now, andI think that that's all I'm going to
say for this first episode. AndI just really hope that if you are
listening and you listened before, thankyou so much for coming back, because
I understand I would understand if youdidn't. It was such a long break.

(19:51):
I totally understand, and I woulddefinitely apologize. But the thing is
is, I think I needed thatbreak to really reframe everything, and so
I'm working on not saying sorry forthings that I shouldn't feel sorry for.

(20:12):
So I'm what should I say.I understand that it was difficult to go
without it if you were really enjoyingthe show, and thank you so much
for enjoying the show, by theway, But I definitely needed the break.
I definitely needed time to figure outwhat it was going to be and

(20:34):
everything, and so just thank youso much for coming back and traveling along
this on my journey. And ifyou haven't heard the show and you're starting
here with season two, that's fun, that's exciting. You can just see

(20:56):
the show as it is now,or you can go back and learn you
know a little bit more about meif you don't already know me, or
hear you know, crazy stories frommy past that I shared or things that
I was really into last year onmy journey, and so yeah, thank
you so much for listening, andI will see you in the next episode.