Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to the Season of Self Love, your daily dose of inspiration and encouragement.
I'm your host, Nami Banks,and I am thrilled to be here
with you today. This podcast isbrought to you by Asks Naomi and Elevating
Me Self Discovery. Are you readyto elevate your mindset and embrace the power
of self love? Or if youcome to the right place Each day,
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we'll dive into topics that will empowerand inspire you on your journey towards self
discovery and personal growth. Whether you'relooking to cultivate healthy relationships, boost your
confidence, or find balance in yourlife, this podcast is here to support
your every step on the way.We believe that self love is the foundation
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of living and fulfill and joyful life, and together we explore practical tips,
insightful interviews, and transforming us storiesthat will leave you feeling inspired and motivated.
So join me Monday through Friday aswe embark on this daily adventure of
self love. Tune into the Seasonof so my podcast to start your day
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on a positive note and discover thelimitless potential within yourself. All right,
good morning and evening, good afternoon. Today is Wednesday, May twenty second,
twenty and twenty four and hey,my beautiful people, and welcome to
another episode of the Season and StuffLove Podcast. I'm your host, Lami
Banks, and today today we arediving deep into the power of attention.
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That is our word for today.You remember the month of May, We're
focusing on using our words impeccably andwhat better way to explore this is by
discussing how setting clear intentions can transformour lives. And joining us today,
you know our resident therapist doctor willhang you back. Yes, I'm feeling
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critical and caring right now. Ilike that critical acaring. So are you
ready for this topic? We hada great topic yesterday. You ready for
this one? Yeah? I am. I think that this topic is something
we talk about intentions so much,and I'm excited about being impeccable with it
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because I think that is well wehave not been. Yes, all right,
my beautiful but y'all know we needto take a quick break and then
when we come back, we're gonnatalk about this appeccable word intension and how
can we use it impeccably? RightDoctor will oh, yes, oh,
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yes, oh yes, all right, Integritty, God's every Bank's here on
the Season and Stuff Love Podcast.It will be right back. What are
some commoners that prevent people from Hey, Asia, gritty God is not Meny
Banks here from the Season and StuffLove Podcast. Yeah, I would say
remorse. So shame and guilt isa very dividing emotional and these are one
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of the many amazing conversations that wehave every day Monday and Friday. Right,
you're here on this season and podcastwith myself now and we Banks as
well as a resident therapist, doctorWill Washington, Washington. Well, it
makes it instant, come by allyof our relationship, come by a lot
of times that's fe afraid of howpeople will look at us, and so
(03:23):
that compassion can't enter it. Youcan hit us a little real season of
selling Love Podcasts dot com. Washingtonwells into two focuses on healing always for
me, if I look good,then I feel good. If I feel
good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then
I celebrate the good. If Icelebrate the good, then I live the
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good. So I can be paidto be my greatest, but I have
to learn the good to be thegood. So what does it take to
be the greatest? It's as simpleas a free fifteen minute consultation. Be
kind to yourself, and you'll alwaysall right, we'll welcome back, and
you got you gotta le me Bankshere on the season and seven the podcast,
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and I'm here with doctor Will.How's it going. I'm feeling full
and fearful of what's about to happen. Don't do that, and then you
know it? Then my laugh islike not this laughter, yes, like
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that. That wasn't nice. Thatwas not nice. You guys, you
know the month of May it isall about using our words. But today
the word is intention and how canwe use that word impeccably? Right?
So let's do this. Listen,y'all know how we do it. We
kick off with a quick guided meditationto help kind of clear our mind and
set the stage. How you knowwe're gonna be riching for today, all
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right, So take a moment,m find to comor to reposition, and
I'll take a nice deep breath in, filling your lungs with fresh hair,
exall slowly releasing any tension in yourbody. Now, bring your awareness to
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your heart center. Feel the energyand water radiating from this area, connecting
you to your deepest desires and yourintentions. Now, I want you to
picture upright, light glowing within yourheart is representing your purest intentions. Now,
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with each breath, I want youto feel this light expanding and illuminating
your entire being with positivity and purpose. Now, I want you to visualize
yourself moving forward with clarity and determination, guided by your intentions. I want
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you to see yourself taking steps towardsyour goals with confidence and focus. As
you continue to breathe deeply, Iwant you to repeat the following affirmations silently
or out loud. Alright, Iam aligned with my truest intentions. Repeat
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after me. I move through lifewith purpose and grace. Repeat after me.
My intentions manifest with ease and clarity. I want you to feel the
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power of your intentions growing stronger withinyou. I want you to embrace this
moment of stillness and connection as you'veset the tone for your day ahead.
Now, I want you to takeone final deep breath in and as you
exhale, I want you to gentlyopen your eyes, and I want you
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to carry this energy of your intentionswith you throughout the day. May your
intentions guide you towards a place offulfillment and joy. All right, all
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right, re beautiful people, Ithank you for sharing this moment with us
right now. And if you knewhere to the season and self love,
it's something that we do every dayMonday through Friday, to where we you
know, we ground ourselves and wecentered and we set to get ready for
our top. We can hand it. Today is all about intentions and how
we can use it impeccablely. Allright, how you doing over there,
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doctor Will I'm feeling so centered andlike charming right now. I like that.
I like that. Well. Inthis first segment, we're going to
talk about understanding the essence of intention. You know, I love that word
essence and understanding what it truly means, and intention is more than just a
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wish. It's a guiding line.It's the core. It's that core,
Yeah, that essence of the wordintention, and it embodies us. It
embodies us and purpose, direction andour conscious choice. So attention is the
quality of being deliberate, deliberate,awful of all's actions and decisions and goals.
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And it reflects in what we do, lexus, in our commitment to
pursuing yeah, desire, our clarity, our focus from you, doctor Will,
can you shed some light on whyclarity and purpose are so crucial when
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setting intentions? Yes, I wouldlove people to visualize intentions as wind.
Right. We have all these differentsailboats on water and it floats. But
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until you get wind, do youreally you don't really understand how to navigate
where you're going. Right, Ialready know I'm going from point A to
point B, But depending on howthe wind adjusts and changes how you get
there, it's gonna be very different. And so I always find that we
always have plans about what we want, what we need, what we think
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think, what we desire, whatwe think we deserve, and we always
have this yearning for something or orfor even intent, even internal desire,
and yet we find ourselves kind ofmisplacing intention because we don't know how to
set them right, to set theintention to you know, it's very hard
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because you know, I can't tellthe wind what to do, But what
I can do is help navigate myselfand adjust to what the wind is telling
me. And a lot of times, when you set an attention, you
are often set upon a journey,and that journey is guided by other intentions,
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and so Intentions are the only thingsthat are usually guided by themselves,
which is so unique. Then purposepurpose is usually guided by you know,
human awareness or or or self definitionor identity. But intentions are things that
are manifested in so many other ways. And so you know, there are
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multiple ways to set intentions. AndI think when we start breaking it down,
which I know we will today,I'm thinking about just being impeccable with
intentions and understanding how those actually form. So I hope that explanation really accept
the versatility of intentions and also thethe nature of an intention. Ye right,
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Yeah, so let's let's do this. I'm glad you said that.
So let's go about crafting what meaningfulintentions are. So that's kind of like,
you know, what is it?What are we doing? How would
you say, like the wind?We can't, you know, you need
the wind to kind of push it. That's what I was getting out of
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out what you were saying. Sowith us, the crafting the intentions that
resonate with us personally, you know, doctor Will, what tips can you
offer for listeners to formulate their intentionsthat are both clear and purposeful? Yes,
And first I'll say that when Iwhen I said about the wind,
it's about how once you set it, it flourishes. And so intentions start
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from within, and a lot ofus are reaching out for intentions, but
it actually starts from within, youknow. And then once you set that
intention, it's going to flourish intothe universe. It's going to touch people,
places and things, and they're gonnathose things are gonna move and adjust,
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and life is going to change.To navigate this path for you,
you have to be honorable to yourintention or you can fall off that path.
And so I think one of thefirst tips is understanding that intentions come
from within, they come from withThen I think that's the first, the
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first step into something, you know, with intentions, that's something we talk
about a lot here, and you'reright, it's more coming from within.
It's the inner of what you want. When you had said about the wind,
I understand it when I ain't gonnalie to stretching my head at first
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when you when you said the wind. But then I kind of understand what
you mean in that now. Soit's like once you said it and you
put it out there, now youjust have to allow the wind or life
to just allow it to happen andblossom and to move forward a lot of
times, and I can see thata lot of times when we do set
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those intentions, we sometimes just sitwith it and look at it and stare
at it, hoping that if whoyou know what I'm saying, like just
staying And then sometimes I believe thatwhen doing that that we kind of I
want to say, put a shouton it and not allowing the sun to
shine on it. Does that makesense? So it's like, you know,
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over and over it? So howhow can we not do that?
Like where? And I don't wantto say the confidence too, because that
that's what it is. Even thoughwe set intentions and I'm just being rare
when I say this, even thoughwe set the intentions from within m hm.
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Even with setting that intentions from within, well, I am about to
say that there is a lack sometimesthere's a lack of belief that comes with
it. Mm hmmm, Like howcan a person come out of that?
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Understand? You know what I mean? Because I understand, like I'm just
being real, I understand the purpose, I understand my purpose. I understand
all of that. And even whensetting my tent, it comes from within
here even why the beginning of thisshow started. I understand where I'm at,
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I understand why I'm here. Ienjoy why I'm here in this moment
and this this is gonna go backto yesterday about transformation. Yes, you
know what I'm saying. So inthat process, when you going through,
when you setting those intentions, thereis transformative things that are happening that,
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to be honest, sometimes you butI hold on, like I want to
hold on to a little bit ofthis, but you can't because it's not
a allowing you to set your attentionsthe way that's needed to be for who
this new you or this involved youis now. So I'm hoping that I'm
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not confusing nobody out there, butI'm on. That's very clear. That's
very clear. I mean, whatyou're saying is that intentions are an activator
of alignment. Intentions are activators ofalignment, and to have alignment it honors
the transformation that is occurring. Sothat's very clear with what you're saying.
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And I think when we start acknowledgingthat intentions are activators, you're activating an
alignment. And if you're not readyto be in alignment, it's going to
have a bounce back. There's goingto be a reaction, you know,
because you don't call upon an intentionunless you're willing to set it free.
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So yeah, like that's I think. I think if we're really talking about
being impeccable with intentions, we haveto understand that this word is being overused
and misused often because a lot oftimes we set intentions that are outside of
us and then we expect them toactivate some type of alignment when it never
even started from us. Yeah,yeah, that's very important, was I
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was. I've been in yoga situationswhere we talk about intentions and setting intentions
and a lot of times people aredistracted, right or they use the word,
but they don't hold accountability in that. Yeah, And so I have
to make sure that I'm making surethat my intentions are very personal. Or
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I choose one phrase that I knowhas stuck with my heart and then I
focus on only that phrase for theentire time to want to make sure I'm
manifesting that correctly. Yeah, becausebecause the reaction of making an intention from
ego can be really damaging. Mmhmmm mm hmmm, mm hmmm. I
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like that, And why I sayI like that is because I worked very
hard not to work, not tocome from And I don't want to say
ego, but I want to sayapproving worth. Does that make sense?
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That's afraid that's a real rephrase.So he says it again, proving worth.
M M, yes, I see, yes, yes. And so
when even when when I say thisright here, this right here, be
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making me, making it, makingme naked, it really do. And
when I sit and when I sitand I think about, Okay, what
we're gonna do for this month,Okay, what we're gonna do for them,
it'd be like, girl, youknow what you mean? Why are
you doing this? Why are youdoing all this stuff? You know what
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you're supposed to do here? Well, you know what you need? You
know, you know what you need. And so when going through doing the
research for everything, and just goingthrough just and when I say research,
I'm not just talking about looking througha book or you know, doing Google
online. It's even research from within. I have to look in from within
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experiences that I've been in in lifethat are a lie to what we're talking
about. Now, That's how Ican sit here and say, okay,
hold on, So I'm about totell y'all something with this and tuching set.
Sometimes it can be to where youthat way, whoa where is this
like coming from? Is this trulyhere we go? And this is where
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the authenticity come in. This iswhere all of this come in, and
it breaks breaks everything down, Andit's gonna be something else that's coming later
this week, We're gonna be talkingabout reflection. So it's like, is
it truly you? Or is areflection off of something else that you've seen
from your parents, from your lovedones, you know what I'm saying.
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So it's like all intertwined when wetalk about these different words, when we
talk about intentions, even when wetalked about the words transformation, even in
the words encouragement, it's just likethe words that we use with each other.
Are we using these words truly impeccablybecause of us or from experiences that
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we have with other people? Youknow? Yeah? And I'm so glad
you said that because I realize,even me recently, like intention and lack
of attention causes some of the worstforms of self worth. Right. If
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you don't have the right attention,you will look over your intentions, you
will underestimate your intentions. You willabuse or manipulate your intentions to be self
worthy, self self, self working, right, like you know, and
I don't want to pander to provingmy worth, right, pandering to your
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own worth is so self fulfilling.So and it's not it's not truly a
part of self love. Right.There's a level of faith and trust that
goes with intention. And I thinka lot of times our attention will define
the worth of that that that addressingit really does it? Really us?
Yeah, you know, it's it'sso let me let me. I'm gonna
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be honest. That's one thing thatI have battled with. And let me
tell you why I battle with.I don't promote like I'm supposed to.
I don't. And there are severalreasons why I don't promote, which is
fucked up. Excuse my language,but which is fucked up. But this
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is something that I'm working on thatdo they really want to hear this from
you? Then I have to takeit ain't a bottle, you understand,
say, this ain't about you,because those who will listen will listen,
those who will watch, who willwatch then? And I'm just telling you
what these these are things that Ibattle with and that you know that I'm
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steady working on and that's what yousee, Like for a good month,
you'll see me posting three or fourtimes a day on you know, with
asking my own season and scept love, pushing different things is coming that I
know that people need, that Iknow what people need. But then I
shut down and I'm like, okay, am I doing too much? And
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my pandering out there to you know, so people can see me in a
different light? What are you doing? And then I have to check myself
out. You don't give it,You really don't give it. THEMN what
they're saying, now, you're allowingthe old version of you to come in
here. When you on a roll, go tell how to go sit down?
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Yeah, yeah, go tell herto sit down? So what triggered
that? So now this is whereI'm at, Okay, what trigger that?
And I'm telling you, I'm tellingy'all listeners, this will happen when
you on a good ass rolling,you rolling, and you like yes,
then it's gonna be something that comein and be like WHOA, what the
(23:52):
hell that comes? You know?And I hate to say it like this,
you know, because of what recentlyhappened we were just talking about before
we started recording, and I waslike, my heart started getting hurt.
Now I'm getting mad, and I'mtrying to like neutralize it. I'm trying
to, you know. And Irealized that it's not that I was just
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mad. I realized that I wastrying to be intentional about my life.
You're reminded me of a part ofme that I left. I no longer
subscribe to that lifestyle. I nolonger subscribe to that behavior. I no
longer subscribe to pandering to that BecauseI realized that I was standing in your
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fire and I was enabling whatever youneeded. I'm trying. I am a
recovering rescuer, and so I amno longer willing to stand in your fire
anymore. And so my first reactionwas actually to give a call and just
be like, what's going on?Because I know this is not about me?
And I feel bad because I'm actuallyangry at myself for being that person
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that was. I might even madat you. I'm mad at myself because
I was like, how did Ilet this happen? You know? And
so I had to set an attentionwhen we were doing the meditation which I
very much appreciate. I appreciated themeditation because it made me recognize that I
was angry that I had to besomebody that I didn't like, but that's
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who I need to be during thattime, because that's all I felt like
I could do, And so Ihad to forgive myself. I had to
give embrace my grace like you talkedabout, yes, and accept that whatever
I bring up, it's not becauseI continue to be someone I don't appreciate.
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It's because I brought up because ofsomeone I am becoming to love.
Yes, And so I'm very intentionalabout how I will respond and speak to
you. There's no malice, there'sno anger, there's no doubting you.
I realize where you're at and I'mstill there and I still care about you.
I still but I have to holdmyself discipline because I believe in my
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reward. Yeah. Yeah, Andso that was hard because you know,
like they said, if you wantan easy life, no, do the
hard things now. If you wanta hard life, enjoy the things you
got. Yeah. You know,as you were as you were talking,
all I thought about is transformation.We're gonna go back on yesterday's about us.
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He's still there. Yes, youcan't have one with the others,
you know. And this is howthis show just ended like that, just
flow like that, you know,even a conversation that we had before we
push you know, record on this, you know, and it's like wow.
But even in the process, it'sjust like, Okay, wait a
minute, let's we're about to bereal here. And it's not just your
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thing, because trust and believe it'sprobably ninety nine percent of the people that's
out there that's going through the samething. And even though we had an
amazing show yesterday talking about transformation onour life, it still goes with our
intentions as well, because that allowedour intentions to be as genuine as it
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could be. Does that make sense? Yes? Yes, Yeah, makes
much sense. He said it sowell, and I hope you, I
hope your listeners really hear how you'rephrasing it. Yeah. Right, It's
like you are continuing to transform andthere are so many works that are happening
in that moment, and your intentionsare the alignment. Yeah, that's the
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alignment that is litmus tests, right, that's gonna let you know if this
is good, bad, or uglythat's what it is. Your intentions we're
gonna are gonna, are gonna workfor you. Intentions work for you,
not against you. Yeah, yeah, truly you know. And so I'm
curious, like I'm curious, howyou see the difference between a prayer and
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an intention? How do you seethe difference? Very curious, you know,
with me, I pray with intentions. Ah okay, mm hmm okay,
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that makes sense. I love that. I love that is that's good.
Wow mm hmmm. Yeah. WhenI when I I what I say,
that word the Four Agreements truly helpedchange my life. It has understanding
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that words are truly powerful. Understandingthat at one more one point in time,
I was on a receiving end ofwords that were just so breaking your
your spirit, you know, breakingmy spirit. And I knew I never
wanted anybody to feel that way,and so I would speak into people.
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But can I be honest, ittook me a minute to get there,
because back in the day, youwould have kept me. Back in the
day, I would have ripped yourearth to pieces with my mouth, with
my words. What I'm saying,but that came from hurt. You know
what I'm saying that's what that camefrom. And I had to learn that,
No, I don't want nobody tofeel that way. I don't want
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them to feel the way that Iwas feeling. And even though a lot
of it came from hurt, butI still loved that person. But I
had to go back and say,you know, I'm truly because I didn't
even mean none of that, butthat's how I felt in that moment because
I was trying to hurt you beforeyou hurt me, you know, And
that's the wrong thing to do.But that's the things that I was taught.
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So now I said, the pastthirty years of my life, all
I do is talking to people,talk into people. I can just meet
you just and you sitting there havinga conversation, and I will look at
you and just spit words because Ifeel you and I'm able to just,
you know, speak because I don'tever want anybody to feel the way that
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I felt when I was talking toyou. Know what I'm saying because those
first they those words hurt, andnot only do they hurt, they hold
weight in bruises up, you know, on you. That's why I work
negative words like abandonment. That's aproblem for me because I helped build my
(30:34):
character or who I am. Youknow what I'm saying. That helped me
who I can depend on, Thatmade me love me even more. Does
that make sense? Yeah? Yeah? And I think and I hate to
say it, but a lot ofpeople fear their own pain, right,
they fear their own pain. Ialways find that the stronger the pain,
(30:56):
the stronger the gifts when you getthrough it. Mm hm, I do.
And I noticed that to people's pain, they find the true gift of
what they were actually caring. Andso when you set your intentions, you
also set your intentions to free youfrom things. You set your intentions to
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accept things you don't have to accept, intentions to go get things for you,
and also remove yourself and allow thoseintentions to actually remove your own internal
chains that you have, and youhave your words have the power to release
you. And you think about howmany people don't know how to speak positively
into themselves. You know your bodycan react to negative words. Man,
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you ever met a person that andI just want to hug them? They'll
be like, I just want tohug them. That every time you have
something positive to say, they willfind a negative within themselves about themselves like
oh my god, you know,and I remember doing that. I remember
(32:07):
a moment in my time. Iused to do that, and it was
very hard for me to accept acompliment because I was like, Hey,
what you giving me that for?You know, like, what do you
got up your sleeve? No?What what am I about to do?
Yeah? You know? And attimes I had to learn like, no,
(32:29):
just take it. Understand what thatis. Understand who you are,
regardless of nobody else understands. Youhave to understand who you are. That's
why. Knowing about your intentions,making sure you are aligning your actions with
your intentions. Even when I said, when I sit down, sometimes I'm
(32:51):
like, you know, what isit for? I asked myself these questions.
Is this true? And I haveto because I've been on a spade
for fifty one years. I can'tjust up healed in five or six years.
You know what I'm saying. Thoseold options come come in that's triggered
by people in your life that isnot going to changes. Ain't trying to
(33:15):
change, ain't trying to look atthe ship. But they're going to come
and challenge you. I'm so gladyou said that because I don't. I
don't expect. I don't expect peopleto to because they know because they know
healing. I don't because I know, because because you know healing doesn't mean
(33:37):
I expect you to change. Forwhat I do expect is for you to
know what you aren't doing mm hmmm, or respect change, you know.
And and I think, I think, and I hate to say it like
this, I'm so glad you saidthat, because people don't like to respect
people's change. And and I don'tmean to bring this topic back up,
(34:00):
but when we saw that video,everybody was like, oh, this ingenuous,
this is the this is how couldhe you know, y'all know what
I'm talking about, and and andand so it's like, why can't we
respect that they changed? What isit about us? That's I'm curious?
(34:25):
What? What? What? What? What were we? What were we?
What were we expecting? What werewe expecting from him? Because I
wasn't expecting anything from him, SoI I just want to know what were
we expecting? Hope, But youknow, let me say that, seeing
(34:47):
that, I said, you knowwhat the problem was is that, oh
my god, he had already cameout, so he was already told you
know what I'm saying, So therewas nothing else that you can say.
But there was people that was lookingfor hope because to be very honest,
(35:07):
they've seen them in one way.They've seen them as this big star you
know, that changed the culture thatright, you know what I'm saying,
that move everything. And when youhave those heroes like that, because a
lot of a lot of us havethose like on the rail Bill Cosby,
who whatever, talk that this willbe happening. I still love Doctor Hussable,
(35:30):
Bill Cosby. I'm a little upset, but I still love Doctor Huxtable.
But you understand R. Kelly,You understand what I'm saying. So
when you think about these certain thingsand why I'm speaking on them, because
we talking about black people, weretalking about our culture, we talk about
our community of people. When wesee people in that light that is so
bright and we feel this right,we want to try to hold on that
(35:53):
as much as possible. But alsoyes, but also will we have to
recognize is that there was a lotof darkness m h. Before there was
light, and there was no healingin those moments at all. So what
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happened in our home community is thesame things that's gonna happen out in that
world. So if ain't nobody gettingno healing, ain't nobody thinking about how
to tap into the sept love orgetting over All we did was just take
this that was in that house,that house, that house, and put
it on a whole another level,right on a big stage everybody can watch
(36:35):
and see. And it was justcovered up with some nice little glitter,
nice little money and sunshine, andit was gone. But these people that's
hurting, they were hurting. R. Kelly told you he was being there.
Yeah, all of that stuff.And then when you see the same
people that's taking up for them,that's because it's the same people and families
(36:57):
that do that that take up Youhear people why she ain't say nothing or
conditions, tell me that you havenot been and I ain't gonna say relationship,
but not seeing any relationship with domesticabuse. I know. I saw
my auntie get shocked by her husband. Mm hm, you know what I'm
(37:20):
saying, And she did not leavehim right Well, where was her friends?
Where was her family man? Wherewas her brothers? Now, everybody
wants to be a professional, andeverybody wants to be a professional after the
moment it happens, like you justyou think, just just just I'm trying
to interrupt you. But like,like the amount of women that DM me
that are in marriages, and they'rein their churches, and they d m
(37:46):
me saying my husband is hurting me, can you help me? I have
to delete this message and they goaway. I get dammed all the time
about this so much the point Iactually just started a dev anonymous group for
women in churches. I call themrefugee women, refugees, marriage refugees because
(38:09):
they have to find a place.They cannot go back home because once they
leave, going back home might bethe end of their life. They can't
go to their church because the churchwants them to stay quiet they want and
then then when they act out,then why did they act like this?
Why did they do this? Whydid they? No one took the time
(38:29):
to address, and then they haveall the answers, why didn't you just
call this? Well? Why didn'tyou? You don't know until you are
there, you know. And it'sthe thing is people don't understand is that.
And just recently police started making towhere marriages and relationship was even a
domestic violence. They wasn't even thinkingabout. They were like, no,
(38:52):
that's something you got to deal withit in your home. And when I
say i've seen this from my intheir relationship with their husbands, I've seen
it for myself. Like I said, man, it's been many times.
My mother was like, no,we over here. Let's come over.
(39:13):
Like, I don't want you tosee any of those things, but this
is what was around. You callthe police, the police be sitting there.
We're like, ma'am, just goin a house, let him,
you know, soak that off orwhatever, and it's gonna be okay.
And that's how it was. Rememberthe I don't know if you ought enough
to remember the burning bed. Rememberthat movie. Yeah, of course,
(39:35):
remember that movie to burning bed thatthat is, that's a whole other thing.
And but but but think about howmuch we see feel no and don't
do and then we bring it up, Oh we need mental health services.
Oh we need more therapists. Wedon't need more therapists. We need accountable
(39:55):
adults. We don't need any more. Well, we need more black therapists.
I'm sorry, but the therapists can'tdo anything either unless you're a child.
I really like that's the only reasonmaybe maybe maybe no Sasha care,
(40:15):
and then then you're in a wholeother situation and you're not you're displaced.
So like, let's be real here, Like let's have a real conversation about
this. We want to talk aboutintentions. We're really not making intentions.
We're masking accountability by saying mental health. Right now, we're not talking about
(40:36):
mental health anymore. Let's talk aboutthe real work. We're not talking about
this and the accountability and lack ofaccountability. And you're mad about oh Diddy
do this and and arkady, I'mlike, you realize how many adults were
before R. Kelly became R Kellydid not step up in that moment.
But we don't even want to talkabout that because we don't want to talk
(40:57):
about that. We want to hurtthem while he's in this light. We
don't want to help them in itsdark. We don't want Black communities do
not want to help people in theirdark. That was the church's job.
That was a church's job. Thatwas the church's job. Oh you don't
want to talk about that. Thatwas a church's job. And we failed
and we failed, and then wewant to blame mental health well, social
(41:17):
workers, they're taking kids out ofthe house. Well, why did the
work have to even take kids outof the house. Why aren't the adults
being adults and protecting these children.Why do the social workers even have to
even do that? Why are youmaking a stigma on us when it was
your family that started in the firstplace. It was your uncles, it
(41:39):
was your cousins. And then youwant to be mad at the black mothers
that would literally be high strong aboutsleeping over people's houses and not doing none
of that. They don't let mebe a kid because they knew that adults
weren't real. So like, like, even as a mental health advocate,
(42:00):
let's really talk about accountability. Ican only do so much. Yeah,
I refuse to stand by that.I can't like. There's way too much
dark, and even the light canblind you as much as the dark.
So I don't care how light youare, how great you're see. I
want to know that the brighter youare, the darker you probably were.
(42:22):
Let me tell you something. Whenyou made the statement about we don't need
any more therapist, that we needaccountability, that rang so loud to me.
It rang so loud to me.There's a loved one that is going
through something right now and their fathercan't take accountability for their lack of m.
(42:54):
Yeah, that's so hurtful. Andwhen you see when as you say,
I'll see it, m M,it's like you want to just go
and you just want to shape theship out of them. Yeah, like,
(43:14):
don't you see what you've done toyour See what you've done to yourself?
Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? And then that's I'm tired,
I ONMI, I'm tired, I'mtired, and and and I'm I'm I'm
I'm I was sick of my ownstuff. So the fact that I'm holding
(43:36):
space with people that aren't ready toactually own themselves. But then when they're
willing to do the work, andthen they realize what they've actually done to
themselves, well, what they've doneto other people. And then when they
finally get through that part of gettingthrough what they did to other people,
they realize what they've done to themselves, and then they then the third step
is understanding what they've actually been throughto make them able to do the things
(43:59):
that they've done to other people.Their language changes, their space changes,
the way they listen changes, theway they hear people changes, and they're
able to have those hard conversations.And I'm telling you, I wish,
I wish the black community would understandwhat they've been through. And it hurts
(44:27):
like I could cry right now thinkingabout this. Just you know, you
don't want to watch any more slavemovies because you don't like how it feels.
Well, you need to keep watchingthose because you haven't learned the lesson
yet. That's why they keep makingthem, because you haven't learned yet.
And I don't like slave movies.I don't, but I watched them until
(44:50):
I see change because I almost forgotwhat it was like growing up black.
My experience was not just my ownexperience is not bl I understand historical,
I understand the systematic. I understandthe racial. I need to stand the
judicial. I need to stand thecommunity. I need to understand the financial
(45:10):
occupational. I need to understand thespiritual. I need understand the entertainment and
music and artistic expression of black history. Yeah, we have been denied it,
and we've been denying ourselves so longthat when I set an intention,
and we talk about ancestors and intentions, Yes, what ancestors are you talking
to? If you don't even wantto listen to your own history, what
(45:35):
ancestors are you speaking to? Whatancestors do you do you want to talk
to all ancestors were good? No, So what is our intention here?
Yeah? And I think that's whatirks me. That irks me because I
can get mad at myself for whatI've done in my past, but I'll
(45:57):
be damned if I deny it andact like I'm trying not I'm trying to
change, I'll be down. Andsomeone tries to take me away from that.
And what I heard on that videoand I saw most comments, and
I think about all these celebrities,there's a there's a weight, there's a
weight, and there's no intention beingset. There's no intention being set.
(46:22):
It's it's it's it's pomp and circumstance, right, respectability politics, mm hmm.
And I think I think we justhave to get away from that.
I need accountability and I need itfor myself. And I'm and I and
I and I and I'm okay withthat. And I think that it's just
(46:43):
I mean a rant like this,but it's just it irks me to see
the lack of self awareness. Butthat's it's beautiful what you said. And
I understood everything that you said,and I I believe that is where my
transformation started happening twelve years ago inthe closet. Yeah, twelve years ago
(47:07):
in the closet. Yeah. Andso I was able to be accountable for
my shit and go apologize people orhow I treated them more, you know
what I'm saying, How I changedmyself because of them or what I thought
because of them, But it wasme and nothing to do with them,
you know. And going through that, yeah, it does. It's changed.
(47:38):
My language has changed so much.When people say she don't play,
I didn't. I didn't play atall. I didn't play with nobody.
But I always had a loving heart. And now you can truly see it.
Before you couldn't. Now you trulycan see it. But not only
(47:59):
that, is that my love forpeople the world. It hurts so much
when when I look at comments,when I just hear people speak, especially
loved ones that like, oh myGod, like can I give you some
(48:22):
of my heart? Can I giveyou some of my spirit? Because a
lot of times people are broken spirits. Yes, And I want to be
clear to your listeners that it's okayto be a broken spirit, it's okay
to be hurt, it's okay tocome in. And that's why you're here,
(48:43):
right, You're here because you're lookingfor something to change. Yeah,
And I think even listening to thislets me know that your intentions are trying
to manifest into something more at thisvery moment, and you are enough and
you've already done enough to deserve itby just being here. Yeah, you
(49:07):
know, and I think sometimes we'relooking for someone to give us a green
light, and it's really ourselves.Yes, yes, yes, So while
you here, doctor, will youknow it's something that we're doing for these
next two weeks and we're towards theend of the show, but I always
want to do to where we kindof reflect on what we were talking about
(49:30):
today. And I know I startedoff with the meditation, a guided meditation,
and I wonder if you can,you know, kind of help us
to you know, kind of bringit back a little pause and kind of
take us through a nice little guidedmeditation. So what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna give you a moment.I'm gonna take a break, and then
when we come back if you don'tmind, if you go ahead and take
us still, Okay, of course, all right, thank you, all
(49:52):
right, integrity guys. Nay Bankshere on this season of Self Love Podcast,
and we will be right back.Get ready for an exciting month of
inspiration and empowerment on Ask Naomi Bridgingthe Gap. Join us every Thursday at
six p m Live on ask Naomidot com, or dive into the conversation
on Naomi's World YouTube channel. Markyour calendars for May twenty third, as
(50:16):
we welcome fitness instructor, nutritionist andowner of Phoenix Tribe Fitness Marcy Scott,
who has transformed her life and ishere to guide you towards healthier living and
healing. And wrapping up the monthon May thirtieth, don't miss our special
guest, a neuroscientist turned adult contentcreator and fishing influencer Isla Moon, bringing
(50:37):
a unique perspective to the conversation.Tune in all month long for these incredible
guests and more only on Ask NaomiBridging the Gap. Let's bridge the gap
together and I will welcome back mybeautiful people is Suguri Gaddist Things here on
(51:00):
the season and Self Love Podcast andI'm here with doctor Will. We just
had an amazing show today. Ithas we have went on some highs.
We have been on some highs todaytoday. We had definitely been on some
highs today. And you know,we were talking about this is the month
of Mental Health Awareness Month, andand on Monday we kind of started off
(51:23):
with is kind of you know,putting into metaic guided meditations for us in
the beginning, in the end ofeach show because we know a lot of
the times the shows does get veryhigh to where we want to take a
pause and kind of bring us backand center ourselves again. And before the
break, I asked, like thewill if he will kind of guide us
through, So I'm going to,you know, pass the torch over to
(51:45):
doctor Will. Doctor Will, Yes, so, you know, just for
centering right. You asked me thequestion, you know, why am I
here? And I think it's it'svery simple. Actually, I'm here because
(52:05):
I believe in healing, because I'velived a life where I didn't know I
was allowed to do that, andI think many of us have not been
allowed to do that. And whathappens to us when we don't. We
hurt ourselves and then we end uphurting other people. And so I'm here
(52:32):
because I believe in healing. Ibelieve in the way that you believe in
healing, Naomi, and if wecan share that vision, yeah, I'll
never say no, thank you,thank you. I appreciate that. I
(52:52):
appreciate m all right. So youjust death of Center and I thank you.
I thank you for that. Thatwas thank you m hm. Yeah,
and your listeners are also believing ittoo, and I think that's that's
just what this is about. Whenyou're monkst like minds. This is tribe.
(53:16):
Yeah, yep. And when Isay thank you people, my beautiful
people, I chily do thank you, Doctor Will, I do thank you.
I thank you. I understand morethan ever while you are in my
life. My still friends, yes, still friends, like seriously, and
(53:44):
like I had started, I wassaying, while the opening intro was coming
in, so let me share thiswith you all before before we started today's
show. You know, doctor Willand I, you know, we're talking
and I was like, I feelI feel something. Then I said,
I was, I feel kind ofI went to like some sage and I
(54:06):
said, I said, I don'tknow why. I feel like I need
to put on a seat belt.I don't know why I need to put
on a seatbelt and why I'm puttingon that seat belts because we are getting
ready to take an amazing ride.Yes, we are getting ready to take
(54:29):
an amazing ride. And that seatbeltis to let me know that I'm good.
That imaginary seatbelt that is of safety, that came across my chest,
across my heart to let me knowthat it's safe. It's safe to go
(54:50):
on this ride. It's safe togo on this ride with doctor Will.
It's safe to go on this rightright here on this platform. So I
thank you all for allowing me,giving me the platform to be able to
say this, to speak this andsay this. I don't care if it's
ten to twenty one hundred, tenthousand million people here. I thank you
(55:15):
for the smiles, and I thankyou for the lines, and I thank
you for that seat belt. Ithank god, thank you for that seat
belt. Thank you. It's beautiful. Yeah, truly prepared. Yeah,
(55:37):
embracing uncertainty as you said earlier.Yes, yes, that's a part of
that trends oooh yes you did it, yes, yes, yes, yes,
all right, my beautiful people.Well that is all for today's episode.
(56:00):
It's all about the impeccable words.It's about setting intentions. I mean,
we talked about this attention and wewouldn't be we went somewhere else with
but guess what happened. We cameright back around to attention. It was
just like a full circle. Itwas a full and anyway, I have
my notes here in majority of thestuff we didn't even I didn't even say,
(56:22):
we didn't even speak it. That'swhat I love that we can do.
That. That's to go straight fromour heart of what we're going through.
And like I said, the researchthat I do that we do it
ain't just through the books, itain't just online the heartness through our own
experiences. So just like how theseexperiences you do too, the thing is
(56:45):
that you have to embrace those experiencesand understand how they are in your life
and how you're going to allow themto present them in your life. That's
what a healing comforts from. That'slike we plead with chess. You get
all the pieces, now, howyou're gonna play them? Yeah? How
(57:10):
are you gonna? Yeah? Howyou gonna play them? All? Right?
Beautiful people, So until next time, let's continue to explore the power
of self love and remember that youare always worthy. All right, I
thank you have a good one.Thank you for listening to the Season of
(57:34):
Self Love podcast and we hope thatyou enjoyed this fun field with inspiration and
empowerment and self discovery. Remember practicingself love as a journey and not a
destination. For more information and tostay connected with us, visit our website
at the Season of Self Love podcastdot com and if you have anys or
(58:00):
questions or feedback, feel free toshoot us an email at Season of Self
Love at gmail dot com. Anddon't forget to follow us on Instagram and
Facebook for daily doses of self love, tips, motivation, and community support.
So join our Facebook group the Seasonof Self Love to connect with like
(58:22):
minded individuals on their journey to selfdiscovery and self compassion. Thank you again
for being a part of our communityand dedicating to nurturing self love and embracing
self work. So stay tuned formore exciting episodes and guests in the next
season, and remember you are worthyof love, kindness, and all the
(58:45):
happiness in the world. So untilnext time, take care of yourself and
spread love wherever you go. Seeyou soon.