April 30, 2024 • 32 mins
Amy & Kat share recent highs & lows from their lives...this leads to convos about grace, humanity (the light & dark side of it), cookies, 'The Gayle Tuck', how Amy's daughter wants a flip phone (so Gen Z of her) and more!!
Amy shares 2 quotes in this episode:
1. “Twenty years from now, the only people who'll remember if you worked late are your kids.” ―Unknown
2. “Even if you’re on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” —Will Rogers
HERE is the Aritzia satin blouse Amy talks about!
Producer Houston's fave cookie recipe (sans the nuts and oats if you want) can be found HERE (sharing this in the show notes because after he heard Amy & Kat talking cookies he thought we should know about this recipe!)
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Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Defatta // @Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
And today's quote, well, I actually have two of them.
The first one is unknown and it's twenty years from now.
The only people who will remember if you worked late
are your kids. Ooh. I felt like that's a powerful one,
especially for parents, but I thought in case you don't
have kids. That's why I wanted to bring another quote
which could potentially contradict that quote, but it's from Will
(00:34):
Rogers and it's if you're on the right track, you
will get run over if you just sit there.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
So then I have to move right and do think
if I do things, the only people that are going
to know I do them are my children because.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
We're going to be working so hard trying to do
all the things.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
It's like you got to find that perfect balance of
don't sit there, seize the day, do everything you possibly can,
but also.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Don't work so much that your children don't know who
you are.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Are? Sweet, So which one should I listen to?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
You know? I feel like you're a therapist, so you'll
find the happy medium?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Okay? I read this book and then I interviewed the
author last week for UNI therapy called the Age of
magical overthinking, and she's talking about all these different cognitive
biases that we use to make sense of the world.
In one of the chapters, she listed out all of
these very famous sayings that all contradict themselves. I mean
(01:28):
that doesn't directly contradict itself, but one was like early
bird gets the worm, and the other one was like
slow and steady wins the race. Like those kinds of
things where it's like, huh, I guess the point is
you just pick the one that works for you in
that moment, kind of like how when I was younger,
every time I read my horoscope in a magazine, I
(01:48):
was like, that applies to me because you just make
it work for what you need.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, Like, in a sense, it can have the placebo effect,
like if that works for you and it ends up
working out because you thought it was going to be that,
then okay, fine, it worked right.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Which one are you?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Are you early bird gets the worm or you slow
and steady when's the race? Which I get This is
a little bit different, but it depends.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
On what it is. It depends on like if I
care about it enough.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Okay, I guess my curiosity now is just like if
it's early bird gets the worm, and that's you. I'm
just thinking about whether or not you're a morning person or.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Not, oh one hundred morning person.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I know, like kat Will, It'll be like six am
on a Saturday, and she's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I just played five games of pickleball and made breakfast
and went on a walk and watched a movie.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And I consider myself to be a morning person because
I really enjoy my mornings. I get frustrated if I
wake up and it's eight am. That really just can
be a buzzkill for my Saturday because I just want
some time to be slow. It's like I want to
be the early bird that's also slow and steady, like
(03:00):
just doing my thing.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
But yeah, you wake up and you go get it.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
I think that's part of the like seven and me,
because if I wake up at like ten o'clock, I'm
like half the day is gone. Now the day is over,
and I've wasted all this time. I could have been
doing activities and having fun during those hours, so I
was sleeping. But it's interesting because I was talking with
a client a couple weeks ago about she was like,
(03:24):
I need to get up earlier, and I was like,
why do you have something to be doing, and she's like, no,
I just feel like I should. And I was like, Okay,
that's fine if you want to wake up earlier, but
I don't want you to feel like you have to,
because that's what more successful people do. Like, if you
are somebody who likes working out in the afternoon, you
don't need to wake up at six am to work out.
That doesn't really make any sense. But I am the
(03:46):
kind of person who when it's nighttime, I want to
go to bed. So like there are certain people it's
nine o'clock and they're like the night just started, Like
they might eat dinner at nine o'clock, or they could
stay up watching TV all night or doing reading whatever.
When it's nine o'clock, I'm getting my So I feel
like I want to make the most out of the
hours that I have in the hours that I would
rather have would be earlier.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Well, so, because I have to wake up so early
in the mornings, I'm with you, like, I've trained myself
to go to bed. But I think even if I
didn't have early morning hours, like, I just like to
go to bed earlier so I can wake up. Earlier,
we had a friend over, one of my kids did,
and we were going to dinner. Some Sunday night, we
went to see Unsung Hero the movie, and then after
(04:28):
the movie, it got out at like four forty and
we were right by all these restaurants. So I said,
all right, kids, let's go get dinner. And the kid
that was with us was like, dinner, it's four forty five,
and Stashira just turned back to him. It was one
of Stevenson's friends. And she looks back at him and
she goes, welcome to our family. This is what time
(04:50):
we eat dinner, So get ready to order some food
or you're going to be hungry later.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Oh my gosh, that's funny. We had a Patrick and
I went to Chicago's past week and Friday night we
had a dinner reservation at nine thirty pm. Can you
believe that?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah? I just probably would be like, okay, I'm not
doing this.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
It was a restaurant we really wanted to go to,
but I was like, well, maybe it'll keep us up
and we might want to go out and explore. After
we're sitting at dinner and I'm like, so you ready
to go to bed? After this, there was no exploring
we had.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I want to know the high low from your weekend
in Chicago, and then I'll do a high low as well.
This is something fun speaking of that I was doing
with my kids. I feel like we go through phases
where we do it consistently and then we'll drop it
for a little bit and then at our four forty
five dinner. Actually the other night we did high low
of the weekend. So what was your high low from Chicago?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
So the low is very easy because we're on the
flight Friday. Our flight was at like five or something,
and I looked at Patrick and I said, did you
reserve the hotel or did I reserve it? And he
was like, well, I hope you did, because I sure didn't.
I said, oh, I'm sure that I did. So I
go to my email and I was like, oh, look,
(06:05):
I got the email. It was me. I did it.
I just used your credit card and he was like, okay, awesome.
So we're feeling really good. And then I opened the
email and I was like, at any point in this
trip where we supposed to get there on Saturday? And
he was like, why would you ask that? And I
was like, well, because I reserved a hotel for Saturday
and Sunday night, but we have nowhere to stay tonight,
(06:25):
and we're like on the way to Chicago and they're
in the air and so we can't do anything, which
I was immediately kind of like why would I not
have checked that. I was kind of mad at myself,
but Patrick was so nice and I looked at him
and I said, you do know if you did this,
(06:45):
I'd be so mad at you right now, Like I'd
be yelling at you on this plane right now. Why
are you not mad at me? He was like, obviously
you did do that on purpose, and there's nothing we
can do, and we're gonna be fine, Like we'll find
a hotel, even if we have to stay at some
random hotel, We're gonna be fine. And I just was like, okay,
but I do want you to know I'm not gonna
be able to help it. If you do something like
(07:06):
this and I.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Get mad you, well, what you should do is think
back to the grace he extended you and return it.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And I wonder if.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
He's this way with you because y'all are newlyweds, or
if fifteen years from now, when you forget to book
the hotel room because you probably will, or you book
it wrong, like I know your brain, it just may happen.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
And that's not a slam. I'm right there with you.
And I wonder if he's gonna.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Be like, oh, it's okay, Pumpkin, it's all going to
work out. We're good, or if he's gonna be like,
oh my god, I'm so tired of this.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I don't know, but he is so kind. I learned
a lot from him this weekend, and I'm very grateful
for him. But the high I have two One was
we went and saw a Second City show. Have you
ever seen one of those?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
No?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Do you know what Second City is?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
No?
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Okay, I had no idea what it was. Patrick is
the one that came up with that idea. It's where
like a lot of people from SNL got their start,
like Tina Fey, a lot of older people that I
wasn't familiar with. I think that Steve Carell was on there.
What's the mom from Home Alone? Moria Rose is what
I want to call her, and the dad from Shit's Creek,
both of them got started in the one from Canada,
(08:16):
Martin Short, Like we're looking at all the people that
got their start there. It's like half of the people
on SNL, I feel like, and it's this sketch comedy show.
It's two hours long and it is a mix between
like planned sketches that they like have done before in improv.
And I've never been to an improv show. I was
(08:37):
on the floor laughing. It was incredible. What we said
is if we would have known how good that was
going to be, we would have gone to it twice
while we were there. It was so good.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Oh yeah, that sounds like so fun. I want to
go to improv shows, even just here in Nashville. I
feel like that's something fun to do.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Where are they because there are classes, so they have
to have shows.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah, well I took an improv class in comedy Club.
They'll post on their calendar when they have them. I
wasn't ever a part of a show. I just did
a class. But I feel like it'd be so fun
if we got a group together and we all went
to Zany's or something, even if it was just for
a local comedy show. And then we've got to try
to see Trey Kennedy again.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yes, I love.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Him so much. I looked at her name Catherine O'Hara
or O'Hara. Yeah, yeah, is it O'Hara.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I don't know. I was gonna say Catherine O'Hare, but
I think that's the Chicago airport. But okay, I have
another high because this kind of caught me off guard.
So at the airport on the ride home, we were
at the airport and I noticed there is like a
screaming baby, like screaming baby in the airport where we
were waiting to get on the flight. And then I
looked over and it was a mom and her baby,
(09:45):
and then she had a two year old and she
was by herself.
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Speaker 3 (10:57):
We were at the airport and I noticed there is
like a screen mean baby, like screaming baby in the
airport where we were waiting to get on the flight.
And then I looked over and it was a mom
and her baby. And then she had a two year
old and she was by herself and I was listening
to her talk to her two year old, and she
was so calm and so kind and so sweet to
(11:18):
her two year old. And I thought in my head internally,
she has to be freaking out. And I was just
very impressed by her. And then I felt really bad
for her too, because I'm sure she was flying with
those two small kids because she didn't have an option. Well,
then something happened and I think that like the kid
started getting kind of scared, and there was just like
a kerfuffle happening, and multiple people in the airport rushed
(11:40):
over to help her. One woman went and bought her
a coffee. It it was very sweet. And then we
get on the airplane and we sit kind of near her.
Somebody already took the seat next to her, else I
probably would have sat next to her, but we were
kind of near her. The baby screamed like the entire flight,
and I'm just like crying like I can't help it,
and Patrick like what is wrong? And I was like,
(12:01):
I feel so bad for her because the whole time
as her baby's screaming, she's being so sweet to her
two year old, being like, oh, do you see any
swimming pools out there? Or what do you want to
do when we get home, because I'm sure the little
kid was probably afraid to of flying. And then there's
all these people around her being like you're doing a
great job. I'm crying now, like thinking about it. And
(12:22):
at first I was like am I pregnant? Like why
am I am this emotional? I'm not pregnant. Your eyes
are like are you about to announce you're pregnant? I'm
not pregnant. But there was some stuff that happened while
we were in Chicago, and I was like, gosh, people
are mean. People could have been really mean to her
because her baby was screaming, but it is like all
(12:43):
the right people are in the right space being so
empathetic and kind. A woman helped her carry all of
her stuff off the plane. It was so sweet. And
then when they're getting off the plane, the mom was like, Okay,
tell everybody thanks for being patient to the little two
year old. And he looked back at the plane with
all of us still on and he goes, thanks, folks,
like it was so cute.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I mean, and it's just it's good to have faith
in humanity. It's restored in a way because, yeah, if
you've witnessed a lot of hurtful things, which is a
perfect transition into my low So I can sort of
relate to this with an email that I got from
someone to the podcast email so four Things with Amy
Brown at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
And then I clicked out of the emails because I
was like, you know what, I think, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
I'm not gonna read anymore for the time being because
I don't always go check it, and you know, someone
has to ruin it with this. I'm not even gonna
say his name because I don't want to give satisfaction.
But it was from a male account at least. I
don't know if it's real or fake or they you know,
if they set up an account. It's not really their name.
I don't know, but I don't want to give them
(13:46):
that satisfaction. But the subject was howdy, and I thought, well, howdy.
I went to Texas A and m giggle them this
is probably an email about George Straight at kyled Field
in June or something, and then I ope it up
and it said just wanted to say you're an e
fing nutcase, but it said the full you know all
(14:08):
said that's all. I said, howdy and then just wanted
to say you are a blanking nutcase. I thought, oh cool.
Not really the best time to tell someone that when
you know they're transitioning, because I feel like this was
happening to me.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
What do you mean transitioning.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I feel like I'm in a good place now, but
the last several weeks I've been adjusting to being off
meds and starting testosterone and speaking of hormones, I know
you're not really pregnant, but I will say. In one
of your pictures that you posted from Chicago. Her handles
at Katt Defada. If you go look at her little feed,
she's got a little carousel of pictures of her and Patrick,
(14:46):
and there's one where he's you have a fanny pack
or something across your.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Chest and he's holding you and I swear to you.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
When I was swiping, I thought, is this a soft
launch pregnancy announcement because it looked like he was holding
your baby Billy.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I posted that and I go, Patrick, I look like
I'm pregnant, and he goes, I wonder how many people
are gonna think that we're announcing our pregnancy. Just like
two months into dating, we posted a picture and I
had my hand on his chest and there I was
wearing a ring, and so many people message and asked
if we got engaged. His cousin called him and be like,
are you engaged? And so we thought it might be
(15:23):
like the same kind of thing, but apparently people might
think of pregnant.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I'm not, So she's not pregnant.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
She's just emotional and empathetic, like you were feeling for
that woman, which is very sweet, and I too can
be emotional at times, and I wouldn't call myself a
nutcase though, So thanks for the email.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Kick a girl when she's down.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
It's almost like, what's the point. What was the point
of that?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
It came twice in a row? Like if I open
up the email right now, I'll open up just to
see what it looked like real quick. So it came
in at six thirteen pm and then boom at six
teen pm. Again it was like there was another So
it's almost like maybe he tried to send it and
he didn't know if it's sent, so he sent it
again immediately following.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
But it's like, okay, got.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
It, you don't have to how many times did you
feel like you needed to send this message? So you know,
good times. That's just a low because what's wrong with people?
But obviously I'm not really letting it impact me because
this is just one of those things where we can't
listen to people online at times. And then my high
would be the shortbread cookies that I just had right
(16:31):
before we started recording and my new shirt that I'm wearing.
So you had a double high, so I'm gonna do
a double high.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
I was going to say, I like your shirt.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Okay, well, I just got it at Ritzia and it's
like this silky cream color and it's a button down
and I did like a half tuck in the front,
half tuck in the back.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
We call it the Gael tuck.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I follow this stylist person named Gael, I think ever
handles like at Gail Style, and she has the Gael tuck,
and it's where you leave the sides out, see and
then you kind of like tucking took in the front.
I just stood up so that Kat could see.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
We're on zoom.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
But I love this shirt, so I was just gonna
let y'all know. It's some silky short sleeve button down
for Maritzia. I don't know the official name, but I
can link it in the show notes if anybody wants it,
because it's brought me so much joy. I feel professional
in it yet casual, like I wore it to work
today with jeans and little booties and some hoop ear
(17:27):
rings and it's so simple yet something feels very professional.
So I want to maybe even see if they have
other colors, which I'm able to shop because I got
a check from the consignment store where my clothes are
so I put them at the consignment shop. I think
I told you about it. It's near your house, and I
finally I got paid. So I've been doing a little
(17:48):
bit of shopping because if you're new to listening, I'm
doing this whole thing this year where I'm not buying
new clothes until i get money from selling old clothes
that I'm no longer wearing, either at this consignment store
or on Poshmark or whatever other way I get creative
to sell clothes. I did mail off my boxes to
thread Up, but so far I don't have anything from
(18:11):
that yet. They may receive the box and open it
up and be like, yeah, we're gonna donate these.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Which is fine.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I mean, I feel like there's some cute stuff, but
I do realize there's like a probably a timeframe of
like when something was in style or wasn't.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But this shirt is because I decided to wear a
less min. I just bought it.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I normally washed things before I wear it, and I
didn't wash it. I just took the tags off and
came straight here. And then coincidentally, when I was preparing
some work for the Bobby Bone Show, I saw this
whole article about how America's divided on.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
This, and it's fifty to fifty.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Like half of people think, you absolutely, before you wear something,
you need to wash it, and then other people were like, yeah,
who cares, Just put it on and wear it.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I never in my life considered washing a brand new
shirt before I wore it, unless it's not really brand
new and I got it from like a thrift store
or something like that, I'll wash it. But if I'm
just like going to Target.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Well I'm gonna share with you. They explained their answers. Okay, okay,
so the reason why people answered whichever way they did.
Someone said, yes, you wash it, you don't know how
many people have handled it. No, I should, but it's
all downhill after that first wash, nothing's ever the same.
And then someone said, yes if they're bought in store. No,
(19:29):
if they're bought online and they come in a sealed
product packaging. But I still feel like multiple people could
have tried that product on. Doesn't mean you're guaranteed to
be the only person that has tried it on. But
mostly the consensus is yes, because you don't know how
many people have tried it on, and because of chemicals
that might be on there from when it was made
and if you wash it then you get rid of those.
(19:51):
And then someone said, here, no, your skin is an
excellent barrier for any bad stuff on the garment. I'm like,
I feel like your skin is a welcoming barrier.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
I guess, depending on what it is, but I'm with
the person that says it's all downhill from here. I
love something before it is washed for the first time,
then I feel like the materials different. Definitely not dry
cleaning a brand new which I actually had this conversation
with Patrick recently. Dry cleaning. I have personally never taken
anything to the dry cleaners. Ever. I don't know how
(20:22):
it works. I don't know what they do. I don't
understand what a dry cleaner does. Do they just clean stains?
I have personally never taken anything to the dry cleaners, ever.
I don't know how it works. I don't know what
(20:42):
they do. I don't understand what a dry cleaner does.
Do they just clean stains?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I don't know how it works, but they clean it
the whole thing. Yes, if you need a spot treatment, absolutely,
but something about the entire product or the entire garment
has to be cleaned because you know, it's not just
the spot treatment thing. It's an overall.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
That's why I've never really understood it. I've had people
take stuff to the dry cleaner for me, but I've
never been to a dry cleaner. It feels like it's
too far gone.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Now let me see, I'm googling how does dry cleaning work?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Dry cleaning uses a waterless cleaning process to remove dirt
and debris from clothing. Dry cleaning uses a specialized large
machine that cleans clothing using a solvent. The solvent is
then extracted from the clothes and they are air dried
and pressed. So the entire garment is getting cleaned. It's
not just one part of it.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
So it does get wet.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Nope, it's not. It's a waterless cleaning process. Tho is
the first sentence, which I didn't even recall that I
said that, we said that solvent.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
How can I solve that? I don't. It's like too
complicated for my brain to understand this.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, thank goodness, we don't have to be in charge
of the process. But there was this episode of House.
Did you ever watch that? Okay, so dot true House.
There was a patient that came in and they had
a brand new pair of pants that they have never washed,
and there was toxins on the pants and it caused
the person to almost die. And then of course, you know,
(22:13):
he solved the case because that's what the house is
all about. But it was from the chemicals on a
new pair of pants.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
So where did he buy the pants?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Well, I'm not sure, I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
It was an episode from House, like when when was
House on air, like early two thousands. Yeah, hopefully it
wasn't a ritzia because that's what I have on right
now and I did not wash it. But it is
definitely cute and this sure is one of my highs.
And then don't sleep on short bread cookies because I
(22:44):
forget how good they are.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
And it brought me.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
So much joy when I popped the cookie into my mouth,
like I was like, this is what life's all about.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Where did you get this cookie? Work? Oh, it's just
a random yeah random.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Maybe I was starving, so not sure I would have
enjoyed the short cookie as much if I was it.
But it just makes you think, like I would put
short bread cookie in my top five cookies of all time.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
I think I would I love a short cookie.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Okay, good, then we can be friends, thank God.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Which reminds me of the other day me asking you
how your adventure of baking the perfect chocolate chip cookie
is going, and you just were like, oh, that was
a fun time in my life.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Oh yeah, you mean back in December. That was my
cookie season or my cookie era.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
So we're done with that.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Uh yeah, I'm done with that for now.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
I still have my basket full of materials, which I
think are also known as ingredients.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
But I have yet to bake anything.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I think part of that is is Christmas break, so
I had time off from work, so I had more bandwidth,
which apparently I need to make more bandwidth the baked cookies,
especially with my children, or they're just gonna remember me
for working. And I really have to cherish my time
wisely too, because I have my kids only fifty percent
of the time. Now, how do I say this, because
(24:03):
I don't want to say that this I would choose this,
because I never would. However, these are the cards were
dealt or we chose, or however you want to look
at it. And I think our kids, because of how
we're doing it, are kind of winning because we're trying
to maximize our time together on the week that we
have them. I think when they're with me and then
when they're with Ben, they're getting more of us and
(24:24):
more opportunities and more moments for connection and quality time
because it's like, oh, they're about to leave, like let's
go do something. It doesn't even to be something that
requires money, but it's just connection time and being intentional
about that because we've were sort of forced into that.
And maybe that's me looking for the silver lining in
a really crappy situation, but I'm thankful for it.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Yeah, I think that it's the whole idea. It's not
all bad, it's not all good. There is a good
and that's one of the things that you're experiencing. I
am thinking though, because I thought about this because Patrick's
parents are a divorced and his dad only got him
on certain weekends. I think the majority of the time
he spent with his mom. But when kids get older,
I imagine when I was a teenager, I didn't want
(25:08):
to spend quality time with my mom, and so I
imagine that that to be a hard balance, even for
a kid to also balance. Oh I only get to
spend or I only going to see my mom for
large chunks of time every other week, So the kid
is also experiencing this. Not what word to use, but
(25:30):
they might be more pooled to spend quality time with
you than if they live with you all the time. Yeah,
but it's like on your side, you are making it
more meaningful, but they might be doing that.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Too, which is awesome.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I feel that for my kids, I feel more connected
to them even though I'm seeing them less. It's a
weird thing for sure. And my daughter mentioned yesterday were
driving in the car. Guess what she wants to get?
Speaker 3 (25:53):
A car?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
She has a car.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
She just turned seventeen, so she got one of my
old cars, my very first car in arm. Like I
have a car that I got from two thousand and
six that we held onto and that's the car that
she's driving.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Does she drive to school?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, she drives to school.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I just can't believe that.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, although she did hit the mirror on the side
of the garage the other day and I couldn't get
mad at it because you know, I did that as
an adult one day, so.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Like I did that last week. Yeah, Wait, what did
she want to get?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
She wants to get a flip phone.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Yeah, what's her rationale for wanting to flip phone?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
She said she wants to have less screen time. What
I swear it's a gen Z thing. The gen Zers
like they're getting it. They want more connection. They're tired
of just looking at their phones all the time or
connecting with people on social media because social media is
not real. I feel like a lot of them are
starting to see it because it's it's a lot of
(26:51):
what they know, and they're like, well, wait a second,
the way y'all had it sounds a little bit better.
I kind of want to go backwards. What was once
cool is now cool again. Friends, trends happen, they go
round around. So then I got curious and I was like, okay,
because Stashira's gen Z. So I didn't know what Generation
Stevenson is because he was born in twenty ten.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
And I looked it up and he's Generation Alpha. Have
you ever heard of that?
Speaker 3 (27:18):
So do we just call him Alpha's?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I was just sharing this with you in case it
comes up on an easy trivia question or pop quiz
that you take somewhere.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Generation Alpha is.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
A thing that's interesting that Shia and him are different generations.
I mean, I know that they are years apart, but like.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Well, so she's two thousand and seven, and then Generation
Alpha starts from twenty ten to twenty twenty four, so
it's anyone born in the last fourteen years is generation Alpha,
which I didn't know. I'm barely a millennial.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
You're an elder millennial?
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Is that what they say it's called? Are you sure?
Speaker 3 (27:56):
There's a whole comedy special called elder Millennial? Have you
not seen it?
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I feel like maybe this is sounding familiar. Can you
refresh my memory because I'm an I'm an elder?
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Okay, Eliza. I don't know how to say her last
name starts with an S. I want to say it's
like schless singer, something like that, blesh singer. That's really
hard for me to say. Anyway, She's a hilarious comedian.
She has like four comedy specials on Netflix. I actually
just bought tickets to her show, She's coming to the
rhymem In in the fall. She did a special called
(28:28):
Elder Millennial and you have to watch it. You're gonna
pee your pants laughing. It is one of the funniest
specials I've ever seen. Mostly I related to it.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
So I just googled it. It's the one that's on Netflix.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Well, she has multiple it's not her newest one.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Oh it's from twenty eighteen. Okay, yeah, ooh, okay, yeah,
I'll watch this. I love a good comedy special.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
It is so funny.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Oh well, so do I need to get tickets to
the show in the fall?
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Who are you going with?
Speaker 3 (28:55):
I didn't tell you about it because I feel like
nobody knows who she is, but she's so famous.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
But I like to laugh, who are you going? Miss Patrick?
Of course you are. No, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
I actually am not. I'm going with my friend Toy,
who you met. But I told Patrick about it, and
I was like, I bought tour and I tickets to
the show. And he was like, well, I would have
wanted to come, and I was like, dang it. So
now I disappointed him and I disappointed you.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Well, guess what.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I'm going to text Patrick and try to get us
some tickets, and then Patrick and I are going to
go together. Did you just fit your drink out?
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I just took at the wrong time. Okay, that would
be really nice if you did that, because he would
feel better and more included, because you know, I would
be pissed if he got tickets to a show and
did and invite me, So I have to start treating
him how I want to be treated.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, that's probably wise, unless you would end up like me. Okay, Cat,
where can people find you?
Speaker 3 (29:50):
On Instagram? At Katt Defata and at Unique Therapy podcast.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
And I am at Radio Amy And I wish y'all
could see Kat's face when she's laughing. But because you're
on zoom, I don't know why, But does zoom not
pick up laughter? Because your face you're laughing. I know
your laugh sounds like so I feel like I'm hearing
it in my head, but all I hear through the
(30:14):
zoom is like, but I know it's a really big laugh,
but your your computer's not picking it up, so it
just sounds like, oh, there it is, there, it is. Oh.
Speaker 5 (30:28):
I'm at my office, so I'm trying not to be
super loud. I having people in the waiting room, so
I don't want them to be like, what the heck
kind of therapy is going on?
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Okay, Hey, if I heard laughter coming from a therapist's office,
I'd be like, Okay, I like this place sign me up.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Not the weird deep breathing laughter that I've been doing.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
All right, Well, we hope y'all are having the day
that you need to have, and don't work too much.
I'm thinking, like key takeaways from this or.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Like, but don't work too little, don't sit.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Still because you don't want to get run over, because
you're right where you need to be, but you got
to keep going. But then just work enough to where
your kids still know who you are.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
But don't annoy them and want to hang out with
them too much.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
And then also have grace when somebody messes up, like
Kat's husband had grace for her when she didn't do
the ticket. And then I think, I'm on team we
should wash our clothes before we wear them, because now
I feel like I'm starting to itch ever since we
started talking about this, and I'm like, shoot, there are
(31:35):
some toxins or chemicals on my shirt. I guess I'll
see all Thursday for four things, and then Kat and
I'll be back next Tuesday for the fifth thing. And
then Kat also has episodes up on her podcast it's
called You Need Therapy.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Definitely check it out.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
She's got such amazing interviews on there and also her
couch talks. You do different topics or even answer emails,
and which one's more fun for you or they the same.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
It depends on the topic. Okay, this is a new thing.
I have not done as many interviews with people I
didn't know in the past year or so because those
interviews actually cost me anxiety because you never know how
they're gonna go. However, I've been picking more up lately
and I've had some really, really good Specifically, the episode
(32:22):
that came out yesterday and the episode that's coming out
next week have been some of the most fun episodes
for me to do in conversations for me to have.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
So also a little lesson there is like sometimes you
step outside of your comfort zone because it may surprise you. Yeah, okay, well,
good to see your face. Hopefully you didn't scare anybody
in the waiting room. And tell Patrick I'm gonna text
him about the comedy show. Okay, okay, bye bye
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
And today's quote, well, I actually have two of them.
The first one is unknown and it's twenty years from now.
The only people who will remember if you worked late
are your kids. Ooh. I felt like that's a powerful one,
especially for parents, but I thought in case you don't
have kids. That's why I wanted to bring another quote
which could potentially contradict that quote, but it's from Will
(00:34):
Rogers and it's if you're on the right track, you
will get run over if you just sit there.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
So then I have to move right and do think
if I do things, the only people that are going
to know I do them are my children because.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
We're going to be working so hard trying to do
all the things.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
It's like you got to find that perfect balance of
don't sit there, seize the day, do everything you possibly can,
but also.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Don't work so much that your children don't know who
you are.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Are? Sweet, So which one should I listen to?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
You know? I feel like you're a therapist, so you'll
find the happy medium?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Okay? I read this book and then I interviewed the
author last week for UNI therapy called the Age of
magical overthinking, and she's talking about all these different cognitive
biases that we use to make sense of the world.
In one of the chapters, she listed out all of
these very famous sayings that all contradict themselves. I mean
(01:28):
that doesn't directly contradict itself, but one was like early
bird gets the worm, and the other one was like
slow and steady wins the race. Like those kinds of
things where it's like, huh, I guess the point is
you just pick the one that works for you in
that moment, kind of like how when I was younger,
every time I read my horoscope in a magazine, I
(01:48):
was like, that applies to me because you just make
it work for what you need.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, Like, in a sense, it can have the placebo effect,
like if that works for you and it ends up
working out because you thought it was going to be that,
then okay, fine, it worked right.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Which one are you?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Are you early bird gets the worm or you slow
and steady when's the race? Which I get This is
a little bit different, but it depends.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
On what it is. It depends on like if I
care about it enough.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Okay, I guess my curiosity now is just like if
it's early bird gets the worm, and that's you. I'm
just thinking about whether or not you're a morning person or.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Not, oh one hundred morning person.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I know, like kat Will, It'll be like six am
on a Saturday, and she's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I just played five games of pickleball and made breakfast
and went on a walk and watched a movie.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And I consider myself to be a morning person because
I really enjoy my mornings. I get frustrated if I
wake up and it's eight am. That really just can
be a buzzkill for my Saturday because I just want
some time to be slow. It's like I want to
be the early bird that's also slow and steady, like
(03:00):
just doing my thing.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
But yeah, you wake up and you go get it.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
I think that's part of the like seven and me,
because if I wake up at like ten o'clock, I'm
like half the day is gone. Now the day is over,
and I've wasted all this time. I could have been
doing activities and having fun during those hours, so I
was sleeping. But it's interesting because I was talking with
a client a couple weeks ago about she was like,
(03:24):
I need to get up earlier, and I was like,
why do you have something to be doing, and she's like, no,
I just feel like I should. And I was like, Okay,
that's fine if you want to wake up earlier, but
I don't want you to feel like you have to,
because that's what more successful people do. Like, if you
are somebody who likes working out in the afternoon, you
don't need to wake up at six am to work out.
That doesn't really make any sense. But I am the
(03:46):
kind of person who when it's nighttime, I want to
go to bed. So like there are certain people it's
nine o'clock and they're like the night just started, Like
they might eat dinner at nine o'clock, or they could
stay up watching TV all night or doing reading whatever.
When it's nine o'clock, I'm getting my So I feel
like I want to make the most out of the
hours that I have in the hours that I would
rather have would be earlier.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Well, so, because I have to wake up so early
in the mornings, I'm with you, like, I've trained myself
to go to bed. But I think even if I
didn't have early morning hours, like, I just like to
go to bed earlier so I can wake up. Earlier,
we had a friend over, one of my kids did,
and we were going to dinner. Some Sunday night, we
went to see Unsung Hero the movie, and then after
(04:28):
the movie, it got out at like four forty and
we were right by all these restaurants. So I said,
all right, kids, let's go get dinner. And the kid
that was with us was like, dinner, it's four forty five,
and Stashira just turned back to him. It was one
of Stevenson's friends. And she looks back at him and
she goes, welcome to our family. This is what time
(04:50):
we eat dinner, So get ready to order some food
or you're going to be hungry later.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Oh my gosh, that's funny. We had a Patrick and
I went to Chicago's past week and Friday night we
had a dinner reservation at nine thirty pm. Can you
believe that?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah? I just probably would be like, okay, I'm not
doing this.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
It was a restaurant we really wanted to go to,
but I was like, well, maybe it'll keep us up
and we might want to go out and explore. After
we're sitting at dinner and I'm like, so you ready
to go to bed? After this, there was no exploring
we had.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I want to know the high low from your weekend
in Chicago, and then I'll do a high low as well.
This is something fun speaking of that I was doing
with my kids. I feel like we go through phases
where we do it consistently and then we'll drop it
for a little bit and then at our four forty
five dinner. Actually the other night we did high low
of the weekend. So what was your high low from Chicago?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
So the low is very easy because we're on the
flight Friday. Our flight was at like five or something,
and I looked at Patrick and I said, did you
reserve the hotel or did I reserve it? And he
was like, well, I hope you did, because I sure didn't.
I said, oh, I'm sure that I did. So I
go to my email and I was like, oh, look,
(06:05):
I got the email. It was me. I did it.
I just used your credit card and he was like, okay, awesome.
So we're feeling really good. And then I opened the
email and I was like, at any point in this
trip where we supposed to get there on Saturday? And
he was like, why would you ask that? And I
was like, well, because I reserved a hotel for Saturday
and Sunday night, but we have nowhere to stay tonight,
(06:25):
and we're like on the way to Chicago and they're
in the air and so we can't do anything, which
I was immediately kind of like why would I not
have checked that. I was kind of mad at myself,
but Patrick was so nice and I looked at him
and I said, you do know if you did this,
(06:45):
I'd be so mad at you right now, Like I'd
be yelling at you on this plane right now. Why
are you not mad at me? He was like, obviously
you did do that on purpose, and there's nothing we
can do, and we're gonna be fine, Like we'll find
a hotel, even if we have to stay at some
random hotel, We're gonna be fine. And I just was like, okay,
but I do want you to know I'm not gonna
be able to help it. If you do something like
(07:06):
this and I.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Get mad you, well, what you should do is think
back to the grace he extended you and return it.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And I wonder if.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
He's this way with you because y'all are newlyweds, or
if fifteen years from now, when you forget to book
the hotel room because you probably will, or you book
it wrong, like I know your brain, it just may happen.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
And that's not a slam. I'm right there with you.
And I wonder if he's gonna.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Be like, oh, it's okay, Pumpkin, it's all going to
work out. We're good, or if he's gonna be like,
oh my god, I'm so tired of this.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I don't know, but he is so kind. I learned
a lot from him this weekend, and I'm very grateful
for him. But the high I have two One was
we went and saw a Second City show. Have you
ever seen one of those?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
No?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Do you know what Second City is?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
No?
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Okay, I had no idea what it was. Patrick is
the one that came up with that idea. It's where
like a lot of people from SNL got their start,
like Tina Fey, a lot of older people that I
wasn't familiar with. I think that Steve Carell was on there.
What's the mom from Home Alone? Moria Rose is what
I want to call her, and the dad from Shit's Creek,
both of them got started in the one from Canada,
(08:16):
Martin Short, Like we're looking at all the people that
got their start there. It's like half of the people
on SNL, I feel like, and it's this sketch comedy show.
It's two hours long and it is a mix between
like planned sketches that they like have done before in improv.
And I've never been to an improv show. I was
(08:37):
on the floor laughing. It was incredible. What we said
is if we would have known how good that was
going to be, we would have gone to it twice
while we were there. It was so good.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Oh yeah, that sounds like so fun. I want to
go to improv shows, even just here in Nashville. I
feel like that's something fun to do.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Where are they because there are classes, so they have
to have shows.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah, well I took an improv class in comedy Club.
They'll post on their calendar when they have them. I
wasn't ever a part of a show. I just did
a class. But I feel like it'd be so fun
if we got a group together and we all went
to Zany's or something, even if it was just for
a local comedy show. And then we've got to try
to see Trey Kennedy again.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yes, I love.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Him so much. I looked at her name Catherine O'Hara
or O'Hara. Yeah, yeah, is it O'Hara.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I don't know. I was gonna say Catherine O'Hare, but
I think that's the Chicago airport. But okay, I have
another high because this kind of caught me off guard.
So at the airport on the ride home, we were
at the airport and I noticed there is like a
screaming baby, like screaming baby in the airport where we
were waiting to get on the flight. And then I
looked over and it was a mom and her baby,
(09:45):
and then she had a two year old and she
was by herself.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
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Speaker 3 (10:57):
We were at the airport and I noticed there is
like a screen mean baby, like screaming baby in the
airport where we were waiting to get on the flight.
And then I looked over and it was a mom
and her baby. And then she had a two year
old and she was by herself and I was listening
to her talk to her two year old, and she
was so calm and so kind and so sweet to
(11:18):
her two year old. And I thought in my head internally,
she has to be freaking out. And I was just
very impressed by her. And then I felt really bad
for her too, because I'm sure she was flying with
those two small kids because she didn't have an option. Well,
then something happened and I think that like the kid
started getting kind of scared, and there was just like
a kerfuffle happening, and multiple people in the airport rushed
(11:40):
over to help her. One woman went and bought her
a coffee. It it was very sweet. And then we
get on the airplane and we sit kind of near her.
Somebody already took the seat next to her, else I
probably would have sat next to her, but we were
kind of near her. The baby screamed like the entire flight,
and I'm just like crying like I can't help it,
and Patrick like what is wrong? And I was like,
(12:01):
I feel so bad for her because the whole time
as her baby's screaming, she's being so sweet to her
two year old, being like, oh, do you see any
swimming pools out there? Or what do you want to
do when we get home, because I'm sure the little
kid was probably afraid to of flying. And then there's
all these people around her being like you're doing a
great job. I'm crying now, like thinking about it. And
(12:22):
at first I was like am I pregnant? Like why
am I am this emotional? I'm not pregnant. Your eyes
are like are you about to announce you're pregnant? I'm
not pregnant. But there was some stuff that happened while
we were in Chicago, and I was like, gosh, people
are mean. People could have been really mean to her
because her baby was screaming, but it is like all
(12:43):
the right people are in the right space being so
empathetic and kind. A woman helped her carry all of
her stuff off the plane. It was so sweet. And
then when they're getting off the plane, the mom was like, Okay,
tell everybody thanks for being patient to the little two
year old. And he looked back at the plane with
all of us still on and he goes, thanks, folks,
like it was so cute.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I mean, and it's just it's good to have faith
in humanity. It's restored in a way because, yeah, if
you've witnessed a lot of hurtful things, which is a
perfect transition into my low So I can sort of
relate to this with an email that I got from
someone to the podcast email so four Things with Amy
Brown at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
And then I clicked out of the emails because I
was like, you know what, I think, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
I'm not gonna read anymore for the time being because
I don't always go check it, and you know, someone
has to ruin it with this. I'm not even gonna
say his name because I don't want to give satisfaction.
But it was from a male account at least. I
don't know if it's real or fake or they you know,
if they set up an account. It's not really their name.
I don't know, but I don't want to give them
(13:46):
that satisfaction. But the subject was howdy, and I thought, well, howdy.
I went to Texas A and m giggle them this
is probably an email about George Straight at kyled Field
in June or something, and then I ope it up
and it said just wanted to say you're an e
fing nutcase, but it said the full you know all
(14:08):
said that's all. I said, howdy and then just wanted
to say you are a blanking nutcase. I thought, oh cool.
Not really the best time to tell someone that when
you know they're transitioning, because I feel like this was
happening to me.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
What do you mean transitioning.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I feel like I'm in a good place now, but
the last several weeks I've been adjusting to being off
meds and starting testosterone and speaking of hormones, I know
you're not really pregnant, but I will say. In one
of your pictures that you posted from Chicago. Her handles
at Katt Defada. If you go look at her little feed,
she's got a little carousel of pictures of her and Patrick,
(14:46):
and there's one where he's you have a fanny pack
or something across your.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Chest and he's holding you and I swear to you.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
When I was swiping, I thought, is this a soft
launch pregnancy announcement because it looked like he was holding
your baby Billy.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I posted that and I go, Patrick, I look like
I'm pregnant, and he goes, I wonder how many people
are gonna think that we're announcing our pregnancy. Just like
two months into dating, we posted a picture and I
had my hand on his chest and there I was
wearing a ring, and so many people message and asked
if we got engaged. His cousin called him and be like,
are you engaged? And so we thought it might be
(15:23):
like the same kind of thing, but apparently people might
think of pregnant.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I'm not, So she's not pregnant.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
She's just emotional and empathetic, like you were feeling for
that woman, which is very sweet, and I too can
be emotional at times, and I wouldn't call myself a
nutcase though, So thanks for the email.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Kick a girl when she's down.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
It's almost like, what's the point. What was the point
of that?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
It came twice in a row? Like if I open
up the email right now, I'll open up just to
see what it looked like real quick. So it came
in at six thirteen pm and then boom at six
teen pm. Again it was like there was another So
it's almost like maybe he tried to send it and
he didn't know if it's sent, so he sent it
again immediately following.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
But it's like, okay, got.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
It, you don't have to how many times did you
feel like you needed to send this message? So you know,
good times. That's just a low because what's wrong with people?
But obviously I'm not really letting it impact me because
this is just one of those things where we can't
listen to people online at times. And then my high
would be the shortbread cookies that I just had right
(16:31):
before we started recording and my new shirt that I'm wearing.
So you had a double high, so I'm gonna do
a double high.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
I was going to say, I like your shirt.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Okay, well, I just got it at Ritzia and it's
like this silky cream color and it's a button down
and I did like a half tuck in the front,
half tuck in the back.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
We call it the Gael tuck.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I follow this stylist person named Gael, I think ever
handles like at Gail Style, and she has the Gael tuck,
and it's where you leave the sides out, see and
then you kind of like tucking took in the front.
I just stood up so that Kat could see.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
We're on zoom.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
But I love this shirt, so I was just gonna
let y'all know. It's some silky short sleeve button down
for Maritzia. I don't know the official name, but I
can link it in the show notes if anybody wants it,
because it's brought me so much joy. I feel professional
in it yet casual, like I wore it to work
today with jeans and little booties and some hoop ear
(17:27):
rings and it's so simple yet something feels very professional.
So I want to maybe even see if they have
other colors, which I'm able to shop because I got
a check from the consignment store where my clothes are
so I put them at the consignment shop. I think
I told you about it. It's near your house, and I
finally I got paid. So I've been doing a little
(17:48):
bit of shopping because if you're new to listening, I'm
doing this whole thing this year where I'm not buying
new clothes until i get money from selling old clothes
that I'm no longer wearing, either at this consignment store
or on Poshmark or whatever other way I get creative
to sell clothes. I did mail off my boxes to
thread Up, but so far I don't have anything from
(18:11):
that yet. They may receive the box and open it
up and be like, yeah, we're gonna donate these.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Which is fine.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I mean, I feel like there's some cute stuff, but
I do realize there's like a probably a timeframe of
like when something was in style or wasn't.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But this shirt is because I decided to wear a
less min. I just bought it.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I normally washed things before I wear it, and I
didn't wash it. I just took the tags off and
came straight here. And then coincidentally, when I was preparing
some work for the Bobby Bone Show, I saw this
whole article about how America's divided on.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
This, and it's fifty to fifty.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Like half of people think, you absolutely, before you wear something,
you need to wash it, and then other people were like, yeah,
who cares, Just put it on and wear it.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I never in my life considered washing a brand new
shirt before I wore it, unless it's not really brand
new and I got it from like a thrift store
or something like that, I'll wash it. But if I'm
just like going to Target.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Well I'm gonna share with you. They explained their answers. Okay, okay,
so the reason why people answered whichever way they did.
Someone said, yes, you wash it, you don't know how
many people have handled it. No, I should, but it's
all downhill after that first wash, nothing's ever the same.
And then someone said, yes if they're bought in store. No,
(19:29):
if they're bought online and they come in a sealed
product packaging. But I still feel like multiple people could
have tried that product on. Doesn't mean you're guaranteed to
be the only person that has tried it on. But
mostly the consensus is yes, because you don't know how
many people have tried it on, and because of chemicals
that might be on there from when it was made
and if you wash it then you get rid of those.
(19:51):
And then someone said, here, no, your skin is an
excellent barrier for any bad stuff on the garment. I'm like,
I feel like your skin is a welcoming barrier.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
I guess, depending on what it is, but I'm with
the person that says it's all downhill from here. I
love something before it is washed for the first time,
then I feel like the materials different. Definitely not dry
cleaning a brand new which I actually had this conversation
with Patrick recently. Dry cleaning. I have personally never taken
anything to the dry cleaners. Ever. I don't know how
(20:22):
it works. I don't know what they do. I don't
understand what a dry cleaner does. Do they just clean stains?
I have personally never taken anything to the dry cleaners, ever.
I don't know how it works. I don't know what
(20:42):
they do. I don't understand what a dry cleaner does.
Do they just clean stains?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I don't know how it works, but they clean it
the whole thing. Yes, if you need a spot treatment, absolutely,
but something about the entire product or the entire garment
has to be cleaned because you know, it's not just
the spot treatment thing. It's an overall.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
That's why I've never really understood it. I've had people
take stuff to the dry cleaner for me, but I've
never been to a dry cleaner. It feels like it's
too far gone.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Now let me see, I'm googling how does dry cleaning work?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Dry cleaning uses a waterless cleaning process to remove dirt
and debris from clothing. Dry cleaning uses a specialized large
machine that cleans clothing using a solvent. The solvent is
then extracted from the clothes and they are air dried
and pressed. So the entire garment is getting cleaned. It's
not just one part of it.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
So it does get wet.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Nope, it's not. It's a waterless cleaning process. Tho is
the first sentence, which I didn't even recall that I
said that, we said that solvent.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
How can I solve that? I don't. It's like too
complicated for my brain to understand this.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, thank goodness, we don't have to be in charge
of the process. But there was this episode of House.
Did you ever watch that? Okay, so dot true House.
There was a patient that came in and they had
a brand new pair of pants that they have never washed,
and there was toxins on the pants and it caused
the person to almost die. And then of course, you know,
(22:13):
he solved the case because that's what the house is
all about. But it was from the chemicals on a
new pair of pants.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
So where did he buy the pants?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Well, I'm not sure, I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
It was an episode from House, like when when was
House on air, like early two thousands. Yeah, hopefully it
wasn't a ritzia because that's what I have on right
now and I did not wash it. But it is
definitely cute and this sure is one of my highs.
And then don't sleep on short bread cookies because I
(22:44):
forget how good they are.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
And it brought me.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
So much joy when I popped the cookie into my mouth,
like I was like, this is what life's all about.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Where did you get this cookie? Work? Oh, it's just
a random yeah random.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Maybe I was starving, so not sure I would have
enjoyed the short cookie as much if I was it.
But it just makes you think, like I would put
short bread cookie in my top five cookies of all time.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
I think I would I love a short cookie.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Okay, good, then we can be friends, thank God.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Which reminds me of the other day me asking you
how your adventure of baking the perfect chocolate chip cookie
is going, and you just were like, oh, that was
a fun time in my life.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Oh yeah, you mean back in December. That was my
cookie season or my cookie era.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
So we're done with that.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Uh yeah, I'm done with that for now.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
I still have my basket full of materials, which I
think are also known as ingredients.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
But I have yet to bake anything.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I think part of that is is Christmas break, so
I had time off from work, so I had more bandwidth,
which apparently I need to make more bandwidth the baked cookies,
especially with my children, or they're just gonna remember me
for working. And I really have to cherish my time
wisely too, because I have my kids only fifty percent
of the time. Now, how do I say this, because
(24:03):
I don't want to say that this I would choose this,
because I never would. However, these are the cards were
dealt or we chose, or however you want to look
at it. And I think our kids, because of how
we're doing it, are kind of winning because we're trying
to maximize our time together on the week that we
have them. I think when they're with me and then
when they're with Ben, they're getting more of us and
(24:24):
more opportunities and more moments for connection and quality time
because it's like, oh, they're about to leave, like let's
go do something. It doesn't even to be something that
requires money, but it's just connection time and being intentional
about that because we've were sort of forced into that.
And maybe that's me looking for the silver lining in
a really crappy situation, but I'm thankful for it.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Yeah, I think that it's the whole idea. It's not
all bad, it's not all good. There is a good
and that's one of the things that you're experiencing. I
am thinking though, because I thought about this because Patrick's
parents are a divorced and his dad only got him
on certain weekends. I think the majority of the time
he spent with his mom. But when kids get older,
I imagine when I was a teenager, I didn't want
(25:08):
to spend quality time with my mom, and so I
imagine that that to be a hard balance, even for
a kid to also balance. Oh I only get to
spend or I only going to see my mom for
large chunks of time every other week, So the kid
is also experiencing this. Not what word to use, but
(25:30):
they might be more pooled to spend quality time with
you than if they live with you all the time. Yeah,
but it's like on your side, you are making it
more meaningful, but they might be doing that.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Too, which is awesome.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I feel that for my kids, I feel more connected
to them even though I'm seeing them less. It's a
weird thing for sure. And my daughter mentioned yesterday were
driving in the car. Guess what she wants to get?
Speaker 3 (25:53):
A car?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
She has a car.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
She just turned seventeen, so she got one of my
old cars, my very first car in arm. Like I
have a car that I got from two thousand and
six that we held onto and that's the car that
she's driving.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Does she drive to school?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, she drives to school.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I just can't believe that.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, although she did hit the mirror on the side
of the garage the other day and I couldn't get
mad at it because you know, I did that as
an adult one day, so.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Like I did that last week. Yeah, Wait, what did
she want to get?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
She wants to get a flip phone.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Yeah, what's her rationale for wanting to flip phone?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
She said she wants to have less screen time. What
I swear it's a gen Z thing. The gen Zers
like they're getting it. They want more connection. They're tired
of just looking at their phones all the time or
connecting with people on social media because social media is
not real. I feel like a lot of them are
starting to see it because it's it's a lot of
(26:51):
what they know, and they're like, well, wait a second,
the way y'all had it sounds a little bit better.
I kind of want to go backwards. What was once
cool is now cool again. Friends, trends happen, they go
round around. So then I got curious and I was like, okay,
because Stashira's gen Z. So I didn't know what Generation
Stevenson is because he was born in twenty ten.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
And I looked it up and he's Generation Alpha. Have
you ever heard of that?
Speaker 3 (27:18):
So do we just call him Alpha's?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I was just sharing this with you in case it
comes up on an easy trivia question or pop quiz
that you take somewhere.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Generation Alpha is.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
A thing that's interesting that Shia and him are different generations.
I mean, I know that they are years apart, but like.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Well, so she's two thousand and seven, and then Generation
Alpha starts from twenty ten to twenty twenty four, so
it's anyone born in the last fourteen years is generation Alpha,
which I didn't know. I'm barely a millennial.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
You're an elder millennial?
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Is that what they say it's called? Are you sure?
Speaker 3 (27:56):
There's a whole comedy special called elder Millennial? Have you
not seen it?
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I feel like maybe this is sounding familiar. Can you
refresh my memory because I'm an I'm an elder?
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Okay, Eliza. I don't know how to say her last
name starts with an S. I want to say it's
like schless singer, something like that, blesh singer. That's really
hard for me to say. Anyway, She's a hilarious comedian.
She has like four comedy specials on Netflix. I actually
just bought tickets to her show, She's coming to the
rhymem In in the fall. She did a special called
(28:28):
Elder Millennial and you have to watch it. You're gonna
pee your pants laughing. It is one of the funniest
specials I've ever seen. Mostly I related to it.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
So I just googled it. It's the one that's on Netflix.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Well, she has multiple it's not her newest one.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Oh it's from twenty eighteen. Okay, yeah, ooh, okay, yeah,
I'll watch this. I love a good comedy special.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
It is so funny.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Oh well, so do I need to get tickets to
the show in the fall?
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Who are you going with?
Speaker 3 (28:55):
I didn't tell you about it because I feel like
nobody knows who she is, but she's so famous.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
But I like to laugh, who are you going? Miss Patrick?
Of course you are. No, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
I actually am not. I'm going with my friend Toy,
who you met. But I told Patrick about it, and
I was like, I bought tour and I tickets to
the show. And he was like, well, I would have
wanted to come, and I was like, dang it. So
now I disappointed him and I disappointed you.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Well, guess what.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I'm going to text Patrick and try to get us
some tickets, and then Patrick and I are going to
go together. Did you just fit your drink out?
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I just took at the wrong time. Okay, that would
be really nice if you did that, because he would
feel better and more included, because you know, I would
be pissed if he got tickets to a show and
did and invite me, So I have to start treating
him how I want to be treated.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, that's probably wise, unless you would end up like me. Okay, Cat,
where can people find you?
Speaker 3 (29:50):
On Instagram? At Katt Defata and at Unique Therapy podcast.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
And I am at Radio Amy And I wish y'all
could see Kat's face when she's laughing. But because you're
on zoom, I don't know why, But does zoom not
pick up laughter? Because your face you're laughing. I know
your laugh sounds like so I feel like I'm hearing
it in my head, but all I hear through the
(30:14):
zoom is like, but I know it's a really big laugh,
but your your computer's not picking it up, so it
just sounds like, oh, there it is, there, it is. Oh.
Speaker 5 (30:28):
I'm at my office, so I'm trying not to be
super loud. I having people in the waiting room, so
I don't want them to be like, what the heck
kind of therapy is going on?
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Okay, Hey, if I heard laughter coming from a therapist's office,
I'd be like, Okay, I like this place sign me up.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Not the weird deep breathing laughter that I've been doing.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
All right, Well, we hope y'all are having the day
that you need to have, and don't work too much.
I'm thinking, like key takeaways from this or.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Like, but don't work too little, don't sit.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Still because you don't want to get run over, because
you're right where you need to be, but you got
to keep going. But then just work enough to where
your kids still know who you are.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
But don't annoy them and want to hang out with
them too much.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
And then also have grace when somebody messes up, like
Kat's husband had grace for her when she didn't do
the ticket. And then I think, I'm on team we
should wash our clothes before we wear them, because now
I feel like I'm starting to itch ever since we
started talking about this, and I'm like, shoot, there are
(31:35):
some toxins or chemicals on my shirt. I guess I'll
see all Thursday for four things, and then Kat and
I'll be back next Tuesday for the fifth thing. And
then Kat also has episodes up on her podcast it's
called You Need Therapy.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Definitely check it out.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
She's got such amazing interviews on there and also her
couch talks. You do different topics or even answer emails,
and which one's more fun for you or they the same.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
It depends on the topic. Okay, this is a new thing.
I have not done as many interviews with people I
didn't know in the past year or so because those
interviews actually cost me anxiety because you never know how
they're gonna go. However, I've been picking more up lately
and I've had some really, really good Specifically, the episode
(32:22):
that came out yesterday and the episode that's coming out
next week have been some of the most fun episodes
for me to do in conversations for me to have.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
So also a little lesson there is like sometimes you
step outside of your comfort zone because it may surprise you. Yeah, okay, well,
good to see your face. Hopefully you didn't scare anybody
in the waiting room. And tell Patrick I'm gonna text
him about the comedy show. Okay, okay, bye bye
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