May 1, 2020 • 24 mins
Chip gets “accidentally” drunk before the Act Casual recording and the duo dives into the rise of drinking during social isolation. They also answer a listener email about dating.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, well, well, hey Chip, so we actually we actually
had that casual topic planned out and then Chip called
in and he's a little drunk. I love throwing a
curveball and ship. You really did throw a wrench into
this day. What's going on over there? Man? Well, you know,
(00:21):
I figured it's Friday. It's actually Thursday right now, it's Thursday.
But well it's Friday somewhere. I mean, this will be
coming out on Friday, so people will be listening on Friday.
But I bet you, as we're talking, it's already Friday
in Australia and Japan, though you keep telling yourself that,
my friend, it's Thursday where you are. But okay, in
(00:45):
the immortal words of Rebecca Black, it's fridaying eating. I
literally have no idea what you're talking about. You don't know,
Rebecca Black. What, Oh my god, I'm gonna send it
to you when we're done. Okay. It was just it
was this teenage we're digressing a little bit. But you're listen. Now,
you have to tell us she so it was this
(01:07):
was probably I mean, she's an adult now, like she
actually just came out as like I don't know that
she's gay, but she dates women too, but she um
her parents paid for her to go to a recording
studio and like record a song and make a music video.
And a song was called Friday. Okay, it's kind of
actually coming back, and it went super viral because I mean,
(01:31):
it's so catchy, but it's kind of a bad song,
but you don't so catchy. But then she ended up
in like I mean, she became famous, Like she ended
up in a Katie Perry video and like, but she's
now talked about like how she was really bullied and
blah blah blah. So to Rebecca Black, she's still putting
out music and it's frying eating, except it's Thursday. It's
(01:54):
still Thursday. I gotta get drunk on frying Okay, So
what are you doing? Like what made you need to
start drinking right now? So look, I have been holed
up in Nashville and haven't we all? Yes, And I thought,
I'm just going to go down to the beach to
a friend's house. That's a private house. No one's been
(02:16):
in it, no one's on the beach. Um. In fact,
I think I think the beach technically opens tomorrow. But um,
I think private owners have been a lot on the beach.
It's just not open to the public. So, um, I
got down here today and then needed to go sit
on the beach. So I literally jumped over boards that
(02:38):
were blocking the thing and just went. And there was
some other local residents down there, so just having some
beers watching the sunset, and I was only going to
have a couple and then I turned into five. Yeah,
as it does, you know, especially on a beach, right,
It's just it's actually it's in the eighties, so it
was like nice it was, but there was it was
pretty windy, so I've got a lot of sand in
(02:59):
my teeth. But yeah, whatever, So well, there's nothing like
calling into work and being tipsy. Well you know, look,
I've been on tim calls where people are drinking so
much are elier than I started drinking. So isn't that
so interesting? It's the things that would never be acceptable
in real life are all of a sudden acceptable during
(03:21):
this quarantine period. Totally. I mean, look, we live in Tennessee.
Tennessee just started selling alcohol on Sundays because it's the
Bible Belt. It just they just let wine into the
grocery stores, not and like a couple of years ago.
I mean, yeah, I mean it's it is really new
in terms of you know, our country that these things
(03:45):
have been allowed. But they are now allowing bars to
sell to go drinks. Oh yeah bars, you know, like rules,
So what are rules? The only rule is just stay safe? Yeah,
I mean, no one really knows what's happening. I've read actually,
because we were talking about this, I was like getting
on my computer really fast, and I'm like, how much
has drinking gone up? And the truth is that it's
(04:07):
gone up so much and so much so that people
are saying like they are actually getting on zoom calls
after a couple of drinks to do work because it's
like you're sitting at your house and they feel like
they can fully function, Like you would never go to
your office and do that. No, never, Well, look, I
would normally have researched for this, but I was on
(04:27):
the beach, so did. I did read an article the
other day that said beer sales will way up, and
like I'm pretty sure was bush Light, which is the
best thing about that whole statement, Like all the beers
for what I mean, is it one of the cheaper beers? Yeah,
And apparently they've been doing like really creative marketing, like
(04:48):
as it feels very like American or something. Totally yeah,
and that's you know, like if the temperature in Colorado
is a certain temperature, then their beers have like they're
doing like cute things. Oh yeah, but apparently like white
cow is the hottest thing on the market right now.
Yeah it's gluten free man. Oh okay, So I think
so because I've had them before and you know I
(05:10):
can't do gluten um. I also, before I put myself
in the line of fire to anyone who's listening, like
I am taking I look, I am taking COVID seriously,
like as like a I try not to have shame.
I don't want to, like that's not healthy to live with.
(05:32):
But I am this me coming down here and doing this,
Like I am around fewer people than I am in Nashville.
My only necessity is to go to the grocery store
to get food, which in Nashville. I filled up in
Nashville and got here. I'll fill up here and get
(05:52):
back to Nashville. So before anyone wants to throw some
hate around people love it because men to that, you know,
I just came down here for some blue skies and
some fucking sands. So but I'm taking this seriously and
we all should be. If you rant, if you can
(06:12):
find it, great, right, look, if you can find it.
I love that I'm recording this right now. I like,
if you can find an escape that's safe, I think
you should have it because you know, like I'm dealing
with friends that are sending me really depressing ship and
it's like it's we're all in this and everyone is
feeling it, like some people are feeling it a lot
(06:33):
worse than others. But like, if we can all find
some joy and escape, I recommend it, but just do
it safely. Hey, and I want to point out to
all the listeners as well, your job has not been
one that has stopped, so you've been extremely stressed out
and busy. I'm really happy for you that you're getting
away for a couple of days at least to just
chill out. Thank you. Change the scenery it's needed. If
(06:54):
I was like, wait a minute, vacation is still in
like my employment contract, you know what, Right, I could
take a couple of days, but meanwhile I am still
working down here, Like I'll work tomorrow a little bit,
but it's workers and I took a pay cut, so
it's like that's happening everywhere, right. It's stressful. It's stressful.
(07:16):
It's stressful. So it's like, if I need this from
my brain then and my like emotional well being, then
I'm going to take it. And I think it's fair
and I think we all should approach things with fairness.
And that's an interesting point you bring up about just
the mental health that's going on right now, like everyone
is really just trying to survive. And um, I read
an article the other day. It was in the Philadelphia Inquiry,
(07:39):
which is really random, but I was reading about a
lot of this stuff and a lot of people are saying, oh,
we're drinking more. Is that bad for our health? Is
that bad for our mental health? And a lot of
people are saying it's actually fine because this is this
isn't going to increase the addiction or alcoholism stuff that
comes up after this. This is one of as periods
(08:00):
of time where people are genuinely trying to survive. You're
looking for that bright spot at the end of the
hard day. Um, whatever it is, whatever it is that
gets you through. It's kind of what psychologists are even saying,
and then you're at home all day, and especially if
you have kids, oh sanity. On a normal day, you
(08:21):
get in your car, you drive to work, you come home,
and like that stuff breaks up your day. If having
a couple of drinks at the end of your work
day or at lunch make sure day feel a little
broken up, then do it. Like we're all in control
of our own mental health and everyone it's not one
(08:41):
size fits all. So what my advice is is to
sort of do it within your own means, and you know,
don't let it get out of hand, have control of it,
but also give yourself a break. Yeah, I think that
that's kind of what we were saying. Everything sort of
seems like they're no rules. No one has this figured
out yet, so everyone's just trying to survive. I know.
(09:05):
For instance, I told you my boyfriend and I have
been homeschooling his two daughters during the day, and oh
my god, like our happy hours, I mean, I keep
we make the joke, we keep making the joke. And
I've said this on this podcast before, but it's like
our happy hours keep getting like progressively earlier, you know,
I'm like, well, like look at each other after trying
to teach a kindergarten um spelling and writing and math,
(09:29):
and I'm like, they have no attention span. It takes
all the patients in the world, even if the kids
are just amazing and adorable, but you're sitting there trying
to walk them through it while you have work going on,
while you're managing all the stresses that coronavirus. I haven't
done maths since. I'm like, by the way, you're never
going to use this, That's what I want to say.
(09:50):
It's like, yeah, girls, girls, girls, you imagine I would
get told you to ask her when the fund have
you learned that? When did you use the capitals? Teach
me something I need to know? How do I do
my taxes? What if I just started sending them back
to their teacher with like, prove it that I need
(10:12):
to use this misrich prove it. That's kind of what
I want to say. Let me see the question on
the s T No. Literally, it's like, let me see
the question and my job later. It's just never whatever.
But anyway, we digressed, dissed. The point is is homeschool
makes me need tequila really really bad. Like it's just
it's like all the patients in the world, and by
(10:33):
the end of the day, you're like, I need the streak. Look,
I got a call from a friend who had been
laid off recently, and this was I mean it was
some time around twelve or one. This was a couple
of weeks ago. She was ship faced, okay, you know,
and like to a point where it was a little concerning.
But I'm also like, you know what, she's got bad news.
(10:55):
She's down, as long as it doesn't get out, like,
what's bad news? Wait what I mean she got she
got laid off. She got laid off. It had been
a couple of days, you know, prior to her calling me.
But she was definitely like slurring. I mean, she didn't
tell me she was drunk. Yeah, I heard it, like
it was probably what I saw him like now times two.
(11:18):
I think the hard thing is is that you know,
there are these major stresses like getting laid off, and
I am not sitting here trying to condone like drink
your troubles away. But again, I think it's just we
we gotta go a little loud on ourselves and whatever
you need to do for the moment, do it, because
things like getting laid off are really stressful. But things
like getting laid off when there really is no other
(11:39):
job to go get is really stressful. And it's like
really stress Yeah, how are you going to pay your bills?
It's all the things that we've all felt at some
point during this time, and yeah, you just deal how
you deal totally, and like you know, I said to
her in particular, like try to find the under standing
(12:00):
in this that it had nothing to do with you,
you know, like it never know, none of this. People
are getting fired right now, you know, like they're not
getting fired laid off because whatever people can't afford it. Yeah,
it's really really tough, and it's you know, emotionally, everyone's
going to deal with it a little differently. But if
you can look at yourself in the mirror and know
(12:23):
that you were doing a great job and have nothing
to do with you, if that helps a little bit.
And if and if you need a cocktail to get there,
have that cocktail. Have it just like you did have
a bush light. Okay, I mean, I'm hey, if Miller
Lite wants to sponsor this podcast, they can, because I
just opened my six to one, oh refreshing. I mean,
(12:47):
I'll do a product trade, I think. Okay, so there.
Our whole point is do what you need to do
to have fun to keep your mental health alive. Also,
I do think it's a thing to say take care
of your body as well, like you said, like being conscious. Also,
we don't want to kill our immune systems right now.
Everyone needs to be really healthy, a healthy as possible
(13:09):
to fight this virus. So hey, hey, and to echo that, Yeah,
what do you got I've lost I've been I've lost
fourteen pounds in the last three weeks by beating keto. Wow,
this beer drinking is a bit of a cheat for
me and my body probably just reacting to beer, you know,
like I probably got a little more buzz faster because
I haven't been drinking beer. But um, so I'm taking
(13:32):
care of myself, but I'm also allowing myself to have
a little bit of fun. Some Miller ledes not on
the keto diet. Okay, good to know, noted. Well, I
thought they're probably are some beers that are, but I
don't know what they are. Actually, I don't think so
at all. Yeah, I was gonna say maybe something different,
like tequiler or vodka. But we'll look into that and
report back to you guys. With all of that said,
(13:54):
now that everyone's aware of chips state I cannot I
cannot be held accountable point and I think I say,
well that's false. But okay, um, we're gonna move to
our listener email for the week. Actually posted something on
my Instagram earlier today, so some people were d M
(14:16):
MEI as well, and this is a DM. I'm really
glad because I feel like we've got some really great
ammunition for the next couple of weeks. So you guys
keep those emails coming to at casual at velvet edge
dot com or just send me a d M at
Velvet Tide flat on in give us your questions. I like,
I love that we actually are not experts on anything,
but we are going to give advice on a lot
(14:38):
of topics and it's great. Um speaking of speaking of
maybe you were experts on drinking? Is that something to
be an expe right now? Okay, I mean we might,
but you know, I'm like, I love arm track expert. Listen.
Yeah great, but I'm so pissed that he's told he
has that name because I feel like you and are
(15:00):
armed Transfer. It's like we're expert opinion. Sometimes there is
a little bit of expertise when we're talking about some things,
but for the most part, like you guys have to
like take us with a bit of a grain of
salt because I actually don't at all. I actually feel
(15:22):
like I am an expert on this topic that we're
going to speak about today. And um, okay, I'll just
go ahead and read the question. It's a very simple question,
straight up in my d MS. How should you stop
dating douche bags? Yeah, I mean, can I go first? Sure?
(15:43):
Please stop? Well, you know, chip for some of us,
it's not that easy. No judgment here on this podcast.
I mean, don't you see him coming a mile away?
You know? The worst part is I think my friends
see them coming all the way and I'm like, no, no, no, no,
this one is different. They don't. They are in disguise
(16:05):
to me. And here's here's what I have to say.
Here's what I have to say. I do well. I
think it's like, you know, a lot of douche bags
can be in disguise, So let's not place judgment on
any of us or mean, dB I D what can
(16:26):
you not? Can you not acronym whild drinking. Okay, sorry, okay,
So this is something that I have truly struggled with
for years, not even trying to be funny here. This
is my life, this is my reality. Um, but I
think the first thing to say would be, you got
to go to therapy, girl. You've got to figure out
(16:48):
what is going on, because if you have a broken yeah,
if you have a broken picker and you're picking douchebags
over and over and over, there's a reason, Like, there's
a reason we all pick who we pick. You know,
you're not just like randomly going, oh, this is the
hottest guy in the bar, that too, I'm gonna pick,
or the thing about you know, oh I'm so charged
to him. We have so much chemistry. Well is it
(17:09):
chemistry or is it like your dysfunction that's drawn to
someone else? This is what comfort? Yeah, it's familiar. So
you're either like what I've learned in therapy a lot
is that you're mostly either trying to recreate a relationship
from your past or your subconsciously. This is what's so
hard picking people to try that that that like mimic
(17:30):
a relationship that you've had in your past, and you're
trying to fix that, Like if it was gonna I
was gonna say a lot of people wanting to fix
other people. Yes, that was like my therapist straight up
said to me one time, if you come across another
wounded man, you need to run in the other direction
(17:52):
because I just like I am, it's my kryptonite, Like
I just want to go to them, and I yeah,
I think I can. I don't know if I think
that I can fix them consciously, but it's what I'm
drawn to, so I've had to be very conscious with it.
I don't think I've done that perfectly, even even after therapy.
I don't think that I've like figured it out. But
you just look for progress, you know, and you just
(18:14):
I think for me, it's been trying to find someone
who I can be in a relationship who actually wants
to grow too. So you're trying to grow together. It's
not like you're perfect, it's just you're working and growing together. Well,
I mean, I just had this thought, like because I
feel like it's pretty common that you hear like, oh
my god, it's just like I keep dating these people
out I feel like I'm like I have this like
(18:36):
hero um complex where like I need to save them
and like, but the truth is we should all be
looking for people that um are open to, like you
being vulnerable and you being yourself, and that's it, and
you grow together and it's not about like what you
(18:57):
like you doing something for him or him doing something
for you, other than accepting you for who you are,
like with your all your bumps and roises and your
scars and and then all the good things about you
and the acceptance that like, none of us are perfect.
I fall into the same trap. I don't. I don't
(19:18):
necessarily like categorize mine as douche bags because I don't
know that I really have experience with douche bags. But
I definitely have experience with like like trying to help
and like feeling it I'm not or that like feeling
of like I'm not worthy of help. So in order
for this to work, I need to be helping somebody.
(19:39):
I need to elevate somebody. But like, you know what,
we all need a little bit of help. So yeah,
why don't we just be open like being helped and
helping And that's called acceptance. Yes, I think that's not
a relationship to where you're both doing it for each other.
So I don't know if there's like a one stop
shop on how to stop dating douche bag, other than
(20:01):
to look at yourself and to figure out what your
motivations are deep down, what's going on with you that's
not healed or something that you need to work through
from your past even But to me that like, once
you start really kind of figuring that out and looking
at that part of it and healing yourself, it seems
like your attraction changes a little bit and the things
(20:23):
that you're drawn to hopefully are a little healthier for
you and good for you and not like do she right? Well,
I in the midst of this conversation, just do a
gold guy names oh cool, So you're gonna help me
stay away from these guys. This this is obviously a generalization,
(20:43):
and it's on Radio Windy dot com. Radio Windy sounds
very like, of course you are twice because everybody in
my real name is not Chip. I really names um.
So many things happening right now, Miller light Ship reads.
(21:06):
This is the most act casual woment. Guys are number
I'm gonna go and reverse number fifteen, Matthew number fourteen,
Tommy number, Eric number twelve, Ryan number eleven, Scott number ten,
Mike Slash, Michael number nine, Brandon number eight, Bradley number seven,
(21:27):
Frank number six, Travis number five, Tyler number four, Adam
number three, Jeff number two, Mark, and number one Nick.
I've literally dated four of those guys. They're like so generic.
I would have thought, like much more like shitty country
(21:47):
clip names. You know, give us an example of what
you mean. Oh God, I'm gonna fun, I'm gonna find
somebody here. I mean, honestly, Ship is so much more
of a douchebag name than Frank. Sure about that. I mean,
Chip is kind of like a country club name, you know,
like you definitely want to go golf for. Yeah, Like,
(22:11):
oh god, what's a good name? Okay, I'm cutting So basically,
take this list and just run away from August. Basically
that's every guy in America. So unless they have a
different name than that. My boyfriend is not on the list.
(22:33):
My current boyfriend is not on the list. And I
was going to say earlier, when you were talking about
having a pension for dating dish brags, you've broken You've
broken the cycle because I like that, Yeah, I like him.
I don't think that he doesn't seem hopefully he's not
a dB I D. You can't even remember your own acronym.
(22:58):
I was like, if she talks. Plus, he's going to
be my business partner. We've talked about that. True, don't
reveal your business plan. I gotta I gotta get you
off here. Yeah, I guarantee you one is stealing that
they can. They can sponsor this podcast once we get
some fun day Listen, we gotta get off of this
(23:20):
podcast right now before we lose it before I heart like,
they're literally like, you guys are canceled. Yes. So in
terms of who emailed about the douchebags, well, it was
a It was a d M and I couldn't see
her full name. So I'll announce it all my Instagram
so that everyone who writes in knows this is how
(23:43):
you don't date a douche bag, right, well not to Yeah,
followed Kelly's and uh suggestion more than mine. I feel
like in this podcast, hopefully people know that I would
be the one to listen to right now and not
you just basically on everything that just happened. Yeah, yeah,
(24:06):
you know what, you should just go back on that
beach should pop another Miller Life, you should just keep
back to casual Cash Act Casual by
Well, well, well, hey Chip, so we actually we actually
had that casual topic planned out and then Chip called
in and he's a little drunk. I love throwing a
curveball and ship. You really did throw a wrench into
this day. What's going on over there? Man? Well, you know,
(00:21):
I figured it's Friday. It's actually Thursday right now, it's Thursday.
But well it's Friday somewhere. I mean, this will be
coming out on Friday, so people will be listening on Friday.
But I bet you, as we're talking, it's already Friday
in Australia and Japan, though you keep telling yourself that,
my friend, it's Thursday where you are. But okay, in
(00:45):
the immortal words of Rebecca Black, it's fridaying eating. I
literally have no idea what you're talking about. You don't know,
Rebecca Black. What, Oh my god, I'm gonna send it
to you when we're done. Okay. It was just it
was this teenage we're digressing a little bit. But you're listen. Now,
you have to tell us she so it was this
(01:07):
was probably I mean, she's an adult now, like she
actually just came out as like I don't know that
she's gay, but she dates women too, but she um
her parents paid for her to go to a recording
studio and like record a song and make a music video.
And a song was called Friday. Okay, it's kind of
actually coming back, and it went super viral because I mean,
(01:31):
it's so catchy, but it's kind of a bad song,
but you don't so catchy. But then she ended up
in like I mean, she became famous, Like she ended
up in a Katie Perry video and like, but she's
now talked about like how she was really bullied and
blah blah blah. So to Rebecca Black, she's still putting
out music and it's frying eating, except it's Thursday. It's
(01:54):
still Thursday. I gotta get drunk on frying Okay, So
what are you doing? Like what made you need to
start drinking right now? So look, I have been holed
up in Nashville and haven't we all? Yes, And I thought,
I'm just going to go down to the beach to
a friend's house. That's a private house. No one's been
(02:16):
in it, no one's on the beach. Um. In fact,
I think I think the beach technically opens tomorrow. But um,
I think private owners have been a lot on the beach.
It's just not open to the public. So, um, I
got down here today and then needed to go sit
on the beach. So I literally jumped over boards that
(02:38):
were blocking the thing and just went. And there was
some other local residents down there, so just having some
beers watching the sunset, and I was only going to
have a couple and then I turned into five. Yeah,
as it does, you know, especially on a beach, right,
It's just it's actually it's in the eighties, so it
was like nice it was, but there was it was
pretty windy, so I've got a lot of sand in
(02:59):
my teeth. But yeah, whatever, So well, there's nothing like
calling into work and being tipsy. Well you know, look,
I've been on tim calls where people are drinking so
much are elier than I started drinking. So isn't that
so interesting? It's the things that would never be acceptable
in real life are all of a sudden acceptable during
(03:21):
this quarantine period. Totally. I mean, look, we live in Tennessee.
Tennessee just started selling alcohol on Sundays because it's the
Bible Belt. It just they just let wine into the
grocery stores, not and like a couple of years ago.
I mean, yeah, I mean it's it is really new
in terms of you know, our country that these things
(03:45):
have been allowed. But they are now allowing bars to
sell to go drinks. Oh yeah bars, you know, like rules,
So what are rules? The only rule is just stay safe? Yeah,
I mean, no one really knows what's happening. I've read actually,
because we were talking about this, I was like getting
on my computer really fast, and I'm like, how much
has drinking gone up? And the truth is that it's
(04:07):
gone up so much and so much so that people
are saying like they are actually getting on zoom calls
after a couple of drinks to do work because it's
like you're sitting at your house and they feel like
they can fully function, Like you would never go to
your office and do that. No, never, Well, look, I
would normally have researched for this, but I was on
(04:27):
the beach, so did. I did read an article the
other day that said beer sales will way up, and
like I'm pretty sure was bush Light, which is the
best thing about that whole statement, Like all the beers
for what I mean, is it one of the cheaper beers? Yeah,
And apparently they've been doing like really creative marketing, like
(04:48):
as it feels very like American or something. Totally yeah,
and that's you know, like if the temperature in Colorado
is a certain temperature, then their beers have like they're
doing like cute things. Oh yeah, but apparently like white
cow is the hottest thing on the market right now.
Yeah it's gluten free man. Oh okay, So I think
so because I've had them before and you know I
(05:10):
can't do gluten um. I also, before I put myself
in the line of fire to anyone who's listening, like
I am taking I look, I am taking COVID seriously,
like as like a I try not to have shame.
I don't want to, like that's not healthy to live with.
(05:32):
But I am this me coming down here and doing this,
Like I am around fewer people than I am in Nashville.
My only necessity is to go to the grocery store
to get food, which in Nashville. I filled up in
Nashville and got here. I'll fill up here and get
(05:52):
back to Nashville. So before anyone wants to throw some
hate around people love it because men to that, you know,
I just came down here for some blue skies and
some fucking sands. So but I'm taking this seriously and
we all should be. If you rant, if you can
(06:12):
find it, great, right, look, if you can find it.
I love that I'm recording this right now. I like,
if you can find an escape that's safe, I think
you should have it because you know, like I'm dealing
with friends that are sending me really depressing ship and
it's like it's we're all in this and everyone is
feeling it, like some people are feeling it a lot
(06:33):
worse than others. But like, if we can all find
some joy and escape, I recommend it, but just do
it safely. Hey, and I want to point out to
all the listeners as well, your job has not been
one that has stopped, so you've been extremely stressed out
and busy. I'm really happy for you that you're getting
away for a couple of days at least to just
chill out. Thank you. Change the scenery it's needed. If
(06:54):
I was like, wait a minute, vacation is still in
like my employment contract, you know what, Right, I could
take a couple of days, but meanwhile I am still
working down here, Like I'll work tomorrow a little bit,
but it's workers and I took a pay cut, so
it's like that's happening everywhere, right. It's stressful. It's stressful.
(07:16):
It's stressful. So it's like, if I need this from
my brain then and my like emotional well being, then
I'm going to take it. And I think it's fair
and I think we all should approach things with fairness.
And that's an interesting point you bring up about just
the mental health that's going on right now, like everyone
is really just trying to survive. And um, I read
an article the other day. It was in the Philadelphia Inquiry,
(07:39):
which is really random, but I was reading about a
lot of this stuff and a lot of people are saying, oh,
we're drinking more. Is that bad for our health? Is
that bad for our mental health? And a lot of
people are saying it's actually fine because this is this
isn't going to increase the addiction or alcoholism stuff that
comes up after this. This is one of as periods
(08:00):
of time where people are genuinely trying to survive. You're
looking for that bright spot at the end of the
hard day. Um, whatever it is, whatever it is that
gets you through. It's kind of what psychologists are even saying,
and then you're at home all day, and especially if
you have kids, oh sanity. On a normal day, you
(08:21):
get in your car, you drive to work, you come home,
and like that stuff breaks up your day. If having
a couple of drinks at the end of your work
day or at lunch make sure day feel a little
broken up, then do it. Like we're all in control
of our own mental health and everyone it's not one
(08:41):
size fits all. So what my advice is is to
sort of do it within your own means, and you know,
don't let it get out of hand, have control of it,
but also give yourself a break. Yeah, I think that
that's kind of what we were saying. Everything sort of
seems like they're no rules. No one has this figured
out yet, so everyone's just trying to survive. I know.
(09:05):
For instance, I told you my boyfriend and I have
been homeschooling his two daughters during the day, and oh
my god, like our happy hours, I mean, I keep
we make the joke, we keep making the joke. And
I've said this on this podcast before, but it's like
our happy hours keep getting like progressively earlier, you know,
I'm like, well, like look at each other after trying
to teach a kindergarten um spelling and writing and math,
(09:29):
and I'm like, they have no attention span. It takes
all the patients in the world, even if the kids
are just amazing and adorable, but you're sitting there trying
to walk them through it while you have work going on,
while you're managing all the stresses that coronavirus. I haven't
done maths since. I'm like, by the way, you're never
going to use this, That's what I want to say.
(09:50):
It's like, yeah, girls, girls, girls, you imagine I would
get told you to ask her when the fund have
you learned that? When did you use the capitals? Teach
me something I need to know? How do I do
my taxes? What if I just started sending them back
to their teacher with like, prove it that I need
(10:12):
to use this misrich prove it. That's kind of what
I want to say. Let me see the question on
the s T No. Literally, it's like, let me see
the question and my job later. It's just never whatever.
But anyway, we digressed, dissed. The point is is homeschool
makes me need tequila really really bad. Like it's just
it's like all the patients in the world, and by
(10:33):
the end of the day, you're like, I need the streak. Look,
I got a call from a friend who had been
laid off recently, and this was I mean it was
some time around twelve or one. This was a couple
of weeks ago. She was ship faced, okay, you know,
and like to a point where it was a little concerning.
But I'm also like, you know what, she's got bad news.
(10:55):
She's down, as long as it doesn't get out, like,
what's bad news? Wait what I mean she got she
got laid off. She got laid off. It had been
a couple of days, you know, prior to her calling me.
But she was definitely like slurring. I mean, she didn't
tell me she was drunk. Yeah, I heard it, like
it was probably what I saw him like now times two.
(11:18):
I think the hard thing is is that you know,
there are these major stresses like getting laid off, and
I am not sitting here trying to condone like drink
your troubles away. But again, I think it's just we
we gotta go a little loud on ourselves and whatever
you need to do for the moment, do it, because
things like getting laid off are really stressful. But things
like getting laid off when there really is no other
(11:39):
job to go get is really stressful. And it's like
really stress Yeah, how are you going to pay your bills?
It's all the things that we've all felt at some
point during this time, and yeah, you just deal how
you deal totally, and like you know, I said to
her in particular, like try to find the under standing
(12:00):
in this that it had nothing to do with you,
you know, like it never know, none of this. People
are getting fired right now, you know, like they're not
getting fired laid off because whatever people can't afford it. Yeah,
it's really really tough, and it's you know, emotionally, everyone's
going to deal with it a little differently. But if
you can look at yourself in the mirror and know
(12:23):
that you were doing a great job and have nothing
to do with you, if that helps a little bit.
And if and if you need a cocktail to get there,
have that cocktail. Have it just like you did have
a bush light. Okay, I mean, I'm hey, if Miller
Lite wants to sponsor this podcast, they can, because I
just opened my six to one, oh refreshing. I mean,
(12:47):
I'll do a product trade, I think. Okay, so there.
Our whole point is do what you need to do
to have fun to keep your mental health alive. Also,
I do think it's a thing to say take care
of your body as well, like you said, like being conscious. Also,
we don't want to kill our immune systems right now.
Everyone needs to be really healthy, a healthy as possible
(13:09):
to fight this virus. So hey, hey, and to echo that, Yeah,
what do you got I've lost I've been I've lost
fourteen pounds in the last three weeks by beating keto. Wow,
this beer drinking is a bit of a cheat for
me and my body probably just reacting to beer, you know,
like I probably got a little more buzz faster because
I haven't been drinking beer. But um, so I'm taking
(13:32):
care of myself, but I'm also allowing myself to have
a little bit of fun. Some Miller ledes not on
the keto diet. Okay, good to know, noted. Well, I
thought they're probably are some beers that are, but I
don't know what they are. Actually, I don't think so
at all. Yeah, I was gonna say maybe something different,
like tequiler or vodka. But we'll look into that and
report back to you guys. With all of that said,
(13:54):
now that everyone's aware of chips state I cannot I
cannot be held accountable point and I think I say,
well that's false. But okay, um, we're gonna move to
our listener email for the week. Actually posted something on
my Instagram earlier today, so some people were d M
(14:16):
MEI as well, and this is a DM. I'm really
glad because I feel like we've got some really great
ammunition for the next couple of weeks. So you guys
keep those emails coming to at casual at velvet edge
dot com or just send me a d M at
Velvet Tide flat on in give us your questions. I like,
I love that we actually are not experts on anything,
but we are going to give advice on a lot
(14:38):
of topics and it's great. Um speaking of speaking of
maybe you were experts on drinking? Is that something to
be an expe right now? Okay, I mean we might,
but you know, I'm like, I love arm track expert. Listen.
Yeah great, but I'm so pissed that he's told he
has that name because I feel like you and are
(15:00):
armed Transfer. It's like we're expert opinion. Sometimes there is
a little bit of expertise when we're talking about some things,
but for the most part, like you guys have to
like take us with a bit of a grain of
salt because I actually don't at all. I actually feel
(15:22):
like I am an expert on this topic that we're
going to speak about today. And um, okay, I'll just
go ahead and read the question. It's a very simple question,
straight up in my d MS. How should you stop
dating douche bags? Yeah, I mean, can I go first? Sure?
(15:43):
Please stop? Well, you know, chip for some of us,
it's not that easy. No judgment here on this podcast.
I mean, don't you see him coming a mile away?
You know? The worst part is I think my friends
see them coming all the way and I'm like, no, no, no, no,
this one is different. They don't. They are in disguise
(16:05):
to me. And here's here's what I have to say.
Here's what I have to say. I do well. I
think it's like, you know, a lot of douche bags
can be in disguise, So let's not place judgment on
any of us or mean, dB I D what can
(16:26):
you not? Can you not acronym whild drinking. Okay, sorry, okay,
So this is something that I have truly struggled with
for years, not even trying to be funny here. This
is my life, this is my reality. Um, but I
think the first thing to say would be, you got
to go to therapy, girl. You've got to figure out
(16:48):
what is going on, because if you have a broken yeah,
if you have a broken picker and you're picking douchebags
over and over and over, there's a reason, Like, there's
a reason we all pick who we pick. You know,
you're not just like randomly going, oh, this is the
hottest guy in the bar, that too, I'm gonna pick,
or the thing about you know, oh I'm so charged
to him. We have so much chemistry. Well is it
(17:09):
chemistry or is it like your dysfunction that's drawn to
someone else? This is what comfort? Yeah, it's familiar. So
you're either like what I've learned in therapy a lot
is that you're mostly either trying to recreate a relationship
from your past or your subconsciously. This is what's so
hard picking people to try that that that like mimic
(17:30):
a relationship that you've had in your past, and you're
trying to fix that, Like if it was gonna I
was gonna say a lot of people wanting to fix
other people. Yes, that was like my therapist straight up
said to me one time, if you come across another
wounded man, you need to run in the other direction
(17:52):
because I just like I am, it's my kryptonite, Like
I just want to go to them, and I yeah,
I think I can. I don't know if I think
that I can fix them consciously, but it's what I'm
drawn to, so I've had to be very conscious with it.
I don't think I've done that perfectly, even even after therapy.
I don't think that I've like figured it out. But
you just look for progress, you know, and you just
(18:14):
I think for me, it's been trying to find someone
who I can be in a relationship who actually wants
to grow too. So you're trying to grow together. It's
not like you're perfect, it's just you're working and growing together. Well,
I mean, I just had this thought, like because I
feel like it's pretty common that you hear like, oh
my god, it's just like I keep dating these people
out I feel like I'm like I have this like
(18:36):
hero um complex where like I need to save them
and like, but the truth is we should all be
looking for people that um are open to, like you
being vulnerable and you being yourself, and that's it, and
you grow together and it's not about like what you
(18:57):
like you doing something for him or him doing something
for you, other than accepting you for who you are,
like with your all your bumps and roises and your
scars and and then all the good things about you
and the acceptance that like, none of us are perfect.
I fall into the same trap. I don't. I don't
(19:18):
necessarily like categorize mine as douche bags because I don't
know that I really have experience with douche bags. But
I definitely have experience with like like trying to help
and like feeling it I'm not or that like feeling
of like I'm not worthy of help. So in order
for this to work, I need to be helping somebody.
(19:39):
I need to elevate somebody. But like, you know what,
we all need a little bit of help. So yeah,
why don't we just be open like being helped and
helping And that's called acceptance. Yes, I think that's not
a relationship to where you're both doing it for each other.
So I don't know if there's like a one stop
shop on how to stop dating douche bag, other than
(20:01):
to look at yourself and to figure out what your
motivations are deep down, what's going on with you that's
not healed or something that you need to work through
from your past even But to me that like, once
you start really kind of figuring that out and looking
at that part of it and healing yourself, it seems
like your attraction changes a little bit and the things
(20:23):
that you're drawn to hopefully are a little healthier for
you and good for you and not like do she right? Well,
I in the midst of this conversation, just do a
gold guy names oh cool, So you're gonna help me
stay away from these guys. This this is obviously a generalization,
(20:43):
and it's on Radio Windy dot com. Radio Windy sounds
very like, of course you are twice because everybody in
my real name is not Chip. I really names um.
So many things happening right now, Miller light Ship reads.
(21:06):
This is the most act casual woment. Guys are number
I'm gonna go and reverse number fifteen, Matthew number fourteen,
Tommy number, Eric number twelve, Ryan number eleven, Scott number ten,
Mike Slash, Michael number nine, Brandon number eight, Bradley number seven,
(21:27):
Frank number six, Travis number five, Tyler number four, Adam
number three, Jeff number two, Mark, and number one Nick.
I've literally dated four of those guys. They're like so generic.
I would have thought, like much more like shitty country
(21:47):
clip names. You know, give us an example of what
you mean. Oh God, I'm gonna fun, I'm gonna find
somebody here. I mean, honestly, Ship is so much more
of a douchebag name than Frank. Sure about that. I mean,
Chip is kind of like a country club name, you know,
like you definitely want to go golf for. Yeah, Like,
(22:11):
oh god, what's a good name? Okay, I'm cutting So basically,
take this list and just run away from August. Basically
that's every guy in America. So unless they have a
different name than that. My boyfriend is not on the list.
(22:33):
My current boyfriend is not on the list. And I
was going to say earlier, when you were talking about
having a pension for dating dish brags, you've broken You've
broken the cycle because I like that, Yeah, I like him.
I don't think that he doesn't seem hopefully he's not
a dB I D. You can't even remember your own acronym.
(22:58):
I was like, if she talks. Plus, he's going to
be my business partner. We've talked about that. True, don't
reveal your business plan. I gotta I gotta get you
off here. Yeah, I guarantee you one is stealing that
they can. They can sponsor this podcast once we get
some fun day Listen, we gotta get off of this
(23:20):
podcast right now before we lose it before I heart like,
they're literally like, you guys are canceled. Yes. So in
terms of who emailed about the douchebags, well, it was
a It was a d M and I couldn't see
her full name. So I'll announce it all my Instagram
so that everyone who writes in knows this is how
(23:43):
you don't date a douche bag, right, well not to Yeah,
followed Kelly's and uh suggestion more than mine. I feel
like in this podcast, hopefully people know that I would
be the one to listen to right now and not
you just basically on everything that just happened. Yeah, yeah,
(24:06):
you know what, you should just go back on that
beach should pop another Miller Life, you should just keep
back to casual Cash Act Casual by
Host
Kelly Henderson
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