June 14, 2023 • 30 mins
This is it, the grand finale of our 2nd season! In this episode we recap our engagement weekend and reflect on how in the hell we got here!
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(00:01):
Welcome to What's Happening Here. Thisis a podcast we're finding the perfect and
balance of being a parent, apartner, and a person without losing the
things that matter most to you inthe process, like your sanity. You
might know me as doctor Sarah,the Brain Gal. I'm a pediatric nurse,
psychologist, and mom of two whotranslates brain science to everyday life.
I see all kids, really allpeople like little brains. You probably don't
(00:23):
know me. I'm Kevin, Sarah'spartner in crime, bourbon aficionado, discussor
of all things, and father oftwo. We started this podcast because we
saw a big gap between research andpractice, especially when you have a unique
family structure like ours, and wewanted to share what we've learned and hopefully
what we continue about navigating our livesthrough the lens of brain science with a
big old helping of reality mix there. We know there are lots of families
(00:47):
that look like ours, or kindof like art, or maybe look nothing
like ours, which makes finding asingle source of guidance and advice so hard.
But we're going to try to helpyou, so join us as we
try to figure out what's happening here. I love Hey, baby, I'm
a little long cloud nine right now, coming down from a weekend we will
(01:07):
tell everybody about, but probably oneof my favorite weekends of my entire life,
Thank you very much. But we'reback to Lucky thirteen baby, final
episodes, season two. I feellike she's we've come a long way.
I mean, that's twenty six episodes. I love when you do this.
I don't think about it like that, You're ready. Twenty six that's a
lot. Yeah, that's a lotof talking, a lot of talking,
(01:29):
a lot of life lived. Yeah, there's been a lot. Just think
we talked a lot about what washad built up to the first thirteen episodes,
Yeah, in in our world,and then in the last thirteen episodes
this one included, We've covered alot of ground from the last time.
Yeah, we were in this spot. You know what I love about it
(01:52):
is they're like thirteen weeks of ourlives and snapshots each year. You know.
I listened back to the last episodeof season one earlier and just thinking
about all the things we were thinkingabout at that moment and just reference to
the fortieth birthday podcast of leaving legaciesand things you're leaving behind, Like just
(02:13):
thinking about you know, the kidslistening to them when they're our age at
some point, you know. AndI think there's been themes, right,
like season one theme. Well,I think season one was around you know,
finding yourself. You know how importantit was to you know, sometimes
put yourself first, and the importanceof you know, sutting off that old
(02:37):
skin and finding your new new one, like understanding yourself, what makes how,
why things work certain ways how theydo, and figuring out what makes
yourself to say, how you balancethat with being you know, a Burden
Purton partner person, I like it, parent person, partner throwback. Yeah,
(03:00):
yeah, yeah, Yeah, Ithink you're right. I think it's
about finding all those things together.And then I feel like season two was
about not just finding yourself, butto me it was it was like finding
ourselves together. Yeah. I thinkwe have made major strides, both individually
and collectively, and I think,you know, we've learned a lot from
(03:23):
that. And I think that's whatwe're attempting to share, you know,
is you know, the insights thatwe've gleaned from life in this craziness that
involved in Yeah, and when Isay finding ourselves together, I don't mean
as a couple. I mean,I don't know if you remember, and
perhaps I'm sharing a little too much, but one point I said to you,
(03:45):
you know, my promise to youwas to support you in finding yourself
and that being one of our goalsas a couple would be to make sure
that you feel whole, you know, and of course me feel a whole
too. And I feel like whenI say finding ourselves together, you know,
it's individually finding ourselves and then movingforward together. Yeah, like what
(04:06):
you hear my voice? I haveno voice weekend? Hear your voice.
We had a big celebration this weekend. We did. Yeah, yeah,
somebody finally turned forty. I thatthe celebration. Yeah, yeah, yes,
we did finally turned forty. I'min the same decade as you know,
(04:27):
like officially, not like we weretalking about it two episodes ago.
Yes, yes, it's actually happened. I know that bothers you a lot
when I say things I've learned inmy forties, but i've learned for you
were talking about at the time youwere still thirty nine, and like two
weeks to go as I turned thingsI've learned as I turned for you are
ahead of things normally that's a littleI pushed it too, push a little
(04:48):
bit envelope. Yeah, I thinkit was. It was a big it
was a big birthday. But Ifeel like again going back to like finding,
I guess what it is, baby, is you feel like you found
yourself? Yeah, like I feelyou feel that from you and that's pretty
cool. It is. It's ait's a weird feeling, you know,
(05:11):
like when if you haven't felt thatbefore, or if you haven't felt it
in a really long time. Andyou know, there were things that that
were impacting us that you know thatI think we work through that you know,
enabled not just enabled us to thrive, but you know, enable us
individually to grow and to be youknow, the people that we wanted to
(05:32):
be. And one of those was, you know, the ability to do
that in a partnership, you know, having the freedom to you know find
you know myself and to find whoI wanted to be and to be supported
in that effort. But it's nota past tense, right, Like,
what I think is the coolest thingis it's not you found it. You're
(05:55):
good, right, It's this abilityto continually find yourself and to get tinually
grow and to continually change. Iforget what we were watching. Maybe you'll
remember listening to but somebody was talkingabout how you know, one of the
issues with relationships is you say,well, that person's changed, right,
you know, um, but ina relationship, you should change, you
(06:15):
should grow. You want growth,right right. We talk all the time
about brain connections and growth and raisingkids' brains, but we're also raising our
own. And as you experience thesethings, you know everything each day,
you know, I hope I continueto grow, you know, I have
a lot of personal growth. Iwant to do professional growth. I want
to grow as a mom. Iwant to grow as a wife, you
(06:35):
know, as a partner. Ijust really I don't think that's a static
thing. So we talk about findingyourself like, oh, I found it,
but that's not really the case,right, I think you're right,
it's it's you know, in myyou know, in different people are different
cases, you know, like comingout of the out of the darkness,
like Aaron and Span a football reference. No, I was like, look
(07:00):
at Aaron Rodgers. Yeah, hewent into the darkness to find himself and
then he decided that he wanted toplay for the Jets. Yeah, anyway,
I'm sure other people get that.I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure
our major number one fanily Oh mom, he's not talking about youth, So
who's a joke? Yeah? No, I think it is this, Like
(07:24):
you know, you, we havedone a lot of work, and this
podcast does allow us. We talkedabout it last season, but it does
allow us to have that time,that thirty minutes to really walk through things
and to frame things. I thoughtthat was therapy that we and therapy right,
like, we do a lot ofwork. It's a lot of work,
and you know, I think it'sall built up to our thirteenth episode
(07:46):
of season two. You want totell people what happens, Well, you
had a birthday at the dinner YadA, YadA, YadA. Working out on
Friday was hard. Well, Ithink I'll just just spilled beans. I
was going to wait till the middlethat I can't read it. Oh you
don't want to win, No,go for you. This is why I
(08:09):
didn't know why you don't. Iasked Sarah to marry me on her birthday
and she said yes. I didsay yes. Well first I laughed,
Yeah, it was more like abecause well you should tell people, so
all right, So Uh, probablyabout a month or so ago, we
(08:33):
were following a therapy session, anintense and the very intense about our future.
That might have been mad at ourtherapist when I left, which it
happened all the time, but Iwas not happy with rum because he suggested
I figure out why I might wantto get married, and that kind of
was not really that's a whole otherepisode. Um. And in a moment
(08:56):
of weakness in that phone conversation,I used a phrase out of context,
and that was ill advised. Istarted a sentence with the words I'd like
to propose, and given the contextof the conversation, it was probably the
(09:16):
worst phrase to use at that moment, because I was not, in fact
proposing marriage over the phone. Iwas proposing an idea that was an attempt
to try to solve our issues orto address or to understand each other better.
Yet and I think you immediately knewwhat I was not trying to do
(09:41):
and knew how upset I was atmyself for using that phrase, and proceeded
to make fun of me. Whackand make fun of me, which actually
broke the ice. That was aperfect moment, unintended unin and then has
since become like a punchline that evenyour father has gotten in on using.
(10:03):
I may or may not have paidhim to do that. Right, So,
so we'll be sitting at the dinnertable or something, and my father
will be will say, Kevin,did you want to propose an idea or
did you propose something? Or I'dlike to propose something, and it will
just be in the flow of conversation. I can't use that jo. That's
right. It's so, although Imight still we went to dinner that it
would be funny. We went todinner for Sarah's fortieth birthday, and after
(10:28):
consulting with our experts on the fieldof love and marriage, I got the
thumbs up, and I said toSarah, after the glasses of prosecco had
been poured, I raised my glassand looking her at her, I said
my favorite part, everybody, Yeah, I propose, meaning I was going
(10:50):
I'd like to propose a toast toSarah on her and you you chuckled,
You're like, ha huh, becauseit was a joke, like there's an
inside joke. And then you lookedup at me and you saw that I
had a ring in my and yousaid, for real, yes, what
I mean for real, And thenyou made this little sound, a little
(11:13):
squeal yeah, which my kids enjoyedmaking fun of. Yes, piece of
video. Sure it'll be a giftsoon or something. And we then proceeded
to celebrate. Yeah, it turnedinto a lovely weekend over Memorial Day weekend.
We we we just didn't really stopdrinking champagne and spending time together.
(11:35):
We did not, we did notstop be funeris exactly. Ring went from
Philadelphia back to Philadelphia to get yourring sized yea, which I was not
far off. Yes, no,and we did. You aired on the
side, a good side, andyou went bigger instead of smaller. So
you you never wanted to not fit, you know what I mean. M
(11:58):
hmmmmmm, So we went uh andwe killed time. Prefer when it's a
little bit bigger and the ring isjust it's beautiful. Yeah, I know,
I understand, I get a littlebigger, but it has to fit
nice of course. Yeah, absolutely, you need to do a little sizing
or something, you know them.Yeah, I'm sorry you were Is that
(12:26):
a Yiddish word? I like you'vebeen practicing your Yiddish word though a book.
And we proceeded to kill some timeat one of our favorite establishments with
some lunch and some cocktails, andthen we went back and I got the
ring. And then after several hoursit still bring up, which wasn't that
much. We drive down the shore. Yeah, we didn't drink that much.
(12:48):
Then we just we we were ridingthe high of the moment, and
we celebrated with some more champagne oncewe landed, and yeah, down the
shore, and then had some drinkswith friends at lunch, and then more
champagne at night yep. And thenthe next day we had some more drinks
(13:13):
yep. Then the next day wepacked it off with a nice little Memorial
Day barbecue with friends. Yep.It was fine. We had a very
good drink and here we are.And you know, it's funny because one
of the things that therapist did askabout or talk about, and we've talked
about a lot, is you know, what changes like what would change?
That was the question for a while, what would change? Yeah, And
I thought about this a while becausewe talk about this theme of kind of
(13:35):
finding ourselves. And you know,I love you and want to spend the
rest of my life with you.I know you feel the same way.
I don't think that was ever aquestion. It was just kind of really,
you know, how do we workup to this? And I was
just curious about how you felt.Like you you do this thing sometimes where
you tell me you're processing things.Yeah, right, and you do you
(13:56):
process like it's not a deferring meor pushing me off, Like you really
take the time to work through things. And because it's so different than me,
you know, clearly I talk itout, but there are times that
you and we do talk some thingsout, but you really do like kind
of sit on it and process itand then once you've done that, you
can kind of make this decision andmove on. And there was this distinct
(14:18):
difference. So I'm just curious,you know, how it felt for you.
I thought it would be interesting becauseyou're finding this happiness. Well,
I know that sounds nice and everything, but I really didn't know what to
get you for a birthday. Ijust about it, so I just thought
it was expensive, but it wasworking. No, I think you know,
(14:39):
we've done a lot of a lot. We've done a lot of talking,
I've done a lot of processing,and you know, I don't think
that I can point to one particularthing I think you know, like listen,
we went a little scouting mission probablyabout that was your proposal a month
ago. Yeah, that was whatI was actually proposing, Yes, And
when I miss book was not actuallyto get married, but was to kind
(15:00):
of almost wasn't necessarily calling you onyour bluff, but it was almost like,
you want this, You're talking aboutthis, so let's go see how
it feels. That's actually what Isaid. But now let's go look at
rings and see how that feels.And You're like, the way I do
things is I tend to jump inand process later. I'm like I know
what I know what I want inthe end, you know, like I
know the endpiece and then I justget there and then figure the rest out.
(15:22):
And that's life in general for me, and so it was very different
for me to be pushed to processupfront. Yeah, and I think we
that was that exercise felt very comfortableto me. I was petrified, I
know. I think it was arealization for me like, no, this
doesn't feel weird. This, I'mnot fearful of anything related to this.
(15:43):
It was very comfortable for me.And then we I feel like you got
kicked out of my response. Yeah, Oh absolutely. I was like,
okay, good, you know,like you're well you said you're the most
nervous and anxious I've ever seen you. Absolutely, it was the most nervous
and acius. Well, you knowwhat I think it is is that I
I'm a psychologist, and as youknow, and a lot of my emotions
hold art like you're taught to we'regetting married now, kind of compartmentalize your
(16:11):
emotions, right, like so ifsomebody's if I'm in a session and somebody's
telling me something shocking that doesn't registeras you're speaking to me, you know,
I know where to put that soI can be helpful to other people.
You're putting your emotions in one spotso that you can work through this
other thing. They'll come at somepoint, but you can kind of hold
that back. And so with you, I don't have to practice that skill,
(16:33):
you know, and I think youfeel similarly, like we can show
each other emotions. That doesn't meanI don't want to marry you. That
doesn't mean I don't want to getengaged. That means wow, I'm I
have you know, this is scaryand exciting and nerve wracking, and all
these layers of feelings to meet toowell. I think there is an honesty
and transparency about our relationship that providesthat safe space to be our authentic selves,
(16:56):
you know, and I hate touse that word a phrase because it
just tries me none fill it's overused, but honestly, like we we can
be ourselves. We can be whowe are in our best and our worst
moments and not be punished for itlater, and that allows me to feel
this range of them. And Ithink that that's that. You know,
(17:17):
we talk a lot about AMYG,but we don't really talk about is the
stability of like a baseline stability ofAMG, because once you have that,
your highs and lows are much less. Right. That's I was just going
to say the same exact thing,like, once you have that freedom,
you're not bottling anything, You're notfocused or concentrating on limiting your response or
(17:37):
managing your response to any stimulus.And because for the for the benefit of
others, you know, you areable to then just use your energy to
focus on having the reaction that youwant to have, that you're managing your
own response to better out than it, and not worried about blowing the lid.
(18:00):
Off of you know, a pressurizedcontainer, right, because there isn't
as much because you're right, it'sit's better out than end. Right,
you're getting rid of that, sothere's not bottling up, it doesn't stay
inside, you don't feel the physicalsymptoms. You and not to say that
we don't both watch our own responsesto support the other person. So if
you're losing your mind over something,you know, I might, you know,
(18:22):
I might simmer it down a littlebit. I might act as the
yanjer yang in that point, justto help support you, get you through
it or whatever it is. Orif you're really stressed, you know,
if there's something bothering me, Imight hold that for a little bit,
but it's going to come out ata time. And that's just a matter
of getting to know each other.But the ability, yes, and also
to not be judged. And youknow, I think you understand the range
(18:44):
of feelings too. You know,I remember when I was a teenager.
I don't remember why this thoughtcument.I was reading a book or something,
and I recognize that you can havea thought but not follow through with it,
or it be like the thing thatdrives you. So you can have
a bad thought right quote a badthought, and that's normal. And I
just like, I remember where Iwas, was laying in bed in my
parents' house. I remember I washolding the book, I remember where my
(19:07):
desk was and everything, because itwas such an aha moment for me to
realize, wait a minute, badthoughts can come in and out of your
head and and that doesn't make youa bad person. And actually the recognition
of them is like, Okay,something's happened in there, and they float
right back out. This is likewhat we would call acceptance and commitment therapy,
you know, as another site term, but it's this understanding that Okay,
it's there and then move on.But it's what you choose to do
(19:30):
after that that defines you. Right, So the thoughts don't define you.
Everybody has those things. Someone cutslittle. We've talked about this many times,
someone cut you off. You're like, I'm gonna kill them, like
you're you're You're not defined by thatthought unless you actually do it right,
then you're defined. And I thinkyou know, we have lots of thoughts,
especially being divorced. Especially there's youknow, co parenting relationships, there's
(19:52):
zexes, there's partners. So manypeople. There's you know, our relationship,
there's you know, mos death,everybody around us. You're going to
have these frustrating thoughts and to beable to share those thoughts, but even
sometimes share in those thoughts and thenyou know, be able to move on
and make a decision about what youwant to do if you don't accept those
(20:14):
thoughts initially or understand and use themas a point of understanding that you might
be feeling something else. You know, it's your group behator is going to
be driven by amyg instead of fronting, which I really do think that's like
most of the theme is like makinga decision about how you want to respond.
It starts with our first season ofunderstanding yourself and then figuring out who
you are, and then how doyou want to be in the world and
(20:36):
be in a relationship and a partnership, and then continue to grow and change
because it is at a static process. You know, it's such an interesting,
such an interesting dynamic, and there'snobody in this world that I would
rather do it with him. Turnsout I feel him it's not great,
and I feel like the realization ofthat for both of us has been like
(20:56):
it feels like a, yeah,it was interesting because I had a little
bit of drama leading up to theproposal, you know, obtaining the ring
in time. You were very stressedby this. I was more on the
train of let's just go in anddo it together. And it was very
important to you, and I appreciatea lot of I think at one point
I said to you, not leadingup to it, not knowing, and
(21:18):
I was I think I said somethingalong it there's two people involved in this
proposal. Yeah, no, likeyou know, like so basically I know
you want it done in a certainway, but I also have feelings about
how I wanted to go. Well, wasn't that I wanted to have done
yes, I wasn't that I wantedto have done a certain way. It
was just that I was like,this is stressful, this should be stressful.
Why don't we just figure this outlike we do everything else. But
(21:41):
you had very particular ways you youit was important to you to show me
what I meant to you in ain some kind of gesture, and honestly,
I appreciate that very much. Youknow, looking back on it,
I don't like you needing to bestressed, but I appreciate that it's so
important to you. It was worthyour time, you know. And honestly,
the stress ended as soon as Ihad the ring in mind, right,
(22:04):
because the stress in you weren't.It wasn't it wasn't the stress of
the act or the decision or youknow, what was the answer, you
know, like I knew all that, you know, it was just the
stress of making sure I had it. And then once I had it,
I was very calm and relaxed andvery happy, you know, like I
(22:25):
was just like I knew it wasthe right decision, you know, for
from for us, for me,you know, like I knew. I
was very comfortable, Like I wasn'tstressed out or or feeling under any kind
of pressure or anything like that.So, you know, I think I
just made sure that it was stillin my pocket, you know, every
(22:45):
couple of minutes, and uh,you know, and then the fun part
honestly started when you know, Icould tell our friend Steve Um we stepped
out on the porch before we leftfor dinner. Because you didn't tell anybody.
I didn't tell anybody, and youknow, literally the jeweler knew,
Yeah, he did phone a friendfor some support, who I didn't.
(23:07):
He was awesome. I needed somehelp getting the ring. But and so
I think, you know, heknew. So I did tell one person,
but he was the vault. Heis a vault. And and then
you know, watching Steve's reaction whenI kind of alluded to the plan at
dinner to make sure that there weresomebody had their phone out and ready,
(23:33):
just that was very entertaining to mebecause I think I think he probably expected
knew it was coming, but didn'tknow it was going to happen that particular
night, at that moment, andwatching that reaction was really entertaining. And
then getting to you know, tocelebrate with everybody and to well. But
then watching his wife, Amy findout right maybe maybe three minutes before,
(23:57):
because you gotta love it. Welove Amy, but he can't keep a
secret. No she and in fact, I thought she already. I thought
she spilled the beans. I wassitting at dinner. You were talking about
like being made a reference about likemade a joke about trying to move this
since I were sitting outside. Itwas just because I was chilly and I
(24:17):
was teasing her, and so shewas she was pretending she was cold so
that I watched she said something toyou. She said the words I am
so bad at lying, yeah,And I was like, you gotta be
kidding. She didn't. It waslike I didn't even tell her, you
know, like and I was like, meanwhile, she's giggling because she's she
said she couldn't think of anything else. But that was like my immediate reaction
was like Amy just spilled the goddamnbeans, like I'm gonna kill her,
(24:42):
and I know she like I know, like I know that logically, but
my emotional reaction was like what justwhat just happened? And and then I
took a breath, I probably tooka sip, and then I you know,
read the situation a little bit better. And you clearly didn't know what
would you know? Like it wasn'tlike you knew because you were just continue
(25:06):
to look at the menu, likeyou didn't even look at me. Yeah,
So I'm like, all right,she doesn't know, which is great.
Yeah, No, I mean Ithink it was so what people ask
me if you knew it was coming, I tell them you knew it was
you knew it was going to happen, You just didn't know where. Yeah,
And I wasn't you know you,Like I said, it was back
to this question about what changes,right, and I left our therapist,
(25:27):
you know at this like what wouldchange and nothing and everything did at the
same time. You know, That'show I would answer that is because nothing
about our relationship has changed. Contraryto what everyone asks us when we tell
them we are still living a parttogether, we are. Yeah, we
have no plans on changing that mostwere We've been very close, We've made
(25:48):
decisions together. Nothing really has changedfrom a relationship standpoint, but our families
have considered us family. The children, I think feel like a family.
Talk about being a family now.I think there was some question about definition.
You know, being outside the box, as we talked about in our
last episode, is one thing foran adult, but I think as a
(26:08):
kid, always trying to find wheredo I fit and where's my box?
Where does that relate to other kids? I think that was probably hard for
them. And I think now there'ssome stability created there of this is we
are a family. We are officiallybecoming family now our family. Yeah,
I think it gives them, youknow, a little bit more clarity into
the future. Yeah, and ustoo, you know, I think it
(26:30):
did it just there was a freedomand a happiness in you. It's almost
like we stepped into the future together, you know. Yeah, I think
I think I tried to articulate thisto you over the course of the weekend
because I was realizing it, youknow that I you know, I think
there were definitely some still some somewalls that I had up. He didn't
(26:51):
want to be a twice divorced,you concerned about marriage, lots of things,
you know, around the idea ofmarriage. And you know, I
I was gonna say it earlier,but you know, we had a session
after with our you know, therapiststhat you know, as I look back
on it at you know, theconversation towards the end really alleviated a lot
(27:12):
of I think, alleviate a lotof my inner concerns that I didn't realize
that I was holding, calling youon your themes. Yeah and uh,
and so you know that that conversationthat we had really kind of put me
at ease. And even though Ididn't I didn't even realize they were.
They were more subconscious things that Iwas holding up with therapist and I didn't
(27:33):
even realize that they were. Butafter that, you know, I think
Honestly, after that session is whenI started thinking about like, Okay,
I'm I'm I'm going to do thisbecause it's it feels right, it is
right, and I you know,it's not just something that you want for
us, it's something that I wantfor us. And I was very adamant
about that. You know. Thelast thing I wanted was you to do
(27:56):
something for me, you know.But I think what I is sensing is
the walls up and it wasn't reallyabout getting married as much as it was
about again. I think I describedit one day as like standing on the
edge of the cliff and it's scaryand you know things might happen, and
all of these things that you know, but you're going to jump anyway,
and you're going to jump together,like I wanted to jump together, and
(28:18):
we did, and I think youdid and once you jumped, there was
no look, there was no lookingback, like you just I think happy.
It was the word you kept usingall again. I think, so,
I don't know what this feels like, this is so weird. My
cynic was very happy. This weirdfeeling yep, is this weird? Is
this happiness? Is that? Whatthis is? So the season two finale
(28:41):
in the books found our happiness movingforward together to continue to find ourselves and
the one thing we still have notdone is tell our therapists. So I'm
sure as they'll looking forward to letyou know it's in person. So here
we come, like, all right, cheers the Hey keV. I know
(29:02):
you're a T shirt kind of guy, but I'm feeling the need for a
T shirt. I love T shirts. I feel like we need a T
shirt, a brain T shirt totally. How about an AMYG T shirt?
What about a Frannie? Where's myFrannie? Totally? Where's my Frannie when
you need her? How about insight, foresight, hindsight? Ooh, they
can find these in more on ourwebsite. Do you remember what it is
(29:26):
brain behavior bridge dot com. You'reright, it is brain behavior bridge dot
com. I used hindsight to getthat. Ah, well with my foresight.
I knew that you were going touse your hindsight. That's some insight
there. Oh, look at that. So where can they go brain behavior
bridge dot com? Did you saybrain behavior bridge dot com? I did
(29:51):
get your T shirt today? Guys? Do it? Well? Thanks for
joining us for this episode of What'sHappening here. Don't forget to subscribe to
(30:12):
our YouTube page, or you canfollow me on Instagram at Doctor Sarah l
Allen and Kim Shows Up all outthere too. Be sure to tell a
friend what you liked about this episodeand share it with them. After all,
we're all in this together, justtrying to figure out what's happening here.
Welcome to What's Happening Here. Thisis a podcast we're finding the perfect and
balance of being a parent, apartner, and a person without losing the
things that matter most to you inthe process, like your sanity. You
might know me as doctor Sarah,the Brain Gal. I'm a pediatric nurse,
psychologist, and mom of two whotranslates brain science to everyday life.
I see all kids, really allpeople like little brains. You probably don't
(00:23):
know me. I'm Kevin, Sarah'spartner in crime, bourbon aficionado, discussor
of all things, and father oftwo. We started this podcast because we
saw a big gap between research andpractice, especially when you have a unique
family structure like ours, and wewanted to share what we've learned and hopefully
what we continue about navigating our livesthrough the lens of brain science with a
big old helping of reality mix there. We know there are lots of families
(00:47):
that look like ours, or kindof like art, or maybe look nothing
like ours, which makes finding asingle source of guidance and advice so hard.
But we're going to try to helpyou, so join us as we
try to figure out what's happening here. I love Hey, baby, I'm
a little long cloud nine right now, coming down from a weekend we will
(01:07):
tell everybody about, but probably oneof my favorite weekends of my entire life,
Thank you very much. But we'reback to Lucky thirteen baby, final
episodes, season two. I feellike she's we've come a long way.
I mean, that's twenty six episodes. I love when you do this.
I don't think about it like that, You're ready. Twenty six that's a
lot. Yeah, that's a lotof talking, a lot of talking,
(01:29):
a lot of life lived. Yeah, there's been a lot. Just think
we talked a lot about what washad built up to the first thirteen episodes,
Yeah, in in our world,and then in the last thirteen episodes
this one included, We've covered alot of ground from the last time.
Yeah, we were in this spot. You know what I love about it
(01:52):
is they're like thirteen weeks of ourlives and snapshots each year. You know.
I listened back to the last episodeof season one earlier and just thinking
about all the things we were thinkingabout at that moment and just reference to
the fortieth birthday podcast of leaving legaciesand things you're leaving behind, Like just
(02:13):
thinking about you know, the kidslistening to them when they're our age at
some point, you know. AndI think there's been themes, right,
like season one theme. Well,I think season one was around you know,
finding yourself. You know how importantit was to you know, sometimes
put yourself first, and the importanceof you know, sutting off that old
(02:37):
skin and finding your new new one, like understanding yourself, what makes how,
why things work certain ways how theydo, and figuring out what makes
yourself to say, how you balancethat with being you know, a Burden
Purton partner person, I like it, parent person, partner throwback. Yeah,
(03:00):
yeah, yeah, Yeah, Ithink you're right. I think it's
about finding all those things together.And then I feel like season two was
about not just finding yourself, butto me it was it was like finding
ourselves together. Yeah. I thinkwe have made major strides, both individually
and collectively, and I think,you know, we've learned a lot from
(03:23):
that. And I think that's whatwe're attempting to share, you know,
is you know, the insights thatwe've gleaned from life in this craziness that
involved in Yeah, and when Isay finding ourselves together, I don't mean
as a couple. I mean,I don't know if you remember, and
perhaps I'm sharing a little too much, but one point I said to you,
(03:45):
you know, my promise to youwas to support you in finding yourself
and that being one of our goalsas a couple would be to make sure
that you feel whole, you know, and of course me feel a whole
too. And I feel like whenI say finding ourselves together, you know,
it's individually finding ourselves and then movingforward together. Yeah, like what
(04:06):
you hear my voice? I haveno voice weekend? Hear your voice.
We had a big celebration this weekend. We did. Yeah, yeah,
somebody finally turned forty. I thatthe celebration. Yeah, yeah, yes,
we did finally turned forty. I'min the same decade as you know,
(04:27):
like officially, not like we weretalking about it two episodes ago.
Yes, yes, it's actually happened. I know that bothers you a lot
when I say things I've learned inmy forties, but i've learned for you
were talking about at the time youwere still thirty nine, and like two
weeks to go as I turned thingsI've learned as I turned for you are
ahead of things normally that's a littleI pushed it too, push a little
(04:48):
bit envelope. Yeah, I thinkit was. It was a big it
was a big birthday. But Ifeel like again going back to like finding,
I guess what it is, baby, is you feel like you found
yourself? Yeah, like I feelyou feel that from you and that's pretty
cool. It is. It's ait's a weird feeling, you know,
(05:11):
like when if you haven't felt thatbefore, or if you haven't felt it
in a really long time. Andyou know, there were things that that
were impacting us that you know thatI think we work through that you know,
enabled not just enabled us to thrive, but you know, enable us
individually to grow and to be youknow, the people that we wanted to
(05:32):
be. And one of those was, you know, the ability to do
that in a partnership, you know, having the freedom to you know find
you know myself and to find whoI wanted to be and to be supported
in that effort. But it's nota past tense, right, Like,
what I think is the coolest thingis it's not you found it. You're
(05:55):
good, right, It's this abilityto continually find yourself and to get tinually
grow and to continually change. Iforget what we were watching. Maybe you'll
remember listening to but somebody was talkingabout how you know, one of the
issues with relationships is you say,well, that person's changed, right,
you know, um, but ina relationship, you should change, you
(06:15):
should grow. You want growth,right right. We talk all the time
about brain connections and growth and raisingkids' brains, but we're also raising our
own. And as you experience thesethings, you know everything each day,
you know, I hope I continueto grow, you know, I have
a lot of personal growth. Iwant to do professional growth. I want
to grow as a mom. Iwant to grow as a wife, you
(06:35):
know, as a partner. Ijust really I don't think that's a static
thing. So we talk about findingyourself like, oh, I found it,
but that's not really the case,right, I think you're right,
it's it's you know, in myyou know, in different people are different
cases, you know, like comingout of the out of the darkness,
like Aaron and Span a football reference. No, I was like, look
(07:00):
at Aaron Rodgers. Yeah, hewent into the darkness to find himself and
then he decided that he wanted toplay for the Jets. Yeah, anyway,
I'm sure other people get that.I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure
our major number one fanily Oh mom, he's not talking about youth, So
who's a joke? Yeah? No, I think it is this, Like
(07:24):
you know, you, we havedone a lot of work, and this
podcast does allow us. We talkedabout it last season, but it does
allow us to have that time,that thirty minutes to really walk through things
and to frame things. I thoughtthat was therapy that we and therapy right,
like, we do a lot ofwork. It's a lot of work,
and you know, I think it'sall built up to our thirteenth episode
(07:46):
of season two. You want totell people what happens, Well, you
had a birthday at the dinner YadA, YadA, YadA. Working out on
Friday was hard. Well, Ithink I'll just just spilled beans. I
was going to wait till the middlethat I can't read it. Oh you
don't want to win, No,go for you. This is why I
(08:09):
didn't know why you don't. Iasked Sarah to marry me on her birthday
and she said yes. I didsay yes. Well first I laughed,
Yeah, it was more like abecause well you should tell people, so
all right, So Uh, probablyabout a month or so ago, we
(08:33):
were following a therapy session, anintense and the very intense about our future.
That might have been mad at ourtherapist when I left, which it
happened all the time, but Iwas not happy with rum because he suggested
I figure out why I might wantto get married, and that kind of
was not really that's a whole otherepisode. Um. And in a moment
(08:56):
of weakness in that phone conversation,I used a phrase out of context,
and that was ill advised. Istarted a sentence with the words I'd like
to propose, and given the contextof the conversation, it was probably the
(09:16):
worst phrase to use at that moment, because I was not, in fact
proposing marriage over the phone. Iwas proposing an idea that was an attempt
to try to solve our issues orto address or to understand each other better.
Yet and I think you immediately knewwhat I was not trying to do
(09:41):
and knew how upset I was atmyself for using that phrase, and proceeded
to make fun of me. Whackand make fun of me, which actually
broke the ice. That was aperfect moment, unintended unin and then has
since become like a punchline that evenyour father has gotten in on using.
(10:03):
I may or may not have paidhim to do that. Right, So,
so we'll be sitting at the dinnertable or something, and my father
will be will say, Kevin,did you want to propose an idea or
did you propose something? Or I'dlike to propose something, and it will
just be in the flow of conversation. I can't use that jo. That's
right. It's so, although Imight still we went to dinner that it
would be funny. We went todinner for Sarah's fortieth birthday, and after
(10:28):
consulting with our experts on the fieldof love and marriage, I got the
thumbs up, and I said toSarah, after the glasses of prosecco had
been poured, I raised my glassand looking her at her, I said
my favorite part, everybody, Yeah, I propose, meaning I was going
(10:50):
I'd like to propose a toast toSarah on her and you you chuckled,
You're like, ha huh, becauseit was a joke, like there's an
inside joke. And then you lookedup at me and you saw that I
had a ring in my and yousaid, for real, yes, what
I mean for real, And thenyou made this little sound, a little
(11:13):
squeal yeah, which my kids enjoyedmaking fun of. Yes, piece of
video. Sure it'll be a giftsoon or something. And we then proceeded
to celebrate. Yeah, it turnedinto a lovely weekend over Memorial Day weekend.
We we we just didn't really stopdrinking champagne and spending time together.
(11:35):
We did not, we did notstop be funeris exactly. Ring went from
Philadelphia back to Philadelphia to get yourring sized yea, which I was not
far off. Yes, no,and we did. You aired on the
side, a good side, andyou went bigger instead of smaller. So
you you never wanted to not fit, you know what I mean. M
(11:58):
hmmmmmm, So we went uh andwe killed time. Prefer when it's a
little bit bigger and the ring isjust it's beautiful. Yeah, I know,
I understand, I get a littlebigger, but it has to fit
nice of course. Yeah, absolutely, you need to do a little sizing
or something, you know them.Yeah, I'm sorry you were Is that
(12:26):
a Yiddish word? I like you'vebeen practicing your Yiddish word though a book.
And we proceeded to kill some timeat one of our favorite establishments with
some lunch and some cocktails, andthen we went back and I got the
ring. And then after several hoursit still bring up, which wasn't that
much. We drive down the shore. Yeah, we didn't drink that much.
(12:48):
Then we just we we were ridingthe high of the moment, and
we celebrated with some more champagne oncewe landed, and yeah, down the
shore, and then had some drinkswith friends at lunch, and then more
champagne at night yep. And thenthe next day we had some more drinks
(13:13):
yep. Then the next day wepacked it off with a nice little Memorial
Day barbecue with friends. Yep.It was fine. We had a very
good drink and here we are.And you know, it's funny because one
of the things that therapist did askabout or talk about, and we've talked
about a lot, is you know, what changes like what would change?
That was the question for a while, what would change? Yeah, And
I thought about this a while becausewe talk about this theme of kind of
(13:35):
finding ourselves. And you know,I love you and want to spend the
rest of my life with you.I know you feel the same way.
I don't think that was ever aquestion. It was just kind of really,
you know, how do we workup to this? And I was
just curious about how you felt.Like you you do this thing sometimes where
you tell me you're processing things.Yeah, right, and you do you
(13:56):
process like it's not a deferring meor pushing me off, Like you really
take the time to work through things. And because it's so different than me,
you know, clearly I talk itout, but there are times that
you and we do talk some thingsout, but you really do like kind
of sit on it and process itand then once you've done that, you
can kind of make this decision andmove on. And there was this distinct
(14:18):
difference. So I'm just curious,you know, how it felt for you.
I thought it would be interesting becauseyou're finding this happiness. Well,
I know that sounds nice and everything, but I really didn't know what to
get you for a birthday. Ijust about it, so I just thought
it was expensive, but it wasworking. No, I think you know,
(14:39):
we've done a lot of a lot. We've done a lot of talking,
I've done a lot of processing,and you know, I don't think
that I can point to one particularthing I think you know, like listen,
we went a little scouting mission probablyabout that was your proposal a month
ago. Yeah, that was whatI was actually proposing, Yes, And
when I miss book was not actuallyto get married, but was to kind
(15:00):
of almost wasn't necessarily calling you onyour bluff, but it was almost like,
you want this, You're talking aboutthis, so let's go see how
it feels. That's actually what Isaid. But now let's go look at
rings and see how that feels.And You're like, the way I do
things is I tend to jump inand process later. I'm like I know
what I know what I want inthe end, you know, like I
know the endpiece and then I justget there and then figure the rest out.
(15:22):
And that's life in general for me, and so it was very different
for me to be pushed to processupfront. Yeah, and I think we
that was that exercise felt very comfortableto me. I was petrified, I
know. I think it was arealization for me like, no, this
doesn't feel weird. This, I'mnot fearful of anything related to this.
(15:43):
It was very comfortable for me.And then we I feel like you got
kicked out of my response. Yeah, Oh absolutely. I was like,
okay, good, you know,like you're well you said you're the most
nervous and anxious I've ever seen you. Absolutely, it was the most nervous
and acius. Well, you knowwhat I think it is is that I
I'm a psychologist, and as youknow, and a lot of my emotions
hold art like you're taught to we'regetting married now, kind of compartmentalize your
(16:11):
emotions, right, like so ifsomebody's if I'm in a session and somebody's
telling me something shocking that doesn't registeras you're speaking to me, you know,
I know where to put that soI can be helpful to other people.
You're putting your emotions in one spotso that you can work through this
other thing. They'll come at somepoint, but you can kind of hold
that back. And so with you, I don't have to practice that skill,
(16:33):
you know, and I think youfeel similarly, like we can show
each other emotions. That doesn't meanI don't want to marry you. That
doesn't mean I don't want to getengaged. That means wow, I'm I
have you know, this is scaryand exciting and nerve wracking, and all
these layers of feelings to meet toowell. I think there is an honesty
and transparency about our relationship that providesthat safe space to be our authentic selves,
(16:56):
you know, and I hate touse that word a phrase because it
just tries me none fill it's overused, but honestly, like we we can
be ourselves. We can be whowe are in our best and our worst
moments and not be punished for itlater, and that allows me to feel
this range of them. And Ithink that that's that. You know,
(17:17):
we talk a lot about AMYG,but we don't really talk about is the
stability of like a baseline stability ofAMG, because once you have that,
your highs and lows are much less. Right. That's I was just going
to say the same exact thing,like, once you have that freedom,
you're not bottling anything, You're notfocused or concentrating on limiting your response or
(17:37):
managing your response to any stimulus.And because for the for the benefit of
others, you know, you areable to then just use your energy to
focus on having the reaction that youwant to have, that you're managing your
own response to better out than it, and not worried about blowing the lid.
(18:00):
Off of you know, a pressurizedcontainer, right, because there isn't
as much because you're right, it'sit's better out than end. Right,
you're getting rid of that, sothere's not bottling up, it doesn't stay
inside, you don't feel the physicalsymptoms. You and not to say that
we don't both watch our own responsesto support the other person. So if
you're losing your mind over something,you know, I might, you know,
(18:22):
I might simmer it down a littlebit. I might act as the
yanjer yang in that point, justto help support you, get you through
it or whatever it is. Orif you're really stressed, you know,
if there's something bothering me, Imight hold that for a little bit,
but it's going to come out ata time. And that's just a matter
of getting to know each other.But the ability, yes, and also
to not be judged. And youknow, I think you understand the range
(18:44):
of feelings too. You know,I remember when I was a teenager.
I don't remember why this thoughtcument.I was reading a book or something,
and I recognize that you can havea thought but not follow through with it,
or it be like the thing thatdrives you. So you can have
a bad thought right quote a badthought, and that's normal. And I
just like, I remember where Iwas, was laying in bed in my
parents' house. I remember I washolding the book, I remember where my
(19:07):
desk was and everything, because itwas such an aha moment for me to
realize, wait a minute, badthoughts can come in and out of your
head and and that doesn't make youa bad person. And actually the recognition
of them is like, Okay,something's happened in there, and they float
right back out. This is likewhat we would call acceptance and commitment therapy,
you know, as another site term, but it's this understanding that Okay,
it's there and then move on.But it's what you choose to do
(19:30):
after that that defines you. Right, So the thoughts don't define you.
Everybody has those things. Someone cutslittle. We've talked about this many times,
someone cut you off. You're like, I'm gonna kill them, like
you're you're You're not defined by thatthought unless you actually do it right,
then you're defined. And I thinkyou know, we have lots of thoughts,
especially being divorced. Especially there's youknow, co parenting relationships, there's
(19:52):
zexes, there's partners. So manypeople. There's you know, our relationship,
there's you know, mos death,everybody around us. You're going to
have these frustrating thoughts and to beable to share those thoughts, but even
sometimes share in those thoughts and thenyou know, be able to move on
and make a decision about what youwant to do if you don't accept those
(20:14):
thoughts initially or understand and use themas a point of understanding that you might
be feeling something else. You know, it's your group behator is going to
be driven by amyg instead of fronting, which I really do think that's like
most of the theme is like makinga decision about how you want to respond.
It starts with our first season ofunderstanding yourself and then figuring out who
you are, and then how doyou want to be in the world and
(20:36):
be in a relationship and a partnership, and then continue to grow and change
because it is at a static process. You know, it's such an interesting,
such an interesting dynamic, and there'snobody in this world that I would
rather do it with him. Turnsout I feel him it's not great,
and I feel like the realization ofthat for both of us has been like
(20:56):
it feels like a, yeah,it was interesting because I had a little
bit of drama leading up to theproposal, you know, obtaining the ring
in time. You were very stressedby this. I was more on the
train of let's just go in anddo it together. And it was very
important to you, and I appreciatea lot of I think at one point
I said to you, not leadingup to it, not knowing, and
(21:18):
I was I think I said somethingalong it there's two people involved in this
proposal. Yeah, no, likeyou know, like so basically I know
you want it done in a certainway, but I also have feelings about
how I wanted to go. Well, wasn't that I wanted to have done
yes, I wasn't that I wantedto have done a certain way. It
was just that I was like,this is stressful, this should be stressful.
Why don't we just figure this outlike we do everything else. But
(21:41):
you had very particular ways you youit was important to you to show me
what I meant to you in ain some kind of gesture, and honestly,
I appreciate that very much. Youknow, looking back on it,
I don't like you needing to bestressed, but I appreciate that it's so
important to you. It was worthyour time, you know. And honestly,
the stress ended as soon as Ihad the ring in mind, right,
(22:04):
because the stress in you weren't.It wasn't it wasn't the stress of
the act or the decision or youknow, what was the answer, you
know, like I knew all that, you know, it was just the
stress of making sure I had it. And then once I had it,
I was very calm and relaxed andvery happy, you know, like I
(22:25):
was just like I knew it wasthe right decision, you know, for
from for us, for me,you know, like I knew. I
was very comfortable, Like I wasn'tstressed out or or feeling under any kind
of pressure or anything like that.So, you know, I think I
just made sure that it was stillin my pocket, you know, every
(22:45):
couple of minutes, and uh,you know, and then the fun part
honestly started when you know, Icould tell our friend Steve Um we stepped
out on the porch before we leftfor dinner. Because you didn't tell anybody.
I didn't tell anybody, and youknow, literally the jeweler knew,
Yeah, he did phone a friendfor some support, who I didn't.
(23:07):
He was awesome. I needed somehelp getting the ring. But and so
I think, you know, heknew. So I did tell one person,
but he was the vault. Heis a vault. And and then
you know, watching Steve's reaction whenI kind of alluded to the plan at
dinner to make sure that there weresomebody had their phone out and ready,
(23:33):
just that was very entertaining to mebecause I think I think he probably expected
knew it was coming, but didn'tknow it was going to happen that particular
night, at that moment, andwatching that reaction was really entertaining. And
then getting to you know, tocelebrate with everybody and to well. But
then watching his wife, Amy findout right maybe maybe three minutes before,
(23:57):
because you gotta love it. Welove Amy, but he can't keep a
secret. No she and in fact, I thought she already. I thought
she spilled the beans. I wassitting at dinner. You were talking about
like being made a reference about likemade a joke about trying to move this
since I were sitting outside. Itwas just because I was chilly and I
(24:17):
was teasing her, and so shewas she was pretending she was cold so
that I watched she said something toyou. She said the words I am
so bad at lying, yeah,And I was like, you gotta be
kidding. She didn't. It waslike I didn't even tell her, you
know, like and I was like, meanwhile, she's giggling because she's she
said she couldn't think of anything else. But that was like my immediate reaction
was like Amy just spilled the goddamnbeans, like I'm gonna kill her,
(24:42):
and I know she like I know, like I know that logically, but
my emotional reaction was like what justwhat just happened? And and then I
took a breath, I probably tooka sip, and then I you know,
read the situation a little bit better. And you clearly didn't know what
would you know? Like it wasn'tlike you knew because you were just continue
(25:06):
to look at the menu, likeyou didn't even look at me. Yeah,
So I'm like, all right,she doesn't know, which is great.
Yeah, No, I mean Ithink it was so what people ask
me if you knew it was coming, I tell them you knew it was
you knew it was going to happen, You just didn't know where. Yeah,
And I wasn't you know you,Like I said, it was back
to this question about what changes,right, and I left our therapist,
(25:27):
you know at this like what wouldchange and nothing and everything did at the
same time. You know, That'show I would answer that is because nothing
about our relationship has changed. Contraryto what everyone asks us when we tell
them we are still living a parttogether, we are. Yeah, we
have no plans on changing that mostwere We've been very close, We've made
(25:48):
decisions together. Nothing really has changedfrom a relationship standpoint, but our families
have considered us family. The children, I think feel like a family.
Talk about being a family now.I think there was some question about definition.
You know, being outside the box, as we talked about in our
last episode, is one thing foran adult, but I think as a
(26:08):
kid, always trying to find wheredo I fit and where's my box?
Where does that relate to other kids? I think that was probably hard for
them. And I think now there'ssome stability created there of this is we
are a family. We are officiallybecoming family now our family. Yeah,
I think it gives them, youknow, a little bit more clarity into
the future. Yeah, and ustoo, you know, I think it
(26:30):
did it just there was a freedomand a happiness in you. It's almost
like we stepped into the future together, you know. Yeah, I think
I think I tried to articulate thisto you over the course of the weekend
because I was realizing it, youknow that I you know, I think
there were definitely some still some somewalls that I had up. He didn't
(26:51):
want to be a twice divorced,you concerned about marriage, lots of things,
you know, around the idea ofmarriage. And you know, I
I was gonna say it earlier,but you know, we had a session
after with our you know, therapiststhat you know, as I look back
on it at you know, theconversation towards the end really alleviated a lot
(27:12):
of I think, alleviate a lotof my inner concerns that I didn't realize
that I was holding, calling youon your themes. Yeah and uh,
and so you know that that conversationthat we had really kind of put me
at ease. And even though Ididn't I didn't even realize they were.
They were more subconscious things that Iwas holding up with therapist and I didn't
(27:33):
even realize that they were. Butafter that, you know, I think
Honestly, after that session is whenI started thinking about like, Okay,
I'm I'm I'm going to do thisbecause it's it feels right, it is
right, and I you know,it's not just something that you want for
us, it's something that I wantfor us. And I was very adamant
about that. You know. Thelast thing I wanted was you to do
(27:56):
something for me, you know.But I think what I is sensing is
the walls up and it wasn't reallyabout getting married as much as it was
about again. I think I describedit one day as like standing on the
edge of the cliff and it's scaryand you know things might happen, and
all of these things that you know, but you're going to jump anyway,
and you're going to jump together,like I wanted to jump together, and
(28:18):
we did, and I think youdid and once you jumped, there was
no look, there was no lookingback, like you just I think happy.
It was the word you kept usingall again. I think, so,
I don't know what this feels like, this is so weird. My
cynic was very happy. This weirdfeeling yep, is this weird? Is
this happiness? Is that? Whatthis is? So the season two finale
(28:41):
in the books found our happiness movingforward together to continue to find ourselves and
the one thing we still have notdone is tell our therapists. So I'm
sure as they'll looking forward to letyou know it's in person. So here
we come, like, all right, cheers the Hey keV. I know
(29:02):
you're a T shirt kind of guy, but I'm feeling the need for a
T shirt. I love T shirts. I feel like we need a T
shirt, a brain T shirt totally. How about an AMYG T shirt?
What about a Frannie? Where's myFrannie? Totally? Where's my Frannie when
you need her? How about insight, foresight, hindsight? Ooh, they
can find these in more on ourwebsite. Do you remember what it is
(29:26):
brain behavior bridge dot com. You'reright, it is brain behavior bridge dot
com. I used hindsight to getthat. Ah, well with my foresight.
I knew that you were going touse your hindsight. That's some insight
there. Oh, look at that. So where can they go brain behavior
bridge dot com? Did you saybrain behavior bridge dot com? I did
(29:51):
get your T shirt today? Guys? Do it? Well? Thanks for
joining us for this episode of What'sHappening here. Don't forget to subscribe to
(30:12):
our YouTube page, or you canfollow me on Instagram at Doctor Sarah l
Allen and Kim Shows Up all outthere too. Be sure to tell a
friend what you liked about this episodeand share it with them. After all,
we're all in this together, justtrying to figure out what's happening here.
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